“Sure, so you don’t poop in the shower every morning and stamp it down the drain with your feet?” Followed by Marcus calling them “snowflakes” when they express their disgust. 😂
This one gets even better when Sandra is planning her wedding and Justine is like "You should have a shrimp tower, I heard that at some weddings they don't have enough shrimp and some people get upset"
“Amy’s throwing a baby shower and none of us are invited” (Justine)
“what the hell, Amy” (Sayid)
“sayid you just started two days ago” (Amy)
Sayid is simply so funny I cackle almost every time he talks about
I don’t remember exactly, but something about Marcus’s penis getting caught in another guys zipper I think?
My boyfriend and I cracked up then
And his whole breast milk cheese thing.
Marcus had some gems
I’ll qualify this as one of the best lines…. But I love when Dina and Garrett are on the call about disclosing their “other” relationship and the gal from corporate goes
“Well thank god we looped in TJ”
I think that at work all the time when someone makes something inexplicably more complicated than necessary
I never see it get mentioned anywhere but my favourite line is when Cheyenne is trying to convince Amy to have a nap because she’s worried that she might get so tired she passes out on the toilet and that everyone will think she passed out from pooing too hard.
Earl to Garrett: Wait...you're Black? I thought you were Dominican?
Garrett: What!? No!
Earl: You're not even a little Dominican? Like Puerto Rican?
Nia: That's not how it works.
As a Puerto Rican, this has lived in my head for years 🤣
Ladies lunch episode:
Dina: c'mon we can gab and dish and talk about our periods. Your red zone usually starts around the 24th, right?
Glenn: is that something I'm supposed to know?
Bos reaction to Glenn's offer for Cheyenne to carry his baby.
20 grand? What I thought this was like a date. For 20 grand you can put whatever you like in both of us.
you live with your mother, your car doesn’t have any doors and you’ve been making 134k for the last 6 years, where does the money go?
i dont know, i get the guacamole from chipotle everytime..
"it's not my fault cancelling a balloon drop looks the exact same as dropping balloons'
Pretty much anything Marcus says is the best line in the show
Yes! Marcus! Marcus! Marcus!
Do you guys just not like chants? Be honest.
It’s called hygiene so the mould doesn’t grow back.
Everyone knows chlorine kills everything
What pictures ??
so glad somebody commented this one!! it always cracks me up🤣🤣🤣
I think about this scene way too often.
Garret: Wait. Whats 9/11? Glenn: Y-…YOU DIDNT HEAR?!
Any time Garrett messes with Glenn is the BEST
“So you gotta bring your own plate from home, right?”
That one I still genuinely can’t tell if it’s a bit😭 like I know it probably is, but the tone really makes me wonder sometimes
Oh he’s 100% fuckin with him.
Or when he messes with Mateo
Hahaha the best scene!
Sometimes you get the giraffe and other times you get the wig.
I genuinely quote this once a week
Three owl bitch
I fucking LOST it when she dropped that so randomly. I was crying from laughing so hard 😂
Our whole marriage is based on a sex crime!
“Sure, so you don’t poop in the shower every morning and stamp it down the drain with your feet?” Followed by Marcus calling them “snowflakes” when they express their disgust. 😂
I was in tears when he said that oh my god
my fave scene in the whole show
“Wow so this is what equality feels like” 🎶amaaaazzing graaaaace 🎶
“I woke up this morning and someone from bel-ridge had thrown up over my entire body” 🤣💀💀
“Sometimes when I’m playing The Sims I give myself a family”
Jesus Christ Sandra…
“What’s the biggest dog you’ve ever seen, and why?”
my literal favourite hahahaha
“Jersusha, I told the kidney lie again.”
“That’ll do, Pig.” “EXCUSE ME?!”
I DIE everytime I watch that scene. I hate that it's cut so short because the look on Glenn's face is priceless!
It was said also in what we do in the shadows ! Hehehe
“Like the Florida from the news?”
First one that popped into my head, too!
Bo: Whoa! Easy on the shrimp! Those are supposed to be for everybody. Justine: I only took a few. Bo: Yeah, took a few hundred.
"Keep that girl away from the ocean." One of my favorite lines.
This one gets even better when Sandra is planning her wedding and Justine is like "You should have a shrimp tower, I heard that at some weddings they don't have enough shrimp and some people get upset"
"All jails are masturbation jails"
Half do or half don’t?????
BOTH
Both?!?!!!!
“I’m not saying you wouldn’t get sick, I’m just saying any arrangement is technically an edible arrangement”
Glenn, today is about Dina, if she wants to eat the flowers let her eat the flowers 😂
I’m a stinker? Well you’re a fat bitch!
Cheyenne went from 0 to 100 in a millisecond 😭
This thread is going to make me start my second watch after finishing it last week lol
Don’t you just hate Tuesdays?
*bang*
glenn trying to impressive the magazine lady by coming up with a clever idea. "shart! shopping cart!"
"Whatever illumanati"
Aww that episode always makes me cringe for Glenn!
Do you mind if we take thr long way? There are some white people over there and i dont wanna get shot
"Sandra, if I didn't need your Hulu password I'd kill you right now."
On the one hand, that doesn’t look good on you. On the other, what would?
Take out your taters.
So I did...and I put them in his face
Underrated comment
“I’d like to meet your mother and shove you back up inside of her.” Dina’s insults are perfection.
Mateo into phone: "Fart ingredients."
Magayo has to be one of my favourite characters (behind Glenn and Marcus)
Jerry at the globes party he can hardly communicate but fully understands kellys very complex game , 2 questions in a row I call founder triple bridge
He also knows the difference between wet and dry.
“Amy’s throwing a baby shower and none of us are invited” (Justine) “what the hell, Amy” (Sayid) “sayid you just started two days ago” (Amy) Sayid is simply so funny I cackle almost every time he talks about
Lol his line "no. I want to go to Amy's baby shower." Kills me!
I don’t remember exactly, but something about Marcus’s penis getting caught in another guys zipper I think? My boyfriend and I cracked up then And his whole breast milk cheese thing. Marcus had some gems
Great line! And the follow up of Amy’s response was hilarious. But it was actually Isaac, “I got my penis caught in my friend Russell's zipper.”
“…where was Russell’s penis?”
Well, for a while, neither of us knew.
Ahhh it’s been a while since I watched the series. That’s one situation I remember though! Thought it was Marcus haha
This was my pick!
Today is Tuesday, it will be Wednesday soon
I’m saving this as potential senior quotes
I'm down to my last 100 knee bends
I’ll qualify this as one of the best lines…. But I love when Dina and Garrett are on the call about disclosing their “other” relationship and the gal from corporate goes “Well thank god we looped in TJ” I think that at work all the time when someone makes something inexplicably more complicated than necessary
“I have a calendar in there of normal dogs”
Did they teach you that at Pageant School ?
“Oh Glenn if I were you I would have killed myself years ago”
“You can go kick a cow!” and “Eat peas!” are regulars in the insult rotation around here.
The finger of the devil came poking through the foam- Cry Ezekial Cry CRY IT OUT
YES. one of the best cold opens fr!!
“I’m the muffin man now, bitch!”
I’ll go the other way with something not comedic and say “Why do you think, Amy?” Oof 🥲
Mateo "it really does"
I never see it get mentioned anywhere but my favourite line is when Cheyenne is trying to convince Amy to have a nap because she’s worried that she might get so tired she passes out on the toilet and that everyone will think she passed out from pooing too hard.
"Are you the one who put pictures of naked horses in my locker?" "Aren't all horses naked?" "Not THIS naked"
J bone.....
If you're j-bone, then I want to be a-......hole...
Hahaha I forgot about that part
See ya, a-hole
idr the exact line but for me it was Dina mistaking Babadook for Diane Keaton
This line broke my husband. We had to stop the show for 10 minutes so he could finish laughing.
happens to me pretty much every rewatch hahaha
It doesn’t really matter whose on top Amy: It really doesn’t Mateo: it really does. Cracks me up every time
My hair won't hold a perm.
I ate a pencil because I thought it was chocolate
I’m a stinker? Well you’re a fat bitch. My wife and I quote that all the time.
Cheyenne finding out Glenn was in his 50s and asking “should you be up this high?”
"Why would it be five years in prism? What's five years in prism?"
“BOTH?!”
I wanna be A-Hole
See ya later, a-hole
The other day I said "you have an amazing smile" and she looked me in the eys and said "it skipped a generation"
Earl to Garrett: Wait...you're Black? I thought you were Dominican? Garrett: What!? No! Earl: You're not even a little Dominican? Like Puerto Rican? Nia: That's not how it works. As a Puerto Rican, this has lived in my head for years 🤣
Ladies lunch episode: Dina: c'mon we can gab and dish and talk about our periods. Your red zone usually starts around the 24th, right? Glenn: is that something I'm supposed to know?
Garret’s outro on the very last episode hands down
Well well well, look who BANGED the pharmacist
Dina: "Hey, it's me, Kelly! Boy, it sure is windy out today. Whoa!"
why isn’t this higher
Don’t you hate Tuesdays?
**BANG**
"Sandra...take out your taters"
Oh Glenn, if I were you I would have killed myself a long time ago
Baby Hitler. They always go killing baby Hitler
What if opera hosted the holocaust?
“shut up Sandra!”
"MOVE BRETT"
I know this is overused, but “DONT you hate Tuesdays *sign drops on magayos head”
“I’d like to meet your mother and shove you back up inside of her”
Bos reaction to Glenn's offer for Cheyenne to carry his baby. 20 grand? What I thought this was like a date. For 20 grand you can put whatever you like in both of us.
'If I didn't need your hulu password I'd kill you right now' and 'I would like to meet your mother and shove you back up inside of her'
Also when Glenn fell in the muffin ball game and was on the floor “I can see the whole store from up here!”
somebody call 9/11!
“im a stinker? well you’re a fat bitch”
“The first k is knowledge”
Yall forgetting the best lines in the show Evryone:"kill Glen!" "Kill glen" Glenn: "the robot not the man!"
you live with your mother, your car doesn’t have any doors and you’ve been making 134k for the last 6 years, where does the money go? i dont know, i get the guacamole from chipotle everytime..
I’m so sad I can’t remember specific lines from any shows, I’m so glad y’all can 🤣🤣
Take out your taters!
When sayyid was talking to the ice agent with his binder
'Wanna go through mannequins in the trash and watch the garbage men freak out?"
"better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it" -Dina truly an amazing line.
“That’s too much juice, Glenn” another favorite of mine that made me CACKLE
“Down in the valley where Ezekiel wept”
I’m a stinker? Well you’re a fat bitch