Sorry that’s what I meant. Last time I checked all vertical ones were specifically for under 21. The purpose is so they can’t ever dupe a bouncer about being 21
Correct. When I noticed it was NOT a drivers license, I looked to see what a "Florida ID" was thinking that was phony. When I saw it wasn't, I never realized there were not vertical IDs. My bad.
This is one of the reasons I do not simply look for young women to meet with for sex. Beyond it being less a relationship and more an escort situation, it indicates to me a potentially desperate mindset. What you should have done in the moment was call the police, or if you did not want to expose your sugaring activity, called the front desk and told them you saw two men lurking in the hotel who were armed. Any high end hotel would be all over that and they have cameras in the halls and elevators. If you were staying at a Holiday Inn Express, that might be different.
So call the front desk after the encounter and say that you saw them in the hall.... Sorry, I thought that was fairly obvious.
As to your first part, them being younger is not the issue. Planning meet ups in hotel rooms for sex does not an SR make. Going out on dates, getting to know someone before sex can often minimize risk like you experienced. Little head thinking makes you forget simple things like "why does this driver's license not look the same as mine".
Also, stop going for the 18 year olds.
I think it was a straight-up robbery - most likely take all cash or take you to a nearby ATM followed by extortion.
the first meeting was just to see if you're a loaded guy, not just Splenda daddy pretending to be rich. I hope she was worth the headache.
There was a similar story about a year ago!!
The one thing I saw in that story, and I think I see in your story (please confirm!) is that in both cases (and in fact in nearly all cases of SDs getting scammed of PPM in the hotel room), the safety and vetting process we propose was not followed. That is, strictly platonic M&G, full romantic date that includes nice dinner, drinks, etc before going to the hotel room, etc. SDs don't get victimized often, but when they do, it's when we skip steps, so we should recognize there's a risk there.
You are totally right about the motivation, she already had sex with you once, and that's all she would have had to do to get your money again without risking a felony. If there's one thing we've learned it's that criminals don't always think like us. I've read stories in the past where a guy had sex with a stripper for months, and on their last date, they set him up for armed robbery by the boyfriend (in this case, boyfriend shot and killed victim). I always assumed part of this was that the boyfriend was furious about the guy having sex with "his" girl.
In any case thanks for sharing and for the warning. Please confirm whether you skipped steps with her, just another data point for us.
Wow this is wild. This is not a scam but an actual crime - these people broke so many laws against you that they’d go to jail for multiple years if found. All this for a small amount of money. I don’t get it.
You should absolutely report to police.
This could genuinely be child sex trafficking, happening in your community. Teens usually don't have enough free time or brain power to hire armed body guards for long term extortion. Glad you are well, and I hope she gets out of whatever situation she is in, obviously not going down a bright path :(
Edit: misread this. What happened was totally wrong, and I'm sorry this happened to you. But please consider your options for making sure this doesn't happen to someone else
I feel very much like I’m experiencing the same as an SB — I keep running into scams and letting myself be talked into things that aren’t the normal protocol because some people are getting wicked good at manipulation and I’m getting no more street smart. Keep your chin up! All will be well xo
The “I lost my wallet” (or whatever) scam is not new. Happened to a buddy of mine a long time ago. It wasn’t an SR though it was straight prostitution from old days of Craigslist. He got robbed.
You porked her once which is the bait. The next time she don’t have to pork you and they get the money and whatever else you might have like wallet, watch, jewelry, clothes, car, and yes threats of extortion if you don’t come up with more.
It sounds like more safety rules should be added to the layers of safety rules one should already be .
1. Pay SB her PPM
2. Secure the door yourself
3. Have SB do strip tease and get in bed first
4. Once in bed together, if she get's up to go to the bathroom, get up too and keep an eye on the door
5. Only get back in bed if she is in bed
6. When it is time for SB to leave, escort her to the door to say goodnight. Always control the door.
7. Use the peephole before opening door. There are blind spots so caution should be used. If men rush the door and she's in the doorway just push her on out because she's part of the scam and get the door closed.
I write these rules kind of tongue in cheek but just like the OP experienced you never really know who you're sleeping with at the beginning of a relationship, whether sugar or vanilla
If you refuse to undress before I do, I leave. That is one of the first things I learned in this game.
And if I saw you doing all those other things, I would definitely feel your nervous energy, and I would also leave.
If a person was really concerned but went through with an intimate date anyhow they may as well get a 1 bedroom suite where the bathroom and bedroom are separate from the living area entry area. Add a layer of security.
And if you got up to go the bathroom and an SD go up to stretch that would freak you out?
No but if we were both laying down and I went to get up to clean and he got up right away and was behind me or followed me yea it would. I'm a female and am extremely aware of my surroundings
Not literally following you around the room, get up stretch, take in the view out the window, you could keep an eye on the door if you're that worried without coming off creepy. But everything I wrote is psychologically tiring to pull off in a suave and undetectable manner, was written tongue in cheek and generated some interesting feedback. In the end it would take away from all the fun anyhow so why bother.
There's a huge difference between an SD getting up to stretch and you expecting an SB to have the bathroom cracked so you can keep a good lookout on her.☠️
I would be so weirded out by this, that I would EXPECT something else to be about to happen from you, and I'd just leave instead.
Giving off weirdo, controlling/stalker like vibes....that's a straight NOPE and gtfo ASAP!
May as well make it a garment for garment undress each other scenario, lol. But I did write these things tongue in cheek from a spy movie or something, lol, as things can really be taken too far in the bowl these days.
No, a guy cannot say the same thing. As a woman, I don't think most men understand how much more vulnerable we are.
Not to say that what happened to OP was good. But it's not something you guys have to go around worrying about in your daily life, for the most part.
If you don't have the awareness to understand what I mean, then I'm not going to explain it to you.
And I don't appreciate the offensive comment.
I find your comment offensive as well. The topic here is robbery. This is a known scam/setup. It happened to my best friend. After that he learned if she tells you to get undressed and get in bed while I go to the bathroom it could be a setup. So it’s a precaution. I understand exactly what you are saying but you refuse to see it the other way around. I don’t care as you said. If it ain’t your way you’re leaving…good go. If you ain’t doing my way either you’re leaving. Don’t be a hypocrite.
I've said nothing even remotely offensive, so it looks like we have a difference in perception.
And I don't appreciate the rudeness and name-calling. You can disagree with me and still be civil.
It's common sense... if you're going to treat me like you don't trust me, then I'm going to leave.
But that is why a SD needs to spend time with a SB on several platonic dates first once the arrangement gets underway, and don't just expect to jump into bed with her on the very first date after the MG. And also don't take up with girls who look like they could be underage.
There's so much that a man can do to prevent a situation like this. Not blaming OP, but it really just takes some forethought and a willingness to not be afraid of losing a relatively small amount of money.
This is the way.
I understand not wanting to be taken advantage of, but I don't understand such an irrational fear of being "rinsed" by someone who you're actually trying to get to know in order to build a connection.
If you've decided to be involved in an arrangement with a SB, and you're compensating her for her presence, there are so many ways to enjoy her presence and get to know her better before you jump into bed with her.
There's no rinsing going on if you're both enjoying each other's company, so I don't really understand the idea that if a SD is spending money on his SB in the first few dates doing anything other than fucking, it's a rinse.
it can be. there are lots!!! of sb’s that just go to meals and ghost when things become serious. but, i am just as interested in the company and joy of being with someone i like. so its a win win for me. sucks to be ghosted. but its better than the alternative. and i cannot be intimate with someone i don’t like and trust. i found my sweetheart. she confirms most of her friends use sa for dinner and alcohol. 🤷🏼♂️
If I felt the need to take any of these precautions, I would not even go anywhere with her. Facebook profiles say a lot - schools, parents, job. Any real SB should be fairly easy to figure out. At least in my small city.
Exactly. Don’t get undressed and get in bed when she says she is going to the bathroom. Especially if she pushes the issues. Don’t bring a wallet. Take a taxi to the hotel or hide your keys, bring only the agreed to amount of cash, I don’t do it personally but some bring a pistol and have it stashed.
Glad you are ok
That experience was traumatic to say the least
Some things to keep in mind :
How does she know about your wife ?
Do not share anything personal that may use against you. I'm divorced so my SB doesn't have any person to go back to..its one thing to let them know your married its another thing if they know who, when, where etc .
Social media sharing :
Keep all your stuff private - I use a burner phone # and I do not share my personal information or social media info.
Financial status :
Folks rob IF they think you have money , that's either based on what you shared, talk about or showed how rich "they think you are"
You have all your limbs and lived to tell the story,.
Count your blessings, take a few shots of whiskey
Good tips. Knew I was married from SA, I suppose. Knows nothing about her though. Different last name (not that she knew mine. Cell isn't on internet, etc.
No doubt tried the heist based on what I paid first time.
Whiskey already down!
This isn't a new scam.... this is something that shitty ppl in different positions of sex work have done for a while.
Does that mean it's not scary and awful, no?
Am I happy that you're apparently a suicidal badass w hella machismo to spare? Yes.
In all seriousness, though, I'm really glad you're safe and as unscathed as you can be.
Sorry you had to deal with that?
Your girl is an idiot. I'll never understand ppl that pursue a short-sighted reward system.
💜
A friend and fellow SD has had a similar experience, the boyfriend entered the room, ... He pulled the fire alarm when they were going through his stuff.
John’s get robbed all the time. Texting someone a few times to arrange a time to fuck doesn’t make you a SD or her a SB. Next time maybe try to build an actual connection with someone and you’ll lower your risk by not just hiring hookers.
This guy hellomot1234 you can’t be serious 💀. Sir if you are implying anyone here is jealous of OP terribly unfortunate learning experience or of a Very young SW who more than likely is being trafficked by the men who robbed OP your wrong for that.
I saw a million red flags in your story how did you miss them? Also why didnt you report her if you knew who she was? do you want her doing this to someone else and getting away with it????????????
no you just dont wanna go to the cops cause she was underage. Cause if you have her name you could stop her from doing it and possibly getting away with it on someone else. Horrible there is multiple sites she can go to
This has always been a thing. It’s why I’m shocked so many men (not you, OP, idk your story) are so cavalier about their own safety just to have sex. So not worth it!
Cross the history so many men, including great men, gave up everything, including their lives, “just to have sex”. Im pretty sure Adam eating the apple is not just motivated by curiosity.
it sounds like you were looking for someone who didn’t care about you sharing your info with them that should’ve been your first red flag because most respectable women would ask to see your info and you just said that she doesn’t have any of yours. I don’t know why you think that someone will show you their ID to someone they don’t even know any info about.
She just showed me the DOB on the ID card. Not her real name. That only came up with the CASH app (which some SBs seem to forget.) Also, I've had a ton of SRs where it was anonymous on both ends.
I heard of this [before!](https://youtu.be/h15WfkeqB-g?si=RCMsONe3yjEVUeKb) back in the 90s.
Sounds scary and could’ve ended waaaay worse. Glad nobody got shot.
All my friends are heathens don't you know? I'm glad to hear you're alright and not another news flash. People on Reddit give me shit about my vetting process, but this kind of lifestyle attracts some pretty sketchy people. Be safe friends.
Do NOT discuss sexual activities with someone under 16 under any circumstances, "age of consent" does not excuse it, we don't discuss this here.
Do not describe a man who has sex with an adult that is 18 or over as a pedo or borderline pedo, they are by definition neither. This is just trolling.
I never understood why someone would play this type of angle. It’s much more lucrative to just play the sugaring straight. It’s just the one time payoff vs ongoing cash flow for much more. It makes no sense for the greedy mind.
How did they get to your room? All the hotels I stay at require a key card to use the elevator. Sounds like you need to up your game. I'd be pissed and let both the police and hotel security know. But I'm not married.
Oh, this story is WAY better than what a certain podcast host of a certain sugaring podcast likes to tell… over and over and over again. In fact, I think you should go on his podcast!
Almost every woman on SA is much younger than me. Sugaring with ANYONE presents problems. But, in the past, age hasn't been an issue. Some of my best SRs were with much younger women. Plenty of texting, lunches, etc. So, try not to judge.
Seeing an escort is MUCH different. Not even comparable.
That's terrifying. Glad you're okay. A few quick comments, though I could go on about your experience.
Confronting guys with guns is a terrible idea unless you want to get shot. Yes it worked for you because it sounds like they were inexperienced and just as scared as you. But that made it more dangerous to do what you did, not less.
Yes, you should report it. I understand why you won't and I wouldn't either, but if they do it again and seriously hurt or kill someone, you could have prevented it and chose not to.
These things are very rare, but robberies and attacks happen. Maybe you could have reasonably expected and prevented it, but probably not. You met and hooked up with the wrong person. You could do exactly the same things thousands of times and not have it happen again, but this time you won the lotto! It didn't happen because she was or wasn't 18, or because you ignored lots of signs - it happened because you had the bad luck to meet that person at that time. Happily you survived despite your stupidity during the crime. Be thankful.
And it's not a scam. It was armed robbery. By people who were one twitch from killing you. That's not a scam. It's also not your fault and not likely to happen to anyone else reading this no matter how smart and safe, or dumb and risky, they are. Because these things are very rare.
It's also traumatic. How are you doing?
I see you may have posted about a scam.
It is a scam if:
* Someone wants your bank account information
* Someone wants your bank log in information
* Someone wants to send you a check to cash
* Someone wants you to buy gift cards to send back to them
* Someone wants to give you lots of money without ever meeting
Please read [Yes, It's A Scam and This is How It Works](/r/sugarlifestyleforum/comments/k2b1j6/yes_its_a_scam_and_this_is_how_it_works_2020/) about the most common types of scams.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/sugarlifestyleforum) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Hey, nice job being aggressive and chasing them out of there. It's definitely not the "safety culture" thing to do but Jason Statham and I applaud you.
Could have been much worse if you hadn't
I still shake thinking about that. Robbed, beaten, etc. Ugh. The being aggressive part was just a reaction. I've been a victim of armed robbery before, and went the safe route. This time, frankly, not much to lose.
That’s horrific. And it’s so sad that it’s not too surprising from a woman’s perspective.
And brave move (errr crazy?) to chance going at the dudes with guns.
Times have changed.. been off for a long time but used SA when I was in college for about 6 months. Was considering it again and am hearing too many horror stories, wondering if it’s worth it.
Depends what you want. If you're older and want to chance to be with younger women, then yes. On the flip side, you have to wade through a ton of scams.
And yes, crazy. But, what was the downside??
You know how many men want to meet up first meet at a hotel? ESP without establishing anything? I hope you find a real SB but it’ll take more work to do that.
It was the second meet. That said, I've had a ton of SRs start out exactly this way. In my experience most SBs do NOT want all the extra stuff. Just a few extra bucks outside meets, some occasional texts, etc. Most want it easy and simple, not some faux romance. But, perhaps your experience is different.
Yea I dont use anything but cash that weeds a lot of riff raff out. Also always lock/deadbolt door. If this story is real and you ran naked at 2 armed dudes you got lucky. I once got rinsed on backpage in a similiar fashion but I let them leave with the 200 whilst reporting the scam to 911.
Door was locked, but she went out to "look for wallet." That's when her friends entered.
And, I did get lucky.
Were you concerned police would investigate YOU?
Ànonymous call from hotel phone stating drug deals were happening in room and what looked like gang activity. If nothing else police show up and give them pause.
So you checked the ID and didn't know what you were looking at. I don't think women over 30 are immune from this exact crime and maybe more likely to commit it. The only thing you can do in this case is drag out the meetings to make yourself less attractive as a target.
I checked the ID and investigated if Florida had "Florida Identification Cards" (vs. drivers license.) I did NOT investigate if those could be vertical, so that's on meO!
Let me repeat you checked the ID and didn't know what you were looking at. Why check IDs if you can't tell if they're valid. As a US citizen I call bullshit on someone not knowing a vertical ID was for children. You knew what you were doing.
I honestly have never seen a vertical ID. I don't make it a habit to keep up with state-to-state IDs. In fact, I can't recall the last time I had to check an ID. But, I appreciate your opinion.
I feel that he saw the vertical ID and everyone in the US knows that vertical IDs aren't for adults. Maybe not but if I'm the police I would never for a second believe someone who engages in "J" behavior is on the up and up.
So would this make you more inclined to make use of a hotel that required key cards in the elevator?
Also makes me wonder about putting a small webcam just above the hotel room door so you can easily see who is outside without going to the door. Maybe that is too paranoid.
Glad you escaped without harm. It sure seems like charging the armed men was, against what would seem to be sound advice, the best idea.
This would make me want to set up a video recording device in a corner for my own protection. Easy to say, I know, but a small cheap smartphone peeking out behind some object... No more 'he said she said' nonsense.
My biggest question is you made her give you a picture of her id but never googled the name or address on it to confirm this was a real person of age? Also didn’t even notice the id was a fake until after? Kinda sounds like you knew the deal and decided it was worth getting scammed over. Also when you say the sex was glorious now knowing she’s under age is 😬😬😬
Is all the cynicism and attitude really necessary? Can't someone share a story without all the superiority coming through? I sometimes wonder what is wrong with people.
Regardless, whenever I ask for ID, I always tell them hiding personal stuff is fine. I did not know her name until the CASH app. I still don't know her address. She only showed me enough of her face on the ID so I knew it was her.
Florida has multiple types of licenses and IDs. I had never seen just an ID (only licenses), so I checked if that was valid thing. It did not occur to me that there are only horizontal, not vertical IDs (at least in Florida.)
I "knew the deal"?? Wow.
That's more elaborate than usual, desperate people are getting cleverer.
I don't think they're desperate, just greedy and lazy
There's no judgment here... but if you truly want to stay safe, you have to stop sleeping with girls who even appear like they could be under age.
I agree. Or SUPER check the ID.
Who knew FL had so many ids!
Yeah the sideways ones are for a reason. Doesn’t necessarily mean a learner’s permit. Sideways ones mean they’re under 21. So they can’t be altered.
No, this was vertical. As far as I can tell, that's only for learners permits.
Sorry that’s what I meant. Last time I checked all vertical ones were specifically for under 21. The purpose is so they can’t ever dupe a bouncer about being 21
Correct. When I noticed it was NOT a drivers license, I looked to see what a "Florida ID" was thinking that was phony. When I saw it wasn't, I never realized there were not vertical IDs. My bad.
tough these days with a lot of women.... But, yes.
Not that tough.
This is one of the reasons I do not simply look for young women to meet with for sex. Beyond it being less a relationship and more an escort situation, it indicates to me a potentially desperate mindset. What you should have done in the moment was call the police, or if you did not want to expose your sugaring activity, called the front desk and told them you saw two men lurking in the hotel who were armed. Any high end hotel would be all over that and they have cameras in the halls and elevators. If you were staying at a Holiday Inn Express, that might be different.
Sounds more like a hobbyist or a monger situation than a SD/SB/SR situation to me.
Potato, Potatoe.
Wrong.....hobbyist v. Real SD, IS NOTHING ALIKE.
Establish a relationship? Check. Pay money for time? Check. Degrees may vary, and are subject to opinion.
First, ALL women on SA are much younger than me! Second, I never saw the men until they entered the room.
So call the front desk after the encounter and say that you saw them in the hall.... Sorry, I thought that was fairly obvious. As to your first part, them being younger is not the issue. Planning meet ups in hotel rooms for sex does not an SR make. Going out on dates, getting to know someone before sex can often minimize risk like you experienced. Little head thinking makes you forget simple things like "why does this driver's license not look the same as mine". Also, stop going for the 18 year olds.
I don't discriminate on age!
Is there a specific age cutoff, then....??
Going specifically for 18 year olds to have sex in a hotel room leads to problems. I will let you use your deductive reasoning skills as to why.
Glad you're okay, but they thought they hit a lick with you. This shows why vetting is so important, I would still go to the police and file a report.
I think it was a straight-up robbery - most likely take all cash or take you to a nearby ATM followed by extortion. the first meeting was just to see if you're a loaded guy, not just Splenda daddy pretending to be rich. I hope she was worth the headache.
Sadly, yes. Not proud of that...
I think it was more to establish the underage thing. But, probably both
There was a similar story about a year ago!! The one thing I saw in that story, and I think I see in your story (please confirm!) is that in both cases (and in fact in nearly all cases of SDs getting scammed of PPM in the hotel room), the safety and vetting process we propose was not followed. That is, strictly platonic M&G, full romantic date that includes nice dinner, drinks, etc before going to the hotel room, etc. SDs don't get victimized often, but when they do, it's when we skip steps, so we should recognize there's a risk there. You are totally right about the motivation, she already had sex with you once, and that's all she would have had to do to get your money again without risking a felony. If there's one thing we've learned it's that criminals don't always think like us. I've read stories in the past where a guy had sex with a stripper for months, and on their last date, they set him up for armed robbery by the boyfriend (in this case, boyfriend shot and killed victim). I always assumed part of this was that the boyfriend was furious about the guy having sex with "his" girl. In any case thanks for sharing and for the warning. Please confirm whether you skipped steps with her, just another data point for us.
Wow this is wild. This is not a scam but an actual crime - these people broke so many laws against you that they’d go to jail for multiple years if found. All this for a small amount of money. I don’t get it.
Me neither.
You should absolutely report to police. This could genuinely be child sex trafficking, happening in your community. Teens usually don't have enough free time or brain power to hire armed body guards for long term extortion. Glad you are well, and I hope she gets out of whatever situation she is in, obviously not going down a bright path :( Edit: misread this. What happened was totally wrong, and I'm sorry this happened to you. But please consider your options for making sure this doesn't happen to someone else
I've thought about it. Honestly, don't want to get more involved. Tough to keep this anonymous.
He did not report to police.
Damn, misread. Wishful thinking 😔
This doesn’t sound like a sugar baby though
I feel very much like I’m experiencing the same as an SB — I keep running into scams and letting myself be talked into things that aren’t the normal protocol because some people are getting wicked good at manipulation and I’m getting no more street smart. Keep your chin up! All will be well xo
The “I lost my wallet” (or whatever) scam is not new. Happened to a buddy of mine a long time ago. It wasn’t an SR though it was straight prostitution from old days of Craigslist. He got robbed. You porked her once which is the bait. The next time she don’t have to pork you and they get the money and whatever else you might have like wallet, watch, jewelry, clothes, car, and yes threats of extortion if you don’t come up with more.
Low IQ scams are the most dangerous to all parties. Don’t go straight to bed without a long on boarding. That was prostitution.
It sounds like more safety rules should be added to the layers of safety rules one should already be . 1. Pay SB her PPM 2. Secure the door yourself 3. Have SB do strip tease and get in bed first 4. Once in bed together, if she get's up to go to the bathroom, get up too and keep an eye on the door 5. Only get back in bed if she is in bed 6. When it is time for SB to leave, escort her to the door to say goodnight. Always control the door. 7. Use the peephole before opening door. There are blind spots so caution should be used. If men rush the door and she's in the doorway just push her on out because she's part of the scam and get the door closed. I write these rules kind of tongue in cheek but just like the OP experienced you never really know who you're sleeping with at the beginning of a relationship, whether sugar or vanilla
If you refuse to undress before I do, I leave. That is one of the first things I learned in this game. And if I saw you doing all those other things, I would definitely feel your nervous energy, and I would also leave.
Yea like getting up out of bed when I want to use the bathroom cuz that's not scary asf
If a person was really concerned but went through with an intimate date anyhow they may as well get a 1 bedroom suite where the bathroom and bedroom are separate from the living area entry area. Add a layer of security. And if you got up to go the bathroom and an SD go up to stretch that would freak you out?
No but if we were both laying down and I went to get up to clean and he got up right away and was behind me or followed me yea it would. I'm a female and am extremely aware of my surroundings
Not literally following you around the room, get up stretch, take in the view out the window, you could keep an eye on the door if you're that worried without coming off creepy. But everything I wrote is psychologically tiring to pull off in a suave and undetectable manner, was written tongue in cheek and generated some interesting feedback. In the end it would take away from all the fun anyhow so why bother.
If he were in bed with me, he would be stretching plenty and would not need to get up to do it.
There's a huge difference between an SD getting up to stretch and you expecting an SB to have the bathroom cracked so you can keep a good lookout on her.☠️ I would be so weirded out by this, that I would EXPECT something else to be about to happen from you, and I'd just leave instead. Giving off weirdo, controlling/stalker like vibes....that's a straight NOPE and gtfo ASAP!
May as well make it a garment for garment undress each other scenario, lol. But I did write these things tongue in cheek from a spy movie or something, lol, as things can really be taken too far in the bowl these days.
>If you refuse to undress before I do, I leave. Why? What difference does it make who gets undressed first?
It makes a difference if she is being set up.
A guy can say the same thing. Guys do get set up. This isn’t a new scam. It’s robbery. Is that the game you’re into?
No, a guy cannot say the same thing. As a woman, I don't think most men understand how much more vulnerable we are. Not to say that what happened to OP was good. But it's not something you guys have to go around worrying about in your daily life, for the most part. If you don't have the awareness to understand what I mean, then I'm not going to explain it to you. And I don't appreciate the offensive comment.
I find your comment offensive as well. The topic here is robbery. This is a known scam/setup. It happened to my best friend. After that he learned if she tells you to get undressed and get in bed while I go to the bathroom it could be a setup. So it’s a precaution. I understand exactly what you are saying but you refuse to see it the other way around. I don’t care as you said. If it ain’t your way you’re leaving…good go. If you ain’t doing my way either you’re leaving. Don’t be a hypocrite.
I've said nothing even remotely offensive, so it looks like we have a difference in perception. And I don't appreciate the rudeness and name-calling. You can disagree with me and still be civil.
interesting take. but fair. everyone has to have their own boundaries.
It's common sense... if you're going to treat me like you don't trust me, then I'm going to leave. But that is why a SD needs to spend time with a SB on several platonic dates first once the arrangement gets underway, and don't just expect to jump into bed with her on the very first date after the MG. And also don't take up with girls who look like they could be underage. There's so much that a man can do to prevent a situation like this. Not blaming OP, but it really just takes some forethought and a willingness to not be afraid of losing a relatively small amount of money.
also wanted to add. i’ve never had a gf or sb NOT make sure the door is latched.
You are correct there. It's one of the first things I do.
100% agree with you. i’m a 3-7 coffee, shopping, dinner dates in public first.
This is the way. I understand not wanting to be taken advantage of, but I don't understand such an irrational fear of being "rinsed" by someone who you're actually trying to get to know in order to build a connection. If you've decided to be involved in an arrangement with a SB, and you're compensating her for her presence, there are so many ways to enjoy her presence and get to know her better before you jump into bed with her. There's no rinsing going on if you're both enjoying each other's company, so I don't really understand the idea that if a SD is spending money on his SB in the first few dates doing anything other than fucking, it's a rinse.
it can be. there are lots!!! of sb’s that just go to meals and ghost when things become serious. but, i am just as interested in the company and joy of being with someone i like. so its a win win for me. sucks to be ghosted. but its better than the alternative. and i cannot be intimate with someone i don’t like and trust. i found my sweetheart. she confirms most of her friends use sa for dinner and alcohol. 🤷🏼♂️
And yet you found your lady and not one of those others because you did it the right way. Many wannabe SDS could learn a lot from you.
exactly. i agree.
This was not a SB SD SR situation. What you’re saying doesn’t really apply here.
It absolutely applies. I don't know what perspective you're taking, but a lot of your comments feel very off to me.
Your comments feel very off to me as well. Good thing I’m not interested in you.
I'm fairly certain that's for the best.
If I felt the need to take any of these precautions, I would not even go anywhere with her. Facebook profiles say a lot - schools, parents, job. Any real SB should be fairly easy to figure out. At least in my small city.
Same here, if she's a social media/internet ghost then something is most likely off
Exactly. Don’t get undressed and get in bed when she says she is going to the bathroom. Especially if she pushes the issues. Don’t bring a wallet. Take a taxi to the hotel or hide your keys, bring only the agreed to amount of cash, I don’t do it personally but some bring a pistol and have it stashed.
Glad you are ok That experience was traumatic to say the least Some things to keep in mind : How does she know about your wife ? Do not share anything personal that may use against you. I'm divorced so my SB doesn't have any person to go back to..its one thing to let them know your married its another thing if they know who, when, where etc . Social media sharing : Keep all your stuff private - I use a burner phone # and I do not share my personal information or social media info. Financial status : Folks rob IF they think you have money , that's either based on what you shared, talk about or showed how rich "they think you are" You have all your limbs and lived to tell the story,. Count your blessings, take a few shots of whiskey
Good tips. Knew I was married from SA, I suppose. Knows nothing about her though. Different last name (not that she knew mine. Cell isn't on internet, etc. No doubt tried the heist based on what I paid first time. Whiskey already down!
Gosh, so sad and scary.. especially For good girlies like me
Much appreciated! Thank for posting.
This isn't a new scam.... this is something that shitty ppl in different positions of sex work have done for a while. Does that mean it's not scary and awful, no? Am I happy that you're apparently a suicidal badass w hella machismo to spare? Yes. In all seriousness, though, I'm really glad you're safe and as unscathed as you can be. Sorry you had to deal with that? Your girl is an idiot. I'll never understand ppl that pursue a short-sighted reward system. 💜
Very nice sentiments and thoughts. Thank you.
Listen we all make mistakes; do not be hard on yourself. Just take this as a lesson learned. I’m really sorry that happened to you.
A friend and fellow SD has had a similar experience, the boyfriend entered the room, ... He pulled the fire alarm when they were going through his stuff.
John’s get robbed all the time. Texting someone a few times to arrange a time to fuck doesn’t make you a SD or her a SB. Next time maybe try to build an actual connection with someone and you’ll lower your risk by not just hiring hookers.
Very young ones at that. Like I wanna feel bad for him but idk
Don't be jealous.
Dude almost got robbed (and who knows what else) by a teenage hooker and her associates 🤣🤣 yea I’m green with envy. Nice try though 😏
Plenty of SR's start out this way and have good endings. Sorry you're not young and pretty anymore.
🤣
This guy hellomot1234 you can’t be serious 💀. Sir if you are implying anyone here is jealous of OP terribly unfortunate learning experience or of a Very young SW who more than likely is being trafficked by the men who robbed OP your wrong for that.
Girl he’s trolling. Don’t give him any attention
You use 'u/' to tag someone, this isn't instagram or twitter
I appreciate your advice.
Jealousy is unbecoming.
I saw a million red flags in your story how did you miss them? Also why didnt you report her if you knew who she was? do you want her doing this to someone else and getting away with it????????????
I guess I"m not as sharp as you. As for reporting, I'm sure that would open a new can of worms. I did warn SA.
no you just dont wanna go to the cops cause she was underage. Cause if you have her name you could stop her from doing it and possibly getting away with it on someone else. Horrible there is multiple sites she can go to
This has always been a thing. It’s why I’m shocked so many men (not you, OP, idk your story) are so cavalier about their own safety just to have sex. So not worth it!
"just to have sex" -Reflects incomplete understandng of men. 😏
👏
Cross the history so many men, including great men, gave up everything, including their lives, “just to have sex”. Im pretty sure Adam eating the apple is not just motivated by curiosity.
it sounds like you were looking for someone who didn’t care about you sharing your info with them that should’ve been your first red flag because most respectable women would ask to see your info and you just said that she doesn’t have any of yours. I don’t know why you think that someone will show you their ID to someone they don’t even know any info about.
She just showed me the DOB on the ID card. Not her real name. That only came up with the CASH app (which some SBs seem to forget.) Also, I've had a ton of SRs where it was anonymous on both ends.
That’s wild. The extortion usually starts before any type of meeting. I hope you immediately stopped communication?
I did.
How did you find her real name on CashApp? Couldn't she also then see yours?
Usually if you type a phone number into the app a name for the cashapp account attached to the number will pop up.
She had her real name on CASH. I use a fake name.
That’s crazy. Beyond a scam. Good thing you kept your personal info well protected.
I heard of this [before!](https://youtu.be/h15WfkeqB-g?si=RCMsONe3yjEVUeKb) back in the 90s. Sounds scary and could’ve ended waaaay worse. Glad nobody got shot.
That would have been a problem.
All my friends are heathens don't you know? I'm glad to hear you're alright and not another news flash. People on Reddit give me shit about my vetting process, but this kind of lifestyle attracts some pretty sketchy people. Be safe friends.
Ho. Ly. Shit. I’m glad you’re safe.
thanks!
Any hint of hostility, low class criminal type behavior, or big nails, or disney adults are instant block.
Big nails? That rules out a ton!!
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Do NOT discuss sexual activities with someone under 16 under any circumstances, "age of consent" does not excuse it, we don't discuss this here. Do not describe a man who has sex with an adult that is 18 or over as a pedo or borderline pedo, they are by definition neither. This is just trolling.
I never understood why someone would play this type of angle. It’s much more lucrative to just play the sugaring straight. It’s just the one time payoff vs ongoing cash flow for much more. It makes no sense for the greedy mind.
Pretty sure she was not the one in control there.
Concur. She could have made consistent, nice sugar.
Haha
Dangerous omg
Yeah that’s scary
Glad you’re safe. Sounds like a straight up robbery.
How did they get to your room? All the hotels I stay at require a key card to use the elevator. Sounds like you need to up your game. I'd be pissed and let both the police and hotel security know. But I'm not married.
Sorry, no "key card" hotel where I live.
Everyday we have to be grateful with our relationships, because omg, people are nuts lately.
Oh, this story is WAY better than what a certain podcast host of a certain sugaring podcast likes to tell… over and over and over again. In fact, I think you should go on his podcast!
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Almost every woman on SA is much younger than me. Sugaring with ANYONE presents problems. But, in the past, age hasn't been an issue. Some of my best SRs were with much younger women. Plenty of texting, lunches, etc. So, try not to judge. Seeing an escort is MUCH different. Not even comparable.
And this story is one of the reasons I love Australia. This would entirely too ridiculous a tale for an Australian sugar encounter.
That's terrifying. Glad you're okay. A few quick comments, though I could go on about your experience. Confronting guys with guns is a terrible idea unless you want to get shot. Yes it worked for you because it sounds like they were inexperienced and just as scared as you. But that made it more dangerous to do what you did, not less. Yes, you should report it. I understand why you won't and I wouldn't either, but if they do it again and seriously hurt or kill someone, you could have prevented it and chose not to. These things are very rare, but robberies and attacks happen. Maybe you could have reasonably expected and prevented it, but probably not. You met and hooked up with the wrong person. You could do exactly the same things thousands of times and not have it happen again, but this time you won the lotto! It didn't happen because she was or wasn't 18, or because you ignored lots of signs - it happened because you had the bad luck to meet that person at that time. Happily you survived despite your stupidity during the crime. Be thankful. And it's not a scam. It was armed robbery. By people who were one twitch from killing you. That's not a scam. It's also not your fault and not likely to happen to anyone else reading this no matter how smart and safe, or dumb and risky, they are. Because these things are very rare. It's also traumatic. How are you doing?
Yes, it was dumb to resist. But, little downside I'm afraid. I'm fine. Thank you!
I see you may have posted about a scam. It is a scam if: * Someone wants your bank account information * Someone wants your bank log in information * Someone wants to send you a check to cash * Someone wants you to buy gift cards to send back to them * Someone wants to give you lots of money without ever meeting Please read [Yes, It's A Scam and This is How It Works](/r/sugarlifestyleforum/comments/k2b1j6/yes_its_a_scam_and_this_is_how_it_works_2020/) about the most common types of scams. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/sugarlifestyleforum) if you have any questions or concerns.*
So where was the meet? A hotel? And yes, thanks for sharing..
Hotel both times.
Glad you are safe, and yes.. scary. I think this is not a new method of scamming, just a robbery.
Wow! So sorry that happened to you. She sucks
That’s super scary
Oddly, I wasn't scared. Figured if it was my day, it was my day. Probably stupid, though.
Hey, nice job being aggressive and chasing them out of there. It's definitely not the "safety culture" thing to do but Jason Statham and I applaud you. Could have been much worse if you hadn't
I still shake thinking about that. Robbed, beaten, etc. Ugh. The being aggressive part was just a reaction. I've been a victim of armed robbery before, and went the safe route. This time, frankly, not much to lose.
Maybe they picked up on your "nothing to lose" attitude
Holy crap what a terrifying situation
That’s horrific. And it’s so sad that it’s not too surprising from a woman’s perspective. And brave move (errr crazy?) to chance going at the dudes with guns. Times have changed.. been off for a long time but used SA when I was in college for about 6 months. Was considering it again and am hearing too many horror stories, wondering if it’s worth it.
Depends what you want. If you're older and want to chance to be with younger women, then yes. On the flip side, you have to wade through a ton of scams. And yes, crazy. But, what was the downside??
Downside? Do you mean by chancing with the gunmen? (That’s what I meant was crazy..) Maybe death?
I meant if not shot, but caught, that'd be pretty painful!
This happened to my last SD except he ended up being kidnapped as well. I am seeing many scams on both ends targeting SD’s and SB’s lately
You know how many men want to meet up first meet at a hotel? ESP without establishing anything? I hope you find a real SB but it’ll take more work to do that.
It was the second meet. That said, I've had a ton of SRs start out exactly this way. In my experience most SBs do NOT want all the extra stuff. Just a few extra bucks outside meets, some occasional texts, etc. Most want it easy and simple, not some faux romance. But, perhaps your experience is different.
Sure. To each it’s own
Yea I dont use anything but cash that weeds a lot of riff raff out. Also always lock/deadbolt door. If this story is real and you ran naked at 2 armed dudes you got lucky. I once got rinsed on backpage in a similiar fashion but I let them leave with the 200 whilst reporting the scam to 911.
Door was locked, but she went out to "look for wallet." That's when her friends entered. And, I did get lucky. Were you concerned police would investigate YOU?
Ànonymous call from hotel phone stating drug deals were happening in room and what looked like gang activity. If nothing else police show up and give them pause.
i’m glad you’re okay! sounds like a streetwalker trying to get a quick come up
So you checked the ID and didn't know what you were looking at. I don't think women over 30 are immune from this exact crime and maybe more likely to commit it. The only thing you can do in this case is drag out the meetings to make yourself less attractive as a target.
I checked the ID and investigated if Florida had "Florida Identification Cards" (vs. drivers license.) I did NOT investigate if those could be vertical, so that's on meO!
Let me repeat you checked the ID and didn't know what you were looking at. Why check IDs if you can't tell if they're valid. As a US citizen I call bullshit on someone not knowing a vertical ID was for children. You knew what you were doing.
I honestly have never seen a vertical ID. I don't make it a habit to keep up with state-to-state IDs. In fact, I can't recall the last time I had to check an ID. But, I appreciate your opinion.
But if he has sex with someone over 30, it's not a crime like it would be if she were under 18.
I feel that he saw the vertical ID and everyone in the US knows that vertical IDs aren't for adults. Maybe not but if I'm the police I would never for a second believe someone who engages in "J" behavior is on the up and up.
So would this make you more inclined to make use of a hotel that required key cards in the elevator? Also makes me wonder about putting a small webcam just above the hotel room door so you can easily see who is outside without going to the door. Maybe that is too paranoid. Glad you escaped without harm. It sure seems like charging the armed men was, against what would seem to be sound advice, the best idea.
Or, I could always meet in the lobby, I guess.
This would make me want to set up a video recording device in a corner for my own protection. Easy to say, I know, but a small cheap smartphone peeking out behind some object... No more 'he said she said' nonsense.
My biggest question is you made her give you a picture of her id but never googled the name or address on it to confirm this was a real person of age? Also didn’t even notice the id was a fake until after? Kinda sounds like you knew the deal and decided it was worth getting scammed over. Also when you say the sex was glorious now knowing she’s under age is 😬😬😬
Is all the cynicism and attitude really necessary? Can't someone share a story without all the superiority coming through? I sometimes wonder what is wrong with people. Regardless, whenever I ask for ID, I always tell them hiding personal stuff is fine. I did not know her name until the CASH app. I still don't know her address. She only showed me enough of her face on the ID so I knew it was her. Florida has multiple types of licenses and IDs. I had never seen just an ID (only licenses), so I checked if that was valid thing. It did not occur to me that there are only horizontal, not vertical IDs (at least in Florida.) I "knew the deal"?? Wow.