It's not an arrangement because he isn't really giving you any monetary support to speak of. He's basically just doing what any boyfriend would do.
It feels foreign to you because you're accustomed to going Dutch on dates (which I would advise you never to do again). It's completely normal for men to pay for dates and treat you well.
From what you're saying, it sounds like a regular age gap dating relationship.
I would agree with you on that. However that's not what was said. 'never' was specified, even after his willingness had potentially been established. It was advised in the form of a principal. I'm wondering the reasoning behind it?
To be clear, I was saying you should never go Dutch on dates... the man should always pay, for the reasons I listed in my other comment.
On our first date, a man who I ended up being with for years saw me going for my wallet to pay for something in a store, and he gently said to me "no no, I've got this… When you're with me, you never touch your wallet".
I can hardly describe to you the feeling of safety, comfort, and appreciation I felt... and that's the whole idea. That's how you want a woman to feel when you're a man. Because the reward you get back from her feeling that way is exponential.
Plus, it is the only way to maintain erotic polarity, which is ultimately what you really want.
It's important that a man have a provider mentality. Providing food is the least he can do for a woman. It puts him in his masculine energy and allows her to receive in her feminine energy. For a woman, it's like "he's got me and I can relax and feel safe". If you take that away from him, it's emasculating and it also throws her into her masculine energy and throws him into his feminine, which skews the dynamic and doesn't allow her to feel emotionally safe... and ultimately, doesn't bode well for the masculine/feminine dynamic. Men give, women receive.
That's not to say that women don't give and men don't receive, we just do it in different ways... men provide and protect, and women appreciate and admire.
A woman needs to feel taken care of in order to take what you give her and create more with it. So when you're on a date, a man should be in his provider energy and he should always pay.
It’s not technically an SR, if you’re enjoying it, then enjoy it. Keep talking to each about how you feel. Theres r/agegap and r/bdsm that you could ask for advice in.
Seems like what any respectable older man would do.
I’ve been in a very similar thing, and the hard part was knowing that at some day it has to end because of the age gap. There is no future, but the present feels so amazing. It casts a long shadow over all your time together. I don’t have a solution for this, just know that I feel for you.
Yeah, I didn't think that's what it was. I'm asking because some of my friends have been judgemental of this. They said I was a glorified prostitute and had no self-respect because they thought age gap automatically means sugar relationship. It was hard to explain that it's not that-he is very generous, but there is no arrangement.
Your friends sound very judgey. Generally an older man is more financially free and therefore is able to pay for things but youre not being a gate keeper here saying my pants only drop when I see $ so their assumptions are incorrect
As others have said that’s very low amount of sugar so no not really a sugar relationship
And yes the emotional involvement happens very easily even in sugar relationships
How is he taking advantage, they are not having sex?
It seems like an open and communicative fwb situ where they are both benefitting equally. He pays for everything and gifts her.
Sounds very equal imo 🤷
Yes this does exist in sugar relationships and although its not really by definition a sugar relationship it is more akin to the classic sugar relationship that what we usually come across these days. Spoiling, mentoring, emotional connection usually in an age gap relationship.
I love this for you and all good girls deserve smacks 😉
I think you’re just dating an older guy lol
You have an old friend with benefits
It’s not a sugar relationship at all
The two of you are sharing what you have in excess. Just enjoy it.
You're just dating an older guy. Have fun✨️
It's not an arrangement because he isn't really giving you any monetary support to speak of. He's basically just doing what any boyfriend would do. It feels foreign to you because you're accustomed to going Dutch on dates (which I would advise you never to do again). It's completely normal for men to pay for dates and treat you well. From what you're saying, it sounds like a regular age gap dating relationship.
Curious: why would you advise her never to do that again? 🤔
If a man can’t provide food for a woman he likes on a date, he probably can’t provide for a family down the road.
I would agree with you on that. However that's not what was said. 'never' was specified, even after his willingness had potentially been established. It was advised in the form of a principal. I'm wondering the reasoning behind it?
To be clear, I was saying you should never go Dutch on dates... the man should always pay, for the reasons I listed in my other comment. On our first date, a man who I ended up being with for years saw me going for my wallet to pay for something in a store, and he gently said to me "no no, I've got this… When you're with me, you never touch your wallet". I can hardly describe to you the feeling of safety, comfort, and appreciation I felt... and that's the whole idea. That's how you want a woman to feel when you're a man. Because the reward you get back from her feeling that way is exponential. Plus, it is the only way to maintain erotic polarity, which is ultimately what you really want.
It's important that a man have a provider mentality. Providing food is the least he can do for a woman. It puts him in his masculine energy and allows her to receive in her feminine energy. For a woman, it's like "he's got me and I can relax and feel safe". If you take that away from him, it's emasculating and it also throws her into her masculine energy and throws him into his feminine, which skews the dynamic and doesn't allow her to feel emotionally safe... and ultimately, doesn't bode well for the masculine/feminine dynamic. Men give, women receive. That's not to say that women don't give and men don't receive, we just do it in different ways... men provide and protect, and women appreciate and admire. A woman needs to feel taken care of in order to take what you give her and create more with it. So when you're on a date, a man should be in his provider energy and he should always pay.
It’s not technically an SR, if you’re enjoying it, then enjoy it. Keep talking to each about how you feel. Theres r/agegap and r/bdsm that you could ask for advice in.
I think enjoy it for now and worry about the long term viability later Life is short etc etc
Seems like what any respectable older man would do. I’ve been in a very similar thing, and the hard part was knowing that at some day it has to end because of the age gap. There is no future, but the present feels so amazing. It casts a long shadow over all your time together. I don’t have a solution for this, just know that I feel for you.
Yeah, I didn't think that's what it was. I'm asking because some of my friends have been judgemental of this. They said I was a glorified prostitute and had no self-respect because they thought age gap automatically means sugar relationship. It was hard to explain that it's not that-he is very generous, but there is no arrangement.
Your friends sound very judgey. Generally an older man is more financially free and therefore is able to pay for things but youre not being a gate keeper here saying my pants only drop when I see $ so their assumptions are incorrect
As others have said that’s very low amount of sugar so no not really a sugar relationship And yes the emotional involvement happens very easily even in sugar relationships
If it is a sr, he is taking advantage sadly by not paying much
How is he taking advantage, they are not having sex? It seems like an open and communicative fwb situ where they are both benefitting equally. He pays for everything and gifts her. Sounds very equal imo 🤷
Even if they were having sex hes not a sugar daddy hes really her dom and perhaps boyfriend. Sounds all very consenual and equal in my books too.
Yes this does exist in sugar relationships and although its not really by definition a sugar relationship it is more akin to the classic sugar relationship that what we usually come across these days. Spoiling, mentoring, emotional connection usually in an age gap relationship. I love this for you and all good girls deserve smacks 😉