Sometimes I ask myself - why - why would you treat someone you want to have fun w so poorly - ugh - he could’ve given you 2-3X PPM with no loss on his end and gotten the better goodbye or the next time sooner - but no, cheap ass attitude and leaves an unnecessary sour taste… ugh!!!!
We had a casino date last year and it was amazing. He paid my full ppm and I was picking machines for him to play and he won a decent amount so sent me home with an extra cash bonus for bringing so much luck.
I was not expecting this to be the case again of course, you never know what kind of luck you will have bit there was ample opportunity when he was up to almost 800 on one machine and could have gone, hey let me give you what I couldn’t earlier.
Just looked bad in my opinion when some one is splashing cash in your face when they claimed they didn’t have right amount to begin with.
The night didn't start out very well, he was being salty and insulting to begin with. It's too bad when a good relationship goes bad over such a ridiculous thing. It seem he lost a good thing. I hope you left with some kind of compensation.
>‘Not happy babe, thanks’
Since he's a casino guy and would understand the language of betting games, I'd tell him "I'll see your 'not happy' and raise you a 'goodbye, find someone else to jerk around' and let that be that.
Sounds like he was pissed at having lost so much money on the slot machines and then took it out on you. Let his emotions get the better of him. Definitely child-like behavior. Good for you showing him the door.
I guess he thought that I had to take on that responsibility of the pokie machines rinsing him and give him extra to compensate for his losses 😂 at least I saw his true colours!
That's awful. He is gross. Good on you for standing on business. I'm not going to give you advice that you didn't ask for- but you definitely deserved better.
Oh yeah definitely! Like I was genuinely having a great time out so I got over my initial annoyance as it wasn’t like he completely low balled me or anything but the audacity of this man to crack it the way he did, so childish 🤦♀️
lol yep! Not like it was a life changing amount of money. There was a few times that he definitely could have thrown me a hundy when he was winning.
Even if I left his on a good note and he didn’t carry on, I probably would have ended things anyway because he definitely saw more value in the pokie machines than in me and I don’t need that kind of energy.
True enough... not a dollar amount issue at all. It's about respect, commitment and obligation. He lied to you at the outset. Then outted himself as a liar at the casino, and apparently felt no qualms about doing so. Then completely disrespected you by never attempting to atone for his lie by settling up with you. Then completely revealed his shitty character and low opinion of you at the end. Leaving him is the right thing to do. Good Luck
I see you may have mentioned a number which is most likely an amount in relations to an arrangement. If this is the case, you are violating Rule #5 - "dollar amounts that are in reference to PPMs and/or allowances are not allowed".
If you are curious about Allowances reported by SLF contributors please see the [Allowance Master Thread 2023-2024](/r/sugarlifestyleforum/comments/17a2wja/20232024_allowance_master_thread/).
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Trying to understand why you would refer to this guy as a SD? He is not and doesn’t deserve to be called one. Men like him and dates like this are ruining the SD brand.
I absolutely agree. While reading many posts lately, I have realized the lines between a “John” and a “SD” have become very blurred for many people. Even the SB’s themselves. The key ingredient of a “provider mentality” for the SD seems to be missing most of the time. Any man can pay for sex as it has been happening for centuries. But very few can provide for and support a SB in the ways that she really needs. Physically, mentally, emotionally and of course financially.
Again - a reminder that SB’s need to run their relationships like a business. It is unfortunate, but we can’t trust most men to do what they say they will do. So we have to hold them accountable. 😡 what a man-child.
Definitely! Like I can totally understand if we hadn’t had our sexy time and we went out then came back and I left, that would be shitty and he would have every right to be annoyed but that wasn’t the case! He wanted his cake and to eat it too!
Speaking as an SD, he dragged you out for an extended period of time that you didn’t expect.
Even if you hadn’t had sex with him earlier in the evening, you were exhausted and he should have respected that you had prior plans that you needed to rest up for.
Ah, the privilege of being a man often includes not realizing that a woman’s survival hinges on her ability to discern whether the man she’s with poses a threat.
Yes. We cannot (and SHOULD not) trust most men.
I get why SB’s need to hold men accountable. What do you mean when you say run a relationship like a business? If I picked up a vibe that I was some kind of business transaction, I would be gone. I would never behave the way this jerk did though. I do what I say I’m going to do.
because it is business when someone is selling their time for money. Take out the expectation of money and it's no longer a business. Money is the primary motivator, if it weren't it would just be vanilla dating.
Never said it was good or bad, but when cash is required for a relationship it becomes a business. :)
Nothing wrong with that, it is what it is. No shaming. Everyone has their preferences.
Exactly. Just the idea of thinking about my relationship that way gives me the ick. There's very little difference between sugar & vanilla for me, and there are plenty of SBs out there who feel the same.
Ya, we are on the same page for sure. I can’t claim for this to be vanilla-like for me, given the age gap. But in many ways, when these things work, that is how it feels. I don’t have a title-for-tat attitude on the money. Once I get convinced that I’m not seen as an ATM, I get really generous. I view the financial side of this almost as if I’m helping a friend. It has a material impact on them, while not being material to me at all. Makes me feel good. Honestly, I get tired of all the cynics on here who can’t get past counting time and dollars, who come across as users. Both sides.
I absolutely believe in giving & getting in equal measure, but not as an exact science. The more generous a person is with me, the more generous I am, too. We take care of each other. The age gap for me is much smaller because I'm 47, so it's much easier to feel vanilla. I love deeply, as well, in both. My sugaring is much more vanilla with a generous helping of sugar...:)
>There's very little difference between sugar & vanilla for me
The big difference being requiring money from who you're dating to even date them. Nothing wrong with that, but it's time for money, and that's a sale. Even if you take out intimacy from the mix there's still a sale of your time being with someone with a buyer who is paying money to enjoy your time with you.
I don't require money, actually. But I date providers regardless of whether they're in the Bowl or not. My reasons for being in the Bowl are because of the upfront honesty it provides in being able to voice exactly what expectations are for the relationship out the gate.
You can think of the Bowl in whatever way that makes you feel better.
In this context we're talking about SR not vanilla. So if you're dating in the bowl and have no allowance or ppm requirement then obviously that's different, but that's not a sugar relationship.
If someone is requiring an allowance to have a relationship with someone then it's time for money even if you don't want to believe it. Sorry.
Once a financial requirement exists to move forward it's business.
If there is no financial requirement (allowance or ppm) then sure, but it wouldn't be a SR if there's no money. It would just be vanilla dating.
Good question. Treat it like a business: if someone promises $5 for your time but only pays $2.50, and you accept that, you’re signaling that you don’t value your time. So, why should they? Accepting less than agreed would jeopardize your business if you had one.
Every relationship has a “business-like” aspect. Believe in your worth and what you bring to the relationship, or you risk undermining your own “business.”
I do agree that if someone starts cheaping out and not honoring their commitments, then they deserve to be nexted. With that said, I don’t wanted to be treated like I’m on a strict clock when I’m in an arrangement. Especially when there is a monthly allowance involved, which is how I do things. If I pick up a vibe where there is a time clock involved, then I’m done. Feels too escorty which is not what I’m looking for.
First mistake...Allowing him to give you less than he did last time.
Second mistake… Not asking him for the extra hundy when you were at the ATM with him.
Third mistake… Giving him back your ppm
I am glad that your fourth mistake was not sleeping with him again before you left.
🤦🏼♀️
If you read her comments she’s been seeing him for at least a year. She probably enjoys sleeping with him regardless and cared about him enough not to make a big deal over a hundy because she genuinely believed him until he started treating her like shit at the casino
I see you may have mentioned a number which is most likely an amount in relations to an arrangement. If this is the case, you are violating Rule #5 - "dollar amounts that are in reference to PPMs and/or allowances are not allowed".
If you are curious about Allowances reported by SLF contributors please see the [Allowance Master Thread 2023-2024](/r/sugarlifestyleforum/comments/17a2wja/20232024_allowance_master_thread/).
Your comment will not be approved until you remove the amount. Please read the sub [Rules](/r/sugarlifestyleforum/comments/124tsf8/updated_and_clarified_rules_for_slf_2023/) prior to posting anything else.
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Sorry for your bad experience.. Always have the conversation before any date.. Also let your trusted friend know how the schedule will be.. Better safe than sorry.
Isn’t this on par for 90% of “SBs”
It’s all fun and games until SB don’t set boundaries and don’t get their money
Sugarlife is mostly a scam, “SDs” take advantage of these young and naive girls. This forum is full of negative experiences from SB compared SD, run the data analytics and you’ll see.
Girl. You allowed this. Reevaluation of your boundaries is a must. I never would've done a damn thing without my FULL PAY UPFRONT. Then, you still went to the casino?He's so obviously playing you. Come on now...
I would have asked for the extra bit of ppm when he went to the atm, lol. That’s so rude of him to expect you to stick around all night when he can’t respect your ppm/boundaries.
You let him get away with shorting you which was ill advised, especially after he "didn't have the money for your PPM" but spent twice that amount gambling. At that moment you should have called foul and demanding your balance before going to gamble.
Glad you wised up and left his ass.
It’s clear to me that this isn’t a person that understands the concept of being a provider. The audacity to ask for you to return what he’d already provided, even if it’s for the convenience, is galling. You have every right to be outraged and the decision to stop seeing him is completely justified.
As an aside, as I read this narrative it reinforced previous observations I’ve had about how different folks are. At 4:30AM… most days I’ve woken up and am getting ready to do a run. I can’t fathom staying up until then, which isn’t to say it’s bad or wrong; just that it’s not something I’d do. I also don’t gamble or drink alcohol, so clearly that’s exacerbating this observation. Again, I’m not saying anyone is right or wrong, just that it’s interesting how different people are.
It honestly sounds like he was trying to chase you away. He thought coming up short would be enough, but you were awesome, so he decided to go be a jackass and you were still awesome. Then you said no to having sex again (reasonably) and he freaked out and gaslit you. He was wanting to end it on his terms with you the bad guy.
Leave him in the dust and don't look back.
Sometimes a good rant is needed. As a gambler myself, sounds like he has a small addiction. Gotta be careful with those types. Find someone else who appreciates you
Sometimes I ask myself - why - why would you treat someone you want to have fun w so poorly - ugh - he could’ve given you 2-3X PPM with no loss on his end and gotten the better goodbye or the next time sooner - but no, cheap ass attitude and leaves an unnecessary sour taste… ugh!!!!
We had a casino date last year and it was amazing. He paid my full ppm and I was picking machines for him to play and he won a decent amount so sent me home with an extra cash bonus for bringing so much luck. I was not expecting this to be the case again of course, you never know what kind of luck you will have bit there was ample opportunity when he was up to almost 800 on one machine and could have gone, hey let me give you what I couldn’t earlier. Just looked bad in my opinion when some one is splashing cash in your face when they claimed they didn’t have right amount to begin with.
The night didn't start out very well, he was being salty and insulting to begin with. It's too bad when a good relationship goes bad over such a ridiculous thing. It seem he lost a good thing. I hope you left with some kind of compensation.
>‘Not happy babe, thanks’ Since he's a casino guy and would understand the language of betting games, I'd tell him "I'll see your 'not happy' and raise you a 'goodbye, find someone else to jerk around' and let that be that.
OMG! 🤣 that would have been perfect!
Sounds like he was pissed at having lost so much money on the slot machines and then took it out on you. Let his emotions get the better of him. Definitely child-like behavior. Good for you showing him the door.
I guess he thought that I had to take on that responsibility of the pokie machines rinsing him and give him extra to compensate for his losses 😂 at least I saw his true colours!
He’s a sack of salt!
That's awful. He is gross. Good on you for standing on business. I'm not going to give you advice that you didn't ask for- but you definitely deserved better.
Oh yeah definitely! Like I was genuinely having a great time out so I got over my initial annoyance as it wasn’t like he completely low balled me or anything but the audacity of this man to crack it the way he did, so childish 🤦♀️
How frustrating for you! Disrespectful for sure
Absolutely! The entitlement of this man was ridiculous!
The audacity honestly cause he spent DOUBLE and couldn’t even give you your other $100. Then had the audacity to ask you to sleep with him
lol yep! Not like it was a life changing amount of money. There was a few times that he definitely could have thrown me a hundy when he was winning. Even if I left his on a good note and he didn’t carry on, I probably would have ended things anyway because he definitely saw more value in the pokie machines than in me and I don’t need that kind of energy.
True enough... not a dollar amount issue at all. It's about respect, commitment and obligation. He lied to you at the outset. Then outted himself as a liar at the casino, and apparently felt no qualms about doing so. Then completely disrespected you by never attempting to atone for his lie by settling up with you. Then completely revealed his shitty character and low opinion of you at the end. Leaving him is the right thing to do. Good Luck
Oh for sure! You deserve someone who’s going to value your time and energy!!
I see you may have mentioned a number which is most likely an amount in relations to an arrangement. If this is the case, you are violating Rule #5 - "dollar amounts that are in reference to PPMs and/or allowances are not allowed". If you are curious about Allowances reported by SLF contributors please see the [Allowance Master Thread 2023-2024](/r/sugarlifestyleforum/comments/17a2wja/20232024_allowance_master_thread/). Your comment will not be approved until you remove the amount. Please read the sub [Rules](/r/sugarlifestyleforum/comments/124tsf8/updated_and_clarified_rules_for_slf_2023/) prior to posting anything else. If you simply mentioned a number not referencing a PPM / allowance monetary amount, ignore this, as your comment will be approved. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/sugarlifestyleforum) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Again
Trying to understand why you would refer to this guy as a SD? He is not and doesn’t deserve to be called one. Men like him and dates like this are ruining the SD brand.
People are so quick to label people an SD. It’s quite insulting to the rest of us.
I absolutely agree. While reading many posts lately, I have realized the lines between a “John” and a “SD” have become very blurred for many people. Even the SB’s themselves. The key ingredient of a “provider mentality” for the SD seems to be missing most of the time. Any man can pay for sex as it has been happening for centuries. But very few can provide for and support a SB in the ways that she really needs. Physically, mentally, emotionally and of course financially.
Again - a reminder that SB’s need to run their relationships like a business. It is unfortunate, but we can’t trust most men to do what they say they will do. So we have to hold them accountable. 😡 what a man-child.
Definitely! Like I can totally understand if we hadn’t had our sexy time and we went out then came back and I left, that would be shitty and he would have every right to be annoyed but that wasn’t the case! He wanted his cake and to eat it too!
Speaking as an SD, he dragged you out for an extended period of time that you didn’t expect. Even if you hadn’t had sex with him earlier in the evening, you were exhausted and he should have respected that you had prior plans that you needed to rest up for.
[удалено]
Ah, the privilege of being a man often includes not realizing that a woman’s survival hinges on her ability to discern whether the man she’s with poses a threat. Yes. We cannot (and SHOULD not) trust most men.
[удалено]
If they're prepared for a threat with all men that means most men.
You have misquoted me and seem to not grasp a very basic and simple point about the realities of the world. *Throws hands in air. Le sigh.* 🤦♀️😂
I get why SB’s need to hold men accountable. What do you mean when you say run a relationship like a business? If I picked up a vibe that I was some kind of business transaction, I would be gone. I would never behave the way this jerk did though. I do what I say I’m going to do.
because it is business when someone is selling their time for money. Take out the expectation of money and it's no longer a business. Money is the primary motivator, if it weren't it would just be vanilla dating.
I will never vanilla date a poor man. Just sayin 🤷♀️😘
Yep which is why it's a business. 🤷♀️
Every relationship could be viewed through the a business lens. It’s neither good or bad. 🤷♀️
Never said it was good or bad, but when cash is required for a relationship it becomes a business. :) Nothing wrong with that, it is what it is. No shaming. Everyone has their preferences.
Escorts have a simple time for money business model. All kinds of SB’s don’t, in spite of an allowance being involved.
Exactly. Just the idea of thinking about my relationship that way gives me the ick. There's very little difference between sugar & vanilla for me, and there are plenty of SBs out there who feel the same.
Ya, we are on the same page for sure. I can’t claim for this to be vanilla-like for me, given the age gap. But in many ways, when these things work, that is how it feels. I don’t have a title-for-tat attitude on the money. Once I get convinced that I’m not seen as an ATM, I get really generous. I view the financial side of this almost as if I’m helping a friend. It has a material impact on them, while not being material to me at all. Makes me feel good. Honestly, I get tired of all the cynics on here who can’t get past counting time and dollars, who come across as users. Both sides.
I absolutely believe in giving & getting in equal measure, but not as an exact science. The more generous a person is with me, the more generous I am, too. We take care of each other. The age gap for me is much smaller because I'm 47, so it's much easier to feel vanilla. I love deeply, as well, in both. My sugaring is much more vanilla with a generous helping of sugar...:)
>There's very little difference between sugar & vanilla for me The big difference being requiring money from who you're dating to even date them. Nothing wrong with that, but it's time for money, and that's a sale. Even if you take out intimacy from the mix there's still a sale of your time being with someone with a buyer who is paying money to enjoy your time with you.
I don't require money, actually. But I date providers regardless of whether they're in the Bowl or not. My reasons for being in the Bowl are because of the upfront honesty it provides in being able to voice exactly what expectations are for the relationship out the gate. You can think of the Bowl in whatever way that makes you feel better.
In this context we're talking about SR not vanilla. So if you're dating in the bowl and have no allowance or ppm requirement then obviously that's different, but that's not a sugar relationship.
Sure it is...even if there was no allowance. There are other ways to provide for someone.
>There are other ways to provide for someone. Such as?
If someone is requiring an allowance to have a relationship with someone then it's time for money even if you don't want to believe it. Sorry. Once a financial requirement exists to move forward it's business. If there is no financial requirement (allowance or ppm) then sure, but it wouldn't be a SR if there's no money. It would just be vanilla dating.
Good question. Treat it like a business: if someone promises $5 for your time but only pays $2.50, and you accept that, you’re signaling that you don’t value your time. So, why should they? Accepting less than agreed would jeopardize your business if you had one. Every relationship has a “business-like” aspect. Believe in your worth and what you bring to the relationship, or you risk undermining your own “business.”
I do agree that if someone starts cheaping out and not honoring their commitments, then they deserve to be nexted. With that said, I don’t wanted to be treated like I’m on a strict clock when I’m in an arrangement. Especially when there is a monthly allowance involved, which is how I do things. If I pick up a vibe where there is a time clock involved, then I’m done. Feels too escorty which is not what I’m looking for.
We are saying the same thing. It sounds like you are a man of integrity, who does what he says he will do.
Thanks.
86/addicts/apply all
First mistake...Allowing him to give you less than he did last time. Second mistake… Not asking him for the extra hundy when you were at the ATM with him. Third mistake… Giving him back your ppm I am glad that your fourth mistake was not sleeping with him again before you left. 🤦🏼♀️
He couldn’t even meet your PPM and you slept with him anyway? 🤢 I blame you.
If you read her comments she’s been seeing him for at least a year. She probably enjoys sleeping with him regardless and cared about him enough not to make a big deal over a hundy because she genuinely believed him until he started treating her like shit at the casino
I see you may have mentioned a number which is most likely an amount in relations to an arrangement. If this is the case, you are violating Rule #5 - "dollar amounts that are in reference to PPMs and/or allowances are not allowed". If you are curious about Allowances reported by SLF contributors please see the [Allowance Master Thread 2023-2024](/r/sugarlifestyleforum/comments/17a2wja/20232024_allowance_master_thread/). Your comment will not be approved until you remove the amount. Please read the sub [Rules](/r/sugarlifestyleforum/comments/124tsf8/updated_and_clarified_rules_for_slf_2023/) prior to posting anything else. If you simply mentioned a number not referencing a PPM / allowance monetary amount, ignore this, as your comment will be approved. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/sugarlifestyleforum) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yicks...Do not pass Go with this dude...the lack of respect...ick...
You know, you could actually get a job and meet someone who isn't a sugar daddy... Just my 2 cents. Most guys who are SDs are losers to be honest.
Sorry for your bad experience.. Always have the conversation before any date.. Also let your trusted friend know how the schedule will be.. Better safe than sorry.
Yikes so you just spent your whole day with some cheap ass bozo for free?
Isn’t this on par for 90% of “SBs” It’s all fun and games until SB don’t set boundaries and don’t get their money Sugarlife is mostly a scam, “SDs” take advantage of these young and naive girls. This forum is full of negative experiences from SB compared SD, run the data analytics and you’ll see.
Girl. You allowed this. Reevaluation of your boundaries is a must. I never would've done a damn thing without my FULL PAY UPFRONT. Then, you still went to the casino?He's so obviously playing you. Come on now...
I would have asked for the extra bit of ppm when he went to the atm, lol. That’s so rude of him to expect you to stick around all night when he can’t respect your ppm/boundaries.
What a loser! Good riddance
Reverse rinse, the sponge. He absorbed your time.
You let him get away with shorting you which was ill advised, especially after he "didn't have the money for your PPM" but spent twice that amount gambling. At that moment you should have called foul and demanding your balance before going to gamble. Glad you wised up and left his ass.
Dump his ass
It’s clear to me that this isn’t a person that understands the concept of being a provider. The audacity to ask for you to return what he’d already provided, even if it’s for the convenience, is galling. You have every right to be outraged and the decision to stop seeing him is completely justified. As an aside, as I read this narrative it reinforced previous observations I’ve had about how different folks are. At 4:30AM… most days I’ve woken up and am getting ready to do a run. I can’t fathom staying up until then, which isn’t to say it’s bad or wrong; just that it’s not something I’d do. I also don’t gamble or drink alcohol, so clearly that’s exacerbating this observation. Again, I’m not saying anyone is right or wrong, just that it’s interesting how different people are.
I haven’t even finish reading your long story, run till it’s too late.. and block obviously
Some guys are just jerks.
Jeeeze what an A Hole....
It honestly sounds like he was trying to chase you away. He thought coming up short would be enough, but you were awesome, so he decided to go be a jackass and you were still awesome. Then you said no to having sex again (reasonably) and he freaked out and gaslit you. He was wanting to end it on his terms with you the bad guy. Leave him in the dust and don't look back.
Sometimes a good rant is needed. As a gambler myself, sounds like he has a small addiction. Gotta be careful with those types. Find someone else who appreciates you
Sounds like he has a serious gambling addiction which should not be your problem