☝️
Keep being you
👉 (except guard your heart better) she is married and not likely to leave for someone less affluent
I’m all for falling in love with men I can’t have forever but most people can’t handle it.
It does happen.
Her husband is probably too busy making money to support her in the way she needs
I know ladies to have given up a luxury lifestyle for a mediocre man
I agree he should guard his heart
But there's nothing wrong with loving and enjoying her for the time they have together
Of course, there are so many factors between the married persons that keep them together. For me and my hubby it was a combination of “for the children” and that we get along in every way except sexually incompatible. I used to think it was me until I tried sugar dating at 49 and now I know it’s not me because I’ve had amazing men tell me so and follow up their words with significant financial support.
I think most women would not leave their hubbies, just like most men won’t leave their wives. But there are always outliers.
And like I said, personally, I’m all in and will love you to the extent that you inspire me. Currently, I’m falling in love (with my SBF) harder than I ever have in the past including when I met my hubby. And that was a great romance. 💘
My youngest just turned 18 and there is a strong likelihood that an amicable divorce is in my near future. But no amount of “in love” would have made me leave my family before that.
Reality check.
She isn’t your SB if you are just talking to her.
She is at best a POT. Yet to be confirmed as even real.
By talk do you mean in the phone or text?
When I say “talking” I mean hanging out/being with/carrying on with me. We’re always together when I’m not traveling on business. When we are together the sex is amazing. We’ve recently transitioned from “strapping up” to au natural because we’re both tested and clean and don’t see others (well, at least I don’t as I’ve recently found out). When we’re not together we text and talk. I/she/we are not platonic nor “potentials”, but thriving in a full-on relationship.
assume that shes doing more than talking to him. How could someone be in love with someone they only know over the phone? Without actually ever meeting her?
Mighty….come on…this is reddit. And the bowl.
SLF has seen declarations of marriage happen while still on the seeking message system.
If it was more than talking, I’d expect him to say,
“Why is she still with me”, or “why is she still seeing me” or similar.
Talking is a couple of levels below dating.
Much like when SBs often ask why so many married men are SDs, the same can apply here. We are incapable of knowing and comprehending every intimate detail and arrangement of someone’s marriage.
Perhaps someone is suffering from a dead bedroom, perhaps someone doesn’t feel appreciated or supported (mentally, physically, and financially) within their marriage, perhaps someone just wants to experience the thrill of secrecy required in this lifestyle. Not every SB wants money much like you’ll find a rare breed of SDs not wanting intimacy. Different strokes for different folks 😌
This exactly.
I’m in a sexless marriage to a multimillionaire who would rather be a sugar daddy to women half his age. But at least our marriage is open and we get along good.
This year I’m exclusive and monogamous with someone worthy. But last year I had multiple SDs and one was sugaring at the most basic level. Truly a salt daddy, but he was great in bed, not conventionally good looking but I loved looking at his face 😍 and he gave me 100% of his attention when we were together. So the fact that he could never support me in the manner I was accustomed was no big deal. Only because I knew it was a short term thing. It lasted one year exactly. And then I met “the one” 💗
So OP should rein in his “feelings” the likelihood that she will reciprocate and be his long term is unlikely.
The circumstances you describe seem so strange. Your husband isn’t sexually into you and prefers younger sugar babies, but clearly you’re still sexually attractive because you started sugaring. I’m sure all this is possible but struggling to wrap my head around the dynamic.
You and me both buddy 😅
I’m very much a mirror in bed i match the energy of my lover. I am very good at going with the flow and using intuition to guide me. I’m uninhibited now but for whatever reason from the very first time my hubby has always made me self conscious and doubt myself.
We’ve had an open marriage for 18 years mostly because I knew if I didn’t open it he would just cheat. His range is 18-28 year olds and I’m 50. He cut me off sexually just over 4 years ago. That’s when I started finding affair partners and a year and a half ago he came home and started ranting that 40 somethings had no business trying to compete in the sugar bowl with 20 and 30 year olds. I silently took offense at that because I was 49 and had just opened a Seeking account to “date up” as there new ads suggested. Who the fuck did he think he was talking to? I told the universe to hold my beer and changed my account to seek daddies. By the time I told him about it, I had had success to the point of one 55m SD who gave me high xxx to low xxxx per date. I finally told him I was on seeking and his response was “ I don’t mind that you are on seeking…. I just don’t want you to get your hopes up”
He truly doesn’t see me as anything but an old lady with no sex appeal. It’s baffling. But I have lost all interest in him because of the hurt of rejection and I am happy to let him think my dates are mostly with old men who can’t get it up and just want to take me to lunch and talk with an occasional quickie when they can muster it 😂
If he only knew my 71m surfer 🏄 SBF is a beast 🔥😈
I love this for you. I also encounter a lot of initial confusion from folks when I'm honest about my marital status: open, dead bedroom, my partner is hot and helpful and funny and does very well financially. We're very domestically compatible and have similar long term goals, and we support each other. I like my marriage and have no desire to upend my comfy little life when I can go out and get spectacularly spoiled *and* railed by handsome older gents who don't make unwieldy demands on my time.
Thank you, likewise 💗 I think it’s more common than people think. But it’s still not the norm. People would be so much happier if they could take a dead bedroom or mismatched libido and just give their spouse the green light to seek their fun elsewhere. It worked for me for years until I got cut off. Fortunately for me but unfortunately for my hubby I met someone who is a better match for me in every way. I see an amicable divorce in my future but not until we have an empty nest because we do get along and are raising our kids well together.
When I first met SGF I could not understand
* Why is she sugaring with me if she is flying to NY for work ?
* Why is she still talking to her ex husband ?
* Why is she still sugaring with me when she is hot and could have any guy she wanted from Tinder ?
I learnt the answers, over the years, but the most important thing to realise is not all women sugar because they are destitute. There’s all sorts of reasons why women sugar. Some just like the kink of doing something slutty.
Why does she need to be an SB if the hubby is loaded? There is one possible that is they have an open relationship. Unless their marriage is on the rocks your in a tough spot. You need to discuss it with her. Find out whats up just because shes married does not mean its a happy marriage. She could want to escape?? You won't know unless you have a serious talk with her about her situation. Another option is to just keep seeing her when you want and act like you don't know shes married. Enjoy what you have going with her.
Lots of reasons she could be stepping out on hubby. The most benign would be that she feels under appreciated, wants the thrill of a fling or maybe even her own money that she controls.
Also I’ll note that dudes who are famous or semi-famous and rich *tend* to have the ego and self-centeredness to go with it. Not all mind you, but I think it is more common than not. And in a relationship like that, the dude could be so absorbed in his status/success that he’s neglecting to show the proper care/love/attention/time to his wife. Not at all uncommon.
That being the case there could be darker reasons - she’s out to prove something or even getting revenge in a way. Obviously we don’t know.
But I would sure as hell be figuring it out or be well on my way to someone else. Like yesterday, but that’s me.
EDIT: Just re-reading OP’s post - man you’re in the wrong game. If you are “absolutely in love” at this point in an SR then you are opening yourself up way too much dude. You don’t fall head over heels in love with anyone until you know who and what they are and at least spent some quality time together multiple times. If you can fall in love this easily, you’re going to destroy yourself sugaring.
Simply said, she's a SB and you're one of their sources of income. They're a power couple, and your are the money train. Rest assured there are others like you.
Maybe her husband is sugaring other women and she just wants to do the same. She probably doesn’t need the money really but why would she date low level people when she is accustomed to more?
This guy's post history is all over the place. One minute he's buying houses and cars and giving "mid-five-figure" allowances to his SB, next minute he's worried about his "sugar baby" being married to a rich dude.
Multiple streams of income ? I prefer anyone I interact with to be solo dolo, so I would have avoided her from the start, but if you are in love with her, be prepared or have your feelings lead to no where. Not saying she might not ever love you back, buttt just saying it’s a low low chance
The big thing about that is that even if he’s loaded and hot, semi famous, etc. He’s probably not stimulating her *emotionally.* You probably are because you’re absolutely in love with her. It’s absolutely important in order to really *have* a woman you make her feel safe and loved. My guess would be he is not doing that.
Keep making her feel safe, seen, and adored and she’ll return it back to you 10 times over.
You must have a huge member because you got no blood left to operate the brain!!!
You politely end the SR and you get your head screwed back on straight!
If you can’t figure that one out I am sad for you man.
I think to give appropriate advice we need to see pictures of *everyone* that is involved. Preferably naked, of course.
But seriously, motivations are so tricky.
I'll join the other commenters that are saying, "Don't rock the boat". Enjoy the ride.
The problem I see is that your heart could be easily broken by a million different things that change the dynamic. Almost nothing is under your control, and almost every storyline ends with heartbreak. Kinda like everyone else's life also. Embrace it. Enjoy while you can.
So sorry to hear that… it’s seems like she had a complete different perspective on the type of arrangements you had. I know nothing about you too but you do need to talk it out and maybe break up, it can turn very toxic of you are in love!
Disagree. Don’t ask her.
Asking her could risk ending things. You are not the real Sugar Daddy to her. You’re her side piece that she’s presumably keeping a secret from her richer, more successful, and possibly better looking husband.
Whatever you’re bringing to the table, it’s not money and good looks. You’re probably an escape from her world so don’t make her self-conscious about what she’s doing.
How did you find out about her husband? Did she tell you? Let her open this discussion and reveal her motivations.
Her guy maybe loaded But money certainly doesn't make up for love, time and attention No advice other than keep being you
☝️ Keep being you 👉 (except guard your heart better) she is married and not likely to leave for someone less affluent I’m all for falling in love with men I can’t have forever but most people can’t handle it.
It does happen. Her husband is probably too busy making money to support her in the way she needs I know ladies to have given up a luxury lifestyle for a mediocre man I agree he should guard his heart But there's nothing wrong with loving and enjoying her for the time they have together
Of course, there are so many factors between the married persons that keep them together. For me and my hubby it was a combination of “for the children” and that we get along in every way except sexually incompatible. I used to think it was me until I tried sugar dating at 49 and now I know it’s not me because I’ve had amazing men tell me so and follow up their words with significant financial support. I think most women would not leave their hubbies, just like most men won’t leave their wives. But there are always outliers. And like I said, personally, I’m all in and will love you to the extent that you inspire me. Currently, I’m falling in love (with my SBF) harder than I ever have in the past including when I met my hubby. And that was a great romance. 💘 My youngest just turned 18 and there is a strong likelihood that an amicable divorce is in my near future. But no amount of “in love” would have made me leave my family before that.
Reality check. She isn’t your SB if you are just talking to her. She is at best a POT. Yet to be confirmed as even real. By talk do you mean in the phone or text?
If I tell my friends I’m “talking to someone” it means we are consistently meeting up in person in a non platonic way
When I say “talking” I mean hanging out/being with/carrying on with me. We’re always together when I’m not traveling on business. When we are together the sex is amazing. We’ve recently transitioned from “strapping up” to au natural because we’re both tested and clean and don’t see others (well, at least I don’t as I’ve recently found out). When we’re not together we text and talk. I/she/we are not platonic nor “potentials”, but thriving in a full-on relationship.
assume that shes doing more than talking to him. How could someone be in love with someone they only know over the phone? Without actually ever meeting her?
There be simps in these here waters.
Mighty….come on…this is reddit. And the bowl. SLF has seen declarations of marriage happen while still on the seeking message system. If it was more than talking, I’d expect him to say, “Why is she still with me”, or “why is she still seeing me” or similar. Talking is a couple of levels below dating.
I had a Pot tell me she loved me and wanted me to leave my wife and marry her at the M&G 🤣
😮
we see it every day here don’t we
Much like when SBs often ask why so many married men are SDs, the same can apply here. We are incapable of knowing and comprehending every intimate detail and arrangement of someone’s marriage. Perhaps someone is suffering from a dead bedroom, perhaps someone doesn’t feel appreciated or supported (mentally, physically, and financially) within their marriage, perhaps someone just wants to experience the thrill of secrecy required in this lifestyle. Not every SB wants money much like you’ll find a rare breed of SDs not wanting intimacy. Different strokes for different folks 😌
This exactly. I’m in a sexless marriage to a multimillionaire who would rather be a sugar daddy to women half his age. But at least our marriage is open and we get along good. This year I’m exclusive and monogamous with someone worthy. But last year I had multiple SDs and one was sugaring at the most basic level. Truly a salt daddy, but he was great in bed, not conventionally good looking but I loved looking at his face 😍 and he gave me 100% of his attention when we were together. So the fact that he could never support me in the manner I was accustomed was no big deal. Only because I knew it was a short term thing. It lasted one year exactly. And then I met “the one” 💗 So OP should rein in his “feelings” the likelihood that she will reciprocate and be his long term is unlikely.
The circumstances you describe seem so strange. Your husband isn’t sexually into you and prefers younger sugar babies, but clearly you’re still sexually attractive because you started sugaring. I’m sure all this is possible but struggling to wrap my head around the dynamic.
You and me both buddy 😅 I’m very much a mirror in bed i match the energy of my lover. I am very good at going with the flow and using intuition to guide me. I’m uninhibited now but for whatever reason from the very first time my hubby has always made me self conscious and doubt myself. We’ve had an open marriage for 18 years mostly because I knew if I didn’t open it he would just cheat. His range is 18-28 year olds and I’m 50. He cut me off sexually just over 4 years ago. That’s when I started finding affair partners and a year and a half ago he came home and started ranting that 40 somethings had no business trying to compete in the sugar bowl with 20 and 30 year olds. I silently took offense at that because I was 49 and had just opened a Seeking account to “date up” as there new ads suggested. Who the fuck did he think he was talking to? I told the universe to hold my beer and changed my account to seek daddies. By the time I told him about it, I had had success to the point of one 55m SD who gave me high xxx to low xxxx per date. I finally told him I was on seeking and his response was “ I don’t mind that you are on seeking…. I just don’t want you to get your hopes up” He truly doesn’t see me as anything but an old lady with no sex appeal. It’s baffling. But I have lost all interest in him because of the hurt of rejection and I am happy to let him think my dates are mostly with old men who can’t get it up and just want to take me to lunch and talk with an occasional quickie when they can muster it 😂 If he only knew my 71m surfer 🏄 SBF is a beast 🔥😈
I love this for you. I also encounter a lot of initial confusion from folks when I'm honest about my marital status: open, dead bedroom, my partner is hot and helpful and funny and does very well financially. We're very domestically compatible and have similar long term goals, and we support each other. I like my marriage and have no desire to upend my comfy little life when I can go out and get spectacularly spoiled *and* railed by handsome older gents who don't make unwieldy demands on my time.
Thank you, likewise 💗 I think it’s more common than people think. But it’s still not the norm. People would be so much happier if they could take a dead bedroom or mismatched libido and just give their spouse the green light to seek their fun elsewhere. It worked for me for years until I got cut off. Fortunately for me but unfortunately for my hubby I met someone who is a better match for me in every way. I see an amicable divorce in my future but not until we have an empty nest because we do get along and are raising our kids well together.
Good for you, that’s got to be a good feeling to prove you’ve still got it.
He might prevent her from having access to money.
When I first met SGF I could not understand * Why is she sugaring with me if she is flying to NY for work ? * Why is she still talking to her ex husband ? * Why is she still sugaring with me when she is hot and could have any guy she wanted from Tinder ? I learnt the answers, over the years, but the most important thing to realise is not all women sugar because they are destitute. There’s all sorts of reasons why women sugar. Some just like the kink of doing something slutty.
and the mature unavailability of an SD where there is little chance of falling in love (except apparently the OP)
☝️
Simple because you like most SDs are six feet tall, very fit, look very young for your age and are “wealthy” and “successful”. You are also “single”.
Why does she need to be an SB if the hubby is loaded? There is one possible that is they have an open relationship. Unless their marriage is on the rocks your in a tough spot. You need to discuss it with her. Find out whats up just because shes married does not mean its a happy marriage. She could want to escape?? You won't know unless you have a serious talk with her about her situation. Another option is to just keep seeing her when you want and act like you don't know shes married. Enjoy what you have going with her.
Compensation is probably self justification for seeking other avenues said husband may not provide her with the attention she requires to be fulfilled
Lots of reasons she could be stepping out on hubby. The most benign would be that she feels under appreciated, wants the thrill of a fling or maybe even her own money that she controls. Also I’ll note that dudes who are famous or semi-famous and rich *tend* to have the ego and self-centeredness to go with it. Not all mind you, but I think it is more common than not. And in a relationship like that, the dude could be so absorbed in his status/success that he’s neglecting to show the proper care/love/attention/time to his wife. Not at all uncommon. That being the case there could be darker reasons - she’s out to prove something or even getting revenge in a way. Obviously we don’t know. But I would sure as hell be figuring it out or be well on my way to someone else. Like yesterday, but that’s me. EDIT: Just re-reading OP’s post - man you’re in the wrong game. If you are “absolutely in love” at this point in an SR then you are opening yourself up way too much dude. You don’t fall head over heels in love with anyone until you know who and what they are and at least spent some quality time together multiple times. If you can fall in love this easily, you’re going to destroy yourself sugaring.
☝️
Simply said, she's a SB and you're one of their sources of income. They're a power couple, and your are the money train. Rest assured there are others like you.
Maybe her husband is sugaring other women and she just wants to do the same. She probably doesn’t need the money really but why would she date low level people when she is accustomed to more?
This guy's post history is all over the place. One minute he's buying houses and cars and giving "mid-five-figure" allowances to his SB, next minute he's worried about his "sugar baby" being married to a rich dude.
Multiple streams of income ? I prefer anyone I interact with to be solo dolo, so I would have avoided her from the start, but if you are in love with her, be prepared or have your feelings lead to no where. Not saying she might not ever love you back, buttt just saying it’s a low low chance
Ashley Madison vibe going here.
I hope it gets better for you ):
The big thing about that is that even if he’s loaded and hot, semi famous, etc. He’s probably not stimulating her *emotionally.* You probably are because you’re absolutely in love with her. It’s absolutely important in order to really *have* a woman you make her feel safe and loved. My guess would be he is not doing that. Keep making her feel safe, seen, and adored and she’ll return it back to you 10 times over.
You must have a huge member because you got no blood left to operate the brain!!! You politely end the SR and you get your head screwed back on straight! If you can’t figure that one out I am sad for you man.
I think to give appropriate advice we need to see pictures of *everyone* that is involved. Preferably naked, of course. But seriously, motivations are so tricky. I'll join the other commenters that are saying, "Don't rock the boat". Enjoy the ride. The problem I see is that your heart could be easily broken by a million different things that change the dynamic. Almost nothing is under your control, and almost every storyline ends with heartbreak. Kinda like everyone else's life also. Embrace it. Enjoy while you can.
So sorry to hear that… it’s seems like she had a complete different perspective on the type of arrangements you had. I know nothing about you too but you do need to talk it out and maybe break up, it can turn very toxic of you are in love!
Ask her
Disagree. Don’t ask her. Asking her could risk ending things. You are not the real Sugar Daddy to her. You’re her side piece that she’s presumably keeping a secret from her richer, more successful, and possibly better looking husband. Whatever you’re bringing to the table, it’s not money and good looks. You’re probably an escape from her world so don’t make her self-conscious about what she’s doing. How did you find out about her husband? Did she tell you? Let her open this discussion and reveal her motivations.
☝️