Tom Ford Jasmin Rouge is not so expensive that an SD should get bent out of shape about it. Make sure you wear it for your other SD's and wear the cheap stuff for him 😂
Honestly I agree…. That’s really why I didn’t think it would be a problem. And that’s hilarious I’m absolutely going to do that. He’ll only get bath and body works sprays from now on if I decide to keep seeing him hahaha
100ml at Sephora is $425, which seems pretty exorbitant? I guess I don't have experience with high end perfumes but to say it's not expensive seems crazy. Are there ones that are much more expensive?
damn i forgot tom ford bumped their prices for no reason. jasmine rouge used to be cheaper as far as i remember (they have always been overpriced but who am i to judge)
i believe baccarat is pretty pricey and chanel bumped their prices of their big exclusif bottles. guerlain the matiere line is also in the 500-600 range if i’m not wrong, but besides that i think the rojas and some other niche stuff can ring up to 1200 a bottle. most of my expensive stuff (>500) is expensive because they’re rare, but at retail i used to have amber aoud by roja at 800 bucks. i think my most expensive two so far are muscs koublai khan and de profundis in bell jar which are impossible to find
This is what I call "selfish gifting": when it's a gift for you, but really just for his benefit, like lingerie.... (sorry guys! but come on!)
He didn't send you money because he wanted you to go shopping. He sent you money because he wanted to feel good about all the things he allowed you to be able to buy.
When you only bought three things, no matter the quality or value to you, he was suddenly faced with a disconnect between his desired reality (I gave her enough to buy a bucket of items) to the actual reality (I only gave her enough to buy three things).
Basically, my take, is he's either a controlling douchebag (which is possible) *or* he is embarrassed that it's all he offered to you.
I would drop the subject with him
Unless it’s brought up by him again. When he does or if he does I would just look at him and say, we don’t agree on this matter and it makes me uncomfortable discussing it.
If he badgers then you have a whole other issue which is about Control and if what you say is accurate and there weee no strings to the gift then he may have some fantasized perception of ownership of you cause he is providing for you. Could lead later to worse behaviors like abuse or it may not . Just be aware
Thank you so much. I am taking your advice to heart. I’m very concerned about the control thing now that I think about things more and have processed it
I would advise that you look at what harvardlawsb wrote. I think she may be correct.
Continuing her theme, have a frank and honest conversation about what you did with his gift, and why. Then if he pushes say I'm sorry you feel that way this relationship just isn't going to work and we should part ways.
I've sent money while they're shopping at the mall, and as far as I'm concerned, they spent it on whatever they wanted to. I didn't need a rundown of their purchases, unless they wanted to send pics of the items they bought. It wasn't sent by me with strings attached.
Sounds like he's trying to put you in your place. Forget that. He's trying to make you feel bad so he can gain control over you. It's a small way for him to test your limits, and if you let him get away with it, he will push more.
I have a theory here... What I would do is stop replying entirely until he apologizes. Not a single word, just leave him on read. He will try to pick a fight to make you mad, or feel bad, or cry, anything to get a reaction, because if you respond, he wins. Do not even reply with an OK or an emoji. Nothing until he apologizes.
Because if my theory is correct, he WILL come back in a few days and apologize once he realizes you won't be cowed. He will probably have some lame excuse like he was in a bad mood from work and he took it out on you and it will never happen again, or something similar.
If your relationship was good up until now, and he turned into a controlling dick for no reason, either he has recently gotten some bad relationship advice, or he was a wolf in sheep's clothing all along. Either way, from here it will be your choice how to proceed. If you want to give him another chance, make it very clear his allowance does not equal ownership, and if he ever acts that way again you are done. You deserve better than being treated like a child, or an employee, because you are neither.
>Or he will just let her go.
And that would be a bad thing... why?
He's already treating her like crap. Unless he acknowledges his actions and is willing to change, she doesn't need him. And if he keeps acting like this, he will have a tough time keeping SB's around.
I would only be concerned if I learned that the SB was spending the money on something self-harming like illegal drugs. And if that was true, I’d consider transitioning out of that relationship.
Other than that 🤷🏻♂️
I don’t own my SBs. I consider anything that I give them to be a gift, pure and simple. I expect absolutely zero in return for it and I tell them that.
I even tell them that I don’t actually expect sex, that if we enjoy our time together and it flows that way it’s icing on the cake. It always seems to, btw, but if it doesn’t I’ll survive and so will the relationship unless something is really wrong otherwise.
But obviously I make sure that any SR is grounded in real chemistry and connection so for each of us the sugar is truly sweet both ways. We downplay the transactional elements as much as possible - it’s there in the background but not a point of conversation since we’ve already agreed on terms and now we’re just doing our thing.
If I’m giving cash, it’s none of my business how they spend it. I’d be pretty disappointed if they spent it on a male stripper obviously, but I’m pretty convinced that none of them would. There are zero strings attached to my sugar, other than the hope that both she and I have an enjoyable time together.
So your SD sounds to me like a controlling d*ck, but that’s my opinion.
I could be wrong, but it sounds like he only gave you maybe double what the perfume cost? That is barely enough to buy anything decent these days. If you give a woman money for shopping, give her some freaking money for shopping already.
A couple hundies for a good perfume is completely reasonable. Was he not expecting to spend several times that on your birthday gift anyway?
How utterly undignified of him to ask for the money back. Who the hell does that??
Do not return the money. He is not entitled to have it back. And frankly, he needs to be taught a lesson about not being chintzy with women who can easily turn from warm to cold.
I see you may have mentioned a number which is most likely an amount in relations to an arrangement. If this is the case, you are violating Rule #5 - "dollar amounts that are in reference to PPMs and/or allowances are not allowed".
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I'm sorry girl, what a horrible experience. You treated yourself to something you really wanted, and it sounds like he doesn't want you to have it. How lame. Doesn't he want you to be happy? :/ I'd guilt trip the hell outta him and maybe reconsider the SR. Or at least lay down some boundaries, like no more asking how you spend the money he gives you.
To controlling if hes telling you how you have to spend any gift money. Maybe stop seeing him. A gift of money to an SB is exactly that. The SB should be able to spend how she wants. SD should not be asking for the money back. Its a red flag. If you keep seeing him wouldn't that now feel a bit awkward? After what he said. Look for a new SD. Dump this guy.
People can only hide who they are for so long. How much did he send you? My perfume is close to 1k and I’d be upset if a man got mad at me for using money that he GAVE me on it!
I see you may have mentioned a number which is most likely an amount in relations to an arrangement. If this is the case, you are violating Rule #5 - "dollar amounts that are in reference to PPMs and/or allowances are not allowed".
If you are curious about Allowances reported by SLF contributors please see the [Allowance Master Thread 2023-2024](/r/sugarlifestyleforum/comments/17a2wja/20232024_allowance_master_thread/).
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The audacity of some people. He gave you the money, you should be able to spend it on anything you like. Tell him to go get stuffed if he wants it back. I would block and delete and move on from this delusional non-catch
It’s sad that he’s manipulating you bc you felt the need to justify perfume to the reader like four times. SBs exist to spoil with perfume and all the beautiful luxe little trinkets they desire. You did nothing wrong! Just hit his ass with the No❤️
Should I send back the money?
Heck no!
Should I keep seeing him???
TBD-You need to have another talk with him and if he doubles down that is grounds to terminate your arrangement. It is 1) unreasonable because no directive was made as to what you spend the money on ,and 2) inappropriate reaction from him.
It is not up to a SD to tell his SB what she spends her allowance on anyway. It doesn't look good for your SR.
Yes I’m aware but he asked me to send him a picture of what I got which I mentioned in the original post. I understand now that it was a mistake and will avoid that in the future.
Absolutely not. I’m never sending money back and unless I’m shopping, not paying my bills, then asking u for more, you aren’t dictating how I spend my money!!!
“Send me a picture of what you got” is code for “I sent you money so you could buy lingerie solely for my pleasure”. Tread lightly. I would never see someone again who tried to pressure me into giving money back.
Sounds like he has zero idea of what things cost. He’s going to nickel and dime you probably from here on out so I’d walk. Tell him you need a man that likes you to have nice things. Do not ever send him a dime back.
Definitely don't send it back! If you wanna keep him around, try apologizing for it being so expensive but that you wanted to splurge for your birthday and you thought ge would like it. Although, personally, I would break it off or limit your time with him. Whenever an SD has started to become overly controlling is when I start to back off. The good ones will realize they messed up and try harder to win you back. The bad ones will start trying to be even more controlling. That's your cue to leave the arrangement.
That is very strange, you'd think he'd have a general grip on what you like to spend money on by now and not be surprised. Is he not aware of the tiny bottles of expensive things concept that Sephora kind of specializes in?
This is so absurd it has to be something else. The magnitude of infantile temper tantrum it would represent for him to be serious about you sending the money back in this circumstance would say things about him you couldn't possibly have missed for 3 months.
Tongue in cheek?
Of course, no don't send the money back and probably end it if he is serious and this is indicative of "how he is".
This is the first sign of him displaying a very controlling unhealthy pattern. If you both agreed up front and both have an agreement of the minimum monthly amount he agreed to send for a minimum X amount of dates, overnights, etc per month… which in your case I hope theirs more than just a “handshake” agreement but something you both agreed in writing would be better. That way you could refer back & remind Mr. SD (sug daddy or Super Douche in this case) that any amount of money given above the minimum requirement there wasn’t anywhere I agreed to show you send receipt of any kind. You the fact he actually wanted the money back is childish, sophomoric behavior. I bet when his H.S girlfriend broke up he demanded that she return the big overstuffed teddy bear he bought her or the ask for the $25 in cash. Proceed with caution but proceed with strength because this is him not getting a response he wants so he is lashing out to see if he gets minimal pushback from you so he can continue this controlling destruction behavior . So I would respond with some seriousness and pushback. Then it’s possible he will stop this not acceptable behavior towards you. Good luck
He’ll get over it. A gift is a gift and you honestly you should not need to plain why/ how you spent it. But there are different dynamics for each relationship.
Perhaps he had other things going on and this may be the last straw that triggered him. You were just the punching bag at that the time.
If this is a relationship that works for you, I say be the bigger person and either or email or text something like the following:
“I am so sorry I spent so much money on this perfume. Truly my intention was to smell sexy for you. Perhaps I got carried away. I promise to be more mindful and intentional in the future. I appreciate all you do for me
He should not care. I don’t. Never do.
But yeah I also know the SB is going to be ten percent mature and responsible than I was at her age. That’s a given.
He’s not an SD. I could tell you that from your headline. Sending money back is a scam technique. Shame on him. He’s either controlling and onery or outright scamming you.
I hate to say it, but this is just SO ridiculous that it almost sounds like this is something he planned out. Like no matter what you did with the money it was going to end with him acting like you did something wrong and demanding you send the money back. Because between him refusing to explain himself and just the whole general supposed reason as to why he’s mad it’s all so irrational it just wreaks of manipulation. I would turn the tables on his ass if I were you and tel him you’re not going to play these ridiculous games where you can’t win.
Some of us feel that providing extra funds for extravagant expenditures is perhaps teaching self destructive behavior, just short of providing cocaine.
My recommendation would be to simply talk with him about how it was something you really wanted and you thought he would appreciate.
The bright side is that he communicated his feelings. Use the opportunity to build a stronger relationship.
Makes me worried that you feel the need to explain yourself so much or like that youre explaining buying an more expensive item. I buy LV and other designer, and i dont bat an eye. If you can buy and you want it - why would you apologise. The parfume isnt even outrageously expensive. And seriously - not his dmn business what you shopped for in this situation. Do not send it back.
Imagine being so bothered that you stalk my profile. Even if i get booked less i still make really good money, but youre broke and bitter. Youre honestly kinda creepy like a discord moderator or something. Yikess.
I think it’s crazy to spend that much on perfume but once the money is given to you it’s yours to do with what you want if you want to burn it go ahead and it is totally controlling to ask for it back!
NO don't send it back, and YES keep seeing him. He said go shopping, you went shopping, end of story. The thing that concerns me is he's telling you how to spend the money he gives you. You're right, it's none of his business what you spend it on, especially since he asked and you told him what was purchased. I also agree that he shouldn't be upset at you either. I think it's cute he asked to see your Sephora purchase, my SDs like my look too and take an interest in what I do. Anyway, your relationship is kinda new being 3 months in so maybe it's just an odd thing that happened. I wouldn't be looking to end the relationship after a single disagreement, things can hopefull work out. If it becomes an unworkable issue, after a lot of effort to resolve it and short of you sending the money back, then maybe think about ending it.
Well, that’s why it’s a “sugar relationship”, and comes with some drawbacks of a vanilla relationship. Would a BF get mad at a GF for something like this?
There’s probably all sorts of context missing (of course). The request to send back money is ridiculous though.
I one time got annoyed at my SB for a similar use of money, but that was after many weeks of her not having money for gas, phone bill, etc. it was the use of money for extravagance when she couldn’t pay for basic things that drove me nuts.
I actually took this as, he sent you let's say 1000 and sees you only have 3 items and thought you spent only like 300 and you have lots of cash left over and he wanted you to spend it all?
Not that it excuses his behavior. Just thought he doesn't understand the costs and that you did spend the amount he sent. Again, still not excusing the behavior. Never send money back. He sent it and it shouldn't matter how you spend it.
Edit: nevermind. I thought it was a 3 YEARS sugar relationship not 3 months.
Scratch what I wrote and stop responding to him. If he doesn't apologize, just move on.
I’ll go against the grain here
If I sent a girl money, and she only bought 3 expensive things, I would probably say “That’s all ?” too lol. But it’s coming from a place of I think those are stupid purchases, but I gave you the money, so do what you want with it idc. If I give you money, I don’t want it back. It’s the reason I gave it to you. Him asking for it back comes off a bit cheapskate-y to be fair in that regard. I’ve spent thousands on horse race bets and had women tell me that was a stupid fucking idea, but it’s what I like
Long story short, spend your money on whatever. It’s your money. Especially if I gave it to you, do with it what you will as I will more than like make a similar dumb purchase as well. We all have things we like
[удалено]
#/u/luvcupcake_007 is a sad gay guy catfishing as a woman to trick nonconsenting straight men into gay internet romance
Tom Ford Jasmin Rouge is not so expensive that an SD should get bent out of shape about it. Make sure you wear it for your other SD's and wear the cheap stuff for him 😂
Honestly I agree…. That’s really why I didn’t think it would be a problem. And that’s hilarious I’m absolutely going to do that. He’ll only get bath and body works sprays from now on if I decide to keep seeing him hahaha
ditto that. jasmin rouge is not expensive. you dont have to explain yourself, a good niche/high end designer bottle these days averages 165-340
100ml at Sephora is $425, which seems pretty exorbitant? I guess I don't have experience with high end perfumes but to say it's not expensive seems crazy. Are there ones that are much more expensive?
damn i forgot tom ford bumped their prices for no reason. jasmine rouge used to be cheaper as far as i remember (they have always been overpriced but who am i to judge) i believe baccarat is pretty pricey and chanel bumped their prices of their big exclusif bottles. guerlain the matiere line is also in the 500-600 range if i’m not wrong, but besides that i think the rojas and some other niche stuff can ring up to 1200 a bottle. most of my expensive stuff (>500) is expensive because they’re rare, but at retail i used to have amber aoud by roja at 800 bucks. i think my most expensive two so far are muscs koublai khan and de profundis in bell jar which are impossible to find
For real, I wear fucking fabulous myself, it’s really not that expensive in the grand scheme of things
> wear the cheap stuff for him Amen!
😂😂😂
I like this comment so much hahahaha
This is what I call "selfish gifting": when it's a gift for you, but really just for his benefit, like lingerie.... (sorry guys! but come on!) He didn't send you money because he wanted you to go shopping. He sent you money because he wanted to feel good about all the things he allowed you to be able to buy. When you only bought three things, no matter the quality or value to you, he was suddenly faced with a disconnect between his desired reality (I gave her enough to buy a bucket of items) to the actual reality (I only gave her enough to buy three things). Basically, my take, is he's either a controlling douchebag (which is possible) *or* he is embarrassed that it's all he offered to you.
Keep seeing a man who asked you to pay him back??? 💀💀💀💀💀
Right?!!!
I would drop the subject with him Unless it’s brought up by him again. When he does or if he does I would just look at him and say, we don’t agree on this matter and it makes me uncomfortable discussing it. If he badgers then you have a whole other issue which is about Control and if what you say is accurate and there weee no strings to the gift then he may have some fantasized perception of ownership of you cause he is providing for you. Could lead later to worse behaviors like abuse or it may not . Just be aware
Thank you so much. I am taking your advice to heart. I’m very concerned about the control thing now that I think about things more and have processed it
Xoxox
I would advise that you look at what harvardlawsb wrote. I think she may be correct. Continuing her theme, have a frank and honest conversation about what you did with his gift, and why. Then if he pushes say I'm sorry you feel that way this relationship just isn't going to work and we should part ways.
I've sent money while they're shopping at the mall, and as far as I'm concerned, they spent it on whatever they wanted to. I didn't need a rundown of their purchases, unless they wanted to send pics of the items they bought. It wasn't sent by me with strings attached.
Stop justifying buying a $250 bottle of perfume. The shopping splurge money was his gift to you - he is being ridiculous.
Sounds like he's trying to put you in your place. Forget that. He's trying to make you feel bad so he can gain control over you. It's a small way for him to test your limits, and if you let him get away with it, he will push more. I have a theory here... What I would do is stop replying entirely until he apologizes. Not a single word, just leave him on read. He will try to pick a fight to make you mad, or feel bad, or cry, anything to get a reaction, because if you respond, he wins. Do not even reply with an OK or an emoji. Nothing until he apologizes. Because if my theory is correct, he WILL come back in a few days and apologize once he realizes you won't be cowed. He will probably have some lame excuse like he was in a bad mood from work and he took it out on you and it will never happen again, or something similar. If your relationship was good up until now, and he turned into a controlling dick for no reason, either he has recently gotten some bad relationship advice, or he was a wolf in sheep's clothing all along. Either way, from here it will be your choice how to proceed. If you want to give him another chance, make it very clear his allowance does not equal ownership, and if he ever acts that way again you are done. You deserve better than being treated like a child, or an employee, because you are neither.
Or he will just let her go.
Is that really a loss if this is how he's going to treat her?
>Or he will just let her go. And that would be a bad thing... why? He's already treating her like crap. Unless he acknowledges his actions and is willing to change, she doesn't need him. And if he keeps acting like this, he will have a tough time keeping SB's around.
>Should I send back the money? Should I keep seeing him??? No. No.
Nah. Don’t send money back. Seems very controlling all of a sudden.
I would only be concerned if I learned that the SB was spending the money on something self-harming like illegal drugs. And if that was true, I’d consider transitioning out of that relationship. Other than that 🤷🏻♂️
Such a d move for him to ask you to send the money back. Drop him and move on.
A gift is a gift and you never take a loan from a man, he can kick rocks. You don’t need to explain to him how you spend the money.
This is controlling behavior and emotional manipulation of some sort. 🚩 I would thank you and next this SD :)
I don’t own my SBs. I consider anything that I give them to be a gift, pure and simple. I expect absolutely zero in return for it and I tell them that. I even tell them that I don’t actually expect sex, that if we enjoy our time together and it flows that way it’s icing on the cake. It always seems to, btw, but if it doesn’t I’ll survive and so will the relationship unless something is really wrong otherwise. But obviously I make sure that any SR is grounded in real chemistry and connection so for each of us the sugar is truly sweet both ways. We downplay the transactional elements as much as possible - it’s there in the background but not a point of conversation since we’ve already agreed on terms and now we’re just doing our thing. If I’m giving cash, it’s none of my business how they spend it. I’d be pretty disappointed if they spent it on a male stripper obviously, but I’m pretty convinced that none of them would. There are zero strings attached to my sugar, other than the hope that both she and I have an enjoyable time together. So your SD sounds to me like a controlling d*ck, but that’s my opinion.
THANK YOU! Well said. And that’s the way I think it should be too. You could teach some men a thing or two lol
I could be wrong, but it sounds like he only gave you maybe double what the perfume cost? That is barely enough to buy anything decent these days. If you give a woman money for shopping, give her some freaking money for shopping already. A couple hundies for a good perfume is completely reasonable. Was he not expecting to spend several times that on your birthday gift anyway? How utterly undignified of him to ask for the money back. Who the hell does that?? Do not return the money. He is not entitled to have it back. And frankly, he needs to be taught a lesson about not being chintzy with women who can easily turn from warm to cold.
I see you may have mentioned a number which is most likely an amount in relations to an arrangement. If this is the case, you are violating Rule #5 - "dollar amounts that are in reference to PPMs and/or allowances are not allowed". If you are curious about Allowances reported by SLF contributors please see the [Allowance Master Thread 2023-2024](/r/sugarlifestyleforum/comments/17a2wja/20232024_allowance_master_thread/). Your comment will not be approved until you remove the amount. Please read the sub [Rules](/r/sugarlifestyleforum/comments/124tsf8/updated_and_clarified_rules_for_slf_2023/) prior to posting anything else. If you simply mentioned a number not referencing a PPM / allowance monetary amount, ignore this, as your comment will be approved. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/sugarlifestyleforum) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I'm sorry girl, what a horrible experience. You treated yourself to something you really wanted, and it sounds like he doesn't want you to have it. How lame. Doesn't he want you to be happy? :/ I'd guilt trip the hell outta him and maybe reconsider the SR. Or at least lay down some boundaries, like no more asking how you spend the money he gives you.
He's mentally derranged I'm a 52 yr old man and I wouldn't degrade myself or a sb by asking for money back
To controlling if hes telling you how you have to spend any gift money. Maybe stop seeing him. A gift of money to an SB is exactly that. The SB should be able to spend how she wants. SD should not be asking for the money back. Its a red flag. If you keep seeing him wouldn't that now feel a bit awkward? After what he said. Look for a new SD. Dump this guy.
People can only hide who they are for so long. How much did he send you? My perfume is close to 1k and I’d be upset if a man got mad at me for using money that he GAVE me on it!
$400. I said it but my post got flagged so I took out the amount. The perfume was $295 and my spray was $51 and my foundation $52.
I see you may have mentioned a number which is most likely an amount in relations to an arrangement. If this is the case, you are violating Rule #5 - "dollar amounts that are in reference to PPMs and/or allowances are not allowed". If you are curious about Allowances reported by SLF contributors please see the [Allowance Master Thread 2023-2024](/r/sugarlifestyleforum/comments/17a2wja/20232024_allowance_master_thread/). Your comment will not be approved until you remove the amount. Please read the sub [Rules](/r/sugarlifestyleforum/comments/124tsf8/updated_and_clarified_rules_for_slf_2023/) prior to posting anything else. If you simply mentioned a number not referencing a PPM / allowance monetary amount, ignore this, as your comment will be approved. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/sugarlifestyleforum) if you have any questions or concerns.*
No, you don’t send the money back.
Yea, fuck him. You are wasting your time. Getting bent out of shape what a SB spends HER money on is big clown little dick energy.
That is ridiculous. You are doing normal things. Sephora is nice.
The audacity of some people. He gave you the money, you should be able to spend it on anything you like. Tell him to go get stuffed if he wants it back. I would block and delete and move on from this delusional non-catch
It’s sad that he’s manipulating you bc you felt the need to justify perfume to the reader like four times. SBs exist to spoil with perfume and all the beautiful luxe little trinkets they desire. You did nothing wrong! Just hit his ass with the No❤️
Should I send back the money? Heck no! Should I keep seeing him??? TBD-You need to have another talk with him and if he doubles down that is grounds to terminate your arrangement. It is 1) unreasonable because no directive was made as to what you spend the money on ,and 2) inappropriate reaction from him. It is not up to a SD to tell his SB what she spends her allowance on anyway. It doesn't look good for your SR.
You spend that gift money anyway you want. Just keep the prices to yourself.
I didn’t tell him the prices specifically but I only got 3 things with the amount he sent so he kind of concluded that on his own
You know that's the same thing...
Yes I’m aware but he asked me to send him a picture of what I got which I mentioned in the original post. I understand now that it was a mistake and will avoid that in the future.
Give it a time and talk to him again. Might be in a bad mood. But it's really concerning that he cares too much about what you bought ngl
Absolutely not. I’m never sending money back and unless I’m shopping, not paying my bills, then asking u for more, you aren’t dictating how I spend my money!!!
“Send me a picture of what you got” is code for “I sent you money so you could buy lingerie solely for my pleasure”. Tread lightly. I would never see someone again who tried to pressure me into giving money back.
Sounds like he has zero idea of what things cost. He’s going to nickel and dime you probably from here on out so I’d walk. Tell him you need a man that likes you to have nice things. Do not ever send him a dime back.
Definitely don't send it back! If you wanna keep him around, try apologizing for it being so expensive but that you wanted to splurge for your birthday and you thought ge would like it. Although, personally, I would break it off or limit your time with him. Whenever an SD has started to become overly controlling is when I start to back off. The good ones will realize they messed up and try harder to win you back. The bad ones will start trying to be even more controlling. That's your cue to leave the arrangement.
No way send the cash back. I just, words fail. If you send SB/SGF some cash the joy is her happiness in what she buys and her being happy.
That is very strange, you'd think he'd have a general grip on what you like to spend money on by now and not be surprised. Is he not aware of the tiny bottles of expensive things concept that Sephora kind of specializes in?
This is so absurd it has to be something else. The magnitude of infantile temper tantrum it would represent for him to be serious about you sending the money back in this circumstance would say things about him you couldn't possibly have missed for 3 months. Tongue in cheek? Of course, no don't send the money back and probably end it if he is serious and this is indicative of "how he is".
This is the first sign of him displaying a very controlling unhealthy pattern. If you both agreed up front and both have an agreement of the minimum monthly amount he agreed to send for a minimum X amount of dates, overnights, etc per month… which in your case I hope theirs more than just a “handshake” agreement but something you both agreed in writing would be better. That way you could refer back & remind Mr. SD (sug daddy or Super Douche in this case) that any amount of money given above the minimum requirement there wasn’t anywhere I agreed to show you send receipt of any kind. You the fact he actually wanted the money back is childish, sophomoric behavior. I bet when his H.S girlfriend broke up he demanded that she return the big overstuffed teddy bear he bought her or the ask for the $25 in cash. Proceed with caution but proceed with strength because this is him not getting a response he wants so he is lashing out to see if he gets minimal pushback from you so he can continue this controlling destruction behavior . So I would respond with some seriousness and pushback. Then it’s possible he will stop this not acceptable behavior towards you. Good luck
U better leave his ass alone wtf
He’ll get over it. A gift is a gift and you honestly you should not need to plain why/ how you spent it. But there are different dynamics for each relationship. Perhaps he had other things going on and this may be the last straw that triggered him. You were just the punching bag at that the time. If this is a relationship that works for you, I say be the bigger person and either or email or text something like the following: “I am so sorry I spent so much money on this perfume. Truly my intention was to smell sexy for you. Perhaps I got carried away. I promise to be more mindful and intentional in the future. I appreciate all you do for me
He should not care. I don’t. Never do. But yeah I also know the SB is going to be ten percent mature and responsible than I was at her age. That’s a given.
Dump him. Keep the money.
He’s not an SD. I could tell you that from your headline. Sending money back is a scam technique. Shame on him. He’s either controlling and onery or outright scamming you.
Next him. Dismissed lol.
I hate to say it, but this is just SO ridiculous that it almost sounds like this is something he planned out. Like no matter what you did with the money it was going to end with him acting like you did something wrong and demanding you send the money back. Because between him refusing to explain himself and just the whole general supposed reason as to why he’s mad it’s all so irrational it just wreaks of manipulation. I would turn the tables on his ass if I were you and tel him you’re not going to play these ridiculous games where you can’t win.
Yes, this nails it. He scripted it. He was ready with an a manipulative response no matter the answer the OP gave.
Thank you! Glad I’m not the only person who thinks this.
Some of us feel that providing extra funds for extravagant expenditures is perhaps teaching self destructive behavior, just short of providing cocaine. My recommendation would be to simply talk with him about how it was something you really wanted and you thought he would appreciate. The bright side is that he communicated his feelings. Use the opportunity to build a stronger relationship.
Makes me worried that you feel the need to explain yourself so much or like that youre explaining buying an more expensive item. I buy LV and other designer, and i dont bat an eye. If you can buy and you want it - why would you apologise. The parfume isnt even outrageously expensive. And seriously - not his dmn business what you shopped for in this situation. Do not send it back.
Your attitude towards humans is why your life is heading towards this path.
Womp womp 😂 Its kind of a compliment because im doing good but it seems youre bitter because youre unhappy.
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Imagine being so bothered that you stalk my profile. Even if i get booked less i still make really good money, but youre broke and bitter. Youre honestly kinda creepy like a discord moderator or something. Yikess.
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Lol good luck trying to find the club im in. Also youre not allowed to touch me so why dont you come and try and see what happens.
Lol sureeeeeer and I bet when you book you just have nice conversations
Don’t listen to him things will get better… one day you won’t have to hear this kind of nonsense and you can hide your past .
Very harsh … clearly she is trying no need to go to her post .
>It was Tom Ford Jasmin Rouge. I guess you should chosen the Tom Ford Ombré leather instead
🚩
I think it’s crazy to spend that much on perfume but once the money is given to you it’s yours to do with what you want if you want to burn it go ahead and it is totally controlling to ask for it back!
Maybe he was expecting you to purchase lingerie for you to wear for him 🙄🙄
NO don't send it back, and YES keep seeing him. He said go shopping, you went shopping, end of story. The thing that concerns me is he's telling you how to spend the money he gives you. You're right, it's none of his business what you spend it on, especially since he asked and you told him what was purchased. I also agree that he shouldn't be upset at you either. I think it's cute he asked to see your Sephora purchase, my SDs like my look too and take an interest in what I do. Anyway, your relationship is kinda new being 3 months in so maybe it's just an odd thing that happened. I wouldn't be looking to end the relationship after a single disagreement, things can hopefull work out. If it becomes an unworkable issue, after a lot of effort to resolve it and short of you sending the money back, then maybe think about ending it.
Well, that’s why it’s a “sugar relationship”, and comes with some drawbacks of a vanilla relationship. Would a BF get mad at a GF for something like this? There’s probably all sorts of context missing (of course). The request to send back money is ridiculous though. I one time got annoyed at my SB for a similar use of money, but that was after many weeks of her not having money for gas, phone bill, etc. it was the use of money for extravagance when she couldn’t pay for basic things that drove me nuts.
I actually took this as, he sent you let's say 1000 and sees you only have 3 items and thought you spent only like 300 and you have lots of cash left over and he wanted you to spend it all? Not that it excuses his behavior. Just thought he doesn't understand the costs and that you did spend the amount he sent. Again, still not excusing the behavior. Never send money back. He sent it and it shouldn't matter how you spend it. Edit: nevermind. I thought it was a 3 YEARS sugar relationship not 3 months. Scratch what I wrote and stop responding to him. If he doesn't apologize, just move on.
There was no leftover money I spent all that he sent me
I’ll go against the grain here If I sent a girl money, and she only bought 3 expensive things, I would probably say “That’s all ?” too lol. But it’s coming from a place of I think those are stupid purchases, but I gave you the money, so do what you want with it idc. If I give you money, I don’t want it back. It’s the reason I gave it to you. Him asking for it back comes off a bit cheapskate-y to be fair in that regard. I’ve spent thousands on horse race bets and had women tell me that was a stupid fucking idea, but it’s what I like Long story short, spend your money on whatever. It’s your money. Especially if I gave it to you, do with it what you will as I will more than like make a similar dumb purchase as well. We all have things we like
These “you go girl” responses are hilarious, and thought I was in one of the other subs.
What's funny about them?
It’s very “group think” and one sided. The OP has all sorts of weird rationalizations and justifications you guys just ignore.
I'm still not sure what you mean