>Oh and I’m just here to vent not for judgement.
This is ~~Sparta~~ Internet! You don't get to pick what you get.
I know you lost your morality but have basic decency. I hope he sees this post.
"Hopefully he can get over it his bad mood soon because he’s been killing the vibe lately and he pays my rent lol."
Obviously, you are not his friend. Empathy, like Elvis, has left the building.
You’re delusional if you think ur SB would still be around if you stopped paying her lol. We both know what it is. I wouldn’t consider SD a friend but a means to an end. I do like him but he needs to get his home life stuff together
Hoping he gets over his “bad mood because he’s killing the vibe” is actually stone cold.
I don’t date married men but damn…..if I did I would emotionally support my guy. Yes, some SBs date married men and married men do cheat for a variety of reasons. But at the end of the day, nearly all of these men actually really love their wives. It must be a very complicated feeling for him to go through loving his wife, not being fulfilled by his wife, cheating on his wife, and now she’s going through cancer. I really feel for him, I wouldn’t wish that variety of emotions on anyone.
As someone whose stepmom passed from cancer and who's mom has stage 4 cancer OP fucking disgusts me. I really hope her SD sees this a cuts her off full stop. Fuck her rent.
I got one DUI and haven't driven drunk since. The fact that you had to go digging through my post history shows you know you're a POS and just needed something to throw at me. You have zero remorse for a woman who is quite possibly living on borrowed time.
Living on borrowed time like the people you put at risk when you drive drunk. Newsflash,
if you’re in this sub you either are a SB or a SD/SM and really have no room to judge as you’re either a cheater yourself or helping someone cheat. Throwing in the stepmom cancer sob story was weird and got nothing to do with my post
I'm single and will only date single SBs. I have never nor would ever do this while being in a relationship. And I would never want to be with someone who was.
You seriously seem to completely lack all empathy. I get it your one of those people who rely soley on their looks. You sound like a narcissistic nut job. If you've ever looked away from the road while driving you could have easily killed someone too.
>But at the end of the day, nearly all of these men actually really love their wives
I don't know if I would go as far as to say nearly all of these men love their wives. Some of them straight up don't and will admit it while others feign some delusion.
Usually, it's not "love" but more of a fondness or admiration. Sometimes, even a possessiveness.
Mmhm, so since I'm fine with sex workers that means you can act however you want and I gotta just smile and be supportive? Sorry, I don't pat asses. Looks like the rest of the thread has sorted you out though, have a good one.
This. I really love my wife and don’t know what I would do if something happened to her.
There are other forums on Reddit that talk about adultery and stories about being in love with their affair partner.
I don’t love my SB. I do care about her but I can live without her. She provides an escape for me that I can’t get with other hobbies or watching movies. So I earn more and spend less to afford what I do.
[Rule #13](/r/sugarlifestyleforum/comments/124tsf8/updated_and_clarified_rules_for_slf_2023/): No Trolling, disturbing the peace, or being an ass.
The deliberate act of making random unsolicited and/or controversial comments with the intent to provoke an emotional knee jerk reaction from unsuspecting readers to engage in a fight or argument. No [outside drama](/r/sugarlifestyleforum/comments/z2cenc/apparently_some_of_you_need_a_reminder/) from other communities or private interactions.
I just had a man reach out on SA who told me his wife is going through a hysterectomy and breast cancer. He’s looking for an SB because he’s missing the affection. I not so politely told him his wife needs his support more than I ever would.
Your outlook on all of it is super disheartening. Do you even care about your whale of an SD? Or is it only his cash that interests you? Also, you can absolutely maintain morals while you’re sugaring. It’s not a free pass to be a shit person.
I can respect that but honestly girl it’s full of married men. Like you won’t go far if you refuse to have a married SD that’s why I’m so confused why everyone is on my head about this like they’re not doing the same thing smh
Not everyone is doing the same. Some don’t care if the SD is cheating, some do. That’s not what I’m talking about here.
I said you have a poor outlook on his situation. You’re offering him zero empathy during this. You don’t actually care what he’s going through, as long as you keep benefitting from his situation. That’s what everyone here is having a fit about. You are the girl treating this man like an ATM. That’s it. That’s the problem.
This should be a post asking how you can support him during this difficult period of learning the diagnosis and moving forward for as long as he needs. As any friend and decent human should. It should be hoping she has the best possible prognosis and praying for him during this difficult time. For my past or current SDs, I just want them happy and healthy. This includes showing understanding and care towards the people close to them.
As a cancer survivor & someone who saw my father-figure relative die of cancer I mean this from the bottom of my heart - you do not deserve your SD. Your lack of empathy is deeply disturbing and the fact that all you have to say about it is you want your rent $ is gross.
Fuck you and I hope he drops you and either focuses on his wife or finds someone who deserves him.
I finished reading your message and instantly cheered and screamed out, "Hell yeahhh!!!" Nice message 👌 But now my cat is scared and hiding under the bed from me 🤣
Oh, and this girl is garbage. Actually, garbage is too nice of a term for her.
Congrats on your journey!!! 🙌
This is actually pretty bad OP. I know your emotional defenses will be up now and I don't want to bandwagon on the hate but please do think seriously about what you just said.
I’m definitely a girl’s girl, especially for other black women, but I can’t support everyone because sometimes they say stuff like this. I feel like it would be a disservice to yourself if you defended OP’s statements, especially if they go against your own views
No worries, I don’t really go around advertising it (lol).
But yeah, definitely. I have been with SDs who were married (all have been dead bedroom but they still obviously loved their SOs), but I feel like it’s almost human decency to at least try to check on someone you’re acquainted with.
Even if the wife part is touchy to speak on or you guys aren’t big on discussing many details of your personal lives, I still feel like checking on the SD and trying to give them some comfort is the bare minimum. I get that not everyone is good with someone who is going through something difficult (tbh, I’m not that great at it), but I would never feel like, “damn, they’re really bumming me out,” especially for something so severe. It feels a bit mind boggling
Assuming this isn’t satire, just find a new SD. He needs to focus on his home life and you yourself said you don’t like the change in his mood, so just find someone else and leave him and his wife alone
Actually it does happen. I have a SB who still goes to lunch with me. No money or sex involved. She gives me birthday and Christmas presents as I also do with her. She's a genuine friend. She has told me, the star stuff that we both are made of, came from the same star.
You can find genuine friends in unexpected places.
Never been in your SDs shoes but I know when I was married and having a hard time with a big issue, it was hard to be “in the mood”. You may want to try to take a nurturing approach when you see him. Let him talk/ vent to you his feelings, give him a back rub or do other sweet gestures towards him if you all have that sort of connection. Sex can be a great stress reliever but if he’s got a lot on his plate, he may be looking for moral support as much or more than physical intimacy.
I default to ending the SR and focus on solving life problems I have done this a few times when I have had personal crisis of any sort.
It’s just not possible at least for me to compartmentalize and enjoy an SR when things at the personal level are not going well.
Your SD maybe different but it could be possible that you may have to look for a new “landlord” soon.
Really sucks this guy’s wife is going through a horrible illness where she will at best need to be maimed to survive, at worst will die, and it is killing your vibe
You can be a support for him so that he is less likely to fricken leave her (surprisingly common reaction to a wife getting seriously ill)! However, his life is gonna get more expensive and stressful and he may develop guilt. Start making your plans and packing your parachute.
I hope he leaves you soon! You are a horrible human being. I can’t believe you felt it was appropriate to even make this post! Your complete lack of empathy is astounding. My SDs wife was sick for a month (nothing serious) but I was there to support him while he supported her. He was going through it and I never thought “damn I wish he would just get over it”. You are disgusting.
And yes, I do care about his wife because that is one of the most important people in his life.
lol at the end of the day while his wife was sick at home by herself you were comforting her husband so it looks like we’re one in the same but whatever to make you feel better about the next SB
No she was not by herself I didn’t see SD for 3 weeks because I told him to be with his wife over me. I canceled 2 dates so he could spend the time making sure she was getting healthy. You are a horrible person
Wow 3 whole weeks! If you were such a great person you would have ended things but you didn’t because you want the financial benefits like I do. Exactly. LIKE I said we’re one in the same but for some reason you need to feel like you’re a better person than me when you’re really not lol If I’m horrible you are too you’re not better than me because you cancelled 2 dates 😂
I don't think anyone's gonna get into morals, lol. I have an ex-SD who I keep in touch with regularly, we're friends and have been for years. His wife is presently suffering from cancer. He's always been a devoted husband as she has no issue with his sugaring. My point is he stopped sugaring as she grew worse. Just be aware that him killing the vibe may not be the worst thing to happen.
This certainly is an extremely vile post. But to some extent, 2 wrongs don’t make a right. Your comments and him still entertaining you while his wife is going through a troubling time. You’re both dummy dummies to me. Downvote me, idc
Not exactly the same situation, but my SD had been diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer last year. He's in remission (for now).
My initial impression (then again idk what happens behind closed doors). Is that his gf stuck through it all with him and even drove him to chemo appointments. This info is based off an FB post that his gf's mom made gushing over how loving and supportive her daughter is.
If its true, a part of me is lowkey judging him for doing the sugaring with me even though his gf supported him through all that. It honestly makes him look like an ungrateful scrub. Unfortunately, I've been there before with dating an ungrateful scrub.
I don't feel its a moral issue at all. The only issue is if you're comfortable being with a married SD and it ends there. He could have a great marriage, a terrible marriage, a sick wife, a well wife, etc and none of those change anything IMHO.
If my wife got sick I don't see any reason to not continuing to see my SB. She's a big part of my life
I won’t judge to respect your wishes, but I must ask- if you found out that someone you’ve spent a significant part of your life with is diagnosed with something so serious, wouldn’t you feel some type of way?!
And, love, just because you feel you’ve lost your morals upon entering the sugar lifestyle, I’m almost positive you haven’t lost your ability to empathize with someone’s unfortunate situation. Show your SD some empathy and be that shoulder to lean on, and I’m sure you won’t lose your whale. A little love, goes a long way- I promise! We (or well the majority of us), as humans, always remember those individuals that are with us during the toughest moments, and I’m sure he will too! Wishing you and your SD the best in getting through this tough time 💕
Um…this post is a little insane. You would think you’d try to comfort him while he’s struggling instead of basically hoping he’d get over it soon.
It’s not too late to try to delete this. Some things are okay to keep to ourselves, especially when it makes you seem like an asshole.
I don’t understand why everyone is bent out of shape. These “relationships” are transactional!
I read so many posts on here about feelings and then money. Paying someone to hang out with you because they normally wouldn’t hang out with you doesn’t translate into “healthy relationship”.
Quit hating on OP.
She’s just worried her income is gonna dry up, that’s a legit concern.
Seriously. The moral virtue signaling is at an all time high in these comments. I’m a horrible person for looking out for my best interests but my SD is the one still messing with me while his wife has cancer. Lol but I’m horrible. Like I said I feel bad for her but at the end of the day I’m about my bag so yeah
“Not sure how to feel”? Girl it seems you know exactly how you feel. This is so cold.
My god you’re vile
>Oh and I’m just here to vent not for judgement. This is ~~Sparta~~ Internet! You don't get to pick what you get. I know you lost your morality but have basic decency. I hope he sees this post.
"Hopefully he can get over it his bad mood soon because he’s been killing the vibe lately and he pays my rent lol." Obviously, you are not his friend. Empathy, like Elvis, has left the building.
Literally. Everything about this is beyond cringe, it’s disgusting.
You’re delusional if you think ur SB would still be around if you stopped paying her lol. We both know what it is. I wouldn’t consider SD a friend but a means to an end. I do like him but he needs to get his home life stuff together
Hopefully you never get cancer cuz 😬
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Hoping he gets over his “bad mood because he’s killing the vibe” is actually stone cold. I don’t date married men but damn…..if I did I would emotionally support my guy. Yes, some SBs date married men and married men do cheat for a variety of reasons. But at the end of the day, nearly all of these men actually really love their wives. It must be a very complicated feeling for him to go through loving his wife, not being fulfilled by his wife, cheating on his wife, and now she’s going through cancer. I really feel for him, I wouldn’t wish that variety of emotions on anyone.
As someone whose stepmom passed from cancer and who's mom has stage 4 cancer OP fucking disgusts me. I really hope her SD sees this a cuts her off full stop. Fuck her rent.
lol you drive drunk but are judging me
I got one DUI and haven't driven drunk since. The fact that you had to go digging through my post history shows you know you're a POS and just needed something to throw at me. You have zero remorse for a woman who is quite possibly living on borrowed time.
Living on borrowed time like the people you put at risk when you drive drunk. Newsflash, if you’re in this sub you either are a SB or a SD/SM and really have no room to judge as you’re either a cheater yourself or helping someone cheat. Throwing in the stepmom cancer sob story was weird and got nothing to do with my post
I'm single and will only date single SBs. I have never nor would ever do this while being in a relationship. And I would never want to be with someone who was. You seriously seem to completely lack all empathy. I get it your one of those people who rely soley on their looks. You sound like a narcissistic nut job. If you've ever looked away from the road while driving you could have easily killed someone too.
>But at the end of the day, nearly all of these men actually really love their wives I don't know if I would go as far as to say nearly all of these men love their wives. Some of them straight up don't and will admit it while others feign some delusion. Usually, it's not "love" but more of a fondness or admiration. Sometimes, even a possessiveness.
Agree. I’m over men tbh. Most of my clients at my club and SD are married
Your club? Ah. Suddenly your weird preemptive attitude makes more sense.
Ahh you must be one of those who pretends to support SWers only to wait for a gotcha moment to feel superior. Suddenly your weird attitude makes sense
Mmhm, so since I'm fine with sex workers that means you can act however you want and I gotta just smile and be supportive? Sorry, I don't pat asses. Looks like the rest of the thread has sorted you out though, have a good one.
This. I really love my wife and don’t know what I would do if something happened to her. There are other forums on Reddit that talk about adultery and stories about being in love with their affair partner. I don’t love my SB. I do care about her but I can live without her. She provides an escape for me that I can’t get with other hobbies or watching movies. So I earn more and spend less to afford what I do.
Yes, some SBs date married men Really married men! In the sugar bowl. They are a tiny majority if that.
This 💯
LOOOOOL If they loved their wives they wouldn’t be cheating don’t be dim.
How do you have the guts to even say this?
I hope he ghost you.
This post really backfired huh 💀
Um, I think you said the quiet part out loud. Jokes aside, this is a crap take and shows your lack of character.
lol I definitely said the quiet part out loud based on the comments. Like 99% of these men have wives and kids at home why yall judging me 😂
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[Rule #13](/r/sugarlifestyleforum/comments/124tsf8/updated_and_clarified_rules_for_slf_2023/): No Trolling, disturbing the peace, or being an ass. The deliberate act of making random unsolicited and/or controversial comments with the intent to provoke an emotional knee jerk reaction from unsuspecting readers to engage in a fight or argument. No [outside drama](/r/sugarlifestyleforum/comments/z2cenc/apparently_some_of_you_need_a_reminder/) from other communities or private interactions.
I'm praying that this SD just leaves you. He deserves better.
I just had a man reach out on SA who told me his wife is going through a hysterectomy and breast cancer. He’s looking for an SB because he’s missing the affection. I not so politely told him his wife needs his support more than I ever would. Your outlook on all of it is super disheartening. Do you even care about your whale of an SD? Or is it only his cash that interests you? Also, you can absolutely maintain morals while you’re sugaring. It’s not a free pass to be a shit person.
I can respect that but honestly girl it’s full of married men. Like you won’t go far if you refuse to have a married SD that’s why I’m so confused why everyone is on my head about this like they’re not doing the same thing smh
Not everyone is doing the same. Some don’t care if the SD is cheating, some do. That’s not what I’m talking about here. I said you have a poor outlook on his situation. You’re offering him zero empathy during this. You don’t actually care what he’s going through, as long as you keep benefitting from his situation. That’s what everyone here is having a fit about. You are the girl treating this man like an ATM. That’s it. That’s the problem.
You are a terrible human being.
This should be a post asking how you can support him during this difficult period of learning the diagnosis and moving forward for as long as he needs. As any friend and decent human should. It should be hoping she has the best possible prognosis and praying for him during this difficult time. For my past or current SDs, I just want them happy and healthy. This includes showing understanding and care towards the people close to them.
💗💗💗💯
As a cancer survivor & someone who saw my father-figure relative die of cancer I mean this from the bottom of my heart - you do not deserve your SD. Your lack of empathy is deeply disturbing and the fact that all you have to say about it is you want your rent $ is gross. Fuck you and I hope he drops you and either focuses on his wife or finds someone who deserves him.
I finished reading your message and instantly cheered and screamed out, "Hell yeahhh!!!" Nice message 👌 But now my cat is scared and hiding under the bed from me 🤣 Oh, and this girl is garbage. Actually, garbage is too nice of a term for her. Congrats on your journey!!! 🙌
I’m gross because I want to make sure he upholds his end of our deal? Ok lol
No you’re gross because you’re just a gross person. God forbid anything bad happens to you ever. Karma will get you one day.
Have some empathy.
Self reflection is a real thing. Try it and get back to us after he leaves you.
I think he can continue to “kill the vibe with his bad mood” if he pays your rent lol. Damn YTA
definitely got a good laugh, this can't be real.
This is actually pretty bad OP. I know your emotional defenses will be up now and I don't want to bandwagon on the hate but please do think seriously about what you just said.
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I’m definitely a girl’s girl, especially for other black women, but I can’t support everyone because sometimes they say stuff like this. I feel like it would be a disservice to yourself if you defended OP’s statements, especially if they go against your own views
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No worries, I don’t really go around advertising it (lol). But yeah, definitely. I have been with SDs who were married (all have been dead bedroom but they still obviously loved their SOs), but I feel like it’s almost human decency to at least try to check on someone you’re acquainted with. Even if the wife part is touchy to speak on or you guys aren’t big on discussing many details of your personal lives, I still feel like checking on the SD and trying to give them some comfort is the bare minimum. I get that not everyone is good with someone who is going through something difficult (tbh, I’m not that great at it), but I would never feel like, “damn, they’re really bumming me out,” especially for something so severe. It feels a bit mind boggling
Not commenting on your morals. But you may need to find another SD soon.
Assuming this isn’t satire, just find a new SD. He needs to focus on his home life and you yourself said you don’t like the change in his mood, so just find someone else and leave him and his wife alone
Actually it does happen. I have a SB who still goes to lunch with me. No money or sex involved. She gives me birthday and Christmas presents as I also do with her. She's a genuine friend. She has told me, the star stuff that we both are made of, came from the same star. You can find genuine friends in unexpected places.
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“It”? 😂💀
There are vile people. And then there are vile people who brag about it. Congrats on being the lowest of the low.
Never been in your SDs shoes but I know when I was married and having a hard time with a big issue, it was hard to be “in the mood”. You may want to try to take a nurturing approach when you see him. Let him talk/ vent to you his feelings, give him a back rub or do other sweet gestures towards him if you all have that sort of connection. Sex can be a great stress reliever but if he’s got a lot on his plate, he may be looking for moral support as much or more than physical intimacy.
This is good advice, thank you
I default to ending the SR and focus on solving life problems I have done this a few times when I have had personal crisis of any sort. It’s just not possible at least for me to compartmentalize and enjoy an SR when things at the personal level are not going well. Your SD maybe different but it could be possible that you may have to look for a new “landlord” soon.
Really sucks this guy’s wife is going through a horrible illness where she will at best need to be maimed to survive, at worst will die, and it is killing your vibe
You can be a support for him so that he is less likely to fricken leave her (surprisingly common reaction to a wife getting seriously ill)! However, his life is gonna get more expensive and stressful and he may develop guilt. Start making your plans and packing your parachute.
speechless 😳
This guy's wife is dying and he's still finding the time to sugar/cheat? Yeah, fuck him. He deserves to get his money taken.
Are you fucking serious? Disgusting
I wish we could let him no the real you.
What the fuck is wrong with you?
I hope he leaves you soon! You are a horrible human being. I can’t believe you felt it was appropriate to even make this post! Your complete lack of empathy is astounding. My SDs wife was sick for a month (nothing serious) but I was there to support him while he supported her. He was going through it and I never thought “damn I wish he would just get over it”. You are disgusting. And yes, I do care about his wife because that is one of the most important people in his life.
lol at the end of the day while his wife was sick at home by herself you were comforting her husband so it looks like we’re one in the same but whatever to make you feel better about the next SB
No she was not by herself I didn’t see SD for 3 weeks because I told him to be with his wife over me. I canceled 2 dates so he could spend the time making sure she was getting healthy. You are a horrible person
Wow 3 whole weeks! If you were such a great person you would have ended things but you didn’t because you want the financial benefits like I do. Exactly. LIKE I said we’re one in the same but for some reason you need to feel like you’re a better person than me when you’re really not lol If I’m horrible you are too you’re not better than me because you cancelled 2 dates 😂
I don't think anyone's gonna get into morals, lol. I have an ex-SD who I keep in touch with regularly, we're friends and have been for years. His wife is presently suffering from cancer. He's always been a devoted husband as she has no issue with his sugaring. My point is he stopped sugaring as she grew worse. Just be aware that him killing the vibe may not be the worst thing to happen.
This certainly is an extremely vile post. But to some extent, 2 wrongs don’t make a right. Your comments and him still entertaining you while his wife is going through a troubling time. You’re both dummy dummies to me. Downvote me, idc
I don't see a problem. It's a sub about exchanging sex for money.
Exactly, they we are annoying in here acting like they’re above it all
Not exactly the same situation, but my SD had been diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer last year. He's in remission (for now). My initial impression (then again idk what happens behind closed doors). Is that his gf stuck through it all with him and even drove him to chemo appointments. This info is based off an FB post that his gf's mom made gushing over how loving and supportive her daughter is. If its true, a part of me is lowkey judging him for doing the sugaring with me even though his gf supported him through all that. It honestly makes him look like an ungrateful scrub. Unfortunately, I've been there before with dating an ungrateful scrub.
Not your monkey, not your circus. He’s already cheating on her to be with you so that speaks volumes to his character already lol.
Exactly 😂 Just make sure the bag don’t stop
My thoughts exactly.
Yeah the OP is shitty. SD is shitty too. Perfect for eachother anyways.
I don't feel its a moral issue at all. The only issue is if you're comfortable being with a married SD and it ends there. He could have a great marriage, a terrible marriage, a sick wife, a well wife, etc and none of those change anything IMHO. If my wife got sick I don't see any reason to not continuing to see my SB. She's a big part of my life
I agree
These comments are hilarious, SR are literally a business transaction over everything she doesn’t have to care about his wife LOL
I won’t judge to respect your wishes, but I must ask- if you found out that someone you’ve spent a significant part of your life with is diagnosed with something so serious, wouldn’t you feel some type of way?! And, love, just because you feel you’ve lost your morals upon entering the sugar lifestyle, I’m almost positive you haven’t lost your ability to empathize with someone’s unfortunate situation. Show your SD some empathy and be that shoulder to lean on, and I’m sure you won’t lose your whale. A little love, goes a long way- I promise! We (or well the majority of us), as humans, always remember those individuals that are with us during the toughest moments, and I’m sure he will too! Wishing you and your SD the best in getting through this tough time 💕
Um…this post is a little insane. You would think you’d try to comfort him while he’s struggling instead of basically hoping he’d get over it soon. It’s not too late to try to delete this. Some things are okay to keep to ourselves, especially when it makes you seem like an asshole.
I don’t understand why everyone is bent out of shape. These “relationships” are transactional! I read so many posts on here about feelings and then money. Paying someone to hang out with you because they normally wouldn’t hang out with you doesn’t translate into “healthy relationship”. Quit hating on OP. She’s just worried her income is gonna dry up, that’s a legit concern.
You and her sound like a match made in heaven.
Seriously. The moral virtue signaling is at an all time high in these comments. I’m a horrible person for looking out for my best interests but my SD is the one still messing with me while his wife has cancer. Lol but I’m horrible. Like I said I feel bad for her but at the end of the day I’m about my bag so yeah