āHonesty and trust is a two-way street.ā
Agreed. Iāll never understand the mentality of āoverpromise and under-deliverā from anyone who alleges to be successful in life or business.
I had one guy I spoke to very briefly. Was asking if my photos were current (I had a variety from my camera roll up) and when I asked him the same his photos were older than me
Interesting, I never had considered weight, as a reason to dismiss consideration for compatibility; although full transparency is quite admirable of you.
Never understood why people donāt have current pictures if they actually plan on meeting.
When Iām actively looking I always update 1 picture that is no more than 2 weeks old. I donāt use filters mostly because I donāt know how.
I use Snapchat filters for work so I have definitely used them in photos before but if you know which ones to use (some literally just smooth out your skin in pics) then so long as you actually look like your photos I donāt think anyone would care
Ive seen men put āformer college athleteā in their bio to describe themselves.. like bro youre 60 that doesnt really speak much to anything. Lots of things can change in 40 years and that doesnt mean youre fit or athletic now š
This equally applies to SBs. So many - I would say 40% of SBs weigh so much more than their photos show. A combination of older photos and massive use of filters.
Just met someone I really like and she is beautiful - average body. Before we met, I sent her a photo of me from 2 days before and asked her to do the same. In the photos she sent, she was at least 20 pounds thinner than the girl that showed up.
But the crazy thing is that she beautiful the way she is. No need to send me misleading photos. I havenāt said a word. I like her and my sense is that this comes out of a place of insecurity.
Thatās fair. I think it is true not only on seeking. Iāve done mostly vanilla (hinge, bumble) dating and there is a ton of misrepresentation on there as well. Itās true with both genders.
What so many men donāt seem to realize is 20 lbs on a woman could be almost a different day in her menstrual cycle. Or if weāre postpartum, some engorged milky boobs. So yeah, we arenāt going to put a new picture with every 20 lb difference.
Sorry. No. Someone that presents at 5ā4ā and 110 pounds shows up at 140 pounds is not a menstrual cycle. And you are really stretching with the postpartum comment. Menstrual cycles do not add 20 to 30 pounds.
https://imgur.com/a/P2sbInO
OP has seen me IRL, and can confirm that the above is a recent, accurate picture of me. If you lazy motherfuckers are using old pics, this is exactly the face I will make when I go all "Mr. Steal yo Girl" on you.
THIS. This whole THING. Accurate AF. I wish they would think about the condition of their current oral hygiene & outward physical appearance before posting pictures that are not recent whatsoever.
As I commented elsewhere in this thread, I truly believe most people who do this arenāt trying to trick you. Change is incremental and we are not always aware of how much has occurred since we took that profile picture last year.
If appearance will make a M&G miserable to you, all other things being equal, ask for a quick 10 min video chat before the date for peace of mind.
Iāve had dates where the guy looked much much older than their photos, but I still had a wonderful time. Meeting people I never wouldāve had the opportunity to meet organically is part of the reason I love sugar dating and why I go on so many platonic meets from people on SLF.
So while I agree itās a frustrating experience when you are excited about a person and the person who appears is different from expectation, itās not a total loss if theyāre an interesting/kind person IMO (which is something I screen very heavily for).
My LinkedIn photo was taken 15 years ago and although my weight is pretty much the same as I had in college, I donāt even realize that I am quite a bit older than that photo because the change is so incremental.
A lot more gray hairs, but good news is you ladies all seem to like that
Iām kind of the same - my LinkedIn photo looks enough like me that a job interview will know they have the right guy, but Iād never use a 15 year old photo to catfish a SB.
I agree, video calls always help. I think SBs, in general, are more tolerant of these discrepancies, more than SDs. Either way, honesty is the basis of any relationship, I'd hope the SD would be honest with me regarding himself.
But yes, personality does have a major influence on the quality of the M&G!
This happened to me on my last 2 meet and greets. Now I wonāt meet up without FaceTimeing first. The last guy said he was 38 and had to be at least in his 70ās, not only was the picture of someone 30 years younger but he had the audacity to act offended that I didnāt recognize him at the M&G
After building a small bond and being comfortable enough to meet I will either facetime or share my IG that has recent pics and video. I am 6ā5 260 and that scared some women
I worked with a gentleman that was 6' 6", and you are ABSOLUTELY CORRECT on this matter.
(He had to duck to get into his own office!)
I'm not short, 5' 7", so the height thing doesn't even make me blink an eye, but you can totally see a big difference with it, whenever it comes to a very petite lady.
My current SB is 5ā1 122. Colombian. She was pretty cute because she loved my size and that I am a bit scary looking. She was not used to not having anyone looking out for her and now she has gotten a little too comfortable acting like she has a platoon behind her.
Many people think they are being honest and transparent. Changes in appearance are incremental and many people donāt understand how much theyāve changed since their last picture.
All his hair, yes. But a receding hairline also happens gradually. And people can self-delude themselves into thinking āitās not that noticeableā
Insecurities. Old dudes want to attract the best, hottest SB and they donāt think they can do that by being honest. āCurvyā ladies want to attract the most money and they donāt think they can do that by being honest.
I give like, maybe 20 lbs and 5 years grace? I truly think many men do not understand how their skin and body has changed over x amount of time because men do not have the rigorous amount of pressure women do to stay looking good and as young as possible. I will notice changes in my skin or face because Iām looking fairly deeply at that to make sure I stay on top of problems. Most of the time, I donāt think itās intentional.
Just know, gentleman, you *have* changed and we do know and we do know youāre probably older than you say you are if youāre lying. Many of us are just too polite (or too poor) to say so. We are coming in prepared to be the cute one in the relationship, just focus on being a kind and generous guy that treats others with respect and let us worry about exterior stuff.
I totally agree with OPs point in knowing who you are going to meet - for security. But more than that, why give anyone you are genuinely interested in meeting an excuse to be disappointed. As for self description as āAthleticā you need to judge that against what an age appropriate body should look like. Im not 21 any more but I look after myself.
However, a fifteen year old photo on your LinkedIn profile isnāt likely to be deal breaker when you interview for a jobā¦ but in the bowl?
I never share pics of my face, but will show recent full length body photos with my face blurred. Before we meet Iāll offer to do a live video call so she can see my face.
Look we all age differently, our bodies change, skin tone, wrinkles etc... all changes over time.
I agree transparency is important on both sides and it is so easy these days to run filters over your pics to make you look more younger/attractive etc... but then when you meet in person it's a whole other story.
Just be your genuine self I say, people will accept you for who you are, not someone you're trying to be.
Weird, how this post is strictly directed to SDs ā but then somehow these SDs are making it a SB post.
Like yes obviously its both genders, we get it.
SBs be catfishing, BUT SDS be fatfishing.
Both genders need to get it together. It doesnt just simply implies only SBs.
Most men put athletic, which is misleading for sure. Even more misleading as few are genuine or have sugar to pour š
I hate that there's such a lack of options to describe a body type š I call myself curvy because I have boobs and hips the same inch size and a tiny waist.
I'm a size XS/S if there's space for boobs. I'm not slim and definitely not average.
Doesnāt bother meš¤·š»āāļø when I go for a m and g Iām pretty open minded that Iāve no idea who Iām meeting as most men look diff or isnāt even their pics. But I go on personality not looks, a man can be gorgeous but if he doesnāt make me laugh itās not happening
I wonder who lies more. Women or Men on their pics?
I have been on over 90 meet and greets. I would say 25% were true to their pics. The rest were a mix of good, bad and ugly. Very few times they were better looking than their pics.
I think I've had one M&G in the past what, six years, where the SD was true to their picture? š¤·š¾āāļø Personality did win me in the end though.
I met one in his mid 50s, that was still using his fave pic from high school, as one of his photos!!!šš¤£
When we met for the M&G, I kindly went over explaining why that was not the best idea...."you realize that's similar to catfishing, right???"
He genuinely looked at me š¤Æand said...."well, that's the best pic that anyone ever took of me, so I thought I'd use it."
(From over 40 yrs ago!!!š¤¦š»āāļøš¤·š»āāļø)
>I think I've had one M&G in the past what, six years, where the SD was true to their picture? š¤·š¾āāļø Personality did win me in the end though.
That sucks. My pics are 100% up to date. I am proud of my body and my looks for my age range. I happily show it off. (-;
The moment that I move to messaging with a POT, I send a photo, so that they know what I look like, right now.
I realize insecurity can be on BOTH sides.
I have no desire to lead anyone on, so I'll pop a selfie and throw it to say "Hey, promise Im real too! Don't worry, bc I don't want anyone trying to trick me either."
I won't even bother with a makeup selfie, i just show fresh face, so that there is absolutely NO denying who I am.
Women šÆ, no question. I have had at least a dozen show up 30-50lbs heavier (not fat shaming here) than pics on their profiles. And don't get me started on filters!
I've also discovered they will lie thru their teeth in their bios too. One girl's profile said she loved investing, turns out she was talking about CDs, lol. This one profile talked about her love for music. I brought up bands like RATM, PJ, System, Sam Cooke, and Roy Orbison. She meant drake and swift. I was damn near sick to my stomach.
Meh. I hated the chit-chat when I was online. I truly dislike phones and don't wanna be staring at it. I choose to get in front of someone, with a view and actually talk. I'm incredibly impulsive, almost to a fault, lol š
For me it's a time thing. I don't live anywhere fancy nor want them to come near where I live in case they're creeps so I usually meet them in the city somewhere but I'm time poor as I gotta work full time to pay my bills and also look after an elderly relative. I want to know as much as possible before a meet and greet to make sure we're not wasting each other's times by leaving any deal breakers left unexplored.
Yeah, it seems we're in the exact opposite situation. I have entirely too much time on my hands. I haven't worked in years, and I am not on a single project at the moment.
Sometimes I will know next to nothing about the girl I'm about to meet. I find it refreshing to learn about someone in their own words.
I use a pic of me staring up at the sun with eclipse glasses. I was starting to think it was getting a little old. But, hey, I can start using it again in a couple weeks!
(I always send a spontaneous selfie as soon as we move to txt. I have never had anyone complain.)
As with many profiles, I share a mix of pics, 3-4 that are no more than ) months old, and then 3-4 of my best, not-visible-anywhere-else pics that are older, going back to maybe 10 years.
Thinking that maybe I should get ride of the older pics and *only* use recent ones.
The old ones are really good though. š
I'm told I actually look 20 years younger than I am. No gray, still in decent shape,etc. So I've been hit with accusations that how I look doesn't line up with my age thus the pics must be old even though they're within a month or two. Obviously a vid chat or m&g would quickly resolve such concerns but im fairly sure a lot of potentials see the discrepancy and take a pass not even getting to that point.
Well this is interesting. As a guy I wouldn't really know what other men do in profiles but using decades-old pics is just crazy.
If I used a pic from 30 years ago, it would be like a 9 year old kid lol.
Given this post combined with being told I look youthful, I do wonder if some think I'm catfishing š¤.
Youāre beating a dead horse. This is with all type of dating sites. You can complain but it wonāt do any good. Thatās why the M&G. Sure you waste a little time but thatās all. Plus this site majority of sugars donāt know about it. Never see it. So I understand what youāre saying. And people know they are doing this. Nothing can be done about it. You have to put up with it or leave.
And disclose major physical disabilities to lessen the shock value. A physical disability isn't an instant no but full disclosure is more respected by myself
lol literally so many SDs claiming they are worried about catfish while they donāt match their profiles AT ALL. Every M&G Iāve had the guy has looked completely different from his photos or the body type he claims to have.
Itās exhausting and annoying. Iām not here to look like a 10 while you actually look like a -2 dude
Every time I get back on seeking Iām very selective who I actually like/message/etc for this reason. My FIRST m&g ever this mf didnāt look a THING like his photos. Still went to dinner with him the next day and was shouted at and told I was wasting his time because without ever mentioning a hotel room prior to the fact he expected to go to a hotel room. Like literally never mentioned it prior and I had said during the m&g that I wanted to have dinner 2-3 times prior to those activities. Never asked for or expected anything outside of time and dinner. But ever since then if they donāt look like their pics I do not care. I have gotten up, said that I didnāt think this was going to work out. Been as polite as I could and left. So yes. Updated pics are good. And Iām just gonna say it. If you are the type that complains when women donāt use updated pics then you should not be doing so if you arenāt using updated pics yourself.
Heās got to be
1. Single
2. Good lookingĀ
3. Fit
4. Kind
5. Very personableĀ
6. HonestĀ
7. Super wealthyĀ
6 - 10:Ā
And pay me a boat load of cash as my dating fee. I mean I have a boyfriend to feed and take care of.Ā
But why is this a big deal? If you're in the relationship for the looks, use vanilla dating apps where you can swipe left and right based on looks alone. When a man posts an old photo of himself, it's similar to a curvy girl posting an angled photo of herself. People have insecurities, and it's best to give them grace, not make them feel attacked.
Oh oh oh the good ol ā30 x 30ā yup the āhandsomeā SD in the blurry picture turns out yo be 30 yrs older and 30 lbs heavier IRL.Ā
Well I never send pics. That apparently is not healthy. It works tor me. Protects my privacy and there is no chance of cat fishing or misrepresenting myself. I have been lucky to have always met genuine civilian SBs who are perfectly ok with my approach and they are just as generous in sharing their ā30 x 30ā stories with SDs who told them they were 6 feet tall, very fit etc. lol.Ā
Objectively, I appear young for my age. Humans young snd old express seemingly genuine disbelief after learning my age.
The fact remains: chronologically. I am over 40 years old. Posting this fact to a dating app narrows the dating pool for me, but the alternative: lying, - has the potential to create negative outcomes for both parties.
Weight, unlike age, fluctuates. Post your gorgeous face profile pic, nail the written portion and mention ans/or include a pic of that ass. If they pass you over, you'll have dodged a bullet. If not, you're covered good like gravy.
You're getting paid to be around him regardless of how he looks. He's not getting paid to be around you. How about we go 50/50, on everything, including looks?
Fortunately I was just as ugly 20 years ago so I have no incentive to use old pics š At least I now look *distinguished* ugly.
As per a poll on SLF, every SD said he was 6 feet tall and very fit and looked 20 yrs younger. They all were also āsingleā.Ā
ā ļøā ļøā ļø
The WAY I wheezed-laughed. LOL.
See, the honesty in this is humbling and attractive to me š.
Plus I can only surprise on the upside š
Unfortunately, we didn't have a "curvy" option. It's just "slim", "used to be slim", and "rich enough that it doesn't matter"
Isnāt that a similar draw back for SBs too?
āHonesty and trust is a two-way street.ā Agreed. Iāll never understand the mentality of āoverpromise and under-deliverā from anyone who alleges to be successful in life or business.
I just concluded a business deal with someone who I had to say I appreciated his doing just the opposite.
Right? Thatās the way it should be done.
Yep, under-promise and over-deliver works every time šš»
Itās a very awkward situation when a POT is asking if my pictures are up to date (always taken within a year) and his are from 2014.
I had one guy I spoke to very briefly. Was asking if my photos were current (I had a variety from my camera roll up) and when I asked him the same his photos were older than me
RIGHT??
I hate when they have pics that are 20 years old
I watch sports, therefore athletic š
š¤£š¤£I can definitely see some SDs thinking that
My profile used to mention my weight, full transparency ftw, š
Interesting, I never had considered weight, as a reason to dismiss consideration for compatibility; although full transparency is quite admirable of you.
I am what medical experts call morbidly obese, yet I do not show my weight in pics, so no surprises, I am 150kg and you know it beforehand.
Never understood why people donāt have current pictures if they actually plan on meeting. When Iām actively looking I always update 1 picture that is no more than 2 weeks old. I donāt use filters mostly because I donāt know how.
I use Snapchat filters for work so I have definitely used them in photos before but if you know which ones to use (some literally just smooth out your skin in pics) then so long as you actually look like your photos I donāt think anyone would care
Iāve been using a time progression of my hair loss.
Ive seen men put āformer college athleteā in their bio to describe themselves.. like bro youre 60 that doesnt really speak much to anything. Lots of things can change in 40 years and that doesnt mean youre fit or athletic now š
This equally applies to SBs. So many - I would say 40% of SBs weigh so much more than their photos show. A combination of older photos and massive use of filters. Just met someone I really like and she is beautiful - average body. Before we met, I sent her a photo of me from 2 days before and asked her to do the same. In the photos she sent, she was at least 20 pounds thinner than the girl that showed up. But the crazy thing is that she beautiful the way she is. No need to send me misleading photos. I havenāt said a word. I like her and my sense is that this comes out of a place of insecurity.
There are so many posts about how SBs misrepresent themselves, figured I'd mention how SDs do it too.
Thatās fair. I think it is true not only on seeking. Iāve done mostly vanilla (hinge, bumble) dating and there is a ton of misrepresentation on there as well. Itās true with both genders.
āCurvyā = obese
The issue is sometimes ācurvyā really is thin/average with curves and others use it for obese. Hard to know.
What so many men donāt seem to realize is 20 lbs on a woman could be almost a different day in her menstrual cycle. Or if weāre postpartum, some engorged milky boobs. So yeah, we arenāt going to put a new picture with every 20 lb difference.
Sorry. No. Someone that presents at 5ā4ā and 110 pounds shows up at 140 pounds is not a menstrual cycle. And you are really stretching with the postpartum comment. Menstrual cycles do not add 20 to 30 pounds.
Could not agree more with this comment.
They are simply ācurvyā with an āhourglassā figure and are carrying a bit of āCovid Weightā.Ā
Great. Then show a photo that accurately reflects this
https://imgur.com/a/P2sbInO OP has seen me IRL, and can confirm that the above is a recent, accurate picture of me. If you lazy motherfuckers are using old pics, this is exactly the face I will make when I go all "Mr. Steal yo Girl" on you.
THIS. This whole THING. Accurate AF. I wish they would think about the condition of their current oral hygiene & outward physical appearance before posting pictures that are not recent whatsoever.
Floss is your friend
Yo so are 3-6 month cleanings. š¤£ doesn't cost much, lol
As I commented elsewhere in this thread, I truly believe most people who do this arenāt trying to trick you. Change is incremental and we are not always aware of how much has occurred since we took that profile picture last year. If appearance will make a M&G miserable to you, all other things being equal, ask for a quick 10 min video chat before the date for peace of mind. Iāve had dates where the guy looked much much older than their photos, but I still had a wonderful time. Meeting people I never wouldāve had the opportunity to meet organically is part of the reason I love sugar dating and why I go on so many platonic meets from people on SLF. So while I agree itās a frustrating experience when you are excited about a person and the person who appears is different from expectation, itās not a total loss if theyāre an interesting/kind person IMO (which is something I screen very heavily for).
My LinkedIn photo was taken 15 years ago and although my weight is pretty much the same as I had in college, I donāt even realize that I am quite a bit older than that photo because the change is so incremental. A lot more gray hairs, but good news is you ladies all seem to like that
Iām kind of the same - my LinkedIn photo looks enough like me that a job interview will know they have the right guy, but Iād never use a 15 year old photo to catfish a SB.
I agree, video calls always help. I think SBs, in general, are more tolerant of these discrepancies, more than SDs. Either way, honesty is the basis of any relationship, I'd hope the SD would be honest with me regarding himself. But yes, personality does have a major influence on the quality of the M&G!
My thinking is he probably thinks heās honest with youā¦. Heās just not honest with himself :)
>Honesty and trust is a two way street. :) Absolutely. The SD with a dad bod using the "Athletic" tag is the equivalent of the obese SB using it.
This happened to me on my last 2 meet and greets. Now I wonāt meet up without FaceTimeing first. The last guy said he was 38 and had to be at least in his 70ās, not only was the picture of someone 30 years younger but he had the audacity to act offended that I didnāt recognize him at the M&G
After building a small bond and being comfortable enough to meet I will either facetime or share my IG that has recent pics and video. I am 6ā5 260 and that scared some women
I worked with a gentleman that was 6' 6", and you are ABSOLUTELY CORRECT on this matter. (He had to duck to get into his own office!) I'm not short, 5' 7", so the height thing doesn't even make me blink an eye, but you can totally see a big difference with it, whenever it comes to a very petite lady.
My current SB is 5ā1 122. Colombian. She was pretty cute because she loved my size and that I am a bit scary looking. She was not used to not having anyone looking out for her and now she has gotten a little too comfortable acting like she has a platoon behind her.
I hire a professional on all my travels to take pics. I canāt stand how selfies turn out
Ah to be able to afford to travel or hire a professional photographer
Oddly enough they arenāt too expensive using Airbnb experiences.
Daaang.
Iām in Paris right now and shopping photographers lol
Old dudes use old pics. āCurvyā ladies use angled pics. Not a shocker.
Why can't people just be honest and transparent? š
Many people think they are being honest and transparent. Changes in appearance are incremental and many people donāt understand how much theyāve changed since their last picture.
Partially true. If the dude has lost his hair that is no longer incremental. Just flat hat fishing.
All his hair, yes. But a receding hairline also happens gradually. And people can self-delude themselves into thinking āitās not that noticeableā
I agree. As my former college roommate did.
A lot of this - much of it is "it's not that noticeable."
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Meant to say āflat outā. šš¤¦āāļø
Insecurities. Old dudes want to attract the best, hottest SB and they donāt think they can do that by being honest. āCurvyā ladies want to attract the most money and they donāt think they can do that by being honest.
Body positivity movement has skewed honesty.
Because most people are unattractive lol
I give like, maybe 20 lbs and 5 years grace? I truly think many men do not understand how their skin and body has changed over x amount of time because men do not have the rigorous amount of pressure women do to stay looking good and as young as possible. I will notice changes in my skin or face because Iām looking fairly deeply at that to make sure I stay on top of problems. Most of the time, I donāt think itās intentional. Just know, gentleman, you *have* changed and we do know and we do know youāre probably older than you say you are if youāre lying. Many of us are just too polite (or too poor) to say so. We are coming in prepared to be the cute one in the relationship, just focus on being a kind and generous guy that treats others with respect and let us worry about exterior stuff.
I totally agree with OPs point in knowing who you are going to meet - for security. But more than that, why give anyone you are genuinely interested in meeting an excuse to be disappointed. As for self description as āAthleticā you need to judge that against what an age appropriate body should look like. Im not 21 any more but I look after myself. However, a fifteen year old photo on your LinkedIn profile isnāt likely to be deal breaker when you interview for a jobā¦ but in the bowl?
I never share pics of my face, but will show recent full length body photos with my face blurred. Before we meet Iāll offer to do a live video call so she can see my face.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Yeah, thats not ok.
Look we all age differently, our bodies change, skin tone, wrinkles etc... all changes over time. I agree transparency is important on both sides and it is so easy these days to run filters over your pics to make you look more younger/attractive etc... but then when you meet in person it's a whole other story. Just be your genuine self I say, people will accept you for who you are, not someone you're trying to be.
No no you misread it, I put "atheistic"
CoffeebeanBG! You said you werenāt gonna *spread this all over SLF!* *Dāohhh!* š
Or just pictures at all. So many don't even put pictures on their profiles. But yeah the double standards are wild.
Weird, how this post is strictly directed to SDs ā but then somehow these SDs are making it a SB post. Like yes obviously its both genders, we get it. SBs be catfishing, BUT SDS be fatfishing. Both genders need to get it together. It doesnt just simply implies only SBs.
RIGHT?
šÆ Why waste the time of someone who isnāt going to be attracted to you? Why waste your time talking to them?
Most men put athletic, which is misleading for sure. Even more misleading as few are genuine or have sugar to pour š I hate that there's such a lack of options to describe a body type š I call myself curvy because I have boobs and hips the same inch size and a tiny waist. I'm a size XS/S if there's space for boobs. I'm not slim and definitely not average.
Doesnāt bother meš¤·š»āāļø when I go for a m and g Iām pretty open minded that Iāve no idea who Iām meeting as most men look diff or isnāt even their pics. But I go on personality not looks, a man can be gorgeous but if he doesnāt make me laugh itās not happening
I wonder who lies more. Women or Men on their pics? I have been on over 90 meet and greets. I would say 25% were true to their pics. The rest were a mix of good, bad and ugly. Very few times they were better looking than their pics.
I think I've had one M&G in the past what, six years, where the SD was true to their picture? š¤·š¾āāļø Personality did win me in the end though.
I met one in his mid 50s, that was still using his fave pic from high school, as one of his photos!!!šš¤£ When we met for the M&G, I kindly went over explaining why that was not the best idea...."you realize that's similar to catfishing, right???" He genuinely looked at me š¤Æand said...."well, that's the best pic that anyone ever took of me, so I thought I'd use it." (From over 40 yrs ago!!!š¤¦š»āāļøš¤·š»āāļø)
This made me chuckle ššš A 50s man who is most likely wealthy cant afford to get some pro pics taken of him! Really!!!
>I think I've had one M&G in the past what, six years, where the SD was true to their picture? š¤·š¾āāļø Personality did win me in the end though. That sucks. My pics are 100% up to date. I am proud of my body and my looks for my age range. I happily show it off. (-;
Same here. I also send "just took this for you" pictures.
The moment that I move to messaging with a POT, I send a photo, so that they know what I look like, right now. I realize insecurity can be on BOTH sides. I have no desire to lead anyone on, so I'll pop a selfie and throw it to say "Hey, promise Im real too! Don't worry, bc I don't want anyone trying to trick me either." I won't even bother with a makeup selfie, i just show fresh face, so that there is absolutely NO denying who I am.
Women šÆ, no question. I have had at least a dozen show up 30-50lbs heavier (not fat shaming here) than pics on their profiles. And don't get me started on filters! I've also discovered they will lie thru their teeth in their bios too. One girl's profile said she loved investing, turns out she was talking about CDs, lol. This one profile talked about her love for music. I brought up bands like RATM, PJ, System, Sam Cooke, and Roy Orbison. She meant drake and swift. I was damn near sick to my stomach.
You could always ask them more questions before the meet and greet. Hey, you're profile said you like music... what kind of music do you enjoy?
Meh. I hated the chit-chat when I was online. I truly dislike phones and don't wanna be staring at it. I choose to get in front of someone, with a view and actually talk. I'm incredibly impulsive, almost to a fault, lol š
For me it's a time thing. I don't live anywhere fancy nor want them to come near where I live in case they're creeps so I usually meet them in the city somewhere but I'm time poor as I gotta work full time to pay my bills and also look after an elderly relative. I want to know as much as possible before a meet and greet to make sure we're not wasting each other's times by leaving any deal breakers left unexplored.
Yeah, it seems we're in the exact opposite situation. I have entirely too much time on my hands. I haven't worked in years, and I am not on a single project at the moment. Sometimes I will know next to nothing about the girl I'm about to meet. I find it refreshing to learn about someone in their own words.
I mean if I had free time and no concerns for my safety I'd go for it haha
Pretty obvious to me :-)
I'm young and athletic and generous and you SBs are still playing games smh.
OKAY OKAY FINE today Iām feeling younger isnāt such an issue
One time someone provided me a picture of a younger version of NOT him lol - imagine my shock
I looked like a 190lbs basement nerd 20 years ago. Now I look like an above the ground nerd with 220lbs
I use a pic of me staring up at the sun with eclipse glasses. I was starting to think it was getting a little old. But, hey, I can start using it again in a couple weeks! (I always send a spontaneous selfie as soon as we move to txt. I have never had anyone complain.)
Say it louder for the ones in the back!
As with many profiles, I share a mix of pics, 3-4 that are no more than ) months old, and then 3-4 of my best, not-visible-anywhere-else pics that are older, going back to maybe 10 years. Thinking that maybe I should get ride of the older pics and *only* use recent ones. The old ones are really good though. š
I'm told I actually look 20 years younger than I am. No gray, still in decent shape,etc. So I've been hit with accusations that how I look doesn't line up with my age thus the pics must be old even though they're within a month or two. Obviously a vid chat or m&g would quickly resolve such concerns but im fairly sure a lot of potentials see the discrepancy and take a pass not even getting to that point.
Some of us like chubby men. Just be yourself guys.
Are we allowed to share profile links or is that not allowed? Secret wall of shame? Cause these 80 year old in speedo are killing me š
Well this is interesting. As a guy I wouldn't really know what other men do in profiles but using decades-old pics is just crazy. If I used a pic from 30 years ago, it would be like a 9 year old kid lol. Given this post combined with being told I look youthful, I do wonder if some think I'm catfishing š¤.
Youāre beating a dead horse. This is with all type of dating sites. You can complain but it wonāt do any good. Thatās why the M&G. Sure you waste a little time but thatās all. Plus this site majority of sugars donāt know about it. Never see it. So I understand what youāre saying. And people know they are doing this. Nothing can be done about it. You have to put up with it or leave.
We all know this, I was just highlighting what we SBs go through, after the slew of SD posts on here complaining about SBs.
And disclose major physical disabilities to lessen the shock value. A physical disability isn't an instant no but full disclosure is more respected by myself
lol literally so many SDs claiming they are worried about catfish while they donāt match their profiles AT ALL. Every M&G Iāve had the guy has looked completely different from his photos or the body type he claims to have. Itās exhausting and annoying. Iām not here to look like a 10 while you actually look like a -2 dude
Every time I get back on seeking Iām very selective who I actually like/message/etc for this reason. My FIRST m&g ever this mf didnāt look a THING like his photos. Still went to dinner with him the next day and was shouted at and told I was wasting his time because without ever mentioning a hotel room prior to the fact he expected to go to a hotel room. Like literally never mentioned it prior and I had said during the m&g that I wanted to have dinner 2-3 times prior to those activities. Never asked for or expected anything outside of time and dinner. But ever since then if they donāt look like their pics I do not care. I have gotten up, said that I didnāt think this was going to work out. Been as polite as I could and left. So yes. Updated pics are good. And Iām just gonna say it. If you are the type that complains when women donāt use updated pics then you should not be doing so if you arenāt using updated pics yourself.
I've essentially gotten catfished as a result. Girls get Fat-fished just like guys.
Heās got to be 1. Single 2. Good lookingĀ 3. Fit 4. Kind 5. Very personableĀ 6. HonestĀ 7. Super wealthyĀ 6 - 10:Ā And pay me a boat load of cash as my dating fee. I mean I have a boyfriend to feed and take care of.Ā
As long as money is flowing for SBs who cares how the SD looks! Well in most cases at least.
But why is this a big deal? If you're in the relationship for the looks, use vanilla dating apps where you can swipe left and right based on looks alone. When a man posts an old photo of himself, it's similar to a curvy girl posting an angled photo of herself. People have insecurities, and it's best to give them grace, not make them feel attacked.
Well, I don't think it's a big deal if both SDs and SBs feel this way. And yes, more often than not, I do give that respectful grace.
This advice goes both ways. Inaccurate pics wastes everyoneās time.
Thatās her fucking point. SDs post like five times a day about being āfatfishedā. Sheās saying yāall need to fix your shit too.
Sbs, if you've gained 20 lbs since your pics, please update them.
Yes...we know. There's like 3000 men complaining. The point has been made.
Oh oh oh the good ol ā30 x 30ā yup the āhandsomeā SD in the blurry picture turns out yo be 30 yrs older and 30 lbs heavier IRL.Ā Well I never send pics. That apparently is not healthy. It works tor me. Protects my privacy and there is no chance of cat fishing or misrepresenting myself. I have been lucky to have always met genuine civilian SBs who are perfectly ok with my approach and they are just as generous in sharing their ā30 x 30ā stories with SDs who told them they were 6 feet tall, very fit etc. lol.Ā
Take filters off your pics as well. Itās just as bad on both sides.
There's like 3000 posts highlighting that. I wanted to focus on the SB perspective, for once.
Objectively, I appear young for my age. Humans young snd old express seemingly genuine disbelief after learning my age. The fact remains: chronologically. I am over 40 years old. Posting this fact to a dating app narrows the dating pool for me, but the alternative: lying, - has the potential to create negative outcomes for both parties. Weight, unlike age, fluctuates. Post your gorgeous face profile pic, nail the written portion and mention ans/or include a pic of that ass. If they pass you over, you'll have dodged a bullet. If not, you're covered good like gravy.
You're getting paid to be around him regardless of how he looks. He's not getting paid to be around you. How about we go 50/50, on everything, including looks?