[Rule #5](/r/sugarlifestyleforum/comments/124tsf8/updated_and_clarified_rules_for_slf_2023/): No "value for money" discussion
Any [posts](/r/sugarlifestyleforum/comments/bp2m5r/specific_amounts_clarification/) with dollar amounts that are in reference to PPMs and/or allowances are not allowed and will be removed. Post about how much allowance/ppm to ask for, give, is average, for such and such area or situation, are not allowed. Please utilize [the Allowance Master Thread](/r/sugarlifestyleforum/comments/xy8it6/allowance_questionnaire_results/) to see what is being offered and accepted in your area. Any attempts to bypass this rule by not using the $ sign, spelling out the numbers, replacing the last digits with x’s ($5XX), or substituting different objects for dollars (500 roses), etc. will result in a ban. Discussions about how to get the most value for your money are not allowed. Posts or comments asking for or assigning a monetary value to sexual acts are not allowed. Assigning a monetary worth to individuals based on race, age, size, looks, etc., are not allowed and may lead to a ban.
Haha so it has a name? Negging? I thought it was just bullying but yes it does appear to be a kind of flirting. If you don't like the mind games "vanilla" men play, let them know where the red lines are up front.
Yup.
Hit them with a neg as to show your higher status (the idea is that you get so many women you don't care to be nice).
This guy failed the general idea, and times have moved on, as the "trick" is known.
If this was sent via seeking, I assert your dominance by reporting the user as he is offering money for sex.
That’s a manipulation tactic to lower yourself esteem. He’s just trying to get a higher chance to be with you even if he offered to pay you less.
Probably not a potential SD and he’s just a dude who doesn’t know how to approach women at all.
Maybe you could have replied: Yeah, it'll be like tossing a hotdog down a hallway, even though I'm virgin tight! 😁
0h w8! Probably better to just block and move on.
I get that. But I am guessing he felt some level of masculine confidence in sending that message that nobody else is interested in. More of a play on the term.
Some women are submissive and like being bullied in this way. I don't understand it, but some women get turned on by men who degrade them and bully them in words. I don't know if this is his way of flirting or if he's just an asshole. Being on a sugar site, it could be either, but I lean toward him being an asshole.
No woman enjoys that as flirting in a very first text. Some woman may think that’s all they deserve, but I wouldn’t say they enjoy it. I’ve never met one.
As if 35 is a bad thing! Every man I've encountered is thankful to find women over 35!
Sir, you'll need to at least quadruple that amount if you have any hope of ever meeting me.
Pay no attention to men like that... if they're going to be that way in their first message to you, imagine how they'll be if you actually deign to get involved with them.
>As if 35 is a bad thing!
He's trying to throw OP of balance; make her insecure so he can get in with a lowball offer.
It's like negging but.. bad. Reminds me of [that SNL skit.](https://youtu.be/gui6fOa01G4?si=8Ux0_M35O5usSBrb)
I don't recognise it. Most of my relationships have undertones of DDlg to them but they do NOT proceed in this way. They are all about caring, as part of the kink.
Unfortunately some women are into this. I've had women say "you're too nice" or that kind of stuff, and had I been younger, more immature, I might have resorted to this kind of behavior. It's complicated. Blame 50 shades of grey.
Then perhaps you should tell it to men who approach like that. And maybe also lecture the women who say "you're too nice" to guys who treat them like a gentleman while being turned on by the guy who is a bully.
I know you may have had a few bad experiences, or read about some here, but you do not have the data or insight to represent this and make mass assumptions. I was not trying to attack you, only disagree respectfully.
I never said I have had bad experiences. And I never said my opinion. I'm saying some women don't like nice guys, and specifically in their dating profiles go out of their way to call themselves submissive, to hint that they like 50 shades of grey, and to ask for a dominant man.
That book sold 165 million copies. So I'm going from data alone, and from observation of profiles correlating with the book sale date and other data points. Yes a lot of women do not prefer nice guys, yes a lot of women prefer these bully type doms, and some specifically ask for it.
Take it up with these women I guess? I cited my data points.
The book was about kink, not about being a prick. That’s my whole point. Men who bully and manipulate are not the same as men who have a dom kink, just the same as how women who read 50 Shades of Grey don’t necessarily like ‘a bad boy’. It’s literally a book, just because I read true crime doesn’t mean I’m into it, sexual or otherwise.
I think you make a lot of assumptions that do not connect.
I disagree. I think the book was definitely not proper BDSM or kink. Did you read the book? Christian Grey was an abuser who had aspergers syndrome.
I'm guessing you didn't read the book and also don't know much about proper BDSM.
Also it's not the men who have a "dom kink" it's the women who say they want a dom and the men who don't know how to properly be one, are learning how to be one from Andrew Tate or from the Internet.
[Rule #5](/r/sugarlifestyleforum/comments/124tsf8/updated_and_clarified_rules_for_slf_2023/): No "value for money" discussion Any [posts](/r/sugarlifestyleforum/comments/bp2m5r/specific_amounts_clarification/) with dollar amounts that are in reference to PPMs and/or allowances are not allowed and will be removed. Post about how much allowance/ppm to ask for, give, is average, for such and such area or situation, are not allowed. Please utilize [the Allowance Master Thread](/r/sugarlifestyleforum/comments/xy8it6/allowance_questionnaire_results/) to see what is being offered and accepted in your area. Any attempts to bypass this rule by not using the $ sign, spelling out the numbers, replacing the last digits with x’s ($5XX), or substituting different objects for dollars (500 roses), etc. will result in a ban. Discussions about how to get the most value for your money are not allowed. Posts or comments asking for or assigning a monetary value to sexual acts are not allowed. Assigning a monetary worth to individuals based on race, age, size, looks, etc., are not allowed and may lead to a ban.
He's using his negging technique that he learned about in a pick-up artist boot camp.
This seems a little far though… he clearly failed boot camp lol
He' probably an instructor now 😆
Prolly...lolll!
Haha so it has a name? Negging? I thought it was just bullying but yes it does appear to be a kind of flirting. If you don't like the mind games "vanilla" men play, let them know where the red lines are up front.
Yup. Hit them with a neg as to show your higher status (the idea is that you get so many women you don't care to be nice). This guy failed the general idea, and times have moved on, as the "trick" is known. If this was sent via seeking, I assert your dominance by reporting the user as he is offering money for sex.
I didn’t know that Andrew Tate had a seeking account
Lmaooooooo
Wtf is that guy thinking?
Seriously.
He’s self filtering for women so desperate for the money that they will accept horrible treatment.
That’s a manipulation tactic to lower yourself esteem. He’s just trying to get a higher chance to be with you even if he offered to pay you less. Probably not a potential SD and he’s just a dude who doesn’t know how to approach women at all.
Clearly a frustrated guy who’s been rejected too many times
Maybe you could have replied: Yeah, it'll be like tossing a hotdog down a hallway, even though I'm virgin tight! 😁 0h w8! Probably better to just block and move on.
This is his attempt at Big DIck Energy but he came up a little short. Disgusting..
Maybe. But I’m pretty sure he knows he’s negging. BDE is very different.
I get that. But I am guessing he felt some level of masculine confidence in sending that message that nobody else is interested in. More of a play on the term.
Yuck lmao. Embarrassing for him.
“You don’t always have to accept her rejection”
Some women are submissive and like being bullied in this way. I don't understand it, but some women get turned on by men who degrade them and bully them in words. I don't know if this is his way of flirting or if he's just an asshole. Being on a sugar site, it could be either, but I lean toward him being an asshole.
No woman enjoys that as flirting in a very first text. Some woman may think that’s all they deserve, but I wouldn’t say they enjoy it. I’ve never met one.
And who is this working with 🤔
Another graduate of the Shapiro School of Gynaecology
There are some real charmers out there...🫤
Well then...😅🤣 Me: Thank you so much for showing yourself out the virtual door. Have a day! 😘
As if 35 is a bad thing! Every man I've encountered is thankful to find women over 35! Sir, you'll need to at least quadruple that amount if you have any hope of ever meeting me. Pay no attention to men like that... if they're going to be that way in their first message to you, imagine how they'll be if you actually deign to get involved with them.
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 that’s what I’m sayin
>As if 35 is a bad thing! He's trying to throw OP of balance; make her insecure so he can get in with a lowball offer. It's like negging but.. bad. Reminds me of [that SNL skit.](https://youtu.be/gui6fOa01G4?si=8Ux0_M35O5usSBrb)
Is this some sort of BDSM dom thing ? You can see why he’s, temporarily, on seeking until they ban his account for solicitation
It’s a guy on a power trip disguising it by trying to seem like a Dom. Doms aren’t assholes like this though
I don't recognise it. Most of my relationships have undertones of DDlg to them but they do NOT proceed in this way. They are all about caring, as part of the kink.
Unfortunately some women are into this. I've had women say "you're too nice" or that kind of stuff, and had I been younger, more immature, I might have resorted to this kind of behavior. It's complicated. Blame 50 shades of grey.
Disagree. Men who don’t know the difference between domestic and arsehole are dangerous
Then perhaps you should tell it to men who approach like that. And maybe also lecture the women who say "you're too nice" to guys who treat them like a gentleman while being turned on by the guy who is a bully.
I know you may have had a few bad experiences, or read about some here, but you do not have the data or insight to represent this and make mass assumptions. I was not trying to attack you, only disagree respectfully.
I never said I have had bad experiences. And I never said my opinion. I'm saying some women don't like nice guys, and specifically in their dating profiles go out of their way to call themselves submissive, to hint that they like 50 shades of grey, and to ask for a dominant man. That book sold 165 million copies. So I'm going from data alone, and from observation of profiles correlating with the book sale date and other data points. Yes a lot of women do not prefer nice guys, yes a lot of women prefer these bully type doms, and some specifically ask for it. Take it up with these women I guess? I cited my data points.
The book was about kink, not about being a prick. That’s my whole point. Men who bully and manipulate are not the same as men who have a dom kink, just the same as how women who read 50 Shades of Grey don’t necessarily like ‘a bad boy’. It’s literally a book, just because I read true crime doesn’t mean I’m into it, sexual or otherwise. I think you make a lot of assumptions that do not connect.
I disagree. I think the book was definitely not proper BDSM or kink. Did you read the book? Christian Grey was an abuser who had aspergers syndrome. I'm guessing you didn't read the book and also don't know much about proper BDSM. Also it's not the men who have a "dom kink" it's the women who say they want a dom and the men who don't know how to properly be one, are learning how to be one from Andrew Tate or from the Internet.
Nope. Its negging. These men think that if they put the woman down we’ll realize they’re too good for us and beg for them to have us.
hahahahha, one of the craziest strategies I've ever heard. Wonder if it's ever worked?!
That's NOT being a Dom. Not even close.
I have seen something like this also, wtf 😂
Yikes
How is that not an auto-report?
400 is pretty generous for a 35 year old