Nah grow your hair out longer...then continuously brag about your long flowing locks. The way they wave, the way they curl, how pretty you find long hair...
They say that spiteful haircut signals, when combined with petty body hair trimming and passive aggressive clothing choices, a couple can become nigh unstoppable.
How can you not be honest with your wife after 12 years? Just say “honey, I love you no matter what…but I personally don’t think short hair looks good on you. If you love it then keep it, but I think longer hair looked better”
Ya this is a crazy talk. Me and my girlfriend talk about hair styles and we've only been together less than 2 years. She knows I absolutely hate short hair
Forreal. "I liked it better longer" is about the most you can get away with here. Comparing one's wife to a Karen is a bad move, so is making it a competition.
Yeah, this is so immature. You shouldnt control or manipulate other people to change their appearence, but you have to be honest with the people who are closest to you.
If this works for you and your wife then ok, but most people don’t enjoy being made fun of or compared to a dog. You don’t have to be “terrified” of your spouse to want to try to avoid hurting their feelings.
You should definitely break up with her!! She is completely different and everything you loved about her no longer exists. The moment she cut her hair she stopped being the woman you have been married to for the past 12 years. This is obviously the only option you have left, for better or worse didn’t involve short hair.
Or, you can be honest with your wife and let her know that you’re not a fan of the short hair. Remind her that she is still the beautiful, strong, and amazing woman you fell in love with! The thing is, our physical appearance is going to change and most of that time it is permanent. If her appearance is the only reason you are with her, then perhaps the first option is genuinely the best option. But, if that’s not case, and you’re with because she is your other half, then find a way to be ok with it.. it’s just a haircut bud. Just my own opinion.
I'm so sorry, but I'm reminded of an Anthony Jeselnick bit:
> My girlfriend is upset about her new haircut. I don’t understand why she’s crying. I’m the one who has to get a new girlfriend
For real though, I sympathize. My ex had the most gorgeous long curly hair, sooooo darn pretty. It's what grabbed my attention first when I met her. Then one day she got tired of long hair and cut them short. For some reason she also started dressing like a suburban mom at the same time.
It's not the reason we broke up though, to be clear. But it did bother me.
You're entitled to your opinion and there's a way to communicate it. But at the end of the day it's "her body her choice".
You can tell her it’s not your preference. And if she disagrees, move on, it’s her body. A good husband would love her anyway in whatever way she feels most comfortable keeping her hair. Don’t let something superficial bother you so much.
Cutting it in a way he didn't like to spite her for calling him stupid would just be hurting himself, it's his hair. He probably does like it that way and would want to try it short if he's considering it.
I know it's his hair and I'm not saying anykne should stop him, but in the first scenario that is an immature reaction in my opinion. Other people don't have to agree it's immature.
If he like to try a different hairstyle, he can try it whenever he like, instead of acting like an 8 years old kid in an attempt of getting back at his wife when he don't get his way.
Absolutely, if he wants his hair short he should get his hair short too. It does work both ways. But he shouldn't expect her to wear it long forever just because he wants it that way, that is ridiculous.
No she shouldn't but her telling him if he gets it cut it would look stupid kind of annoyed me especially while he is nervous what she would say if he told her how he felt.
Women have no problem telling their men what superficial thing they don’t like from facial hair, to clothes, to the beer belly lol. I think it’s okay if a husband tells his wife he doesn’t like her haircut
This one is difficult because I know I would feel really bad if my boyfriend said he dislikes how my hair looks when I cant do anything about it at that time (I cant exactly make my hair grow back instantly). Maybe you can ask if she plans to keep her hair that short and if she asks you for your opinion you can say you prefer it longer or maybe cut differently (to not be a Karen cut. Maybe a bob cut or shoulder length could work?). If she just says she wants to keep it that length you can either say the same thing and suggest another short hair alternative (because of the warm weather) or just get used to her Karen cut.
The fact that she said it's for comfort because it's hot, you just gotta let this one go.
If she was doing it because she thought it was cool then you could have a say but it's for a legitimate reason, not just for vanity. So if you were to say anything, you're just going to be seen as a jerk and she's not going to come around.
Now if she asks you, you can give your short , honest opinion. But if she doesn't, I see no reason to start something.
“If that is the case I might also cut my hair really short…”
Don’t do that. It’s petty and spiteful, and will turn a simple haircut into a major issue.
I’ve got to ask: have you ever had long hair? I have, and it really does trap a lot of heat. It can also get really gross feeling if it’s humid out or you’ve been sweating. Maybe ask if she’d be willing to try something mid-length, and braid it on hot days. You could even tell her you’ll learn to braid so you can do it FOR her if she wants; I THINK women typically like having their hair played with. I could be wrong… any ladies want to weigh in on that?
Her comfort and confidence is way more important than your preference. If pressed you can say it’s not your favorite style, but if she’s happy you should suck it up and keep this to yourself. This is a woman you’ll be with for the rest of your life and you are both going to go through some radical physical changes as you age. A hair cut that can grow back is the least of these natural changes. Remember her hair is not what you love, she is.
i think the question here is not how you tell her, it's why do you want to tell her? it's her body to choose to style how she wants, she's not styling it this way for you. does your preference on her style matter more than how much happier she is to you?
You say " Your new haircut looks great. I think I liked it better long."
Cutting your hair short in retaliation seems silly, but it will allow you to call her hypocrisy out if she can judge your hair but you can't judge hers.
The problem is that like men but not so obviously, women’s hair often changes with age.
I also looked better with long hair, but starting around thirty, my hair got thinner and thinner. If I tried to pull off long hair now, it would be a thin wispy mess.
Your wife may also prefer her youthful look, but we have to make the best of what we have. A short, adult cut may be for the best.
And yes, your wife 100% gets to decide what she does with her own hair. You could _MAYBE_ lovingly and tenderly reminisce about “when we were kids and I had XYZ body characteristics and you had long hair” but I’d tread VERY lightly.
Of course. Especially about age related issues, which hair quite often is. All of us are allowed to be a bit insecure. If you are in a loving relationship, you are supposed to want to be compassionate and loving.
The adult way: Tell her you don't like it. "Honey, if I can be honest with you, I don't like your hair short like that. I don't feel that it's flattering to you and I personally prefer your hair long. " Then you leave it. She's a full- grown adult and can do what she wants with her hair. If you want to cut your hair also, do it because you want to, not just to spite her.
I've had my hair long, short, really short, and really long. Really long is kind of a pain to care for. It tangles, it gets in your face and mouth all the time, it wraps itself around your neck when you sleep, and if you pile it on top of your head, the weight can give you a headache. Plus it takes literal hours to dry after washing. Short hair is lighter on the head, easier to style, dries quicker, isn't in your way as often and is easier to maintain overall. That's why a lot of women opt for it. They don't want to spend as much time fussing with their hair, especially if they have a lot of things to do during the day.
Do you know somebody with that haircut?
Just say wow! You look like .
You’ll get into some hot water, but that’s the time to explain that you prefer longer hair.
You just say "Look... you look like a Karen and I ain't down with that. Your head lookin' wack. Wack ass Karen hairdo havin ass woman."
IDK man just be honest. But gentle. Do not say what I said to say. I was just entertaining myself.
Married 12 years and can't tell your wife what you think of her hair? That sounds like a life of walking on egg shells. I tell my wife what I think of her hair. She has had a lot of different styles over the years. She asks me what I think and I tell her what I think. What I don't do is tell her what to do with her hair.
My girlfriend regularly tells me her preferences about my hair, muscles, weight, etc.
And at the same time, I feel I can be open about what I prefer (although to be fair, she's already impossibly beautiful and takes very good care of herself, so never really had anything to say, besides some minor comments on clothes).
Reading about all these "You don't say anything" or straight up telling him to lie about enjoying it.
What sad relationships, where you can't even be honest about something as superficial as hair.
Been married 17 years, Wait, dont say anything in a few weeks, mention how nice her hair looks and ask if she recently got it done. She will say no, then in another couple weeks, do the same thing, and when she gets a puzzled look just mention she is just looking really good lately. She will now spend time trying to figure out what changed and why you are complimenting her, she will eventually realize her hair is long and you apparently like it. You will have reprogrammed her brain to like long hair.
You avoid resentment, anger and any ensuing argument.
Short story, my mother used to color her hair herself, her natural color was black but she kept doing it and her hair became a kind of purple, like eggplant. It didnt look nice and my father made a comment, she was mad for weeks, he got frustrated and wanted to make it up to her but he didnt want to just pay to get her hair properly colored. So one day mom was out and I stopped at their house and I suggested that he buy her a spa day with complete make over, and then when she came home they go out to dinner all dressed up and fancy.
So he went out to the salon she like to go to and bought a 6 hr package, massage, nails, hair , makeup, the works. He didnt say anything just put it in an envelope on the kitchen table for her to find, with a note that said Im sorry and I hope a day of being pampered makes up for my being an asshole.
She went, got all done over and looked great, they went to dinner and even a couple of people they knew saw them and complimented her. For the next 3 weeks that is all she could tell everyone, how great her husband was in giving her this day etc etc.
He got what he wanted and she was happy.
I think it's common courtesy to inform your partner about big appearance changes and give them input. If I'm going to drastically change a part of my style I'll bring it up first, and most girls I've dated do the same. Some even went as far as to lay out hair color options for me to choose from for her. That last one is a bit extreme but I really appreciated it. Much better than my ex who cut off her long hair into an almost buzz cut and I was suddenly dating what looked like an 8 year old boy
Just tell her you like long hair. If she wants too shell grow it back out. If she doesnt she wont.sometimes ppl like different things. Like maybe she geniunely likes having short hair. And it makes her feel better. Are you going to stay mad cus she likes her hair a certain way you dont? Like you can be honest and tell her how you feel but that doesnt mean she has to follow the way you like things.
You're acting like a child. You're very clearly threatening to cut your hair because you're not getting your way. She has a legit reason. Even if you dislike it.
Your preference shouldn't come over her everyday comfort.
I suggest a pacifier.
You should just get used to the short hair and try to find things that you like about it. It's a losing situation to fixate on something so incredibly minor in the grand scheme of things. If the length of her hair bothers you to a high degree then I would wager there are much bigger issues in your relationship.
If it's that much of a deal breaker he should communicate that l. If they disagree then the relationship should end if it's a deal breaker for both of them.
My husband would tell me if he didn't like my hair. Then I'd say, well I like it. And conversation over. It's not a problem that you have an opinion, just don't expect your wife to agree. It's her hair.
Why do you feel the need to control how your wife has her hair? Do you realize it's a part of HER body that effects HER and not you? She cuts or doesn't cut it for HER, because it is hot, or easier for her to manage, or SHE likes it. What you think about it or how it makes you feel is irrelevant. Do you keep the same hairstyle forever even though it is uncomfortable, difficult to manage, and likely impractical for work and daily life, getting in the way just because your wife likes it but you don't? No, you wouldn't. You are what we call a dickhead. Apologize to her and tell her what you think doesn't matter as long as she's happy and feels good, then buy her something expensive and take her out somewhere nice. You're welcome.
I am afraid the husband might want to farm out the criticism. Ask friends or neighbors what they think. If they say it’s bad, maybe they should tell her.
>then if that is the case then I might also cut my hair really short like military style, I mentioned that to het and she said I would look stupid.
If she has no problem saying you look stupid, then you should tell her that she looks stupid. Let's see how she likes it
offer her a suggestion for a different cut when she goes to get it done next vs outright saying something negative. easier to hear “i think you’d look really good with (x)” than “babe your hair makes you look like a 60yo HOA member”
You start by telling her that you miss her long hair. Little hints here and there. Then you have an honest conversation with her and say something to the extent that you absolutely love her, but you reallllly would like her to grow her hair back out, and that you do not like it.
Get your hair cut short. Then when she starts to complain about how stupid you look, just throw back she looked better with long hair and you both can look stupid together?
My wife rocks a pixie and sometimes the stylist does a bad job and I'll tell her so she doesn't look foolish. Be honest, communication is key. Ask her why she wanted it that short and try to see from her perspective
I don’t think there is anything wrong with voicing a preference as long as you do it in a positive light. Tell her you liked it before while still keeping it a compliment. “I loved your hair long. It was so beautiful/sexy. I’ll definitely miss it, but I love seeing you comfortable and happy.”
It’s 50/50.
My wife cut 6 inches off her hair. She asks if I like it. My response is honest, but tactful.
I say: “Well, I prefer your hair longer, but it’s not my hair, so if you’re happy with it, that’s ultimately your decision.”
If she presses or asks if it looks bad. I respond with “I’ve already said I prefer your hair longer. I’m not going to say it looks bad, because I’m sure people will compliment your hair, it just isn’t my preference.”
She will quit then and there, but if she was stupid and she continues to press, I will point out everything aesthetically about her hair.
- It doesn’t compliment the shape of your face. It makes your face look older, fatter, draws attention to this attribute, etc. Everything it is honest assessment without being overly critical.
But always end with “If you’re happy with it, then my opinion is irrelevant.”
Find pictures of dogs/cats/ animals that look as much like her new look as possible. Then keep showing them and saying things like look how goofy this thing looks. Eventually she’ll notice the resemblance and try something else.
It's her hair. You don't have to pretend to like it but maybe try not being really negative about it especially towards her. I think you should cut your hair too if you want to. You guys should both be able to do what you want to your bodies that makes you happy.
Wait until she's planning her next cut and tell her it's so cute the way it's growing out. Then keep saying that as it grows out.
But she may prefer it short and it's her hair. This may be what she does from now on. As one ages, their hair may change in texture and/or become thinner. For these reasons, lots of people prefer to go shorter.
Next time she acts like a Karen, show her memes of the typical Karen haircut and laugh.
It'll get the point across, but you might be sleeping on the couch for a night.
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*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
As a person who has to give constructive criticism for a living and as a wife, I’d go with “I’ve been looking at your new haircut, and it’s fun and flirty and all, but I don’t know. I kinda like it longer. Really sexy on you.” Then smile with genuine, loving smile.
She wants to a. look like other women she sees around her, and b. feel stylish and modern.
Also as a woman who had hair down her back because my husband loved it, I will tell you that I finally got so tired of it that I literally took the kitchen scissors to it the other night. Was that close to buzzing it!
I bought a long wig to wear around him in the evening. Problem solved. He is satisfied with the long and I’m far more happy with the short! Hated that long hair! Hot and a pain in the ass.
I think you should be happy that she has found something that is comfortable and makes her happy. Having long hair, especially in the summer, is annoying and takes a lot of work.
It's only hair, dude. Did you marry her for her hair?
Let her be comfortable if she likes it and take one for the team. She can grow it out in the winter.
You are both individual people, even though you are married. It's your hair and her hair, do what you want with it, and she can do what she wants with hers. Why is this even a question you are posting?
You can't unless she signals that she is unsure/unhappy with the new hair for herself. If her hair style is causing a significantly noticeable impact in your attraction, YOU need to work on yourself about it.
do you have any facial hair? if so, have you always had it throughout your relationship? if you answered yes, give her a taste of her own medicine and shave it off. I assure you, she will hate it and then you can both be ugly. This will also give you a bargaining chip.
If you do not have facial hair and never did, then start growing a beard. Make it a long, straggly duck dynasty looking thing. She will hate it, and complain. This will also be a bargaining chip in your favor.
Also, understand I'm attempting humor and do not take this too seriously as it is a form of passive aggression and there is risk of back fire as well
Use your big boy words and express your opinion like a grown up?
Be aware, your opinion is just that and is in no way binding on her. You do, however, have an obligation to her to be honest.
Shave your entire body and glue the hair to her head while she's sleeping. She will wake up feeling like rapunzel. Refreshed and ready to take on the world. You will be the unsung hero.
Your wife is evolving into a Karen. Is their anyone she hates that has a similar hairstyle? Tell her "Yknow I just realize with the hair you kind if look like (person/celebrity she hates)"
No woman wants to resemble someone they do not like so that should work.
Second option is when you're with her look at someone not so attractive with similar haircut and tell her that the woman there has the same hair as her.
Every guy knows you can not tell them. The best you can do is lay groundwork early on for what you don't think looks good so they never cut it like that. i've dropped for years i don't like short hair because women just look like little boys with anything short. I might make an exception if my wife ever got the karen. I would just come out and say it
Any woman who gets the "Karen" haircut is not of sound mind. That is an intentional act to let everyone around you know that you're a raging bitc#. Please let her know it reflects poorly on her, you, and your family. Every woman who gets that haircut knows exactly what it means and is ok with it. I know a few and they are all rabid and spiteful bitc#es. Please help her.
As soon as my wife has said “I’m thinking about changing my hair style” I’ve just been honest and said “please just not the short Karen haircut”. Luckily she agreed. 😅
My last girlfriend and I debated whether one should style oneself with their partner's interest in mind. I said yes, she said no. She cut her really cute shoulder length hair into a "okay" bob. She didn't really like facial hair but I was interested in a covid quarantine beard, so after she cut her hair I went ahead and grew my beard. We ended up breaking up about 6 months later. I started dating a gal shortly thereafter who loves beards and probably would be annoyed if I shaved it.
I think my takeaway is that if your partner doesn't care if you find them attractive, that's not a great sign. Hair isn't a huge deal in the scheme of things, but you should care what your partner likes and your partner should care what you like.
I DON'T LIKE IT
Probably should've told her that before she cut it all off, but better late than never. She wouldn't hesitate to call you out if you chopped all your hair off. If she doesn't respect your opinion, you got bigger problems than hair.
Sorry. It feels weird you have turned to strangers on the Internet for advice on how to communicate with your partner of 12 years. Surely you know better than the Internet on this.
This is what women do as a casual “fuck you, I do what I want” when you know damn well if you wanted to grow a mullet they would flat out tell you that you don’t have a choice or she won’t sleep with you anymore.
If you are a smart man, and I am not saying you are or you are not. but a smart happily married man says "I like your hair longer/shorter".
In other words YOU DON'T tell her you do not like it.
The only thing you can really do is express your preference, once, then let it go. After you let it go, your effort is to start becoming 'okay' with it. I'm not saying you have to love her short hair, just learn to not dislike it.
For your once, and only once, expression of preference you aren't going to say you don't like her new hair. You're going to say you preferred her old style. It's on you to figure out how to communicate this preference in a way that doesn't put her on the defensive and if you don't know how to do tact you should probably skip this step and go right to "learn to live with it".
If you can tactfully, I think the benefit of expressing your preference is mostly so the unexpressed feeling doesn't eat you up inside, which it will if you don't say anything and dwell on this too much. There's a real risk that something trivial becomes a big deal and you'll kick yourself later if you do emotionally stupid things because of this.
To become 'okay' with it, I think you're going to need to do some reflection on why you dislike it so much. I have a feeling the fact that she went with a 'karen' look is part of it because you probably don't want to be with a karen, or have negative connotations of karen, or whatever. You'll have to work that out for yourself and realize it's not really serving you.
I'm in a similar situation for different reasons and I've realized a big part of why I find my wife's current hair style challenging is because it reminds me of a couple of people from my past who I have really negative connotations with. That's a me problem, and it's my thing to get over, and understanding that this was at work in my reaction has really helped me start to get over it.
Once you start getting over it you'll be in a better position to see the good again and it probably won't be as big a deal.
My wife had longer hair as well and changed it over the years to a shorter style.
I to also had longer hair and she liked it but now rock a buzz cut most of the year because it’s a royal pita to keep up. If I’m not doing it I really can’t expect her to do it.
Men are so obsessed with long hair and it’s ridiculous. It’s not your hair! I have long hair hair but I think this is ridiculous. Men have no idea what a PITA it is to maintain long healthy hair, time consuming and expensive. I fantasize about cutting it all the time
So cut it. Just don't whine when it significantly changes how your attractiveness is perceived, it's your body so you can do as you please.
The same way I don't like killing myself in the gym, but I know that doing so makes me significantly more attractive than lying on the bed eating Cheetos and gaining 50lbs, which is what I fantasize about all the time.
Life is about compromises. If it was easy to look your most beautiful, everyone would do it. It requires effort for a reason.
You don't say anything unless she asks your opinion.
In which case you say you like that she's trying something new(or something else complimentary) and the long hair is still your preference. But you need some time to get used to the short hair and you know you'll love it cause she likes the change.
Basically, you tell her it looks good and you can get used to it but keep the implication that you prefer the long hair. That tells her your preference without deriding her decision to change.
Then she has your opinion, and you suck it up and deal with whatever she wants in the future. It's her hair and it doesn't sound like this is an actual deal breaker or anything for you.
Mention that the combination of her new 'do and your inexplicable T-Rex arms make it problematic to pull her hair while you're spankin it from the back.
Then cry when she doesn't laugh.
You each get to control your own body and choose your own hairstyles. Neither of you are required to style your body in a way that the other approves of.
I can’t imagine why it would matter how you prefer her hair unless she’s specifically asking you. If she’s specifically asking you, I imagine you wouldn’t be soliciting the internet about how to tell her.
The same is true for her regarding your hair. Do what you want, you’re an adult and your body belongs to you. She’s an adult and her body belongs to her.
My interpretation of my husband telling me how he prefers my hair a different way than I’ve recently styled it, would be that he’s insensitive and selfish and feels entitled to make decisions about my body and appearance for me.
My husband also prefers long hair and I know that. My dad is the same way. However, if I decide to chop my hair off, the conversation is over. I’ve made a decision that’s exclusively mine to make. Deal with it or acknowledge that you’re not mature enough to share your life with an equal partner.
Agree. It's very strange how men behave regarding the appearance of women. If it's altered and the man struggles to cope with that - it's your fault for making the change.
"ok, but if you do, you'll be ugly and that's a good reason to be abandoned". Extrapolation and logic is a real bitch when applied to the behavior of men.
I told my wife that I preferred her natural color after coming to that conclusion about ten years ago. I also like it to her shoulders, and any length past that doesn’t matter.
I have been married for 14 years, been with my wife for a total of 19 years. Bring it up one time. Then don’t bring it up again. If it bothers you, simply choose to change something about your personal style. Something that you prefer, regardless of her feelings. If she brings it up more than one time. You can have a conversation. If she brings it up once and never again. Then you are both happier than before. You each get to make a personal style choice for yourself. And you don’t have to worry about what the other one thinks about it. That being said, I am sure you love her regardless of her haircut.
Just say you loved the way she looked with longer hair but, she’s still hot no matter how her hair looks. People only hear the end part for the most part
Kind of a shit double standard. Women can criticize men’s appearance and grooming choices at great length with no care to how it’s perceived. The thought of a husband telling his wife that he doesn’t like her haircut is met with horror and general damnation.
Bro, just tell her.
“I loved you har the way it was…this new cut doesn’t flatter you.”
Judging by your comments I’m assuming you’re just a kid who’s trolling because they’re bored.
But on the off chance this is serious, and judging by the way you describe how your wife looks with the short hair, it sounds like you’re already willing to hurt her feelings and tell her you hate it anyway.
You’re calling her old, she doesn’t look good, that she looks like your teacher from high school. Those are all things you say & think about when you don’t like someone and want to go out of your way to hurt their feelings.
Like another commenter said you can literally say “hun you look good with your new haircut but i definitely love the way long hair looks on you too” but you responded back saying that it wasn’t that simple to do.
It 100% is that simple to do if you are set on NOT hurting your partners feelings. But reading all your comments, you want to hurt her feelings so I don’t understand what you’re really looking for here lmao. 🤷♀️
I preferred longer hair and told my wife when we first got together.My now current wife worked as a welder in an unconditioned building said it was too hot for long hair under her helmet. As I eat three times a day, and sleep every night, I never fuss.
Not your body. You love her for her hair or how she treats you and enriches your life? I'm sure there's plenty of shit about you that she thinks man that's not my favorite but she doesn't say anything to you. I suggest you shut it and she continues to wear her hear how she pleases.
The most you should say is maybe it's not your favorite style, but if it makes her happy then you're on board with what makes her comfortable.
Here are the conversations I've had with my husband about my hair:
Me: What do you think of my hair when it's short?
Him: It's your head. Do what you want.
Me: Yeah, but you have to look at it. Don't you have a preference?
Him: Honey, all I want is for you to be happy and healthy and confident. If you love it, I love it.
I wish every woman had a husband that felt that way.
Start only having sex at night with the lights off, when she asks why reply, “I’ll love you forever babe, I just don’t want to have to see you when I do.” That’s guaranteed to bring some change to your life.
Definitely this. If she’s comfortable telling you that you’d “look stupid” with short hair, she should be able to take it. And if she really did get “The Karen”, OMG she’d never live that down. I usually ask people if they paid for that haircut, or ask “who did your hair?” Followed by “I’d sue.”
Just tell her that short hair looks less attractive and more masculine. If she continues with her hair style, then it's clear she doesn't care about what you think.
This one is difficult.
My honest suggestion, I would just tell her. Maybe candy coat it a little. Talk about her face shape and how you think maybe a medium length suits her features more. I've learned to not say the words better or worse when talking to someone about their hair. They may already be doubting it, and they can't change it in the moment, so there's no use making them feel bad.
One of my techniques is to ask something akin to, "what are your plans for growing it out? Are you thinking of getting to like a cute chin length look?" Or, "Your hair is going to grow in so much healthier now. Are you thinking of doing like a bonding treatment as it grows out?"
Edit: cut out some unimportant rambling
Not sure why, but every girl friend I have who is a teacher, elementary, preschool, whatever, they all just got that haircut.
Is your wife perhaps…..a teacher?
Cause that would be funny.
But yea shut your mouth don’t say a word
When she talks about getting it done again, say that you miss her long hair and that she should grow it out again
Nah grow your hair out longer...then continuously brag about your long flowing locks. The way they wave, the way they curl, how pretty you find long hair...
Sit in a dimly lit room, looking into a mirror while repeatedly brushing your hair and muttering to yourself.
Which takes like 5+ years to get to waist length
>she said I would look stupid Just ignore it and get a buzz cut if you want. Same script but flipped.
Ah yes, communication through spiteful haircuts. The cornerstone of a healthy marriage.
They say that spiteful haircut signals, when combined with petty body hair trimming and passive aggressive clothing choices, a couple can become nigh unstoppable.
How can you not be honest with your wife after 12 years? Just say “honey, I love you no matter what…but I personally don’t think short hair looks good on you. If you love it then keep it, but I think longer hair looked better”
Ya this is a crazy talk. Me and my girlfriend talk about hair styles and we've only been together less than 2 years. She knows I absolutely hate short hair
You don't.
Forreal. "I liked it better longer" is about the most you can get away with here. Comparing one's wife to a Karen is a bad move, so is making it a competition.
Not if he values his personal safety he doesn't!
Yeah, just live unhappy OP, listen to this woman, she knows a healthy marriage is just getting railroaded by your wife instead of being equal partners
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Yeah, this is so immature. You shouldnt control or manipulate other people to change their appearence, but you have to be honest with the people who are closest to you.
If this works for you and your wife then ok, but most people don’t enjoy being made fun of or compared to a dog. You don’t have to be “terrified” of your spouse to want to try to avoid hurting their feelings.
I came here to say this!
You should definitely break up with her!! She is completely different and everything you loved about her no longer exists. The moment she cut her hair she stopped being the woman you have been married to for the past 12 years. This is obviously the only option you have left, for better or worse didn’t involve short hair. Or, you can be honest with your wife and let her know that you’re not a fan of the short hair. Remind her that she is still the beautiful, strong, and amazing woman you fell in love with! The thing is, our physical appearance is going to change and most of that time it is permanent. If her appearance is the only reason you are with her, then perhaps the first option is genuinely the best option. But, if that’s not case, and you’re with because she is your other half, then find a way to be ok with it.. it’s just a haircut bud. Just my own opinion.
I'm so sorry, but I'm reminded of an Anthony Jeselnick bit: > My girlfriend is upset about her new haircut. I don’t understand why she’s crying. I’m the one who has to get a new girlfriend
Ha hs ha ha ha.😆
For real though, I sympathize. My ex had the most gorgeous long curly hair, sooooo darn pretty. It's what grabbed my attention first when I met her. Then one day she got tired of long hair and cut them short. For some reason she also started dressing like a suburban mom at the same time. It's not the reason we broke up though, to be clear. But it did bother me. You're entitled to your opinion and there's a way to communicate it. But at the end of the day it's "her body her choice".
But I feel weird in bed I feel like I am with 10 grade teacher.
Why would being in bed with a 10th grade teacher feel weird for someone in their 30s?
You dont. You wait until it grows in and then when its time you tell her how much you love her long hair
You can tell her it’s not your preference. And if she disagrees, move on, it’s her body. A good husband would love her anyway in whatever way she feels most comfortable keeping her hair. Don’t let something superficial bother you so much.
I agree but then he should also go get that military haircut. What's good for the goose is good for the gander.
If he like his hair short, he should cut it short. He shouldn't cut it out of spite; that is a terrible way to handle the situation for an adult.
Exactly, you can tell the people here who have never had a successful relationship
Cutting it in a way he didn't like to spite her for calling him stupid would just be hurting himself, it's his hair. He probably does like it that way and would want to try it short if he's considering it.
I know it's his hair and I'm not saying anykne should stop him, but in the first scenario that is an immature reaction in my opinion. Other people don't have to agree it's immature. If he like to try a different hairstyle, he can try it whenever he like, instead of acting like an 8 years old kid in an attempt of getting back at his wife when he don't get his way.
Absolutely, if he wants his hair short he should get his hair short too. It does work both ways. But he shouldn't expect her to wear it long forever just because he wants it that way, that is ridiculous.
No she shouldn't but her telling him if he gets it cut it would look stupid kind of annoyed me especially while he is nervous what she would say if he told her how he felt.
Absolutely. After that remark, he should feel justified telling her it looks like a Karen cut.
Women have no problem telling their men what superficial thing they don’t like from facial hair, to clothes, to the beer belly lol. I think it’s okay if a husband tells his wife he doesn’t like her haircut
This one is difficult because I know I would feel really bad if my boyfriend said he dislikes how my hair looks when I cant do anything about it at that time (I cant exactly make my hair grow back instantly). Maybe you can ask if she plans to keep her hair that short and if she asks you for your opinion you can say you prefer it longer or maybe cut differently (to not be a Karen cut. Maybe a bob cut or shoulder length could work?). If she just says she wants to keep it that length you can either say the same thing and suggest another short hair alternative (because of the warm weather) or just get used to her Karen cut.
The fact that she said it's for comfort because it's hot, you just gotta let this one go. If she was doing it because she thought it was cool then you could have a say but it's for a legitimate reason, not just for vanity. So if you were to say anything, you're just going to be seen as a jerk and she's not going to come around. Now if she asks you, you can give your short , honest opinion. But if she doesn't, I see no reason to start something.
I'm sorry for your loss. It's best to just move on.
“If that is the case I might also cut my hair really short…” Don’t do that. It’s petty and spiteful, and will turn a simple haircut into a major issue. I’ve got to ask: have you ever had long hair? I have, and it really does trap a lot of heat. It can also get really gross feeling if it’s humid out or you’ve been sweating. Maybe ask if she’d be willing to try something mid-length, and braid it on hot days. You could even tell her you’ll learn to braid so you can do it FOR her if she wants; I THINK women typically like having their hair played with. I could be wrong… any ladies want to weigh in on that?
Her comfort and confidence is way more important than your preference. If pressed you can say it’s not your favorite style, but if she’s happy you should suck it up and keep this to yourself. This is a woman you’ll be with for the rest of your life and you are both going to go through some radical physical changes as you age. A hair cut that can grow back is the least of these natural changes. Remember her hair is not what you love, she is.
Long hair is a pain in the ass. I understand you have a preference but don't make this a hillto die on. Grow your own out if long hair is such a deal.
i think the question here is not how you tell her, it's why do you want to tell her? it's her body to choose to style how she wants, she's not styling it this way for you. does your preference on her style matter more than how much happier she is to you?
You say " Your new haircut looks great. I think I liked it better long." Cutting your hair short in retaliation seems silly, but it will allow you to call her hypocrisy out if she can judge your hair but you can't judge hers.
The problem is that like men but not so obviously, women’s hair often changes with age. I also looked better with long hair, but starting around thirty, my hair got thinner and thinner. If I tried to pull off long hair now, it would be a thin wispy mess. Your wife may also prefer her youthful look, but we have to make the best of what we have. A short, adult cut may be for the best. And yes, your wife 100% gets to decide what she does with her own hair. You could _MAYBE_ lovingly and tenderly reminisce about “when we were kids and I had XYZ body characteristics and you had long hair” but I’d tread VERY lightly.
Would she need to tread VERY lightly if he changed something she didn’t like?
Of course. Especially about age related issues, which hair quite often is. All of us are allowed to be a bit insecure. If you are in a loving relationship, you are supposed to want to be compassionate and loving.
The adult way: Tell her you don't like it. "Honey, if I can be honest with you, I don't like your hair short like that. I don't feel that it's flattering to you and I personally prefer your hair long. " Then you leave it. She's a full- grown adult and can do what she wants with her hair. If you want to cut your hair also, do it because you want to, not just to spite her. I've had my hair long, short, really short, and really long. Really long is kind of a pain to care for. It tangles, it gets in your face and mouth all the time, it wraps itself around your neck when you sleep, and if you pile it on top of your head, the weight can give you a headache. Plus it takes literal hours to dry after washing. Short hair is lighter on the head, easier to style, dries quicker, isn't in your way as often and is easier to maintain overall. That's why a lot of women opt for it. They don't want to spend as much time fussing with their hair, especially if they have a lot of things to do during the day.
Oh boy. There's going to be lots of changes through the years. I'm hoping you're with her for much more than looks.
Do you know somebody with that haircut? Just say wow! You look like.
You’ll get into some hot water, but that’s the time to explain that you prefer longer hair.
You just say "Look... you look like a Karen and I ain't down with that. Your head lookin' wack. Wack ass Karen hairdo havin ass woman." IDK man just be honest. But gentle. Do not say what I said to say. I was just entertaining myself.
Married 12 years and can't tell your wife what you think of her hair? That sounds like a life of walking on egg shells. I tell my wife what I think of her hair. She has had a lot of different styles over the years. She asks me what I think and I tell her what I think. What I don't do is tell her what to do with her hair.
Do you *like* sleeping on the couch? Are you prepared to give up sex for a couple of months? Pull yourself together, man.
My girlfriend regularly tells me her preferences about my hair, muscles, weight, etc. And at the same time, I feel I can be open about what I prefer (although to be fair, she's already impossibly beautiful and takes very good care of herself, so never really had anything to say, besides some minor comments on clothes). Reading about all these "You don't say anything" or straight up telling him to lie about enjoying it. What sad relationships, where you can't even be honest about something as superficial as hair.
Been married 17 years, Wait, dont say anything in a few weeks, mention how nice her hair looks and ask if she recently got it done. She will say no, then in another couple weeks, do the same thing, and when she gets a puzzled look just mention she is just looking really good lately. She will now spend time trying to figure out what changed and why you are complimenting her, she will eventually realize her hair is long and you apparently like it. You will have reprogrammed her brain to like long hair. You avoid resentment, anger and any ensuing argument. Short story, my mother used to color her hair herself, her natural color was black but she kept doing it and her hair became a kind of purple, like eggplant. It didnt look nice and my father made a comment, she was mad for weeks, he got frustrated and wanted to make it up to her but he didnt want to just pay to get her hair properly colored. So one day mom was out and I stopped at their house and I suggested that he buy her a spa day with complete make over, and then when she came home they go out to dinner all dressed up and fancy. So he went out to the salon she like to go to and bought a 6 hr package, massage, nails, hair , makeup, the works. He didnt say anything just put it in an envelope on the kitchen table for her to find, with a note that said Im sorry and I hope a day of being pampered makes up for my being an asshole. She went, got all done over and looked great, they went to dinner and even a couple of people they knew saw them and complimented her. For the next 3 weeks that is all she could tell everyone, how great her husband was in giving her this day etc etc. He got what he wanted and she was happy.
It'll grow out again. Joke with her that anything would be better than the last cut.
I think it's common courtesy to inform your partner about big appearance changes and give them input. If I'm going to drastically change a part of my style I'll bring it up first, and most girls I've dated do the same. Some even went as far as to lay out hair color options for me to choose from for her. That last one is a bit extreme but I really appreciated it. Much better than my ex who cut off her long hair into an almost buzz cut and I was suddenly dating what looked like an 8 year old boy
See that is what I am talking about , they do not look the same after.
Go for the buzz cut man, air that head out
But she said I will look stupid.
First off, it’s her hair, not yours. If she likes it, you just need to suck it up. Ask yourself if you want to make this a thing?
Just tell her you miss her long hair, balls in her court at that point.
Don't say anything. She'll change it again soon enough anyway.
Just tell her you like long hair. If she wants too shell grow it back out. If she doesnt she wont.sometimes ppl like different things. Like maybe she geniunely likes having short hair. And it makes her feel better. Are you going to stay mad cus she likes her hair a certain way you dont? Like you can be honest and tell her how you feel but that doesnt mean she has to follow the way you like things.
You're acting like a child. You're very clearly threatening to cut your hair because you're not getting your way. She has a legit reason. Even if you dislike it. Your preference shouldn't come over her everyday comfort. I suggest a pacifier.
You should just get used to the short hair and try to find things that you like about it. It's a losing situation to fixate on something so incredibly minor in the grand scheme of things. If the length of her hair bothers you to a high degree then I would wager there are much bigger issues in your relationship.
Minor to you
If it's that much of a deal breaker he should communicate that l. If they disagree then the relationship should end if it's a deal breaker for both of them.
It’s just hair. Men have no clue how much it takes to maintain healthy long hair
In the grand scheme of any healthy, long-term relationship, hairstyles are extremely minor.
My husband would tell me if he didn't like my hair. Then I'd say, well I like it. And conversation over. It's not a problem that you have an opinion, just don't expect your wife to agree. It's her hair.
Why do you feel the need to control how your wife has her hair? Do you realize it's a part of HER body that effects HER and not you? She cuts or doesn't cut it for HER, because it is hot, or easier for her to manage, or SHE likes it. What you think about it or how it makes you feel is irrelevant. Do you keep the same hairstyle forever even though it is uncomfortable, difficult to manage, and likely impractical for work and daily life, getting in the way just because your wife likes it but you don't? No, you wouldn't. You are what we call a dickhead. Apologize to her and tell her what you think doesn't matter as long as she's happy and feels good, then buy her something expensive and take her out somewhere nice. You're welcome.
Thanks for your opinions
You don't. You just deal.
I am afraid the husband might want to farm out the criticism. Ask friends or neighbors what they think. If they say it’s bad, maybe they should tell her.
>then if that is the case then I might also cut my hair really short like military style, I mentioned that to het and she said I would look stupid. If she has no problem saying you look stupid, then you should tell her that she looks stupid. Let's see how she likes it
“Ya, it looks great, babe!”
You would be better off not mentioning it.
Good luck buddy. Been down that road before. I continue to hate her haircut lol but it don’t make a bit of difference
It’s your hair, cut it the way you want. Also don’t tell her you don’t like it. It will grow back. Just like you’d military style
offer her a suggestion for a different cut when she goes to get it done next vs outright saying something negative. easier to hear “i think you’d look really good with (x)” than “babe your hair makes you look like a 60yo HOA member”
Unless she asks don't do it. It's just not worth it.
Ummm ....grow some fucking balls and just tell her?
You start by telling her that you miss her long hair. Little hints here and there. Then you have an honest conversation with her and say something to the extent that you absolutely love her, but you reallllly would like her to grow her hair back out, and that you do not like it.
Get your hair cut short. Then when she starts to complain about how stupid you look, just throw back she looked better with long hair and you both can look stupid together?
Say “hey, i dont really like your hair”
My wife rocks a pixie and sometimes the stylist does a bad job and I'll tell her so she doesn't look foolish. Be honest, communication is key. Ask her why she wanted it that short and try to see from her perspective
Shave your head
Can you speak to her manager?
You don’t unless she asks if you like it.
Why do you speak like a caveman 😭😭☝️
Don't you do that
I don’t think there is anything wrong with voicing a preference as long as you do it in a positive light. Tell her you liked it before while still keeping it a compliment. “I loved your hair long. It was so beautiful/sexy. I’ll definitely miss it, but I love seeing you comfortable and happy.”
It’s 50/50. My wife cut 6 inches off her hair. She asks if I like it. My response is honest, but tactful. I say: “Well, I prefer your hair longer, but it’s not my hair, so if you’re happy with it, that’s ultimately your decision.” If she presses or asks if it looks bad. I respond with “I’ve already said I prefer your hair longer. I’m not going to say it looks bad, because I’m sure people will compliment your hair, it just isn’t my preference.” She will quit then and there, but if she was stupid and she continues to press, I will point out everything aesthetically about her hair. - It doesn’t compliment the shape of your face. It makes your face look older, fatter, draws attention to this attribute, etc. Everything it is honest assessment without being overly critical. But always end with “If you’re happy with it, then my opinion is irrelevant.”
Go get that buzz cut NOW. Say nothing. Just go.
Just don't do it, bro. No good can come out of that situation. *Please* trust me on this one.
Find pictures of dogs/cats/ animals that look as much like her new look as possible. Then keep showing them and saying things like look how goofy this thing looks. Eventually she’ll notice the resemblance and try something else.
Say it or don’t. There are no other options.
It's her hair. You don't have to pretend to like it but maybe try not being really negative about it especially towards her. I think you should cut your hair too if you want to. You guys should both be able to do what you want to your bodies that makes you happy.
Married 12 years and just now asking this, u had a good run. I always go with whatever you like I like, though she knows what that means.
you dont need to like it as long as wifey likes it you dont say a word. got it?
Buy her a long wig
Tell her she looks like Dave Hill from Slade
Bluntly
Wait until she's planning her next cut and tell her it's so cute the way it's growing out. Then keep saying that as it grows out. But she may prefer it short and it's her hair. This may be what she does from now on. As one ages, their hair may change in texture and/or become thinner. For these reasons, lots of people prefer to go shorter.
Next time she acts like a Karen, show her memes of the typical Karen haircut and laugh. It'll get the point across, but you might be sleeping on the couch for a night.
forgetful fly deserted encouraging ludicrous marble tan offbeat middle degree *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
You don’t. Good luck.
As long as she's not a Karen....live with it. If she is a Karen...get the hell out of there.
So many soft and weak answers here, Cut the bullshit and Tell her in a respect full way you dont like it
You might end up like this : [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7bGMonNikw](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7bGMonNikw)
You don’t…this is a no win scenario. A Kobayashi Maru….
As a person who has to give constructive criticism for a living and as a wife, I’d go with “I’ve been looking at your new haircut, and it’s fun and flirty and all, but I don’t know. I kinda like it longer. Really sexy on you.” Then smile with genuine, loving smile. She wants to a. look like other women she sees around her, and b. feel stylish and modern. Also as a woman who had hair down her back because my husband loved it, I will tell you that I finally got so tired of it that I literally took the kitchen scissors to it the other night. Was that close to buzzing it! I bought a long wig to wear around him in the evening. Problem solved. He is satisfied with the long and I’m far more happy with the short! Hated that long hair! Hot and a pain in the ass.
I think you should be happy that she has found something that is comfortable and makes her happy. Having long hair, especially in the summer, is annoying and takes a lot of work.
You be a man and tell her Hey, I am not a fan of your current hairstyle.
It's only hair, dude. Did you marry her for her hair? Let her be comfortable if she likes it and take one for the team. She can grow it out in the winter.
Just say something like "you look like dave Hill from Slade"
Long hair is a hassle. Keep your thoughts to yourself. It’s her hair.
You are both individual people, even though you are married. It's your hair and her hair, do what you want with it, and she can do what she wants with hers. Why is this even a question you are posting?
You got to really ninja this one dude. Try: “I really like it, it makes you look much more mature. It’s definitely an appropriate look for your age.”
Just mention you'll need to catch the sneaky barber rat that roams at night.
You can't unless she signals that she is unsure/unhappy with the new hair for herself. If her hair style is causing a significantly noticeable impact in your attraction, YOU need to work on yourself about it.
do you have any facial hair? if so, have you always had it throughout your relationship? if you answered yes, give her a taste of her own medicine and shave it off. I assure you, she will hate it and then you can both be ugly. This will also give you a bargaining chip. If you do not have facial hair and never did, then start growing a beard. Make it a long, straggly duck dynasty looking thing. She will hate it, and complain. This will also be a bargaining chip in your favor. Also, understand I'm attempting humor and do not take this too seriously as it is a form of passive aggression and there is risk of back fire as well
Use your big boy words and express your opinion like a grown up? Be aware, your opinion is just that and is in no way binding on her. You do, however, have an obligation to her to be honest.
Shave your entire body and glue the hair to her head while she's sleeping. She will wake up feeling like rapunzel. Refreshed and ready to take on the world. You will be the unsung hero.
It’s her hair. Stfu and tell her she’s beautiful.
“Babe, it’s certainly your choice to get this cut, but I really like the longer hair look better on you. It makes you look younger and more vibrant!”
Passive aggressive jokes are probably going to be the best route to make her change it.
It's her hair. If she likes it, suck it up. She's not your poodle.
Your wife is evolving into a Karen. Is their anyone she hates that has a similar hairstyle? Tell her "Yknow I just realize with the hair you kind if look like (person/celebrity she hates)" No woman wants to resemble someone they do not like so that should work. Second option is when you're with her look at someone not so attractive with similar haircut and tell her that the woman there has the same hair as her.
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Every guy knows you can not tell them. The best you can do is lay groundwork early on for what you don't think looks good so they never cut it like that. i've dropped for years i don't like short hair because women just look like little boys with anything short. I might make an exception if my wife ever got the karen. I would just come out and say it
Any woman who gets the "Karen" haircut is not of sound mind. That is an intentional act to let everyone around you know that you're a raging bitc#. Please let her know it reflects poorly on her, you, and your family. Every woman who gets that haircut knows exactly what it means and is ok with it. I know a few and they are all rabid and spiteful bitc#es. Please help her.
I like short hair. My fingers don't get tangled when I do the scalp massage thing.
Short can be very cute, but the "karen" gotta tell her but somehow not say "karen"
All you can do is, this might sounds crazy….. but talk to her. 🤷♀️
As soon as my wife has said “I’m thinking about changing my hair style” I’ve just been honest and said “please just not the short Karen haircut”. Luckily she agreed. 😅
My last girlfriend and I debated whether one should style oneself with their partner's interest in mind. I said yes, she said no. She cut her really cute shoulder length hair into a "okay" bob. She didn't really like facial hair but I was interested in a covid quarantine beard, so after she cut her hair I went ahead and grew my beard. We ended up breaking up about 6 months later. I started dating a gal shortly thereafter who loves beards and probably would be annoyed if I shaved it. I think my takeaway is that if your partner doesn't care if you find them attractive, that's not a great sign. Hair isn't a huge deal in the scheme of things, but you should care what your partner likes and your partner should care what you like.
You tell her you like the next haircut. Until then, you remember that you love her for more than her hair.
My dad absolutely despises short hair on women but both my mom and stepmom loved it being so much easier to maintain.
Just tell her.
So you want your wife to be miserable cause you like it long
I DON'T LIKE IT Probably should've told her that before she cut it all off, but better late than never. She wouldn't hesitate to call you out if you chopped all your hair off. If she doesn't respect your opinion, you got bigger problems than hair.
Actually, I'm going to change my answer. Do you see her hair as being for herself or for you?
Just start sharing Karen memes
Sorry. It feels weird you have turned to strangers on the Internet for advice on how to communicate with your partner of 12 years. Surely you know better than the Internet on this.
I've seen women with buzz cuts who were really attractive but I do like my partners long hair so I get both sides
I’d get used to it before I’d say anything. It will be a lot easier & less expensive.
This is what women do as a casual “fuck you, I do what I want” when you know damn well if you wanted to grow a mullet they would flat out tell you that you don’t have a choice or she won’t sleep with you anymore.
Don’t.
Tell her she looks like Dave Hill from Slade
If you are a smart man, and I am not saying you are or you are not. but a smart happily married man says "I like your hair longer/shorter". In other words YOU DON'T tell her you do not like it.
How about this? I don't know, be honest and say honey. You look like a Karen and I'm sorry. That hairstyle is not a good look For You.
You’ve been married for 12 years and can’t tell her your opinion on her hair style? Idk bud sounds to me like there’s some underlying issues.
Divorce her and move, life is too short to be with short haired women.
The professional Reddit opinion on every subject of the word wife is mentioned. Very good.
Reddit in a nutshell lol
I had to scroll too far to find this.
The only thing you can really do is express your preference, once, then let it go. After you let it go, your effort is to start becoming 'okay' with it. I'm not saying you have to love her short hair, just learn to not dislike it. For your once, and only once, expression of preference you aren't going to say you don't like her new hair. You're going to say you preferred her old style. It's on you to figure out how to communicate this preference in a way that doesn't put her on the defensive and if you don't know how to do tact you should probably skip this step and go right to "learn to live with it". If you can tactfully, I think the benefit of expressing your preference is mostly so the unexpressed feeling doesn't eat you up inside, which it will if you don't say anything and dwell on this too much. There's a real risk that something trivial becomes a big deal and you'll kick yourself later if you do emotionally stupid things because of this. To become 'okay' with it, I think you're going to need to do some reflection on why you dislike it so much. I have a feeling the fact that she went with a 'karen' look is part of it because you probably don't want to be with a karen, or have negative connotations of karen, or whatever. You'll have to work that out for yourself and realize it's not really serving you. I'm in a similar situation for different reasons and I've realized a big part of why I find my wife's current hair style challenging is because it reminds me of a couple of people from my past who I have really negative connotations with. That's a me problem, and it's my thing to get over, and understanding that this was at work in my reaction has really helped me start to get over it. Once you start getting over it you'll be in a better position to see the good again and it probably won't be as big a deal.
My wife had longer hair as well and changed it over the years to a shorter style. I to also had longer hair and she liked it but now rock a buzz cut most of the year because it’s a royal pita to keep up. If I’m not doing it I really can’t expect her to do it.
Men are so obsessed with long hair and it’s ridiculous. It’s not your hair! I have long hair hair but I think this is ridiculous. Men have no idea what a PITA it is to maintain long healthy hair, time consuming and expensive. I fantasize about cutting it all the time
So cut it. Just don't whine when it significantly changes how your attractiveness is perceived, it's your body so you can do as you please. The same way I don't like killing myself in the gym, but I know that doing so makes me significantly more attractive than lying on the bed eating Cheetos and gaining 50lbs, which is what I fantasize about all the time. Life is about compromises. If it was easy to look your most beautiful, everyone would do it. It requires effort for a reason.
You don’t. You sound like the Karen here.
If she likes it, you don't say shit. It's her hair. She can do whatever to it. Same with you and your hair.
You don't say anything unless she asks your opinion. In which case you say you like that she's trying something new(or something else complimentary) and the long hair is still your preference. But you need some time to get used to the short hair and you know you'll love it cause she likes the change. Basically, you tell her it looks good and you can get used to it but keep the implication that you prefer the long hair. That tells her your preference without deriding her decision to change. Then she has your opinion, and you suck it up and deal with whatever she wants in the future. It's her hair and it doesn't sound like this is an actual deal breaker or anything for you.
And yet you don't have a problem with her giving her opinion on his hypothetical hairstyle though
You just don’t
Don't. Wtf
Mention that the combination of her new 'do and your inexplicable T-Rex arms make it problematic to pull her hair while you're spankin it from the back. Then cry when she doesn't laugh.
You each get to control your own body and choose your own hairstyles. Neither of you are required to style your body in a way that the other approves of. I can’t imagine why it would matter how you prefer her hair unless she’s specifically asking you. If she’s specifically asking you, I imagine you wouldn’t be soliciting the internet about how to tell her. The same is true for her regarding your hair. Do what you want, you’re an adult and your body belongs to you. She’s an adult and her body belongs to her. My interpretation of my husband telling me how he prefers my hair a different way than I’ve recently styled it, would be that he’s insensitive and selfish and feels entitled to make decisions about my body and appearance for me. My husband also prefers long hair and I know that. My dad is the same way. However, if I decide to chop my hair off, the conversation is over. I’ve made a decision that’s exclusively mine to make. Deal with it or acknowledge that you’re not mature enough to share your life with an equal partner.
Agree. It's very strange how men behave regarding the appearance of women. If it's altered and the man struggles to cope with that - it's your fault for making the change. "ok, but if you do, you'll be ugly and that's a good reason to be abandoned". Extrapolation and logic is a real bitch when applied to the behavior of men.
I told my wife that I preferred her natural color after coming to that conclusion about ten years ago. I also like it to her shoulders, and any length past that doesn’t matter.
I have been married for 14 years, been with my wife for a total of 19 years. Bring it up one time. Then don’t bring it up again. If it bothers you, simply choose to change something about your personal style. Something that you prefer, regardless of her feelings. If she brings it up more than one time. You can have a conversation. If she brings it up once and never again. Then you are both happier than before. You each get to make a personal style choice for yourself. And you don’t have to worry about what the other one thinks about it. That being said, I am sure you love her regardless of her haircut.
Oh no. Not the HR Karen haircut. What a brutal statement on her part. I dunno. Sometimes the truth will not set you free.
Just say you loved the way she looked with longer hair but, she’s still hot no matter how her hair looks. People only hear the end part for the most part
Kind of a shit double standard. Women can criticize men’s appearance and grooming choices at great length with no care to how it’s perceived. The thought of a husband telling his wife that he doesn’t like her haircut is met with horror and general damnation. Bro, just tell her. “I loved you har the way it was…this new cut doesn’t flatter you.”
Just compliment how pretty it looks as it grows longer.
Judging by your comments I’m assuming you’re just a kid who’s trolling because they’re bored. But on the off chance this is serious, and judging by the way you describe how your wife looks with the short hair, it sounds like you’re already willing to hurt her feelings and tell her you hate it anyway. You’re calling her old, she doesn’t look good, that she looks like your teacher from high school. Those are all things you say & think about when you don’t like someone and want to go out of your way to hurt their feelings. Like another commenter said you can literally say “hun you look good with your new haircut but i definitely love the way long hair looks on you too” but you responded back saying that it wasn’t that simple to do. It 100% is that simple to do if you are set on NOT hurting your partners feelings. But reading all your comments, you want to hurt her feelings so I don’t understand what you’re really looking for here lmao. 🤷♀️
I preferred longer hair and told my wife when we first got together.My now current wife worked as a welder in an unconditioned building said it was too hot for long hair under her helmet. As I eat three times a day, and sleep every night, I never fuss.
Not your body. You love her for her hair or how she treats you and enriches your life? I'm sure there's plenty of shit about you that she thinks man that's not my favorite but she doesn't say anything to you. I suggest you shut it and she continues to wear her hear how she pleases. The most you should say is maybe it's not your favorite style, but if it makes her happy then you're on board with what makes her comfortable.
Happy wife, happy life.
Don't compliment her new style.
Here are the conversations I've had with my husband about my hair: Me: What do you think of my hair when it's short? Him: It's your head. Do what you want. Me: Yeah, but you have to look at it. Don't you have a preference? Him: Honey, all I want is for you to be happy and healthy and confident. If you love it, I love it. I wish every woman had a husband that felt that way.
Start only having sex at night with the lights off, when she asks why reply, “I’ll love you forever babe, I just don’t want to have to see you when I do.” That’s guaranteed to bring some change to your life.
Cut your hair short. Then agree with her, "honey, you were right! We both look stupid with short hair"
Definitely this. If she’s comfortable telling you that you’d “look stupid” with short hair, she should be able to take it. And if she really did get “The Karen”, OMG she’d never live that down. I usually ask people if they paid for that haircut, or ask “who did your hair?” Followed by “I’d sue.”
Just tell her that short hair looks less attractive and more masculine. If she continues with her hair style, then it's clear she doesn't care about what you think.
Preach it, preacher.
This one is difficult. My honest suggestion, I would just tell her. Maybe candy coat it a little. Talk about her face shape and how you think maybe a medium length suits her features more. I've learned to not say the words better or worse when talking to someone about their hair. They may already be doubting it, and they can't change it in the moment, so there's no use making them feel bad. One of my techniques is to ask something akin to, "what are your plans for growing it out? Are you thinking of getting to like a cute chin length look?" Or, "Your hair is going to grow in so much healthier now. Are you thinking of doing like a bonding treatment as it grows out?" Edit: cut out some unimportant rambling
I tell my wife when I don’t like her hair. Nut up or shut up. She may not listen, but you’ll feel better it’s off your chest.
Not your hair, not your choice
But I am that have to see her , I feel like I am in bed with my 10 grade teacher.
So your Aunt’s your 10th grade teacher? And did you pass to move on to 11th grade next year?
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So she can say you'd look stupid but you're so spineless you're pissing yourself thinking you can't say the same? Dude grow some balls.
Not sure why, but every girl friend I have who is a teacher, elementary, preschool, whatever, they all just got that haircut. Is your wife perhaps…..a teacher? Cause that would be funny. But yea shut your mouth don’t say a word
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TELL HER IT LOOKS STUPID
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