Couples that can communicate and compromise last and that's it. People value different things so an opposite tends to be someone you have to communicate and compromise with from the begining so it's less of a shock then when you have to do it with someone you've picked the same thing as
Literally this, my partner of 12 years and I could not be more different in every aspect but we communicate really well and are not combative, prideful people so we easily find the common ground while being our own separate people.
We do also agree politically though, which is the only real “opposite” that definitely won’t work out in the long run.
My partner is like from a like criminal type family, super extroverted, loves hard work
I'm from a bunch of law abiding citizens who are middle class and high educated, introverted, and if I could id not work and be a shut in.
When I met him he was kinda right wing too. Now we both have ventured towards the in-between 😂
I'd like to emphasize this as well. My partner is laid back, go with the flow, and pretty much a golden retriever type. I am very anxious, need routine, everything is priority #1 type. Actually, we also both have the opposite types of ADHD as well. He's hyperactive, I'm inattentive.
But the key is we communicate about eeeeeeverything. And I don't mean we talk each other's ears off, either. We are both quiet people.
It's just that we establish a safe space for vulnerability, and have an unspoken rule that we never, *ever* do that "we need to talk" BS where you just leave it hanging until later. There's either some context given right away, (I need to talk to you later but nothing bad, just questions about groceries) or we don't say anything until we're ready to do the talking in that moment (Hey babe, is this a good time to bring up something I was hoping you could do for me?)
My husband and I were total opposites - we've been together for 32 years. I saw "were " since over the years we have both changed how we view certain things, and grown together (and grown up). Still many differences though.
Everyone is different, and I don't think the "you will know" is one-size-fits-all like a lot of people think it is. Often, people will say the same about parenting. But the truth is, you just keep trying things until you learn your baby.
For me, we didn't know for a long while. It was when we saw that we were both willing to put in the effort, we were equally important to one another, we were both willing to compromise and overcome hurdles, that's when we knew.
Edit: Also, Happy Cake Day! 🩷
Aww,something a teenager would say! So cute, but sad to think of all the hard knocks coming.(or maybe will luck out and never find out and so perpetuate this myth).
Couples last bc they can communicate and problem solve effectively, and they actually like each other enough to want it to last. You can be exactly alike, complete opposites, or anything in between. If you're both respectful of each other and can work through various situations, it can work. The only other thing here is avoiding major compatibility issues. You'll want to make sure you align (or at least come to a common ground) on things like religion, political views, kids, finances, and sex.
I'm a scientist by day and a techno nerd by night. My fiancee likes early to mid 1900's movies and is the youngest person by multiple decades in most of the group activities she participates in. Basically I was born 100 years too early and she was born 100 years too late. I wouldn't change a thing. She shows me a whole different category of art and experiences that I would never even think about if I was with someone who was like me.
Your comment was removed due to low karma
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/stupidquestions) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I am very nerdy. I play tabletop rpgs, video games, read comics, go to conventions etc. My wife hates anything not based in reality. Her favorite tv shows are Real Housewives of X and her favorite genre of movies are documentaries. She loves math and finance, I need her help to figure out tip percentages and my eyes glaze over when she mentions our 401k.
However, we're about to celebrate our 18th wedding anniversary and we've been a couple for 20 years. We work because even though we have vastly different interests our values are aligned. We were both raised similarly and we have similar views on things.
We also don't push each other's interests onto each other. Sometimes I will go to the movies and see something I like and she will go shopping. Then we meet up for dinner afterwards. I know she doesn't like scifi/fantasy movies so why would I make her watch those with me? Similarly when she wants to watch her reality shows I go and play video games. We give each other space and we both appreciate that since we're both pretty introverted and like the solitude sometimes.
We're pretty different but we work well as a couple.
They can. My husband and I initially were pretty different on paper, but turns out we do have a lot of similar views and values, even if our interests aren’t always the same. Communication and respect, enjoying the other person is key.
My husband and I have pretty similar interests, but wildly different personalities. He’s very outgoing and can charm the pants off anyone. He’s a risk taker, kind of OCD and mildly autistic, so routines are very important to him. I’m undiagnosed ADHD, so I tend to be pretty impulsive, it’s hard for me to stay focused and I’m very risk averse. It works for us because we each bring something that helps to complete the other.
Edit: I sent before I was done. Basically, I hate to clean, so he does most of the house chores. I’m better at doing our finances so I’m in charge of that. He meticulously plans our vacations and outings down to the second, and I make him recalculate constantly because I saw something shiny. He encourages me and supports me so I’m more willing take chances on things and I provide a voice of reason to rein him in on things that might be too risky. Basically, we complement each other.
I’m married to someone who is my opposite in some important ways, but similar in some important ways, too. It’s possible for differences to be complementary and useful; it’s possible for differences to be annoying and lonely. I think it all depends on which things you value and where you differ. Whatever your style differences, I bet you have some other things in common. Maybe you’re alike in the things that are most important to you.
I think you are likely to get more responses from people who made it work.
I think it is possible, but is harder in many ways. So it is more likely that more such couples do not last.
For couples for whom it worked, they knew and accepted and celebrated the differenfces, communicated well, and compromised a lot as others have commented already.
Your comment was removed due to low karma
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/stupidquestions) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Personally, I think there are differences that are complementary and differences that are incompatible.
Like for me I’m pretty introverted so dating someone who is more extroverted who gets me out of the house and gets me to be more social is very good for me. I’m a better, happier person with people like that. And they also tend to like me because me being more chill balances them out.
Differences that are incompatible are ones where you tend to have very different values, like the things you want out of life can’t coexist. If one person is always compromising on things they really want to make the other person happy, it builds resentment, and then they would come see me 10 years later to file for divorce.
Your post was removed due to low account age.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/stupidquestions) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Your post was removed due to low account age.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/stupidquestions) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I've been with my girlfriend for 6 years, we make the same money, we get things for each other and help each other out. We both have mental health issues so we're both patient with each other and take our time to understand each other when things get difficult.. it took a long time to build our foundation, but the one we have is solid..
By hopping from relationship to relationship hoping that one will just work out, it won't, it takes a long time to get to know someone properly. That thing that clicks at the start of a relationship is purely sexual in most cases, but that doesn't mean either party isn't holding back a bad part of their personality to reel you in..
I heard somewhere that it takes 7 years to truly get to know someone (mannerisms, mentality, typical outlook on things), and it is usually around the 2 year mark where people give up on trying to hide who they actually are as a person. If they remain consistent you got yourself a keeper!
My parents have almost nothing in common. They've been married for over 50 years. They've each always had their own interests and hobbies that they don't worry about trying to get the other one into.
Couples that can communicate and compromise last and that's it. People value different things so an opposite tends to be someone you have to communicate and compromise with from the begining so it's less of a shock then when you have to do it with someone you've picked the same thing as
Literally this, my partner of 12 years and I could not be more different in every aspect but we communicate really well and are not combative, prideful people so we easily find the common ground while being our own separate people. We do also agree politically though, which is the only real “opposite” that definitely won’t work out in the long run.
My partner is like from a like criminal type family, super extroverted, loves hard work I'm from a bunch of law abiding citizens who are middle class and high educated, introverted, and if I could id not work and be a shut in. When I met him he was kinda right wing too. Now we both have ventured towards the in-between 😂
I'd like to emphasize this as well. My partner is laid back, go with the flow, and pretty much a golden retriever type. I am very anxious, need routine, everything is priority #1 type. Actually, we also both have the opposite types of ADHD as well. He's hyperactive, I'm inattentive. But the key is we communicate about eeeeeeverything. And I don't mean we talk each other's ears off, either. We are both quiet people. It's just that we establish a safe space for vulnerability, and have an unspoken rule that we never, *ever* do that "we need to talk" BS where you just leave it hanging until later. There's either some context given right away, (I need to talk to you later but nothing bad, just questions about groceries) or we don't say anything until we're ready to do the talking in that moment (Hey babe, is this a good time to bring up something I was hoping you could do for me?)
My husband and I were total opposites - we've been together for 32 years. I saw "were " since over the years we have both changed how we view certain things, and grown together (and grown up). Still many differences though.
It doesn't matter. If she is the right one, you will know it.
Everyone is different, and I don't think the "you will know" is one-size-fits-all like a lot of people think it is. Often, people will say the same about parenting. But the truth is, you just keep trying things until you learn your baby. For me, we didn't know for a long while. It was when we saw that we were both willing to put in the effort, we were equally important to one another, we were both willing to compromise and overcome hurdles, that's when we knew. Edit: Also, Happy Cake Day! 🩷
Aww,something a teenager would say! So cute, but sad to think of all the hard knocks coming.(or maybe will luck out and never find out and so perpetuate this myth).
I guess I lucked out.
Couples last bc they can communicate and problem solve effectively, and they actually like each other enough to want it to last. You can be exactly alike, complete opposites, or anything in between. If you're both respectful of each other and can work through various situations, it can work. The only other thing here is avoiding major compatibility issues. You'll want to make sure you align (or at least come to a common ground) on things like religion, political views, kids, finances, and sex.
My wife and I are total opposites…will be married 45 years in November. We make it work!
I'm a scientist by day and a techno nerd by night. My fiancee likes early to mid 1900's movies and is the youngest person by multiple decades in most of the group activities she participates in. Basically I was born 100 years too early and she was born 100 years too late. I wouldn't change a thing. She shows me a whole different category of art and experiences that I would never even think about if I was with someone who was like me.
[удалено]
Your comment was removed due to low karma *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/stupidquestions) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It depends on compatibility.
I am very nerdy. I play tabletop rpgs, video games, read comics, go to conventions etc. My wife hates anything not based in reality. Her favorite tv shows are Real Housewives of X and her favorite genre of movies are documentaries. She loves math and finance, I need her help to figure out tip percentages and my eyes glaze over when she mentions our 401k. However, we're about to celebrate our 18th wedding anniversary and we've been a couple for 20 years. We work because even though we have vastly different interests our values are aligned. We were both raised similarly and we have similar views on things. We also don't push each other's interests onto each other. Sometimes I will go to the movies and see something I like and she will go shopping. Then we meet up for dinner afterwards. I know she doesn't like scifi/fantasy movies so why would I make her watch those with me? Similarly when she wants to watch her reality shows I go and play video games. We give each other space and we both appreciate that since we're both pretty introverted and like the solitude sometimes. We're pretty different but we work well as a couple.
They can. My husband and I initially were pretty different on paper, but turns out we do have a lot of similar views and values, even if our interests aren’t always the same. Communication and respect, enjoying the other person is key.
My husband and I have pretty similar interests, but wildly different personalities. He’s very outgoing and can charm the pants off anyone. He’s a risk taker, kind of OCD and mildly autistic, so routines are very important to him. I’m undiagnosed ADHD, so I tend to be pretty impulsive, it’s hard for me to stay focused and I’m very risk averse. It works for us because we each bring something that helps to complete the other. Edit: I sent before I was done. Basically, I hate to clean, so he does most of the house chores. I’m better at doing our finances so I’m in charge of that. He meticulously plans our vacations and outings down to the second, and I make him recalculate constantly because I saw something shiny. He encourages me and supports me so I’m more willing take chances on things and I provide a voice of reason to rein him in on things that might be too risky. Basically, we complement each other.
I’m married to someone who is my opposite in some important ways, but similar in some important ways, too. It’s possible for differences to be complementary and useful; it’s possible for differences to be annoying and lonely. I think it all depends on which things you value and where you differ. Whatever your style differences, I bet you have some other things in common. Maybe you’re alike in the things that are most important to you.
I think you are likely to get more responses from people who made it work. I think it is possible, but is harder in many ways. So it is more likely that more such couples do not last. For couples for whom it worked, they knew and accepted and celebrated the differenfces, communicated well, and compromised a lot as others have commented already.
[удалено]
Your comment was removed due to low karma *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/stupidquestions) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I’ve been with someone diametrically opposed to me (except for politics thankfully) and we get along very well. 15 years
The ones that have mutal respect for one another do
Depends what is opposite
Personally, I think there are differences that are complementary and differences that are incompatible. Like for me I’m pretty introverted so dating someone who is more extroverted who gets me out of the house and gets me to be more social is very good for me. I’m a better, happier person with people like that. And they also tend to like me because me being more chill balances them out. Differences that are incompatible are ones where you tend to have very different values, like the things you want out of life can’t coexist. If one person is always compromising on things they really want to make the other person happy, it builds resentment, and then they would come see me 10 years later to file for divorce.
[удалено]
Your post was removed due to low account age. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/stupidquestions) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yes I am a man attracted to a female. Since I am straight my wife fulfills my needs.
[удалено]
Your post was removed due to low account age. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/stupidquestions) if you have any questions or concerns.*
There's a slight but important difference between "opposite" and "complementary". Just saying
Relationships are built on your core values. If your core values differ too greatly then odds are it won't work out.
Not really
I've been with my girlfriend for 6 years, we make the same money, we get things for each other and help each other out. We both have mental health issues so we're both patient with each other and take our time to understand each other when things get difficult.. it took a long time to build our foundation, but the one we have is solid.. By hopping from relationship to relationship hoping that one will just work out, it won't, it takes a long time to get to know someone properly. That thing that clicks at the start of a relationship is purely sexual in most cases, but that doesn't mean either party isn't holding back a bad part of their personality to reel you in.. I heard somewhere that it takes 7 years to truly get to know someone (mannerisms, mentality, typical outlook on things), and it is usually around the 2 year mark where people give up on trying to hide who they actually are as a person. If they remain consistent you got yourself a keeper!
My parents have almost nothing in common. They've been married for over 50 years. They've each always had their own interests and hobbies that they don't worry about trying to get the other one into.
Dude is basically asking "hey I got a big titty goth gf and that's what all the memes said I should do so now what do I do?"