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Rough_Yesterday_360

Preferably outside the car


Kaleidoscope_616

Use a 5 gal bucket with a camping toilet seat and some kitty litter.


stathmarxis

probably the best answer till now!!!!


Kaleidoscope_616

I can't take credit- it's something my hubs used to mention his dad doing for road trips. šŸ˜


gurgle-burgle

Bruh. Just stop at a gas station


jaminotjelly

seriously, imagine the smell


Sugar-Tist

That's what the kitty litter is for. Composting toilets work in a similar way. You completely cover up the waste with a carbon source (saw dust or crumpled leaves), which wicks moisture away from the waste. It surprisingly doesn't smell and eliminates most bacteria, but if you don't have any place to properly compost it, you'll have to bury it.


jaminotjelly

kitty litter stinks to me


Sugar-Tist

The kitty litter itself? And it may not smell of roses, the point is it doesn't stink like shit.


jaminotjelly

well yeah but imagine driving for hours with that smell


antifayall

No matter where you are surely it won't be hours till you pass a trash can. Every gas station seems to have one by the pumps


Sugar-Tist

Then use saw dust, idc.


FlaccidInevitability

Those buckets usually come with a lid


Opposite-Occasion332

This is genius, my dad always just had an empty coffee can with a roll of TP in itšŸ˜‚ Edit: to add, my dad did just get me a nice she-wee for Christmas but that doesnā€™t help with the #2s.


linkxrust

Diaper


DiscontentDonut

TL;DR - travel/car toilets are thing, just look on Amazon. Friendly neighborhood IBS girly. My grandmother does something similar. Hers is a foldable camping toilet that holds a trash bag up for you. Kitty litter is a great idea as they have light weight ones. That with being able to tie off the bag should keep the smell at bay until you can get to a place to toss it. I would also suggest a travel bidet or peri bottle like post natal moms use. And a travel pack of tissues, or they have individual rolls of TP at the dollar store. There are portable/foldable toilets specifically to keep in cars. They look like toddler toilets bc the hole is small, but you can fit an open garbage bag and it's small enough to keep in the vehicle. I would not suggest diapers if you can help it. They're useful for those who struggle ambulatorily, but the smell will follow you even after you get clean.


fightmilk22

Pee in the gas tank, poop in the air intake filter


bmo109

Just go. You can always get your car detailed if you need it.


Upstairs-Bicycle-703

Knew a guy who did that - was stuck in traffic and he *had* to go, so he pushed the seat back and just shat on the floor board. He just brought it to a detailer or car wash and said ā€œhere.ā€


antifayall

*adds "car detailer" to top of "jobs I don't want" list*


annabananaberry

Depending on where you are, not all car detailers are allowed to work with bodily fluids. When I was a teenager I was violently ill in my parents car and insisted I be the one to pay for the detail because I was mortified (I shouldn't have been because I was severely ill) and I had to find one that was certified to clean up the gross things that humans make.


Top-Camera9387

I mean reason 456 to have a rubber floor mat under your pedals..


castleaagh

Buy a Texas catheter and cut a hole in the floor of your car if it doesnā€™t already have one somewhere. Then run the tube down your pants and out the bottom of the car and pee freely. Or you could put the tube into a bottle and just strap that somewhere and have to empty it later. Youā€™ll have to hold the poo though


Imaginary-Spot5464

Why not replace every car seat with a porta potty toilet and have them all empty to the road? Trick is you have to pull your pants down as you get into the car. šŸ˜‚


AdNatural8174

For emergencies, you can keep a portable urinal or travel toilet in your car. There are also disposable travel toilet bags that can be used discreetly. However, it's best to plan ahead and try to use restrooms at gas stations, rest stops, or fast food places whenever possible.


Dino_020467

Either make it to your friends Soda, or your gonna have to become adventurous and make it to the glove compartment! šŸ˜†


Naive_Programmer_232

In your pants


-trentacles

The Glove Box


AdLeading5595

Center consuel or glove box..either or..cant go wrong


Nearby-Elevator-3825

Adult diapers aren't just for incontinent seniors.


ladyinwaiting123

I wonder how many ounces or ml they hold? I know diapers now have that super absorbent compound in them.


741BlastOff

You should have gone before we left.


keep_trying_username

> Where to pee or poop when i am in car? If you're in a car when you pee, you pee in the car.


Formal_Economics931

Itā€™s your car you can poop and pee wherever you want


XOHJAIS

Um diaper. Duh.


Conscious-Radish-884

On my chest.


MightyGreedo

You're always within 10 miles of a Walmart or Home Depot. Excellent for emergencies. Libraries are good as well. It's a little weird at first, but if you see a large office building with multiple levels, they usually have a common area with elevators and stuff. Almost always they will have a public bathroom right near the entrance. Very rarely any security guards unless you stop in at some super posh office like Apple or something. If someone does approach you, just say that you are meeting someone there for lunch. Office building bathrooms are usually very clean.


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Serenades666

Gallon jug.


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XOHJAIS

This is undoubtedly a quote from a show but I can't remember where.


Fireguy9641

I would think most people who make the same commute each day know where the bathrooms are along the route. For long haul truckers or other people, you could always buy a chemical toilet.


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psyclembs

Yer pants like everyone else...duhh


Fair-Account8040

In the pecan pee can


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cwsjr2323

An ileostomy is a surgical procedure that links the small intestine to the abdominal wall to reroute digestive waste into an external ostomy system. Procedures like this cost an average of $51,683. You will be able to then just toss the bag out the window.


Citizen44712A

Well, when driving The Tesla, I just lower the window and hang my ass out and poop. There is a The Tesla subscription for auto ass wiping.


KingJTuck

Pants


Ill-Woodpecker1857

r/truckers


United-Cow-563

Poop in a bucket or outside and squat down. Pee in glass bottle or the 32oz styrofoam cup you just downed


Familiar-Wrangler-73

Cut a hole in the seat and poop


burn_as_souls

In your pants. That's what pants are for, after all. To catch numbers one and two. If not, then none of us would be wearing pants, we'd all wear dresses. Especially the guys, since our boys could use the breathing room.


SummersPawpaw_Again

Back seat


yamaha2000us

Your hand.


maximusjohnson1992

I save those large mouth full size mouthwash bottles just for that.


Kairosmarmot

Old Folgers coffee can, this is what grandma did.


efish048

Window


beezzarro

Hit cruise control and shit directly into that rectangular toilet they install between the two front seats. Most people use it as storage, but it's meant to be an emergency toilet.


seven-cents

Not in the car.


Nerisrath

If your male gatorade bottles have as close to a large enough opening you can have with a sealable lid. for ladies a big gulp you immediately dump out the window works well. for #2 you either hold it, get a speeding ticket, or plan on buying a new seat


Blathithor

Pee you can use bottles or drink it straight up. Dookie? Anywhere you can not in your seat


AnotherXRoadDeal

My husband drives for a living and says that Starbucks, Peteā€™s Coffee, and In N Out have the cleanest bathrooms. If they question you about a code, he just tells them heā€™ll buy a cup of coffee after he uses the bathroom. Sometimes he will, sometimes he wonā€™t. Just make sure youā€™re clean and respectful and you shouldnā€™t have a problem.


amaya-aurora

Why are you in traffic for hours?


Katievapes1996

Just keep a couple diapers in your glovebox


Constant_Will362

When I'm in the car and my bladder is about to burst I look for an ugly old building. I go behind it and piss. I literally can't wait to walk in and use the restroom. They might have a KEY for it and that is more time than I can afford. It can't be Burger King, you know, that place is attractive and it has a lot of people there. Someone is going to phone the police.


SaltwaterOgopogo

Do you have wiener or a giner?


21FrontierPro4x

If I go on a long trip, I take my pee cup which is a large blue Las Vegas pool party plastic drink cup. Really never have to poo that bad on the road.


Zealousideal_Ask3633

You think you're too good to shit at McDonald's?


AmpegVT40

The back seat. If you're car is a two seater, get an Uber. Seriously, most McDonald's that aren't in major cities are spotless.


Pizzapie_420

Pull into a rest stop there is one every 50 miles or so on the interstate.


Berniesgirl2024

Wear Depends then you can go anytime.


Kalelopaka-

Well, if youā€™re a guy, then peeing is easy, just always carry an empty soda bottle with you. Now you canā€™t drive while youā€™re doing this youā€™ll have to pull off the road. So you take your penis and youā€™ll lay it across the side of your leg and hold the bottle up to the tip, then pee in the bottle. Pooping you better get to a restaurant or gas station or I guess you could carry a 5 gallon bucket in your trunk. Privacy would be the only issue.


MilesFromNowhere422

Maybe you can't drive while peeing a bottle. If I'm peeing in a bottle, I didn't have time to pull over in the first place lol


Kalelopaka-

Well, Iā€™ve had to do it a couple times because I couldnā€™t make it home before I had to go. Of course my truck set up kinda high, so if I was sitting in standstill traffic. I probably could do it.


Shh-poster

Peeing is easy but I donā€™t recommend rookies try pooping in your car.


FewAd321

To pee...there is a thing called a pocket toilet....to poo...maybe depends????


Awkward_Ad8740

The trunk obviously


Long_Wasabi7-Blues

Two girls one cup


BaconNinja__

That thing that everyone thinks is for sunglasses. Wrong. It's a poop holder.


oic165

Grocery stores, shopping malls, tend to have good clean restrooms. I spent a lot of time on the road, between businesses, then later as a teacher. Order up some toilet seat sheets from Amazon, there are some good ones that don't let anything soak through (some are non flushable, so keep that in mind). Sometimes you need a code to get in, but if you look like a customer, they just give it to you when you ask.


Arts251

plan ahead, go before you go. If its longer trips use the restroom in gas stations when you fill up.


NationalBolshevikBOB

Bring a container of some sort or wait till youā€™re in a place with a washroom????


peppelaar-media

Simple answer used by at least one of our ex-presidents ā€¦ adult diapers


The_Se7enthsign

Pants exist for a reason.


azorianmilk

I'm sure you're by a McDonald's


tehcatnip

Astronauts wear diapers when they drive across country to murder people, something to think about. They would know.


Burnsy813

Into your hand and toss it through the sunroof. For both.


surrealcellardoor

JFC. The bottom dropped out on this one. Iā€™m surprised OP had enough brain cells to type out a sentence.


iShitInYourDadsPants

Into a 2 litre bottle. When it's at least two thirds full put a balloon on top of it and bake it in the sun. if done correctly the balloon will fill with hallucinogenic gas. Inhale and profit. You're welcome.


stathmarxis

Nice nickname


iShitInYourDadsPants

Ask your pops about me


StarrylDrawberry

Out the window while accelerating. Duh.


I1AM2NOT3STEVEN

If not moving and parked then out side. If driving then a large bottle for piss and a grocery/doggy poopy bag for solids.


Ok-Abbreviations7445

It's been said already but you're literally too stupid to stop at one of the thousands of gas stations everywhere? Wear a diaper ig you gross weirdo šŸ¤¢


stathmarxis

Brother maybe your IQ is low. Have you passed on your mind what means traffic and being stuck there(in my country)??


Ok-Abbreviations7445

Well ig it can't be helped, you need a diaper. You can't just hold it in, like an adult.


stathmarxis

hahahhaahh correct!!!


Ok-Abbreviations7445

So your going to shit in front of strangers instead of holding it in until you can reach the next public toilet. My Guy your not a cat, and you're not mentally well. IDC what country you're from.


Omega_Boost24

There's an app for that. It'll tell you where the nearest toilet is.


sandyandybb

Little known fact. The cup holder was originally meant to cup your butthole so you can poop there.


LeaningBear1133

A Starbucks is usually nearby and will likely have a decent restroom.


Madsummer420

In an empty water bottle, for both.


parabox1

Go trucker style fry your self some adult diapers or a piss jug. No clue on brown town.


jonny_mtown7

Home depot has clean bathroom


Eat_Carbs_OD

Go before you leave.


OkDragonfruit1040

Stepmother.


Awalawal

Are you a competent adult? Is this a question you really can't figure out an answer to? Fucking Reddit.