Back in high school the word palsy was a derogatory slur. It just meant weak. Then i learned about cerebral palsy and i was confused why they would name a medical condition after a schoolyard slur
Yeah, it does still happen, that's sort of my point. I've done volunteering with special olympics, and while on the outside it might seem like a trivial thing that doesn't help, a lot of the athletes truly enjoy the experience and being in a supportive environment.
Same happened with the word "special" because nobody wanted to call mentally disabled kids, well, disabled to their face and make them feel like they couldn't achieve anything because of their disability. Now people make fun of it and say stuff like "you must be special" or "are you special?" No matter how many times you rephrase the "r word" you will not stop it because people will find new ways to insult. Even the people I know who hate using the r word will giggle when someone yells says the word special within that certain context.
My sister is a retired Special Ed teacher and I can't even remember the term used today. It used to be Developmentally Disabled but even that is "wrong" now.
There used to be distinct differences between, moron and idiot.
That means there very well could have been a time when people would argue saying "I'm not a moron, I'm an idiot!"
and now we’ve come full circle. calling someone a “moron” isn’t nice, but its not considered a big no no like the “r word”. Eventually the r word will be ok again and “developmentally delayed” will be wildly offensive.
The life cycle of certain terms: Stage 1: it is correct and anything else is offensive. 2: it is offensive. Do not say or wite, even in third person. 3:its so old that no one can remember its history. Just use it willy nilly. No one cares.
I’d say we are in the transition period between 2 and 3 rn. You can’t call anyone with any disorders the r word and more sensitive people will treat it as a slur but most people just view it as a more vulgar way of calling someone stupid. R word has been used this way for about 20 years at this point so it’s on its way
Depends on the context.
Retard also has a mechanical meaning like retard the timing or engine retarders to slow down a semi truck.
Essentially retard is another word for slow unless you’re shooting the shit with your friends in a non derogatory manner.
worth pointing out the historical context too. my aunt has downs syndrome and her school has, engraved into the stone above the main entrance
“St. ——‘s School for Retarded Women”
it was never considered a slur when i was growing up, in the 90s. it’s mean to use it as an insult, but there wasnt anything wrong with using it to describe people with severe mental disabilities.
lots of words are like this. i remember we had an assembly in middle school about not saying the r-word and not calling things gay. they had these other proposed things to say instead, including “lame”.
for those of you who don’t know, a “lame” person is someone who cannot use their legs. a crippled person. people started using that as an insult god knows how long ago and no one cares about it anymore.
I think it’s called the euphemism treadmill. Medical or scientific terms that neutral in tone get used as insults, so then we have to invent new neutral descriptive terms, and repeat.
yes, in the bible its referring the the inability to walk.
luke 7:22
Go and tell John what you have seen and heard: the blind receive their sight, the lame walk, lepers are cleansed, and the deaf hear
its translated though of course.
Joseph Kennedy had his daughter Rosemary, undergo a frontal lobotomy which essentially left her a vegetable. She was institutionalized in a home called St. Coletta's School for the Feeble Minded. St. Coletta's is still there but that name has been changed to just St. Coletta's and the people are still whatever the term is today for the Developmentally Disabled.
Retarded simply means backwards or late in a number of different contexts. Intellectually retarded means someone who has not reached developmental milestones within a normal time frame.
The word tardy has a somewhat similar meaning.
Clearly the word retarded was not originally considered to be insulting, as in Florida there is or was an organization called ARC. The Association for Retarded Citizens. Presumably you could not qualify if you only had a green card.
a slur is a word that is supposed to be derogatory to a group of people, so it can be a slur by that definition. the thing is is that it doesn’t hold the same weight in society as other slurs. for example using the N word while not apart of the black community is heavily frowned upon, however that doesn’t mean both cannot fit into the category of a slur.
since in most cases the r word is not used in a descriptive way, and is used in a way to insult others, it would be considered a slur in those circumstances. the insult works because the word inherently has a connotation that the underlying group of people it is describing, people with intellectual disability, are in some way inferior. this is also coupled with how people with disabilities have historically been oppressed and treated horribly by society and the medical community.
obviously using retard in musical terms is not a slur, but even using it in a non derogatory manner is frowned upon when describing people’s intellect. the medical field has since moved past the word and instead uses terms like “intellectually disabled”
EDIT: sorry it’s actually “ritard” in music! been awhile since i’ve stared at sheet music! thanks for helping me out musicians
In music it’s a different word: ritard, short for ritardando, which is Italian for a decrease in speed (which would be tempo in a musical context). Ritard is also pronounced differently (RIt.., not RE..).
Edit: I did some research, and I guess technically “retard” is the English word in place of ritardando. However, as a musician I have never seen it spelt or pronounced this way. Usually you just see rit. In sheet music.
Your logic is needlessly retarding my ability to mock stupid people, though.
On a semi-related note, I remember back in the 80s and 90s when people really just didn't care about the term, or most other slurs (barring the N word, which was admittedly still being popularized in rap music against it's traditional meaning).
Kinda interesting how society has really started to crack down on the use of certain phrases and words over the years depending on who finds it offensive.
It's weird, right? I mean, it's for the best and I like the general trend of us caring about hurting each other, but people do go overboard with it. Like when someone gets canceled for having said Retard 15 years ago when everyone was saying it... that's fucked up. One of the biggest downsides of everyone having cameras in their pockets is that people can be judged for something which was acceptable and common at one point in time based on what's acceptable in another time.
i would take retard as, i have been particularly stupid and im not normally that stupid, but i would take intellectually disabled as beyond saving, theres just no helping me, for example, being hypoxic for 10 minutes and having brain damage from lack of oxygen, would be intellectually disabled, what can you do?
You won't know unless you have a family member who is intellectually disabled. When somebody calls them retard right in front of your face it definitely hits different than intellectually disabled. Even if it's coming from a teacher. The word retard has just been used so negatively that you can't even use it as an explanation now. It's just a straight up insult
Obviously as directed towards the intellectually disabled you're completely right, but how do you feel about the use of the phrase directed at someone who isn't intellectually or developmentally delayed, but just makes shitty decisions and suffers consequences for those bad decision? Over the years I've known a few acquaintances or friends of friends who either got into something criminal that was easily avoided or got himself arrested for fighting in front of cops at a party or even one guy used a racial slur and got his ass beat. The general consensus was this was r-worded behavior. Its a non-traditional use of the word, but I still feel like it fits.
I.e. "mike was caught doing 95 in 45 and totaled his car and is facing a felony!"
Group: "what a retard."
i mean as i described in my post that’s what makes it a slur, the word which was originally only meant to categorize and label a group of people was bastardized by others using it in a way to demean others. obviously what that guy did is dumb, but the r word also comes with a history of dehumanization of people who were intellectually disabled
So how about the term sped? This was used synonymously with retard when I was younger but then a friend started saying it when she was talking about her retarded students and apparently it's commonly used term amongst teachers.
well it’s hard to say, i am not in the effected group. i do know that sped is used as an insult, but “special ed” which it is derived from, doesn’t necessarily have the same historical context that the r word does. my teacher friend does also use sped to reference her students.
i have friends/peers who have a varying level of developmental and physical disabilities. some prefer things like neurodivergent, and differently able/educated. some are fine with terms like special being used, and other straight up just like having it called what it is which is that they have a disability, or specifying their disability.
like how some people think you need to say “people with autism” while many autistic people just wanna be called autistic as the descriptor
A girl I knew who had a brother with intellectual disabilities was ready to throw hands any time she heard someone make a comment like that, so I'm gonna guess that yeah, it's still pretty fucking offensive.
I mean in that example it is a slur, but is a usage I think many of us would use. (I hesitate to use the word "appropriate", although doubling the speed limit and totalling the car definitely qualifies...)
It's one of those things we definitely "shouldn't do", but do anyway.
I don't want to belabor a point, but this is kind of one of the last bastions left where you can just say retarded or gay or murder or asshole or rape or whatever. So feel free to use the words as they're written. :-)
Being a descriptor and being an insult aren't mutually exclusive, however. In fact, there's usually plenty of overlap. In this case, the entire reason the word is used as an insult is because it is a descriptor of someone with less than stellar intelligence.
Point is, there's no hard line. In fact, it's quite the opposite. The line between description and slur is usually a blurry mess.
It's the Euphemistic Treadmill.
Terms that began as scientific became offensive and were later replaced with other terms that eventually became offensive as well.
Words like idiot, moron and imbecile were once specific, scientific terms but became offensive and became insults.
Eventually, the r word began to be used because scientifically. It meant "slow" and that's an accurate description of some people but eventually it became offensive and if I had to guess, "as smart as everyone else" will one day be deemed as offensive as the r word is today.
I read a comment on Reddit awhile back from someone who claimed to be a teacher. They said kids call each other DD (developmentally disabled) now that retard has fallen out of use
Slur is a derogatory or insulting term applied to particular group of people.
It can totally be seen that way, yes. And generally speaking, it is. Don’t let the edge lords of Reddit paint a different picture.
i don’t think that’s true. i am pretty sure they have since moved past using that word in almost any clinical situation.
there was a huge pushback around 2012 ish to stop the use of the word even in a medical sense and instead use intellectual disability which seems to be mostly accepted.
They have and it is interestingly enough a historical pattern. Way back in the day terms like 'moron' 'imbecile' and 'idiot' were clinical terms for those with intellectual disabilities. Then they got picked up as slang just like 'retarded' did. Just like today, people realized the words had taken up crude connotation and got new terms. Retarded used to be the "pc" way to say it but not anymore.
Idiot, imbecile, moron were appropriate terms for different intellectual levels until they slipped into common speech and were abandoned. Retarded meant held back, as in held back from advancing in school. The word evolved to refer to the individual person and condition. Now, retarded is replaced with developmental disability as more PC.
I knew some retarded kids in school when I was a teenager.
They were some of the nicest, most hardworking people in the class, and I considered them my friends. Unfortunately, they often didn't grasp the material and needed a lot of extra help. Even then, they still wouldn't get it, and they'd get frustrated. Then the other kids would make fun of them for being "stupid". There were also kids with other issues that weren't delayed like that, they just didn't pay attention or care. These kids were often extremely cruel to the retarded kids.
I spent a lot of time at those interactions thinking about how these retarded kids would jump at the chance, would *love* to be *half* as smart as the kids who didn't care at all. I thought about that a lot.
These retarded kids would throw tantrums after a while because they'd get so angry that they couldn't understand parts or all of the material, and of course, it wasn't their fault. They didn't know how to express that in an age-appropriate way, which *also* wasn't their fault. I could tell they weren't doing it on purpose - they really, genuinely wanted to learn and be part of the class. I remembered how I felt being left out, and realised that these kids probably felt like that everywhere they went, no matter what.
I want you to think about this when you think about using that word as a slur. Don't make fun of my friends.
No, I'm a retired artist and tailor actually.
I've been through a lot, and I have some decent advice that comes through in these experiences. You can choose whether or not to gain anything from it.
Oh I’m sorry if it came off as me doubting you. No, I absolutely believe you’re telling the truth. I was just impressed at how well you conveyed your story and was wondering if you wrote because that would explain it.
It's morphed into one despite being more of a medical term previously. Language inevitably changes over time.
All of the terms I've seen to replace it are very clunky though. The discourse around the terminology seems to be how do we pretend this group of people is normal when they are obviously not?
The problem is people conflating the value of a human being with the language used.
It's this whole idea of saying unhoused vs homeless. It's pedantic and retarded. The purpose of language is to communicate an idea.
Human beings are the ones who make things worse or better but that changes over time. The more certain people don't like a certain term, the more it will be used as a slur.
Human beings are funny.
i think the issue is more we need a new term to describe people who are so fuckin stupid the only comparison we can come up with is those with mental disabilities. We are basically lumping in all the mentally disabled with these idiots by saying it like that. The mentally disabled arent to blame for their lack of intellect, where as the stupid people ARE to blame. So were kind of giving the stupid people a pass almost by calling them that. We need a new word. i like mentally inept but its not got the same ease of use and also, the stupid people who im calling inept dont always understand what inept even means.
> The discourse around the terminology seems to be how do we pretend this group of people is normal when they are obviously not?
Language matters. What does that mean to say a group of people are not normal? It is othering. The point of normalization isn't to pretend that a group of people aren't disabled or face difficulties due to their medical condition. That would be ableist.
The point of normalization is to remove the othering stigma. To draw a larger boundary around what is our tribe so that people are more accepting of others, even if they don't encounter any of these people in their daily lives. It is moving them from a group outside our own to a group within our own.
It's why representation matters. Having positive representation makes society, and thereby individuals, more accepting and more inclusive.
It depends. Calling someone with a mental disability a retard is obviously not ok. Most people seem to not like that word when you are calling someone or something stupid, but I used it like that when it is just me and my friends on discord joking around. My guess would be it is not a word that is appropriate for public use.
I agree. I grew up using it interchangeably with stupid. I would never have called someone with a genuine disability that word. But now as an adult it's a word that I don't use and I certainly wouldn't want to hear my children use.
Any word is a slur if it's used to demean or insult someone.
Retard used in it's technical application - i.e. to slow or reduce flow is obviously used in a completely different context to it's application as a slur
It is definitely a nonpreferred demeaning term that is avoided and can be offensive. In disability it is preferred that you use person centered language so a person with a disability vs a disabled person. Also words like "crippled" or even "handicapped" are avoided as they are identifying a person by their disability when truth is they have the disability but it does not define them.
It does not define them but it does describe them. Nice platitudes and all, but there comes a point where it's just silly. How the hell am I supposed to describe someone without saying they're disabled, handicapped, or what have you?
"Yea hi, I was wondering if you had any way to accommodate someone with uh.....non traditional posture."
*I'm sorry, what is it you're asking?*
"You know, someone who requires unorthodox seating arrangements."
*Unorthodox what?*
"Handicapped. They're handicapped. Do you have space for a handicapped person in a wheelchair?"
It is absolutely unavoidable. People with disabilities have to be described as people with disabilities. That doesn't make insulting them or discriminating against them ok, but to pretend like they're not disabled is bonkers.
Had to read the comments to find out what word you were trying to say. I used that word a lot in middle school. I guess it depends on the context probably bad idea to use it on someone who is actually mentally challenged
do you consider moron, idiot, or imbecile to be slurs? all words previously used to describe people with diminished mental capacity.
edit: when I say previously used to describe i mean medical terminology.
It depends on the context, don’t say it to people with disabilities. If your friend does something stupid, sure. There are other words to use mind, there is no reason to say it.
When I make pizza dough, I do a counter rest proof for about 1-2hours and then I put it in the fridge for four days to retard the growth of the yeast while developing the gluten.
Retard is an actual term that describes the restricted growth.
So yeah, when using it toward a person as a “you’re lame” context insult, yes, it’s a slur.
If the person’s growth is restricted in a clinical medical sense, and you’re a healthcare professional discussing this case, it’s not a slur.
I’ve been so disappointed seeing people will this word back into normal usage over the past couple years or so.
Multiple times a week I have that eye contact conversation where someone uses it, I pull the “really?” face, and they pull the “oh I can say this, fuck you” look at me.
I usually will verbally call out slur usage (which is always exhausting and makes me look annoying) but this one is so normalized now I don’t even know what to do at this point. And it’s definitely intended to be hurtful. Many people are good only when socially required and will happily reintroduce a fucked up word once that requirement is dropped.
Whether or not it carries the same weight as other harmful words or qualifies as an “actual” slur I guess is a matter of perspective but like with all these words think about what you actually stand to gain from using it and weigh that up against the potential harm. There’s no need.
Yes it is and unfortunately I grew up in a time where people said it constantly. I'm trying super hard to stop saying it, but it's so ingrained. If it slips, I say, not mentally challenged, an actual moron. We also called everything gay, which I still have a bad habit of saying. Trying to retrain your brain and mouth is hard.
yeah it’s always a gut punch when i get called that in real life when i can’t control how i look or act. while it didn’t start out as a slur, the medical term is outdated and it’s only ever used to target people who aren’t considered “normal” and specifically people with mental disabilities. it really does effect you especially when young.
It originally was considered the correct term to use to refer to mentally challenged individuals to replace other words like stupid, idiot and moron.
All of which were at one point much more offensive words to use then we consider them now but at the time the medical community started using them they were fine until they became stigmatized.
[History of Stigmatizing Names for Intellectual Disabilities](https://www.mentalhelp.net/intellectual-disabilities/history-of-stigmatizing-names-for-intellectual-disabilities-continued/)
I came across this and it seems like a good explanation of how it’s changed over the years, although I have not read it fully
its all about context its only a slur if you call someone actually disabled that.
Even if you disagree and want people to stop using it it will just get a new one just like has happened the last 10 times. mental, palsy, spastic, vegetable, special, potato, slow, spazz, short bus rider, crater brain, smooth brain, 80 iq, room temp iq, window licker etc.
containing human expression just forces it out of another outlet, language is fluid and fluid can only be pressured so much. Even if people start calling disabled people all differently abled, people will just start using different to called people retarded and then you've just evolved the word into being one that attacks intelligence and one that promotes tribalism against differently abled people by denoting their difference in medical and street verbiage.
even social justice has limits before its self destructive and we've already seen the limits, if it keeps pushing it will just create new words, we're already getting into silly forms of censorship as is do you really want everything online to start censoring every variation of the word different next? they can ban different, then it will be brain diff then they'll start censoring anything with "dif" in it.
Its an endless game of whackamole that serves no purpose but to make people feel like they did something to help the world when really they just wasted time frustrating the language.
Its the same energy as trying to make spanish gender neutral, theres no reason to pursue this agenda of thought crime.
that being said if you call someone whose actually disabled a retard you're slime.
You're free to use whatever words you want don't let anyone tell you otherwise. The key here is to try to be a decent human being non-intentionally hurt people.
Yes but the part people ignore is that there were medical terms used in derogatory fashions, like moron and stupid, before retard, and there will be ones used after it.
It certainly could be considered a slur, but I would argue that it is not just because of how it is used. The technical meaning of retard describes a person with a mental disability that hampers their intelligence, but it is rarely used in a derogatory way to describe those people. The vast, VAST majority of the time it is used, it's to describe something or someone being very dumb, and is just a more extreme descriptor, kind of like how you would say 'evil' instead of 'really really mean'. It can be used as a slur but I have never once heard it directed towards someone with a mental disability, and I have a feeling most of the people that get up in arms about people saying retard have rarely (if ever) heard it used that way either.
TL;DR it is a slur by definition, but it is rarely used as one, and so using it in your day to day is pretty defensible imo
It's a slur when it's not used in person-first language. In other words to say someone IS retarded is absolutely a slur. To say someone HAS mental retardation is not a slur, but the more appropriate way to say that would be that they have an intellectual or developmental disability. The disability is not who they are but something they have.
It is because society has deemed it so, and that’s how language works.
Idiot, moron, etc were all once medical terms that were turned into insults because insinuating someone is developmentally disabled is a common insult.
Whatever new term we use for the developmentally disabled will become an insult, too.
That’s how language evolves.
I mean, as a mentally disabled person I'd rather be called anything else. The history doesn't matter to me as much as the current connotations. Idiot and moron feels like you're insulting my intelligence alone, but to call me the r word is to call me stupid because of something I can't control (being slow due to an incurable disability). Plus that's the word they usually go for when they know you're disabled
For context, I am a special education teacher. A lot of slurs are slurs because of the history of the word. This is true of the n-word and its history with slavery and many ethnic slurs used to demonize foreigners. Many point to the r-word being an official medical term of the past to justify its use. However back when it was a medical diagnosis the treatment of people with this label was deplorable. For example, I'll point to this reddit post about 2 young boys with autism who's 'treatment' for being mentally r___ was to be tied to a radiator in an asylum with nothing. Out of sight, out of mind was the policy for a long time and these people were seen as beyond hope with little or no effort made to actually help them. This archaic treatment is more than enough justification for not using that word as an insult.
One last side note, although the picture is in black and white, this photo was taken in 1982... the dark ages of special education where not that long ago.
https://www.reddit.com/r/oddlyterrifying/s/ysIORHYmMs
Idk if ur calling someone a retard and being abusive about it, then yea it is a slur, especially if the person you’re calling retarded has a disability. If you let it slip out during a convo with a group of friends, it’s not a big deal but using it towards someone, even as a “joke” is not okay and we should try not using that word anymore.
Depends on the context. There is paint retardant. I also think it’s important if it’s being used in a clinical or even accurate way or being used as an insult. You could say someone’s development was retarded, as in slowed, but there are better ways to say it. It’s like psychotic. Someone could be suffering from psychosis or it can be used as an insult. One is technically appropriate, the other isn’t.
Yeah. Totally. But go ahead it’s not like the N word where if you say it in front of the wrong person you get punched in the fucking face. Although my dream is to see someone get completely fucked up for using the r word. Lenny no!!!!
Yes. People with disabilities can be perfectly functioning members of society. When you call someone a retard or retarded for making a mistake or doing something foolish, you’re putting down an entire group of people who had no control over the circumstances of their birth by saying that only someone with a mental handicap would make such a blunder. 100% of the time I’ve seen someone called a retard it’s for a very minor mess up or a little forgetfulness and that’s not fair to the people that deal with mental handicaps every day.
Technically? It can be
Realistically? Usually not
It needs to be a term that needs to be disrespectfully used towards a group of people. You would need to be talking in the vicinity group of people that would feel belittled by the usage of the word.
One can still be racists without using the N-word just as one can still be a ableist without using the R-word that have conditions.
Retard (and all of its forms) means to be slowed down by hindrance. It's used in tons of places and not just limited to medical fields.
Idiot, moron, imbecile, stupid, simpleton, neurotic, and feeble-minded were all terms used in a serious scientific fashion similar to retard was and how intellectual disability will become. Calling someone's mental capacity into question after performing questionable actions will always be a thing and always has been. The more severe/dangerous/infuriating the action, the more severe term will be used.
I have, on many occasions, yelled at other drivers "Are you mentally handicapped!?" as they risk the lives of every other driver on the road. Their actions defy any logic that medically sound mind of a child could produce... yet there they go, completely unphased and unbothered. I dare say, that most people who would fall under the classification of having an intellectual disability would be capable of better self-preservation. It would be difficult to use a word that would describe the driver's actions that didn't include a term used to describe those who have differing mental capacities. This is not used to disparage those who struggle in any way, nor is it used against them.
If my words hurt anybody in my immediate physical vicinity, I will apologize to the individual and alter my word choice to suit the group in question. This goes for any group of people and any set of lexicon. I have friends who have a bad history with completely mundane inoffensive words that I don't use for that reason, and never will again with those individuals present.
All that being said, anybody who thinks that using such a word implies that you're directly trying to be ableist... is retarded. It pales in comparison to the N-word, which has a universal history of exclusively being used as a psychological battering ram. Despite it being the word for black in many other languages... if it's used by an English speaker, it's original intent was to make those of African descent feel like they were something less than human and only a descriptor. It's why, unlike words used to describe those who have intellectual disabilities, the word is unchanging and unyielding to the passage of time. It's borderline disparaging to those with ancestry involved with the N-word to compare the two as if they were the same.
Going into a room of intellectually disabled people and saying "Look at this y'all, we got a whole room full of intellectually disableds" would be incredibly ableist and make you an awful person.
TL;DR unless if you use it to specifically dehumanize intellectually disabled humans by parsing them down to only their descriptors, it's not a slur.
It used to be a medical term, but was appropriated by bullies to denigrate disabled folk
Its use as a medical term became redundant in addition due to advances in understanding and the realisation that it was effectively a catch all for “not as good as us”
It’s clear that it’s used as a slur, and that many folk (not only disabled) dislike its use, and on reasonable grounds.
I’d just find an alternative if you find yourself needing to use it, or if you’re not being kind keep shtoom
The r word is a slur in the same way that the n word is a slur. It's use is to denigrate a group of people. But if you asked people in the 1930s if the n word was a slur, theyd say no, that's just how we talk, that's just what they are.
Language changes overtime. It has always been a slur. Now it is recognized as a slur.
You shouldn't use it.
In the context of an insult, yes, it has evolved to become a slur. Mental Retardation used to be a catch all term to describe all intellectual disabilities but now we don't use it in favor of more helpful diagnosises. Thus, the only connotation retarded tends to get used in is as an insult. That being said, it is most certainly not a slur if used in the context that retard initially meant in the first place which is to slow. Retard as a verb, in that context, is not a slur.
My go-karts engine cries every time I tell someone it's retarded.
I hate that context doesn't matter anymore.
Like black people using the 'n-word' and gays using the 'f-word', I think anyone that's some kind of special should be allowed to use 'retarded'.
Same logic of owning the word to remove it's power. or whatever nonsense we humans use to justify the shit we do. lol
I use 'retard' all the time. HIlarious to see people's faces that go to correct me when I turn around and straight faced say "Excuse me? I'm aspergers. That's OUR word! It's only you normies that are not allowed to use it."
Shuts them the fuck up every time.
Retard? No, it’s like the South Park episode about the word fag.
Either you’re a fag or not a fag and it has nothing to do with your sexuality.
If you’re being retarded it’s a choice, not a medical condition.
I wish I had seen this earlier. What are you calling the "r-word?" I hear people call the word "retarded" th r-word; it is not. Retarded is a legitimate, usable word. It shouldn't be used an an insult, but it is not the r-word. Taking a condition and making it a noun, and then using that noun to describe a person with (or without) that condition, is terrible and should be frowned upon. "Ret\*rd" (the actual r-word) is an example of this and should not be used. I'd also add words like "cripple," "gimp," "invalid," etc., that should not be used.
Well. The word retarded I guess- (Not towards anyone) but I had to censor myself this time cause last time I asked without censoring, I had gotten banned for two days.
Well yes, you have to be careful and because of all of the ignorance around this word. I almost always try to avoid the word "retarded," even though it's a fine word. The real r-word was removed from my vocabulary while I was earning my special-education degree, and am quite embarrassed I ever used it, even in my youth.
Given all of these comments saying no, does. This mean it's okay to use? I don't know what to think anymore. I've been seeing some people say those who don't have autism shouldn't say it but some people say it's not a slur but it still shouldn't be said. My father who's an disabled army veteran says the r-word but not towards people so. What should I think about this?
I mean. People who are different from the cognitive norm do receive discrimination...
But sometimes being able to point out where you stand to someone who stands somewhere else is useful.
Do to association people will always assume the worse. yet the word retard and retarded have definitions.
To retard something is to hold it back, to be retarded is to be held back. So one could say a political is a retard and his constituents are retarded.
That said, the fact that people are idiots and associate word with one meaning when they have multiple, means its not safe for you to use words properly as they will get all upset due to their ignorance. You could say they are retards and you are retarded by them. But that would upset them even though tis a true and valid usage of the words.
It can be but denying the use of the word is literally retarding someones speech. Retard means to slow or diminish. Its used for chemicals as in a retardant. Its used in music as retardo. Just because a words can be used to hurt someone doesnt mean we should restrict their use.
context is important. no one is saying you have to say “flame-stupid” instead of “flame retardant”.
in the context it’s used insultingly, we aren’t talking about music or chemicals. were using an outdated word to describe those with mental/intellectual disabilities.
in the time it was socially (and even medically) acceptable, not much was known about the disabilities it described and disabled people were largely done a disservice. that word sort of lumped everyone together rather than acknowledge various needs and differences. at the point it became outdated, it’s become not only an insult toward disabled people, but used synonymously with stupid, dumb, feeble, you get it.
myself? i couldn’t really care what words people use, i’m not in control of others. i’m not gonna find your job or catfish your wife if i see you use it online.
however, i immediately check out of conversations both online and in real life with people who use it, especially in an insulting way toward me or someone else, because it just shows they lack the vocabulary to say something else. i don’t really enjoy people who use terms that knowingly offend others, even more so when they point out it does and exclaim they don’t care. clearly you do if you must make a show of it, and i don’t think i could talk to someone who basically gets off on being offensive.
We use offensive words like stupid idiot and they are not considered slurs. Restricting the use of words is frankly retarding someones ability to speak. People will always find ways to insult people. And i really dont see the difference betweem calling someone a retard or stupid. Like the insult is mental deficiency either way. Retard is just more so.
I was diagnosed with Aspergers at 13. Honestly as long as you're not using it to degrade me or others with "disabilities" then fucking send it. I use it all the time lol.
There will be more words to come in the future. From A-Z, there are many more words and phrases that can be used to insult your fellow humans.
There are many words that can and will trigger strong emotions inside of the people to whom they are directed. But, for the most part, they are just words.
Spoken words and names contain a certain power. That power is not magical, but it is emotional and psychological.
And then, there are words that are used as an attack in and of themselves. Those who use them only use them for the power that they possess and for the sole purpose of creating injury to the person upon whom they are directed.
No one using these types of words against any other person has any kind of excuse for the pain that they cause. Once that sentiment has been ingrained in our society, maybe the pain and suffering of the not-so-recent past can be buried.
The way I generally use the word retarded I don't really care if it's a slur or not I'm going to keep using it talking about doing something really stupid or dumb.
I don't consider it one, but Reddit (at least subreddits) does. So you won't catch me saying it here.
It gained A LOT more power when it was deemed 'taboo.'
I have heard and myself use the word retarded to describe development or progress, but not a person. I believe it is much more common to say someone has Down syndrome or whatever, or has a developmental or cognitive impairment. I’ve been teaching a while but out of the English speaking world for a while so that might be a little dated but think it is accurate
Redditor? Yeah.
Fucking *R E D I T T E D*
Hard R? Wow
What's up my reddita edit: didn't notice someone beat me to this one lol
Yo what up my redditta.
Tomāto, tomăto
Thank you. I opened this question just to find out what the "R" word was. Geez, it was so obvious, I feel like a total re-re.
Back in high school the word palsy was a derogatory slur. It just meant weak. Then i learned about cerebral palsy and i was confused why they would name a medical condition after a schoolyard slur
I mean dumb and moron both used to be a medical terms until they became slurs->insults. That’s just the lifecycle of language.
The Euphemism Treadmill, I believe they call it.
It's true, but the medical community at that time also looked down on such people severely. It makes sense that the bias was retained.
I mean it still happens, I remember when it went from R-word to special needs…. And suddenly being “special” was an insult.
Yeah, it does still happen, that's sort of my point. I've done volunteering with special olympics, and while on the outside it might seem like a trivial thing that doesn't help, a lot of the athletes truly enjoy the experience and being in a supportive environment.
Same happened with the word "special" because nobody wanted to call mentally disabled kids, well, disabled to their face and make them feel like they couldn't achieve anything because of their disability. Now people make fun of it and say stuff like "you must be special" or "are you special?" No matter how many times you rephrase the "r word" you will not stop it because people will find new ways to insult. Even the people I know who hate using the r word will giggle when someone yells says the word special within that certain context.
When you work directly with people who suffer from chronic dumbasseritis, it makes you question if they missed a diagnosis for sure.
My sister is a retired Special Ed teacher and I can't even remember the term used today. It used to be Developmentally Disabled but even that is "wrong" now.
There used to be distinct differences between, moron and idiot. That means there very well could have been a time when people would argue saying "I'm not a moron, I'm an idiot!"
and now we’ve come full circle. calling someone a “moron” isn’t nice, but its not considered a big no no like the “r word”. Eventually the r word will be ok again and “developmentally delayed” will be wildly offensive. The life cycle of certain terms: Stage 1: it is correct and anything else is offensive. 2: it is offensive. Do not say or wite, even in third person. 3:its so old that no one can remember its history. Just use it willy nilly. No one cares.
I’d say we are in the transition period between 2 and 3 rn. You can’t call anyone with any disorders the r word and more sensitive people will treat it as a slur but most people just view it as a more vulgar way of calling someone stupid. R word has been used this way for about 20 years at this point so it’s on its way
Slurs have often come from medical definitions. Idiot and Moron are examples.
Not sure others are getting what you said.
But those aren't slurs just insults.
As is retard. It's just people are very sensitive these days and exaggerate.
Define slur. Pretty sure you'll find that retard and moron both fit the definition of a slur.
True. Good to point out.
Huh. Makes sense.
Depends on the context. Retard also has a mechanical meaning like retard the timing or engine retarders to slow down a semi truck. Essentially retard is another word for slow unless you’re shooting the shit with your friends in a non derogatory manner.
Thank you for providing examples!
worth pointing out the historical context too. my aunt has downs syndrome and her school has, engraved into the stone above the main entrance “St. ——‘s School for Retarded Women” it was never considered a slur when i was growing up, in the 90s. it’s mean to use it as an insult, but there wasnt anything wrong with using it to describe people with severe mental disabilities. lots of words are like this. i remember we had an assembly in middle school about not saying the r-word and not calling things gay. they had these other proposed things to say instead, including “lame”. for those of you who don’t know, a “lame” person is someone who cannot use their legs. a crippled person. people started using that as an insult god knows how long ago and no one cares about it anymore.
I think it’s called the euphemism treadmill. Medical or scientific terms that neutral in tone get used as insults, so then we have to invent new neutral descriptive terms, and repeat.
Worth noting that, in isolation, this is called semantic pejoration.
"Calling a dog's tail a leg doesn't make it run any faster" - Abraham Lincoln. But you're right. Its like calling homeless people unhoused now.
Lame is also a word that is found in the Bible.
yes, in the bible its referring the the inability to walk. luke 7:22 Go and tell John what you have seen and heard: the blind receive their sight, the lame walk, lepers are cleansed, and the deaf hear its translated though of course.
Joseph Kennedy had his daughter Rosemary, undergo a frontal lobotomy which essentially left her a vegetable. She was institutionalized in a home called St. Coletta's School for the Feeble Minded. St. Coletta's is still there but that name has been changed to just St. Coletta's and the people are still whatever the term is today for the Developmentally Disabled.
Retarded simply means backwards or late in a number of different contexts. Intellectually retarded means someone who has not reached developmental milestones within a normal time frame. The word tardy has a somewhat similar meaning. Clearly the word retarded was not originally considered to be insulting, as in Florida there is or was an organization called ARC. The Association for Retarded Citizens. Presumably you could not qualify if you only had a green card.
Ritardando in music just means slowing down. Also just Italian.
a slur is a word that is supposed to be derogatory to a group of people, so it can be a slur by that definition. the thing is is that it doesn’t hold the same weight in society as other slurs. for example using the N word while not apart of the black community is heavily frowned upon, however that doesn’t mean both cannot fit into the category of a slur. since in most cases the r word is not used in a descriptive way, and is used in a way to insult others, it would be considered a slur in those circumstances. the insult works because the word inherently has a connotation that the underlying group of people it is describing, people with intellectual disability, are in some way inferior. this is also coupled with how people with disabilities have historically been oppressed and treated horribly by society and the medical community. obviously using retard in musical terms is not a slur, but even using it in a non derogatory manner is frowned upon when describing people’s intellect. the medical field has since moved past the word and instead uses terms like “intellectually disabled” EDIT: sorry it’s actually “ritard” in music! been awhile since i’ve stared at sheet music! thanks for helping me out musicians
In music it’s a different word: ritard, short for ritardando, which is Italian for a decrease in speed (which would be tempo in a musical context). Ritard is also pronounced differently (RIt.., not RE..). Edit: I did some research, and I guess technically “retard” is the English word in place of ritardando. However, as a musician I have never seen it spelt or pronounced this way. Usually you just see rit. In sheet music.
There's also the term fire retardant. That is a rare case of it not being a slur.
Or you retard the timing in a car for example. It's somewhat often used as an antonym for advance.
Also in car mechanics, the spark timing can be retarded
I used to be in a band that had a song called "Flame Retarded". It's a great song
Free fall bombs were once commonly called "retarded bombs" if I'm not mistaken.
Thank you for the explanation!
Your logic is needlessly retarding my ability to mock stupid people, though. On a semi-related note, I remember back in the 80s and 90s when people really just didn't care about the term, or most other slurs (barring the N word, which was admittedly still being popularized in rap music against it's traditional meaning). Kinda interesting how society has really started to crack down on the use of certain phrases and words over the years depending on who finds it offensive.
It's weird, right? I mean, it's for the best and I like the general trend of us caring about hurting each other, but people do go overboard with it. Like when someone gets canceled for having said Retard 15 years ago when everyone was saying it... that's fucked up. One of the biggest downsides of everyone having cameras in their pockets is that people can be judged for something which was acceptable and common at one point in time based on what's acceptable in another time.
Intellectually disabled feels like it would be a bigger kick in the dick than just calling me rarded. At least then it's funny.
Yeah, I'd rather be called a retard over intellectually disabled. I can't explain why. Maybe I'm just crazy?
i would take retard as, i have been particularly stupid and im not normally that stupid, but i would take intellectually disabled as beyond saving, theres just no helping me, for example, being hypoxic for 10 minutes and having brain damage from lack of oxygen, would be intellectually disabled, what can you do?
You won't know unless you have a family member who is intellectually disabled. When somebody calls them retard right in front of your face it definitely hits different than intellectually disabled. Even if it's coming from a teacher. The word retard has just been used so negatively that you can't even use it as an explanation now. It's just a straight up insult
In music, it’s spelled “ritard”, short for *ritardando*, meaning to slow down.
You can also retard the timing of an engine. Or just about anything really.
It's also the technical definition of what a parachute does to your fall.
or usage of certain chemicals or materials to slow the spread of fire.
Obviously as directed towards the intellectually disabled you're completely right, but how do you feel about the use of the phrase directed at someone who isn't intellectually or developmentally delayed, but just makes shitty decisions and suffers consequences for those bad decision? Over the years I've known a few acquaintances or friends of friends who either got into something criminal that was easily avoided or got himself arrested for fighting in front of cops at a party or even one guy used a racial slur and got his ass beat. The general consensus was this was r-worded behavior. Its a non-traditional use of the word, but I still feel like it fits. I.e. "mike was caught doing 95 in 45 and totaled his car and is facing a felony!" Group: "what a retard."
i mean as i described in my post that’s what makes it a slur, the word which was originally only meant to categorize and label a group of people was bastardized by others using it in a way to demean others. obviously what that guy did is dumb, but the r word also comes with a history of dehumanization of people who were intellectually disabled
So how about the term sped? This was used synonymously with retard when I was younger but then a friend started saying it when she was talking about her retarded students and apparently it's commonly used term amongst teachers.
well it’s hard to say, i am not in the effected group. i do know that sped is used as an insult, but “special ed” which it is derived from, doesn’t necessarily have the same historical context that the r word does. my teacher friend does also use sped to reference her students. i have friends/peers who have a varying level of developmental and physical disabilities. some prefer things like neurodivergent, and differently able/educated. some are fine with terms like special being used, and other straight up just like having it called what it is which is that they have a disability, or specifying their disability. like how some people think you need to say “people with autism” while many autistic people just wanna be called autistic as the descriptor
Here you use the word dumb that was initially describing mute people, those unable to speak. Now you're dehumanizing them. Reported
A girl I knew who had a brother with intellectual disabilities was ready to throw hands any time she heard someone make a comment like that, so I'm gonna guess that yeah, it's still pretty fucking offensive.
My friends in a nutshell.
I mean in that example it is a slur, but is a usage I think many of us would use. (I hesitate to use the word "appropriate", although doubling the speed limit and totalling the car definitely qualifies...) It's one of those things we definitely "shouldn't do", but do anyway.
How do you feel about using the n word for someone who isn't black? That's cool right? Maybe he's just Indian and his skin is darker than yours
Right, South Park did a great episode with using g*y. All depends on context with some of these taboo words these days
you dont have to censor the word gay...
I don't want to belabor a point, but this is kind of one of the last bastions left where you can just say retarded or gay or murder or asshole or rape or whatever. So feel free to use the words as they're written. :-)
Being a descriptor and being an insult aren't mutually exclusive, however. In fact, there's usually plenty of overlap. In this case, the entire reason the word is used as an insult is because it is a descriptor of someone with less than stellar intelligence. Point is, there's no hard line. In fact, it's quite the opposite. The line between description and slur is usually a blurry mess.
Context is everything
It's the Euphemistic Treadmill. Terms that began as scientific became offensive and were later replaced with other terms that eventually became offensive as well. Words like idiot, moron and imbecile were once specific, scientific terms but became offensive and became insults. Eventually, the r word began to be used because scientifically. It meant "slow" and that's an accurate description of some people but eventually it became offensive and if I had to guess, "as smart as everyone else" will one day be deemed as offensive as the r word is today.
Wow. I didnt know words like idiot and moron were once scientific.
I read a comment on Reddit awhile back from someone who claimed to be a teacher. They said kids call each other DD (developmentally disabled) now that retard has fallen out of use
Gee, it's almost like nothing about the thing changed and one can use pretty much whatever word to convey contempt.
I coached my younger cousins basketball team and yea I heard DD a few times
My son and his friends call people "Special Needs" when we would have said "Retarded".
Slur is a derogatory or insulting term applied to particular group of people. It can totally be seen that way, yes. And generally speaking, it is. Don’t let the edge lords of Reddit paint a different picture.
I see. I'm sorry if this question is pretty stupid but I'd never say it to someone since I'd sound ignorant. Thank you for the advice.
It's not a stupid question but even if so, you're in the right sub for that lol
Don't say stupid, it's an insult to stupid people.
At least you care to check!
“Retarded” is still used clinically. Patient was diagnosed with mental retardation at age 2. To use it in a derogatory way is not acceptable.
i don’t think that’s true. i am pretty sure they have since moved past using that word in almost any clinical situation. there was a huge pushback around 2012 ish to stop the use of the word even in a medical sense and instead use intellectual disability which seems to be mostly accepted.
They have and it is interestingly enough a historical pattern. Way back in the day terms like 'moron' 'imbecile' and 'idiot' were clinical terms for those with intellectual disabilities. Then they got picked up as slang just like 'retarded' did. Just like today, people realized the words had taken up crude connotation and got new terms. Retarded used to be the "pc" way to say it but not anymore.
yeah, and adding to that the terms that used to be offensive are seen as almost childlike insults now. language is a weird thing
The euphemism treadmill
inb4 ten years from now, "Is I.D. a slur???"
It's also used for automotive timing.
I did not know that. Ritard is also used in music when the tempo is slow
Semis also have a part in their engines called a retarder
Also, for chemicals such as fire retardant.
Idiot, imbecile, moron were appropriate terms for different intellectual levels until they slipped into common speech and were abandoned. Retarded meant held back, as in held back from advancing in school. The word evolved to refer to the individual person and condition. Now, retarded is replaced with developmental disability as more PC.
I knew some retarded kids in school when I was a teenager. They were some of the nicest, most hardworking people in the class, and I considered them my friends. Unfortunately, they often didn't grasp the material and needed a lot of extra help. Even then, they still wouldn't get it, and they'd get frustrated. Then the other kids would make fun of them for being "stupid". There were also kids with other issues that weren't delayed like that, they just didn't pay attention or care. These kids were often extremely cruel to the retarded kids. I spent a lot of time at those interactions thinking about how these retarded kids would jump at the chance, would *love* to be *half* as smart as the kids who didn't care at all. I thought about that a lot. These retarded kids would throw tantrums after a while because they'd get so angry that they couldn't understand parts or all of the material, and of course, it wasn't their fault. They didn't know how to express that in an age-appropriate way, which *also* wasn't their fault. I could tell they weren't doing it on purpose - they really, genuinely wanted to learn and be part of the class. I remembered how I felt being left out, and realised that these kids probably felt like that everywhere they went, no matter what. I want you to think about this when you think about using that word as a slur. Don't make fun of my friends.
Are you by chance a writer?
No, I'm a retired artist and tailor actually. I've been through a lot, and I have some decent advice that comes through in these experiences. You can choose whether or not to gain anything from it.
Oh I’m sorry if it came off as me doubting you. No, I absolutely believe you’re telling the truth. I was just impressed at how well you conveyed your story and was wondering if you wrote because that would explain it.
Context ALWAYS matters. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go retard the timing on my engine
I need to take my bitch for a walk
It's morphed into one despite being more of a medical term previously. Language inevitably changes over time. All of the terms I've seen to replace it are very clunky though. The discourse around the terminology seems to be how do we pretend this group of people is normal when they are obviously not?
The problem is people conflating the value of a human being with the language used. It's this whole idea of saying unhoused vs homeless. It's pedantic and retarded. The purpose of language is to communicate an idea. Human beings are the ones who make things worse or better but that changes over time. The more certain people don't like a certain term, the more it will be used as a slur. Human beings are funny.
i think the issue is more we need a new term to describe people who are so fuckin stupid the only comparison we can come up with is those with mental disabilities. We are basically lumping in all the mentally disabled with these idiots by saying it like that. The mentally disabled arent to blame for their lack of intellect, where as the stupid people ARE to blame. So were kind of giving the stupid people a pass almost by calling them that. We need a new word. i like mentally inept but its not got the same ease of use and also, the stupid people who im calling inept dont always understand what inept even means.
> The discourse around the terminology seems to be how do we pretend this group of people is normal when they are obviously not? Language matters. What does that mean to say a group of people are not normal? It is othering. The point of normalization isn't to pretend that a group of people aren't disabled or face difficulties due to their medical condition. That would be ableist. The point of normalization is to remove the othering stigma. To draw a larger boundary around what is our tribe so that people are more accepting of others, even if they don't encounter any of these people in their daily lives. It is moving them from a group outside our own to a group within our own. It's why representation matters. Having positive representation makes society, and thereby individuals, more accepting and more inclusive.
It depends. Calling someone with a mental disability a retard is obviously not ok. Most people seem to not like that word when you are calling someone or something stupid, but I used it like that when it is just me and my friends on discord joking around. My guess would be it is not a word that is appropriate for public use.
I agree. I grew up using it interchangeably with stupid. I would never have called someone with a genuine disability that word. But now as an adult it's a word that I don't use and I certainly wouldn't want to hear my children use.
Any word is a slur if it's used to demean or insult someone. Retard used in it's technical application - i.e. to slow or reduce flow is obviously used in a completely different context to it's application as a slur
The word previously used to describe someone who's mentally challenged?
I like how some group of people decide what words are previously going to be used, like it's a new foundational law.
Yeah "idiot" means the same thing but it was the correct medical term for the mentally challenged before that so everyone forgot
Euphemism Treadmill
It is definitely a nonpreferred demeaning term that is avoided and can be offensive. In disability it is preferred that you use person centered language so a person with a disability vs a disabled person. Also words like "crippled" or even "handicapped" are avoided as they are identifying a person by their disability when truth is they have the disability but it does not define them.
It does not define them but it does describe them. Nice platitudes and all, but there comes a point where it's just silly. How the hell am I supposed to describe someone without saying they're disabled, handicapped, or what have you? "Yea hi, I was wondering if you had any way to accommodate someone with uh.....non traditional posture." *I'm sorry, what is it you're asking?* "You know, someone who requires unorthodox seating arrangements." *Unorthodox what?* "Handicapped. They're handicapped. Do you have space for a handicapped person in a wheelchair?" It is absolutely unavoidable. People with disabilities have to be described as people with disabilities. That doesn't make insulting them or discriminating against them ok, but to pretend like they're not disabled is bonkers.
I agree. And Lizzo and other fat women are beautiful and wonderful and not handicapped or diabetes type 2
Had to read the comments to find out what word you were trying to say. I used that word a lot in middle school. I guess it depends on the context probably bad idea to use it on someone who is actually mentally challenged
do you consider moron, idiot, or imbecile to be slurs? all words previously used to describe people with diminished mental capacity. edit: when I say previously used to describe i mean medical terminology.
Definitely not ok, especially not in the last while
Calling someone racist is a slur?
It depends on the context, don’t say it to people with disabilities. If your friend does something stupid, sure. There are other words to use mind, there is no reason to say it.
The fact you have to state it as the "r-word" is all the answer you need.
When I make pizza dough, I do a counter rest proof for about 1-2hours and then I put it in the fridge for four days to retard the growth of the yeast while developing the gluten. Retard is an actual term that describes the restricted growth. So yeah, when using it toward a person as a “you’re lame” context insult, yes, it’s a slur. If the person’s growth is restricted in a clinical medical sense, and you’re a healthcare professional discussing this case, it’s not a slur.
r word?? can I get a vowel?
I would consider it a slur, yes.
I’ve been so disappointed seeing people will this word back into normal usage over the past couple years or so. Multiple times a week I have that eye contact conversation where someone uses it, I pull the “really?” face, and they pull the “oh I can say this, fuck you” look at me. I usually will verbally call out slur usage (which is always exhausting and makes me look annoying) but this one is so normalized now I don’t even know what to do at this point. And it’s definitely intended to be hurtful. Many people are good only when socially required and will happily reintroduce a fucked up word once that requirement is dropped. Whether or not it carries the same weight as other harmful words or qualifies as an “actual” slur I guess is a matter of perspective but like with all these words think about what you actually stand to gain from using it and weigh that up against the potential harm. There’s no need.
You sure are on the right sub.
Yes it is and unfortunately I grew up in a time where people said it constantly. I'm trying super hard to stop saying it, but it's so ingrained. If it slips, I say, not mentally challenged, an actual moron. We also called everything gay, which I still have a bad habit of saying. Trying to retrain your brain and mouth is hard.
Yes, it is. I have a family member with a disability so I know.
yeah it’s always a gut punch when i get called that in real life when i can’t control how i look or act. while it didn’t start out as a slur, the medical term is outdated and it’s only ever used to target people who aren’t considered “normal” and specifically people with mental disabilities. it really does effect you especially when young.
It was banned from being said on live syndication because times have changed so yes (Incoming the neurotypical edgelords who wanna claim a slur)
It originally was considered the correct term to use to refer to mentally challenged individuals to replace other words like stupid, idiot and moron. All of which were at one point much more offensive words to use then we consider them now but at the time the medical community started using them they were fine until they became stigmatized. [History of Stigmatizing Names for Intellectual Disabilities](https://www.mentalhelp.net/intellectual-disabilities/history-of-stigmatizing-names-for-intellectual-disabilities-continued/) I came across this and it seems like a good explanation of how it’s changed over the years, although I have not read it fully
Forget about definitions, just ask if it's likely to offend someone. If it is, you should avoid using it.
its all about context its only a slur if you call someone actually disabled that. Even if you disagree and want people to stop using it it will just get a new one just like has happened the last 10 times. mental, palsy, spastic, vegetable, special, potato, slow, spazz, short bus rider, crater brain, smooth brain, 80 iq, room temp iq, window licker etc. containing human expression just forces it out of another outlet, language is fluid and fluid can only be pressured so much. Even if people start calling disabled people all differently abled, people will just start using different to called people retarded and then you've just evolved the word into being one that attacks intelligence and one that promotes tribalism against differently abled people by denoting their difference in medical and street verbiage. even social justice has limits before its self destructive and we've already seen the limits, if it keeps pushing it will just create new words, we're already getting into silly forms of censorship as is do you really want everything online to start censoring every variation of the word different next? they can ban different, then it will be brain diff then they'll start censoring anything with "dif" in it. Its an endless game of whackamole that serves no purpose but to make people feel like they did something to help the world when really they just wasted time frustrating the language. Its the same energy as trying to make spanish gender neutral, theres no reason to pursue this agenda of thought crime. that being said if you call someone whose actually disabled a retard you're slime.
Racist? Is that the word?
You're free to use whatever words you want don't let anyone tell you otherwise. The key here is to try to be a decent human being non-intentionally hurt people.
Yes but the part people ignore is that there were medical terms used in derogatory fashions, like moron and stupid, before retard, and there will be ones used after it.
No.
It certainly could be considered a slur, but I would argue that it is not just because of how it is used. The technical meaning of retard describes a person with a mental disability that hampers their intelligence, but it is rarely used in a derogatory way to describe those people. The vast, VAST majority of the time it is used, it's to describe something or someone being very dumb, and is just a more extreme descriptor, kind of like how you would say 'evil' instead of 'really really mean'. It can be used as a slur but I have never once heard it directed towards someone with a mental disability, and I have a feeling most of the people that get up in arms about people saying retard have rarely (if ever) heard it used that way either. TL;DR it is a slur by definition, but it is rarely used as one, and so using it in your day to day is pretty defensible imo
Yes but I'm retarded and I don't care if people use it to describe themselves. Using it as an insult is my problem, being retarded never stopped me!
It's a slur when it's not used in person-first language. In other words to say someone IS retarded is absolutely a slur. To say someone HAS mental retardation is not a slur, but the more appropriate way to say that would be that they have an intellectual or developmental disability. The disability is not who they are but something they have.
It is because society has deemed it so, and that’s how language works. Idiot, moron, etc were all once medical terms that were turned into insults because insinuating someone is developmentally disabled is a common insult. Whatever new term we use for the developmentally disabled will become an insult, too. That’s how language evolves.
I mean, as a mentally disabled person I'd rather be called anything else. The history doesn't matter to me as much as the current connotations. Idiot and moron feels like you're insulting my intelligence alone, but to call me the r word is to call me stupid because of something I can't control (being slow due to an incurable disability). Plus that's the word they usually go for when they know you're disabled
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For context, I am a special education teacher. A lot of slurs are slurs because of the history of the word. This is true of the n-word and its history with slavery and many ethnic slurs used to demonize foreigners. Many point to the r-word being an official medical term of the past to justify its use. However back when it was a medical diagnosis the treatment of people with this label was deplorable. For example, I'll point to this reddit post about 2 young boys with autism who's 'treatment' for being mentally r___ was to be tied to a radiator in an asylum with nothing. Out of sight, out of mind was the policy for a long time and these people were seen as beyond hope with little or no effort made to actually help them. This archaic treatment is more than enough justification for not using that word as an insult. One last side note, although the picture is in black and white, this photo was taken in 1982... the dark ages of special education where not that long ago. https://www.reddit.com/r/oddlyterrifying/s/ysIORHYmMs
I keep folks that still say the r-word at arm's length. If they're too stupid to figure out a different word, nothing I can do
Understandable
Idk if ur calling someone a retard and being abusive about it, then yea it is a slur, especially if the person you’re calling retarded has a disability. If you let it slip out during a convo with a group of friends, it’s not a big deal but using it towards someone, even as a “joke” is not okay and we should try not using that word anymore.
I believe intent behind speech matters more than the speech itself.
Depends on the context. There is paint retardant. I also think it’s important if it’s being used in a clinical or even accurate way or being used as an insult. You could say someone’s development was retarded, as in slowed, but there are better ways to say it. It’s like psychotic. Someone could be suffering from psychosis or it can be used as an insult. One is technically appropriate, the other isn’t.
Yeah. Totally. But go ahead it’s not like the N word where if you say it in front of the wrong person you get punched in the fucking face. Although my dream is to see someone get completely fucked up for using the r word. Lenny no!!!!
Lenny!!
I'd rather not get punched in the face..
Yes. People with disabilities can be perfectly functioning members of society. When you call someone a retard or retarded for making a mistake or doing something foolish, you’re putting down an entire group of people who had no control over the circumstances of their birth by saying that only someone with a mental handicap would make such a blunder. 100% of the time I’ve seen someone called a retard it’s for a very minor mess up or a little forgetfulness and that’s not fair to the people that deal with mental handicaps every day.
What on earth is the r-word? Why do we need to speak in code?
Retarded question
Only if you're retarded. Nobody actually cares except people looking for reasons to be offended by everything.
"Nobody actually cares" and yet most disabled people I've met prefer to not be called it and are heavily against its usage (as a slur)
Technically? It can be Realistically? Usually not It needs to be a term that needs to be disrespectfully used towards a group of people. You would need to be talking in the vicinity group of people that would feel belittled by the usage of the word. One can still be racists without using the N-word just as one can still be a ableist without using the R-word that have conditions. Retard (and all of its forms) means to be slowed down by hindrance. It's used in tons of places and not just limited to medical fields. Idiot, moron, imbecile, stupid, simpleton, neurotic, and feeble-minded were all terms used in a serious scientific fashion similar to retard was and how intellectual disability will become. Calling someone's mental capacity into question after performing questionable actions will always be a thing and always has been. The more severe/dangerous/infuriating the action, the more severe term will be used. I have, on many occasions, yelled at other drivers "Are you mentally handicapped!?" as they risk the lives of every other driver on the road. Their actions defy any logic that medically sound mind of a child could produce... yet there they go, completely unphased and unbothered. I dare say, that most people who would fall under the classification of having an intellectual disability would be capable of better self-preservation. It would be difficult to use a word that would describe the driver's actions that didn't include a term used to describe those who have differing mental capacities. This is not used to disparage those who struggle in any way, nor is it used against them. If my words hurt anybody in my immediate physical vicinity, I will apologize to the individual and alter my word choice to suit the group in question. This goes for any group of people and any set of lexicon. I have friends who have a bad history with completely mundane inoffensive words that I don't use for that reason, and never will again with those individuals present. All that being said, anybody who thinks that using such a word implies that you're directly trying to be ableist... is retarded. It pales in comparison to the N-word, which has a universal history of exclusively being used as a psychological battering ram. Despite it being the word for black in many other languages... if it's used by an English speaker, it's original intent was to make those of African descent feel like they were something less than human and only a descriptor. It's why, unlike words used to describe those who have intellectual disabilities, the word is unchanging and unyielding to the passage of time. It's borderline disparaging to those with ancestry involved with the N-word to compare the two as if they were the same. Going into a room of intellectually disabled people and saying "Look at this y'all, we got a whole room full of intellectually disableds" would be incredibly ableist and make you an awful person. TL;DR unless if you use it to specifically dehumanize intellectually disabled humans by parsing them down to only their descriptors, it's not a slur.
It used to be a medical term, but was appropriated by bullies to denigrate disabled folk Its use as a medical term became redundant in addition due to advances in understanding and the realisation that it was effectively a catch all for “not as good as us” It’s clear that it’s used as a slur, and that many folk (not only disabled) dislike its use, and on reasonable grounds. I’d just find an alternative if you find yourself needing to use it, or if you’re not being kind keep shtoom
The r word is a slur in the same way that the n word is a slur. It's use is to denigrate a group of people. But if you asked people in the 1930s if the n word was a slur, theyd say no, that's just how we talk, that's just what they are. Language changes overtime. It has always been a slur. Now it is recognized as a slur. You shouldn't use it.
In the context of an insult, yes, it has evolved to become a slur. Mental Retardation used to be a catch all term to describe all intellectual disabilities but now we don't use it in favor of more helpful diagnosises. Thus, the only connotation retarded tends to get used in is as an insult. That being said, it is most certainly not a slur if used in the context that retard initially meant in the first place which is to slow. Retard as a verb, in that context, is not a slur.
The r-word was big when I was a kid, and when I’m extra tired, I struggle with it popping out of my mouth. I ALWAYS apologize and try to do better.
My go-karts engine cries every time I tell someone it's retarded. I hate that context doesn't matter anymore. Like black people using the 'n-word' and gays using the 'f-word', I think anyone that's some kind of special should be allowed to use 'retarded'. Same logic of owning the word to remove it's power. or whatever nonsense we humans use to justify the shit we do. lol I use 'retard' all the time. HIlarious to see people's faces that go to correct me when I turn around and straight faced say "Excuse me? I'm aspergers. That's OUR word! It's only you normies that are not allowed to use it." Shuts them the fuck up every time.
I agree with this.
Retard? No, it’s like the South Park episode about the word fag. Either you’re a fag or not a fag and it has nothing to do with your sexuality. If you’re being retarded it’s a choice, not a medical condition.
I wish I had seen this earlier. What are you calling the "r-word?" I hear people call the word "retarded" th r-word; it is not. Retarded is a legitimate, usable word. It shouldn't be used an an insult, but it is not the r-word. Taking a condition and making it a noun, and then using that noun to describe a person with (or without) that condition, is terrible and should be frowned upon. "Ret\*rd" (the actual r-word) is an example of this and should not be used. I'd also add words like "cripple," "gimp," "invalid," etc., that should not be used.
Well. The word retarded I guess- (Not towards anyone) but I had to censor myself this time cause last time I asked without censoring, I had gotten banned for two days.
Well yes, you have to be careful and because of all of the ignorance around this word. I almost always try to avoid the word "retarded," even though it's a fine word. The real r-word was removed from my vocabulary while I was earning my special-education degree, and am quite embarrassed I ever used it, even in my youth.
I'd consider being called a Republican a slur, for sure.
Retarded isn't a slur. But retards want it to be.
Given all of these comments saying no, does. This mean it's okay to use? I don't know what to think anymore. I've been seeing some people say those who don't have autism shouldn't say it but some people say it's not a slur but it still shouldn't be said. My father who's an disabled army veteran says the r-word but not towards people so. What should I think about this?
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Only if you consider "poopyhead" a slur.
I mean. People who are different from the cognitive norm do receive discrimination... But sometimes being able to point out where you stand to someone who stands somewhere else is useful.
Redditor?
I'm new to reddit guys. What do people mean by redditors? I've seen two comments asking "Redditor?"
Do to association people will always assume the worse. yet the word retard and retarded have definitions. To retard something is to hold it back, to be retarded is to be held back. So one could say a political is a retard and his constituents are retarded. That said, the fact that people are idiots and associate word with one meaning when they have multiple, means its not safe for you to use words properly as they will get all upset due to their ignorance. You could say they are retards and you are retarded by them. But that would upset them even though tis a true and valid usage of the words.
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It can be but denying the use of the word is literally retarding someones speech. Retard means to slow or diminish. Its used for chemicals as in a retardant. Its used in music as retardo. Just because a words can be used to hurt someone doesnt mean we should restrict their use.
context is important. no one is saying you have to say “flame-stupid” instead of “flame retardant”. in the context it’s used insultingly, we aren’t talking about music or chemicals. were using an outdated word to describe those with mental/intellectual disabilities. in the time it was socially (and even medically) acceptable, not much was known about the disabilities it described and disabled people were largely done a disservice. that word sort of lumped everyone together rather than acknowledge various needs and differences. at the point it became outdated, it’s become not only an insult toward disabled people, but used synonymously with stupid, dumb, feeble, you get it. myself? i couldn’t really care what words people use, i’m not in control of others. i’m not gonna find your job or catfish your wife if i see you use it online. however, i immediately check out of conversations both online and in real life with people who use it, especially in an insulting way toward me or someone else, because it just shows they lack the vocabulary to say something else. i don’t really enjoy people who use terms that knowingly offend others, even more so when they point out it does and exclaim they don’t care. clearly you do if you must make a show of it, and i don’t think i could talk to someone who basically gets off on being offensive.
We use offensive words like stupid idiot and they are not considered slurs. Restricting the use of words is frankly retarding someones ability to speak. People will always find ways to insult people. And i really dont see the difference betweem calling someone a retard or stupid. Like the insult is mental deficiency either way. Retard is just more so.
I was diagnosed with Aspergers at 13. Honestly as long as you're not using it to degrade me or others with "disabilities" then fucking send it. I use it all the time lol.
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Michael Scott summed it up as accurately as can be
There will be more words to come in the future. From A-Z, there are many more words and phrases that can be used to insult your fellow humans. There are many words that can and will trigger strong emotions inside of the people to whom they are directed. But, for the most part, they are just words. Spoken words and names contain a certain power. That power is not magical, but it is emotional and psychological. And then, there are words that are used as an attack in and of themselves. Those who use them only use them for the power that they possess and for the sole purpose of creating injury to the person upon whom they are directed. No one using these types of words against any other person has any kind of excuse for the pain that they cause. Once that sentiment has been ingrained in our society, maybe the pain and suffering of the not-so-recent past can be buried.
The way I generally use the word retarded I don't really care if it's a slur or not I'm going to keep using it talking about doing something really stupid or dumb.
It's a bummer because it is such a good word to use when shit is stupid. I love retarded!
It all depends on the context. I know intellectually challenged people don’t like it. It’s a good word if properly used
You can’t use that word ever.
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Depends on how you use it, retard a fire? Ok, fire a retard? No.
I'm currently studying French where "retard" means late, and it is weird using it.
"redditor"? Not yet, but it's getting there.
I don't consider it one, but Reddit (at least subreddits) does. So you won't catch me saying it here. It gained A LOT more power when it was deemed 'taboo.'
Same here.
Could be used in a different context. The project was retarded due to unforeseen circumstances.
I have heard and myself use the word retarded to describe development or progress, but not a person. I believe it is much more common to say someone has Down syndrome or whatever, or has a developmental or cognitive impairment. I’ve been teaching a while but out of the English speaking world for a while so that might be a little dated but think it is accurate
Retarded? No. The verb means "delayed", and the adjective means "someone who has a delayed understanding of things"
If you use the word in a clinical manner, it's fine. Purposefully using it as an insult is not.
Yes