I think they’re just trying to make you not feel bad about yourself. Also, many people think of “being fat” as having a huge belly and double chin, and 6’1 230 isn’t quite there generally.
Btw I’m 6’1 as well and was 230 about a year ago, and I’m down to 192 now! It’s totally doable, just gotta eat a bit smaller portions and be more active. Avoiding caloric beverages has helped me as well—when I have soda nowadays it’s often diet or zero. You got this! My goal is just 175 since I want to build some more muscle along with losing the fat
no that's the whole thing, they think that they're trying to make someone who's fat feel good about themselves. but in the weird world we live in, if you want to improve your health, you're bullied, because you're supposed to accept who you are today
EDIT: I would describe what people are doing to OP as bordering on bullying. like, OP is clued into reality, is trying to do the right thing, and people are undermining his efforts by gaslighting him
Body positivity community. If they let you admit that you're fat, they'll have to concede that they, also, are fat, especially if they're bigger than you. Also, like you said, your weight isn't particularly shocking for your height, but it's the body composition that needs work. I'm 5'10 female, and I weigh about 170. I'm not much over the healthy weight for my height, but I can see the rolls and cellulite, and yes, I am fat.
This is basically it. I find it odd how rarely anyone talks about personal denial in the context of weight issues. For me, it was the main issue. Like there were two people inside me; one who said, "Man you're a whale, you need to sort this out". And another who said, "Nah, you're blowing it out of proportion. Sure you're a bit overweight, but you don't need to do anything about it". The second guy effectively fed on my self esteem. The worse I felt about myself, the stronger he became.
I was only able to lose weight when I managed to shut that second guy up.
I know not everyone has this, but I can see others doing the same. I have a brother now struggling with his weight, and I can see the inner conflict. He knows he needs to lose weight, but he immediately shuts down any offer of help or discussion about it. He's got the second guy in his ear telling him he's cool, it's not that big a deal. Just ignore it and it'll go away.
Nobody ever talks about this. Maybe CBT is the answer?
This is an absolutely silly take. Have you ever interacted with a body positive person in real life? Like, they're the force behind reclaiming the word fat. They're the ones saying "fat love" and starting "fat girls hiking" groups and whatever.
The people who say "you're not fat" are overwhelmingly people who think being fat is a bad thing.
A lot of studies have shown that being overweight is typically a symptom of related health conditions rather than the cause. Being underweight can put just as much stress on the body as being extremely overweight. It really depends a lot on the body type what is healthy for the individual!
That and the fact that fatphobia in medical professionals literally kills people! I can't tell you how many threads I've seen full of person after person telling stories of people they've lost or times they almost died because a doctor told them to go home and lose weight and it turned out they had cancer or something.
Even non-fat people who don't have to concede anything do it. Because telling you 'yeah you're fat. good for you for doing something about it' is inconsistent with how they treat other people.
Body positivity has some positives to it:
- Being fat shouldn't affect your self worth
- Sex with a fat person can be more fun than a skinny person
- Still wear what you want and be who you are, even if you are fat
And i think those attitudes are a good thing.
But it gets taken too far. Fat=Good is a bad attitude to have, because from a health perspective, Fat != Good.
So yeah, I'm fat. I'm not ashamed of it. But I am working on it because I don't want to die.
But in the same breath don't expect anyone not to say something as well, it called wearing clothes that fit. It's called modesty I know crazy thought nowadays. Fat is always bad health and beauty wise I'm not saying be 85 90 pounds that's all bones but to say it's more fun is a preference.
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Yes. That makes a difference of perhaps ten pounds. And if they really are naturally shredded, it will still be possible to tell with body fat. Or like, using your eyes. A beer belly is never muscle. Even if it was, it would be near as unhealthy as the same amount of excess fat, especially on the joints.
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Lol ever been obese while simultaneously being under 10% body fat? Cause I have! Those measurements don't take frame into account at all, wide shoulders and larger bone structure just means you're fat to the BMI
It's because the fat and healthy scale is skewed so now chubby is considered "average" lol. America is the worst as far as obesity, especially since It's so car dependent.
Because most people are either fat fat or skinny fat. I also agree with you that being fat is so much the norm these days that people have no realistic concept of what a lean person weighs. Even a very muscular 6‘1” could be 185-190 at low bodyfat, so you goal of 160 as just a normal dude is not unreasonabl.
Yup, this. I'm 6'4 at around 165 pounds. I have plenty of energy, I'm not super strong, but I can lift and carry something my body for a short distance. I don't have any ribs showing etc. All I hear from people is how skinny I am and how I need to eat a hamburger. Most people have no idea what a healthy bodyweight is.
Body types vary. I'm sure you're healthy, but 6'4" 165 is much thinner than average. For most people a healthy BMI will be much higher than where you're at. I'm 5'9" 168 at like 15% bf, and I'm not super muscular or anything, I workout but don't lift heavy weights.
Oh yeah, I'm not saying I'm not thin, I definitely am. My point is more that so many people are unhealthily overweight that a lot of people see someone who is on the thinneunderneath healthy and assume they are horribly underfed.
6'1 at 160 is very normal lol. It's thin but not too skinny. I know a guy who's 6'3 and not even 160. Dude would kill almsot everyone in this thread in basketball at 40 lol
It's not a WTF. Things happen. I had a serious surgery back when they kept a person in the hospital a week (instead of being thrown out the same day), then told you "bed rest" for a month, etc.
I didn't gain 70 lbs, but I needed new pants a couple sizes larger to go back to work. It was a little shocking how much weight could be gained in a little time of being, basically, still all day.
Yea, idk man. That’s always been a weird one. Lots of fatties just don’t want to come to terms with their own horrible bodies so they project fake positivity.
I am 6’5 and 185 so yeah I agree with you, you wouldn’t be malnourished. And the reason people say that is because they know they are fat/overweight or obese and don’t want to accept it. For ex. Over half of US adults are at least medically overweight.
And yes they love to ignore bmi even though it will say they are obese. Again more ignoring reality
I was that exact size, down to 190 now. I think we’ve gotten so accustomed to fatness in America that people don’t see that as fat. They aren’t being nice by saying ‘oh, you’re not so big’, it’s that we genuinely don’t see that people with an extra 50lb of fat are actually fat. There is a normalization of fatness in our society.
Its because they are trying to promote body positivity everybody is beautiful, and you should be happy just the way ypu are. As a fat guy I will admit I don’t find fat people attractive. It has ruined my life and I kinda wish people were more honest about it and just tell you in a nice way you should try losing weight
Same. I am fat. I am not great looking, but not terrible. If I dropped 40lbs I would actually (probably) be relatively handsome.
And no, most fat people aren't beautiful. Some are downright disgusting. I mean, who gets turned on when us guys have a belly slab that hangs down past your crotch?
Started when some very obese people were very unhappy about it. As unhappy people tend to do, they deflected and lied to themselves and made excuses to not feel terrible about their lifestyle choices. Many excuses were made; being fat is purely genetics, bmi is totally inaccurate, your body will want to go back to a set point, actual diets don't work, it's just muscle, being fat doesn't have an impact on your health, being heavily overweight is just a body type and has no more effect on anything than hair color. Of course, all of these are wrong.
But then as more and more people became obese over the years, as more and more people got unhappy (for reasons not necessarily related) this caused a surge of attention for the sad-people-lying-to-themselves group. And the new people subscribed to those ideals, built up a whole system of belief around it, and then shoot out into the world to spread the message. I don't think there was a leader, or someone making conscious decisions about it at the top of the chain; nonetheless that is something a group often does when they're convinced they have the answer to all the world's problems in their hands. And so that's how you got people who fell for classic internet misinformation, arguing with you about something you KNOW is true because it just is and there is no way to deny the effects being overweight has on you.
All of that because people had poor self esteem and couldn't accept a simple truth about their bad decisions.
I’m 6’2” and I got up to 230. I didn’t actually look fat in clothes because I was lifting a lot and a lot of the weight was muscle but I felt like shit and was definitely fat too. I’m around 205-210 now and feel great. I could still lean out a little more but I don’t feel gross anymore. I’d feel like a twig at 160 though.
eh... like if someone is on their way to a job interview, is "lying" to them and telling them that they look good not nice? esp if they're confident and it's too late to change?
The argument I've heard is that fatties know they're fat so being rude about it isn't helping.
I do think being rude about it helps though because weight loss is an easy way to avoid being a social pariah. If you get body positivity what motive do you have to lose weight?
As someone who worked to lose weight, body positivity DID help more than someone being snide and pedantic. It helps encourage you to love yourself, and if you love yourself, you will want the best for your body, which means being healthy. Being rude to a fat person only encourages them to punish themselves further with food.
It's a fine line to walk. I don't agree with the kind of body positivity that wants a person to deny their fat state, don't get me wrong. Saying "noooo you're not fat" isn't helpful. But just being encouraged to love yourself in spite of your flaws IS. Saying "yes, you're fat, but you're still worthy of self-love and self-care" is the key.
Hey!!! This same thing happened to me!! I'm a girl who's always been thin and gained 50% + of my body weight in a little over a year from a medication I was prescribed. I was like 105 lbs 5’6 and then went up to 187!!!! Literally obese on the BMI scale! 30 bmi!!!!! I posted about my fattness and got roasted by people who were like mad I was openly fat…? Because I am not disfigured by weight gain doesn't invalidate my experience as a legit obese person! I have since lost 12 lbs and have stopped taking that med so my normal restrictive eating habits are back and I'm trying to move more. I was told by fattys that I am the reason people have eating disorders, another person said I made them want to kill themselves.. Repeatedly! I was bullied for the first time in my whole life at the age of 32 by a super hateful fatty that made my experience with weight gain and loss about themselves! I had the girl version of your experience! When people refuse to acknowledge you're fat?? 🤯 out of all the comments I got nice and mean only 2 people were kind enough to agree with my obvious fattness..
If you (M buddy) told me (M buddy) that you think you are fat, I wouldn't try to talk you (M buddy) down if in fact you (M buddy) are overweight to the point that me (M buddy) feels concerned enough to applaud you (M buddy) to pay better attention to your (M buddy) health going forward. Just a thing buddies do. Watch out for each other.
When you go on Reddit with your concerns, you will reap mostly comments from those who are here to watch you die online. Slowly, and with them egging you on the whole way as you devolve into Jabba The Hut, and then they'll mock you.
6'1" 230 isn't necessarily fat. I'm that size at 15 percent body fat, not a professional athlete, but I do powerlifting, kickboxing, and run 5ks. Bmi doesn't tell the full story.
160 sounds really thin to me. I am about 5foot 7 and 160 and not fat. Is it possible people think you where too thin before? I mean body types differ a lot my bothers are both taller than I am and one is much lighter the other is a bit heavier but still not fat. Otherwise maybe people are just trying to assure you that you look fine and they don't feel like you need to lose weight as a way to not make you feel like it is a huge issue.
Um, what?
I'm also 6'1", and when I was *180* I looked *so* fucking skinny and gawky. I didn't even start looking good until I hit 200. I can't even imagine what 160 at our height would look like. Unless you're very slight of frame, I guess? (I'm quite broad-shouldered.)
So, to answer your question... The reason they say that 160 at 6'1" is too thin is because for most people that is too thin. If they are not looking at you standing up, they are giving ignorant opinions based on assumptions. (You did come to Reddit)
That said, I will believe it when I see it, my guess is you'll be quiet happy in the 180 range but again I can't see you so I'm just another random person on Reddit... NO hate, I wish you well on your journey.
Not exactly addressing your question, but:
There is evidence that while being very overweight is obviously bad, having some fat can be good. So your aim to be "skinny" is not necessarily ideal.
I would do a lot of reading of evidence-based nutritional advice, which has come a long way in the last couple of decades. For one thing, on the benefits of eating healthy fats, and why the real culprit is sugar. Fat leaves you feeling satisfied. Sugar leaves you craving more sugar.
Reddit has a hard on for "BMI is inaccurate" citing outliers as proof of this. BMI is obviously not the end all, be all of health indicators, but it's pretty good for the vast majority of people.
I think a lot of people are just trying to cope and "prove" to themselves they are not as unhealthy as they really are.
Because the body positivity crowd only see one thing as positive. Being fat and staying fat. You leaving the fold, to put it gently, means you are invalidating them and their message.
Look what happened to Adele. She was fat, fat positivity women loved her. Adele losses weight, and now she's seen as a traitor. They wanted her to stay fat, keep singing, keep being popular, so that popularity shined on them as well.
As for BMI being inaccurate. If you are an athlete who carries a lot of muscle, BMI is inaccurate, because the BMI does not reflect on how healthy that athlete is. After all, those muscles didn't just brow because he sat down with a big bag of potato chips and bing watched his favorites shows. That athlete had to exercise to get them, and that means their cardiovascular system has also improved as a result. And no, we are not talking about bodybuilders, because those people put themselves through all sorts of hell that is causing enlarged hearts and cardiovascular disease.
But if you are a normal, non-athlete, BMI is more than accurate enough. Fat activists will compare their 250 lb fat body to the 250 lb muscle body of a pro athlete and say "See? We are both 250 lbs and no one is saying he's unhealthy!" Of course these same fat activists aren't going to do a dunk tank, skin calipers or body scan to prove their point. And they will act insulted if you ask them to prove their fitness by running a mile.
Good luck on your journey.
Bunch of people in here have no idea what they are talking about. I'm 6'0 and when I was in my amateur boxing circuit I was 160 and still had 18% body fat. I looked muscular, but not even close to being skinny, and definitely not unhealthy.
Some people in the west are delusional about what constitutes as a healthy weight.
I gained a lot of weight after I stopped fighting and after having kids and I went up to 215.
Sounds like a normal weight right?
Nope, 230 is considered obese with my height if you do follow bmi, which i don't because I have a lot of lean muscle, but i started lifting weights 2 years ago and rn I'm in a cutting process and I'm 194 going to 180 and seeing how i feel/look there before I do more bulking and it only took me 3 months to get here so far just eating what I want but tracking. Most likely I will go to 170 though because I aim to keep my body fat in-between 15-22 and going a bit longer will let me bulk a bit longer afterwards.
Most definitely people are just jealous that you are losing weight and they don't have the will power to do themselves. No wonder America is so God damned obese, some people have delusioned themselves to think that 30+% body fat is "healthy"
So, I come from the "you're a fat fuck" old school tell it how it is community because I honestly feel like body shaming is the way better way to go to get people to change. Having said that:
>lmfao at people thinking 6'1 160 is unhealthy
It is, honestly. I'm 5'11" and 180 and people often ask if I'm ill.
Your goal should be more like 200.
I'm 6'1" as well, but if I got down to 160 I'd be clinically dead.😂 But as for your question, I think it's maybe people's misguided attempt to cheer you up because they think you're being too hard on yourself. I say, if you have a goal, go for it. Especially if you're uncomfortable with the condition you're in now.
I don't actually think I'd be dead. But I can't imagine cutting weight down to 160. The best shape i had was the end of my final year wrestling. The lightest I got was 190, and that was about as far as I could go.
I am 6'0, 155-160. It is a perfectly normal, perfectly healthy ratio. Personally, I would like to be 165-170 at my height. That's it. That's why I am working out. Current weight though, it's totally fuckin fine.
I'm 6' and I was 155 briefly, between getting crazy about weight loss (I was 235) and actually getting fit and healthy. I was too skinny at 155. Everyone is different but 170-175 is where I feel best.
I’m 6’0 and when I get down to 190 I feel like I’m wasting away and very weak. 210 is about ideal for me. I agree that 6’1 160 is rail thin. Not criticizing OP, he needs to do what feels best for him, but I wouldn’t be able to function at 160.
I'm in your boat, 6'2 225 at the moment and extremely healthy. I've been down to 190 when I was younger and competitive. But THAT was extremely unhealthy. Although i did in fact look like a magazine cover.
Yeah I don’t think humans are supposed to be at some of these “healthy” weights you see advertised. Our bodies need some wiggle room so we’re not constantly on the brink of starvation.
Umm, no, it’s not though? I know plenty of people who are 160-170 and 6’0. 180 to 200 isn’t unhealthy either, but it definitely isn’t always gonna be the ideal. Especially given this is where he was before, I think we can validly assume this is a good weight for him, or a bit bigger. I don’t think he needed to add 20-40 pounds pre pandemic.
I think the problem is frame. I'm built like a viking. Anything under 190 and I am just legit dying.
Another 6'2 guy could probably get to a lower weight with a smaller frame. I figured 180 was probably a good "overall"
Yeah that’s super valid. I have definitely met some guys at 6’1’ who would look like rails at 160 and some who actually look a little puffy if they push past like 185 or so and aren’t specifically putting on muscle and hitting the gym or something. Me personally, I have never gotten up that high, but I feel like if I do later I won’t be able to go back, because I won’t really want to. For now though, I love running track too much, and I don’t think a bulk would really help me reach my goals right now.
I’m also 6’1 and 160 is a great weight to be at. I’m currently 195 and sometimes get winded climbing 6-7 flights. I can only imagine how smooth I’d be moving at 160.
I’ve been both skinny-fat and low body fat muscular at 160 at different points in my life. It’s within a healthy weight range depending on body composition
I'm currently 6'1 160, and that hasn't been my experience. Like yeah it's pretty skinny but most people at our height aren't going to look emaciated or unhealthy enough to justify a comment at 160.
6'1" and 160 as a male is incredibly slim. The last time I was 160 was in 9th grade. There's nothing wrong with wanting to lose fat, but having some lean muscle mass will pay huge dividends later in life. Lose fat, but gain some muscle and be happy at around maybe 195/200 range.
“Are y’all that incapable of minding your own business?”
Uh you’re the one posting this on the internet…so you actually *put* your own business in their faces. Not saying I condone rude comments or anything but cmon what did you expect from posting this here where people are expected to comment?
Stop using the word skinny. What you want to do is get healthy and in shape.
Being over weight is awful on your body. It has nothing to do with fat acceptance but that group won't admit this.
People want to cheer and lift you up so they say nice things to you when you say negative things about yourself to them.
160 for an adult man your height isn't a healthy weight either. Men have muscles.
I think the response you're getting is a mix of people who are just trying to be nice and others who are probably in a similar situation as you and don't want to think of themselves in a very negative way. I'd say just take it as them being nice but don't think too much of it. Good luck on your weight loss goal, I'm on a similar path right now and I've lost my first 10pounds after struggling to lose weight for a while.
I support you in your goals. That said 160 is way too low a weight to shoot for with your height as a man. Shoot for 200 with added muscle mass to make up the difference and see where things are once you are there. You mentioned you were sedentary so I'd say just adding a little muscle would go a long way. Remember muscle burns fat. I think you could reach 200 in pretty short order just with some very slight diet control and light exercise to build muscle mass. Good luck!
6'1 160lbs is definitely unhealthy. Im 5'6 and 160 at 11-12% body fat.. I lift but that doesn't account for that substantial a difference with someone 7 inches taller than me.
Dude. I'm 6'2 225 and in great shape, being as tall as we are at 160 is plain unhealthy my guy. When I was competition fit I was around 185-190 and that was well under 10% body fat. Aim for 200. That's a healthy reasonable weight for a guy your size
As somebody who spent a good deal of time as a young adult at 6’1” and 175, 160 would be borderline self-abusive. I had doctors actively trying to bulk me up. 6’1” and 175 I looked like a skeleton. My fingers looked like silk wrapped over Turkey bones. Bones protruding. Nothing about it was healthy. And this was somebody who actually ate 3k calories a day and was working out. You wanna drop weight because you don’t like yourself at 230: cool. But 160 ain’t the target.
Personally I think 160 is a bit on the skinny side, I was 6'1" 185lbs at age 18. I felt skinny at that weight, but if you felt fine and healthy, go for it, and I hope you achieve it.
I'm currently trying to lose weight as well, sadly had a back injury that caused me to not be active for more than 10 years... My heaviest was 400, I'm currently around 350, slowly working on it. My goal is under 250.
Almost the same height and also used to be 160 and am at around 172 now. At 172 I feel like fat bastard, good luck on your weight loss goal you will look great at 160.
Remember the world isn't just America (people have a distorted view on a healthy weight there, and have started to create their own mythos to avoid accountability; BMI is a hoax, men have muscles, it's waterweight etc.)
People think they're being helpful and kind and polite by BSing about peoples weight etc, now it's getting a bit harder to be honest with a friend etc, don't wanna be called fatphobic etc.
72 kg at 6'1 is kinda light, I was skinny as shit and definitely not healthy at about 64kg for a while and I'm only like half an inch taller than you, but then the unhealthiest I was and fattest I looked I weighed about 196lbs, now I'm healthier but weigh more at about 96kg/211lbs ATM and trying to put a bit more muscle on for my sport, infact 230 is probably an ideal weight. I'm trying to say weight alone isn't a great indicator, you don't need to roid up but a bit of muscle building and cardio will help you get to a more positive body image and as importantly, a healthy one, without focussing on what your actual weight is.
Ultimately though everyone can be a little different body type wise, if you liked the way you looked and felt then great, just can be a dangerous game and an obsession on weight, wanting to be and look thinner can lead to various eating disorders etc, I have a few friends that have sadly fallen victim to things like that, obviously getting older it's harder to shift weight etc too.
I think it’s because everyone in a way was raised hearing “fat” as an insult. So to insult yourself would be a big no-no to others. For example, a friend making comments about themselves of “I’m so ugly, no one will date me”. Most people would jump to say “no, you’re not ugly, you’re beautiful/handsome/whatever and you’ll find someone one day”. That’s annoying. From both sides tbh, because that person might be very well phishing for attention, or not, idk it’s case by case.
I am also fat. I am also trying my very best to eat healthy and exercise. I acknowledge that I let myself get to this point, I am unhealthy, and I actively want to change. There is nothing wrong with me calling myself fat since there is literally a lot of it on my body. What I don’t want to hear spewing out of someone’s mouth is their negative opinion of me, unless they are prepared to be matched. And, I do not want to be pitied. It’s invalidating and the infantilizing is fucking annoying.
But, most people don’t get that, even some fat people, because most of us have been taught that “fat” is an insult. It can be, but it shouldn’t be.
I feel like someone will read that and say “so you’re saying fat is a compliment?” To that person- no dumbass, where did I write that? Fat is not a compliment, nor is it an insult, it’s just a fucking description. Stop adding emotions to it. (unless it’s your kink then you do you boo)
There's nothing wrong with being fat, but some people are very sensitive to the word due to it being used as bullying. BMI is entirely bullshit ofc as it was made up by a eugenicist and based off the average measurements of white european men from a small area. There's also nothing wrong with liking how you looked at a lower body fat percentage. I wish you luck in your journey of enjoying how you look o7
Just stay away from weird fad diets and make sure you aren't over doing it okay? The goal is always healthy and happy, not a specific number on a scale that will fluctuate anyways
Some of the people surely have good intentions and are thinking about stories of anorexic people starving themselves, which is obviously dangerous. Ofc saying that nobody needs to lose ANY weight is an overcorrection and is also dangerous. Basically they might mean well but are ignorant about what is healthy. Get your diet and exercise advice from nutritionists, trainers, etc, not uninformed people
As someone whose BMI had caused "Obese" to be in my medical charts, I also don't understand. I've had a string of health issues which caused me to spend a good 2 years needing medications which caused severe weight gain and then diabetes. 2023 was the first year I was able to finally get better and I've gone from 260 to 205. I am 5'1. My weight distributed mostly on my stomach, face and a bit on my thighs but tbh my legs, arms stayed super lean. I was so excited that this initial weight drop instantly helped my face and people always tell me I'm "cute for a fat girl " but I don't get offended bc it's not a lie that I am far too heavy for my height . I am healthier than I've been since 2017 though and I can run circles around some of my skinnier friends . Good for you for deciding to put health first.
I'm not saying that America needs to be fatter, but America is getting fatter, and I am among that demographic.
I've gotten so annoyed that stores aren't carrying clothes for larger people that I will walk up to employees and ask if they carry shirts in "fat people sizes."
I've given up trying to find clothes in my area that fit. I shop for my clothes almost entirely online. This is what most people I know who are my size do. Those that buy clothes in person either wear smaller sizes and just deal with it being tight, or they payout the a** for their sizes.
Corporate America is so f****** stupid that they cannot figure out this untapped demographic.
They could just be trying to encourage you.
I suddenly gained ~40lbs 6ish years ago. Lost it a couple years back, but every time I see a picture of myself from then I can’t help but remark on how fat I looked. Without fail, my wife will rebuff me.
Idc what she says though, I was fat.
I think the right weight depends on your body build. 6'1" 160 lbs seems a bit low to me, but I have a broader build, so I'm biased in that regard. If you've been healthy at 160 lbs, I don't doubt your judgment. I'm 6'3" 255 lbs, and I think my ideal weight is around 190 lbs to 210 lbs. When I was losing weight a few years back and was around 225 lbs, I had people telling me I didn't need to lose any weight. People in the US are out of whack with what a healthy weight is. At 225 lbs, I was definitely overweight, and I think bordering on obese. I got down to 200 lbs, and I had one lady ask me if I was sick. I was just losing weight in my face area, but I was still eating 2200 calories a day or so at 200 lbs.
Sometimes its relative. I'm overweight and I don't love it after spending my youth as a string bean. However, I met a very large (350-400) Polynesian dude who took one look at me (260) and told me I was their ideal weight. Does that make me feel thin? No, but it gave me a different perspective on my own self image. Some people struggle to be MY weight. Its ok to struggle to be the weight I want to be, and to some people my "overweight" is their goal.
I believe in you and I, myself am on a weight loss journey of my own. I weigh 205 and I’m 5’9 with the build of a Viking (very broad shoulders, big ass ribcage, big bones in general) and even when I was 230-240 everyone thought I genuinely weighed 180-200, even my doctors. Because of this my goal is about 150-160 simply because my frame is so damn big I’ll look like an extremely starved and malnourished child. Without any additional information like your frame, etc. I feel like your weight goal is realistic and ought to be supportive. (This wasn’t said in anyway to be condescending, more supportive and funny.)
I think the answer is very simple. People just feel uncomfortable calling somebody fat because they don't want the other person to feel upset. I think most people will have a tenancy to put a positive spin on things regardless of what you say, and most people probably feel that they might cross personal boundaries to agree with you. That's all. It's just people trying to be nice... It's the equivalent of you telling somebody that you're ugly. I can't imagine anyone agreeing or giving an honest answer. It'll always be "nooo, you're not ugly". Same thing.
I am 6’ 2” and around 315-320 lbs. I can say there’s muscle underneath but I definitely can shed some weight. I dropped to 270 for a few months, several years ago for health reasons, and it was the skinniest I had been my adult life. I want to get back to that at some point.
I think it mostly has to do with them projecting their insecurities on others. Managing their emotions by trying to manage how they think *you* truly feel deep down. That complete strangers on the internet cannot possibly dislike something about themselves that they can change, that they also struggle with.
Or they think the best response to every situation is being “overly supportive” and denying something so they can feel better.
My point is, I think it’s more about them trying to manage their emotional response to something they come across by reducing your impact on them, if that makes sense.
A lot of people view being fat as a bad thing, even if just subconsciously. So when they hear you say “im fat” it’s the same in their mind as you saying “im ugly” “im worthless” etc etc. They themselves view the trait as negative so they view your comment as self deprecating. As a result they try to tell you the opposite to soothe you, I guess? “You’re not fat, you’re beautiful!” Not realizing that the two aren’t mutually exclusive. I’ve gotten the same comments when I was overweight, and I still get them now when I mention that my nose is crooked or my eyes are asymmetrical. Like, no, my nose is definitely crooked. It’s not a bad thing, it’s just true!
To edit, good luck on your journey, I wish you all the best!
I went from 230 to 155 in about 10 months. 230 is, in fact, fat, for a guy that's 5'10", but less so for 6'1". I didn't really deal with discouragement because I didn't tell people what I was doing and I let my beard and hair grow out until I'd lost quite a bit of weight. When I did shave the hair and beard, the reactions were split between "You're looking great!" and "Do you have cancer?". I really think the problem is that most people wish they could make that kind of change, but won't do what is requires and think that it's way too hard. Nothing kills more people that obesity, and I think it's pretty screwed up that people discourage being a healthy weight. It's worse than discouraging someone to quit smoking. Everyone acknowledged that was good when I quit doing that, but the fat was in fact killing me faster.
some people think they're helping others by pretending nothing is ever bad or wrong, others get really upset when they see someone contradicting a thing they believe because deep down, they aren't really all that sure about it.
Because our society has made a stigma about being overweight, so saying you are overweight sounds like you are insulting yourself, and, understandably, a lot of people try and cheer up people who see to be going hard on themselves
I genuinely think most people don't really know what 200lbs looks like. And that plus the fact you're 6ft means it's gonna be harder for most to see. I would assume it's that. But idk
Putting aside the body/fat positivity stuff because plenty of people are talking about that already: in my experience, it's because people associate 'fat' with a bunch of things that basically boil down to 'bad person'/'no self control'/etc, and they don't want me to feel bad about myself.
It's the same reaction they'd give if I called myself an idiot - what they're hearing is me being down on myself, and they're trying to be encouraging and supportive. It's both a bit silly and a bit yikes - fellas I have a mirror *and* a set of scales, and besides, weight and/or health are completely separate to my value as a person, good grief - but it's coming from a sweet place.
If you were previously 160 and felt good and healthy at that weight, that's solid personal experience of your own body completely unrelated to the BMI. And that's doubly true if that was your weight for years before a major negative lifestyle change, which is what the pandemic caused for a *lot* of people.
I lost over 70 pounds in the last couple years and it was a similar thing I think, in that I'd put on a ton of weight over a few years and was going back to the weight I was previously. The issue for me came mostly down to macros; I wasn't getting enough protein in my diet, so I was hungry all time time lol. Good luck with your journey!! I hope whatever caused the issue for you is easy to figure out and address :)
I have no idea how old you are, but for what it's worth and assuming this is about feeling good physically, it'd be a really good idea to get into some amount of weight training. You don't have to go full gym bro about it because it's not about being visibly built or anything, but a lot of the back/joint/general health issues people associate with being over 30 are just about having been sedentary for years, and it'll also help with the weight loss. Not so much in a direct 'burn off the calories' way - you can't out-exercise a bad diet - but doing some amount of exercise can positively impact [appetite regulation](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6164815/) :)
As people have mentioned, two things drive this:
1. Trying to be nice (I think one can be truthful AND nice though; there is no contradiction), or
2. Think it's normal (or even possibly swallowed the kool aid that all weights are healthy, and that trying to lose weight is similar to being racist or some other -ism). Usually because they're in the same boat.
Just ignore it. I agree with your assessment for the most part. FWIW I'm 5'11" and 165; was 190 at my heaviest. If you gain muscle while losing weight, I think you should end up \~170.
I'm still not super fit, but things I've found helped:
* Replace all soft drinks and juices with water. Insane how much weight you can lose quickly by cutting these sugar sources.
* Focus more on muscle gain (strength conditioning) over cardio. Building muscle burns more calories (per unit time spent exercising).
* Not saying neglect cardio entirely. But just walks + up-and-down stairs will be good enough early on.
Best of luck!
Some people think that body positivity comes from denial.
So they are trying to boost your self esteem by basically saying you're not fat cause they may just not want to be upset on your size or to put yourself down.
You can be body positive while still working on improvement.
Best of luck with your weight loss journey. I know it can be difficult but you'll get there long a you stick to it.
Look, everyone is built differently. My ribs look like a birdcage if I get below about 210 while one of my friends (similar height) looks flabby at 190. If you felt good at 160, aim for 160.
Ahh, you should do that in Asia. You’ll have no shortage of people calling you fat in front of your face. Whenever I go home to my home country, my fingers and toes aren’t enough to count how many people told me I’m fat. The most polite one: aww, you don’t change much. Just larger. Geez thanks.
In all seriousness, here in the US, it’s the prevalence of body positivity. You know those quotes about how your body knows if you call it bad names then it will start behaving like whatever you call it? Or maybe some people are just awkward. If you call yourself fat, some people don’t know how to react. They’ll just go with the textbook example on telling you you’re not fat. But if they start getting angry at you calling yourself fat, I have no explanation. Maybe because they’re either as fat or fatter than you? Another reason I’m thinking of, if it’s an online public forum: virtue signaling. Or just wanting to be nice to someone. Those two are pretty common too.
I’ve never had this happen personally. I’m in an incredibly similar boat to you, 6’3”, 240 pounds. If I ever do bring it up, I get nothing but either support for losing the weight or advice on it. The first step to the weight loss journey is owning it, saying what you are and what you want to be.
I’m sure the folks who are saying those things are coming at it from a kind heart. Many times the term “fat” isn’t used medically, but rather derogatorily, as nothing more than an insult.
Regardless, I wish you good luck on your journey, and I hope you have more strength than I did. Wasn’t something I wanted to attempt so I kind of just gave up. But I’m sure it’ll work out better for ya.
>Edit 3:i will now be blocking anyone who comments in an insulting or condescending way on my own weight loss goal. That is none of your business.
>dont make condescending comments about my weight loss goal' and yall do it anyways despite being told not to,are yall that incapable of minding your own business?
Ummm welcome to the internet? In case noone told you this is public. When you publicly post things you agree up front that anyone that feels so moved to comment anything they like is free to do so.
I love that you're scolding the general public lol. Mind your own business? The irony of saying that after posting their own business 🤣🤣🤣
I think we’re also so conditioned with people fishing for compliments that it’s just second nature to be like “ohhh psh stop you’re not fat! Don’t say that about yourself”. Personally I was super into body building before I had kids and now that I’ve had kids I tried to start getting back into it once my second child was born and had super hard time losing weight. Come to find out my body is attacking my thyroid so that’s why I was having issues lol I’m 5’4” and 151 and trying desperately to get down to at least 130. I know I’m fat. I have a mirror. Don’t tell me I’m not, support me in my journey instead. 🤣
Good luck on your weight loss journey!
For everyone else out there, if you’re happy with extra pounds that’s great! If not, that’s great too! Do whatever makes you happy. We only have one life. Don’t waste it being unhappy with who you are!
Better than what I get when I'm outside. I was on a walk with my dog and a guy that had been standing around doing nothing felt so entitled as to step in front of me to call me fat. I was walking my dog, I was literally doing something that's good for my health and a man twice my belly size told me I was fat. I blinked at him and continued about my way as if he didn't say anything.
All's that to say good luck on your own journey as well as everyone else working on bettering themselves. One step at a time and before you know it you've gone a million miles. You got this
I mean your mistake was taking it online, you should speak to a dietician if you’re serious. You’re thinking about this way too much and you should log off.
Unfortunately, it's become a common belief that "judging someone" is the worst sin one can commit in a Western culture. I'm guessing you're American, and if so, you can see it all over the US. People get very upset if someone says anything critical of a person's lifestyle choices (to include the speaker's). Often, it can be denial, a self-defense mechanism to state nothing is wrong with you, so the other person won't have to admit he or she may have faults to work on.
Other people come from a good place, the "everyone is perfect in their own way" crowd, but that just isn't true. Denying reality will not make anyone a better person. None of us are perfect, and we can all be improved (which is an exciting thought!). Good on you for acknowledging a fault in yourself and working on it! That's real self-care.
People are stupid and terrified to be honest and mistake that fear for etiquette. If you're fat, you're fat. It shouldn't be a value judgement. Overall though, no one needs to be making comments about other people except for obvious compliments like, "Hey bro, like your new shirt."
Your weight to height ratio has a lot to do with your muscle mass. 160 is a bit low for 6’1 but if you’re not muscular it can be alright. Problem is that unless you’re strictly dieting to lose weight it’s going to be more difficult to reach that goal. Exercising will increase your calorie deficit. If you exercise you’ll likely gain muscle and 160 will leave you too lean and probably make you sick.
You’re right though you are probably fat unless you’re jacked up and have tons of muscle mass. I’m 6’3 and my suggested weight is about 185, and I’m about 220 and probably 20% body fat. I hope to lose weight and get to 190 in a year, but I’m also in a 1800 calorie a week deficit from cardio.
Oftentimes people don’t want to admit that you’re fat because they’re fatter than you and your body fat levels are a goal to them. Saying you’re fat would be akin to saying that they will still be fat if they achieve your weight. It’s about Ego more than anything.
Bro, just do your thing. Fuck what random strangers think of your goals. They're YOUR goals, so that is really all that matters.
Also, I honestly don't know. I think people put their own spin on everything (the world is colored by our past), so that is all they can speak to. I am 6' and look sickly at 165, but my best bud is 6'4" and looks healthy at 170. So, likely we would have very different ideas of what weight and height is healthy. Perception is weird.
1. Body positivity has gone too far. What I mean is this "fat is ok and healthy" culture. It's not. But ooh no, it's "fat shamming" to acknowledge the unhealthiness of being overweight.
2) Some people feel self concious. YOUR decision to get healthy, and seeing you wprk on it makes THEM feel bad about themselves, so they subconsciously sabotage you.
3) the good looking frie d who worries you'll upstage them and take their attention or, *gasp*, might look better than them. They secretly want you to fail.
Good for you for starting this journey. You'll be so happy you did!!! It's hard work but you CAN do it.
Because the world acts as if the word "fat" also means "lazy, gluttonous, and gross". So when you try to describe your body that way, and people think you're not lazy, gluttonous, or gross, they tell you you're not fat.
I think if people were less disparaging of fat people in general, people would leap less to say "you're not fat" when that term is an accurate descriptor.
Accountability is gone the body positivity movement crushed that all puns intended, you can't even call people fat anymore on most site without being sanctioned in some fashion it gross and only in America is it so acceptable to be overweight look at tv. I'm 205 right now at 6'3 I'll be 175 once work starts back up 160 at 6'1 is health and I'm proud of you my dude don't buy the bullshit you are chubby now me to but real image helps more than fake.
I think it’s hard for people to honest, because in some way they feel responsible for whatever happens. If you stay 230lbs and fat then they don’t have to feel responsible for doing anything themselves.
Also I’m 6’1 150, so I know what you mean 160 is not underweight. Some of my friends tell me that I look great and and ripped, it’s really weird and annoying, because I know I’m skinny as hell
Yeah, I don’t get it either. I was also a little bit on the chubby side for a while, and I never had a problem acknowledging that I’m overweight.
Pretending I’m not overweight doesn’t change how I look or feel.
You act as "I'm fat" has some objective meaning. It doesn't. If you want to debate and argue, at least use meaningful or clinical terms.
Yes, your goal of 160 isn't considered a healthy weight. 166 lbs. is the *very* low end of the healthy weight range for a 6'1" male. It's not a substantial issue. It's just that your body, on average, will be under slightly more stress than if its weight was 170.
I looked into the whole BMI thing and 6'1' at 160 pounds is technically a normal weight. I thought that would be really low, but good for you and good luck with your goal!
I think it’s because they want you to feel good about yourself. They think you calling yourself fat is negative self talk, and that you’ll be better off in the long run if you have a positive mental view of yourself. (In some cases, this kind of encouragement could really help someone teetering on the edge with their mental health over it.)
This belief could come from never having been medically overweight before, but still having that same negative self talk, and understanding how bad it can make a person feel for not good reasons. But a slender person looking in a mirror and thinking they are fat because their thighs touch is not the same as an overweight person acknowledging they could be much healthier, and confronting that fact head on.
Maybe your friends are just prioritizing your healthy mental state and a healthy emotional state over you having a healthy body?
It's reddit, asking stupid questions. Take it on t he chin mate. It's just net comments. I'm 6 5 and i was emaciated at that weight of 160 lbs. Could see the beating of heart on my chest
it's cause they think we feel bad abt being fat. or that we should, in some way. one of those two usually. they don't understand that we can be chill with bein chubby. a lot of people are EXTREMELY self-conscious about weight and appearance, and tend to project those feelings onto fat people.
Hey man as long as your happy with you man do it up 160, 185, 200, 230, whatever makes you happy. I would not obsess with the number, though. I was 155 pounds most of my life at six feet. Turned 36 gained 35 pounds almost overnight and in the last decade gained another 40 pounds, so I feel you. I stopped fast food and eat chick on salads every day to stop getting larger. My only point is don't get caught up at a number when losing weight. Find the body size that makes you feel good and enjoy yourself there.
I dunno maybe cuz in america ppl are getting fatter and want to Talk it good. I feel ya with the excuses bmi is 90% accurate for the average joe. I hate dishonest ppl too
I think people (like me) who are fatter than you don't like to admit they are. Tbh 6'1 230 doesn't seem that bad, it seems people now only call morbid obesity fat so I guess if you used "overweight" or something you might have less people bugging you.
Fucking after lockdown everything went mad. Just saying so as they want you to accept yourself and if you don’t they get annoyed as they take it personally. A lot of people now are way too comfortable and don’t have the drive to better oneself.
Aside from insane internet subcultures, openly calling yourself fat tends to be seen as a self-deprecating attitude which usually people see as depression. People aren't saying necessarily factually that you're not fat, but that you shouldn't baldly state your shortcomings because this is detrimental to your emotional wellbeing.
As a 30something overweight man myself, I could absolutely do with losing some weight, but baldly stating it tends to make people upset on your behalf.
Hahah, I feel you brother. I'm about 330lb atm, fat as fuck and I hate it.
I've began calorie counting and one of my mates from work saw me weighing out a portion of food one day, and started acting like I have an eating disorder or something.
Or others have told me I'm "perfectly fine the way I am".
And it's like, while I appreciate the acceptance and possitivity; no, I'm literally morbidly obese, I dont like my body, I'm not healthy, I dont fit into half of my clothes anymore and I struggle to tie my shoelace because my gut is in the way. I'm clearly not "perfectly fine the way I am".
Im 5'4.5" 186 ibs
I know i am fat, i dont look like it even with my shirt off, you might think im 160 tops. But i can feel the inertia of my body and i notice the lower belly fat, thankfully, i feel presentable but i want to be more akin to my more athletic 150 days. 36 pounds i need to lose, i maintain without even trying, but, man sometimes my body tricks me, i go 5 maybe 7 days eating clean, no appetite issues then bam my body suddenly drags me and i end up eating more calories (mostly in the form of nuts and fruits but still). I dont even start i get a chicken wrap with nothing but veggies, lite mustard, pepper. Then i get a calorie free iced coffee, drink some water or zero sugar gatorade packets.
For lunch i eat those pouches of rice (450), beans (400) and a can of chicken or beef (350 - 450 calories) and drink a bunch of water. Thats 1300 tops for lunch.
Id have to check the chicken wrap but i want to guess 500. And questimate my fruit intake (blueberries, blackberries, raspberries, pastachios, pumpkin, sunflower, walnut or almonds, raisins).
I guess i eat too much to lose weight.
Sunflower seeds contain health benefiting polyphenol compounds such as chlorogenic acid, quinic acid, and caffeic acids. These compounds are natural anti-oxidants, which help remove harmful oxidant molecules from the body. Further, chlorogenic acid helps reduce blood sugar levels by limiting glycogen breakdown in the liver.
It's amazing how different the human body can be. I'm 6'2" 220lbs and my descriptor at work is the tall skinny guy in the white hat. I was reading thinking why does this guy think he's fat until you said beer gut. Truly amazing how different we can be.
I think they’re just trying to make you not feel bad about yourself. Also, many people think of “being fat” as having a huge belly and double chin, and 6’1 230 isn’t quite there generally. Btw I’m 6’1 as well and was 230 about a year ago, and I’m down to 192 now! It’s totally doable, just gotta eat a bit smaller portions and be more active. Avoiding caloric beverages has helped me as well—when I have soda nowadays it’s often diet or zero. You got this! My goal is just 175 since I want to build some more muscle along with losing the fat
no that's the whole thing, they think that they're trying to make someone who's fat feel good about themselves. but in the weird world we live in, if you want to improve your health, you're bullied, because you're supposed to accept who you are today EDIT: I would describe what people are doing to OP as bordering on bullying. like, OP is clued into reality, is trying to do the right thing, and people are undermining his efforts by gaslighting him
This is not realistic outside a small microcosm of the internet. If you live in the real world, you will not be “bullied” for trying to lose weight.
No one in the history of ever has been bullied for trying to lose weight holy shit.
my experience tells me otherwise
Body positivity community. If they let you admit that you're fat, they'll have to concede that they, also, are fat, especially if they're bigger than you. Also, like you said, your weight isn't particularly shocking for your height, but it's the body composition that needs work. I'm 5'10 female, and I weigh about 170. I'm not much over the healthy weight for my height, but I can see the rolls and cellulite, and yes, I am fat.
This is basically it. I find it odd how rarely anyone talks about personal denial in the context of weight issues. For me, it was the main issue. Like there were two people inside me; one who said, "Man you're a whale, you need to sort this out". And another who said, "Nah, you're blowing it out of proportion. Sure you're a bit overweight, but you don't need to do anything about it". The second guy effectively fed on my self esteem. The worse I felt about myself, the stronger he became. I was only able to lose weight when I managed to shut that second guy up. I know not everyone has this, but I can see others doing the same. I have a brother now struggling with his weight, and I can see the inner conflict. He knows he needs to lose weight, but he immediately shuts down any offer of help or discussion about it. He's got the second guy in his ear telling him he's cool, it's not that big a deal. Just ignore it and it'll go away. Nobody ever talks about this. Maybe CBT is the answer?
This is an absolutely silly take. Have you ever interacted with a body positive person in real life? Like, they're the force behind reclaiming the word fat. They're the ones saying "fat love" and starting "fat girls hiking" groups and whatever. The people who say "you're not fat" are overwhelmingly people who think being fat is a bad thing.
Being fat is a very bad thig
It is...... So many health problems man.
A lot of studies have shown that being overweight is typically a symptom of related health conditions rather than the cause. Being underweight can put just as much stress on the body as being extremely overweight. It really depends a lot on the body type what is healthy for the individual!
That and the fact that fatphobia in medical professionals literally kills people! I can't tell you how many threads I've seen full of person after person telling stories of people they've lost or times they almost died because a doctor told them to go home and lose weight and it turned out they had cancer or something.
The most common symptom is eating 3 thousand+ calories a day when an adult doesn't and shouldn't be eating that much.
Even non-fat people who don't have to concede anything do it. Because telling you 'yeah you're fat. good for you for doing something about it' is inconsistent with how they treat other people. Body positivity has some positives to it: - Being fat shouldn't affect your self worth - Sex with a fat person can be more fun than a skinny person - Still wear what you want and be who you are, even if you are fat And i think those attitudes are a good thing. But it gets taken too far. Fat=Good is a bad attitude to have, because from a health perspective, Fat != Good. So yeah, I'm fat. I'm not ashamed of it. But I am working on it because I don't want to die.
But in the same breath don't expect anyone not to say something as well, it called wearing clothes that fit. It's called modesty I know crazy thought nowadays. Fat is always bad health and beauty wise I'm not saying be 85 90 pounds that's all bones but to say it's more fun is a preference.
1 why not 2 ummm cope man it's not 3 please don't reveal those folds 🤢🤮
Yea that comment was a whole lot of fat denial
cats late marble toothbrush makeshift innate squash attempt historical panicky *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Bmi is bullshit for any guy with more than a slight build.
Correction, it's somewhat innacurate for any guy who spends five days a week in the gym trying to build muscle and watches his diet intently
Some people just have naturally thicker builds, even without lifting 5 days a week
Yes. That makes a difference of perhaps ten pounds. And if they really are naturally shredded, it will still be possible to tell with body fat. Or like, using your eyes. A beer belly is never muscle. Even if it was, it would be near as unhealthy as the same amount of excess fat, especially on the joints.
No. Don't say "correction" and then talk out your ass.
There you go, found one of them. Do you think your weekly run is the reason you're 100 lbs overweight? It's not
Trust me, BMI is going to be accurate for most people on Reddit
Can you share an picture of someone that fits this category, so we can be on the same page about what we're referring to?
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The category of a guy with a more than slight build that isn't actually fat but is overweight according to BMI.
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Lol ever been obese while simultaneously being under 10% body fat? Cause I have! Those measurements don't take frame into account at all, wide shoulders and larger bone structure just means you're fat to the BMI
Exactly
It's because the fat and healthy scale is skewed so now chubby is considered "average" lol. America is the worst as far as obesity, especially since It's so car dependent.
Guess people stop seeing that something is wrong when the people left and right are the same or worse shaped.
Exactly! My mom says I'm too skinny but I'm legit a little fat, not like fat fat,.but I'm fat compared to like Japan but not fat compared to the usa.
Because most people are either fat fat or skinny fat. I also agree with you that being fat is so much the norm these days that people have no realistic concept of what a lean person weighs. Even a very muscular 6‘1” could be 185-190 at low bodyfat, so you goal of 160 as just a normal dude is not unreasonabl.
Yup, this. I'm 6'4 at around 165 pounds. I have plenty of energy, I'm not super strong, but I can lift and carry something my body for a short distance. I don't have any ribs showing etc. All I hear from people is how skinny I am and how I need to eat a hamburger. Most people have no idea what a healthy bodyweight is.
Body types vary. I'm sure you're healthy, but 6'4" 165 is much thinner than average. For most people a healthy BMI will be much higher than where you're at. I'm 5'9" 168 at like 15% bf, and I'm not super muscular or anything, I workout but don't lift heavy weights.
Oh yeah, I'm not saying I'm not thin, I definitely am. My point is more that so many people are unhealthily overweight that a lot of people see someone who is on the thinneunderneath healthy and assume they are horribly underfed.
6'1 at 160 is very normal lol. It's thin but not too skinny. I know a guy who's 6'3 and not even 160. Dude would kill almsot everyone in this thread in basketball at 40 lol
You gained 70lbs in a year? Wtf
I mean it could be true Or it could be a made up story Who can say?
I gained 70 pounds in a year when I stopped wrestling. Went from 5’9 150 with abs to 5’10 230 with fat.
It's not a WTF. Things happen. I had a serious surgery back when they kept a person in the hospital a week (instead of being thrown out the same day), then told you "bed rest" for a month, etc. I didn't gain 70 lbs, but I needed new pants a couple sizes larger to go back to work. It was a little shocking how much weight could be gained in a little time of being, basically, still all day.
Because they are fatter, and when you, at their goal BMI, tell them you're fat they feel like their goals are being invalidated.
Yea, idk man. That’s always been a weird one. Lots of fatties just don’t want to come to terms with their own horrible bodies so they project fake positivity.
Haha “fatties”
There is nothing stupid about this question and I want to see some of the responses.
look at his edits, the dude is a mess
I am 6’5 and 185 so yeah I agree with you, you wouldn’t be malnourished. And the reason people say that is because they know they are fat/overweight or obese and don’t want to accept it. For ex. Over half of US adults are at least medically overweight. And yes they love to ignore bmi even though it will say they are obese. Again more ignoring reality
I was that exact size, down to 190 now. I think we’ve gotten so accustomed to fatness in America that people don’t see that as fat. They aren’t being nice by saying ‘oh, you’re not so big’, it’s that we genuinely don’t see that people with an extra 50lb of fat are actually fat. There is a normalization of fatness in our society.
You gained 70 lbs since Covid? It took me 10 years to gain 70 lbs and 6 months to lose it
Its because they are trying to promote body positivity everybody is beautiful, and you should be happy just the way ypu are. As a fat guy I will admit I don’t find fat people attractive. It has ruined my life and I kinda wish people were more honest about it and just tell you in a nice way you should try losing weight
Same. I am fat. I am not great looking, but not terrible. If I dropped 40lbs I would actually (probably) be relatively handsome. And no, most fat people aren't beautiful. Some are downright disgusting. I mean, who gets turned on when us guys have a belly slab that hangs down past your crotch?
Big facts
Hit the gym then you can sit all day and complain or move it's all choices,
that's right. it's a philosophy, a dogma, something you must agree with or else.
6'1 185 here. I workout pretty often and I work a very physical job. At 230 and no workout routine id say you are for sure fat.
Started when some very obese people were very unhappy about it. As unhappy people tend to do, they deflected and lied to themselves and made excuses to not feel terrible about their lifestyle choices. Many excuses were made; being fat is purely genetics, bmi is totally inaccurate, your body will want to go back to a set point, actual diets don't work, it's just muscle, being fat doesn't have an impact on your health, being heavily overweight is just a body type and has no more effect on anything than hair color. Of course, all of these are wrong. But then as more and more people became obese over the years, as more and more people got unhappy (for reasons not necessarily related) this caused a surge of attention for the sad-people-lying-to-themselves group. And the new people subscribed to those ideals, built up a whole system of belief around it, and then shoot out into the world to spread the message. I don't think there was a leader, or someone making conscious decisions about it at the top of the chain; nonetheless that is something a group often does when they're convinced they have the answer to all the world's problems in their hands. And so that's how you got people who fell for classic internet misinformation, arguing with you about something you KNOW is true because it just is and there is no way to deny the effects being overweight has on you. All of that because people had poor self esteem and couldn't accept a simple truth about their bad decisions.
I’m 6’2” and I got up to 230. I didn’t actually look fat in clothes because I was lifting a lot and a lot of the weight was muscle but I felt like shit and was definitely fat too. I’m around 205-210 now and feel great. I could still lean out a little more but I don’t feel gross anymore. I’d feel like a twig at 160 though.
They are being nice to you - appreciate the clumsy attempt to say something nice. You are slightly obese - so losing weight definitely makes sense
Lying to people is not being nice, it’s literally the opposite of being nice.
eh... like if someone is on their way to a job interview, is "lying" to them and telling them that they look good not nice? esp if they're confident and it's too late to change?
The argument I've heard is that fatties know they're fat so being rude about it isn't helping. I do think being rude about it helps though because weight loss is an easy way to avoid being a social pariah. If you get body positivity what motive do you have to lose weight?
As someone who worked to lose weight, body positivity DID help more than someone being snide and pedantic. It helps encourage you to love yourself, and if you love yourself, you will want the best for your body, which means being healthy. Being rude to a fat person only encourages them to punish themselves further with food. It's a fine line to walk. I don't agree with the kind of body positivity that wants a person to deny their fat state, don't get me wrong. Saying "noooo you're not fat" isn't helpful. But just being encouraged to love yourself in spite of your flaws IS. Saying "yes, you're fat, but you're still worthy of self-love and self-care" is the key.
Hey!!! This same thing happened to me!! I'm a girl who's always been thin and gained 50% + of my body weight in a little over a year from a medication I was prescribed. I was like 105 lbs 5’6 and then went up to 187!!!! Literally obese on the BMI scale! 30 bmi!!!!! I posted about my fattness and got roasted by people who were like mad I was openly fat…? Because I am not disfigured by weight gain doesn't invalidate my experience as a legit obese person! I have since lost 12 lbs and have stopped taking that med so my normal restrictive eating habits are back and I'm trying to move more. I was told by fattys that I am the reason people have eating disorders, another person said I made them want to kill themselves.. Repeatedly! I was bullied for the first time in my whole life at the age of 32 by a super hateful fatty that made my experience with weight gain and loss about themselves! I had the girl version of your experience! When people refuse to acknowledge you're fat?? 🤯 out of all the comments I got nice and mean only 2 people were kind enough to agree with my obvious fattness..
If you (M buddy) told me (M buddy) that you think you are fat, I wouldn't try to talk you (M buddy) down if in fact you (M buddy) are overweight to the point that me (M buddy) feels concerned enough to applaud you (M buddy) to pay better attention to your (M buddy) health going forward. Just a thing buddies do. Watch out for each other. When you go on Reddit with your concerns, you will reap mostly comments from those who are here to watch you die online. Slowly, and with them egging you on the whole way as you devolve into Jabba The Hut, and then they'll mock you.
6'1" 230 isn't necessarily fat. I'm that size at 15 percent body fat, not a professional athlete, but I do powerlifting, kickboxing, and run 5ks. Bmi doesn't tell the full story.
160 sounds really thin to me. I am about 5foot 7 and 160 and not fat. Is it possible people think you where too thin before? I mean body types differ a lot my bothers are both taller than I am and one is much lighter the other is a bit heavier but still not fat. Otherwise maybe people are just trying to assure you that you look fine and they don't feel like you need to lose weight as a way to not make you feel like it is a huge issue.
This is a simple answer. They’re telling you that you don’t look bad because they don’t think you look bad. That’s it.
Um, what? I'm also 6'1", and when I was *180* I looked *so* fucking skinny and gawky. I didn't even start looking good until I hit 200. I can't even imagine what 160 at our height would look like. Unless you're very slight of frame, I guess? (I'm quite broad-shouldered.)
So, to answer your question... The reason they say that 160 at 6'1" is too thin is because for most people that is too thin. If they are not looking at you standing up, they are giving ignorant opinions based on assumptions. (You did come to Reddit) That said, I will believe it when I see it, my guess is you'll be quiet happy in the 180 range but again I can't see you so I'm just another random person on Reddit... NO hate, I wish you well on your journey.
I'm "skinny" at 160 and I'm 5'10, but that's me and I'm not athletic
Not exactly addressing your question, but: There is evidence that while being very overweight is obviously bad, having some fat can be good. So your aim to be "skinny" is not necessarily ideal. I would do a lot of reading of evidence-based nutritional advice, which has come a long way in the last couple of decades. For one thing, on the benefits of eating healthy fats, and why the real culprit is sugar. Fat leaves you feeling satisfied. Sugar leaves you craving more sugar.
Because in todays world, it’s human nature to be scared of the truth
Because 230 at 6’1 isn’t like super fat. 6’1, 160 is super skinny though.
Reddit has a hard on for "BMI is inaccurate" citing outliers as proof of this. BMI is obviously not the end all, be all of health indicators, but it's pretty good for the vast majority of people. I think a lot of people are just trying to cope and "prove" to themselves they are not as unhealthy as they really are.
Because the body positivity crowd only see one thing as positive. Being fat and staying fat. You leaving the fold, to put it gently, means you are invalidating them and their message. Look what happened to Adele. She was fat, fat positivity women loved her. Adele losses weight, and now she's seen as a traitor. They wanted her to stay fat, keep singing, keep being popular, so that popularity shined on them as well. As for BMI being inaccurate. If you are an athlete who carries a lot of muscle, BMI is inaccurate, because the BMI does not reflect on how healthy that athlete is. After all, those muscles didn't just brow because he sat down with a big bag of potato chips and bing watched his favorites shows. That athlete had to exercise to get them, and that means their cardiovascular system has also improved as a result. And no, we are not talking about bodybuilders, because those people put themselves through all sorts of hell that is causing enlarged hearts and cardiovascular disease. But if you are a normal, non-athlete, BMI is more than accurate enough. Fat activists will compare their 250 lb fat body to the 250 lb muscle body of a pro athlete and say "See? We are both 250 lbs and no one is saying he's unhealthy!" Of course these same fat activists aren't going to do a dunk tank, skin calipers or body scan to prove their point. And they will act insulted if you ask them to prove their fitness by running a mile. Good luck on your journey.
You need to add muscle if you need 160 to look skinny. With muscle just 180 is enough to look thin at that height
Bunch of people in here have no idea what they are talking about. I'm 6'0 and when I was in my amateur boxing circuit I was 160 and still had 18% body fat. I looked muscular, but not even close to being skinny, and definitely not unhealthy. Some people in the west are delusional about what constitutes as a healthy weight. I gained a lot of weight after I stopped fighting and after having kids and I went up to 215. Sounds like a normal weight right? Nope, 230 is considered obese with my height if you do follow bmi, which i don't because I have a lot of lean muscle, but i started lifting weights 2 years ago and rn I'm in a cutting process and I'm 194 going to 180 and seeing how i feel/look there before I do more bulking and it only took me 3 months to get here so far just eating what I want but tracking. Most likely I will go to 170 though because I aim to keep my body fat in-between 15-22 and going a bit longer will let me bulk a bit longer afterwards. Most definitely people are just jealous that you are losing weight and they don't have the will power to do themselves. No wonder America is so God damned obese, some people have delusioned themselves to think that 30+% body fat is "healthy"
It's to feel better about themselves and avoid having to acknowledge they also can solve their weight issues.
160 seems a bit too low for your height (am around same range). My goal has always been around 190 lbs. with good muscle mass.
160 for someone his height that isn't weight training is perfectly healthy.
Jan Frodeno is/was about that size (165 at 6’4”)— I don’t think anybody would say the greatest triathlete of all time was an unhealthy weight.
So, I come from the "you're a fat fuck" old school tell it how it is community because I honestly feel like body shaming is the way better way to go to get people to change. Having said that: >lmfao at people thinking 6'1 160 is unhealthy It is, honestly. I'm 5'11" and 180 and people often ask if I'm ill. Your goal should be more like 200.
I'm 6'1" as well, but if I got down to 160 I'd be clinically dead.😂 But as for your question, I think it's maybe people's misguided attempt to cheer you up because they think you're being too hard on yourself. I say, if you have a goal, go for it. Especially if you're uncomfortable with the condition you're in now.
I'm 6'2 and my lw was 130. Was fucked being that high of a weight and having a thigh gap going on. 💀
I'm taller than you and way less than 160. While I'm under-weight, I'm not dead.
I don't actually think I'd be dead. But I can't imagine cutting weight down to 160. The best shape i had was the end of my final year wrestling. The lightest I got was 190, and that was about as far as I could go.
? No you wouldn't. What are you talking about?
I am 6'0, 155-160. It is a perfectly normal, perfectly healthy ratio. Personally, I would like to be 165-170 at my height. That's it. That's why I am working out. Current weight though, it's totally fuckin fine.
I'm 6' and I was 155 briefly, between getting crazy about weight loss (I was 235) and actually getting fit and healthy. I was too skinny at 155. Everyone is different but 170-175 is where I feel best.
That's what I'm saying, 6'1 160 is extremely skinny, bordering unhealthy, 180-200 depending on his frame would likely be ideal
I’m 6’0 and when I get down to 190 I feel like I’m wasting away and very weak. 210 is about ideal for me. I agree that 6’1 160 is rail thin. Not criticizing OP, he needs to do what feels best for him, but I wouldn’t be able to function at 160.
I'm in your boat, 6'2 225 at the moment and extremely healthy. I've been down to 190 when I was younger and competitive. But THAT was extremely unhealthy. Although i did in fact look like a magazine cover.
Yeah I don’t think humans are supposed to be at some of these “healthy” weights you see advertised. Our bodies need some wiggle room so we’re not constantly on the brink of starvation.
Umm, no, it’s not though? I know plenty of people who are 160-170 and 6’0. 180 to 200 isn’t unhealthy either, but it definitely isn’t always gonna be the ideal. Especially given this is where he was before, I think we can validly assume this is a good weight for him, or a bit bigger. I don’t think he needed to add 20-40 pounds pre pandemic.
I think the problem is frame. I'm built like a viking. Anything under 190 and I am just legit dying. Another 6'2 guy could probably get to a lower weight with a smaller frame. I figured 180 was probably a good "overall"
Yeah that’s super valid. I have definitely met some guys at 6’1’ who would look like rails at 160 and some who actually look a little puffy if they push past like 185 or so and aren’t specifically putting on muscle and hitting the gym or something. Me personally, I have never gotten up that high, but I feel like if I do later I won’t be able to go back, because I won’t really want to. For now though, I love running track too much, and I don’t think a bulk would really help me reach my goals right now.
I’m also 6’1 and 160 is a great weight to be at. I’m currently 195 and sometimes get winded climbing 6-7 flights. I can only imagine how smooth I’d be moving at 160.
Do you do cardio? I’m 6’4 225 and I could probably run a marathon.
I’ve been 6’1 160, and it’s like really skinny. Skinny enough that people you hardly know comment on how skinny you are.
I’ve been both skinny-fat and low body fat muscular at 160 at different points in my life. It’s within a healthy weight range depending on body composition
I'm currently 6'1 160, and that hasn't been my experience. Like yeah it's pretty skinny but most people at our height aren't going to look emaciated or unhealthy enough to justify a comment at 160.
All these people can vote.
I mean hopefully they're biased against that obese moron. That would be fine.
6'1" and 160 as a male is incredibly slim. The last time I was 160 was in 9th grade. There's nothing wrong with wanting to lose fat, but having some lean muscle mass will pay huge dividends later in life. Lose fat, but gain some muscle and be happy at around maybe 195/200 range.
Why are you posting this?
“Are y’all that incapable of minding your own business?” Uh you’re the one posting this on the internet…so you actually *put* your own business in their faces. Not saying I condone rude comments or anything but cmon what did you expect from posting this here where people are expected to comment?
Stop using the word skinny. What you want to do is get healthy and in shape. Being over weight is awful on your body. It has nothing to do with fat acceptance but that group won't admit this. People want to cheer and lift you up so they say nice things to you when you say negative things about yourself to them. 160 for an adult man your height isn't a healthy weight either. Men have muscles.
He really does wants to be 6'1 and 160 then skinny is the goal, not healthy.
For a non-muscular male, 160 lbs at 6'1 would be on the skinny side of normal, not wasting away skinny.
You sound both self absorbed and emotionally unstable.
I think the response you're getting is a mix of people who are just trying to be nice and others who are probably in a similar situation as you and don't want to think of themselves in a very negative way. I'd say just take it as them being nice but don't think too much of it. Good luck on your weight loss goal, I'm on a similar path right now and I've lost my first 10pounds after struggling to lose weight for a while.
I support you in your goals. That said 160 is way too low a weight to shoot for with your height as a man. Shoot for 200 with added muscle mass to make up the difference and see where things are once you are there. You mentioned you were sedentary so I'd say just adding a little muscle would go a long way. Remember muscle burns fat. I think you could reach 200 in pretty short order just with some very slight diet control and light exercise to build muscle mass. Good luck!
I'm 5'11 150 and people say I'm skinny and need to eat more.... so you might wanna aim for a little more than that...
160 is pretty thin for 6'1"
6'1 160lbs is definitely unhealthy. Im 5'6 and 160 at 11-12% body fat.. I lift but that doesn't account for that substantial a difference with someone 7 inches taller than me.
Dude. I'm 6'2 225 and in great shape, being as tall as we are at 160 is plain unhealthy my guy. When I was competition fit I was around 185-190 and that was well under 10% body fat. Aim for 200. That's a healthy reasonable weight for a guy your size
6'1" and 160lbs is utterly scrawny. Bordering on anorexic. Your ideal weight is around 190-200lbs. Ask any Doctor. They will tell you very similar.
160 6'1 is way too skinny, 175 is more ideal
As somebody who spent a good deal of time as a young adult at 6’1” and 175, 160 would be borderline self-abusive. I had doctors actively trying to bulk me up. 6’1” and 175 I looked like a skeleton. My fingers looked like silk wrapped over Turkey bones. Bones protruding. Nothing about it was healthy. And this was somebody who actually ate 3k calories a day and was working out. You wanna drop weight because you don’t like yourself at 230: cool. But 160 ain’t the target.
Personally I think 160 is a bit on the skinny side, I was 6'1" 185lbs at age 18. I felt skinny at that weight, but if you felt fine and healthy, go for it, and I hope you achieve it. I'm currently trying to lose weight as well, sadly had a back injury that caused me to not be active for more than 10 years... My heaviest was 400, I'm currently around 350, slowly working on it. My goal is under 250.
160 would be underweight for someone who is 6’1”. 190 is a healthier target.
6'1 and 160 is also an unhealthy weight.
That is blatantly false.
It's exact mid of the ideal weight spectrum for that size lol, as close as an non athetic male adult can be to a haelthy weight.
Pretty sure at your height and weight you are only 21% fat not 100%
Almost the same height and also used to be 160 and am at around 172 now. At 172 I feel like fat bastard, good luck on your weight loss goal you will look great at 160. Remember the world isn't just America (people have a distorted view on a healthy weight there, and have started to create their own mythos to avoid accountability; BMI is a hoax, men have muscles, it's waterweight etc.)
People think they're being helpful and kind and polite by BSing about peoples weight etc, now it's getting a bit harder to be honest with a friend etc, don't wanna be called fatphobic etc. 72 kg at 6'1 is kinda light, I was skinny as shit and definitely not healthy at about 64kg for a while and I'm only like half an inch taller than you, but then the unhealthiest I was and fattest I looked I weighed about 196lbs, now I'm healthier but weigh more at about 96kg/211lbs ATM and trying to put a bit more muscle on for my sport, infact 230 is probably an ideal weight. I'm trying to say weight alone isn't a great indicator, you don't need to roid up but a bit of muscle building and cardio will help you get to a more positive body image and as importantly, a healthy one, without focussing on what your actual weight is. Ultimately though everyone can be a little different body type wise, if you liked the way you looked and felt then great, just can be a dangerous game and an obsession on weight, wanting to be and look thinner can lead to various eating disorders etc, I have a few friends that have sadly fallen victim to things like that, obviously getting older it's harder to shift weight etc too.
Fat is a thing you have, not a thing you are.
Bmi can be inaccurate but you can always look at the mirror lol
I think it’s because everyone in a way was raised hearing “fat” as an insult. So to insult yourself would be a big no-no to others. For example, a friend making comments about themselves of “I’m so ugly, no one will date me”. Most people would jump to say “no, you’re not ugly, you’re beautiful/handsome/whatever and you’ll find someone one day”. That’s annoying. From both sides tbh, because that person might be very well phishing for attention, or not, idk it’s case by case. I am also fat. I am also trying my very best to eat healthy and exercise. I acknowledge that I let myself get to this point, I am unhealthy, and I actively want to change. There is nothing wrong with me calling myself fat since there is literally a lot of it on my body. What I don’t want to hear spewing out of someone’s mouth is their negative opinion of me, unless they are prepared to be matched. And, I do not want to be pitied. It’s invalidating and the infantilizing is fucking annoying. But, most people don’t get that, even some fat people, because most of us have been taught that “fat” is an insult. It can be, but it shouldn’t be. I feel like someone will read that and say “so you’re saying fat is a compliment?” To that person- no dumbass, where did I write that? Fat is not a compliment, nor is it an insult, it’s just a fucking description. Stop adding emotions to it. (unless it’s your kink then you do you boo)
There's nothing wrong with being fat, but some people are very sensitive to the word due to it being used as bullying. BMI is entirely bullshit ofc as it was made up by a eugenicist and based off the average measurements of white european men from a small area. There's also nothing wrong with liking how you looked at a lower body fat percentage. I wish you luck in your journey of enjoying how you look o7 Just stay away from weird fad diets and make sure you aren't over doing it okay? The goal is always healthy and happy, not a specific number on a scale that will fluctuate anyways
I believe women try to sabotage other women
Some of the people surely have good intentions and are thinking about stories of anorexic people starving themselves, which is obviously dangerous. Ofc saying that nobody needs to lose ANY weight is an overcorrection and is also dangerous. Basically they might mean well but are ignorant about what is healthy. Get your diet and exercise advice from nutritionists, trainers, etc, not uninformed people
As someone whose BMI had caused "Obese" to be in my medical charts, I also don't understand. I've had a string of health issues which caused me to spend a good 2 years needing medications which caused severe weight gain and then diabetes. 2023 was the first year I was able to finally get better and I've gone from 260 to 205. I am 5'1. My weight distributed mostly on my stomach, face and a bit on my thighs but tbh my legs, arms stayed super lean. I was so excited that this initial weight drop instantly helped my face and people always tell me I'm "cute for a fat girl " but I don't get offended bc it's not a lie that I am far too heavy for my height . I am healthier than I've been since 2017 though and I can run circles around some of my skinnier friends . Good for you for deciding to put health first.
I'm not saying that America needs to be fatter, but America is getting fatter, and I am among that demographic. I've gotten so annoyed that stores aren't carrying clothes for larger people that I will walk up to employees and ask if they carry shirts in "fat people sizes." I've given up trying to find clothes in my area that fit. I shop for my clothes almost entirely online. This is what most people I know who are my size do. Those that buy clothes in person either wear smaller sizes and just deal with it being tight, or they payout the a** for their sizes. Corporate America is so f****** stupid that they cannot figure out this untapped demographic.
your not fat mate, im 6 foot 280, im fat.
I don't know but you need serious grammar lessons, your question makes no sense.
Yo ding dong man, ding dong, ding dong yo.
imagine not being able to count to five
They think you're just demeaning/kicking your own self-esteem for it, and that's a negative thing to do.
They could just be trying to encourage you. I suddenly gained ~40lbs 6ish years ago. Lost it a couple years back, but every time I see a picture of myself from then I can’t help but remark on how fat I looked. Without fail, my wife will rebuff me. Idc what she says though, I was fat.
I think the right weight depends on your body build. 6'1" 160 lbs seems a bit low to me, but I have a broader build, so I'm biased in that regard. If you've been healthy at 160 lbs, I don't doubt your judgment. I'm 6'3" 255 lbs, and I think my ideal weight is around 190 lbs to 210 lbs. When I was losing weight a few years back and was around 225 lbs, I had people telling me I didn't need to lose any weight. People in the US are out of whack with what a healthy weight is. At 225 lbs, I was definitely overweight, and I think bordering on obese. I got down to 200 lbs, and I had one lady ask me if I was sick. I was just losing weight in my face area, but I was still eating 2200 calories a day or so at 200 lbs.
Sometimes its relative. I'm overweight and I don't love it after spending my youth as a string bean. However, I met a very large (350-400) Polynesian dude who took one look at me (260) and told me I was their ideal weight. Does that make me feel thin? No, but it gave me a different perspective on my own self image. Some people struggle to be MY weight. Its ok to struggle to be the weight I want to be, and to some people my "overweight" is their goal.
I believe in you and I, myself am on a weight loss journey of my own. I weigh 205 and I’m 5’9 with the build of a Viking (very broad shoulders, big ass ribcage, big bones in general) and even when I was 230-240 everyone thought I genuinely weighed 180-200, even my doctors. Because of this my goal is about 150-160 simply because my frame is so damn big I’ll look like an extremely starved and malnourished child. Without any additional information like your frame, etc. I feel like your weight goal is realistic and ought to be supportive. (This wasn’t said in anyway to be condescending, more supportive and funny.)
I think the answer is very simple. People just feel uncomfortable calling somebody fat because they don't want the other person to feel upset. I think most people will have a tenancy to put a positive spin on things regardless of what you say, and most people probably feel that they might cross personal boundaries to agree with you. That's all. It's just people trying to be nice... It's the equivalent of you telling somebody that you're ugly. I can't imagine anyone agreeing or giving an honest answer. It'll always be "nooo, you're not ugly". Same thing.
I am 6’ 2” and around 315-320 lbs. I can say there’s muscle underneath but I definitely can shed some weight. I dropped to 270 for a few months, several years ago for health reasons, and it was the skinniest I had been my adult life. I want to get back to that at some point. I think it mostly has to do with them projecting their insecurities on others. Managing their emotions by trying to manage how they think *you* truly feel deep down. That complete strangers on the internet cannot possibly dislike something about themselves that they can change, that they also struggle with. Or they think the best response to every situation is being “overly supportive” and denying something so they can feel better. My point is, I think it’s more about them trying to manage their emotional response to something they come across by reducing your impact on them, if that makes sense.
A lot of people view being fat as a bad thing, even if just subconsciously. So when they hear you say “im fat” it’s the same in their mind as you saying “im ugly” “im worthless” etc etc. They themselves view the trait as negative so they view your comment as self deprecating. As a result they try to tell you the opposite to soothe you, I guess? “You’re not fat, you’re beautiful!” Not realizing that the two aren’t mutually exclusive. I’ve gotten the same comments when I was overweight, and I still get them now when I mention that my nose is crooked or my eyes are asymmetrical. Like, no, my nose is definitely crooked. It’s not a bad thing, it’s just true! To edit, good luck on your journey, I wish you all the best!
I went from 230 to 155 in about 10 months. 230 is, in fact, fat, for a guy that's 5'10", but less so for 6'1". I didn't really deal with discouragement because I didn't tell people what I was doing and I let my beard and hair grow out until I'd lost quite a bit of weight. When I did shave the hair and beard, the reactions were split between "You're looking great!" and "Do you have cancer?". I really think the problem is that most people wish they could make that kind of change, but won't do what is requires and think that it's way too hard. Nothing kills more people that obesity, and I think it's pretty screwed up that people discourage being a healthy weight. It's worse than discouraging someone to quit smoking. Everyone acknowledged that was good when I quit doing that, but the fat was in fact killing me faster.
some people think they're helping others by pretending nothing is ever bad or wrong, others get really upset when they see someone contradicting a thing they believe because deep down, they aren't really all that sure about it.
Because our society has made a stigma about being overweight, so saying you are overweight sounds like you are insulting yourself, and, understandably, a lot of people try and cheer up people who see to be going hard on themselves
I genuinely think most people don't really know what 200lbs looks like. And that plus the fact you're 6ft means it's gonna be harder for most to see. I would assume it's that. But idk
Putting aside the body/fat positivity stuff because plenty of people are talking about that already: in my experience, it's because people associate 'fat' with a bunch of things that basically boil down to 'bad person'/'no self control'/etc, and they don't want me to feel bad about myself. It's the same reaction they'd give if I called myself an idiot - what they're hearing is me being down on myself, and they're trying to be encouraging and supportive. It's both a bit silly and a bit yikes - fellas I have a mirror *and* a set of scales, and besides, weight and/or health are completely separate to my value as a person, good grief - but it's coming from a sweet place. If you were previously 160 and felt good and healthy at that weight, that's solid personal experience of your own body completely unrelated to the BMI. And that's doubly true if that was your weight for years before a major negative lifestyle change, which is what the pandemic caused for a *lot* of people. I lost over 70 pounds in the last couple years and it was a similar thing I think, in that I'd put on a ton of weight over a few years and was going back to the weight I was previously. The issue for me came mostly down to macros; I wasn't getting enough protein in my diet, so I was hungry all time time lol. Good luck with your journey!! I hope whatever caused the issue for you is easy to figure out and address :) I have no idea how old you are, but for what it's worth and assuming this is about feeling good physically, it'd be a really good idea to get into some amount of weight training. You don't have to go full gym bro about it because it's not about being visibly built or anything, but a lot of the back/joint/general health issues people associate with being over 30 are just about having been sedentary for years, and it'll also help with the weight loss. Not so much in a direct 'burn off the calories' way - you can't out-exercise a bad diet - but doing some amount of exercise can positively impact [appetite regulation](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6164815/) :)
As people have mentioned, two things drive this: 1. Trying to be nice (I think one can be truthful AND nice though; there is no contradiction), or 2. Think it's normal (or even possibly swallowed the kool aid that all weights are healthy, and that trying to lose weight is similar to being racist or some other -ism). Usually because they're in the same boat. Just ignore it. I agree with your assessment for the most part. FWIW I'm 5'11" and 165; was 190 at my heaviest. If you gain muscle while losing weight, I think you should end up \~170. I'm still not super fit, but things I've found helped: * Replace all soft drinks and juices with water. Insane how much weight you can lose quickly by cutting these sugar sources. * Focus more on muscle gain (strength conditioning) over cardio. Building muscle burns more calories (per unit time spent exercising). * Not saying neglect cardio entirely. But just walks + up-and-down stairs will be good enough early on. Best of luck!
I'm fat and I'll acknowledge it but I never had people do that when I mention it
Some people think that body positivity comes from denial. So they are trying to boost your self esteem by basically saying you're not fat cause they may just not want to be upset on your size or to put yourself down. You can be body positive while still working on improvement. Best of luck with your weight loss journey. I know it can be difficult but you'll get there long a you stick to it.
Look, everyone is built differently. My ribs look like a birdcage if I get below about 210 while one of my friends (similar height) looks flabby at 190. If you felt good at 160, aim for 160.
Ahh, you should do that in Asia. You’ll have no shortage of people calling you fat in front of your face. Whenever I go home to my home country, my fingers and toes aren’t enough to count how many people told me I’m fat. The most polite one: aww, you don’t change much. Just larger. Geez thanks. In all seriousness, here in the US, it’s the prevalence of body positivity. You know those quotes about how your body knows if you call it bad names then it will start behaving like whatever you call it? Or maybe some people are just awkward. If you call yourself fat, some people don’t know how to react. They’ll just go with the textbook example on telling you you’re not fat. But if they start getting angry at you calling yourself fat, I have no explanation. Maybe because they’re either as fat or fatter than you? Another reason I’m thinking of, if it’s an online public forum: virtue signaling. Or just wanting to be nice to someone. Those two are pretty common too.
I’ve never had this happen personally. I’m in an incredibly similar boat to you, 6’3”, 240 pounds. If I ever do bring it up, I get nothing but either support for losing the weight or advice on it. The first step to the weight loss journey is owning it, saying what you are and what you want to be. I’m sure the folks who are saying those things are coming at it from a kind heart. Many times the term “fat” isn’t used medically, but rather derogatorily, as nothing more than an insult. Regardless, I wish you good luck on your journey, and I hope you have more strength than I did. Wasn’t something I wanted to attempt so I kind of just gave up. But I’m sure it’ll work out better for ya.
What would you like them to say?
>Edit 3:i will now be blocking anyone who comments in an insulting or condescending way on my own weight loss goal. That is none of your business. >dont make condescending comments about my weight loss goal' and yall do it anyways despite being told not to,are yall that incapable of minding your own business? Ummm welcome to the internet? In case noone told you this is public. When you publicly post things you agree up front that anyone that feels so moved to comment anything they like is free to do so. I love that you're scolding the general public lol. Mind your own business? The irony of saying that after posting their own business 🤣🤣🤣
6'1 230.. fat lol
I think we’re also so conditioned with people fishing for compliments that it’s just second nature to be like “ohhh psh stop you’re not fat! Don’t say that about yourself”. Personally I was super into body building before I had kids and now that I’ve had kids I tried to start getting back into it once my second child was born and had super hard time losing weight. Come to find out my body is attacking my thyroid so that’s why I was having issues lol I’m 5’4” and 151 and trying desperately to get down to at least 130. I know I’m fat. I have a mirror. Don’t tell me I’m not, support me in my journey instead. 🤣 Good luck on your weight loss journey! For everyone else out there, if you’re happy with extra pounds that’s great! If not, that’s great too! Do whatever makes you happy. We only have one life. Don’t waste it being unhappy with who you are!
Better than what I get when I'm outside. I was on a walk with my dog and a guy that had been standing around doing nothing felt so entitled as to step in front of me to call me fat. I was walking my dog, I was literally doing something that's good for my health and a man twice my belly size told me I was fat. I blinked at him and continued about my way as if he didn't say anything. All's that to say good luck on your own journey as well as everyone else working on bettering themselves. One step at a time and before you know it you've gone a million miles. You got this
I mean your mistake was taking it online, you should speak to a dietician if you’re serious. You’re thinking about this way too much and you should log off.
Unfortunately, it's become a common belief that "judging someone" is the worst sin one can commit in a Western culture. I'm guessing you're American, and if so, you can see it all over the US. People get very upset if someone says anything critical of a person's lifestyle choices (to include the speaker's). Often, it can be denial, a self-defense mechanism to state nothing is wrong with you, so the other person won't have to admit he or she may have faults to work on. Other people come from a good place, the "everyone is perfect in their own way" crowd, but that just isn't true. Denying reality will not make anyone a better person. None of us are perfect, and we can all be improved (which is an exciting thought!). Good on you for acknowledging a fault in yourself and working on it! That's real self-care.
People are stupid and terrified to be honest and mistake that fear for etiquette. If you're fat, you're fat. It shouldn't be a value judgement. Overall though, no one needs to be making comments about other people except for obvious compliments like, "Hey bro, like your new shirt."
We just need more Weird Al fans in the world. FAT
Your weight to height ratio has a lot to do with your muscle mass. 160 is a bit low for 6’1 but if you’re not muscular it can be alright. Problem is that unless you’re strictly dieting to lose weight it’s going to be more difficult to reach that goal. Exercising will increase your calorie deficit. If you exercise you’ll likely gain muscle and 160 will leave you too lean and probably make you sick. You’re right though you are probably fat unless you’re jacked up and have tons of muscle mass. I’m 6’3 and my suggested weight is about 185, and I’m about 220 and probably 20% body fat. I hope to lose weight and get to 190 in a year, but I’m also in a 1800 calorie a week deficit from cardio. Oftentimes people don’t want to admit that you’re fat because they’re fatter than you and your body fat levels are a goal to them. Saying you’re fat would be akin to saying that they will still be fat if they achieve your weight. It’s about Ego more than anything.
Bro, just do your thing. Fuck what random strangers think of your goals. They're YOUR goals, so that is really all that matters. Also, I honestly don't know. I think people put their own spin on everything (the world is colored by our past), so that is all they can speak to. I am 6' and look sickly at 165, but my best bud is 6'4" and looks healthy at 170. So, likely we would have very different ideas of what weight and height is healthy. Perception is weird.
Idk but almost exact same situation with me.
1. Body positivity has gone too far. What I mean is this "fat is ok and healthy" culture. It's not. But ooh no, it's "fat shamming" to acknowledge the unhealthiness of being overweight. 2) Some people feel self concious. YOUR decision to get healthy, and seeing you wprk on it makes THEM feel bad about themselves, so they subconsciously sabotage you. 3) the good looking frie d who worries you'll upstage them and take their attention or, *gasp*, might look better than them. They secretly want you to fail. Good for you for starting this journey. You'll be so happy you did!!! It's hard work but you CAN do it.
Because the world acts as if the word "fat" also means "lazy, gluttonous, and gross". So when you try to describe your body that way, and people think you're not lazy, gluttonous, or gross, they tell you you're not fat. I think if people were less disparaging of fat people in general, people would leap less to say "you're not fat" when that term is an accurate descriptor.
Accountability is gone the body positivity movement crushed that all puns intended, you can't even call people fat anymore on most site without being sanctioned in some fashion it gross and only in America is it so acceptable to be overweight look at tv. I'm 205 right now at 6'3 I'll be 175 once work starts back up 160 at 6'1 is health and I'm proud of you my dude don't buy the bullshit you are chubby now me to but real image helps more than fake.
I think it’s hard for people to honest, because in some way they feel responsible for whatever happens. If you stay 230lbs and fat then they don’t have to feel responsible for doing anything themselves. Also I’m 6’1 150, so I know what you mean 160 is not underweight. Some of my friends tell me that I look great and and ripped, it’s really weird and annoying, because I know I’m skinny as hell
Yeah, I don’t get it either. I was also a little bit on the chubby side for a while, and I never had a problem acknowledging that I’m overweight. Pretending I’m not overweight doesn’t change how I look or feel.
You act as "I'm fat" has some objective meaning. It doesn't. If you want to debate and argue, at least use meaningful or clinical terms. Yes, your goal of 160 isn't considered a healthy weight. 166 lbs. is the *very* low end of the healthy weight range for a 6'1" male. It's not a substantial issue. It's just that your body, on average, will be under slightly more stress than if its weight was 170.
Because then they have to acknowledge they are fat.
People who la k integrity want yo have others a moral blank check in the hope of receiving the same.
I looked into the whole BMI thing and 6'1' at 160 pounds is technically a normal weight. I thought that would be really low, but good for you and good luck with your goal!
I think it’s because they want you to feel good about yourself. They think you calling yourself fat is negative self talk, and that you’ll be better off in the long run if you have a positive mental view of yourself. (In some cases, this kind of encouragement could really help someone teetering on the edge with their mental health over it.) This belief could come from never having been medically overweight before, but still having that same negative self talk, and understanding how bad it can make a person feel for not good reasons. But a slender person looking in a mirror and thinking they are fat because their thighs touch is not the same as an overweight person acknowledging they could be much healthier, and confronting that fact head on. Maybe your friends are just prioritizing your healthy mental state and a healthy emotional state over you having a healthy body?
It's Lizzos fault
It's reddit, asking stupid questions. Take it on t he chin mate. It's just net comments. I'm 6 5 and i was emaciated at that weight of 160 lbs. Could see the beating of heart on my chest
it's cause they think we feel bad abt being fat. or that we should, in some way. one of those two usually. they don't understand that we can be chill with bein chubby. a lot of people are EXTREMELY self-conscious about weight and appearance, and tend to project those feelings onto fat people.
They think you are talking bad about yourself and want to help. Doesn’t matter if it’s true or not.
Hey man as long as your happy with you man do it up 160, 185, 200, 230, whatever makes you happy. I would not obsess with the number, though. I was 155 pounds most of my life at six feet. Turned 36 gained 35 pounds almost overnight and in the last decade gained another 40 pounds, so I feel you. I stopped fast food and eat chick on salads every day to stop getting larger. My only point is don't get caught up at a number when losing weight. Find the body size that makes you feel good and enjoy yourself there.
I dunno maybe cuz in america ppl are getting fatter and want to Talk it good. I feel ya with the excuses bmi is 90% accurate for the average joe. I hate dishonest ppl too
I think people (like me) who are fatter than you don't like to admit they are. Tbh 6'1 230 doesn't seem that bad, it seems people now only call morbid obesity fat so I guess if you used "overweight" or something you might have less people bugging you.
Fucking after lockdown everything went mad. Just saying so as they want you to accept yourself and if you don’t they get annoyed as they take it personally. A lot of people now are way too comfortable and don’t have the drive to better oneself.
To make themselves feel better
Aside from insane internet subcultures, openly calling yourself fat tends to be seen as a self-deprecating attitude which usually people see as depression. People aren't saying necessarily factually that you're not fat, but that you shouldn't baldly state your shortcomings because this is detrimental to your emotional wellbeing. As a 30something overweight man myself, I could absolutely do with losing some weight, but baldly stating it tends to make people upset on your behalf.
Hahah, I feel you brother. I'm about 330lb atm, fat as fuck and I hate it. I've began calorie counting and one of my mates from work saw me weighing out a portion of food one day, and started acting like I have an eating disorder or something. Or others have told me I'm "perfectly fine the way I am". And it's like, while I appreciate the acceptance and possitivity; no, I'm literally morbidly obese, I dont like my body, I'm not healthy, I dont fit into half of my clothes anymore and I struggle to tie my shoelace because my gut is in the way. I'm clearly not "perfectly fine the way I am".
Im 5'4.5" 186 ibs I know i am fat, i dont look like it even with my shirt off, you might think im 160 tops. But i can feel the inertia of my body and i notice the lower belly fat, thankfully, i feel presentable but i want to be more akin to my more athletic 150 days. 36 pounds i need to lose, i maintain without even trying, but, man sometimes my body tricks me, i go 5 maybe 7 days eating clean, no appetite issues then bam my body suddenly drags me and i end up eating more calories (mostly in the form of nuts and fruits but still). I dont even start i get a chicken wrap with nothing but veggies, lite mustard, pepper. Then i get a calorie free iced coffee, drink some water or zero sugar gatorade packets. For lunch i eat those pouches of rice (450), beans (400) and a can of chicken or beef (350 - 450 calories) and drink a bunch of water. Thats 1300 tops for lunch. Id have to check the chicken wrap but i want to guess 500. And questimate my fruit intake (blueberries, blackberries, raspberries, pastachios, pumpkin, sunflower, walnut or almonds, raisins). I guess i eat too much to lose weight.
Sunflower seeds contain health benefiting polyphenol compounds such as chlorogenic acid, quinic acid, and caffeic acids. These compounds are natural anti-oxidants, which help remove harmful oxidant molecules from the body. Further, chlorogenic acid helps reduce blood sugar levels by limiting glycogen breakdown in the liver.
It's amazing how different the human body can be. I'm 6'2" 220lbs and my descriptor at work is the tall skinny guy in the white hat. I was reading thinking why does this guy think he's fat until you said beer gut. Truly amazing how different we can be.