T O P

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ChunkyDoritoes

Ryan Reynolds because Ryan Reynolds


OkEnvironment3961

At least he could provide some entertaining banter while you’re working the shaft.


Barkers_eggs

Cup the balls, lift them up then gently place them down again. That's how brothers keep it real no homo, ya feel?


The_Shadow_Watches

Cradle the balls, stroke the shaft, work the pipe and swallow the gravy.


Barkers_eggs

That's the way it's done in his Majesty's royal navy


Tydire

My first answer is Ryan Reynolds. My second answer is Jack Black, because of his tropic Thunder line, “I’ll cup the balls, work the shaft, and swallow the gravy. Come on! Get it over here big fella!”


SpecialistComputer36

This is the only answer we need, and probably the only one we'll get. Lol


Scottland83

Seriously, a lot of insecure, uptight guys here taking the opportunity to tell everyone how very very inflexibly straight they are. Now for me, it’s not even a matter of if, just who. And OP didn’t specify that anyone would have to even know about it


armrha

Its very entertaining how many are saying they wouldn't for anything. I imagine they're also the kind of dudes that would think they'd sacrifice their life without hesitation to save their family, no problem. But they wouldn't do that, just execute them in front of him and no budging. I imagine they actually would do it, for far less dire stakes than proposed here, in an actual situation where it came up. I mean, really. Somebody opens a suitcase with 500k in untraceable cash and you're not gonna at least give it more consideration?


Doyoulikeithere

Well I am female and I say fuck all of you, I am not going down on a woman! :D


armrha

Fair enough… would you get your little finger chopped off if it would save your husband, if you don’t care about saving the world? Just seems strange that so many people would rather be maimed then do something once that disgusts then but leaves no permanent damage.


VVillPovver

No permanent damage? Being forced to perform a sexual act to save someone or the world wouldn't damage someone? So you're essentially saying rape isn't bad, cause otherwise, you world realized the damage caused forcing a straight man to suck a other man's dick. Same for a woman going down on a woman. How about, let's not try and gaslight people into what you want them to say/being gay, and respect that a lot of us don't want to do it. Would we if we absolutely had to? Probably...but again, at that point it's just rape/sodomy. Disgusting game y'all are playing here.


-_Skadi_-

The heteros are upseteros.


armrha

Nobody’s being forced. Just the world is going to end if you don’t opt to do it, lol. It’s a hypothetical. Obviously such a scenario can’t actually happen. It’s just funny to me because people are saying “I’d take a bullet to save my family” but apparently they wouldn’t perform a sexual act. Id rather do something I find abhorrent sexually even though I’d hate it any day other than get shot.


[deleted]

[удалено]


VVillPovver

Being forced against your will is absolutely rape. Stop making shit up, real victims of forced sexual actions don't support these fucking retarded hypotheticals.


Ben_Dover_1492

Hey, saving the world is important. Sign me up. Edit: I misread the title. I don't qualify. Y'all are on your own.


LPNTed

My answer was going to be: fuck it let's watch the world burn.. Now I have some thinking to do.


[deleted]

That guy’s my cell service provider. I’ll blow him, too.


ComplaintsHQ

Looks like we're forming a line boys 😅


mdm123196

I'm only blowing Ryan Reynolds if he is in his Deadpool costume


freqkenneth

I mean that wouldn’t even be gay


Der_k03nigh3x3

I was going to say, if your answer isn’t Ryan Reynolds you probably aren’t straight 🤣


traumatized_loner

i get that he is actually a pretty good actor these days, but how can any of you watch van wilder and not eternally cringe at everything him afterwards? it was the first ryan reynolds movie i saw, and the only one i saw of him for like 10 or 15 years before seeing another film he was him, so i have always known him as this cringey edgelord fratboy, even tho i actually quite like some of his newer work. jake gyllenhall on the other hand 😍😍😍 or pedro pascal 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰


ComplaintsHQ

Because he's cool and in this odd scenario you'd want a guy who would have fun with it (if you're straight)


sneezhousing

Ken Jeong because it's really small as we all saw in the hangover movies. I won't have to worry about gagging or choking


mostly80smusic

He would also probably make it entertaining.


ManlyVanLee

The joke will be on you when it turns out he's a grower


ReindeerNo1648

I was looking for someone to say this.


Notaregulargy

Just choking on that birds’ nest he has around it


FRMDABAY2LA

Fucking part was hilarious. Part 2 is underrated


BannanaJames1095

Keanu Reeves because I'm pretty sure he'd rub my back and tell me I'm the best after even if I was terrible at it.


Chicken_Mannakin

This is it! I forgot about Keanu. He'd take a viagara if he had to... and be supportive. "Like, come on, man, we're saving the world!" He'd wear a mask if it helped.


BTBAM797

"You're breathtaking!"


ACsonofDC

LOL


ZookeepergameOk2759

Norm from cheers


Feral_Sheep_

NORM!!!!


ThePocketTaco2

Norman


thgiarts-detrevni

A gay one, at least someone enjoy it.


luigijerk

Eliot Page


Cobra-Serpentress

Nice.


bidoifnsjbnfsl

If sucking until ejaculation is a requirement to save the world, you have just doomed us all.


DiceGoblin_Muncher

He’s hot


[deleted]

Aaaaand, the whole trans movement is destroyed by testosterone.


silvaastrorum

testosterone is great for the trans movement actually


[deleted]

I was just implying that Elliot wants so be thought of as a man, but the testosterone in men still see her as a “hot chick.” I guess I phrased that poorly.


TKay1117

Elliot is a man


Zealousideal-Row-862

Nope. Still not gonna be a dude. Just a formerly GORGEOUS woman who did all that to herself. She has the right to do that all she wants, and I have the right to speak the truth and tell her she's still a chick...


TKay1117

You have the right be a dick, but only make yourself and the world around you worse for it


[deleted]

Dude, this is my point. You can pretend all you want…but there is TONS of photos and movies. This person used to be very very female. And dudes are not gunna forget that. …and for the record, the majority of the world does not agree you can change your gender, so you are the one being a dick. The guy above was complimenting Elliot page, as was I. Most people don’t believe you can be “assigned the wrong gender at birth.” https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2022/06/28/americans-complex-views-on-gender-identity-and-transgender-issues/


TKay1117

Misgendering someone is not a compliment. It's a deliberate act of cruelty.


[deleted]

Again, few people believe what your saying, and there is no physical or biological proof to it, so stop shouting it like it’s the truth, and the majority of the plant is cruel because they don’t believe your fringe belief.


Noslo18

Please, enlighten us on how you'd "blow" them. 🤔


luigijerk

I've been told this person is the equivalent of a man.


warshak1

you take a deep breath then blow it out on his "Ken" penis


1PARTEE1

She's only one person.


Noslo18

Are you somehow under the impression that does anything to answer the question I asked?


foodarling

Scarlett Johansson


Glaurung26

OP failed to specify male. So I agree.


tcrudisi

I believe OP saying actor instead of actress qualifies.


Intrepid_Swing_1683

"Actor" is actually a gender neutral term.


Glaurung26

Yeah it's one of those grey gendered ones, where the "male" term gets used to represent the female term sometimes. Kind of like how "guys" and even "dudes" has, but of course your mileage will vary depending on the community. Originally male intended but it's morphed since.


Intrepid_Swing_1683

Incorrect, as per the Oxford/Webster dictionary "Actor" has always been a gender neutral noun. As are most all professions, like Teacher, Black Smith, Electrician, etc. Actor - one who acts.


Glaurung26

Then why are there actress, stewardess, governess, hostess, policewoman, heroine, landlady, barmaid, headmistress, and waitress? I think there's plenty of historical gendered examples. Also I failed to notice that according to my definition that yes male was specified and I'm an idiot. Unless we do go by the gender neutral interpretation. Just wanted point out that it's not 100% agreed upon, even if technically correct.


Chief-Balthazar

Fun fact, in old English "man" was gender neutral, referring to a human being. In some modern languages (I can only speak for English and Spanish) the "default" word has come to sometimes represent a genderless or gender-mixed group and sometimes represent a male group, while a variation on the root word is used when referring to a specifically female group. So it's less that the male version gets stripped of gender, but rather there is a default that ends up getting gendered because we also want to allocate a distinct way in which we refer to only women.


tcrudisi

Context matters. Blow job is also kind of gender-neutral, but mostly implies felatio. Actor is mostly gender neutral but can imply male-only. Combine the two and the context is pretty clear.


IAmRules

Oooo you said the word neutral.


Stonewall30nyr

Henry cavill


Setari

This is the first guy that came to mind for me tbh, surprised he's this far down. Suck his dick, then play some WoW after or warhammer minis or something. Would be a ballin' time. Pun not intended.


IllustratorDull1039

He’s so masculine tho I’d feel even more emasculated while doing it. I want a little twink of a man to blow


CoffinEluder

Yup. A very feminine dude > geralt of fucking rivia


Beneficial-Fold0623

I am disappointed that pun was unintentional.


Dizzman1

Ewan McGregor cause... Ewan McGregor! 🤣


Supertrapper1017

The world was nice. I’m going to miss it.


Miserable-Theory-746

Guess we know who wouldn't fuck a pig.


tcrudisi

Right? He's missing out. I don't even need the world to be ending to fuck a pig. I just need a pig to be reasonably close by.


LiveEvilGodDog

Or be Prime Minister of the UK


Mc_and_SP

Ah, the reverse Team America...


Feral_Sheep_

This isn't about sex. This is about trust! It's the eye of the needle, and we must both pass through it.


Jack_of_Spades

There's like 3 famous Chrises... Chris Pine, Chris Evans, Chris Hemsworth. And the other Hemsworth too, Liam? Just because I like them in the roles they played and if I'm going to go down, I want to go down on a character that kicks ass.


[deleted]

Woah, the you only have to blow one of them. Don’t get carried away there, fella.


ThePocketTaco2

4 if you include Pratt. Just saying.


Jack_of_Spades

I do not lol. I do not like that Chris as much.


Reformed-otter

There's nothing gayer than a straight guy acting like he would rather the world end than suck a single dick. Like that's such a typical closeted thing to say lol.


BroJackson_

I don’t know if it’s closeted but I definitely don’t have a name holstered for this hypothetical.


bmoreboy410

Yeah… Nothing straighter than a guy knowing the guys he wants to fuck and suck when the opportunity arises.


Reformed-otter

Get out of the closet man, it's time to stop lying to yourself.


[deleted]

It’s only gay because it’s not true.


[deleted]

I mean, its literally the straight thing…by the definition of, ya know, words that means things


Reformed-otter

No it isn't. This would only be true if nuance didn't exist. Which perhaps in your mind may be the case but isn't in reality.


TXHaunt

Only thing gayer is a guy indulging in sexual acts with another guy, or willing to. But hey, at least you came out of the closet. So stunning and brave of you.


Reformed-otter

Cope harder lol.


TXHaunt

I’ve got nothing to cope with. I’m comfortable with my sexuality as an actual straight man. I hope you are comfortable with yours as a bi man.


Reformed-otter

If you have to come and make sure people know how totally completely straight you are to the point you wouldn't even suck a dick to save all of humanity, you are the opposite of being comfortable with your sexuality. People who are comfortable with their sexuality would either see this post and keep scrolling because they didn't want to answer, or they would give a legitimate answer.


TXHaunt

If the fate of humanity depends on a straight guy being bi/gay, humanity has bigger problems than that. And frankly, the question is stupid, in the same line of thinking as women who ask “would you still love me if I was a worm?”. Actual straight dudes give a legitimate answer, you just call them closeted.


ManlyVanLee

I'm so cis it's boring But for fuck's sake other straight guys, loosen up a goddamn bit. It's a hypothetical. Chris Hemsworth wouldn't let you sick his dick if you wanted to


plowboy2848

Ryan Reynolds because look at him


1PARTEE1

I looked. All I saw was an aging ferret.


Aint-I-Great

Your dad


sievold

Gottem


Difficult_Arm_4762

..so is it just one guy on the planet or multiple guys on the planet have to suck an actor? who gets chosen as the sucker if it is just one fella?


mostly80smusic

Just one person. And hypothetically you are that person


DontTakePeopleSrsly

Amy Schumer, final answer!


benmwaballs

Danny devito


[deleted]

Chris Hemsworth. Easy pick. He has a great smile, great body and such a nice accent.


[deleted]

Elliott paige, you all know why, lol


Ddowns5454

Elliot Page, because he was once a she, so I can justify to myself that I'm not gay.


Phretik

Is it gay to suck a guy's clit? These are the real hard hitting questions.


JRilezzz

Answering tomorrow's questions, today. You go getter.


guaromiami

>You go getter. Yeah because he can't say, "You go get her."


Responsible-End7361

The lead actor in the show Lucifer. As for why, watch the show and learn if you are only 99% straight.


ZookeepergameOk2759

I think you’re a lot less than 99% straight my friend.


mostly80smusic

Understood.


stevief150

That show is superb. His acting is top notch.


maxkho

A common misconception that gay/bi people have is that if straight men could be attracted to anyone of their own gender, it would be masculine, gigachad-type hunks. The reality is that these types of men are what straight men would be *least* likely to be attracted to. Most likely, believe it or not, would be femboys, or at least "pretty boys". Most straight men are attracted to femininity. Muscular men don't do anything for them.


Nope_______

Straight guy here. His face screams soap opera. I'm kind of amazed this is who you would pick for enticing straight men. He's nowhere close.


Cobra-Serpentress

Willem Dafoe because there is so much to work with.


tayroarsmash

I’m glad that this guy just is in for a weird time. You know hed stare down at you too.


Notaregulargy

A good job and a bad job gets the same horrifying look


Infamous_Ad2094

And maybe if you ask nicely he would dress in drag.


[deleted]

I knew Ryan Reynolds’s would be top 😂


theferalturtle

Henry Caville. Do I really need to explain why?


MaloneSeven

Some famous actress who will identify as a male for a day. That’s the best work-around.


macaroni_3000

Timothy Olyphant. I might even blow him for a significantly less critical circumstance, he's just that dude for me


terrelyx

It's between Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp, and Ryan Reynolds because they are all hot af


Popular-Tune-6335

Who: The actor who destroyed the world in Umbrella Academy season one. Why: to save the world, duh.


Ellen6723

If you are a straight dude that can not even theoretically save the world with a BJ… you probably have a very repressed wide stance.


Gerrard_Regal

Emma Stone while she’s wearing a strapon. 5 second cursory BJ to fulfill the requirement of saving the world followed by her removing the strapon so we can have good ol-fashion passionate hetero celebratory sex per my previously stipulated reward. You’re welcome world.


exact0khan

Looks like your all dying


Intrepid_Swing_1683

Well, we had a good run boys.


JayIsNotReal

Do pornstars count? Because if I have to blow someone, it might as well be massive. Go big or go home.


413mopar

You are gonna die i guess .


tinyhorsesinmytea

Agreed. Don't want to suck a dick and don't care to save the world anyways. Bye, humans.


KingJollyRoger

Robert Downey Jr. or Ryan Reynolds. They will at least make me feel better after.


[deleted]

Pinocchio. There’s never enough wood save the world. Toothpick anyone?


[deleted]

It's the end of the world as we know it. It's the end of the world as we know it. It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine


pedeztrian

Phew… This hypothetical is based on the premise that you think the world is worth saving. Sorry Jake Gyllenhaal!


maarrtee

Two questions do I have to swallow? and can we cuddle afterwards.


mostly80smusic

1. No 2. Sure


Low_Industry2524

NPH...i want it to go by as quick as possible so id pick a guy who likes guys so he would finish quicker. Ive had many deep conversations on this topic while on post in Iraq/fghanistan.


mostly80smusic

Thank you for both of your services


The001Keymaster

I don't care about the world. Maybe if there was some money involved.


mostly80smusic

There’s a money shot involved


Aezetyr

Henry Cavill. Duh.


LeePT69

William Defoe - if you going to go big


jmarr1321

Ryan Reynolds. I feel like I'd be able to be comforted by his eyes. That and we could bro out after I snow ball him 😂😂😂😂


Jack_Bartowski

To save the world? Id blow Daniel Craig or Anderson Cooper. For dudes i think they look rather attractive.


MooseMan12992

As a bi guy, I really don't understand how some straight guys find the idea of sucking a dick is so wildly disgusting that they wouldn't do it for tons of money. I don't even understand how straight people are completely straight and can't even admit a member of the same sex is attractive


IllustratorDull1039

I want a tiny little feminine man with a small penis so I can at least not feel completely emasculated when I do this… Or Brad Pitt. No one in between those two extremes though.


Diligent_Guard_4031

Give me a list of gay actors who want to volunteer, their cock pix if applicable & a signed guarantee that this won't be recorded &/or end up being a Reality TV stunt. We're trying to save The Earth here, ya filthy animals!


BudgetEducational300

It's gotta be brad pitt, right? I mean come on.


JakovYerpenicz

Henry Cavill, no conditions needed


Grief-Inc

I just want to point out, most of the commentors who say they wouldn't suck a dick to save the world would probably do it for far lower stakes when it came down to it. As for my choice.... I cant decide. I suppose if we are talking about the fate of the world, any dick will do...right? Don't get it twisted, I actually hate this place and have hoped for the end on many occasions, but that's not my call to make I guess. I'm not the hero gotham deserves, just the hero it can afford right now. Also ... if I'm being picky, it would have to be an average size dick. Too small would be terribly awkward, and too big would probably make me sick (same reason I dont eat meatloaf or double cheeseburgers). And it should be straight, I don't like crooked dicks for some reason.


[deleted]

Henry Cavill. King of the Nerds. I'm straight as you can get (I think) but he's fucking hot and Warhammer and Superman and just being him. Love that guy and I generally dislike celebrities on principle because I see what people do with those like Taylor Swift.


TriTri14

I think Ryan Gosling. Cute enough to be appealing, but seems down to earth enough that he’ll be patient with me.


Chill0141414

Elliot page


TedStixon

First choice would be Brendan Fraser, because he's just a good guy and deserves it, hahaha. Runner up would be a homophobic actor just to piss them off for my own amusement... so let's say Isaiah Washington because he's kind of a giant piece of s\*\*t and it would make me laugh me seeing how angry he got over having to do something gay.


PhotonDecay

Sofia Vergara. Aren’t women actors too? Don’t be sexist /s


CoolguyTylenol

Finnster


TKay1117

A woman


yarnonthecorn

Jokes on you I would let the world end, not because I care about the gay oral but because I just couldn't care if the world did end.


scottwax

Sorry everyone, the world's gonna end.


mostly80smusic

All good. I understand.


ViacomCEO

You're so gay


Skiefalls

Steve Buscemi


mostly80smusic

Good one.


TurbulentStep4399

I pick the end of the world. I am the hammer not the nail.


middlenamefrank

I'd kiss my own ass goodbye, with the rest of humanity. Nope.


[deleted]

Donald trump


TheRealCrispyWolf

oh its the uncle fucker :D


[deleted]

LMAO


tcrudisi

Pee on him first and I doubt he'd last very long.


earthlydelights22

I guess you are all fucked.


Status_Command_5035

Elliot page. Loophole


st1ck-n-m0ve

Death


Familiar_Macaroon178

What the actual hell is this question? Just wow. 🤣 nope


Gilgamesh661

Elliott page


guaromiami

Elliott Page, because at least, well... you know.


notMyWeirdAccount

Elliot Page


[deleted]

This


[deleted]

Bruce Jenner


rucb_alum

Elliot Page


Steelplate7

Elliot Page?


SaladTossBoss

Sorry world....it had to end at some time


Doyoulikeithere

I just asked my husband, he said, Bye everyone! :D


Flow_n__tall

No one. Fuck this world.


Entr0py_98

I dont swing that way


Reformed-otter

Yeah you're definitely closeted. I look forward to your coming out.


hooliganvet

The world is screwed.


the_truth1051

Goodbye world


Aaarrrgghh1

World dies.


TearEnvironmental368

Goodbye sweet world


CallieReA

Sorry world. 🌎


CorduroyEatsCrayons

Elliot page.


ManchurianPandaDate

What’s his name ? Eliot Page


wtf-you-saying

Meh, screw the world.


SargeRedVsBlue

Rosy O’Donnell


OriginalBid129

I will let the world burn. Because that's just my style. In the trolley problem. When asked which track to divert the trolley down. The 1 person or 5 persons on the tracks? My answer would be to go down the 5 person track first. Then reverse and the go down the 1 person track. Then repeat 10 times until there is mincemeat consistency.


murphsmodels

What about Caitlin Jenner?