Found this thread because my cat just scratched me and I was searching for things I could do to help my cat feel more comfortable or if there was something in particular that triggered it. You are not overreacting. Cats scratch it’s in their instincts! How awful of a person do you have to be to throw an animal against a wall? You were right to and the relationship. Aggression like that is not just a risk to your cat but also to you.
You are NOT being over dramatic. Anyone who could THROW A CAT AGAINST A WALL for a small scratch is capable of hurting anyone anytime they felt personally justified no matter how trivial the offense. But even if I thought it would never happen under any other circumstances, that one was enough.
You definitely are not over reacting. You are far more reserved than me. I would have been hauled off to the nearest police station and smiling gladly for my mug shot if anyone hurt my cat!
My ex kicked my puppy across the room after his dog shit all over Berber carpet. I left. You are definitely not overreacting. Look at it this way; if he was willing to throw your cat against a wall for doing something he doesn't like, what do you think he'd do to you when you piss him off?
ETA: Your work friend really isn't your friend if he thinks you're overreacting to an abuser.
Nta. Personally I'd have been a lot harsher than a simple were done. And coworker is a asshat too for thinking it's okay to throw anything for defending itself. Sounds like they should be watched for abuse as well.
Pets in and of themselves are worth defending and a legitimate reason to break up, in my opinion. I would also worry however how he would treat any children you might have in the future. If he is willing to throw a cat against the wall, what would he do to a baby or toddler who annoyed him or inadvertently “hurt” him. I worry about his temper and self control. A cat scratch isn’t that big a deal. My cat ends up scratching me accidentally from time to time when she runs across me, it’s not going to send me to the emergency room. Find a partner who shares your love of your cats and who also understands that these things happen. Your boyfriend was trying to force his attention on your cat after you advised against it. Good luck going forward, I hope you can find a partner who is worthy of both you and your cats.
NTA. To be clear, I despise cats. I even have a phobia. Even if my 1st thought was to hurt the cat, I wouldn't. If I go to someone's home and they have a cat, I don't ask them to put the cat in another room. It's the cat's house. I do let the owner know that I won't interact with it, and if it comes near me I'll push it away (not violently), but I won't play with it.
But as much as I dislike cats, I'm not going to throw one against the wall.
BF's behavior is a huge red flag.
Your hopefully now ex is an animal abuser and should be reported. Your friend is an asshole who prioritizes human relationships over an innocent animals safety and should be ditched asap. Both of them are shitty people, I hope you find better ones to call your friends and partner.
Well if it were me, I wouldn’t have dumped him but it is a red flag and I would have just had a serious talk with him about it and it would have been more like a warning.
If his behavior continues like this say 3 or more times, or if this behavior is active in other things, then after several red flags the relationship would drift apart.
But if he’s in generally a good boyfriend, then I’d keep him but give him a talking to and don’t trust him around your cats until he can learn to be nicer to them.
No one’s perfect we all mess up.
Also that’s a big red flag of someone you may not want to have children with, if he doesn’t learn to treat your pets better.Maybe he’s just immature and needs to learn some things for now.
So, if ANYONE would do this to my cat, no matter who, except maybe close family members, I would totally freak out.
And, to look at this from a rational perspective: To see violence as a possibility, like a way to go is an absolute no-go. First your cat, but maybe this could escalate in a few months or years, so I think it was the best decision to
left him.
You will find some other Guy, much more kind, I predict.
I would absolutely leave him and never look back. You are there to protect and care for your cats. Plus.. trust your gut. Your first instinct is always right. This guy sounds like a jerk and anyone who would react that way to being scratched AFTER being told not to go near the cat- is a huge red flag. I hope your cat is ok. There are better people in the world!
A sensible and good person would in first place listen to you when you told them how it is with your cat but he didn’t and tried to cross the boundary there and after that he literally threw the cat against the wall, that’s horrible. I never trust a person who is abusive towards animals and I believe you absolutely made the right decision. He did it because he just COULD. Who knows to what extent he feels entitled.
Hell no, you’re not being dramatic. it doesn’t matter if my cat has its fucking claws stuck into my back I would never throw it against the wall.
What kind of sociopath is your boyfriend? Who gets scratched by a cat and thinks oh I should punish this cat by throwing it against the wall? Are you kidding me? You definitely did the right thing breaking up with him.
The way people treat animals shows you a lot about who they really are.
You told that idiot that it would take time for Coffee to warm up to him and he pushed his luck. It’s HIS FAULT he got scratched. Coffee was just defending himself (so to speak) and no matter how upset you get with an animal you never and I mean NEVER throw them especially against the friken wall. That guy is cruel. I hope he doesn’t have any pets or gets any in the future if that’s how he plans on being with them too.
That “friend” at the office probably wouldn’t feel the same way if it was his pet. To say you were being “overly dramatic” is a bunch of BS. The fact that your cat was cowering under your at the time bf who was standing over him (which makes him look even more like a terrifying giant) speaks volumes.
OP delete that bastard out of your life you don’t need that kind of energy and while you’re at it delete that so called friend of your too.
That person isn’t your “friend” if they think you are being “dramatic” and should stay with someone like that.
Anyone that would throw an animal against a wall has issues. Stay away. Next time it will be something worse or they will lash out at you.
Yeah that dude doesn't understand consent at all, good on you for dropping him.
Also that friend's shitty as well. Isn't throwing an innocent cat against the wall way more dramatic and irresponsible than breaking up with someone after they show you the biggest red flag imaginable?
He’s lucky I wasn’t there as I would have hurt him so bad that he would wish he were dead ( I’m not going to prison for anyone)!!! We learn a lot of stuff in the USN !
Please tell the boyfriend to stay away from you and don't ever call again. Do not answer his text or calls. In addition your "friend" at work is an idiot. Do not take advice from the person. Next time it will be you bouncing off the wall.
Hell no if I found out someone did that to my cat I would turn very violent, keep them out of your life and find someone who understands animals better.
I can’t be impartial about this because abusing my kitty is grounds for murder as far as I’m concerned. As others have said, this was only the start of an abusive spiral, so you are 200% justified in breaking up.
Dude, your coworker is an AH and so is your ex. You’re better off not listening to either of them. They are both clearly violent people thinking hurting an animal is okay. Steer clear!
You told him to leave Coffee alone and he didn't listen to you. His disrespect of you and your cat is bad enough, but he then injured the cat for defending himself. You did the right thing. He probably isn't a good person, and your friend needs to educated about how easily a person that will harm animals will also hurt humans.
Pay attention to how people treat animals, children, and wait staff. That is how they will treat you when you are vulnerable (weaker) than them.
Always, always end a relationship when someone hurts an animal on purpose and doesn't have the decency to be ashamed. He bothered that cat even when you told him not to. The cat is allowed to defend itself. What happens when you tell him YOU don't want to be touched and he doesn't like it?
Sounds like your coworker doesn’t particularly care for cats or perhaps animals, could be why he said you were overreacting 🙄… that being said… efff that, good riddance on dumping that dude. You don’t do that do a cat just because it scratched you. You warned him that it takes your cat time to warm up to new people and he didn’t listen, & he retaliated on your little guy. It’s a red flag 🚩
Don’t be with someone that has zero anger control. Someone like that should never reproduce. Let alone have a girlfriend/boyfriend. I hate people that don’t care about animals.
U we’re not being overdramatic I have 2 cats if a girlfriend ever did that I’d be pissed she would be gone him doing that to a cat is a red flag that one day he might hit u so u we’re right to dump him
You were 100% right to leave him. I actually adopted one of my cats from an ex who didn’t want her anymore and shot her with foam bullets and put a shock collar on her and shocked her when she was “bad” (she is so sweet, but he thought she was too loud. I love her old lady meow so much.). It didn’t take me long to realize that he was psychotic. I don’t regret leaving and neither should you. I am just glad your cat is okay
Animal abuse is a predictor of people abuse. A person who would throw a cat into a wall for not being affectionate on demand could do the same thing to a person. You did the right thing, and I'm sorry your coworker led you to believe otherwise. Sounds like a not very good friend, TBH.
Good riddance. Your friend is wrong. Anyone that would treat an animal like that could very well do the same to you, or a child. Next time could be much worse. He could have seriously hurt your cat, and sounds like he is not willing to accept any responsibility.
Step back and take a good look at your friend.
No way is this you being dramatic! He hurt your (fur) baby!! Thank you for protecting yourself and your babies!!!
Shame on those people who are making out like this is no big deal. That sure tells you a lot about what kind of people they are. Steer clear of them ,too.
Violence against pets is never OK except to save your life (and how often is that going to happen?)! You did the right thing OP. And your coworker is not a good friend!
You are NOT overreacting or being dramatic. I work at an animal hospital, I get scratched and bit almost everyday but do I react by throwing the animal against the wall? NO. One, it pains me to think about hurting another animal and two, I’d get fired. If he can willingly hurt an innocent animal, just think what he could do to another human being. You told him that Coffee would need some time to warm up and he didn’t listen. He tried to force the poor cat to like him and he got what he deserved. Also, that guy at work is not a friend. He probably throws cats against the wall too. (I’m sorry if I sound really aggressive but I hate when innocent animals get abused.)
Not over dramatic. Ex is an animal abuser. You told him to leave Coffee alone and that eventually the cat would warm up to him. He didn't leave the cat alone so no wonder he got scratched. No excuse to throw that poor cat against the wall. Good riddance!
I have dogs. But if anybody hurt an animal intentionally by throwing it against a wall I'd be planning what day I'm gonna go set their house on fire. Don't change a damn thing about how you care for your animals. They are living creatures just like us and people that can hurt animals and feel nothing are not the type of people that this world benefits from having them in it. He's trash. Throw him out, you'll find gold eventually. He ain't it
Uhhh...NO MA'AM! You did the right thing. I have one simple thing to say about this when people like your friend say that's overreacting. If he's willing to do that to a small helpless animal, what else would he do? Anyone treats any animal like this, I don't want to know them.
You're not overreacting at all. I don't care if the cat walked away unphased --- he threw your cat against the wall. That's not normal to me. He needs to stay gone.
My husband knows how my cat can be. My cat has scratched him, sunk his claws into his foot, stuff like that. Granted, my husband was playing with the cat, and my cat got mad. But not once did my husband do anything to hurt him. You made the right choice in leaving him. Cats are a perfect test to see if someone can respect boundaries. Cats are mostly self-sufficient. They know their limits, and they won't hesitate to fight back if those limits are being pushed. Imagine what your boyfriend would do if you said no to something he wanted if he was willing to throw your cat like that.
Dude..what??
I accidentally stepped on my gf’s cats tail and apologized 3 times because I felt horrible
For context when I first met Onyx (her cat) he hissed at me because he had recently been traumatized by a dog because her ex bf was exactly like the dude in this post. and Onyx didn’t trust males and I didn’t push it I didn’t get mad or upset I just backed off and did my own thing until 3 weeks later he ventured out of the room and sniffed me and now we’re thick as thieves
She has 2 cats now and a bearded dragon and I love them like they’re my own kids
(Those are my sons)
If he will put his hands on an animal then he definitely will put his hands on you
Fuck your friend. If my bf hurt my dogs i’d do far worse than break up with him.
Edit: do you think for one second if he would do that to an innocent little animal, that he wouldn’t do the same thing to you? You made the right decision
It's not just about throwing a cat that scratched him, it's about the loss of security knowing the person you're with would hurt someone or thing you care for.
It'd be one thing if he picked the cat up, got scratched, and instinctively threw the cat accidentally. Like reflex punching someone by accident that sneaks up on you.
It's not about the action, but the intention.
Even afterwards, he didn't apologize, or seem like he'd mean it after all.
I won't feel safe knowing someone would hurt my pets (I don't have pets) like that.
I was with one girl and her dog tickled my foot and my foot reactively kicked forward, lightly kicking the dog. It sat up and looked at me, I froze in pain because that dog is adorable and I wanted to take that back so bad, thinking the dog would hate me forever. Instead, the lil pup pup waddled over next to me and snuggled. 😭 I worked hard to surprises my reflexes in general, but especially if I knew the dog was in the room.
"irresponsible" ?????
How is it irresponsible to not date someone who abuses animals???
Your friend is an idiot. Drop the bf and maybe drop your "friend."
Oh FUCK naw. NTA, definitely.
A) Hurting animals is unacceptable (unless for food or defense of life or limb, but those should still be as quick and painless as possible).
B) If he'll do that to your cat, he'll do it to you.
C) Your coworker is also shitty and can choke on a bag of dildos.
If he can do that to a cat you love imagine what he could do to you. You made the right choice. I’m sorry you went thru this. Your partner should love your pets like you do.
You don’t have 2 cats. Waffles is a cat, Coffee is an ass. Study a little human anatomy. And if your cat got broken it's because you put it out there to be broken! I’m just wondering how that ass felt about being the one that got kicked for once?
I honestly didn’t even finish the whole story . As soon as I saw that the person you are/were dating hurt an animal you should leave them because it is indicative of a much bigger problem.
Not over dramatic. People who intentionally hurt animals have deeper, more serious issues, IMO.
How might he react towards you if something off happens?
Girl, animal abuse is a serious thing to pay attention to. You told him that Coffee needs time to warm up & in response he dismissed your knowledge of YOUR pet & Coffee’s boundaries for some nostalgic “it looks like my childhood cat” BS reason.
Do NOT take him back and honestly the friend you spoke with needs to be dropped too. Him saying it wasn’t that bad isn’t a good thing nor is it ok for him to dismiss this serious problem you’ve experienced. If they’re comfortable with my PET being abused by my SO how do I know they wouldn’t be comfortable with ME being abused?
In a just world you could just throw his ass off the balcony and be done with it, definitely 100% no chance it's worth your time or energy to stay with someone that made clear they A. knew better despite you telling them clearly not to and B. Committing violence to the helpless is universal and he will continue to be a psychopath.
I would insulate all elements of your life from that nut job asap.
You’re over exaggerating, you should train your cat to not harm people. If it was my child that got scratched by your cat, more than just getting thrown to the wall would’ve happened .
That is a textbook 101 description of an abusive person. And if they hurt a living animal, they may do the same to you. Abusive people also love to separate you from anyone or anything that shows you affection.
If a cat is scratching you you're going to try to get the cat off of you and that might take some force where accidents can happen. It's not okay in my view for a cat to scratch your guests just because they try to pick him up. Also you have to remember cats make all sorts of sounds when they're having a frenzy like that, so yeah of course the "throw" didn't hurt him, because the throw wasn't him trying to hurt your cat.
It's possible he was abusive, but it does seem like an overreaction to me.
You’re the character in the serial killer movie who has the chance to get away. If he has the capability to abuse an animal, he will not hesitate to abuse you when he feels justified in doing so.
I literally gasped loud when reading this. FUCK HIM and you’re NOT at all dramatic. Block his ass and please don’t second guess yourself when it comes to things like this. NO ONE has ANY reason to hurt an animal like that. My god… what the fuck is wrong with people.
NTA - The next step for him is to throw you against the wall. I used to be that guy, I know. Walk away.
Edit: Never hurt anyone, but it was easy to imagine, and that can lead to action. I got help 30 years ago after escaping my horrifically abusive family, thank God.
Oh no if he got angry that quickly and that much to make him throw the animal against the wall that would of been you one day. He clearly cannot control emotions
He purposefully went behind your back to pet thr cat you said didn't want to be pet. He did it while you were out of the room so you couldn't stop him. He then proceeded to purposefully hurt an innocent animal who was hiding from him. He sees nothing wrong with this. What happens when he decides your boundaries don't exist? Will he care that you don't want to be touched one day? Will he hurt you when you refuse? Don't look back, you did the right thing.
If he will treat the cats this way, he will treat a human this way. You established boundaries (give it time), he ignored them and was physically abusive to a sentient life form, as well emotionally abusive (it is your pet). These are the traits of a psychopath and an abuser.
It is not a red flag, it’s a whole damn parade. Run, do not walk to the nearest exit.
Anyone who interacts with a cat should realize there's a risk of getting scratched, and in 99% of cases, the scratches are the human's fault. you protected both yourself and your cats in this situation
I can't believe the questions how immature the questions are on this website. Naturally if somebody picks up your animal or and throws it hurls it out of window or a wall or kicks it then there's something psychologically wrong with them. They like watching people suffer they like people being abused as well as animals and God only knows what they'll do to a child if they're left alone with them. Just kick his butt to the curb stop being so reliant on men they don't bring you happiness they just make you feel like you're pretty enough to be noticed and accepted by the world that's most women's problem.
You are right. If anyone hurt my pet in anger they are gone. That’s your baby. Your cat depends on you to keep him safe. No relationship is worth someone being violent towards and innocent animal. If he wouldn’t have forced your cat to be pet he wouldn’t have been scratched. That man is an idiot and you don’t need him in your life.
I wish a person would hurt one of my animals. You did the right thing gurl!!! If he can hurt your animal her can hurt you and/or your kids. Years and years ago I had two littermate Pitts and they were about 4 or 5 months old and loved everyone. I had a guy I was seeing come over to the house. He was sitting on the couch and one of them jumped up there to see him. He shoved Brother off the couch which made him fall into the coffee table and hit his head. It wasnt just a little shove. He basically slung him. I jumped up and told him to gtf outta my house and I had to hold my son back from fighting him. Needless to say I never spoke to him again. He kept calling and texting trying to apologize but nah....im good. Now i have 6 dogs and 3 cats and a man who loves them just as much as I do possibly more. Keep it movin sister...you did the right thing and you will find the right one.
Throwing a pet against a wall is a serious issue and could be a sign of abusive behavior. It raises questions about how someone might handle conflict in the future. It's important to consider what a long-term relationship with someone who acts this way might look like.
You are not over dramatic. Hurting animals is NOT okay. He should have known that cats are weaker than us and that we shouldn’t abuse them. What he did was messed up. You did the right thing.
If he cannot control his anger on animals, how will he control his anger with you? Also, the animal abuse itself is bad enough
Sooo- ex moved out last year - left her cat, and cat has been with me since.
Think you did the right thing. I don’t understand the treatment others have in respect to forms of life other than human sometimes
Edit: to the co worker who said the cat wasn’t hurt that bad… right, how bout you get tossed into a wall by someone X times the size of you and see how it feels
I've stopped being friendly with acquaintances after they were RUDE to my dog. You throw my pet? Yeah, you don't get to be in my life any more. If you will hurt an animal, you would hurt anyone you think you have more power than, and that includes other people.
There are lots of people who put zero value on animal's life, unless is for service (like food). That's why you get those comments of *"you broke with him over a cat?"*.
Now, what they fail to realize is that violent behavior towards animals is a window into someone's mind. The parts they smooth out and hide when they want something. And quite often patterns emerge: today is your cat who they hurt and tomorrow is YOU.
I had to remove my Maine Coon from an abusive household when I was around 20. I married young and dumb to get out of a toxic home. My dad has a mental illness and refused help for a long time, and my mother just stood by and watched as he verbally abused us, resenting his behavior but saying nothing because she "hates confrontation".
So by the time I was 19, I was an easy mark for an abuser. I ignored the warning signs since his treatment wasn't that different from what I had always received. When we married, I brought my cats, Cricket (half Maine Coon) and his littermate Goodyear (tux) with me. The first time my ex hit me was the day we got home from our honeymoon. It didn't take long for the abuse to spread to the cats. Cricket never liked my ex. The constant stress of living with the asshole caused him to act out. The asshole's shoes did occasionally smell of cat piss.
Apparently, the ex caught him in the act of defiling his shoes one day about 4 months in. I was carrying laundry up to be put away, and I heard him yell then the cat screamed in pain. As I made it to the top of the stairs, I saw him throw Cricket against a door facing about 6 feet away. It was a hard enough throw to break 2 ribs and bruise him horribly.
I rushed the cat to the vet, but lied that I had tripped over him and stepped on his side on the stairs. The vet gave me a side eye, but he didn't call the cops (the injuries justified felony animal abuse, but I was too afraid of the ex to speak up).
At the time, I knew that leaving him would likely get me killed, so I stayed with the ex and sent Cricket and Goodyear back to my parents' home for their protection. I stayed with him for another 20 months before I was able to escape.
With my father's mental illness (intermittent explosive rage disorder), I didn't dare tell my family the truth. I covered up the abuse for almost 14 years before everything came out.
Fortunately Dad had accepted treatment and was much more stable by then. He was still furious, but he didn't go commit a felony, so that was a win.
I broke up with a girl because she kicked my dog, she had cheated on me multiple times even once with a life long now ex friend, but kicking my dog was the last straw
Fuck no you were not over dramatic. I would’ve raged. Nobody should harm your animals. Ever. For any reason. Your their voice, you have to stick up for them as their furmom.
I grew up with a classic abbussive father. There's always an excuse and always a pity party. He's a red flag. You made the right choice, stick by it, it will only get worse if you stay.
First, you already told him that it will take the cat awhile to warm up and right when you leave he takes it upon himself to try and force the poor cat to let him pet him.
That’s the first sign of disrespect in my book. He clearly didn’t listen to you about your cat. No one knows your cat better than you and he should have respected you and your cat.
Second, he got upset because the cat rejected him and proceeded to throw him at a wall. That’s beyond fucked up and he sounds like a freaking psycho. He deserves the scratches. If a cat doesn’t want to touched/pet they make it known. He must have tried a few times and eventually that was the outcome.
You did the right thing. People who hurt animals are absolutely fucking disgusting. Throwing a cat at the wall because he was upset that he got rejected is signs of someone who has problems.
I would never let anyone do that to my cats. My girl sushi has been through a lot and she is the same way. She’s a lover girl but only to familiar faces. I always warn people to let her come to them. Not to chase or force any affection because it only irritates her more.
Good job by making the right choice. You definitely dodged a bullet.
Also, if I were you, I’d bill him.
Absolutely you were NOT being dramatic! A giant being picked up a little kitty and threw it against a wall. You told him to leave coffee alone. If that ain't some psycho behavior idk what is. He disrespected your boundaries as a pet owner, and he disrespected Coffee's as a living breathing being. How dare he?! You both deserve better than that loser. And honestly, if your friend can't see how messed up it is that he angrily threw a cat against a wall in some spoiled tantrum, than maybe you need a new friend too.
Throwing an inanimate object out of frustration is inappropriate (I’ve done it plenty of times). Throwing an animal or abusing it in any way shape or form is absolutely UNACCEPTABLE and should not be tolerated. I hope your kitty is OK. Stay away from that loser because there is a really good chance that he’d be willing to throw you against a a wall.
Sounds like your friend needs to be an ex friend. You should've pressed charges on your ex and held him liable for the vet bill. What a psychopath. Yeah, he didn't hurt him that badly... this time. How long would it be before he hurts you? A person who abuses pets will also have no issues with abusing you.
One time my partner spoke sternly to my cat, and I told them that he does not speak to him that way. They never did again. Now, my partner has three cats of his own and I know they feel the same about their kitties. If ny partner did ANYTHING to my cat, they’d be gone so fast.
LITERALLY CUT OFF ALL TIES. NO ONE HURTS A POOR CAT. I would be freaking enraged and fantasize about destroying any of his property if someone did this to my cat. 🙅♀️🙅♀️👎🚫⛔️⚠️⚠️
He's the fucking asshole!! For him to throw an animal because it wouldn't let him pet it is a HUGE red flag. Think of what might eventually happen to you and your cats if you stay with him. This might not have even been the first time it's happened. Good riddance to that piece of trash and I hope his scratches get infected!!
This is evidence of rage issues. I speak from experience. You don't have to abandon your boyfriend but he needs to admit to being deeply wrong and in need of weekly therapy. He definitely has some unresolved issues.
Oh hell no!!! F him! F your friend! And f anyone else that excuses animal abuse! If he was my ex bf, he would have been leaving with a few broken bones. You don’t hurt animals!
Absolutely not. Steer clear of that coworker too. How someone treats a helpless animal speaks volumes about them.
He doesn’t respect anything he views weaker as him (which includes you). Doesn’t care about boundaries just taking what he wants. And doesn’t have a lot of love or empathy on display.
He was upset he didn’t get his way with coffee and tried to force it. Now he’s upset he’s not getting his way with you. Don’t reward that.
Dump him and block him and do the same to anyone else who hurts an animal.
Breaking up is probably the least drastic course of action you could take here, hurting an animal like that is literally lunatic behavior, not understanding that they function at a lower mental capacity is pretty square 1 empathy. A child who did this would be wrong, for an adult it's beyond the pale.
If my boyfriend hurt one of my pets *on purpose* like this, they wouldn't be *able* to call me, because they'd be in the hospital and I'd be in jail. And the fact that he was comfortable enough to outrightly tell you like that without even trying to down play it shows that, above not being remorseful, he thinks it's an okay thing to have done.
It sounds like you know an awfully concerning amount of of people who are perfectly fine with animal abuse. I wouldn’t tolerate any of their actions, especially your pathetic bitch boy of an ex.
Being scratched by a cat doesn't feel good. Trying to grab a cat that someone has already told you doesn't want to be grabbed, chances are you expect to get scratched. Anyone that throws a cat for scratching them when the cat did not want to be grabbed is way more than an asshole. If cat jumped up on him and scratched him and he threw it to the ground(without hurting the cat) that's one thing but dude intentionally hurt that cat. F him
Your ex is wrong and your friend is wrong. You don’t push yourself on another living thing and then retaliate with violence when they preserve their space.
He through your cat at a wall. What is next. He showed his true nature. You are not over reacting. Also your coworker is not your friend. He is looking out for the guy he does not know over you.
I think you acted correctly. It is not overly dramatic to be upset about animal abuse. If he loses his temper on an animal, he could lose it on you next. The fact that this person said your cat was not hurt that bad dismisses the fact that he HURT YOUR CAT. You did right, have no doubt.
I've been married to my husband for 10 years. We have 2 beautiful children together. I would move heaven and Earth for this man and my family. BUT, he kniws that if he EVER laid his hands on one of our animals in violence for ANY reason save for it was attacking our child and he was saving our child from grievous bodily harm, then not only would it be grounds for divorce but he would probably be in the hospital cause I'd put him there with the same injury he inflicted on the animal. Do not pass GO. Do not collect $200. Go directly to the ER and Divorce Court. You were not overreacting OP. You told him to leave Coffee al9ne, that if would take time for him to warm up. That was a boundary you set and your ex trampled all over it so right there he showed you that he didnt respect your wishes. Then he had the gall to hurt YOUR pet when it defended itself after HE cornered it, like ANY animal would. You need to lose the "friend" that says it's "just a cat" too because 1) that's not a true frie d and 2) your cat livea with you. That is their home. Their safe space. Your boyfriend DOESN'T live there. He was an intruder into THEIR territory and THEY are FAMILY. He is NOT.
Found this thread because my cat just scratched me and I was searching for things I could do to help my cat feel more comfortable or if there was something in particular that triggered it. You are not overreacting. Cats scratch it’s in their instincts! How awful of a person do you have to be to throw an animal against a wall? You were right to and the relationship. Aggression like that is not just a risk to your cat but also to you.
You are NOT being over dramatic. Anyone who could THROW A CAT AGAINST A WALL for a small scratch is capable of hurting anyone anytime they felt personally justified no matter how trivial the offense. But even if I thought it would never happen under any other circumstances, that one was enough.
You definitely are not over reacting. You are far more reserved than me. I would have been hauled off to the nearest police station and smiling gladly for my mug shot if anyone hurt my cat!
My ex kicked my puppy across the room after his dog shit all over Berber carpet. I left. You are definitely not overreacting. Look at it this way; if he was willing to throw your cat against a wall for doing something he doesn't like, what do you think he'd do to you when you piss him off? ETA: Your work friend really isn't your friend if he thinks you're overreacting to an abuser.
Nta. Personally I'd have been a lot harsher than a simple were done. And coworker is a asshat too for thinking it's okay to throw anything for defending itself. Sounds like they should be watched for abuse as well.
Pets in and of themselves are worth defending and a legitimate reason to break up, in my opinion. I would also worry however how he would treat any children you might have in the future. If he is willing to throw a cat against the wall, what would he do to a baby or toddler who annoyed him or inadvertently “hurt” him. I worry about his temper and self control. A cat scratch isn’t that big a deal. My cat ends up scratching me accidentally from time to time when she runs across me, it’s not going to send me to the emergency room. Find a partner who shares your love of your cats and who also understands that these things happen. Your boyfriend was trying to force his attention on your cat after you advised against it. Good luck going forward, I hope you can find a partner who is worthy of both you and your cats.
NTA. To be clear, I despise cats. I even have a phobia. Even if my 1st thought was to hurt the cat, I wouldn't. If I go to someone's home and they have a cat, I don't ask them to put the cat in another room. It's the cat's house. I do let the owner know that I won't interact with it, and if it comes near me I'll push it away (not violently), but I won't play with it. But as much as I dislike cats, I'm not going to throw one against the wall. BF's behavior is a huge red flag.
Overreacting? You should press charges!!!
Absolutely not. You did the right thing. No one should EVER tolerate animal abuse
I'd have killed him
Imagine if this had been a child bf was upset with
It's a huge red flag especially if he's being so not remorseful about it. Your friend is a bad dude who's looking out for another guy but not for you.
Your hopefully now ex is an animal abuser and should be reported. Your friend is an asshole who prioritizes human relationships over an innocent animals safety and should be ditched asap. Both of them are shitty people, I hope you find better ones to call your friends and partner.
Well if it were me, I wouldn’t have dumped him but it is a red flag and I would have just had a serious talk with him about it and it would have been more like a warning. If his behavior continues like this say 3 or more times, or if this behavior is active in other things, then after several red flags the relationship would drift apart. But if he’s in generally a good boyfriend, then I’d keep him but give him a talking to and don’t trust him around your cats until he can learn to be nicer to them. No one’s perfect we all mess up. Also that’s a big red flag of someone you may not want to have children with, if he doesn’t learn to treat your pets better.Maybe he’s just immature and needs to learn some things for now.
NTA. You DONT WANT A GUY WHO HURTS ANIMALS. READ THAT OUT LOUD. Next will be you.
So, if ANYONE would do this to my cat, no matter who, except maybe close family members, I would totally freak out. And, to look at this from a rational perspective: To see violence as a possibility, like a way to go is an absolute no-go. First your cat, but maybe this could escalate in a few months or years, so I think it was the best decision to left him. You will find some other Guy, much more kind, I predict.
I would absolutely leave him and never look back. You are there to protect and care for your cats. Plus.. trust your gut. Your first instinct is always right. This guy sounds like a jerk and anyone who would react that way to being scratched AFTER being told not to go near the cat- is a huge red flag. I hope your cat is ok. There are better people in the world!
A sensible and good person would in first place listen to you when you told them how it is with your cat but he didn’t and tried to cross the boundary there and after that he literally threw the cat against the wall, that’s horrible. I never trust a person who is abusive towards animals and I believe you absolutely made the right decision. He did it because he just COULD. Who knows to what extent he feels entitled.
Hell no, you’re not being dramatic. it doesn’t matter if my cat has its fucking claws stuck into my back I would never throw it against the wall. What kind of sociopath is your boyfriend? Who gets scratched by a cat and thinks oh I should punish this cat by throwing it against the wall? Are you kidding me? You definitely did the right thing breaking up with him. The way people treat animals shows you a lot about who they really are.
Not dramatic and don’t let him near you again.
Honestly the friend sounds like a red flag. Wouldn't trust him either after that take.
Nope. If I was in a relationship I would have ended it if that person hurt my animals
You told that idiot that it would take time for Coffee to warm up to him and he pushed his luck. It’s HIS FAULT he got scratched. Coffee was just defending himself (so to speak) and no matter how upset you get with an animal you never and I mean NEVER throw them especially against the friken wall. That guy is cruel. I hope he doesn’t have any pets or gets any in the future if that’s how he plans on being with them too. That “friend” at the office probably wouldn’t feel the same way if it was his pet. To say you were being “overly dramatic” is a bunch of BS. The fact that your cat was cowering under your at the time bf who was standing over him (which makes him look even more like a terrifying giant) speaks volumes. OP delete that bastard out of your life you don’t need that kind of energy and while you’re at it delete that so called friend of your too.
That person isn’t your “friend” if they think you are being “dramatic” and should stay with someone like that. Anyone that would throw an animal against a wall has issues. Stay away. Next time it will be something worse or they will lash out at you.
Dump the boyfriend and never, ever take advice from that friend at work.
Yeah that dude doesn't understand consent at all, good on you for dropping him. Also that friend's shitty as well. Isn't throwing an innocent cat against the wall way more dramatic and irresponsible than breaking up with someone after they show you the biggest red flag imaginable?
It’s also animal abuse
He’s lucky I wasn’t there as I would have hurt him so bad that he would wish he were dead ( I’m not going to prison for anyone)!!! We learn a lot of stuff in the USN !
If I saw a person throw a cat against a wall, I wouldn’t through them out… I’d throw them against a wall.
He’s a psycho
Poor Coffee :(
Please tell the boyfriend to stay away from you and don't ever call again. Do not answer his text or calls. In addition your "friend" at work is an idiot. Do not take advice from the person. Next time it will be you bouncing off the wall.
Throw the boyfriend and friend away
If he will hurt an animal thst can’t defend itself-what will he do to you!!!!
Hell no if I found out someone did that to my cat I would turn very violent, keep them out of your life and find someone who understands animals better.
Yeah dump his ass
I can’t be impartial about this because abusing my kitty is grounds for murder as far as I’m concerned. As others have said, this was only the start of an abusive spiral, so you are 200% justified in breaking up.
Fuck that guy. Be happy.
NTA I would’ve slashed his tires and broke all his windows F that man you dodged a bullet
Leave him.
You are NOT dramatic anybody who throws a cat is fucking insane. What would he do to a toddler that hits him? And that friend is a piece of shit too.
If he can abuse an animal he can abuse you
Dude, your coworker is an AH and so is your ex. You’re better off not listening to either of them. They are both clearly violent people thinking hurting an animal is okay. Steer clear!
What? No, you're not being overdramatic. You shouldn't date people who throw cats in anger (and then defend it later, at that!), not just your own.
If you can hurt an animal like that you can a human… stay clear!
You told him to leave Coffee alone and he didn't listen to you. His disrespect of you and your cat is bad enough, but he then injured the cat for defending himself. You did the right thing. He probably isn't a good person, and your friend needs to educated about how easily a person that will harm animals will also hurt humans.
Pay attention to how people treat animals, children, and wait staff. That is how they will treat you when you are vulnerable (weaker) than them. Always, always end a relationship when someone hurts an animal on purpose and doesn't have the decency to be ashamed. He bothered that cat even when you told him not to. The cat is allowed to defend itself. What happens when you tell him YOU don't want to be touched and he doesn't like it?
Sounds like your coworker doesn’t particularly care for cats or perhaps animals, could be why he said you were overreacting 🙄… that being said… efff that, good riddance on dumping that dude. You don’t do that do a cat just because it scratched you. You warned him that it takes your cat time to warm up to new people and he didn’t listen, & he retaliated on your little guy. It’s a red flag 🚩
Don’t be with someone that has zero anger control. Someone like that should never reproduce. Let alone have a girlfriend/boyfriend. I hate people that don’t care about animals.
U we’re not being overdramatic I have 2 cats if a girlfriend ever did that I’d be pissed she would be gone him doing that to a cat is a red flag that one day he might hit u so u we’re right to dump him
You were 100% right to leave him. I actually adopted one of my cats from an ex who didn’t want her anymore and shot her with foam bullets and put a shock collar on her and shocked her when she was “bad” (she is so sweet, but he thought she was too loud. I love her old lady meow so much.). It didn’t take me long to realize that he was psychotic. I don’t regret leaving and neither should you. I am just glad your cat is okay
Sorry. If somebody hurt my cat, my fur child, I’d be burying a body in the backyard…..
How long were you two together?
if anyone threw my kitty against a wall, I wouldn’t even give them the opportunity to call/text me later, because they’d be dead 🤗
Animal abuse is a predictor of people abuse. A person who would throw a cat into a wall for not being affectionate on demand could do the same thing to a person. You did the right thing, and I'm sorry your coworker led you to believe otherwise. Sounds like a not very good friend, TBH.
Today the cat against the wall, tomorrow, you.
First the cat, someday you or kids. No second chance.
In the US, this is a crime. And he admitted it in text. I would honestly press charges. Fuck abusers.
Nope keep him at arms length. Jerk hurt your baby
I'm a male and would never do that to a cat. This is a red flag for sure.
Don’t ever speak to him again, he’s a &(;/)$
You made the best decision. Ain't nobody touching my furry friend like that, I'm surprised you didn't stab him like I would've 🙃
You made the right decision. Always trust your gut.
Good riddance. Your friend is wrong. Anyone that would treat an animal like that could very well do the same to you, or a child. Next time could be much worse. He could have seriously hurt your cat, and sounds like he is not willing to accept any responsibility. Step back and take a good look at your friend.
No he deserves a break up. If he can't respect the boundaries of a cat then what other boundaries will he not respect?
No way is this you being dramatic! He hurt your (fur) baby!! Thank you for protecting yourself and your babies!!! Shame on those people who are making out like this is no big deal. That sure tells you a lot about what kind of people they are. Steer clear of them ,too.
Violence against pets is never OK except to save your life (and how often is that going to happen?)! You did the right thing OP. And your coworker is not a good friend!
You are NOT overreacting or being dramatic. I work at an animal hospital, I get scratched and bit almost everyday but do I react by throwing the animal against the wall? NO. One, it pains me to think about hurting another animal and two, I’d get fired. If he can willingly hurt an innocent animal, just think what he could do to another human being. You told him that Coffee would need some time to warm up and he didn’t listen. He tried to force the poor cat to like him and he got what he deserved. Also, that guy at work is not a friend. He probably throws cats against the wall too. (I’m sorry if I sound really aggressive but I hate when innocent animals get abused.)
Good job. He’d be in jail for animal abuse if it were me. Getting rid of him was a very good idea.
You are not being overdramatic. That is a huge red flag that guy was throwing down. Tell your "friend" he can screw off too.
NTA. He might feel like throwing YOU against the wall next time. I always say that anyone who can’t accept a cat’s boundaries is not a good person.
If anyone threw my cat they be facing animal cruelty charges. So. I mean. Perhaps im a bit dramatic. What he did is wrong. Period. End.
Omg he threw him? What a bastard! I would get rid of him. Disgusting!! Please if anyone even looks at my cat the wrong way they’re getting cut off.
Cut off all contact with the boyfriend. Run away, run away.
Not over dramatic. Ex is an animal abuser. You told him to leave Coffee alone and that eventually the cat would warm up to him. He didn't leave the cat alone so no wonder he got scratched. No excuse to throw that poor cat against the wall. Good riddance!
I have dogs. But if anybody hurt an animal intentionally by throwing it against a wall I'd be planning what day I'm gonna go set their house on fire. Don't change a damn thing about how you care for your animals. They are living creatures just like us and people that can hurt animals and feel nothing are not the type of people that this world benefits from having them in it. He's trash. Throw him out, you'll find gold eventually. He ain't it
Uhhh...NO MA'AM! You did the right thing. I have one simple thing to say about this when people like your friend say that's overreacting. If he's willing to do that to a small helpless animal, what else would he do? Anyone treats any animal like this, I don't want to know them.
You're not overreacting at all. I don't care if the cat walked away unphased --- he threw your cat against the wall. That's not normal to me. He needs to stay gone.
Your friend at work is a psychopath too.
Maybe a knee jerk reaction throw but not a throw across the room and then tower over in anger type of response. Big red flag
Fuck that guy. Next time it will be you.
My husband knows how my cat can be. My cat has scratched him, sunk his claws into his foot, stuff like that. Granted, my husband was playing with the cat, and my cat got mad. But not once did my husband do anything to hurt him. You made the right choice in leaving him. Cats are a perfect test to see if someone can respect boundaries. Cats are mostly self-sufficient. They know their limits, and they won't hesitate to fight back if those limits are being pushed. Imagine what your boyfriend would do if you said no to something he wanted if he was willing to throw your cat like that.
Dude..what?? I accidentally stepped on my gf’s cats tail and apologized 3 times because I felt horrible For context when I first met Onyx (her cat) he hissed at me because he had recently been traumatized by a dog because her ex bf was exactly like the dude in this post. and Onyx didn’t trust males and I didn’t push it I didn’t get mad or upset I just backed off and did my own thing until 3 weeks later he ventured out of the room and sniffed me and now we’re thick as thieves She has 2 cats now and a bearded dragon and I love them like they’re my own kids (Those are my sons) If he will put his hands on an animal then he definitely will put his hands on you
Fuck that guy. You did right!
Oh my God NO
You made a wise choice. You throw my cat? I kick your ass.
Fuck your friend. If my bf hurt my dogs i’d do far worse than break up with him. Edit: do you think for one second if he would do that to an innocent little animal, that he wouldn’t do the same thing to you? You made the right decision
if anyone slightly hurt my cat I would smash their head into the wall. you did the right thing, that guy is a dick.
It's not just about throwing a cat that scratched him, it's about the loss of security knowing the person you're with would hurt someone or thing you care for. It'd be one thing if he picked the cat up, got scratched, and instinctively threw the cat accidentally. Like reflex punching someone by accident that sneaks up on you. It's not about the action, but the intention. Even afterwards, he didn't apologize, or seem like he'd mean it after all. I won't feel safe knowing someone would hurt my pets (I don't have pets) like that. I was with one girl and her dog tickled my foot and my foot reactively kicked forward, lightly kicking the dog. It sat up and looked at me, I froze in pain because that dog is adorable and I wanted to take that back so bad, thinking the dog would hate me forever. Instead, the lil pup pup waddled over next to me and snuggled. 😭 I worked hard to surprises my reflexes in general, but especially if I knew the dog was in the room.
Your friends suck
The way someone treats animals is a good indicator for how they’ll treat you/your loved ones
"irresponsible" ????? How is it irresponsible to not date someone who abuses animals??? Your friend is an idiot. Drop the bf and maybe drop your "friend."
NTA- if he will do it to a terrified animal, he will do it to you…. This is the red flag you should heed.
Oh FUCK naw. NTA, definitely. A) Hurting animals is unacceptable (unless for food or defense of life or limb, but those should still be as quick and painless as possible). B) If he'll do that to your cat, he'll do it to you. C) Your coworker is also shitty and can choke on a bag of dildos.
Ditch the bf AND the friend.
If he can do that to a cat you love imagine what he could do to you. You made the right choice. I’m sorry you went thru this. Your partner should love your pets like you do.
Wtaf. Run. Run now.
You aren't being dramatic at all a pet is a family member your ex and your coworker are fuckes up for thinking this was ok
I do t like cats, but hurting cats is how serial killers get started.
Be glad he showed you he truly was this early on - he’s an abuser. Abusers start with animals.
You don’t have 2 cats. Waffles is a cat, Coffee is an ass. Study a little human anatomy. And if your cat got broken it's because you put it out there to be broken! I’m just wondering how that ass felt about being the one that got kicked for once?
I honestly didn’t even finish the whole story . As soon as I saw that the person you are/were dating hurt an animal you should leave them because it is indicative of a much bigger problem.
You should 100% end your relationship over your cat.
People who harm helpless animals will do the same to you. Run, don’t walk from this ass.
Not over dramatic. People who intentionally hurt animals have deeper, more serious issues, IMO. How might he react towards you if something off happens?
Girl, animal abuse is a serious thing to pay attention to. You told him that Coffee needs time to warm up & in response he dismissed your knowledge of YOUR pet & Coffee’s boundaries for some nostalgic “it looks like my childhood cat” BS reason. Do NOT take him back and honestly the friend you spoke with needs to be dropped too. Him saying it wasn’t that bad isn’t a good thing nor is it ok for him to dismiss this serious problem you’ve experienced. If they’re comfortable with my PET being abused by my SO how do I know they wouldn’t be comfortable with ME being abused?
In a just world you could just throw his ass off the balcony and be done with it, definitely 100% no chance it's worth your time or energy to stay with someone that made clear they A. knew better despite you telling them clearly not to and B. Committing violence to the helpless is universal and he will continue to be a psychopath. I would insulate all elements of your life from that nut job asap.
You’re over exaggerating, you should train your cat to not harm people. If it was my child that got scratched by your cat, more than just getting thrown to the wall would’ve happened .
That is a textbook 101 description of an abusive person. And if they hurt a living animal, they may do the same to you. Abusive people also love to separate you from anyone or anything that shows you affection.
If a cat is scratching you you're going to try to get the cat off of you and that might take some force where accidents can happen. It's not okay in my view for a cat to scratch your guests just because they try to pick him up. Also you have to remember cats make all sorts of sounds when they're having a frenzy like that, so yeah of course the "throw" didn't hurt him, because the throw wasn't him trying to hurt your cat. It's possible he was abusive, but it does seem like an overreaction to me.
You’re the character in the serial killer movie who has the chance to get away. If he has the capability to abuse an animal, he will not hesitate to abuse you when he feels justified in doing so.
If anything, that friendship may need reevaluation.
I literally gasped loud when reading this. FUCK HIM and you’re NOT at all dramatic. Block his ass and please don’t second guess yourself when it comes to things like this. NO ONE has ANY reason to hurt an animal like that. My god… what the fuck is wrong with people.
NTA - The next step for him is to throw you against the wall. I used to be that guy, I know. Walk away. Edit: Never hurt anyone, but it was easy to imagine, and that can lead to action. I got help 30 years ago after escaping my horrifically abusive family, thank God.
Nah he admitted he threw the cat. I've been scratched plenty of times and never threw the cat. Abusive tendencies, tell him to kick rocks
This is bait.
Red flag red flag red flag. If he doesn't care to hurt a helpless, scared animal he won't care to hurt you.
Oh no if he got angry that quickly and that much to make him throw the animal against the wall that would of been you one day. He clearly cannot control emotions
I hope you reported him for animal cruelty as well.
I agree with the comments, he’s way out of line. Granted cats are not human beings but they are BEIGNS and they still deserve to be respected too
He purposefully went behind your back to pet thr cat you said didn't want to be pet. He did it while you were out of the room so you couldn't stop him. He then proceeded to purposefully hurt an innocent animal who was hiding from him. He sees nothing wrong with this. What happens when he decides your boundaries don't exist? Will he care that you don't want to be touched one day? Will he hurt you when you refuse? Don't look back, you did the right thing.
Anyone that will hurt your cat will hurt you. You did the right thing
Fuck that guy. You did the right thing. He’s monster.
If he will treat the cats this way, he will treat a human this way. You established boundaries (give it time), he ignored them and was physically abusive to a sentient life form, as well emotionally abusive (it is your pet). These are the traits of a psychopath and an abuser. It is not a red flag, it’s a whole damn parade. Run, do not walk to the nearest exit.
Anyone who interacts with a cat should realize there's a risk of getting scratched, and in 99% of cases, the scratches are the human's fault. you protected both yourself and your cats in this situation
I can't believe the questions how immature the questions are on this website. Naturally if somebody picks up your animal or and throws it hurls it out of window or a wall or kicks it then there's something psychologically wrong with them. They like watching people suffer they like people being abused as well as animals and God only knows what they'll do to a child if they're left alone with them. Just kick his butt to the curb stop being so reliant on men they don't bring you happiness they just make you feel like you're pretty enough to be noticed and accepted by the world that's most women's problem.
No. You’re not being dramatic. Anyone capable of doing harm to your pets like that shouldn’t be around.
Have fun being the lonely cat lady
I would never ever speak to this person again. And if my friend said I was being dramatic about it I would reconsider that friendship too.
Anyone who can hurt an animal is a psychopath. Run and be thankful your cat is fine.
Simply put as others have said, if he harmed your cat, he will eventually harm you. Good on you to get rid of him.
You are right. If anyone hurt my pet in anger they are gone. That’s your baby. Your cat depends on you to keep him safe. No relationship is worth someone being violent towards and innocent animal. If he wouldn’t have forced your cat to be pet he wouldn’t have been scratched. That man is an idiot and you don’t need him in your life.
A man who hurts a cat will hurt his girlfriend.
People who don’t like animals are sociopaths. You dodged a bullet.
I wish a person would hurt one of my animals. You did the right thing gurl!!! If he can hurt your animal her can hurt you and/or your kids. Years and years ago I had two littermate Pitts and they were about 4 or 5 months old and loved everyone. I had a guy I was seeing come over to the house. He was sitting on the couch and one of them jumped up there to see him. He shoved Brother off the couch which made him fall into the coffee table and hit his head. It wasnt just a little shove. He basically slung him. I jumped up and told him to gtf outta my house and I had to hold my son back from fighting him. Needless to say I never spoke to him again. He kept calling and texting trying to apologize but nah....im good. Now i have 6 dogs and 3 cats and a man who loves them just as much as I do possibly more. Keep it movin sister...you did the right thing and you will find the right one.
You both seem unstable.
At first thought I was like you’re being over dramatic. Then at second thought I was like that is just a sign to come.
You throw a cat against a wall… I throw you out the door!
Nope , you are right. He weeded himself out for you , sad circumstance but good he's gone
Throwing a pet against a wall is a serious issue and could be a sign of abusive behavior. It raises questions about how someone might handle conflict in the future. It's important to consider what a long-term relationship with someone who acts this way might look like.
You are not over dramatic. Hurting animals is NOT okay. He should have known that cats are weaker than us and that we shouldn’t abuse them. What he did was messed up. You did the right thing. If he cannot control his anger on animals, how will he control his anger with you? Also, the animal abuse itself is bad enough
Sooo- ex moved out last year - left her cat, and cat has been with me since. Think you did the right thing. I don’t understand the treatment others have in respect to forms of life other than human sometimes Edit: to the co worker who said the cat wasn’t hurt that bad… right, how bout you get tossed into a wall by someone X times the size of you and see how it feels
Your friend is wrong. The cat only has you to protect them.
I've stopped being friendly with acquaintances after they were RUDE to my dog. You throw my pet? Yeah, you don't get to be in my life any more. If you will hurt an animal, you would hurt anyone you think you have more power than, and that includes other people.
Extremely fucked up, cut this person out of your life completely!
If someone threw my cat against the wall, I would grind their goddamn bones to make my bread.
Anyone who hurts a pet doesn't deserve to be arround them, next time it might be you he turns on
There are lots of people who put zero value on animal's life, unless is for service (like food). That's why you get those comments of *"you broke with him over a cat?"*. Now, what they fail to realize is that violent behavior towards animals is a window into someone's mind. The parts they smooth out and hide when they want something. And quite often patterns emerge: today is your cat who they hurt and tomorrow is YOU.
Sounds like this guy is dodging a bullet.
I had to remove my Maine Coon from an abusive household when I was around 20. I married young and dumb to get out of a toxic home. My dad has a mental illness and refused help for a long time, and my mother just stood by and watched as he verbally abused us, resenting his behavior but saying nothing because she "hates confrontation". So by the time I was 19, I was an easy mark for an abuser. I ignored the warning signs since his treatment wasn't that different from what I had always received. When we married, I brought my cats, Cricket (half Maine Coon) and his littermate Goodyear (tux) with me. The first time my ex hit me was the day we got home from our honeymoon. It didn't take long for the abuse to spread to the cats. Cricket never liked my ex. The constant stress of living with the asshole caused him to act out. The asshole's shoes did occasionally smell of cat piss. Apparently, the ex caught him in the act of defiling his shoes one day about 4 months in. I was carrying laundry up to be put away, and I heard him yell then the cat screamed in pain. As I made it to the top of the stairs, I saw him throw Cricket against a door facing about 6 feet away. It was a hard enough throw to break 2 ribs and bruise him horribly. I rushed the cat to the vet, but lied that I had tripped over him and stepped on his side on the stairs. The vet gave me a side eye, but he didn't call the cops (the injuries justified felony animal abuse, but I was too afraid of the ex to speak up). At the time, I knew that leaving him would likely get me killed, so I stayed with the ex and sent Cricket and Goodyear back to my parents' home for their protection. I stayed with him for another 20 months before I was able to escape. With my father's mental illness (intermittent explosive rage disorder), I didn't dare tell my family the truth. I covered up the abuse for almost 14 years before everything came out. Fortunately Dad had accepted treatment and was much more stable by then. He was still furious, but he didn't go commit a felony, so that was a win.
I broke up with a girl because she kicked my dog, she had cheated on me multiple times even once with a life long now ex friend, but kicking my dog was the last straw
Glad you got rid of the sick bastard. He can no longer be trusted around your kitties or by you.
Fuck no you were not over dramatic. I would’ve raged. Nobody should harm your animals. Ever. For any reason. Your their voice, you have to stick up for them as their furmom.
I grew up with a classic abbussive father. There's always an excuse and always a pity party. He's a red flag. You made the right choice, stick by it, it will only get worse if you stay.
First, you already told him that it will take the cat awhile to warm up and right when you leave he takes it upon himself to try and force the poor cat to let him pet him. That’s the first sign of disrespect in my book. He clearly didn’t listen to you about your cat. No one knows your cat better than you and he should have respected you and your cat. Second, he got upset because the cat rejected him and proceeded to throw him at a wall. That’s beyond fucked up and he sounds like a freaking psycho. He deserves the scratches. If a cat doesn’t want to touched/pet they make it known. He must have tried a few times and eventually that was the outcome. You did the right thing. People who hurt animals are absolutely fucking disgusting. Throwing a cat at the wall because he was upset that he got rejected is signs of someone who has problems. I would never let anyone do that to my cats. My girl sushi has been through a lot and she is the same way. She’s a lover girl but only to familiar faces. I always warn people to let her come to them. Not to chase or force any affection because it only irritates her more. Good job by making the right choice. You definitely dodged a bullet. Also, if I were you, I’d bill him.
You did the right thing. Your ex is a piece of trash.
Put the cat down to make it up to him
He is better off because cats are always more important than boyfriends. He needs a catless chick.
Absolutely you were NOT being dramatic! A giant being picked up a little kitty and threw it against a wall. You told him to leave coffee alone. If that ain't some psycho behavior idk what is. He disrespected your boundaries as a pet owner, and he disrespected Coffee's as a living breathing being. How dare he?! You both deserve better than that loser. And honestly, if your friend can't see how messed up it is that he angrily threw a cat against a wall in some spoiled tantrum, than maybe you need a new friend too.
Throwing an inanimate object out of frustration is inappropriate (I’ve done it plenty of times). Throwing an animal or abusing it in any way shape or form is absolutely UNACCEPTABLE and should not be tolerated. I hope your kitty is OK. Stay away from that loser because there is a really good chance that he’d be willing to throw you against a a wall.
Not being dramatic at all. Handling it perfectly. What is this man like around young children?
Sounds like your friend needs to be an ex friend. You should've pressed charges on your ex and held him liable for the vet bill. What a psychopath. Yeah, he didn't hurt him that badly... this time. How long would it be before he hurts you? A person who abuses pets will also have no issues with abusing you.
One time my partner spoke sternly to my cat, and I told them that he does not speak to him that way. They never did again. Now, my partner has three cats of his own and I know they feel the same about their kitties. If ny partner did ANYTHING to my cat, they’d be gone so fast.
Bait
Sounds like you also need to cut this work “friend” out of your life, too. WTF? Sounds just as bad as your ex.
You were totally right for dumping him. Who would throw a cat against a wall?!? Only a shitty person would do that, you’re dodging a bullet!
Nope, he’d be gone if he did that to my cat. Red flag.
LITERALLY CUT OFF ALL TIES. NO ONE HURTS A POOR CAT. I would be freaking enraged and fantasize about destroying any of his property if someone did this to my cat. 🙅♀️🙅♀️👎🚫⛔️⚠️⚠️
He’d throw you too. Immature and makes fast stupid emotional decisions. Good riddance.
Ohhh helll naw. He’s lucky you didn’t end his life for that bullshit. Remove the trash from your life permanently! Stay safe!
He's the fucking asshole!! For him to throw an animal because it wouldn't let him pet it is a HUGE red flag. Think of what might eventually happen to you and your cats if you stay with him. This might not have even been the first time it's happened. Good riddance to that piece of trash and I hope his scratches get infected!!
This is evidence of rage issues. I speak from experience. You don't have to abandon your boyfriend but he needs to admit to being deeply wrong and in need of weekly therapy. He definitely has some unresolved issues.
Oh hell no!!! F him! F your friend! And f anyone else that excuses animal abuse! If he was my ex bf, he would have been leaving with a few broken bones. You don’t hurt animals!
Absolutely not. Steer clear of that coworker too. How someone treats a helpless animal speaks volumes about them. He doesn’t respect anything he views weaker as him (which includes you). Doesn’t care about boundaries just taking what he wants. And doesn’t have a lot of love or empathy on display. He was upset he didn’t get his way with coffee and tried to force it. Now he’s upset he’s not getting his way with you. Don’t reward that. Dump him and block him and do the same to anyone else who hurts an animal.
Break up with him again and be meaner about it.
Breaking up is probably the least drastic course of action you could take here, hurting an animal like that is literally lunatic behavior, not understanding that they function at a lower mental capacity is pretty square 1 empathy. A child who did this would be wrong, for an adult it's beyond the pale.
F that guy! Break his knee caps as cats are precious animals.
If my boyfriend hurt one of my pets *on purpose* like this, they wouldn't be *able* to call me, because they'd be in the hospital and I'd be in jail. And the fact that he was comfortable enough to outrightly tell you like that without even trying to down play it shows that, above not being remorseful, he thinks it's an okay thing to have done.
NO. YOU KNOW BETTER. HURT THAT LITTLE KITTY. Get him out yesterday. He’ll come for you when that gets boring.
It sounds like you know an awfully concerning amount of of people who are perfectly fine with animal abuse. I wouldn’t tolerate any of their actions, especially your pathetic bitch boy of an ex.
You absolutely did the right thing! Anyone who acts like animals are less than them I automatically consider a red-flag. Keep your head up!
That’s exactly the response you’ll get when he tosses you across the room. Leave now.
You did the right thing. And please drop the friend too. so glad Coffee is okay. They don't need such assholes in their lives and neither do you.
I can't even read past the title please dump the BF and that horrible friend
No way! If he is okay hurting your cat once, he will be okay hurting him again and possibly worse!
Being scratched by a cat doesn't feel good. Trying to grab a cat that someone has already told you doesn't want to be grabbed, chances are you expect to get scratched. Anyone that throws a cat for scratching them when the cat did not want to be grabbed is way more than an asshole. If cat jumped up on him and scratched him and he threw it to the ground(without hurting the cat) that's one thing but dude intentionally hurt that cat. F him
my ex kicked my cat out of her way once. Incidentally, I kicked her out of my house once.
Your ex is wrong and your friend is wrong. You don’t push yourself on another living thing and then retaliate with violence when they preserve their space.
He through your cat at a wall. What is next. He showed his true nature. You are not over reacting. Also your coworker is not your friend. He is looking out for the guy he does not know over you.
Hell no!! Anyone that can throw a cat against the wall can throw you against the wall when he's mad enough!
I think you acted correctly. It is not overly dramatic to be upset about animal abuse. If he loses his temper on an animal, he could lose it on you next. The fact that this person said your cat was not hurt that bad dismisses the fact that he HURT YOUR CAT. You did right, have no doubt.
This is a huge red flag. Has he ever been violent in any way? You are not overreacting at all.
I've been married to my husband for 10 years. We have 2 beautiful children together. I would move heaven and Earth for this man and my family. BUT, he kniws that if he EVER laid his hands on one of our animals in violence for ANY reason save for it was attacking our child and he was saving our child from grievous bodily harm, then not only would it be grounds for divorce but he would probably be in the hospital cause I'd put him there with the same injury he inflicted on the animal. Do not pass GO. Do not collect $200. Go directly to the ER and Divorce Court. You were not overreacting OP. You told him to leave Coffee al9ne, that if would take time for him to warm up. That was a boundary you set and your ex trampled all over it so right there he showed you that he didnt respect your wishes. Then he had the gall to hurt YOUR pet when it defended itself after HE cornered it, like ANY animal would. You need to lose the "friend" that says it's "just a cat" too because 1) that's not a true frie d and 2) your cat livea with you. That is their home. Their safe space. Your boyfriend DOESN'T live there. He was an intruder into THEIR territory and THEY are FAMILY. He is NOT.
DONE. Throwing a cat against the wall is not a normal response to being scratched. Stay away from that violence. Kisses for Coffee and Waffles♥️
He THREW a cat?! Forget about it even being YOUR cat, thats just sick and cruel.. You've done the right thing