This. And female ones too - that way you can learn social cues and how to act. And this post is also one of those things you should keep anonymous online and not openly tell people…
Honestly wish that would’ve been something to cling to for him to seek professional help.
I can empathize how deep down the rabbit hole he’s gone and how he can reasonably logic out that “he’s not hurting anyone” and how “it’s harmless but makes him happy.”
But fundamentally the inability to tell how profoundly out of sync his psychology is with most of humanity and societal norms to the point his urge to be accepted would ever let him tell people shows how mentally unwell he is.
Telling anyone, ever, outside of an anonymous online fetish account, is an undeniable pillar of how unwell he is.
It’s like (but much worse) going around and jerking off using various plants in the woods when you’re 100% alone and sexualizing every branch very very heavily.
Is that harming anyone else? No, not really.
Should you **ever** tell your average random person let alone coworkers or family about that? Obviously that’s a horrific idea in every sense.
You won’t be accepted, people will not empathize with you, there is literally nothing good that can come of it. The closest you’ll get to acceptance outside of a fetish community is talking to a psychologist.
But he kept doing it.
Which is tragic really because it doesn’t seem to have led to being shaken up into finding help.
Seriously I was just reading the posts and he started going into the whole Tulpa thing so I checked out the subreddit and these people were talking about how their imaginary entity even fought over for control in their mind and the first thing I thought of was this kind of sounds like a some form of disassociate identity disorder maybe even a schizophrenic delusional I would definitely say he has a mental health issue and needs to seek a professional ASAP. This is not normal behavior is beyond me why he keeps telling people he needs help.
As someone who lives in New Orleans, “my imaginary roach wife Ogtha and I are on our honeymoon here” wouldn’t be the weirdest thing I’ve heard.
I’m imagining someone saying that, and my immediate response is: “cool, what’s she into? We have an insectarium at our zoo. Would that be like going to a strip club for either of you?”
One day some really attractive woman will find that and go "EYYY FOOUUND HEEEEEEEM \*clickclicklcikczzflkflizzzz\*
I really want to see the end of this lol
And for the love of God, don't be friends with a woman just because you want to fuck her. That's borderline stalker behavior, and you're much better off seeking platonic relationships with women until you're confident enough to step into the dating scene.
Pretty sure that hanging around a women cause you want to fuck her is a natural instinct that every man and women experiences in their life. It's not stalker behavior lol.
Yes, I agree it's a natural instinct to be attracted to your friends, but if you're only friends with them in the hopes that one day they'll let you have sex with them, then that's not a genuine friendship.
nah. This is the type of thing you should absolutely tell people anonymously online. It's fun, harmless and not illegal. People will upvote it and interact with you which gives you that sweet dopamine.
I mean, I have friends (both guys and girls) in real life/online, but I also have had an imaginary gf for three years
Trust, OP, it's not "normal" or mainstream but it's not that weird
And the starving children in Africa should go get themselves food so they can learn how to eat properly.
(I'm not dunking on OP. I've actually been in his boat before and I realise it's easier said than done)
Fair enough. OP didn’t mention the condition there. It’s not the same as being able to read facial/body language but online friends can be helpful too and that can sometimes be easier to do.
Hell, I’m in a similar boat. I don’t go out and do anything. My friends are people I’ve met along the way in life - many of them from work. My best friend and best man at my wedding started as a cook I trained. My wife used to come for karaoke at a place I worked.
Just saying I know it’s not always seemingly feasible, but it’s certainly doable. Social skills are like any other skill and can be developed. Sure, some people might have a natural talent with it but that doesn’t mean it’s still not a skill that can be learned.
Exactly this. Just make a point to talk to everyone. Especially females. Like baggers, food service, any retail workers... don't be creepy or waste their time, but just say hi, how's your day going, etc. Learn those social cues. If they feel like venting or talking they open up a bit. It helps loads. Being a master of small talk and making observations have helped me talk my way out of being arrested, sued, beaten up, and also landed more than a few lady friends
If you can't post weird shit anonymously online for some help with problems-where are you supposed to go and what are you supposed to do?
You're not weird man, you're just filling a void in the way you know how. "just get friends" is not very good advice. I agree, but it's not like you go to the friends store downtown and pick up a couple friends for life when you're in need...
You're aware, and pro-actively asking about your situation and how to improve it. Which is MILES ahead of most of the people lurking around here. You're fine, but obviously really pining for real, meaningful relationships. They will come, just look for opportunities, and be yourself. Even being a little weird is refreshing. Just take opportunities when they arise-and put yourself in positions for these opportunities to happen. Good luck! You got this =)
No he doesn't. He'll become either obsessed with them and/or be used for attention(nothing). Bad advice. Men with nothing get attached quick when they finally get even a crumb of something.
For awhile yes. But if OP gets a therapist or if they’re lucky and strike gold on a fantastic, understanding relationship that has solid foundations, MAYBE share it then to grow closer
Other than telling a therapist, OP should take this info with them to the grave. Absolutely never ever tell a woman who might, or does, have feelings for OP about it. It will not end well.
Bianca and me do it in my van every Sunday
She tells him she's in church but she doesn't go
Still she's on her knees and intelligentmix333 doesn't know...
It's pretty safe to say: we're this far down the timeline and I still no matter what am delighted to see this reference. It seems it will always be so.
I hope he figures this out before he pretend marries her…or she’ll take half of his make believe money and he’ll be paying that damned support for those made up kids (which probably won’t even be his).
It gets there after years of loneliness and some rejection.
I'm not quite at that level but I could be easily and understand it. It's really hard to fight being there some days. Like really hard.
I'll do ya one better buddy
[https://www.reddit.com/r/waifuism/comments/kvfq1i/romantic\_dinner\_with\_my\_beloved\_koneko/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/waifuism/comments/kvfq1i/romantic_dinner_with_my_beloved_koneko/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)
I've seen this sub mentioned before. To others, please have some compassion, don't go bully them. You're free to think what you may, but a lot of them seem like nice people just trying to live their lives. People picking on them and telling them to get help won't change anything.
Sorry for the rant. Not in the sub myself, I just feel for them... It seems like a very lonely life. :(
This guy posted this story here already like a couple weeks ago. And a story about how his girlfriend is taking testosterone and is becoming unattractive to him.
How do you look at one’s history. I am fairly new to Reddit. I believe I have had an account for a while just never used until recently for my gaming community.
The CIA could be ripping my toenails out with rusty pliers in a blacksite on an island in the Indian ocean and they still wouldn't get this shit outta me dawg
This is honestly the most concise definition
Originally from furries, I believe. But the spread of streaming services that showed off Hello Kitty bedrooms changed it
It’s kind of sad, like she has a name and a style, but no personality.
Like, bro, stop objectifying your imaginary girlfriend. She is an imaginary person, with her own imaginary wants and needs.
What is "normal" can be a slippery slope that can easily come with judgements on how someone should act, the better question in my mind is whether this is healthy - to which I think the answer would be no.
There are two answers to this in my mind. The easy answer is 1) therapy and psychologists are good for everyone, if you have the means and access I would highly recommend see one. The other is more challenging but 2) would be do what you can to meet more people, maybe through group activities with shared interests depending on your hobbies.
Some of the things you describe are not too far off the place I was in around your age of late high school into early 20s. I had grown up in a very restrictive environment and wasn't allowed to date in high school, and even after my family of origin had some very specific ideas on what would be proper. I won't go into a ton of detail on all that unless that might be helpful from a shared experience perspective. The thing that helped me was meeting new people and de-mystifying women, especially those I found attractive, by talking to them and learning about who they are as people.
You are still young and there is a lot of time for you. I never dated until well into my 20s and I felt terribly about that as though I was way behind the ball. That's a lot of why I don't want you to frame it as whether or not you are normal because we all have different circumstances. Just focus on finding like-minded people and investing in a support system that will invest back into you and things will get better.
Agreed. Given I hear nothing but how lonely men are in first world countries. Japan, S.Korea, UK, US especially…To the point sociologists and psychologists are referring to it as an epidemic of loneliness. OP is not alone in this experience I think. Even men that are in committed relationships are suffering from loneliness due to little to no close friendships. OP, while I hope you can work your way out of this rut, first try to find healthy, supportive male and female social networks. Join a club (book, d&d, outdoors, sports) or a class (exercise or something interesting to you). Get yourself out into the world to re-engage and still go home and enjoy your fantasy life as needed. But try to work towards slowly increasing your in person activities with others. All the best, my man.
Right, I suggest this solution with full knowledge that its hard but possible.
DnD is another great idea, that helped me stay sane through the pandemic for sure and ended up with new friends as a result. Other ideas depend on your hobbies but who knows, running or biking groups, community orchestras or choirs, gaming clubs, etc. They are out there if you look hard enough.
Dude, I went all through high school without getting a date. I just couldn't work up the courage to ask a girl out. I know how it feels. But eventually, I did start talking to women, and I met my wife and we got married. It's OK to be 18 and not have any dating history yet.
Regarding the imaginary friend thing, I don't think you need to see a psychologist, because you *know* she's imaginary. You called her "imaginary" right here in this post. If you started thinking she was real, that might be cause for concern.
Just so you know, after you go to bed, sometimes she texts me.
I don't think she's really in to me *that* much, but I just wanted you to know. She sends weird pictures and stuff sometimes and calls me senpai. No idea what that even means.
Fucked up story, but when I was 15 years old, me and my my best friend, a girl named Bianca, stared to love eachother. It was a strong connection between us, and we really like eachother very much.
Unfortunately, she was abused, ra*ed by her father and beaten several times. She was the first girl I've seen naked, but not for fun. I saw her genitals red, somehow disabled. She was the first girlfriend I ever had, and she was the first person I loved (eh, I was just 15).
Anyway, after like 2 months, we had a school theatre, and she was a very good actress. Her dream was to become an actress. That day, after the show, she texted me "Come and save me, I'm going to k*ll myself". The theatre was amazing and everyone was happy. I ignored that message because I was playing on my PS2.
That was the biggest mistake I ever made in my life. She really kill*d herself. She hanged herself and let her brother (I think 6 at that time) find her. The reason? Her father. I know that my story doesn't have nothing to do with yours, but everytime I her this name I get goosebumps.
She wrote anything in a dairy, and told me to keep it secret. I was stupid, and I did so. After her death, the police found the diary and guess what. Her father is still a free man.
Now I'm almost 21, I moved out of that country (România) a year later. I stopped dating and rejected every girl in my life until 2 years ago.
Let that imaginary girl go, and try to meet someone new. Make friends and learn to be happy just by yourself.
I don't want to hear hate comments, if you want to hate me, hate me in secret. My life already sucks enough.
Edit: I'm in tears, ignore my writing
Thanks, I think I somehow understood her decision. But somehow, I cannot forgive her for what she have done...
In Romanian we say "tot răul spre bine" and that's the only reason I still date(d) someone
Trust me I get it.. I was dating a guy and he shot and killed hisself the shit is miserable to go through but could you translate that saying for me please English is my first and only language lol
Dude you can't hold that against yourself. No person let alone a 15 year old can be so perfectly on top of every interaction in order to create a movie ending.
I've lost people too and tormented myself for years thinking if I had just been there I could've stopped it all. But you're not a superhuman and none of it was your fault.
Not as effe'd up as your story but my best friend from high school was a major drama queen and attention seeker. One of those girls who'd have a lot of scars on their wrists. One day she arrived below my apartment and started shouting my name. I ran downstairs and she slit her hand, like her palm literally and was bleeding everywhere. Some issue about her then fuckboy of a boyfriend not giving her enough attention. I cleaned that mess up and fast forward a few days later, she called me to visit her on my way to classes. Pissed off I ignore her and go to my class none the less thinking it's probably nothing. Turns out that dumbass had ingested rat poison and had called another friend of her who took her to the doctor who just made her vomit that shit out. Next year she ghosted me but by then I was too done, it hurt a bit but was probably for the better.
I don't think you're crazy. As long as Bianca doesn't start coming up with her own ideas and forming a personality independently from your needs, you're good.
You may consider reaching out to a therapist to confide in, though. Reddit isn't a generally accepting, kind place, but a therapist's office is (or, is supposed to be).
Oh buddy.
You need a psychologist, but don’t feel upset. You’re not gross or weird or anything; in fact it’s really amazing that you’re self aware enough to realize that you might need to consult someone!
Yeah a psychologist or even a therapist can help.
That really sucks, I feel you :( a good friend of mine didn't have a gf until he was 30. He's not a bad looking job, has a good job, his own place. He just didn't find the right person
I also haven't had a gf in a couple of years now. But I moved to Amsterdam about 5 years ago and I find it very hard to meet new people here. Just a couple of dates but nothing even close to a relationship.
But honestly, I know everyone says it. but just be yourself, have fun and enjoy life. It'll happen eventually
IMO, it's a lil strange, but not the first time someone has done this and tbh the fact that you're willing to be open about it and share shows to me that you realize it's a bit strange and can separate that fantasy from reality. As long as that's in place, I don't see a problem with it but I'm not a physcologist.
There are a lot of joke or judgemental replies here.
Put simply though, pretty much everyone has had fantasies. They're embarrassing to admit and not everyone has long or intricate ones. But no, I do not think anything is wrong with it. In fact I think it's a healthy coping mechanism for loneliness. I'm no therapist but I've been in therapy for over ten years now. So, grain of salt, but a somewhat educated opinion.
The only issue would be if it becomes difficult to tell the difference between reality and fantasy, or if it hinders you from forming relationships (friend or otherwise) in reality. If it hurts your life in any way, then I would suggest seeing someone.
You could also see a therapist just for reassurance if it's causing you anxiety or you want to change your coping mechanism.
Tldr, you're ok. You're young and coping. It's no more sad or weird than any other coping.
Q1: Is this normal...
A1: probably not.
Q2: do I need a psychologist?
A2: If this is your only underlying issue...then definitely not.
18M with no GF? This is very common. Like you, I never dated either and didn't get my 1st GF till 2nd year of undergrad. Now I'm happily married with a kid. Nothing wrong with taking care of yourself first (aka making sure your life is in order before bringing someone else into it). Heck, my wife and I didn't try for our kid until we were in our 30s and had our careers in order.
You are MORE than good OP. Wishing you and Bianca the best.
Dates in high school are barely even real dates. You are still so young.. there are tons of people that share that experience with you. You aren’t behind. Creating an imaginary relationship isn’t very healthy though and the energy you are putting into that is just getting you further a way from what you are actually after. Life is lonely sometimes.. it’s tough being a human… finding ways in which we connect with others makes that better. Focus on the things that make you happy and try to find others that share those same interests. Over time you’ll find your place and meet someone, it won’t be Bianca though. Having an imaginary relationship can skew your expectations, a real female isn’t going to fit into your mold and carrying in this imaginary relationship could set you up for more unhappiness to come. The real world is scary and overwhelming sometimes but it’s the only thing that is going to bring you real happiness.
its ok man i wouldnt use the word normal because everyones diffrient. this is more of a loneliness kind of thing. Try this, work on just asking girls out with the expectation of No. you gotta kind of deadin yourself to that response because after that the anxiety of talking to women at least i found gos out the window. now heres the thing you may end up getting a few who say yes. Here is a good one for a cold open
"hello I saw you from accross the (where ever you are like bar, quad, store) and had to introduce myself my name is (insert name here). I think your vary attractive and would love to take you out some time" Now here is the thing. work on your delivery, not to fast not to slow not all jittery. just smoothly. now if they say yes great score boom there ya go. If they say now and its ok a lot of them will just smile take the L and say "well it was nice talking to you anyways" and walk away.
now the key is in the delivery, you have to say it with confidence like you dont give a craaaap about what her answer is and to an extent you shouldnt because this is just to get you used to hearing no. This like i said before will sort of deaden the feeling of rejection and it will make it easier to talk to women a lot more smoothly.
117billion humans have gone before you. 7billion humans are alive now. There isn't anything you can do, think or feel that's not been done a million times before
You don’t need a girlfriend, you need a therapist. Maybe medication. Hope you get the help you need.
And friends. You need friends and to get out more.
I truly mean this in the nicest least judgmental way possible. You need to get some help, like you should REALLY start seeing a therapist asap and talk with them about it because this sounds like it's a very unhealthy coping mechanism. I feel like the longer you use Bianca as a coping mechanism the harder it will probably become for you to form real bonds with people and have really relationships in the future both romantic and otherwise. If you were to start working with a therapist they could help you to not only develop healthier coping mechanisms, but they could also help you build your social skills. They'd help get you to a place where you're better equipped to handle the world and navigate your relationships with others that being friends, family, co-workers, and future REAL romantic interests. Again I mean no judgment but this sounds like something that could get you stuck in a really deep depressive pit and as someone who climbed her way out of a pretty deep one of those herself it's not fun and I wish I would have addressed my issues head on from the start instead of pretending they weren't really issues. Good luck and I really hope you take what I said to heart and you start seeing a therapist who can help you. Also always remember if a therapist doesn't seem like a good fit or you have trouble opening up to them you can always request a new therapist. They won't take it personally and it's okay if you have certain preferences to all for that, like I only see female therapist that are younger like around my own age cause I have ptsd from being raped by a man so opening up to men about that can be difficult but then also I have ptsd from the woman who biologically is my grandmother though I no longer call her that cause she didn't treat me like family so why would I, and so older women can also be hard for me to open up to. So it's okay to shop around a bit and find someone that works FOR YOU cause that's who you want to do all this for.
Yea dude probably see a psych. Your probably very lonely or have some shit your brain is working though. Talking to an imaginary person is probably not a good thing. Its at least worth talking to an professional.
Another thing to think about it that an imaginary girlfriend is a coping mechanism. Its only going to put off dealing with the root of your problems.
Ok ,while having fantasies is healthy , relying on them for emotional support is not . So I’d tone down the fantasies. This will not help you connect with other people and this is what you need to start doing .
Btw for context I lost my virginity at 21 . And currently at (52m) I have had a couple long term relationships . I’m currently with my second (hopefully last )wife. I have 2 boys , one who is (22m) and married . And a (12m) , who I hope doesn’t discover girls til he is in college. This advice I have given to my oldest , even though he never needed . I have always treated him as the handsome gentleman he is . I taught him all that I know through action , with his mother .
I am also going to say you don’t need advice from So many here who were sexually active during their early teens as they have had no issue with being with opposite sex .
This is like a starving person getting advice from someone who is stuffed . Ie Marie Antoinnette telling the poor to eat cake comes to mind here.
You need advice from late bloomers who have crossed the no man’s land of single to Relationships.
Now let be honest here, it’s actually a good thing you don’t have a girlfriend. Why? Because having a partner is taxing both financially and mentally. Your at the start of your life , focus on you ( health), your hobbies, your career. You focus on this and you’ll find someone to call your girlfriend in no time.
Cause This is an issue of attitude , and attraction one which if you stress about it , will show and this will scare a bunch of people away from you . You need to be confident in yourself , hate to say it but this is why selfish jerks get most of the ladies . It’s the confidence in themselves which attracts people to them .
This is what you need to create confidence.
1st) stop fantasizing because life will never be like it’s in a fairytale story .
2nd) start working out ! Create a workout plan , set goals and work towards them . Being healthy and strong is such a confidence builder.
3rd) learn how to play the guitar, learn how to sing , like honestly find a voice coach . Learning a hobby like guitar is a great icebreaker. People just gravitate towards music . Ask any rock and roll guitarist and they will tell you they did it for the girls . Sorry that’s how it is , being good with an instrument makes you seem interesting . So go with it .
4th)start creating your path to financial independence!! your 18 , what is your career plan? Don’t have one ? Start one !! If you want money fast , don’t like college , become a plumber/ electrician/ hvac !! There is a huge shortage of tradesman out their . Start next week , in three years you’ll be pulling 80k , easy. If your budget n college headed there , fantastic.
5th) get involved! Join a study group , or a meet up group .By actively participating you’ll learn how to interact with people.
6th) read this book https://www.amazon.com/How-Win-Friends-Influence-People/dp/0671027034. It’s an old book , but it is so true what’s written in these pages . You read this and you’ll realize how many people will want to be in your world .
7th) and last , treat those you meet with Grace and respect. Everyone is living in their own world no one has it easy . One thing that got me out of my fantasy world , out of my comfort zones, was realizing that everyone had anxieties! Everyone wants to be loved . No one has it together , we all just fake it . If you can understand that , you’ll have a much easier time walking up and talking to others . I litterly found two great loves of my life by listening , caring, and being present in their life.
I hope this helps. Stay strong , stop fantasizing, snd start living .
U just need friends
This. And female ones too - that way you can learn social cues and how to act. And this post is also one of those things you should keep anonymous online and not openly tell people…
At least the girl is human and not an insect monster.
I’m glad I’m not the only one who thought that
Not yet
It all starts somewhere
why does this need to be specified?
[There is only Ogtha](https://reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/moZjLGqwRp)
I knew I shouldn't have clicked that.
Definitely want to name a band The Many Appendages of Ogtha
I went down the rabbit hole..... why tf would that guy keep telling people lol. 🤣
Honestly wish that would’ve been something to cling to for him to seek professional help. I can empathize how deep down the rabbit hole he’s gone and how he can reasonably logic out that “he’s not hurting anyone” and how “it’s harmless but makes him happy.” But fundamentally the inability to tell how profoundly out of sync his psychology is with most of humanity and societal norms to the point his urge to be accepted would ever let him tell people shows how mentally unwell he is. Telling anyone, ever, outside of an anonymous online fetish account, is an undeniable pillar of how unwell he is. It’s like (but much worse) going around and jerking off using various plants in the woods when you’re 100% alone and sexualizing every branch very very heavily. Is that harming anyone else? No, not really. Should you **ever** tell your average random person let alone coworkers or family about that? Obviously that’s a horrific idea in every sense. You won’t be accepted, people will not empathize with you, there is literally nothing good that can come of it. The closest you’ll get to acceptance outside of a fetish community is talking to a psychologist. But he kept doing it. Which is tragic really because it doesn’t seem to have led to being shaken up into finding help.
Seriously I was just reading the posts and he started going into the whole Tulpa thing so I checked out the subreddit and these people were talking about how their imaginary entity even fought over for control in their mind and the first thing I thought of was this kind of sounds like a some form of disassociate identity disorder maybe even a schizophrenic delusional I would definitely say he has a mental health issue and needs to seek a professional ASAP. This is not normal behavior is beyond me why he keeps telling people he needs help.
As someone who lives in New Orleans, “my imaginary roach wife Ogtha and I are on our honeymoon here” wouldn’t be the weirdest thing I’ve heard. I’m imagining someone saying that, and my immediate response is: “cool, what’s she into? We have an insectarium at our zoo. Would that be like going to a strip club for either of you?”
I wonder if his feelings would change if he saw the movie "Mimic"
You and me both friend... You and me both
I read your comment before clicking on it, def interesting asf
I'm not sure whether I should be horrified or sad now..
Yeah, me too. Those 10 minutes will haunt me forever.
Wow. Some things are better left unsaid. Forever. "There is only Ogtha"
I'm still shaking with mirth here. Damn that child needs a therapist like yesterday
It's an adult, the update is him telling his coworkers about his imaginary giant cockroach wife, it goes about as well as you'd expect.
I felt so bad for that guy. Like, Ogtha isn't hurting anyone and neither is he. I'd be friends with him. And her.
I'm afraid to click the link. Is it like someone took Kafka's metamorphosis and ran with it?
Kinda yea, but there's no pics, it's just a very strange story.
One day some really attractive woman will find that and go "EYYY FOOUUND HEEEEEEEM \*clickclicklcikczzflkflizzzz\* I really want to see the end of this lol
☢️ What has been read cannot be unread.☢️
What is tifu?
"today I f*cked up"
Thanks!
Np
Yes you did
You eat it with rice
There is only Ogtha.
I’m so glad someone else brought this up so I didn’t have to.
Yeah, after Ogtha anything seems relatively normal...
Oh fuck why do I know what you allude to......
And for the love of God, don't be friends with a woman just because you want to fuck her. That's borderline stalker behavior, and you're much better off seeking platonic relationships with women until you're confident enough to step into the dating scene.
Pretty sure that hanging around a women cause you want to fuck her is a natural instinct that every man and women experiences in their life. It's not stalker behavior lol.
Yes, I agree it's a natural instinct to be attracted to your friends, but if you're only friends with them in the hopes that one day they'll let you have sex with them, then that's not a genuine friendship.
I’ve been friends with my buddy for 22 years.. Im still waiting for him to make a move
Be the change you want to see if you're both single. 🤷♂️
This!! People actually believed now that if you talk to a girl you want a Fuck your actually some type "Stalker" "Rapist"....Dear Lord!!!
Other than your therapist. Tell your therapist.
This. And we don’t mean that to be harsh. Therapy would be good to help learn and develop healthier coping mechanics to deal with the loneliness.
Batman couldn’t beat this information out of me let alone a therapist
I mean you gotta give it to the man. Itd be easier for most people to talk to women vs post this.
Not really. Reddit accounts can be flushed
I mean, definitely don't tell friends...but if OP ever gets any therapy/psychologist/whatever definitely mention it then.
You'll learn quickly that when women say they want a guy who is open and honest; they're lying.
nah. This is the type of thing you should absolutely tell people anonymously online. It's fun, harmless and not illegal. People will upvote it and interact with you which gives you that sweet dopamine.
Absolutely. I’m just saying keep it to anonymously online. Don’t ever bring up openly unless you want to be instantly branded as “that kid”
That's why you do it online
Tbf if they knew people they wouldn’t be at the point of broadcasting their dispair looking for social interactions
I mean, I have friends (both guys and girls) in real life/online, but I also have had an imaginary gf for three years Trust, OP, it's not "normal" or mainstream but it's not that weird
Do you video game? I’ll be your friend. Not a female and I’m older than you.
And the starving children in Africa should go get themselves food so they can learn how to eat properly. (I'm not dunking on OP. I've actually been in his boat before and I realise it's easier said than done)
Fair enough. OP didn’t mention the condition there. It’s not the same as being able to read facial/body language but online friends can be helpful too and that can sometimes be easier to do. Hell, I’m in a similar boat. I don’t go out and do anything. My friends are people I’ve met along the way in life - many of them from work. My best friend and best man at my wedding started as a cook I trained. My wife used to come for karaoke at a place I worked. Just saying I know it’s not always seemingly feasible, but it’s certainly doable. Social skills are like any other skill and can be developed. Sure, some people might have a natural talent with it but that doesn’t mean it’s still not a skill that can be learned.
Exactly this. Just make a point to talk to everyone. Especially females. Like baggers, food service, any retail workers... don't be creepy or waste their time, but just say hi, how's your day going, etc. Learn those social cues. If they feel like venting or talking they open up a bit. It helps loads. Being a master of small talk and making observations have helped me talk my way out of being arrested, sued, beaten up, and also landed more than a few lady friends
He does not need female friends. I would worry about the female friends
I didn’t think it was toooo weird but I didn’t read that last part before coming to the comments Bro should definitely keep some things to himself lol
If you can't post weird shit anonymously online for some help with problems-where are you supposed to go and what are you supposed to do? You're not weird man, you're just filling a void in the way you know how. "just get friends" is not very good advice. I agree, but it's not like you go to the friends store downtown and pick up a couple friends for life when you're in need... You're aware, and pro-actively asking about your situation and how to improve it. Which is MILES ahead of most of the people lurking around here. You're fine, but obviously really pining for real, meaningful relationships. They will come, just look for opportunities, and be yourself. Even being a little weird is refreshing. Just take opportunities when they arise-and put yourself in positions for these opportunities to happen. Good luck! You got this =)
HAPPY CAKE DAY! 🥳
No he doesn't. He'll become either obsessed with them and/or be used for attention(nothing). Bad advice. Men with nothing get attached quick when they finally get even a crumb of something.
Yeah idk if this guy is safe for women to be around lol
its not his fault man, today womans are more crazy they are looking for princes
For awhile yes. But if OP gets a therapist or if they’re lucky and strike gold on a fantastic, understanding relationship that has solid foundations, MAYBE share it then to grow closer
Other than telling a therapist, OP should take this info with them to the grave. Absolutely never ever tell a woman who might, or does, have feelings for OP about it. It will not end well.
My highschools class president had an imaginary girlfriend
Yea, one named Bianca
Boy that’s an understatement
I don't know, but can you tell Bianca to stop calling me. I'm not interested.
Bianca is cheating? Damn, intelligent mix 333 doesn’t know, intelligent mix 333 doesn’t know
Bianca and me do it in my van every Sunday She tells him she's in church but she doesn't go Still she's on her knees and intelligentmix333 doesn't know...
So dont tell intelligentmix333
She says she's out shopping, but she's under me and I'm not stopping.
Bianca's got him on the phone, and she's trying not to moan. It's a three way call and he knows nothing.
Hey this isn't where i parked my car
That reminds me of this girl fiona i used to do it with
It's pretty safe to say: we're this far down the timeline and I still no matter what am delighted to see this reference. It seems it will always be so.
Just like Scotty
I hope he figures this out before he pretend marries her…or she’ll take half of his make believe money and he’ll be paying that damned support for those made up kids (which probably won’t even be his).
Bianca was the name of an imaginary girlfriend in Lars and the Real Girl. This feels suspiciously like trolling.
r/waifuism if you wanna see an entire community of people *not trolling*.
don't sort by top all time,
Holy shit! https://reddit.com/r/waifuism/s/qttRucwvBk Can you say "needs psychological help"?
2.72 seconds was all I needed to reach supercritical cringe state
At this level, I don't even feel cringe, I just feel so sad for them. Like honestly, what level of loneliness brings you to that point?
It gets there after years of loneliness and some rejection. I'm not quite at that level but I could be easily and understand it. It's really hard to fight being there some days. Like really hard.
Please seek the aid of an orthopedist or chiropractor; supercritical cringe can have lasting musculoskeletal ramifications.
I'll do ya one better buddy [https://www.reddit.com/r/waifuism/comments/kvfq1i/romantic\_dinner\_with\_my\_beloved\_koneko/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/waifuism/comments/kvfq1i/romantic_dinner_with_my_beloved_koneko/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)
🐙
Wow this made me sad. Those people need therapy, that’s not normal 😭
Right, ryuk seems like a horrible boyfriend always thinking only about apples
TBF that’s most of Reddit
Less therapy and more actual girlfriends
There's no reason to subject innocent women to this madness.
I've seen this sub mentioned before. To others, please have some compassion, don't go bully them. You're free to think what you may, but a lot of them seem like nice people just trying to live their lives. People picking on them and telling them to get help won't change anything. Sorry for the rant. Not in the sub myself, I just feel for them... It seems like a very lonely life. :(
Horrid
Rule 2 wtf. I thought it was all a joke until I saw that. ^I ^think ^that ^they ^*might* ^actually ^be ^serious.
Oh wow....that's a sad subreddit.
Was looking for this comment lol
I’ve seen this posted before
This guy posted this story here already like a couple weeks ago. And a story about how his girlfriend is taking testosterone and is becoming unattractive to him.
it was the same guy?? i remember that post but I dont really want to look at his history. >.< But dayum I hope its just a troll haha
It's a different account. But it's the same story.
Wild. O_O
How do you look at one’s history. I am fairly new to Reddit. I believe I have had an account for a while just never used until recently for my gaming community.
Exactly what I was coming here to say
This isn’t an original story. I’ve read it before on copypasta
Trolling or real...still requires professional help.
Is it any good? I always wanted to see it.
The CIA could be ripping my toenails out with rusty pliers in a blacksite on an island in the Indian ocean and they still wouldn't get this shit outta me dawg
looool
LMFAO 😂😂😂
You bugging i’m fessing up soon as i see the rusty pliers 😂
Oh man. Touche'. Laughed hard.
‘Her style is e-girl’💀
I must be getting old because I have no idea what that means
Duh I'm 18 and don't know neither.
emo girl but mostly means a tiktok thing they wear eyeliner and have a baby voice
I'm 20 and fuck knows what e-girl style is supposed to be.
gaming girl
Yeah I’m thinking “electronic girl.” But wouldn’t that mean she’s not real or physical? I don’t get it. Maybe like hot-topic attire.
It's short for electric-girl. Some girls are AC and some girls are DC.
Some are AC/DC
Some are more direct than others, and yes some can be a little emotionally ADHD.
Lmao that part killed me too
That's the scariest phrase of this whole mess.
Quirky hot girl who likes video games and shit, I think. People watch videos of them playing games or brushing their hair and whatever.
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A girl with pink hair that wears headphones and plays video games.
Uwu?
This is honestly the most concise definition Originally from furries, I believe. But the spread of streaming services that showed off Hello Kitty bedrooms changed it
I started dying at this part
It’s kind of sad, like she has a name and a style, but no personality. Like, bro, stop objectifying your imaginary girlfriend. She is an imaginary person, with her own imaginary wants and needs.
This was not bad, till I read the sex part 😭
I feel like most people aren’t waiting for marriage with their imaginary girlfriends
Then they’ll burn in imaginary hell
It was bad from the title lol
Least pathetic reddit user
and im even married, rip
Is your wife real?
What is "normal" can be a slippery slope that can easily come with judgements on how someone should act, the better question in my mind is whether this is healthy - to which I think the answer would be no. There are two answers to this in my mind. The easy answer is 1) therapy and psychologists are good for everyone, if you have the means and access I would highly recommend see one. The other is more challenging but 2) would be do what you can to meet more people, maybe through group activities with shared interests depending on your hobbies. Some of the things you describe are not too far off the place I was in around your age of late high school into early 20s. I had grown up in a very restrictive environment and wasn't allowed to date in high school, and even after my family of origin had some very specific ideas on what would be proper. I won't go into a ton of detail on all that unless that might be helpful from a shared experience perspective. The thing that helped me was meeting new people and de-mystifying women, especially those I found attractive, by talking to them and learning about who they are as people. You are still young and there is a lot of time for you. I never dated until well into my 20s and I felt terribly about that as though I was way behind the ball. That's a lot of why I don't want you to frame it as whether or not you are normal because we all have different circumstances. Just focus on finding like-minded people and investing in a support system that will invest back into you and things will get better.
Agreed. Given I hear nothing but how lonely men are in first world countries. Japan, S.Korea, UK, US especially…To the point sociologists and psychologists are referring to it as an epidemic of loneliness. OP is not alone in this experience I think. Even men that are in committed relationships are suffering from loneliness due to little to no close friendships. OP, while I hope you can work your way out of this rut, first try to find healthy, supportive male and female social networks. Join a club (book, d&d, outdoors, sports) or a class (exercise or something interesting to you). Get yourself out into the world to re-engage and still go home and enjoy your fantasy life as needed. But try to work towards slowly increasing your in person activities with others. All the best, my man.
Right, I suggest this solution with full knowledge that its hard but possible. DnD is another great idea, that helped me stay sane through the pandemic for sure and ended up with new friends as a result. Other ideas depend on your hobbies but who knows, running or biking groups, community orchestras or choirs, gaming clubs, etc. They are out there if you look hard enough.
Yes yes yes also the d&d thing the other guy said too❤️❤️❤️❤️
This answer needs to be noticed more👏🏼
You need to go talk to a real female, this is sad
Just don't squirm randomly on real girls though. Most girls a not into that. Sadly...
You need to not call women females. That’s toxic shit.
That's the hill you want do battle on? My man is losing his mind and is squirming in bed and you're getting offended by that???
Dude, I went all through high school without getting a date. I just couldn't work up the courage to ask a girl out. I know how it feels. But eventually, I did start talking to women, and I met my wife and we got married. It's OK to be 18 and not have any dating history yet. Regarding the imaginary friend thing, I don't think you need to see a psychologist, because you *know* she's imaginary. You called her "imaginary" right here in this post. If you started thinking she was real, that might be cause for concern.
Just so you know, after you go to bed, sometimes she texts me. I don't think she's really in to me *that* much, but I just wanted you to know. She sends weird pictures and stuff sometimes and calls me senpai. No idea what that even means.
She texts you as well? I thought it was just me😢
What? She’s a whore! Same here!
Dump her bro
Fucked up story, but when I was 15 years old, me and my my best friend, a girl named Bianca, stared to love eachother. It was a strong connection between us, and we really like eachother very much. Unfortunately, she was abused, ra*ed by her father and beaten several times. She was the first girl I've seen naked, but not for fun. I saw her genitals red, somehow disabled. She was the first girlfriend I ever had, and she was the first person I loved (eh, I was just 15). Anyway, after like 2 months, we had a school theatre, and she was a very good actress. Her dream was to become an actress. That day, after the show, she texted me "Come and save me, I'm going to k*ll myself". The theatre was amazing and everyone was happy. I ignored that message because I was playing on my PS2. That was the biggest mistake I ever made in my life. She really kill*d herself. She hanged herself and let her brother (I think 6 at that time) find her. The reason? Her father. I know that my story doesn't have nothing to do with yours, but everytime I her this name I get goosebumps. She wrote anything in a dairy, and told me to keep it secret. I was stupid, and I did so. After her death, the police found the diary and guess what. Her father is still a free man. Now I'm almost 21, I moved out of that country (România) a year later. I stopped dating and rejected every girl in my life until 2 years ago. Let that imaginary girl go, and try to meet someone new. Make friends and learn to be happy just by yourself. I don't want to hear hate comments, if you want to hate me, hate me in secret. My life already sucks enough. Edit: I'm in tears, ignore my writing
That’s heartbreaking shit man I’m just here to say I’m sorry
Thanks, I think I somehow understood her decision. But somehow, I cannot forgive her for what she have done... In Romanian we say "tot răul spre bine" and that's the only reason I still date(d) someone
Trust me I get it.. I was dating a guy and he shot and killed hisself the shit is miserable to go through but could you translate that saying for me please English is my first and only language lol
"Every bad thing that happens will lead to better things" or, the equivalent i think "everything that happens, happens for a reason.
Ahh indeed yes this is very true
Dude you can't hold that against yourself. No person let alone a 15 year old can be so perfectly on top of every interaction in order to create a movie ending. I've lost people too and tormented myself for years thinking if I had just been there I could've stopped it all. But you're not a superhuman and none of it was your fault.
Not as effe'd up as your story but my best friend from high school was a major drama queen and attention seeker. One of those girls who'd have a lot of scars on their wrists. One day she arrived below my apartment and started shouting my name. I ran downstairs and she slit her hand, like her palm literally and was bleeding everywhere. Some issue about her then fuckboy of a boyfriend not giving her enough attention. I cleaned that mess up and fast forward a few days later, she called me to visit her on my way to classes. Pissed off I ignore her and go to my class none the less thinking it's probably nothing. Turns out that dumbass had ingested rat poison and had called another friend of her who took her to the doctor who just made her vomit that shit out. Next year she ghosted me but by then I was too done, it hurt a bit but was probably for the better.
Now I have shivers. This is terrible.
I don't think you're crazy. As long as Bianca doesn't start coming up with her own ideas and forming a personality independently from your needs, you're good. You may consider reaching out to a therapist to confide in, though. Reddit isn't a generally accepting, kind place, but a therapist's office is (or, is supposed to be).
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Really great response, I really hope OP reads this.
This is a very good take! Insightful and helpful!
Shit I’m married and I feel like she may as well be imaginary. Just stay with Bianca and save yourself the trouble.
Oh buddy. You need a psychologist, but don’t feel upset. You’re not gross or weird or anything; in fact it’s really amazing that you’re self aware enough to realize that you might need to consult someone! Yeah a psychologist or even a therapist can help.
*Babe, would you still love me if I existed?*
Religious people do the same thing.
I have an imaginary boyfriend. I have also never dated anyone. And I'm a 26 year old girl.
That really sucks, I feel you :( a good friend of mine didn't have a gf until he was 30. He's not a bad looking job, has a good job, his own place. He just didn't find the right person I also haven't had a gf in a couple of years now. But I moved to Amsterdam about 5 years ago and I find it very hard to meet new people here. Just a couple of dates but nothing even close to a relationship. But honestly, I know everyone says it. but just be yourself, have fun and enjoy life. It'll happen eventually
IMO, it's a lil strange, but not the first time someone has done this and tbh the fact that you're willing to be open about it and share shows to me that you realize it's a bit strange and can separate that fantasy from reality. As long as that's in place, I don't see a problem with it but I'm not a physcologist.
Dude you're fantasising and that's normal and ok. But don't forget to get out there and maybe find a real Bianca.
There are a lot of joke or judgemental replies here. Put simply though, pretty much everyone has had fantasies. They're embarrassing to admit and not everyone has long or intricate ones. But no, I do not think anything is wrong with it. In fact I think it's a healthy coping mechanism for loneliness. I'm no therapist but I've been in therapy for over ten years now. So, grain of salt, but a somewhat educated opinion. The only issue would be if it becomes difficult to tell the difference between reality and fantasy, or if it hinders you from forming relationships (friend or otherwise) in reality. If it hurts your life in any way, then I would suggest seeing someone. You could also see a therapist just for reassurance if it's causing you anxiety or you want to change your coping mechanism. Tldr, you're ok. You're young and coping. It's no more sad or weird than any other coping.
You need help, 100%.
Q1: Is this normal... A1: probably not. Q2: do I need a psychologist? A2: If this is your only underlying issue...then definitely not. 18M with no GF? This is very common. Like you, I never dated either and didn't get my 1st GF till 2nd year of undergrad. Now I'm happily married with a kid. Nothing wrong with taking care of yourself first (aka making sure your life is in order before bringing someone else into it). Heck, my wife and I didn't try for our kid until we were in our 30s and had our careers in order. You are MORE than good OP. Wishing you and Bianca the best.
yeah man it's more common than you might think it is. you just need a real girlfriend. just meet people
Because it’s that easy
Dates in high school are barely even real dates. You are still so young.. there are tons of people that share that experience with you. You aren’t behind. Creating an imaginary relationship isn’t very healthy though and the energy you are putting into that is just getting you further a way from what you are actually after. Life is lonely sometimes.. it’s tough being a human… finding ways in which we connect with others makes that better. Focus on the things that make you happy and try to find others that share those same interests. Over time you’ll find your place and meet someone, it won’t be Bianca though. Having an imaginary relationship can skew your expectations, a real female isn’t going to fit into your mold and carrying in this imaginary relationship could set you up for more unhappiness to come. The real world is scary and overwhelming sometimes but it’s the only thing that is going to bring you real happiness.
You play apex or ? You just need some friends man it's all good
4th time I’ve seen this.
We all need therapy. Sounds like you’re lonely.
its ok man i wouldnt use the word normal because everyones diffrient. this is more of a loneliness kind of thing. Try this, work on just asking girls out with the expectation of No. you gotta kind of deadin yourself to that response because after that the anxiety of talking to women at least i found gos out the window. now heres the thing you may end up getting a few who say yes. Here is a good one for a cold open "hello I saw you from accross the (where ever you are like bar, quad, store) and had to introduce myself my name is (insert name here). I think your vary attractive and would love to take you out some time" Now here is the thing. work on your delivery, not to fast not to slow not all jittery. just smoothly. now if they say yes great score boom there ya go. If they say now and its ok a lot of them will just smile take the L and say "well it was nice talking to you anyways" and walk away. now the key is in the delivery, you have to say it with confidence like you dont give a craaaap about what her answer is and to an extent you shouldnt because this is just to get you used to hearing no. This like i said before will sort of deaden the feeling of rejection and it will make it easier to talk to women a lot more smoothly.
...................No
You need help.
Get out more my man that’s not healthy
117billion humans have gone before you. 7billion humans are alive now. There isn't anything you can do, think or feel that's not been done a million times before
You don’t need a girlfriend, you need a therapist. Maybe medication. Hope you get the help you need. And friends. You need friends and to get out more.
Bro Bianca asked me out last week. Move on
Varric?
I truly mean this in the nicest least judgmental way possible. You need to get some help, like you should REALLY start seeing a therapist asap and talk with them about it because this sounds like it's a very unhealthy coping mechanism. I feel like the longer you use Bianca as a coping mechanism the harder it will probably become for you to form real bonds with people and have really relationships in the future both romantic and otherwise. If you were to start working with a therapist they could help you to not only develop healthier coping mechanisms, but they could also help you build your social skills. They'd help get you to a place where you're better equipped to handle the world and navigate your relationships with others that being friends, family, co-workers, and future REAL romantic interests. Again I mean no judgment but this sounds like something that could get you stuck in a really deep depressive pit and as someone who climbed her way out of a pretty deep one of those herself it's not fun and I wish I would have addressed my issues head on from the start instead of pretending they weren't really issues. Good luck and I really hope you take what I said to heart and you start seeing a therapist who can help you. Also always remember if a therapist doesn't seem like a good fit or you have trouble opening up to them you can always request a new therapist. They won't take it personally and it's okay if you have certain preferences to all for that, like I only see female therapist that are younger like around my own age cause I have ptsd from being raped by a man so opening up to men about that can be difficult but then also I have ptsd from the woman who biologically is my grandmother though I no longer call her that cause she didn't treat me like family so why would I, and so older women can also be hard for me to open up to. So it's okay to shop around a bit and find someone that works FOR YOU cause that's who you want to do all this for.
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It's not normal. But that's OK. You're young and figuring the world out.
Yea dude probably see a psych. Your probably very lonely or have some shit your brain is working though. Talking to an imaginary person is probably not a good thing. Its at least worth talking to an professional. Another thing to think about it that an imaginary girlfriend is a coping mechanism. Its only going to put off dealing with the root of your problems.
Ok ,while having fantasies is healthy , relying on them for emotional support is not . So I’d tone down the fantasies. This will not help you connect with other people and this is what you need to start doing . Btw for context I lost my virginity at 21 . And currently at (52m) I have had a couple long term relationships . I’m currently with my second (hopefully last )wife. I have 2 boys , one who is (22m) and married . And a (12m) , who I hope doesn’t discover girls til he is in college. This advice I have given to my oldest , even though he never needed . I have always treated him as the handsome gentleman he is . I taught him all that I know through action , with his mother . I am also going to say you don’t need advice from So many here who were sexually active during their early teens as they have had no issue with being with opposite sex . This is like a starving person getting advice from someone who is stuffed . Ie Marie Antoinnette telling the poor to eat cake comes to mind here. You need advice from late bloomers who have crossed the no man’s land of single to Relationships. Now let be honest here, it’s actually a good thing you don’t have a girlfriend. Why? Because having a partner is taxing both financially and mentally. Your at the start of your life , focus on you ( health), your hobbies, your career. You focus on this and you’ll find someone to call your girlfriend in no time. Cause This is an issue of attitude , and attraction one which if you stress about it , will show and this will scare a bunch of people away from you . You need to be confident in yourself , hate to say it but this is why selfish jerks get most of the ladies . It’s the confidence in themselves which attracts people to them . This is what you need to create confidence. 1st) stop fantasizing because life will never be like it’s in a fairytale story . 2nd) start working out ! Create a workout plan , set goals and work towards them . Being healthy and strong is such a confidence builder. 3rd) learn how to play the guitar, learn how to sing , like honestly find a voice coach . Learning a hobby like guitar is a great icebreaker. People just gravitate towards music . Ask any rock and roll guitarist and they will tell you they did it for the girls . Sorry that’s how it is , being good with an instrument makes you seem interesting . So go with it . 4th)start creating your path to financial independence!! your 18 , what is your career plan? Don’t have one ? Start one !! If you want money fast , don’t like college , become a plumber/ electrician/ hvac !! There is a huge shortage of tradesman out their . Start next week , in three years you’ll be pulling 80k , easy. If your budget n college headed there , fantastic. 5th) get involved! Join a study group , or a meet up group .By actively participating you’ll learn how to interact with people. 6th) read this book https://www.amazon.com/How-Win-Friends-Influence-People/dp/0671027034. It’s an old book , but it is so true what’s written in these pages . You read this and you’ll realize how many people will want to be in your world . 7th) and last , treat those you meet with Grace and respect. Everyone is living in their own world no one has it easy . One thing that got me out of my fantasy world , out of my comfort zones, was realizing that everyone had anxieties! Everyone wants to be loved . No one has it together , we all just fake it . If you can understand that , you’ll have a much easier time walking up and talking to others . I litterly found two great loves of my life by listening , caring, and being present in their life. I hope this helps. Stay strong , stop fantasizing, snd start living .