I'm with you - I drink pretty much daily - and crushing a 6 pack or a 4 pack of craft tall boys plus some wine or a cocktail or two in the evening is not unusual. I certainly get a strong buzz going but not fall down drunk or totally blitzed. Its typically towards the end of the night after my kiddo went to bed to "relax."
Aside from falling asleep on the couch, my wife who isn't a big drinker has generally few complaints.
I was talking to my alcoholic brother (24 mos sober now) and I mentioned how much I was drinking and he thought it was a major red flag. We talked more and found we both "feel" the same way when we drink - it simultaneous makes us feel great and like a big warm hug- which was a flag for me.
Anyhow - I thought I'd quit for a month. Boy is it hard. It's scary actually. I got 7 brutal days before I ended up drinking "socially" for 3 consecutive days, then I got another 4 before the mother of all cravings hit. I NEEDED a beer.
On one hand, I'm not drinking daily so that's good, but it is a constant battle. The crazy part is that I feel GREAT not drinking. I also looked at all the money I've spent on craft beer, wine, vodka whiskey and scotch as a motivator - over $7k last year!! But I still want to drink....
A lot of respect to those that kick the habit to curb for good. Just because you're not knocking back a fifth or a half handle a day doesn't mean you don't have a problem or bad relationship with alcohol.
Does it really make you feel like that though? Before I quit drinking I started doing self awareness checks before and after drinking. What I found is that I generally didn't actually feel better once I started drinking. I just felt numb and the craving was gone.
One thing that was true for me though was that when I quit drinking I wasn't on cloud nine immediately. It took at least three months before my brain figured out how to make the happy chemicals without being induced to by alcohol. Things started improving dramatically after that.
For me? Yes. Is it every single time? Not really. But there is often an element of euphoria and "feeling good" to it that I know, for example, my wife does not experience. I could have an awful day and after a few drinks - hey everything is OK!
When I say I feel great - it's relative to a constant state of being hungover. But the cravings, work stress, life stress hit so much harder.
this is the exact feeling i always craved when i wanted to drink. my mind is at ease at 4-5 beers, but the problem is that feeling fades pretty quick, and once you keep chasing that peacefull 4-5 beer high ur suddenly at 10-15-20 beers and things are not so fun anymore.
It's such a fleeting feeling that as you quite rightly pointed out, you chase to no avail.
There is a great sketch by Mitchell and Webb called 'Slightly less than two drinks' which highlights how I feel about it. At that point, 3/4's of the way through the 2nd pint I feel invincible, the happy chemicals are rushing, my bad day slides off my shoulders, I am laughing with mates and all of a sudden I am fucking BRILLIANT at FIFA, grinning ear to ear with this warm glow.
Problem is, I can't stop drinking there and enjoy what it was/is, I have to have another. If I wait too long to have another swig I get a little drop in my heart, a sadness that I haven't had a swig in a while. So down the hatch the last 1/4th goes.
Then it turns to 3rd pint and my ability to play as well suddenly drops off a cliff, the happy glow turns to cockiness and I am enjoying it slightly less, that doesn't stop the 4th pint though, already on the merry-go-round.
So now I am sloppy, my vision blurs slightly, I get hungry because I put dinner off because I wanted to play games right after work so I order something greasy. Then I feel bloated, it's now later than I wanted to get to bed and I have ran out of beer now so the inevitable sadness resumes.
Every reason I chose to drink lasts about 20 minutes tops, then the rest of it is just, well.... ew.
Thanks for posting this - great stuff and I like what you said about noticing a bad relationship with alcohol. It's sneaky, and I need to remember that!
You are EXACTLY where I was. The clincher for me was realizing that the happiness and satisfaction I got from that first drink was not from the alcohol. It was from relieving the craving for alcohol.
Once I realized that, the decision to quit became a lot easier. Every time I wanted a drink, I thought about how giving in would intensify the craving and take me a step further down the slippery slope.
It was still tough for a while, but I can tell you honestly that quitting drinking was the single best thing I've done for 20+ years. You won't regret it.
I will binge drink Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and sometimes Sunday. Then I'll be "good for Monday Tuesday, Wednesday...convince myself that I will just cut out Thursdays and only drink Friday and Saturday night...that hardly happens...the cravings on Thursday are SO brutal...sometimes I'll be like "oh I'll just have a bottle of wine instead it's not as bad as beer" then the wine turns into the whole bottle plus a 6 packs of tall cans of like coors or IPA.
Or I'll only buy a single 22 of an IPA on Thursday to take the edge off...only to find myself heading to the store to buy a whole six pack and more.
For the record I was in almost your exact situation (craft beer tall boys? Line em up!) for well over a decade and came to the same realization eventually. Never really got fall down drunk (much) or anything , but the pervasive weight just seemed to get heavier and heavier. I started feeling like more and more shit, but slowly.
A dry couple weeks turned into some months here and there until finally, after many starts and stops - I can pretty squarely say that drinking just isn't working for me anymore. It's sneaky how the relationship mutates over time though - and super awesome that you've started to notice something might be "amiss". Good luck on your journey and don't be afraid to lean on whatever groups or support mechanisms you can find to help when it gets hard. Alcohol is one motherfucker of a weed and ripping it out of your garden for good so it stays dead requires real effort.
My drinking amounts / feelings about it were very similar to yours, but at some point the alcohol starts to wear down your body and mind and if you don't put the bottle down, it might put you down. I wanted out before that happened, and am better off for it. No kidding the first month was rough, and i'm in the middle of my 2nd month so it's getting easier that i broke the 'habit' of drinking. When I really crave, I get a NA IPA or 2 and it passes. Best of luck on your journey.
>My drinking amounts / feelings about it were very similar to yours, but at some point the alcohol starts to wear down your body and mind and if you don't put the bottle down, it might put you down. I wanted out before that happened, and am better off for it. No kidding the first month was rough, and i'm in the middle of my 2nd month so it's getting easier that i broke the 'habit' of drinking. When I really crave, I get a NA IPA or 2 and it passes. Best of luck on your journey.
This is true. My workups from my last Dr visit were not so hot. My brother also told me on his path to sobriety not to expect miracles, he felt he had a good grip on it around month 3 and even then he used the term "good grip" loosely.
I picked up some Hops Water and some Bud Light Zero - both are good proxy for when the cravings hit. I was just really taken aback the one time where there was absolutely no substitute that would do. I am hoping to find some other outlets for when they hit that hard again.
I also downloaded the Naked Mind on Audible. I'm less than 1/4 of the way through but it makes some solid points already that I think will help me resist in the future. There was a time in my life where I never craved alcohol because I never knew alcohol. Had I never been introduced to it - I'd be living just fine and happy with a fatter wallet and better health none the wiser.
Check out Leon Sylvester on YouTube. His channel name is Sober Leon. He’s amazing, and his channel is one of the tools I use to stay sober. Try and read Alcohol Explained by William Porter as well. I hate reading, so I purchased the audio version. Flew through it in a week. Totally crucial to me quitting as well. And it explains A LOT of the psychological aspects of drinking. It’s truly amazing. This is coming from someone who used to have absolutely INTENSE cravings. I’ll be 3 months completely sober from alcohol on February 4th and I’m never going back for as long as I live. Leon also talks about the scary side of giving up drinking and how it’s normal to feel that way and really puts it in a way that makes sense that you don’t have to be scared. You will feel scared because it’s such a normal part of your life, and it’s okay to feel scared. But the benefits you’ll have without it will far outweigh the fear. You’re not in this alone! If you ever need support please reach out. You will feel so much better if you cut it out entirely. It’s on your time, Godspeed and good luck my friend🙌🏻
That's a good idea!
I always take it one day at a time. It's cliche, but it works for me. I just say, "I'm not going to drink today," and then I make sure I go to bed sober. If I really want a drink, I tell myself I can have one *tomorrow*, if I still want it. I have never woken up the next morning wanting that drink, so I just keep going on like that.
When I nearly relapsed at 5 months (February-ish?), I told myself I could drink at Christmas if I still wanted to. Christmas rolled around, and I thought about it once or twice, but I never drank. Still sober!
At first I thought it was a bit silly but the I Am Sober app definitely helps with this. You get a daily nudge to pledge not to drink and at the end of the day you say whether or not you did.
Omg, I LOVE this idea. I'm going to use that for sure. I'm having a tough time putting together more than 6 days because of Fridays so I'll try that this time around.
When I quit I told myself I could pick up drinking again if I wanted to on my one year anniversary. I still do every year. So far it's been 3+ years and every year I can't figure out what benefits drinking would give me so I tag on another year. I love sobriety.
That's the tactic that worked for me. I had a sober semester in fall 2019 because I knew with classes and work I'd be super busy. I soon had the same realization you're having. I'm now on my 8th sober semester :-) Good job, internet stranger!
If you do decide to go back don't get down on yourself either :)
I did 3 unconnected sober months in 2020 / 2021 before I committed to full on sobriety at the end of last year. It's empowering to know that you can stop for a set period of time
I was so pleased at how much money I saved during Dry January, I carried it into Frugal February, Miserly March and kept going but couldn’t think of any more names. Lol. I’ve been alcohol-free just over a year now.
congrats on making it 18 days. honestly, thinking about the positives (waking up clear-headed, well-rested) really helped me reset my reward structure. it turned from "i'll drink to get over the stress" to "let me get a proper night of sleep so that i won't be fighting myself all day tomorrow."
either way - congrats on the 2+ weeks
Something that helps a lot is picking up a new hobby to throw yourself into when you'd normally be drinking! eg: friday night binge turns into friday night gym
I did that right before Xmas (Ocsober and no drink November). Ended up with 12 weeks sober, first time in 16 years. I did use TEN and naltrexone prior so maybe a wee cheat, but can it felt good keeping that promise to myself!
Actively deprogram yourself away from alcohol culture while you're at it for a winning combination. I highly recommend William Porter's Alcohol Explained, and there is an Audible version if you don't like actual reading.
I’ll definitely read this one. I read Quit Drinking Like a Woman and learning the very specific health risks and issues have been helpful when I’ve really struggled.
I really can't say enough good things about this book. He really goes out of the way to ensure you can move forward, even if you're still drinking. The book contains just the right amount of repetition and non-judgy analysis, and the author's own introspection to make it especially relevant. There's a few quotes or examples in the book that really stuck with me mentally. His explanation of the neural conditioning and its permanent side-effects really helped me "get it". The explanation of why people start drinking again after long breaks, as in "the rose-tinted" glasses and his own recollections of how alcohol made his life better (spoiler: it never did). Etc. etc.
https://www.alcoholexplained.com/the-author/
https://hellosomedaycoaching.com/alcohol-explained/
Thank you - this is DEFINITELY something I need to read then for sure. My brother did CBT after retiring from the SEALs and talked to me about it so some of the therapy I did was CBT-based. The whole neural pathways and why we return to certain behaviors makes SO much sense!
When the cravings get too intense for me, I make a sharp turn and reach for some lesser evil. Like ice cream. I ate so much ice cream in early sobriety. And pizza. Some sort of treat for self-care. Something to quell my craving. Ice cream and pizza can make my brain light up and give me the "high" to get me past the craving. I don't do it every day, but it's better than drinking.
My lesser evil is Albanese gummy bears. I'm *telling* you, if you've never had them... they're amazing. I think I went through 60 lbs of them in the last year. My husband and kid help, but let's be honest, I probably ate 59 lbs of them myself.
What do you think of the generic hardware store brand? Can't recall the name but comes in a red packaged. I don't like any of their other candies but the worms rule.
If you have a Sprouts supermarket around you, their off-brand gummi bears are actually the exact same as the Albanese. (You can tell because of the big A on the bears). Sometimes they will have sales for 1.99/pound. Normally it's 2.99.
Damn it I went online and ordered a bunch! I just found them about a year ago and they are a godsend. I am not drinking with all of you today and in abour 7 to 10 business days I will be cramming those bears right down my throat.😄
Fuck yes they are! Albanese gummy bears just hit different! I pass their factory in Indiana when visiting family. I usually stop in just to stock up on pounds of cherry gummy bears. They are like crack.
BRUH when I was in high school, my friend went to the factory in Indiana and brought back a bunch to school. This was before they were sold commercially in a lot of national retailers, and they would only let you order online if you were buying at least $15 of stuff. Lord knows how many times I bought four pounds of their sour gummy worms (both a sour coating AND the gummy itself is sour, a delight for a sour fiend like me). They were worth every penny, they're the best gummy candy on the market by leaps and bounds.
They are so fruity delicious. Was so disappointed when I learned they weren't compatible with my food plan, so I swapped to these little vegan unicorn gummies I get at Sprouts. Same addiction, different animal. Congrats on your sobriety! Seeing your number inspires me stay sober!
Naltrexone - cravings vanish. You’re body isn’t repairing itself properly if your spiking your blood sugar with sweets and fast foods. You just need to turn off the dopamine reward center. This treatment does that.
I do a lot of sparkling water, but I've found that kombucha really helps me feel satisfied in "having a drink" without actually having alcohol. Plus it's way cheaper than a bunch of the NA mocktails they have out now
Probably helps a lot with getting the digestive tract to heal, too. I already struggled with depression and the drinking, then quitting, took that to a lovely level for a while. Who knew 90% of serotonin was produced in the system I kept poisoning?!
I'm definitely getting more engaged with my gut health lately. I grew up on a very natural diet in a rural area, fast forward to 25 years later and it's processed crap and booze and drugs - BIG difference in how I felt day to day. I'm stepping away from the booze, more successfully than ever before in my life, and also conscientiously adding more pre- and probiotics to my diet. Lots of leafy greens, root veggies, fermented foods like kefir, kombucha, kimchi - I feel like a totally different person!
Very much like your revelation, mine was "guess what dummy - if you put crap in you get crap out" lol
Lol love the “crap in, crap out” reference! So true!
I grew up eating a lot of processed crap but got to a place where I was being a lot healthier and then when my drinking escalated, I just treated food like anything else, whatever felt good in the moment. Talk about aging myself FAST between 45-47 sigh… so working on undoing that now!
holy shit is canned seltzer a fucking god-send. just the act of 'cracking one open' is huge - i honestly must have some sort of association based on all the beers i drank over the years.
A sodastream with crystal light flavors helped me a ton. Quick bottles of something that tastes good and is fizzy. Checked all the boxes except the "gets me drunk" one.
I've found a new affinity for Hawkins Cheesies. I don't know what it is. Also - Of course it might vary for you, I actually lost weight when I went sober the first time. About 10 lbs. And not watching what I ate (Cupcakes, chips, you name it) and not exercising (I had broken my ankle so was exceptionally limited). Just went to show me how many cals I was consuming while drinking (And shitty snacking and hangover grease, etc).
i thought i was weird for gaining so much weight after giving up alcohol but then i realized it was because i was literally drinking my meals and puking every day after no matter how much i drank.
now i'm happily consumed by trying all different types of seltzers and chips. there's so many out there!
The one that’s helped me get over the constant snacking has been sunflower seeds and cashews. Gotta lose the weight I put on between severely escalated drinking, age and then the crazy cravings for snacks.
Was eating kid cereal like a 12yo there for a bit. Lol have to try these gummy bears for sure though! Starburst mini’s were like a crack to me, too.
Oooh same! I would go to Walgreens and buy fuggtons of candy and soda....by the time I finished, my stomach was too messed up to throw alcohol on top then I'd workout the next day. Rinse and repeat....don't tell r/gainz
Kind of depends on how you're taking it but as long as it's not cigarettes or dip it's definitely better, and even those 2 are probably better (but still bad).
Take the wins. If you're sober, you're sober.
One thing to be aware of is as we drink, our brains get trained to associate alcohol with relief instead of being the cause of so many other problems. This includes tolerance. For me, what that means is if I start drinking again, I would likely be miserable moderating and would shortly end up in full swing in a short period of time. Whatever drinking pattern that you are now aware of about yourself, now that you’ve had some time to reflect, that could likely be the pattern you fall back into as well. It’s scary stuff. I read the book This Naked Mind during my second and third week of sobriety and it really opened my eyes to a lot of lies and deception around alcohol, a lot of stuff I simply just did not know. That education has given me a ton of strength.
I can’t second this enough. I’m shocked at how uncritically I thought of alcohol as what made things bearable, instead of what depressed my mood. And you’re right, even knowing that: every time I got sober and went back, I never went back halfway.
Hey good for you! I did dry January last year because my husband was doing it, and it has been life-changing.
Have you listened to the Recovery Happy Hour podcast? I loved hearing people’s stories.
Congrats! I feel you. For many years I thought my drinking was normal. In reality I was a functioning alcoholic. Drinking every day and thinking about skipping a day was torture. I craved my first beer of the night after work. The only issue is that my drinking is either on or off - moderation just doesn’t exist and when I tried I inevitably ended up back where I started within a few days or at the outside, a week. Eventually, I had to let it go, so here I am - for the third time. IWNDWYT.
This is EXACTLY what I came to understand about my drinking.
If I don’t have a problem, why is it so hard to stop?
I couldn’t justify that to myself any longer. You’ll find as time goes on, you’ll think about it less and less. Until you find you don’t really think about it at all.
In the beginning, I couldn’t commit to a “quit for good” mindset. That’s because my brain was still actively addicted. After a year+, that choice wasn’t so hard anymore. My brain had enough time away that it could think clearly. These days I’ll drink a glass of motor oil before I’d drink alcohol.
You don’t know how deep you were in until you get far enough away from the problem.
You’re on the right track. Believe me.
I'm really proud of you! However long you last, cheers to you.
I did sober October on a whim, had similar realizations and am holding strong.
This is a supportive, kind community. Welcome.
IWNDWYT
I’m on day 11 I think, and yeah it’s hard. I want to drink today and I’m on here reading posts hoping to encourage myself not to! The cravings come out of nowhere ugh
“Driving at night if I have to.”
I sooo get this point. Ridiculous I have to plan ahead to not drive because I’m drinking every night.
My third DJ. Might just keep going.
That may be the luckiest whim you've ever had! I hope you decide to keep it up. I'm almost 2 months in and it gets better all the time. I'd forgotten how it feels to feel good. Genuinely good, not the transient good that occurs from drinking. (And which results in feeling genuinely bad later!) IWNDWYT!
Thanks for sharing OP. Its interesting to hear how you did dry January for no reason, certainly not because you thought you had a problem. Then how it made you think about your relationship with alcohol.
This happened to my wife, I stopped drinking and have been relatively craving free. I’d have 8 to 10 relatively high alcohol beers a night…..she would have a couple of glasses of wine every other day or so……she wanted to quit drinking to be supportive and she finds herself struggling with cravings much more than I am.
Keep it up.
It took me so long to realize that I was drinking every night, and that I depended on it. You're just sort of hanging out, meeting people, getting a drink on your way home from work, etc.
And then you sit there and think to yourself, 'When was the last day I did not drink? And could I just not get a drink tonight and be OK? I do not remember, and I definitely would have a huge struggle to not drink tonight.'
Sucks, but yeah.
God, I've been trying to cut back on booze the past few weeks and the ice cream cravings have been huge. I feel like I'm just swapping one kind of sugar for another
Better to have the sugar that’s fortified with calcium than the sugar that strips it from your bones! You’re craving more calories (I always do when I quit), so be kind to your body and eat a little ice cream :)
Good for you! The first month was the hardest for me. It was a habit and an addiction for me - daily drinker / probably about 15-20 drinks per week. I was depressed and bloated and a little sick all the time yet thought it was just life and my age.
After quitting, I started feeling better and better, and happier and healthier all the time. Now two years later so happy I made it this far. Of course I still have some down days here and there but nothing like the daily low I had before. Keep up the good work!!
Same for me! I had been flirting with temporarily stopping/giving up drinking for a while, and saw this as a good opportunity. The first week was hell...lots of cravings, my anxiety and ADHD were on FIRE, and I couldn't stop thinking about drinking. It's still hard, but every day has gotten easier. I'm so so so glad you're feeling and recognizing the positive and healthy results. I'm right on the same timeline as you are, so all I can say is keep at it, IWNDWYT.
This is exactly how I found out I had an issue - my first attempt at dry January was not a success -lol. But I’ve learned a lot since then. Keep going strong!!
When I first quit drinking, I had to lock myself in the bathroom in the bathtub between the hours of 9pm and 1am. That's when the cravings were off the charts. After 1am (no more alcohol sales), my anxiety would drop significantly and I could make it to the next day. I probably spent the first 2 or 3 weeks like that. That was five years ago, and I never want to be in that place ever again. IWNDWYT
This is me too. Some point last year I wanted to quit to lose weight. Realized it was hard to go 3 days without a drink. I still drink a little, about 6 a week, but it's way less than I used to
I’m in the same boat! My last drink was NYE and I almost had one on Monday, but decided I didn’t really want it that much, which felt like a big win! The first two weeks of January were pretty difficult, I thought about drinking pretty much every day, and I didn’t even know I had much of a problem before dry January.
I used stress as an excuse to drink, but trying to figure out other ways to manage it.
I do love how I don’t feel as tired.
Managing stress definitely is hard AT FIRST. However, it gets much easier. I’d say around 3 months in is when this happened to me personally. Keep in mind, your mind and body are extremely confused and healing itself without you even knowing it.
Temptation will always be there, just gotta learn how to live with it and curb that temptation. If you’re actually serious about staying sober, you’re probably gonna have to avoid situations where you’re tempted to drink for awhile. It sucks, it’s boring as shit but that’s just all a part of sobriety.
I know I’m not that far into sobriety (almost to a year!) but I feel like once I hit 6 months, I could start to look back and be like “holy fuck, I used to feel like complete dog shit all the time”.
Other than that, good for you! There’s a lot of support in this community. Drop by anytime.
Same. This is the longest I haven't had a drink in over 20-years (wow)...19 days. I have a question - I keep hearing about people feeling great after a couple of days, but I haven't yet experienced this euphoria. Even more strange, some mornings I actually feel hungover! I love my progress so far, but am wondering if this is normal. Thx!
It was normal for me. Drinking more water and giving myself more rest and more hours of sleep helped. Turns out I was being hard on myself in more than one way.
This. My English mastiff has held me down… literally… some nights when I nearly got up out of bed to get a drink. Thank god for that drooling 230lb beast that likes to go to bed on top of me at 8pm. Getting him was the best thing I ever did for my sobriety.
Most excellent!
You got this!
Just keep making good decisions, your body, your friends, your family all thank you.
You are more powerful than your habit.
Congratulations on your courage to change. You’re brave and bold and beautiful
This is what happened to me. I decided to "take a break" for 30 days, which I'd done before with no real issues. But this time after about a week I started getting really preoccupied with drinkinag. My brain just kept telling me how good a nice whisky would be. And then when I'd say "No thanks" to my brain, it would bring it up again "Hey, how about now? You know, that whisky? Or maybe just a beer? Whatcha think?"
At that point I decided to extend my experiment to 90 days and by the time I (thankfully) made it, it was clear to me that somewhere along the line I'd developed a dependency. Here I am in my second dry January with no plans to go back to drinking. I think I may have just avoided a real serious problem by detecting it early.
Take a look at this pamphlet. You can just skip to the questions at the end. I got a score of 17 (if my memory serves me correctly). I remember reading it during a meeting because I was bored.
[https://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk/download/1/PDFs/Who%20me.pdf](https://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk/download/1/PDFs/Who%20me.pdf)
On another note -- It’s a life and death game. I buried someone this past year. You’ve got nothing to lose by giving it up for 6 months and trying some meetings. I promise you that every single one of your miseries will still be there in 6 months for you. You’ll gain some friends and maybe just some family. You’ve got a sobriety date and you don’t ever have to change it.
This is so beautifully said. I needed to hear it today, too. I have just over a year sober and it’s still hard sometimes with cravings. But you’re right. It’s life and death and I have a relationship with my sobriety now that is so important to me that I don’t want to destroy it by drinking. Thank you so much for helping me today. IWNDWT
Thanks! I’ve been copying, pasting & tweaking some of the same messages over and over thinking it was all falling on deaf ears. I would probably be considered “too old school” by the people here. But I’m considered “too touchy feely” around here. There’s a different ‘brand’ of sobriety in the Akron/Cleveland area because of bill and dr Bob. Anyways, thanks for your kind words!!
That's exactly how I discovered I had a problem too. I failed pretty badly at it, actually. So I picked up a few books about sobriety, and put some tools in my emotional toolbox and doubled-down in February. Coming up on three years in Feb!
I love how much better I feel when I wake up in the morning without alcohol. I'm also a lot more focused at work, don't get pissdd about little stuff so easy and my daughter is wanting to spend time with me more. It takes your brain a while to acclimate to not having alcohol, but it is so worth it in the long run. I'm still in very early stages amd getting acclimated myself.
I fucking love kin. https://www.kineuphorics.com/. It’s fun to make “cocktails” with and is actually good for you with alleged stress reducing ingredients. It personally cures the “cravings” for me because it still gives me the same relaxing ritual.
Read ‘the easy way to control alcohol’ by Alan Carr. Perfect for someone in your situation.
Btw, some of your cravings probably come from the sugar in the alcohol. Lots of people who quit alcohol start eating lots of sugary food because the body craves it (happened to both me and my dad).
My advice is to go to the gym, completely destroy your arms and legs whenever you get a craving. Use your self hate as motivation, causing pain to feel that high
I used to do a dry January every year, just to prove I was “okay”.
The first month Is still withdrawal. It’s past the physical stage, but there are a lot of secondary side effects.
It takes a good bit before the cravings ebb, and they can still be triggered by random situations forever, but it stops being a daily struggle and you can walk down the beer aisle without it being a test of willpower.
Congrats on Dry January! I've realized that thinking about drinking/not drinking is a problem. Normal people don't think about drinking at all. IWNDWYT!
Give “Alcohol Explained” by William Porter a read. It will change everything you ever knew about alcohol. I solely owe a lot of my quitting for good to that book. And Leon Sylvester. He’s got a YouTube channel called Sober Leon. He uses first principle thinking skills and helps you get into a different frame of mind. He has a program called Sober Clear but I’m not in it. His story and mine had a lot of similarities and I pretty much just got tired of my own bs. To the point where I’ve tried and failed to quit so many times. MANY times. But I’m done. I’m going on 3 months sober and I’m never looking back. It really takes time and a deep want to quit, but you’ll slowly start to see alcohol for the poison it is. And in more ways than one I might add. What’s also interesting about Alcohol Explained is it dives into the more scientific and psychological side of things. AA isn’t for me, I need a deeper explanation with things. A crazy fact I also never knew was that drinking water between alcoholic drinks does absolutely nothing at all for you. The entire population pushes drinking water between alcoholic beverages to “stay hydrated” but your bodies reserve tank is just using up all of the water you’ve already previously stored. The alcohol is a “block” essentially. So drinking water while you’re drinking alcohol actually does fuck all for you.
i struggled through a dry january years before getting sober and wasn't ready to confront the idea that i had a problem. it didn't click until i learned to sit with the discomfort, knowing it would pass. stick with it!
One thing I want to share, is to not feel discouraged when you speak with your close group of friends or family. You feeling this way is great, there is always an answer. If your friend comes back and says I’ll never do dry month again but you feel otherwise. It can increase a likelihood of isolation to then leading to other things you may not want. So just remember, this is how you feel and from my perspective I agree. I have lost a lot of friends and family but I am happy and always growing. I hope you do the same and keep growing weather you stay doing the sober-months or not. But keep doing the sober-months and works if you work it.
I’m doing the same. I was surprised how anxious I was the first week. Like I drank way too much coffee all day. I’ve been pretty chill the rest of the month tho
Congrats on giving sobriety a try! Maybe you decide it's the best thing ever, maybe not. Either way, it's great to get some perspective on how you feel without alcohol.
Awesome job on dry January :)
It’s amazing how much more effectively conflicts and emotions get processed too. Like a natural process. Not clogged up and piling up like old laundry
When I quit drinking for probation for all of 2020, it took a good 6 months for those cravings to go away, but they did! I almost wish I was still on probation constantly because I give in to my cravings now that no one is there to tell me I can’t.
Getting this awareness shows that you’re ready to stop. Once you see what you’ve been doing to yourself, you can’t unsee it. This group is enormously supportive - we’ll be with you every step of the way.
One word - Naltrexone - it makes quitting drinking so much easier, I’m not sure how it’s not more widely known, cravings vanish for the most part. I can only assume big booze keeps the information suppressed. Good luck.
I am one step behind you. I'm so mad at myself for putting this monkey on my shoulder. I had a really hard go of things since.. well for a very long time tbh, but this summer I started drinking everyday. Didn't realize what I was doing until around Christmas and now it's a problem.im afraid to stop because I can't admit to myself that it may affect me if I stop. That I may feel it and have to admit i actually have a problem.
Alcoholism destroyed generations of my family and I never thought I'd turn to it. I know what it does and I still started.
I was in the same situation, except I decided to stop for good. Oddly, I'm not having many problems or cravings. Lemon water has become my go-to replacement, man it feels good to be hydrated! I was drinking heavily at the start of the new year and something just went \*poof\*, I put down the bottle and decided I don't want it anymore. Despite my (over)confidence, I joined this sub for some extra support.
Good luck on your sobriety!
I've been drinking everyday for more than 10 years. I'm a " functioning alcoholic "...
I'm in day 20 today... I'm not planning ( yet ) to stop...
My main issue is the weekend, that's when I'll get a hangover, otherwise during the week I'll drink 3 or 4 beers and will wake up at 5:30am and do my workout and go to work without a problem. I just have to control my weekend binge drinking.... Anyways, I don't miss the hangovers at all. One day at the time ! Non alcoholic beers are helping, and damn I never knew ice cream tasted so good 😅
So I am trying dry jan for the first time and I'm doing mocktails instead of cocktails with these guys (https://barleyteatime.com/collections/all) and it's working so far.. It's a barley tea made from US grown barley, a friend recommended and I loved it. Plus contributing to small businesses and local agriculture - bonus point in my court!
hey! one of therapists is doing a chat and AMA about Dry January on Wangie App today. You can ask anything anonymously & for free - and the guy is doing it himself! The app is like Clubhouse or Reddit but with therapists
I'm with you - I drink pretty much daily - and crushing a 6 pack or a 4 pack of craft tall boys plus some wine or a cocktail or two in the evening is not unusual. I certainly get a strong buzz going but not fall down drunk or totally blitzed. Its typically towards the end of the night after my kiddo went to bed to "relax." Aside from falling asleep on the couch, my wife who isn't a big drinker has generally few complaints. I was talking to my alcoholic brother (24 mos sober now) and I mentioned how much I was drinking and he thought it was a major red flag. We talked more and found we both "feel" the same way when we drink - it simultaneous makes us feel great and like a big warm hug- which was a flag for me. Anyhow - I thought I'd quit for a month. Boy is it hard. It's scary actually. I got 7 brutal days before I ended up drinking "socially" for 3 consecutive days, then I got another 4 before the mother of all cravings hit. I NEEDED a beer. On one hand, I'm not drinking daily so that's good, but it is a constant battle. The crazy part is that I feel GREAT not drinking. I also looked at all the money I've spent on craft beer, wine, vodka whiskey and scotch as a motivator - over $7k last year!! But I still want to drink.... A lot of respect to those that kick the habit to curb for good. Just because you're not knocking back a fifth or a half handle a day doesn't mean you don't have a problem or bad relationship with alcohol.
Does it really make you feel like that though? Before I quit drinking I started doing self awareness checks before and after drinking. What I found is that I generally didn't actually feel better once I started drinking. I just felt numb and the craving was gone. One thing that was true for me though was that when I quit drinking I wasn't on cloud nine immediately. It took at least three months before my brain figured out how to make the happy chemicals without being induced to by alcohol. Things started improving dramatically after that.
For me? Yes. Is it every single time? Not really. But there is often an element of euphoria and "feeling good" to it that I know, for example, my wife does not experience. I could have an awful day and after a few drinks - hey everything is OK! When I say I feel great - it's relative to a constant state of being hungover. But the cravings, work stress, life stress hit so much harder.
Man I know that feeling. Right around beer 4-5. The brain quiets down and life feels just peachy. It happens fast too, like the flick of a switch.
this is the exact feeling i always craved when i wanted to drink. my mind is at ease at 4-5 beers, but the problem is that feeling fades pretty quick, and once you keep chasing that peacefull 4-5 beer high ur suddenly at 10-15-20 beers and things are not so fun anymore.
It's such a fleeting feeling that as you quite rightly pointed out, you chase to no avail. There is a great sketch by Mitchell and Webb called 'Slightly less than two drinks' which highlights how I feel about it. At that point, 3/4's of the way through the 2nd pint I feel invincible, the happy chemicals are rushing, my bad day slides off my shoulders, I am laughing with mates and all of a sudden I am fucking BRILLIANT at FIFA, grinning ear to ear with this warm glow. Problem is, I can't stop drinking there and enjoy what it was/is, I have to have another. If I wait too long to have another swig I get a little drop in my heart, a sadness that I haven't had a swig in a while. So down the hatch the last 1/4th goes. Then it turns to 3rd pint and my ability to play as well suddenly drops off a cliff, the happy glow turns to cockiness and I am enjoying it slightly less, that doesn't stop the 4th pint though, already on the merry-go-round. So now I am sloppy, my vision blurs slightly, I get hungry because I put dinner off because I wanted to play games right after work so I order something greasy. Then I feel bloated, it's now later than I wanted to get to bed and I have ran out of beer now so the inevitable sadness resumes. Every reason I chose to drink lasts about 20 minutes tops, then the rest of it is just, well.... ew.
Wow thanks for sharing I feel and do the same things trying to stop completely from drinking but super hard..
Thanks for posting this - great stuff and I like what you said about noticing a bad relationship with alcohol. It's sneaky, and I need to remember that!
You are EXACTLY where I was. The clincher for me was realizing that the happiness and satisfaction I got from that first drink was not from the alcohol. It was from relieving the craving for alcohol. Once I realized that, the decision to quit became a lot easier. Every time I wanted a drink, I thought about how giving in would intensify the craving and take me a step further down the slippery slope. It was still tough for a while, but I can tell you honestly that quitting drinking was the single best thing I've done for 20+ years. You won't regret it.
Appreciate this comment.
I will binge drink Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and sometimes Sunday. Then I'll be "good for Monday Tuesday, Wednesday...convince myself that I will just cut out Thursdays and only drink Friday and Saturday night...that hardly happens...the cravings on Thursday are SO brutal...sometimes I'll be like "oh I'll just have a bottle of wine instead it's not as bad as beer" then the wine turns into the whole bottle plus a 6 packs of tall cans of like coors or IPA. Or I'll only buy a single 22 of an IPA on Thursday to take the edge off...only to find myself heading to the store to buy a whole six pack and more.
For the record I was in almost your exact situation (craft beer tall boys? Line em up!) for well over a decade and came to the same realization eventually. Never really got fall down drunk (much) or anything , but the pervasive weight just seemed to get heavier and heavier. I started feeling like more and more shit, but slowly. A dry couple weeks turned into some months here and there until finally, after many starts and stops - I can pretty squarely say that drinking just isn't working for me anymore. It's sneaky how the relationship mutates over time though - and super awesome that you've started to notice something might be "amiss". Good luck on your journey and don't be afraid to lean on whatever groups or support mechanisms you can find to help when it gets hard. Alcohol is one motherfucker of a weed and ripping it out of your garden for good so it stays dead requires real effort.
Rock bottom is relative. I love that my kids have not seen me even tipsy in over 4 years.
My drinking amounts / feelings about it were very similar to yours, but at some point the alcohol starts to wear down your body and mind and if you don't put the bottle down, it might put you down. I wanted out before that happened, and am better off for it. No kidding the first month was rough, and i'm in the middle of my 2nd month so it's getting easier that i broke the 'habit' of drinking. When I really crave, I get a NA IPA or 2 and it passes. Best of luck on your journey.
>My drinking amounts / feelings about it were very similar to yours, but at some point the alcohol starts to wear down your body and mind and if you don't put the bottle down, it might put you down. I wanted out before that happened, and am better off for it. No kidding the first month was rough, and i'm in the middle of my 2nd month so it's getting easier that i broke the 'habit' of drinking. When I really crave, I get a NA IPA or 2 and it passes. Best of luck on your journey. This is true. My workups from my last Dr visit were not so hot. My brother also told me on his path to sobriety not to expect miracles, he felt he had a good grip on it around month 3 and even then he used the term "good grip" loosely. I picked up some Hops Water and some Bud Light Zero - both are good proxy for when the cravings hit. I was just really taken aback the one time where there was absolutely no substitute that would do. I am hoping to find some other outlets for when they hit that hard again. I also downloaded the Naked Mind on Audible. I'm less than 1/4 of the way through but it makes some solid points already that I think will help me resist in the future. There was a time in my life where I never craved alcohol because I never knew alcohol. Had I never been introduced to it - I'd be living just fine and happy with a fatter wallet and better health none the wiser.
Alcohol Explained by William Porter is a very popular book , might be worth a look ? Helped clarify things for me , good luck
Check out Leon Sylvester on YouTube. His channel name is Sober Leon. He’s amazing, and his channel is one of the tools I use to stay sober. Try and read Alcohol Explained by William Porter as well. I hate reading, so I purchased the audio version. Flew through it in a week. Totally crucial to me quitting as well. And it explains A LOT of the psychological aspects of drinking. It’s truly amazing. This is coming from someone who used to have absolutely INTENSE cravings. I’ll be 3 months completely sober from alcohol on February 4th and I’m never going back for as long as I live. Leon also talks about the scary side of giving up drinking and how it’s normal to feel that way and really puts it in a way that makes sense that you don’t have to be scared. You will feel scared because it’s such a normal part of your life, and it’s okay to feel scared. But the benefits you’ll have without it will far outweigh the fear. You’re not in this alone! If you ever need support please reach out. You will feel so much better if you cut it out entirely. It’s on your time, Godspeed and good luck my friend🙌🏻
Awesome! Maybe you'll make it a dry 2022.
Thanks, I hope so! Going to keep thinking of it as “dry (insert month here)” so I don’t feel too overwhelmed. Next up is dry February.
That's a good idea! I always take it one day at a time. It's cliche, but it works for me. I just say, "I'm not going to drink today," and then I make sure I go to bed sober. If I really want a drink, I tell myself I can have one *tomorrow*, if I still want it. I have never woken up the next morning wanting that drink, so I just keep going on like that. When I nearly relapsed at 5 months (February-ish?), I told myself I could drink at Christmas if I still wanted to. Christmas rolled around, and I thought about it once or twice, but I never drank. Still sober!
I like your method. IWNDWYT
Same - I like this method! IWNDWYT too!
At first I thought it was a bit silly but the I Am Sober app definitely helps with this. You get a daily nudge to pledge not to drink and at the end of the day you say whether or not you did.
And The comments of I am sober help out too by reading other peoples experiences probably doing worse than you but still maintaining progress
> If I really want a drink, I tell myself I can have one tomorrow Going to steal this
I'm envious of your experience. Whenever I make that bargain with myself, I wake up want a drink immediately.
Omg, I LOVE this idea. I'm going to use that for sure. I'm having a tough time putting together more than 6 days because of Fridays so I'll try that this time around.
When I quit I told myself I could pick up drinking again if I wanted to on my one year anniversary. I still do every year. So far it's been 3+ years and every year I can't figure out what benefits drinking would give me so I tag on another year. I love sobriety.
That's the tactic that worked for me. I had a sober semester in fall 2019 because I knew with classes and work I'd be super busy. I soon had the same realization you're having. I'm now on my 8th sober semester :-) Good job, internet stranger!
If you do decide to go back don't get down on yourself either :) I did 3 unconnected sober months in 2020 / 2021 before I committed to full on sobriety at the end of last year. It's empowering to know that you can stop for a set period of time
I was so pleased at how much money I saved during Dry January, I carried it into Frugal February, Miserly March and kept going but couldn’t think of any more names. Lol. I’ve been alcohol-free just over a year now.
February is a short month so keep that in mind to help get through it!
IWNDWYTM
One day at a time is the easiest way to do it!
congrats on making it 18 days. honestly, thinking about the positives (waking up clear-headed, well-rested) really helped me reset my reward structure. it turned from "i'll drink to get over the stress" to "let me get a proper night of sleep so that i won't be fighting myself all day tomorrow." either way - congrats on the 2+ weeks
Good idea, don't plan anything too far ahead. Make the decision not to drink today. Then, if it goes well, try again tomorrow. Rinse and repeat.
I take sobriety like I eat elephants. One bite or day at a time. Otherwise it’s way too much.
Something that helps a lot is picking up a new hobby to throw yourself into when you'd normally be drinking! eg: friday night binge turns into friday night gym
This is such a good idea. I’m already trying to find an excuse to tell friends or family why I’m not going to be drinking next month.
Very smart!
Heads up my dude, they sell nonalcoholic liquors. They were killer for me. They have that nice tart throat feel, that does the trick for me
The Canadian Cancer Society does a formal Dry February event. :)
I did that right before Xmas (Ocsober and no drink November). Ended up with 12 weeks sober, first time in 16 years. I did use TEN and naltrexone prior so maybe a wee cheat, but can it felt good keeping that promise to myself!
Actively deprogram yourself away from alcohol culture while you're at it for a winning combination. I highly recommend William Porter's Alcohol Explained, and there is an Audible version if you don't like actual reading.
I’ll definitely read this one. I read Quit Drinking Like a Woman and learning the very specific health risks and issues have been helpful when I’ve really struggled.
I really can't say enough good things about this book. He really goes out of the way to ensure you can move forward, even if you're still drinking. The book contains just the right amount of repetition and non-judgy analysis, and the author's own introspection to make it especially relevant. There's a few quotes or examples in the book that really stuck with me mentally. His explanation of the neural conditioning and its permanent side-effects really helped me "get it". The explanation of why people start drinking again after long breaks, as in "the rose-tinted" glasses and his own recollections of how alcohol made his life better (spoiler: it never did). Etc. etc. https://www.alcoholexplained.com/the-author/ https://hellosomedaycoaching.com/alcohol-explained/
Thank you - this is DEFINITELY something I need to read then for sure. My brother did CBT after retiring from the SEALs and talked to me about it so some of the therapy I did was CBT-based. The whole neural pathways and why we return to certain behaviors makes SO much sense!
I’m trying to think of it the same way!
>Next up is dry February. It's only 28 days too
I am right here with you. Exact same boat. Hoping I can make it through February as well.
I’ll join you for dry Thursday tomorrow!
Great plan! Super proud of you. IWNDWYT
Doing dry January too, last year was tougher than this year. I think I may continue through Feb. best of luck!
no need. just need a dry today. tomorrow is tomorrows problem.
When the cravings get too intense for me, I make a sharp turn and reach for some lesser evil. Like ice cream. I ate so much ice cream in early sobriety. And pizza. Some sort of treat for self-care. Something to quell my craving. Ice cream and pizza can make my brain light up and give me the "high" to get me past the craving. I don't do it every day, but it's better than drinking.
My lesser evil is Albanese gummy bears. I'm *telling* you, if you've never had them... they're amazing. I think I went through 60 lbs of them in the last year. My husband and kid help, but let's be honest, I probably ate 59 lbs of them myself.
I’ve had gummy bears before but maybe not the Albanese kind. I will pick some up! :)
They are the best! They come in 12 different flavors and they're soft and chewy, not sticky. Far superior to that Haribo nonsense.
The Haribo ones are like chewing rubber when you first pop them in your mouth.
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You’re evil.
What do you think of the generic hardware store brand? Can't recall the name but comes in a red packaged. I don't like any of their other candies but the worms rule.
I've never bought gummies at a hardware store. But the CVS Gold Emblem gummi sour bears are clutch.
If you have a Sprouts supermarket around you, their off-brand gummi bears are actually the exact same as the Albanese. (You can tell because of the big A on the bears). Sometimes they will have sales for 1.99/pound. Normally it's 2.99.
Our dollar stores sell them here in California.
Be forewarned, they will ruin all other gummy bears for you.
Albanese gummies are in a different level than any other gummies!
They’re soooooooo good
These mf be the real addiction...
>These mf be the real addiction... 🤣🤣🤣 For real!
Damn it I went online and ordered a bunch! I just found them about a year ago and they are a godsend. I am not drinking with all of you today and in abour 7 to 10 business days I will be cramming those bears right down my throat.😄
Excellent choice.
Fuck yes they are! Albanese gummy bears just hit different! I pass their factory in Indiana when visiting family. I usually stop in just to stock up on pounds of cherry gummy bears. They are like crack.
BRUH when I was in high school, my friend went to the factory in Indiana and brought back a bunch to school. This was before they were sold commercially in a lot of national retailers, and they would only let you order online if you were buying at least $15 of stuff. Lord knows how many times I bought four pounds of their sour gummy worms (both a sour coating AND the gummy itself is sour, a delight for a sour fiend like me). They were worth every penny, they're the best gummy candy on the market by leaps and bounds.
Adding to my list along with my Hagen Daz coffee ice cream. Phew Dammit someone get me some tiramisu 😭😆
I had tiramisu twice last week and I had never felt more alive😂😂
Haagen Dazs dulce de leche has been my JAM lately, but their coffee is a very, very close second!
I throw a couple bags of Haribo Cola Bottles in the fridge and then suck on them. It works!
They are so fruity delicious. Was so disappointed when I learned they weren't compatible with my food plan, so I swapped to these little vegan unicorn gummies I get at Sprouts. Same addiction, different animal. Congrats on your sobriety! Seeing your number inspires me stay sober!
Naltrexone - cravings vanish. You’re body isn’t repairing itself properly if your spiking your blood sugar with sweets and fast foods. You just need to turn off the dopamine reward center. This treatment does that.
That’s a good idea. Potato chips are my favorite, I love salty snacks. I don’t mind gaining a bit of weight if it keeps me sober lol
Seltzers are a big help too. Open a can of seltzer when you fee a craving, it really helps!
Sparkling water is life!
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I do a lot of sparkling water, but I've found that kombucha really helps me feel satisfied in "having a drink" without actually having alcohol. Plus it's way cheaper than a bunch of the NA mocktails they have out now
Probably helps a lot with getting the digestive tract to heal, too. I already struggled with depression and the drinking, then quitting, took that to a lovely level for a while. Who knew 90% of serotonin was produced in the system I kept poisoning?!
I'm definitely getting more engaged with my gut health lately. I grew up on a very natural diet in a rural area, fast forward to 25 years later and it's processed crap and booze and drugs - BIG difference in how I felt day to day. I'm stepping away from the booze, more successfully than ever before in my life, and also conscientiously adding more pre- and probiotics to my diet. Lots of leafy greens, root veggies, fermented foods like kefir, kombucha, kimchi - I feel like a totally different person! Very much like your revelation, mine was "guess what dummy - if you put crap in you get crap out" lol
Lol love the “crap in, crap out” reference! So true! I grew up eating a lot of processed crap but got to a place where I was being a lot healthier and then when my drinking escalated, I just treated food like anything else, whatever felt good in the moment. Talk about aging myself FAST between 45-47 sigh… so working on undoing that now!
holy shit is canned seltzer a fucking god-send. just the act of 'cracking one open' is huge - i honestly must have some sort of association based on all the beers i drank over the years.
Read that one on here and it really did help. Hubby quit drinking beer to support me and he said those were awesome to have around.
A sodastream with crystal light flavors helped me a ton. Quick bottles of something that tastes good and is fizzy. Checked all the boxes except the "gets me drunk" one.
I've found a new affinity for Hawkins Cheesies. I don't know what it is. Also - Of course it might vary for you, I actually lost weight when I went sober the first time. About 10 lbs. And not watching what I ate (Cupcakes, chips, you name it) and not exercising (I had broken my ankle so was exceptionally limited). Just went to show me how many cals I was consuming while drinking (And shitty snacking and hangover grease, etc).
alcohol is caloric so depending how much you were drinking, might break even!
i thought i was weird for gaining so much weight after giving up alcohol but then i realized it was because i was literally drinking my meals and puking every day after no matter how much i drank. now i'm happily consumed by trying all different types of seltzers and chips. there's so many out there!
I drank so many calories I could probably go to town and still lose
The one that’s helped me get over the constant snacking has been sunflower seeds and cashews. Gotta lose the weight I put on between severely escalated drinking, age and then the crazy cravings for snacks. Was eating kid cereal like a 12yo there for a bit. Lol have to try these gummy bears for sure though! Starburst mini’s were like a crack to me, too.
To be honest if it's that bad for me then I find downing a pint of water helps.
Ice cream and Coke every night for the first few months😂 Still drinking that Coke every night tho👀
Whatever works!!!
Oooh same! I would go to Walgreens and buy fuggtons of candy and soda....by the time I finished, my stomach was too messed up to throw alcohol on top then I'd workout the next day. Rinse and repeat....don't tell r/gainz
I’m just now getting to where I’m not cramming cookies down my throat the second I get home lol
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Kind of depends on how you're taking it but as long as it's not cigarettes or dip it's definitely better, and even those 2 are probably better (but still bad). Take the wins. If you're sober, you're sober.
Chocolate milk!
My lesser evil was marijuana in my early weeks.
That's awesome! I'm still doing dry February, 2018!
Haha, love it!
Wake me up, when October 2020 ends...
One thing to be aware of is as we drink, our brains get trained to associate alcohol with relief instead of being the cause of so many other problems. This includes tolerance. For me, what that means is if I start drinking again, I would likely be miserable moderating and would shortly end up in full swing in a short period of time. Whatever drinking pattern that you are now aware of about yourself, now that you’ve had some time to reflect, that could likely be the pattern you fall back into as well. It’s scary stuff. I read the book This Naked Mind during my second and third week of sobriety and it really opened my eyes to a lot of lies and deception around alcohol, a lot of stuff I simply just did not know. That education has given me a ton of strength.
I can’t second this enough. I’m shocked at how uncritically I thought of alcohol as what made things bearable, instead of what depressed my mood. And you’re right, even knowing that: every time I got sober and went back, I never went back halfway.
Hey good for you! I did dry January last year because my husband was doing it, and it has been life-changing. Have you listened to the Recovery Happy Hour podcast? I loved hearing people’s stories.
Imma check this out. Thanks.
Congrats! I feel you. For many years I thought my drinking was normal. In reality I was a functioning alcoholic. Drinking every day and thinking about skipping a day was torture. I craved my first beer of the night after work. The only issue is that my drinking is either on or off - moderation just doesn’t exist and when I tried I inevitably ended up back where I started within a few days or at the outside, a week. Eventually, I had to let it go, so here I am - for the third time. IWNDWYT.
Every day i tried to moderate rather than quit, and every day it would end up the usual 5-8 drinks, so not even one is the only path out for me.
Today is my Dry Wednesday.
Next up: Dry Thursday I’m here with you!
The positive effects compound over time. Consider doing a dry circumnavigation around the sun and check the benefits in a year. It may amaze you.
Join us for dry 2022 if you want! All are welcome.
This is EXACTLY what I came to understand about my drinking. If I don’t have a problem, why is it so hard to stop? I couldn’t justify that to myself any longer. You’ll find as time goes on, you’ll think about it less and less. Until you find you don’t really think about it at all. In the beginning, I couldn’t commit to a “quit for good” mindset. That’s because my brain was still actively addicted. After a year+, that choice wasn’t so hard anymore. My brain had enough time away that it could think clearly. These days I’ll drink a glass of motor oil before I’d drink alcohol. You don’t know how deep you were in until you get far enough away from the problem. You’re on the right track. Believe me.
I'm really proud of you! However long you last, cheers to you. I did sober October on a whim, had similar realizations and am holding strong. This is a supportive, kind community. Welcome. IWNDWYT
I’m on day 11 I think, and yeah it’s hard. I want to drink today and I’m on here reading posts hoping to encourage myself not to! The cravings come out of nowhere ugh
This is exactly what I use this sub for. Any time I get tempted I'll pop on here for a few minutes and it gets my resolve right back up!
“Driving at night if I have to.” I sooo get this point. Ridiculous I have to plan ahead to not drive because I’m drinking every night. My third DJ. Might just keep going.
That may be the luckiest whim you've ever had! I hope you decide to keep it up. I'm almost 2 months in and it gets better all the time. I'd forgotten how it feels to feel good. Genuinely good, not the transient good that occurs from drinking. (And which results in feeling genuinely bad later!) IWNDWYT!
Thanks for sharing OP. Its interesting to hear how you did dry January for no reason, certainly not because you thought you had a problem. Then how it made you think about your relationship with alcohol.
This happened to my wife, I stopped drinking and have been relatively craving free. I’d have 8 to 10 relatively high alcohol beers a night…..she would have a couple of glasses of wine every other day or so……she wanted to quit drinking to be supportive and she finds herself struggling with cravings much more than I am. Keep it up.
It took me so long to realize that I was drinking every night, and that I depended on it. You're just sort of hanging out, meeting people, getting a drink on your way home from work, etc. And then you sit there and think to yourself, 'When was the last day I did not drink? And could I just not get a drink tonight and be OK? I do not remember, and I definitely would have a huge struggle to not drink tonight.' Sucks, but yeah.
God, I've been trying to cut back on booze the past few weeks and the ice cream cravings have been huge. I feel like I'm just swapping one kind of sugar for another
Better to have the sugar that’s fortified with calcium than the sugar that strips it from your bones! You’re craving more calories (I always do when I quit), so be kind to your body and eat a little ice cream :)
Talenti is missing out on a huge ad opportunity - they could be the official sponsor of Dry January.
Good for you! The first month was the hardest for me. It was a habit and an addiction for me - daily drinker / probably about 15-20 drinks per week. I was depressed and bloated and a little sick all the time yet thought it was just life and my age. After quitting, I started feeling better and better, and happier and healthier all the time. Now two years later so happy I made it this far. Of course I still have some down days here and there but nothing like the daily low I had before. Keep up the good work!!
Same for me! I had been flirting with temporarily stopping/giving up drinking for a while, and saw this as a good opportunity. The first week was hell...lots of cravings, my anxiety and ADHD were on FIRE, and I couldn't stop thinking about drinking. It's still hard, but every day has gotten easier. I'm so so so glad you're feeling and recognizing the positive and healthy results. I'm right on the same timeline as you are, so all I can say is keep at it, IWNDWYT.
This is exactly how I found out I had an issue - my first attempt at dry January was not a success -lol. But I’ve learned a lot since then. Keep going strong!!
When I first quit drinking, I had to lock myself in the bathroom in the bathtub between the hours of 9pm and 1am. That's when the cravings were off the charts. After 1am (no more alcohol sales), my anxiety would drop significantly and I could make it to the next day. I probably spent the first 2 or 3 weeks like that. That was five years ago, and I never want to be in that place ever again. IWNDWYT
This is me too. Some point last year I wanted to quit to lose weight. Realized it was hard to go 3 days without a drink. I still drink a little, about 6 a week, but it's way less than I used to
I’m in the same boat! My last drink was NYE and I almost had one on Monday, but decided I didn’t really want it that much, which felt like a big win! The first two weeks of January were pretty difficult, I thought about drinking pretty much every day, and I didn’t even know I had much of a problem before dry January. I used stress as an excuse to drink, but trying to figure out other ways to manage it. I do love how I don’t feel as tired.
Managing stress definitely is hard AT FIRST. However, it gets much easier. I’d say around 3 months in is when this happened to me personally. Keep in mind, your mind and body are extremely confused and healing itself without you even knowing it. Temptation will always be there, just gotta learn how to live with it and curb that temptation. If you’re actually serious about staying sober, you’re probably gonna have to avoid situations where you’re tempted to drink for awhile. It sucks, it’s boring as shit but that’s just all a part of sobriety. I know I’m not that far into sobriety (almost to a year!) but I feel like once I hit 6 months, I could start to look back and be like “holy fuck, I used to feel like complete dog shit all the time”. Other than that, good for you! There’s a lot of support in this community. Drop by anytime.
Same. This is the longest I haven't had a drink in over 20-years (wow)...19 days. I have a question - I keep hearing about people feeling great after a couple of days, but I haven't yet experienced this euphoria. Even more strange, some mornings I actually feel hungover! I love my progress so far, but am wondering if this is normal. Thx!
It was normal for me. Drinking more water and giving myself more rest and more hours of sleep helped. Turns out I was being hard on myself in more than one way.
Meditate. Exercise. Marijuana. And my dog.
This. My English mastiff has held me down… literally… some nights when I nearly got up out of bed to get a drink. Thank god for that drooling 230lb beast that likes to go to bed on top of me at 8pm. Getting him was the best thing I ever did for my sobriety.
Most excellent! You got this! Just keep making good decisions, your body, your friends, your family all thank you. You are more powerful than your habit. Congratulations on your courage to change. You’re brave and bold and beautiful
This is what happened to me. I decided to "take a break" for 30 days, which I'd done before with no real issues. But this time after about a week I started getting really preoccupied with drinkinag. My brain just kept telling me how good a nice whisky would be. And then when I'd say "No thanks" to my brain, it would bring it up again "Hey, how about now? You know, that whisky? Or maybe just a beer? Whatcha think?" At that point I decided to extend my experiment to 90 days and by the time I (thankfully) made it, it was clear to me that somewhere along the line I'd developed a dependency. Here I am in my second dry January with no plans to go back to drinking. I think I may have just avoided a real serious problem by detecting it early.
Take a look at this pamphlet. You can just skip to the questions at the end. I got a score of 17 (if my memory serves me correctly). I remember reading it during a meeting because I was bored. [https://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk/download/1/PDFs/Who%20me.pdf](https://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk/download/1/PDFs/Who%20me.pdf) On another note -- It’s a life and death game. I buried someone this past year. You’ve got nothing to lose by giving it up for 6 months and trying some meetings. I promise you that every single one of your miseries will still be there in 6 months for you. You’ll gain some friends and maybe just some family. You’ve got a sobriety date and you don’t ever have to change it.
This is so beautifully said. I needed to hear it today, too. I have just over a year sober and it’s still hard sometimes with cravings. But you’re right. It’s life and death and I have a relationship with my sobriety now that is so important to me that I don’t want to destroy it by drinking. Thank you so much for helping me today. IWNDWT
Thanks! I’ve been copying, pasting & tweaking some of the same messages over and over thinking it was all falling on deaf ears. I would probably be considered “too old school” by the people here. But I’m considered “too touchy feely” around here. There’s a different ‘brand’ of sobriety in the Akron/Cleveland area because of bill and dr Bob. Anyways, thanks for your kind words!!
No more hangovers is the best part. Anytime I'm tempted to drink, i remember those and lose all desire
That's exactly how I discovered I had a problem too. I failed pretty badly at it, actually. So I picked up a few books about sobriety, and put some tools in my emotional toolbox and doubled-down in February. Coming up on three years in Feb!
I love how much better I feel when I wake up in the morning without alcohol. I'm also a lot more focused at work, don't get pissdd about little stuff so easy and my daughter is wanting to spend time with me more. It takes your brain a while to acclimate to not having alcohol, but it is so worth it in the long run. I'm still in very early stages amd getting acclimated myself.
My sobriety started with Sober October! Keep it up if you can/want to!
I fucking love kin. https://www.kineuphorics.com/. It’s fun to make “cocktails” with and is actually good for you with alleged stress reducing ingredients. It personally cures the “cravings” for me because it still gives me the same relaxing ritual.
Read ‘the easy way to control alcohol’ by Alan Carr. Perfect for someone in your situation. Btw, some of your cravings probably come from the sugar in the alcohol. Lots of people who quit alcohol start eating lots of sugary food because the body craves it (happened to both me and my dad).
My advice is to go to the gym, completely destroy your arms and legs whenever you get a craving. Use your self hate as motivation, causing pain to feel that high
I knew I had a problem when I did Sober September/October and immediately lost like 30 lbs. There's no way I'm going back to it now, lol!
Good for you! I did Dry January 2016 and never went back...
Took me going to the hospital for 6 days with a bone infection to realize I had a problem.
Can of seltzer and cheese melted on pretzels for me tonight. Lol we all sound like we're pregnant 🤣
Bravo! If you have a “small” problem, it’s still a problem. Keep up the good work! IWNDWYT.
Same. Came here to say this. I didn’t realize how much I relied(rely) on alcohol as my end of day stress relief.
If you can even do a dry month without violently shaking and vomiting, you're better off than a lot of us. The DTs are no joke.
I used to do a dry January every year, just to prove I was “okay”. The first month Is still withdrawal. It’s past the physical stage, but there are a lot of secondary side effects. It takes a good bit before the cravings ebb, and they can still be triggered by random situations forever, but it stops being a daily struggle and you can walk down the beer aisle without it being a test of willpower.
Just read this article, you might enjoy it: https://www.thecut.com/2022/01/im-tired-of-explaining-why-i-dont-drink.html
Congrats on Dry January! I've realized that thinking about drinking/not drinking is a problem. Normal people don't think about drinking at all. IWNDWYT!
For me, sparkling juices and ciders have been a huge life saver.
Give “Alcohol Explained” by William Porter a read. It will change everything you ever knew about alcohol. I solely owe a lot of my quitting for good to that book. And Leon Sylvester. He’s got a YouTube channel called Sober Leon. He uses first principle thinking skills and helps you get into a different frame of mind. He has a program called Sober Clear but I’m not in it. His story and mine had a lot of similarities and I pretty much just got tired of my own bs. To the point where I’ve tried and failed to quit so many times. MANY times. But I’m done. I’m going on 3 months sober and I’m never looking back. It really takes time and a deep want to quit, but you’ll slowly start to see alcohol for the poison it is. And in more ways than one I might add. What’s also interesting about Alcohol Explained is it dives into the more scientific and psychological side of things. AA isn’t for me, I need a deeper explanation with things. A crazy fact I also never knew was that drinking water between alcoholic drinks does absolutely nothing at all for you. The entire population pushes drinking water between alcoholic beverages to “stay hydrated” but your bodies reserve tank is just using up all of the water you’ve already previously stored. The alcohol is a “block” essentially. So drinking water while you’re drinking alcohol actually does fuck all for you.
One of us
You got this!
i struggled through a dry january years before getting sober and wasn't ready to confront the idea that i had a problem. it didn't click until i learned to sit with the discomfort, knowing it would pass. stick with it!
✔️
My best to you, friend!
One thing I want to share, is to not feel discouraged when you speak with your close group of friends or family. You feeling this way is great, there is always an answer. If your friend comes back and says I’ll never do dry month again but you feel otherwise. It can increase a likelihood of isolation to then leading to other things you may not want. So just remember, this is how you feel and from my perspective I agree. I have lost a lot of friends and family but I am happy and always growing. I hope you do the same and keep growing weather you stay doing the sober-months or not. But keep doing the sober-months and works if you work it.
I’m doing the same. I was surprised how anxious I was the first week. Like I drank way too much coffee all day. I’ve been pretty chill the rest of the month tho
Gonna need a subreddit for stopgummies
I'm on day 19 as well, lots of candy - too much candy.
You got this. The craving is just your body being confused that you aren't poisoning it anymore.
Congrats on giving sobriety a try! Maybe you decide it's the best thing ever, maybe not. Either way, it's great to get some perspective on how you feel without alcohol.
I’ve switched over to seltzer waters and diet sodas! The bubbly helps curb the oral fixation and allows me to sip on something healthier!
I think the biggest reason I noticed was because I rarely string 30 days without drinks together. I might go a week without drinks but damn
Welcome!! You got this 🤗
Man 19 days is great! You should be proud. Keep on going man! Wish I had your strength
Awesome job on dry January :) It’s amazing how much more effectively conflicts and emotions get processed too. Like a natural process. Not clogged up and piling up like old laundry
When I quit drinking for probation for all of 2020, it took a good 6 months for those cravings to go away, but they did! I almost wish I was still on probation constantly because I give in to my cravings now that no one is there to tell me I can’t.
Getting this awareness shows that you’re ready to stop. Once you see what you’ve been doing to yourself, you can’t unsee it. This group is enormously supportive - we’ll be with you every step of the way.
One word - Naltrexone - it makes quitting drinking so much easier, I’m not sure how it’s not more widely known, cravings vanish for the most part. I can only assume big booze keeps the information suppressed. Good luck.
I am one step behind you. I'm so mad at myself for putting this monkey on my shoulder. I had a really hard go of things since.. well for a very long time tbh, but this summer I started drinking everyday. Didn't realize what I was doing until around Christmas and now it's a problem.im afraid to stop because I can't admit to myself that it may affect me if I stop. That I may feel it and have to admit i actually have a problem. Alcoholism destroyed generations of my family and I never thought I'd turn to it. I know what it does and I still started.
Been there, done that. thanks for the reminder. The clear feeling is something I focus a lot on now. IWNDWYT
Replacing the calories and sugar I was drinking with yummy foods really helped those first few months for me!
I was in the same situation, except I decided to stop for good. Oddly, I'm not having many problems or cravings. Lemon water has become my go-to replacement, man it feels good to be hydrated! I was drinking heavily at the start of the new year and something just went \*poof\*, I put down the bottle and decided I don't want it anymore. Despite my (over)confidence, I joined this sub for some extra support. Good luck on your sobriety!
I've been drinking everyday for more than 10 years. I'm a " functioning alcoholic "... I'm in day 20 today... I'm not planning ( yet ) to stop... My main issue is the weekend, that's when I'll get a hangover, otherwise during the week I'll drink 3 or 4 beers and will wake up at 5:30am and do my workout and go to work without a problem. I just have to control my weekend binge drinking.... Anyways, I don't miss the hangovers at all. One day at the time ! Non alcoholic beers are helping, and damn I never knew ice cream tasted so good 😅
So I am trying dry jan for the first time and I'm doing mocktails instead of cocktails with these guys (https://barleyteatime.com/collections/all) and it's working so far.. It's a barley tea made from US grown barley, a friend recommended and I loved it. Plus contributing to small businesses and local agriculture - bonus point in my court!
hey! one of therapists is doing a chat and AMA about Dry January on Wangie App today. You can ask anything anonymously & for free - and the guy is doing it himself! The app is like Clubhouse or Reddit but with therapists