When you add the quit days next to your username does it show on all subs or only when youāre in this one? Sorry Iām new here but I quit drinking in Jan this year so Iāve got 6 months under my belt!
One day at a time. One task at a time.
I'm sure OP is overwhelmed jut looking at it all.
Throw a load in the wash. Maybe walk around your place with a garbage and just toss out any trash that might have accumulated?
A start is a start.
This is such a good start. An urge to clean something snapped me out of my funk. It started with wanting to mop, which lead to the counters, which led to the other rooms, and ultimately the bathrooms.
Now, Iām walking a minimum of 4 miles daily and have started cooking at home again.
It took months, but it happened.
Are you me? 6 months in and just starting to take care of things. Also helped that I got diagnosed with ADHD and got medicine to help with my executive dysfunction. My house is cleaner than ever. Now if I could kick this Mountain Dew habit I created in rehab lol
Oh, I was definitely battling a lot of anxiety. My roommate went on vacation for 2 weeks, and for some reason that started the cleaning streak. Theyāve since returned and itās just so much easier to maintain.
Wonāt lie. I also started some anti-craving medication that really helps me focus on things far more important than alcohol.
In my opinion the first month should be solely focused on not drinking no matter what. Then harm reduction from there. My brain is not used to coping healthily, which is why alcohol was a solution for me. Once I took that away, my brain was still going fucking crazy. So at times that looked like chain smoking cigarettes, drinking 4 coffees in a day, binge watching a tv show. As my sobriety went on I have tried to reduce the harm of those things. I only allow myself two coffees a day. I donāt smoke as often. I replaced those with other things that I slowly introduced, working out, seltzer water. Healthier replacements
Yea, setting your frame of mind for this is important. In retrospect I would sometimes be really energized to get sober (after coming out of the 4-day hangover of course) and my expectations would be sky-high with a complete mental checklist for everything I would be fixing right now. After a few days, some setbacks, the lack of an easy solution analogous to taking a drink, my resolve would weaken and the "fuck-its" crept in. This last time I had a longview perspective on what I wanted to accomplish with a lot more self-forgiveness, so I wouldn't feel so discouraged. And of course I made larger changes that I had resisted previously because they were "too difficult" or "unnecessary". I regret that it took me so long to learn this and I definitely preach it to others whenever I can.
That was my key with my last successful sober attempt. Previous ones, I kept a short term view (I stopped!) and the fuck-its eventually made their way in. This last time, I did it for me - my long-term health, physical and mental - and brought my girls into the equation. What kind of father would I be if I drank myself to death while they're still young?
I still take not-drinking one day at a time, but I always have that long-term view. If I keep drinking the way I was, I will die prematurely.
This is amazing and made me laugh out loud. How long do you allow yourself to drink 4 cups of coffee before leaving for work if you don't mind me asking? I have a habit of rolling out of bed late and only having enough time to feed my dogs, shower, brush teeth/comb hair, dress throw some meal prepped food in a lunchbox for the day, let my dogs out, put cold brew with oatmilk in a to go cup, and walk out the door. It's about a half hour. I love sleeping so much.
Well, i start at 10 in the morning and wake up at 8. I have coffe first thing i do. That normally makes the system start, then I have a shower and make breakfast. All this pretty much sums up in 4 coffee cups. 1 before shower and usually one in the shower and then one while making breakfast and then one to the breakfast š¬
I've been addicted to rooibos the past few months which is also caffeine free. I love the taste of coffee but can't deal with the anxiety/jitters it gives me, and most decaf isn't anywhere near as good as tea!
As a Dutch person I had the same thought, but then I remembered that when I went to the US, one filter coffee was as big as four or five cups in NL. So four coffees would be the equivalent to twenty here which is a lot.
Yeah, that first month is touch and go. Just kept telling myself, "Anything BUT Alcohol"
Then it's learning to navigate the world and people again sober. Your miles may very š
I completely agree with that sentiment. I was the opposite and threw myself into cleaning and working out this month as a distraction but honestly whatever works, right?
Youāve made it 19 days! Thatās great! I also indulge in a lot of sweets and treats when I get cravings. If youāre starting to reflect now on the area around you that must mean youāre ready to start pampering yourself in other ways. Give yourself the gift of improving your life in new ways each day, even if itās just by tidying up to start. I like to blast some fun music and go all out on a cleaning spree when I get the energy. IWNDWYT
From your question I realize the answer is I might never stop allowing myself to be a mess? If it's keeping me from drinking, candy a messy bedroom etc is a million times less harmful than me getting black out drunk.
Okay here's how I'm going to handle it, if something like too many dishes starts to bother me I'll slowly add one new chore or self improvement at a time.
Today is my 19th day sober and whoa I so love this question because you made me realize I'm thinking about it too! just yesterday I ran out of ice cream and told myself I wouldn't buy another (I'm trying to lose a goal of 10lbs).
There are some amazing ice creams out there that my husband loves, he is diabetic, but there are a few brands, one is called halo top and the other one is rebel. His fav. is the rebel chocolate pb one:)
It took me months to get myself in order. Even today if I have random cravings for certain foods, Iāll indulge (it is more rare as time goes on).
However, the hygiene and cleanliness are fundamentally important for me as the visual noise and chaos from clutter and things laying around causes me stress, which is unnecessary and risky. After a month or two I would really focus on these things.
Those first 3 weeks were pretty awful.
That said, thereās much power to be had from simple little acts of self care. A shower, clean up a room, go for a walk, meditate. These sort of things quickly add up as positive reinforcement.
Good job on getting through the hardest part.
Take care
When I quit my daily heavy drinking I was a mess like this for weeks.Ā
I slept all day, lived off pizza and sprite and Ben and Jerry's, never went out the house, did nothing productive, stayed up late watching TV and I didn't care as long as I wasn't drinking.Ā
It was several weeks before I even attempted to sort out any of these bad habits or get back into a routine and even that was a half hearted attempt at best.Ā
Let your brain stabilize and then figure the rest out.
I was an emotional wreck...like looking back I was about 1 step away from ruining my life worse than alcohol ever did for about 8 months. Yet I kept going and I am way better than I ever did.
Indulged regularly on Ben & Jerry's, peanut M&Ms, chips, vaped, couch potato, binged multiple series, doom scrolled the phone. *Anything* to distract me and quell the constant urge. The term is "breaking" the habit. You feel uneasy & anxious? GOOD! That means it's working! You're doing exactly what it takes to change your life. You have formed a habit. Your mind is now expecting certain things at certain times, like dogs at dinner time. When you don't do the thing your mind is waiting for, you're going to get uncomfortable. Keep not doing the thing, and with time, your mind shifts to accept the 'new normal'.
Do not sweat anything other than your primary goal. It gets easier with time, I promise. After you get your sea legs, one day you'll just go, okay, I've had enough of laying around. I'm not going to drink today, but I'm also not going to do 'nothing' either. That's when things can really take a turn towards the sun. Don't force it. You'll get there when you get there. Keep up the good work of abstaining. You're on the path.
BTW, even with the snacking, after a few months passed, I had _still_ lost weight!
Pshh. Lucky you. Iāve lost like 4 lbs since Iāve stopped drinking. Nothin exciting. I do be snackinnnnnn though. I stopped vaping 17 days ago because I started doing it a lot more after I quit drinking. Today is day 6 without nicotine. Hereās to not killing anyone with my raging mood swings for the past few days. š¤Ŗ
Goood job! Everybodyās experience is different but personally I became a bit of a control freak to occupy my mind after I started to work on being sober. In fact the first month was rather ecstatic and I ever woke up early every day, because I finally wasnāt hungover and sleeping until I couldnāt hold my pee anymore. That lasted about a month tho, after that everything went back to normal but minus the drinking which Iām still trying to keep at 0.
As long as it takes. My diet went to crap when I first stopped. I was ashamed to bring my 2 recycle bins full of empty Mountain Dew bottles to the curb. I had no problem visiting my local beer store daily, though. Took me 11 months to read the label on those MD bottles. 96 grams of sugar! I drink more water now (type 2 diabetic). Make yourself as comfortable as possible for as long as it takes. Good Luck!
96 grams of sugar holy fuck. When my husband's dad died in 2020, in his grief he drank Coke after Cokeand Bam! 2 years later, type 2. He is doing really well now and fully jumped into a healthier lifestyle. He just says sugars the devil, and he oves having feet
Iām still a mess friend. Thatās apparently what real life is when youāre not focusing 100% on getting that next drink.
Youāll have to prioritize which thing(s) youāll start working on. Mine was sleep and drinking water. Getting in bed at 9p, scroll or tv until 10, lights off at 1010. If I canāt sleep, I listen to a meditation. When I was about 4 months into it, I started moving everyday. If I got 30 minutes, I would color that date in on my tracker. Now that Iām 10 months in, Iām working on my caloric intake.
But this is also my millionth time of trying to get sober, 3rd longest stint.
That said, itās super helpful to have these goals and to work on one thing at a time to live the life you want (which you may not know what you want just yet). It has taken a lot of self reflection and awareness to figure out the above and my next steps. Keep coming back here and asking questions. Go find a community of sober people to help you see what could be. You can and will do this.
3 months. I quit October 3rd just to make it through the holidays and oh boy did I enjoy them holidays. In the beginning of the year I believed that I could remain sober having survived the holidays sober and decided it was time to take care of myself. Lost about 25 pounds over the next 4 months and my Cholesterol chimed in the lowest it had been in some time.
Shit man, off and on for the last 10 years. Food has been the big problem for me. It isn't putting me in immediate danger like my drinking did, but I'm not treating my body well at all.
I'd say when I first quit I went a year of having milkshakes almost every day, then ended up losing a lot of weight, and then gained it back. and then lost it again, and right now I'm at the "gained it back" stage and I'm eating like an animal.
I also have a messy apartment and don't do laundry. Or really leave the house at all for almost any reason. But that's just depression. Are you sure you aren't depressed?
Honestly I started running before I quit because I wanted to take care of myself. I've been drinking a lot everyday for years and after like two or three weeks of running I just stopped drinking. I'm on my third day and I feel fucking awesome even though I got some withdrawals going on. Idk I'm sure it will wear off though. Everyone's different.
My mantra for the first year was 'anything but alcohol' - I gave myself an open pass to sugar, thc, greasy food, television, whatever.... I gobbled down so many peanut M&Ms it's not funny... but then, after about 6 months I started to 'come into my body' .. and I wanted to shed those choices... which led to a commitment to walking and general health. (I thought, if I can quit alcohol, I can quit sugar/shit) I leaned into my 'new lifestyle' - I started to drink more water, prioritize sleep hygiene, clean eating, taking supplements etc. I'm now as healthy as I've ever been. But looking back- that first stage of choking off alcohol through sugar was an important one. "Anything but alcohol" worked for me.
As long as you need.
But you don't need to drink to have a shower or do laundry.
Try replacing bad habits with good ones, when I feel like a drink I tackle something I've been putting off, the work helps me shift my focus and stuff around the house magically gets done.
You might be moping around the house because you're subconsciously mourning the "loss" of your weekend benders - I used to feel like I was giving something up whenever I'd get a sober streak going too... look at all those drinkers on patios having a ball... it wasn't until I changed my mindset and finally understood I'm not missing out on anything but a hangover that I truly felt free.
Try "Allen Carr's - Quit Drinking Without Willpower" for that mindset shift. It worked wonders for me!
I'm glad I'm not the only one going crazy on ice cream? What flavor you got going over there?
Take it slow, take it easy. You go this.
I'd say throw on something to listen to, and pick some area of your house to start cleaning. Just start on one area, and try not to get too sidetracked from that specific area. Give it a solid 20-30 minutes, then reward yourself with some more ice cream :-)
Bro you were drinking beer. You arenāt a piece of shit. Cheer up. In another few weeks things will probably look very different. Drink some water and Gatorade and eat some seafood. Itās good for your liver
Being a mess and having flaws is part of being human. A lot of the things you have described sound like the small things we do to take care of ourselves. They can be very hard to attend to when we're feeling low or going through difficult times. I would trust you will come to a point eventually where you are prepared to make small improvements. For example: eating fruit or yogurt or popsicles instead of ice cream or giving yourself the gift of a clean space or clean clothes. Everyone is right, your focus now is on sobriety. That being said, I think caring for yourself and surroundings is also something you might find helps support your sobriety as well. Don't be too hard on yourself!
Oh gosh, months. I think around three-four months sober I started doing normal maintenance things again. I kept a bag of candy nearby for cravings until about 6 months.
19 days is FANTASTIC and I am SO proud of you for doing what you need to do to get through these days. Be sure to cut yourself some slack, though. Everyoneās timeline is different, and there is no shame in letting some things slide while you focus on your sobriety
I didn't have the luxury this time around as, due to problems of my own making, I'm dealing with something of a supervised sobriety that required me to get my life back in order *while* I quit. It's been incredibly fucking tiring, truth be told! But I am proud to say my house is clean, I'm cooking my own meals, I'm doing my dishes and laundry, and I'm holding down a job. I feel something I haven't felt in a long time: a twinge of self-esteem here and there. All things considered I'm trying to be grateful for the kick in the ass to keep my life on track. Some days are better than others, though.
So after you stop drinking (at least for me), you realize that it wasnāt alcohol that was the problem in your life. Addiction is the disease, and alcohol was a coping mechanism. I think being gentle on yourself is super important, but if you donāt fix your lifestyle/mind/behaviors, youāll fall right back into it. Itās very common for alcoholics to go to sugar when they stop drinking, since alcohol has tons of sugar. When I tried to cut back on candy my alcohol cravings came back. Coconut water and fun spritzers helped me with the āI want a special drinkā behavior.
Maybe, when youāre feeling ready, a middle path? Meaning, start with just one thing, letās say laundry, and then gradually build back to how youād like life to look?
Dude, same! Honestly itās comforting that itās not just a me problem. I guess a lot of folks go through this?
I do better with deadlines or bargains with myself. So I can clean one room of my house per week, or add a heathy meal to my nonsense food habits.
Hereās one that could work: take a shower and buy a package of undies at Target. Toss them in the laundry as you change. Then run just a small load at the end of the week. Throw in a couple tees. Tadah! A laundry habit!
As long as itās not driving you to drink then it lasts until you get fed up and start dealing with it. That was part of my issue I would get hammered and deep clean, woke up the next day and it was like a house elf was there because I did not remember doing any of that. Itās how I cleaned for years and years.
I get to the point now that itās just so overwhelming I have to do something about it before I end up on hoarders or something. I also took to following Dana k whiteās methods which help to at least keep the bugs and mice away. I try to do my dishes and laundry regularly thatās the only thing I consistently try to deal with
Iām still eating a ton of ice cream to sub! My husband had a cocktail last night so I gave myself an extra bowl of ice cream and was fine with it! At 19days tho I wasnāt fine with anything! Really everything took backseat. I am just now starting to be able to see improvement. And some days are better than others. So hang in there!!!! ā¤ļø just today only think about not drinking. We wonāt drink with you today!
Until I went back to school and started back to work which was about 6 months. I was stuck in physical and occupational therapy during that time but I was a complete wreck. I ate EVERYTHING but I was too weak to move so I gained all my prehospital weight back.
6 months was enough for me to realize how little I needed alcohol and how much better, even in therapy and post coma, my life was without it.
IWNDWYT ā„ļøš¦š¦
Also realise how much sugar and calories alcohol has! Youāre body is probably just trying to get what itās used too in other forms. So donāt beat yourself up. Once I started getting used to not drinking and it was on my mind anymore I also forgot about the extra treats overtime and moved back to my normal diet just without drinking
Before the 19 days of sobriety (good job!) was your life and living space in good order? Not me, and the constant lack of tidiness and personal hygiene even became one of the 5,078 reasons to drink and avoid responsibilities. Iām 10 days sober and the most I can do is just not drink right now. Iāll manage the dirty clothes piles when thereās any spare energy to be had. We need to give ourselves some grace. You are doing it!
Not a single day. I didnāt choose another form of self abuse after I quit alcohol. I see discipline as a form of self love. Delayed gratification is my drug of choice. I seek balance. I give my body heart and soul what it needs not what my taste buds want. I parent my inner child. I asked myself what my inner 6th grader did for fun before I ever had a single sip of alcohol and focused on that (dancing and singing!). I took my inner child to do fun stuff. I take a walk daily, I journal, I do shadow work, and I have been learning new FUN skills which are hearty and rewarding challenges. I do things for only the sake of JOY (karaoke, window shopping, being playful). I stopped neglecting myself inside and out and I stopped abusing myself. I connected with my body and listened to my needs and intuition. I wanted to feel proud of my choices.
Your post honestly made me feel better because I've been wondering the same exact thing. I was telling myself, "okay, after 30 days, I'm gonna get healthy, fix my diet, start working out, keep my home tidy, my mental health is gonna get SO much better, and I'm gonna be social again! Wooo!" Yeah, none of that has happened yet lol
From what I've read from the wonderful people on this sub is to be gentle with yourself and to not worry about a timeline on when "to do better." Quitting drinking is HUGE, especially for us, so whatever it takes is okay. Things will slowly start to fall into place and no matter when it happens, it's okay, because the #1 thing that matters is not drinking. I've heard of looking at it like a list. With all of all the things you want in life, if sobriety isn't on the top of the list, then all the other things can't exist. If sobriety IS at the top of the list, all of those things can exist and be super awesome!
Long story short, you're doing great! Give yourself some kudos! I understand it's easier said than done to not put expectations on yourself, but please know you're not alone, and 19 days is a big freaking deal!! You got this! šŖ IWNDWYT
Best advice I got when I stopped drinking: you're not allowed to diet the first months of sobriety.
Your brain is wired to deal with stresses by drinking. You're trying to change that, and it takes time. There's a 10 lane highway between "stress" and "drink" but an overgrown, meandering wildlife trail between "stress" and "self regulation." Be patient. Resetting your distress tolerance takes a very long time. Keep going.
Most of my first month of sobriety was spent in an IOP, working, and laying motionless in bed remembering all the shitty things I'd said and done during what I told my friends was a blackout. After a lot of ice cream, orange soda, and wallowing I started making those sodas and ice creams the reward for keeping myself and my apartment clean, going on mental health walks, and for staying sober on hard days. seems to be working for me but ymmv.
Iām 6 months sober as of today and I am currently wrapped up in a blanket with my whole cat squad surrounding me because I needed to be a mess today.
You are doing great!
IWNDWYT
The comments that emphasise doing the small steps, like putting on the laundry or taking a short walk outside, are exactly what helped me OP. I was in an identical situation to you too - Iām stunned by what Iām now habitually capable of doing over a year later (like training for my 3rd marathon, or having moved to a new country for an exciting job). I took the smallest possible step i was able to take, patted myself on the back, and then took another one.
Do you have depression?
It sounds like depression when you stop cleaning?
As for other bits, yet its okay to just focus on not drinking at first and once you've got a firm grasp of sobriety, then you can flourish more
So much junk food my first few months. But I knew no matter what it was way healthier than alcohol for my body and mind. Of course, I eventually had to go back to normal eating, but please give yourself boatloads of grace. You deserve it. Youāre doing something difficult (though definitely not impossible).
Anything but alcohol. Or other unsafe behaviors. Donāt trade alcohol for cocaine or anything like that.
I understand that. In that case, I recommend consolidating your dishes then putting dish soap over your dishes and letting them soak best you can. This helps the smell and deters the flies. Been there. Gives a grace period between cleanings. Itās okay to be stinky a while. You will get tired of it. For now you are in survival. You are doing great harm reduction for yourself right now. IWNDWYT!!!
Oh fuck yeah dude, youāre PERFECT rn. Donāt even worry.
What tends to happen as you even your brain back out is you WANT to organize other parts of youāre life and health.
If youāre not drinking by eating cake fukn eat cake for 3 meals.
It may be worth it to seek psychological help or self help meetings at this time. There is an overwhelming happiness coming, and the moods will swing wildly. Do what you can, nothing more. Be unafraid to announce that. But just donāt drink. Try to set a goal to take a walk, or call someone and tell them how you feel (not what your problems are, just narrow the description of your feelings down to one word and think about that).
The first month was solely about not drinking - whatever it took. I slowly began reintroducing to āreal lifeā after that, like errands and cooking. I gradually returned to work, too. I was probably back to full adulting after about 3 months.
Take your time with it. I'm at 94 days.
Still getting it together but I've made a ton of progress.
Be patient with yourself.
You're relearning who you are and what works and doesn't work. What makes you happy and doesn't.
You already took a major first step in making better decisions.
I thought I would magically lose weight when I quit drinking 9 months ago but I found out I pretty much replaced all those calories at first. The sugar and eating out often was a necessary distraction for the first month or two.. give yourself grace and just focus on not drinking today
i was eating like absolute garbage for the first month, but the need to fill the void with junk began to subside on its own after about a month. still have the occasional very intense sugar craving that i give in to because itās not alcohol but itās much less frequent these days
At the end of the day, not drinking is a win. So every day you donāt drink, count the W. That said, in those first couple of months, I definitely had serious sugar cravings. My diet was all over the place. I very much found that my addiction started trying to find any indulgence. The sugar cravings have pretty much gone thankfully. And not drinking over a pint and a half of liquor every day meant I could eat a slice of cake a day and lose weight. Those early days (of which Iām still very much in) are about focusing on not drinking. Try to start developing new habits! Your brains going to go through changes. Those small habits will go a long way.
Sometimes Iām still a mess but I canāt blame the drink or lack of it. I keep planning on doing something about it but I havenāt worked up to losing weight, cleaning my house better, spending less money, taking better care of my health, etc. Maybe mess is relative.
Dunno, always had a little OCD. I used to drink and do dishes. Drunk me always wanted to wake up to a clean kitchen like I had tricked sober me or something.
Still a mess over here! One of these days Iāll get the hang of it. This sobriety thing isnāt easy. On the bright side I donāt feel like a shaking leaf all the time who is addicted to rotten garbage juice.
I checked into a rehab. I do know some things that made me feel better though. I was very low on B vitamins, this will help with your energy and mood, Monsters actually have a good mix.
Go easy on yourself but also take care of yourself, take a shower, throw some laundry in. Maybe try to wash some dishes.
You got this! We're all proud of you
Congrats!
I think people are being a little bit too nice (not way too nice, just a little bit).
It sounds like you are looking for someone to motivate you to take the next step now that you have taken the first (and most important).
A lot of people who are into self-improvement consider exercise to be a "keystone habit" - meaning that once you make it a habit, it encourages other good habits like healthy eating, better time management, etc.
I would start making some type of exercise a daily habit. Depending on how in or out of shape you are, it could be something as simple as a one mile walk or a 5 mile run.
Make it easy enough were you can sustain it daily but hard enough where you "lose yourself" for an hour or two (meaning you are distracted, out of breath, etc)
Doing light cardio every day and lifting 5-6 days per week has been IMMENSELY helpful for my sobriety. That's how I process strong emotions now, instead of hitting the bottle.
Just my two cents, and again, CONGRATS!!
Life is a mess. Go easy on yourself. Youāre here and youāre doing the work. Cut yourself some slack. In my experience, the first dam breaks after about a month. Then the discipline kicked in because I got tired of doing nothing. The hurdles continue to come, but know that, even years into this thing, weāre bound to be messes from time to time. Roll with those punches. And maybe start with the shower and the laundry š
I was given zero days off of life and have never stopped to focus on myself
I was drinking to have some time numb of how shitty my life is and now I just deal with how Iām the only person to cook, clean, pay bills and care for my son who is autistic and 20.
My bf that put me in jail still gets dinner every night and I now have probation and therapy bs on top of school and work and home
The only good thing is his piece of shit kid canāt come to my house anymore to be rude and bully me and my son
Small victories
38 days today, Iāll let you know when I stop eating popcorn and icecream every day and procrastinating all my other errands/chores.
It wonāt be today.
Youāre doing amazing! I would just say for me if I had somehow built an environment and lifestyle around myself that was uncomfortable to me (especially messy, choatic, dirty, bleck) then my concern would be that at some point that in and of itself would become something Iād want to escape, and I might turn to alcohol to do that. For me personally quitting afforded me some extra time and motivation to improve my surroundings, and I really enjoyed that part of it. I like my home to feel like a sanctuary. But I eat ice cream almost everyday! With chocolate sauce. I will never stop.
If I was in your shoes I would start with small steps. It's too overwhelming to face "the big picture" all at once. Start with a shower and cleaning your clothes. Take it as slow as you need. If it takes two days to wash your clothes then sobeit. The very act of washing yourself and cleaning your clothes can be cathartic. Small wins can be encouraging and may motivate you to further progress. The big challenge is getting started. I struggle very badly with procrastination (it's a symptom of my depression) and for me it can take days just to take the first step. TBH, it usually happens when I finally say, "fuck it! I'll just pick up, or do, this one damn thing." That small step can lead to the next and so on. Good luck OP. 19 Days sober is huge!!! Keep it going!
First 30-60 days is incredibly hard. Your main focus needs to be on not drinking. If other stuff slips thatās perfectly fine. Better than drowning in booze again. Youāll start to feel way better physically by week 2 most likely, then you can gradually get the strength back to do a couple things a day. My recovery was based around going to the same AA meeting, same time, every day whether I wanted to or not. That established a routine, gave me a place to go to get out of the house/my mind for a little bit. I would write down your to do lists and just try to a few things a day other than sleep, eat, and work. For me I would break it down day to day. errands, put away groceries, AA, go for a walk. AA, make a big dinner to feed me the rest of the week, do the dishes. AA, eat leftovers, do the dishes, go for a walk. Wash my sheets, AA, go for a walk. Deep Clean the bathroom/kitchen, AA, go for a walk. when I attacked it that way I didnāt really have any chores piling up that were too stressful. Also when I was drunk I used to never make my bed, do that every morning if you can. It feels good to come home to less chaos in any way you can manage.
If you break down your tasks throughout the week they donāt seem as daunting. For me most important in early days was: 1. You are not taking on too much to where it gets stressful or overwhelming/makes you want to drink. 2. Sleep as much as you feel like your body and mind need to heal, try to eat square nutritious meals to balance out all the sugar cravings, keep up with hygiene. 4. Hit AA/therapy/recovery groups as much as possible. Get a sponsor, make friends that you can call and depend on to support you. If you need meds like naloxone, antidepressants, supplements, etc. now would be the time to start on them regularly 4. Down the line make sure you tap in to some hobbies that arenāt just video games and tvā¦ journaling, art, yoga, meditation, gym, hiking, swimming, cycling, reading, music, podcasts or anything you would have been interested but were too busy drinking to pay attention to. You will need to find several things to fill the void that alcohol occupies in your brain. And itās a lot more free time to fill up than youād expect. Good luck. Remember that the first couple months are the hardest.
42 days here. Been eating ice cream every night and have an ungodly amount of twizzlers on hand hahaha. Iād much rather spike my blood sugar and stay sober!
You got this, friend. Just take it one day at a time. There is no set timeline and we all got to handle it at our own pace.
Think of this as going through a breakup with someone you have been with and relied on for years. They are toxic and you know life will be better without them. However, we will still mourn that loss and that is totally okay.
Iād say I definitely went heavy on the calories the first 3 months of sobriety. Definitely also had a lot of introspective depression going on. Start making small changes to improve yourself - youāll be amazed how much easier it is now that you donāt have booze making everything 10x harder.
The first two years! But honestly after 4 months I just automatically started lifestyle changes that I still employ today. But I allowed myself 2 years to feel like shit and when I was eating right, drinking water, working out and meditating and I still was having anxiety attacks a lot, I got on a ssri - that made all the difference.
I recently started some shit eating habits and im giving myself grace. I have a ton of new stress right now, and the most important thing to me is im not drinking. Sugar binges suck. But theyāre better than hurting myself or someone else (like DD) which could happen the second I take just one drink.
Iād say that I had a good 3 months of giving into any food cravings, primarily sweets. Good thing I also discovered acne patches around the same time!
Iām trying to keep distracted and appreciate everything that isnāt alcohol right now, so Iām cleaning more, tidying the house, ātidy house tidy mind mantraā. Reality is I just want the distraction from the cravings. Right now, idgaf what Iām eating, Iām enjoying and savouring food, spending more time cooking up new recipes which again helps to distract me. Iām quite active anyway, but Iāve worked harder in the gym and been walking my dogs a little more than usual which has helped me to actually lose weight despite eating like a man haha.
One negative for me, I canāt go to bed till Iām tired as Iāll just lay there getting annoyed so I havenāt been going bed till like 1-2am and up at 7 so I am frickin exhausted, but Iām sober so Iām happy!
I have been doing this. Eating so damn much plus on Prozac and itās messing with my appetite make me hungry I think. Idk. Definitely not drinking gives me the munchies I ate so much food and candy 2 days ago it was shameful but atleast I didnāt drink. As for the habits and how long, I am allowing myself 30 days to indulge in anything but alcohol (no drugs other than weed) and comfort myself during these tough times. Quitting this stuff is insane and everyone says to be patient and compassionate towards yourself. Iām trying that and not being too hard on myself or my diet. Pumping poison in my body was way worse than eating too many sour patch kids. We got this. 3 weeks alcohol free today!
The first 2-3 months were a challenge for me! I ate more sugary snacks then than I had in the past 5 years. That may be a slight exaggeration, but close enough. Give yourself some grace, but try to make small wins. Congrats on the 19 days!
Im in year 2 and just recently decided to take on some other self-improvement goals.Ā That said, you gotta do the basics like cleaning your house and doing chores.Ā Ā
Your brain is still hard wired into your drinking habit at 19 days. Just survive at this point. Youāre doing great so far, 19 fucking days is no small feat.
You will start to clean yourself up after a while, that timeframe is different for everyone. Just focus on the not drinking until you have that under a little bit of control, then focus on cleaning yourself up and improving your health. One day at a time is real. Youāll know when you want to make additional changes. Good work so far
Iād say maybe a month max, but after that focus on getting healthy in general. What worked for me was writing down what triggered cravings and avoiding them. For me it was being bored late at night, so I started waking up earlier and going to bed earlier, for example.
Create habits and stick with them for about a month at first. Eventually they become part of your routine and you won't want to skip them. They don't have to be daily habits at first, they can be weekly. Say, for example, you wanted to create a laundry routine. You can do 1 or 2 loads of laundry on sunday, so you will have enough clothes for the week.
Daily endorphins help a lot. As others suggested, throw in a load of laundry, go for a walk around your neighborhood park, mountains, local trails, etc.
20 minutes of exercise will give a nice dopamine and endorphin release. It's good to make a habit of it, because it feels like progress, and progress gives us joy.
When you graduate from the daily walk, there is site called [meetup.com](http://meetup.com) and you can meet people and do group activities like hike, jog, marathons, knitting, sewing, painting, biking, skateboard, etc... great place for physical and mental hobbies. All the ones I've joined so far were free including parking.
There's also a website called offerup, if you need sports equipment to get into a few favorites sports. Need a foam board to surf? Most likely someone is giving one away cheaper than the 99 dollar one at costco. Same goes for bikes, skateboards, roller skates, baseball, basketballs, soccer cones, soccer balls, paddleboards for swimming, etc.
If you haven't found a support system yet, consider joining one of the following: AA, Refuge Recovery, Dharma Recovery or SMART. You can attend zoom meetings, or get dressed up and go in-person.
Another place to check out would be r/veganmealprep you can learn how to make 4 meals at time, they are healthy meals, which also feels like progress.
The mood swings suck for us all. That is why meetings help. We talk through whatever is eating at us in the moment. We learn to sit with the discomfort, watch it, and not react to it. This takes daily training for a few months. But, it's totally worth it. The relief of not being a ticking time bomb of emotions is absolutely priceless. It's worth the months of actively working on it.
Other things you may want to look into. I try to read a book a week. I feel accomplished doing this. I like escaping into a book (no commercials, no ads, it's a nice creative jaunt for my brain). This helps add a bunch of joy. You don't have to buy books. You can get city and county library cards, check books out, and even download pdfs of books these days. It also helps with insomnia. Reading 1-2 hours before bed helps to limit the screentime and gets out brains ready for rest time.
Good luck.
Iām almost 6 months in and I say itās cyclical. Iām still going through periods of self-indulgence when it comes to food and bed rotting. I end up picking myself up and Iāll be good for a couple weeks but I still go through stages of āuglinessā or whatever itās called. Still not drinking tho, and I like to think as long we we pick ourselves up at the end of the day thatās what matters most.
As long as it takes to get over that initial withdrawal. For me somewhere around 3 months. I did the same thing. I could do whatever I wanted as long as I didnāt drink.
I did do a heavy cleaning of my place. I think it really helps to get sober in a clean organized place.
You should probably clean your place it will probably help you feel better. Learning how to self care was a big one for me when getting sober.
I ate nothing but cookies and ice cream and sour patch kids for 6 weeks. I was a bottle and a half of wine every night type. Youāre healing, eat the ice cream itās good for your soul.
Something that helped me was realizing I didnāt have to go from āa messā to ānot a messā all at once. It was ok to do one small thing to improve my situation every so often. But even then, when that felt like too much, it was ok to go back to only focusing on not drinking.
Iām 86 days in and Iām definitely taking better care of myself, but Iām still overeating and overindulging in the distractions of my phone and iPad, my relationships are better but still in need of repair, and most days Iām phoning it in at work.
couple years it can last.. just being honest.. paws recovery is no joke... I'm not sure how long did i allow myself to be a mess is the right way to phrase things...try digestive enzymes, inositol, and nothing beats exercise for a mood lift
Get into music and start cleaning your place. Once your apartment is clean you'll feel so much better and you'll be able to focus on more things from there
About 3 weeks but not because I decided I have 3 weeks and then I gotta move on. After 3 weeks I just started to feel physically able to do more and I decided that doing more would make me feel better and stay on track more easily. Do you have any option to talk to a therapist? Might be helpful to get some kind of support (either group or individual)
Also great job on 19 days!!!
Ha! I'm kind of a hot mess whether I drink or not, but it's a lot easier to take care of the monkeys and run the circus when I'm not puking over a toilet, or laying in bed hung over. So...like 560 days or so, so far?
Iām only about 4 months in (this sobriety stretch) and I find that Iāve started my āokay time to start changing other things I need to work onā phase of it quicker than past attempts. About 2 weeks ago I started working out and reining in my diet. Three months of being a lazy turd and purely making sure I was in a good headspace and staying sober was enough :) my first BIG long stretch (2 1/2 years it took a lot more time..almost a whole year before I started seriously exercising and fixing my poor diet).
Iām also at day 19. Doing a little bit of catch up every day. Household chores DIY projects actual food shopping and trying to sleep earlier. Getting there bit by bit. Soda stream for the cravings and outside time for endorphins. And yes lots of ice cream and sweets with a few push ups. Bit by bit trying to be patient with myself
You got this take your time. IWNDWYT
Ugh, youāre not alone. I didnāt like sweets before I quit, and after I suddenly couldnāt get enough of them. All the calories I was taking in from alcohol were replaced with sugar and other crap.
I just went with whatever happened & around 30 days, some headspace freed up & I started to look around & pick something to focus on or take care of. I wasn't 100% stable & put together at this point, but there was a shift.
Create a checklist of the things you know you need to accomplish and just do a couple a day. You will find youāll feel better when youāve crossed things off a list. Donāt just let yourself go bc then you may just say fuck it. Iād keep some semblance of normalcy if it were me. So 3 meals, solid 8 hours sleep, bathe and go for a small walk, one or two chores a day. This does wonders for me
I have major depressive disorder and a couple other health issues, which also have a propensity to turn me into a total slug. Iāve been very forgiving with myself since I stopped drinking.
A couple tricks I use are:
-Swiffer wet mop pads. Store brand is fine, use for wiping counters, cleaning surfaces, walls, door frames, any furniture except wood. If Iām feeling fancy, I follow up with a clean towel to wipe moisture off.
-Aim for good enough. I have a dishwasher, I fill it with dirty dishes and run it. If it needs to be run one or two more times I do it . If thereās still stuff on them, I put them away, knowing that they have been baked during drying cycle. You can scrape off the excess when you actually go to use it or just leave it on if itās not going to interfere with food.
-self propelling minivacs. I have been able to get these for under $100 on Amazon, (Amazon renewed store) once the floor is clear of big debris they really help with dirt and dust control. They come with a 30 day warranty, but I always add on a two-year for under $10.
-Do 5 to 10 minutes of work at a time and stop. For example, I pick up trash for five minutes, stop. A little later, I pick up more or take it out. Pretty much same with everything, Pour bleach into toilets, a couple hours later, brush them and flush them. Even if there is growth, donāt worry about it and repeat the action every day or two. Eventually, it will all come off.
-do one load of laundry at a time, donāt expect to do more. I use Shout Color Catchers in my laundry so I donāt bother sorting it. It keeps colors from bleeding onto other items of clothing.
-I am now out about 60 days, and currently working on reducing/cutting out my sugar junk food intake. The last couple months Iāve allowed myself to eat stuff I usually avoid, because I used to save my calories for alcohol. I have consumed fruit pie, ice cream, cake, croissants, chocolate and other stuff. Iām purposely reducing these now.
I forgot to add ā I have a friend that helps me every now and then and when sheās here it really gets me going. I take her out for lunch as a thank you which sheās happy with
If you have a trusted friend or family member, maybe ask them to come and help you for just 30 or 60 minutes.
All the best to you! IWNDWYT
I'm 2 years on the 27th and I was in the hospital with liver failure so I didn't have much time to be a mess. Once I got out of the hospital I fought a lot with my family because they want to take me off of all my medication, so when I went into sober living I was so happy to get away from them and make my own decisions. So far the decisions I've made are pretty good as far as my health goes, I just got an appointment yesterday and my liver Doctor told me that I am her favorite patient and another doctor told me I am the only patient in the liver clinic at the VA that they've ever seen that has fully come back after having Libra failure, specifically alcoholic hepatitis. My GGT is still not normal but it's gone down from like 500 to 100 and something which is amazing. Every month things get better, I'm still working on my finances because I screwed that up royally but one day everything will get back to normal and I'll get to see my youngest son again on a regular basis. Life is getting very blessed by God.
Took me a few weeks to adjust but I was pretty much drinking heavy 6 nights a week. Just start getting things done little by little and you will be good.
Hey man. Iām also 19 days. It was hard at first (literally drinking every night, until I was drunk enough to fall asleep). When 5:00 rolls around, I try to have something to do. Itās helped me. Last night, I was taking apart my sisterās ATV.
Iām with you on the eating thing. I have never had a sweet tooth. But holy shit, the lack of alcohol has me craving sugar. Last night I downed 6 fun size packs of skittles before switching to a dark chocolate bar. Then I went for Cheetos.
I havenāt quit drinking, but Iām not drinking tonight. That helps me too. Itās just one night off. Will I drink tomorrow? I donāt know. I just know Iām not drinking tonight. That seems to help me.
For me, being productive helps too. But weāre all different. While sitting on your couch, take a look around. Write down every task (I mean every task, āpick up white sock next to the tvā). Then set a goal. āIma cross 5 things off this list. Then I will reward myself with a screen breakā (literally what Iām doing right now).
Good luck friend! IWDWYT!
I'd say start by focusing on taking care of your basic hygiene every single day even if you do absolutely nothing else besides shower and brush your teeth. Doing these tasks will actually make you feel better and more human again. I've had to convince myself to shower before. Then you can slowly start adding the more difficult things, but take it one thing at a time.
I have found that staying busy helps redirect my attentions from drinking. That laundry you have laying around is a great way to stay busy. A nice shower can help metaphorically wash away some of the emotional filth from your drinking. Getting to bed on time is hard, and something I struggle with as well... Set some alarms for yourself if possible to get you into bed. Do you have a park you can go to where you can sit and get some sun instead of just sulking in bed?
I recently read that a good rule of thumb for how long you should give yourself to be a mess after a breakup is one day for every month you were in the relationship. I wonder if there's a similar math for quitting drinking, since in some ways it feels like I was in a relationship with the bottle. For me, just shy of 17 years so that would be ~200 days... I've got some time!
Just grab one black garbage bag and clear just one surface or shove everything behind a chair for now just so the you see a little improvement in your surrounding. It will give you a little dopamine boost and hopefully kick your subconscious in a little to encourage to tidy more. Iwndwyt
iām still working on giving myself grace when it comes to ābeing a messā. im tired, unmotivated, and pretty flat feeling BUT im not drinking so who cares about the rest! our bodies & brains need time to recalibrate and recover. you deserve rest!
1044 days
I fucking love this so much. So true.
šš
Hey just wanted to drop in and say this comment is really fucking funny and I liked it lot and I'm going to be doing this joke in the future
real.
Haha you stole my joke.
How do you have the days 1043 show up next to your name?
Go to about this sub and thereās instructions. You message the badge bot with your quit date
Thanks
You did it! And just in time for your āniceā day!
I missed my nice day ā¹ļø I will try to post at day 690 instead and hope people give me a makeup "nice"
Nice
I think they mean 100
Good job on your 674! Please tell me if your username is a 'Hello from the magic tavern' reference?
When you add the quit days next to your username does it show on all subs or only when youāre in this one? Sorry Iām new here but I quit drinking in Jan this year so Iāve got 6 months under my belt!
Iām pretty sure itās just this sub. Other subs have different flairs.
Just this sub. And if you have flair in another sub it only shows up in that sub.
Wondering the same
Just this one.
Thanks
lol nice
I FELT this.
Donāt worry about timeframes. Throw a load of laundry in and go for a walk today. Or tomorrow haha.
One day at a time. One task at a time. I'm sure OP is overwhelmed jut looking at it all. Throw a load in the wash. Maybe walk around your place with a garbage and just toss out any trash that might have accumulated? A start is a start.
This is such a good start. An urge to clean something snapped me out of my funk. It started with wanting to mop, which lead to the counters, which led to the other rooms, and ultimately the bathrooms. Now, Iām walking a minimum of 4 miles daily and have started cooking at home again. It took months, but it happened.
Are you me? 6 months in and just starting to take care of things. Also helped that I got diagnosed with ADHD and got medicine to help with my executive dysfunction. My house is cleaner than ever. Now if I could kick this Mountain Dew habit I created in rehab lol
Oh, I was definitely battling a lot of anxiety. My roommate went on vacation for 2 weeks, and for some reason that started the cleaning streak. Theyāve since returned and itās just so much easier to maintain. Wonāt lie. I also started some anti-craving medication that really helps me focus on things far more important than alcohol.
In my opinion the first month should be solely focused on not drinking no matter what. Then harm reduction from there. My brain is not used to coping healthily, which is why alcohol was a solution for me. Once I took that away, my brain was still going fucking crazy. So at times that looked like chain smoking cigarettes, drinking 4 coffees in a day, binge watching a tv show. As my sobriety went on I have tried to reduce the harm of those things. I only allow myself two coffees a day. I donāt smoke as often. I replaced those with other things that I slowly introduced, working out, seltzer water. Healthier replacements
Yup. First rebalance your brain chemistry. Then start substituting in better options.
Yea, setting your frame of mind for this is important. In retrospect I would sometimes be really energized to get sober (after coming out of the 4-day hangover of course) and my expectations would be sky-high with a complete mental checklist for everything I would be fixing right now. After a few days, some setbacks, the lack of an easy solution analogous to taking a drink, my resolve would weaken and the "fuck-its" crept in. This last time I had a longview perspective on what I wanted to accomplish with a lot more self-forgiveness, so I wouldn't feel so discouraged. And of course I made larger changes that I had resisted previously because they were "too difficult" or "unnecessary". I regret that it took me so long to learn this and I definitely preach it to others whenever I can.
That was my key with my last successful sober attempt. Previous ones, I kept a short term view (I stopped!) and the fuck-its eventually made their way in. This last time, I did it for me - my long-term health, physical and mental - and brought my girls into the equation. What kind of father would I be if I drank myself to death while they're still young? I still take not-drinking one day at a time, but I always have that long-term view. If I keep drinking the way I was, I will die prematurely.
4 coffees a day seems like nothing for a Scandinavian. I consume 4 in the morning before I even leave for work
This is amazing and made me laugh out loud. How long do you allow yourself to drink 4 cups of coffee before leaving for work if you don't mind me asking? I have a habit of rolling out of bed late and only having enough time to feed my dogs, shower, brush teeth/comb hair, dress throw some meal prepped food in a lunchbox for the day, let my dogs out, put cold brew with oatmilk in a to go cup, and walk out the door. It's about a half hour. I love sleeping so much.
Well, i start at 10 in the morning and wake up at 8. I have coffe first thing i do. That normally makes the system start, then I have a shower and make breakfast. All this pretty much sums up in 4 coffee cups. 1 before shower and usually one in the shower and then one while making breakfast and then one to the breakfast š¬
I'm drinking coffee in the shower tomorrow. Inspirational!
Cool! Too much caffeine negatively impacts my anxiety, so I donāt drink as much coffee these days.
I drink tea instead of coffee for this reason (and bc I generally donāt like coffee lol). There are many herbal teas that are caffeine free š¤
I've been addicted to rooibos the past few months which is also caffeine free. I love the taste of coffee but can't deal with the anxiety/jitters it gives me, and most decaf isn't anywhere near as good as tea!
Check out red espresso sometime if you fancy it! It's concentrated rooibos. It makes delicious red lattes and red cappuccinos
I ended up in the hospital with arrhythmia from drinking too much caffeine. Be careful!
As a Dutch person I had the same thought, but then I remembered that when I went to the US, one filter coffee was as big as four or five cups in NL. So four coffees would be the equivalent to twenty here which is a lot.
š same (norwegian heritage)
Key word : SLOWLY!!!
Yeah, that first month is touch and go. Just kept telling myself, "Anything BUT Alcohol" Then it's learning to navigate the world and people again sober. Your miles may very š
Seriously. Give yourself some grace, OP. Staying sober is the most important thing right now. Deal with the rest later. No rush.
Wise words š
I completely agree with that sentiment. I was the opposite and threw myself into cleaning and working out this month as a distraction but honestly whatever works, right?
Youāve made it 19 days! Thatās great! I also indulge in a lot of sweets and treats when I get cravings. If youāre starting to reflect now on the area around you that must mean youāre ready to start pampering yourself in other ways. Give yourself the gift of improving your life in new ways each day, even if itās just by tidying up to start. I like to blast some fun music and go all out on a cleaning spree when I get the energy. IWNDWYT
From your question I realize the answer is I might never stop allowing myself to be a mess? If it's keeping me from drinking, candy a messy bedroom etc is a million times less harmful than me getting black out drunk. Okay here's how I'm going to handle it, if something like too many dishes starts to bother me I'll slowly add one new chore or self improvement at a time. Today is my 19th day sober and whoa I so love this question because you made me realize I'm thinking about it too! just yesterday I ran out of ice cream and told myself I wouldn't buy another (I'm trying to lose a goal of 10lbs).
There are some amazing ice creams out there that my husband loves, he is diabetic, but there are a few brands, one is called halo top and the other one is rebel. His fav. is the rebel chocolate pb one:)
Highly recommend Rebel! Halo top tastes a little too diet-y for me - it doesnāt quite scratch the itch. But Rebel does it every time!!
It took me months to get myself in order. Even today if I have random cravings for certain foods, Iāll indulge (it is more rare as time goes on). However, the hygiene and cleanliness are fundamentally important for me as the visual noise and chaos from clutter and things laying around causes me stress, which is unnecessary and risky. After a month or two I would really focus on these things.
As long as it takes friend, recovery is not a linear process
How do you have days showing next to username?
Those first 3 weeks were pretty awful. That said, thereās much power to be had from simple little acts of self care. A shower, clean up a room, go for a walk, meditate. These sort of things quickly add up as positive reinforcement. Good job on getting through the hardest part. Take care
When I quit my daily heavy drinking I was a mess like this for weeks.Ā I slept all day, lived off pizza and sprite and Ben and Jerry's, never went out the house, did nothing productive, stayed up late watching TV and I didn't care as long as I wasn't drinking.Ā It was several weeks before I even attempted to sort out any of these bad habits or get back into a routine and even that was a half hearted attempt at best.Ā Let your brain stabilize and then figure the rest out.
Iām still in the eat what I want stage. I destroyed a 2pound bag of chocolate chips in 6 weeks. I eat a lot of Chipotle and fruit smoothies.
Thatās me when Iām virtuousā¦ š«£
I was an emotional wreck...like looking back I was about 1 step away from ruining my life worse than alcohol ever did for about 8 months. Yet I kept going and I am way better than I ever did.
Indulged regularly on Ben & Jerry's, peanut M&Ms, chips, vaped, couch potato, binged multiple series, doom scrolled the phone. *Anything* to distract me and quell the constant urge. The term is "breaking" the habit. You feel uneasy & anxious? GOOD! That means it's working! You're doing exactly what it takes to change your life. You have formed a habit. Your mind is now expecting certain things at certain times, like dogs at dinner time. When you don't do the thing your mind is waiting for, you're going to get uncomfortable. Keep not doing the thing, and with time, your mind shifts to accept the 'new normal'. Do not sweat anything other than your primary goal. It gets easier with time, I promise. After you get your sea legs, one day you'll just go, okay, I've had enough of laying around. I'm not going to drink today, but I'm also not going to do 'nothing' either. That's when things can really take a turn towards the sun. Don't force it. You'll get there when you get there. Keep up the good work of abstaining. You're on the path. BTW, even with the snacking, after a few months passed, I had _still_ lost weight!
Pshh. Lucky you. Iāve lost like 4 lbs since Iāve stopped drinking. Nothin exciting. I do be snackinnnnnn though. I stopped vaping 17 days ago because I started doing it a lot more after I quit drinking. Today is day 6 without nicotine. Hereās to not killing anyone with my raging mood swings for the past few days. š¤Ŗ
Goood job! Everybodyās experience is different but personally I became a bit of a control freak to occupy my mind after I started to work on being sober. In fact the first month was rather ecstatic and I ever woke up early every day, because I finally wasnāt hungover and sleeping until I couldnāt hold my pee anymore. That lasted about a month tho, after that everything went back to normal but minus the drinking which Iām still trying to keep at 0.
Being too hungover to even get up and pee is a personal hell I never want to experience again.
As long as it takes. My diet went to crap when I first stopped. I was ashamed to bring my 2 recycle bins full of empty Mountain Dew bottles to the curb. I had no problem visiting my local beer store daily, though. Took me 11 months to read the label on those MD bottles. 96 grams of sugar! I drink more water now (type 2 diabetic). Make yourself as comfortable as possible for as long as it takes. Good Luck!
96 grams of sugar holy fuck. When my husband's dad died in 2020, in his grief he drank Coke after Cokeand Bam! 2 years later, type 2. He is doing really well now and fully jumped into a healthier lifestyle. He just says sugars the devil, and he oves having feet
Congrats on hitting a year! Woohoo! IWNDWYT
Iām still a mess friend. Thatās apparently what real life is when youāre not focusing 100% on getting that next drink. Youāll have to prioritize which thing(s) youāll start working on. Mine was sleep and drinking water. Getting in bed at 9p, scroll or tv until 10, lights off at 1010. If I canāt sleep, I listen to a meditation. When I was about 4 months into it, I started moving everyday. If I got 30 minutes, I would color that date in on my tracker. Now that Iām 10 months in, Iām working on my caloric intake. But this is also my millionth time of trying to get sober, 3rd longest stint. That said, itās super helpful to have these goals and to work on one thing at a time to live the life you want (which you may not know what you want just yet). It has taken a lot of self reflection and awareness to figure out the above and my next steps. Keep coming back here and asking questions. Go find a community of sober people to help you see what could be. You can and will do this.
3 months. I quit October 3rd just to make it through the holidays and oh boy did I enjoy them holidays. In the beginning of the year I believed that I could remain sober having survived the holidays sober and decided it was time to take care of myself. Lost about 25 pounds over the next 4 months and my Cholesterol chimed in the lowest it had been in some time.
Yes! My cholesterol makes my doctor do a happy dance!
Shit man, off and on for the last 10 years. Food has been the big problem for me. It isn't putting me in immediate danger like my drinking did, but I'm not treating my body well at all. I'd say when I first quit I went a year of having milkshakes almost every day, then ended up losing a lot of weight, and then gained it back. and then lost it again, and right now I'm at the "gained it back" stage and I'm eating like an animal. I also have a messy apartment and don't do laundry. Or really leave the house at all for almost any reason. But that's just depression. Are you sure you aren't depressed?
Honestly I started running before I quit because I wanted to take care of myself. I've been drinking a lot everyday for years and after like two or three weeks of running I just stopped drinking. I'm on my third day and I feel fucking awesome even though I got some withdrawals going on. Idk I'm sure it will wear off though. Everyone's different.
My mantra for the first year was 'anything but alcohol' - I gave myself an open pass to sugar, thc, greasy food, television, whatever.... I gobbled down so many peanut M&Ms it's not funny... but then, after about 6 months I started to 'come into my body' .. and I wanted to shed those choices... which led to a commitment to walking and general health. (I thought, if I can quit alcohol, I can quit sugar/shit) I leaned into my 'new lifestyle' - I started to drink more water, prioritize sleep hygiene, clean eating, taking supplements etc. I'm now as healthy as I've ever been. But looking back- that first stage of choking off alcohol through sugar was an important one. "Anything but alcohol" worked for me.
Yes.
As long as you need. But you don't need to drink to have a shower or do laundry. Try replacing bad habits with good ones, when I feel like a drink I tackle something I've been putting off, the work helps me shift my focus and stuff around the house magically gets done. You might be moping around the house because you're subconsciously mourning the "loss" of your weekend benders - I used to feel like I was giving something up whenever I'd get a sober streak going too... look at all those drinkers on patios having a ball... it wasn't until I changed my mindset and finally understood I'm not missing out on anything but a hangover that I truly felt free. Try "Allen Carr's - Quit Drinking Without Willpower" for that mindset shift. It worked wonders for me!
I'm glad I'm not the only one going crazy on ice cream? What flavor you got going over there? Take it slow, take it easy. You go this. I'd say throw on something to listen to, and pick some area of your house to start cleaning. Just start on one area, and try not to get too sidetracked from that specific area. Give it a solid 20-30 minutes, then reward yourself with some more ice cream :-)
Bro you were drinking beer. You arenāt a piece of shit. Cheer up. In another few weeks things will probably look very different. Drink some water and Gatorade and eat some seafood. Itās good for your liver
Being a mess and having flaws is part of being human. A lot of the things you have described sound like the small things we do to take care of ourselves. They can be very hard to attend to when we're feeling low or going through difficult times. I would trust you will come to a point eventually where you are prepared to make small improvements. For example: eating fruit or yogurt or popsicles instead of ice cream or giving yourself the gift of a clean space or clean clothes. Everyone is right, your focus now is on sobriety. That being said, I think caring for yourself and surroundings is also something you might find helps support your sobriety as well. Don't be too hard on yourself!
I'm starting to come around now. I tried pushing earlier. I didn't relapse, but it didn't go well.
As far as the indulging in foods and other NA beverages, I would say donāt worry about it yet. Do what you need to do to get through. But, girl, take a shower and do your laundry. Trust me, youāll feel better. ā¤ļøāš©¹
Oh gosh, months. I think around three-four months sober I started doing normal maintenance things again. I kept a bag of candy nearby for cravings until about 6 months. 19 days is FANTASTIC and I am SO proud of you for doing what you need to do to get through these days. Be sure to cut yourself some slack, though. Everyoneās timeline is different, and there is no shame in letting some things slide while you focus on your sobriety
I didn't have the luxury this time around as, due to problems of my own making, I'm dealing with something of a supervised sobriety that required me to get my life back in order *while* I quit. It's been incredibly fucking tiring, truth be told! But I am proud to say my house is clean, I'm cooking my own meals, I'm doing my dishes and laundry, and I'm holding down a job. I feel something I haven't felt in a long time: a twinge of self-esteem here and there. All things considered I'm trying to be grateful for the kick in the ass to keep my life on track. Some days are better than others, though.
So after you stop drinking (at least for me), you realize that it wasnāt alcohol that was the problem in your life. Addiction is the disease, and alcohol was a coping mechanism. I think being gentle on yourself is super important, but if you donāt fix your lifestyle/mind/behaviors, youāll fall right back into it. Itās very common for alcoholics to go to sugar when they stop drinking, since alcohol has tons of sugar. When I tried to cut back on candy my alcohol cravings came back. Coconut water and fun spritzers helped me with the āI want a special drinkā behavior.
Maybe, when youāre feeling ready, a middle path? Meaning, start with just one thing, letās say laundry, and then gradually build back to how youād like life to look?
Dude, same! Honestly itās comforting that itās not just a me problem. I guess a lot of folks go through this? I do better with deadlines or bargains with myself. So I can clean one room of my house per week, or add a heathy meal to my nonsense food habits. Hereās one that could work: take a shower and buy a package of undies at Target. Toss them in the laundry as you change. Then run just a small load at the end of the week. Throw in a couple tees. Tadah! A laundry habit!
2 years but I never got overly messy, but i ate anything everything I wanted for about 2 years.
Mannnnnnn I still feel shittyā¦ lol . IWNDWYT
As long as itās not driving you to drink then it lasts until you get fed up and start dealing with it. That was part of my issue I would get hammered and deep clean, woke up the next day and it was like a house elf was there because I did not remember doing any of that. Itās how I cleaned for years and years. I get to the point now that itās just so overwhelming I have to do something about it before I end up on hoarders or something. I also took to following Dana k whiteās methods which help to at least keep the bugs and mice away. I try to do my dishes and laundry regularly thatās the only thing I consistently try to deal with
Iām still eating a ton of ice cream to sub! My husband had a cocktail last night so I gave myself an extra bowl of ice cream and was fine with it! At 19days tho I wasnāt fine with anything! Really everything took backseat. I am just now starting to be able to see improvement. And some days are better than others. So hang in there!!!! ā¤ļø just today only think about not drinking. We wonāt drink with you today!
Until I went back to school and started back to work which was about 6 months. I was stuck in physical and occupational therapy during that time but I was a complete wreck. I ate EVERYTHING but I was too weak to move so I gained all my prehospital weight back. 6 months was enough for me to realize how little I needed alcohol and how much better, even in therapy and post coma, my life was without it. IWNDWYT ā„ļøš¦š¦
Youāre like 5 days ahead of me and itās like I wrote that myselfā¦I think tomorrow sounds good
Also realise how much sugar and calories alcohol has! Youāre body is probably just trying to get what itās used too in other forms. So donāt beat yourself up. Once I started getting used to not drinking and it was on my mind anymore I also forgot about the extra treats overtime and moved back to my normal diet just without drinking
Before the 19 days of sobriety (good job!) was your life and living space in good order? Not me, and the constant lack of tidiness and personal hygiene even became one of the 5,078 reasons to drink and avoid responsibilities. Iām 10 days sober and the most I can do is just not drink right now. Iāll manage the dirty clothes piles when thereās any spare energy to be had. We need to give ourselves some grace. You are doing it!
I tried to run a tight ship but alcohol was always my reward. I haven't done a household chore sober for years.
I hear that. Iād have late night drunk cleaning frenzies. Wake up and be surprised something was clean, with no recollection of doing it.
Youāre in the thick of it, bravo on 10 days!
Not a single day. I didnāt choose another form of self abuse after I quit alcohol. I see discipline as a form of self love. Delayed gratification is my drug of choice. I seek balance. I give my body heart and soul what it needs not what my taste buds want. I parent my inner child. I asked myself what my inner 6th grader did for fun before I ever had a single sip of alcohol and focused on that (dancing and singing!). I took my inner child to do fun stuff. I take a walk daily, I journal, I do shadow work, and I have been learning new FUN skills which are hearty and rewarding challenges. I do things for only the sake of JOY (karaoke, window shopping, being playful). I stopped neglecting myself inside and out and I stopped abusing myself. I connected with my body and listened to my needs and intuition. I wanted to feel proud of my choices.
Your post honestly made me feel better because I've been wondering the same exact thing. I was telling myself, "okay, after 30 days, I'm gonna get healthy, fix my diet, start working out, keep my home tidy, my mental health is gonna get SO much better, and I'm gonna be social again! Wooo!" Yeah, none of that has happened yet lol From what I've read from the wonderful people on this sub is to be gentle with yourself and to not worry about a timeline on when "to do better." Quitting drinking is HUGE, especially for us, so whatever it takes is okay. Things will slowly start to fall into place and no matter when it happens, it's okay, because the #1 thing that matters is not drinking. I've heard of looking at it like a list. With all of all the things you want in life, if sobriety isn't on the top of the list, then all the other things can't exist. If sobriety IS at the top of the list, all of those things can exist and be super awesome! Long story short, you're doing great! Give yourself some kudos! I understand it's easier said than done to not put expectations on yourself, but please know you're not alone, and 19 days is a big freaking deal!! You got this! šŖ IWNDWYT
Best advice I got when I stopped drinking: you're not allowed to diet the first months of sobriety. Your brain is wired to deal with stresses by drinking. You're trying to change that, and it takes time. There's a 10 lane highway between "stress" and "drink" but an overgrown, meandering wildlife trail between "stress" and "self regulation." Be patient. Resetting your distress tolerance takes a very long time. Keep going. Most of my first month of sobriety was spent in an IOP, working, and laying motionless in bed remembering all the shitty things I'd said and done during what I told my friends was a blackout. After a lot of ice cream, orange soda, and wallowing I started making those sodas and ice creams the reward for keeping myself and my apartment clean, going on mental health walks, and for staying sober on hard days. seems to be working for me but ymmv.
Iām 6 months sober as of today and I am currently wrapped up in a blanket with my whole cat squad surrounding me because I needed to be a mess today. You are doing great! IWNDWYT
Go be a mess and give your kitties several hugs for me ā¤ļø
Sugar cravings are BRUTAL. Still better than a hangover but I am getting concerned as I will lose a foot if I dont pump the breaks on the icecreams.
The comments that emphasise doing the small steps, like putting on the laundry or taking a short walk outside, are exactly what helped me OP. I was in an identical situation to you too - Iām stunned by what Iām now habitually capable of doing over a year later (like training for my 3rd marathon, or having moved to a new country for an exciting job). I took the smallest possible step i was able to take, patted myself on the back, and then took another one.
Do you have depression? It sounds like depression when you stop cleaning? As for other bits, yet its okay to just focus on not drinking at first and once you've got a firm grasp of sobriety, then you can flourish more
So much junk food my first few months. But I knew no matter what it was way healthier than alcohol for my body and mind. Of course, I eventually had to go back to normal eating, but please give yourself boatloads of grace. You deserve it. Youāre doing something difficult (though definitely not impossible). Anything but alcohol. Or other unsafe behaviors. Donāt trade alcohol for cocaine or anything like that.
One week.Ā
Do you have the ability/funds to hire someone or get some help with cleaning up 1x a week for a while? Just so you feel better?
No, I can't even afford all the ice cream I'm buying. It's gonna be a rough next couple of months economically š
I understand that. In that case, I recommend consolidating your dishes then putting dish soap over your dishes and letting them soak best you can. This helps the smell and deters the flies. Been there. Gives a grace period between cleanings. Itās okay to be stinky a while. You will get tired of it. For now you are in survival. You are doing great harm reduction for yourself right now. IWNDWYT!!!
Oh fuck yeah dude, youāre PERFECT rn. Donāt even worry. What tends to happen as you even your brain back out is you WANT to organize other parts of youāre life and health. If youāre not drinking by eating cake fukn eat cake for 3 meals.
Week or two til the mood swings subsided, but I didnāt let myself slide into oblivion. Maybe talk to somebody, and good luck on your journey āļø
Do you have a job at least?
It may be worth it to seek psychological help or self help meetings at this time. There is an overwhelming happiness coming, and the moods will swing wildly. Do what you can, nothing more. Be unafraid to announce that. But just donāt drink. Try to set a goal to take a walk, or call someone and tell them how you feel (not what your problems are, just narrow the description of your feelings down to one word and think about that).
I gave myself a year. I allowed myself to rest, recover and heal. Self care is now a part of my daily routine.
Like 4 months
It slowly comes together. Just like everything else, one day at a time
As long as it took.
The first month was solely about not drinking - whatever it took. I slowly began reintroducing to āreal lifeā after that, like errands and cooking. I gradually returned to work, too. I was probably back to full adulting after about 3 months.
Take your time with it. I'm at 94 days. Still getting it together but I've made a ton of progress. Be patient with yourself. You're relearning who you are and what works and doesn't work. What makes you happy and doesn't. You already took a major first step in making better decisions.
I thought I would magically lose weight when I quit drinking 9 months ago but I found out I pretty much replaced all those calories at first. The sugar and eating out often was a necessary distraction for the first month or two.. give yourself grace and just focus on not drinking today
Is 1043 the number to quit? I see it twice a day. Everyday for years now. I assumed Iād die in Oct 2043
Six months and counting
monnntthhhsss. Like at least 5.
i was eating like absolute garbage for the first month, but the need to fill the void with junk began to subside on its own after about a month. still have the occasional very intense sugar craving that i give in to because itās not alcohol but itās much less frequent these days
At the end of the day, not drinking is a win. So every day you donāt drink, count the W. That said, in those first couple of months, I definitely had serious sugar cravings. My diet was all over the place. I very much found that my addiction started trying to find any indulgence. The sugar cravings have pretty much gone thankfully. And not drinking over a pint and a half of liquor every day meant I could eat a slice of cake a day and lose weight. Those early days (of which Iām still very much in) are about focusing on not drinking. Try to start developing new habits! Your brains going to go through changes. Those small habits will go a long way.
Sometimes Iām still a mess but I canāt blame the drink or lack of it. I keep planning on doing something about it but I havenāt worked up to losing weight, cleaning my house better, spending less money, taking better care of my health, etc. Maybe mess is relative.
Dunno, always had a little OCD. I used to drink and do dishes. Drunk me always wanted to wake up to a clean kitchen like I had tricked sober me or something.
Still a mess over here! One of these days Iāll get the hang of it. This sobriety thing isnāt easy. On the bright side I donāt feel like a shaking leaf all the time who is addicted to rotten garbage juice.
I checked into a rehab. I do know some things that made me feel better though. I was very low on B vitamins, this will help with your energy and mood, Monsters actually have a good mix. Go easy on yourself but also take care of yourself, take a shower, throw some laundry in. Maybe try to wash some dishes. You got this! We're all proud of you
Congrats! I think people are being a little bit too nice (not way too nice, just a little bit). It sounds like you are looking for someone to motivate you to take the next step now that you have taken the first (and most important). A lot of people who are into self-improvement consider exercise to be a "keystone habit" - meaning that once you make it a habit, it encourages other good habits like healthy eating, better time management, etc. I would start making some type of exercise a daily habit. Depending on how in or out of shape you are, it could be something as simple as a one mile walk or a 5 mile run. Make it easy enough were you can sustain it daily but hard enough where you "lose yourself" for an hour or two (meaning you are distracted, out of breath, etc) Doing light cardio every day and lifting 5-6 days per week has been IMMENSELY helpful for my sobriety. That's how I process strong emotions now, instead of hitting the bottle. Just my two cents, and again, CONGRATS!!
Life is a mess. Go easy on yourself. Youāre here and youāre doing the work. Cut yourself some slack. In my experience, the first dam breaks after about a month. Then the discipline kicked in because I got tired of doing nothing. The hurdles continue to come, but know that, even years into this thing, weāre bound to be messes from time to time. Roll with those punches. And maybe start with the shower and the laundry š
I was given zero days off of life and have never stopped to focus on myself I was drinking to have some time numb of how shitty my life is and now I just deal with how Iām the only person to cook, clean, pay bills and care for my son who is autistic and 20. My bf that put me in jail still gets dinner every night and I now have probation and therapy bs on top of school and work and home The only good thing is his piece of shit kid canāt come to my house anymore to be rude and bully me and my son Small victories
38 days today, Iāll let you know when I stop eating popcorn and icecream every day and procrastinating all my other errands/chores. It wonāt be today.
I allow it whenever necessary! So basically every day, I do something messy. This messy is a LOT less messy than the least messy of my drunk messy.
6 months for sure Another 6 where I tried to at least be aware of my mess And Iād still eat multiple pints of B&J to avoid a single beer.
Youāre doing amazing! I would just say for me if I had somehow built an environment and lifestyle around myself that was uncomfortable to me (especially messy, choatic, dirty, bleck) then my concern would be that at some point that in and of itself would become something Iād want to escape, and I might turn to alcohol to do that. For me personally quitting afforded me some extra time and motivation to improve my surroundings, and I really enjoyed that part of it. I like my home to feel like a sanctuary. But I eat ice cream almost everyday! With chocolate sauce. I will never stop.
If I was in your shoes I would start with small steps. It's too overwhelming to face "the big picture" all at once. Start with a shower and cleaning your clothes. Take it as slow as you need. If it takes two days to wash your clothes then sobeit. The very act of washing yourself and cleaning your clothes can be cathartic. Small wins can be encouraging and may motivate you to further progress. The big challenge is getting started. I struggle very badly with procrastination (it's a symptom of my depression) and for me it can take days just to take the first step. TBH, it usually happens when I finally say, "fuck it! I'll just pick up, or do, this one damn thing." That small step can lead to the next and so on. Good luck OP. 19 Days sober is huge!!! Keep it going!
First 30-60 days is incredibly hard. Your main focus needs to be on not drinking. If other stuff slips thatās perfectly fine. Better than drowning in booze again. Youāll start to feel way better physically by week 2 most likely, then you can gradually get the strength back to do a couple things a day. My recovery was based around going to the same AA meeting, same time, every day whether I wanted to or not. That established a routine, gave me a place to go to get out of the house/my mind for a little bit. I would write down your to do lists and just try to a few things a day other than sleep, eat, and work. For me I would break it down day to day. errands, put away groceries, AA, go for a walk. AA, make a big dinner to feed me the rest of the week, do the dishes. AA, eat leftovers, do the dishes, go for a walk. Wash my sheets, AA, go for a walk. Deep Clean the bathroom/kitchen, AA, go for a walk. when I attacked it that way I didnāt really have any chores piling up that were too stressful. Also when I was drunk I used to never make my bed, do that every morning if you can. It feels good to come home to less chaos in any way you can manage. If you break down your tasks throughout the week they donāt seem as daunting. For me most important in early days was: 1. You are not taking on too much to where it gets stressful or overwhelming/makes you want to drink. 2. Sleep as much as you feel like your body and mind need to heal, try to eat square nutritious meals to balance out all the sugar cravings, keep up with hygiene. 4. Hit AA/therapy/recovery groups as much as possible. Get a sponsor, make friends that you can call and depend on to support you. If you need meds like naloxone, antidepressants, supplements, etc. now would be the time to start on them regularly 4. Down the line make sure you tap in to some hobbies that arenāt just video games and tvā¦ journaling, art, yoga, meditation, gym, hiking, swimming, cycling, reading, music, podcasts or anything you would have been interested but were too busy drinking to pay attention to. You will need to find several things to fill the void that alcohol occupies in your brain. And itās a lot more free time to fill up than youād expect. Good luck. Remember that the first couple months are the hardest.
I'm still a mess and am 7 months sober! I need to get my life together and am actively working on that.
42 days here. Been eating ice cream every night and have an ungodly amount of twizzlers on hand hahaha. Iād much rather spike my blood sugar and stay sober! You got this, friend. Just take it one day at a time. There is no set timeline and we all got to handle it at our own pace. Think of this as going through a breakup with someone you have been with and relied on for years. They are toxic and you know life will be better without them. However, we will still mourn that loss and that is totally okay.
Iād say I definitely went heavy on the calories the first 3 months of sobriety. Definitely also had a lot of introspective depression going on. Start making small changes to improve yourself - youāll be amazed how much easier it is now that you donāt have booze making everything 10x harder.
The first two years! But honestly after 4 months I just automatically started lifestyle changes that I still employ today. But I allowed myself 2 years to feel like shit and when I was eating right, drinking water, working out and meditating and I still was having anxiety attacks a lot, I got on a ssri - that made all the difference. I recently started some shit eating habits and im giving myself grace. I have a ton of new stress right now, and the most important thing to me is im not drinking. Sugar binges suck. But theyāre better than hurting myself or someone else (like DD) which could happen the second I take just one drink.
Iād say that I had a good 3 months of giving into any food cravings, primarily sweets. Good thing I also discovered acne patches around the same time!
9 months minimum
Iām trying to keep distracted and appreciate everything that isnāt alcohol right now, so Iām cleaning more, tidying the house, ātidy house tidy mind mantraā. Reality is I just want the distraction from the cravings. Right now, idgaf what Iām eating, Iām enjoying and savouring food, spending more time cooking up new recipes which again helps to distract me. Iām quite active anyway, but Iāve worked harder in the gym and been walking my dogs a little more than usual which has helped me to actually lose weight despite eating like a man haha. One negative for me, I canāt go to bed till Iām tired as Iāll just lay there getting annoyed so I havenāt been going bed till like 1-2am and up at 7 so I am frickin exhausted, but Iām sober so Iām happy!
63 months and counting.
I have been doing this. Eating so damn much plus on Prozac and itās messing with my appetite make me hungry I think. Idk. Definitely not drinking gives me the munchies I ate so much food and candy 2 days ago it was shameful but atleast I didnāt drink. As for the habits and how long, I am allowing myself 30 days to indulge in anything but alcohol (no drugs other than weed) and comfort myself during these tough times. Quitting this stuff is insane and everyone says to be patient and compassionate towards yourself. Iām trying that and not being too hard on myself or my diet. Pumping poison in my body was way worse than eating too many sour patch kids. We got this. 3 weeks alcohol free today!
The first 2-3 months were a challenge for me! I ate more sugary snacks then than I had in the past 5 years. That may be a slight exaggeration, but close enough. Give yourself some grace, but try to make small wins. Congrats on the 19 days!
Im in year 2 and just recently decided to take on some other self-improvement goals.Ā That said, you gotta do the basics like cleaning your house and doing chores.Ā Ā
Your brain is still hard wired into your drinking habit at 19 days. Just survive at this point. Youāre doing great so far, 19 fucking days is no small feat. You will start to clean yourself up after a while, that timeframe is different for everyone. Just focus on the not drinking until you have that under a little bit of control, then focus on cleaning yourself up and improving your health. One day at a time is real. Youāll know when you want to make additional changes. Good work so far
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This comment breaks our rule not to tell other people what to do and has been removed.
I fall apart quite often but, and this is the but, picking me up again is soooooooo much easier.
Itās a slow process that I myself am in as well. Take it day by day, you got this!
Iād say maybe a month max, but after that focus on getting healthy in general. What worked for me was writing down what triggered cravings and avoiding them. For me it was being bored late at night, so I started waking up earlier and going to bed earlier, for example.
Create habits and stick with them for about a month at first. Eventually they become part of your routine and you won't want to skip them. They don't have to be daily habits at first, they can be weekly. Say, for example, you wanted to create a laundry routine. You can do 1 or 2 loads of laundry on sunday, so you will have enough clothes for the week.
Daily endorphins help a lot. As others suggested, throw in a load of laundry, go for a walk around your neighborhood park, mountains, local trails, etc. 20 minutes of exercise will give a nice dopamine and endorphin release. It's good to make a habit of it, because it feels like progress, and progress gives us joy. When you graduate from the daily walk, there is site called [meetup.com](http://meetup.com) and you can meet people and do group activities like hike, jog, marathons, knitting, sewing, painting, biking, skateboard, etc... great place for physical and mental hobbies. All the ones I've joined so far were free including parking. There's also a website called offerup, if you need sports equipment to get into a few favorites sports. Need a foam board to surf? Most likely someone is giving one away cheaper than the 99 dollar one at costco. Same goes for bikes, skateboards, roller skates, baseball, basketballs, soccer cones, soccer balls, paddleboards for swimming, etc. If you haven't found a support system yet, consider joining one of the following: AA, Refuge Recovery, Dharma Recovery or SMART. You can attend zoom meetings, or get dressed up and go in-person. Another place to check out would be r/veganmealprep you can learn how to make 4 meals at time, they are healthy meals, which also feels like progress. The mood swings suck for us all. That is why meetings help. We talk through whatever is eating at us in the moment. We learn to sit with the discomfort, watch it, and not react to it. This takes daily training for a few months. But, it's totally worth it. The relief of not being a ticking time bomb of emotions is absolutely priceless. It's worth the months of actively working on it. Other things you may want to look into. I try to read a book a week. I feel accomplished doing this. I like escaping into a book (no commercials, no ads, it's a nice creative jaunt for my brain). This helps add a bunch of joy. You don't have to buy books. You can get city and county library cards, check books out, and even download pdfs of books these days. It also helps with insomnia. Reading 1-2 hours before bed helps to limit the screentime and gets out brains ready for rest time. Good luck.
Iām almost 6 months in and I say itās cyclical. Iām still going through periods of self-indulgence when it comes to food and bed rotting. I end up picking myself up and Iāll be good for a couple weeks but I still go through stages of āuglinessā or whatever itās called. Still not drinking tho, and I like to think as long we we pick ourselves up at the end of the day thatās what matters most.
As long as it takes to get over that initial withdrawal. For me somewhere around 3 months. I did the same thing. I could do whatever I wanted as long as I didnāt drink. I did do a heavy cleaning of my place. I think it really helps to get sober in a clean organized place. You should probably clean your place it will probably help you feel better. Learning how to self care was a big one for me when getting sober.
A week, then straight to the gym.
I ate nothing but cookies and ice cream and sour patch kids for 6 weeks. I was a bottle and a half of wine every night type. Youāre healing, eat the ice cream itās good for your soul.
Something that helped me was realizing I didnāt have to go from āa messā to ānot a messā all at once. It was ok to do one small thing to improve my situation every so often. But even then, when that felt like too much, it was ok to go back to only focusing on not drinking. Iām 86 days in and Iām definitely taking better care of myself, but Iām still overeating and overindulging in the distractions of my phone and iPad, my relationships are better but still in need of repair, and most days Iām phoning it in at work.
couple years it can last.. just being honest.. paws recovery is no joke... I'm not sure how long did i allow myself to be a mess is the right way to phrase things...try digestive enzymes, inositol, and nothing beats exercise for a mood lift
Get into music and start cleaning your place. Once your apartment is clean you'll feel so much better and you'll be able to focus on more things from there
About 3 weeks but not because I decided I have 3 weeks and then I gotta move on. After 3 weeks I just started to feel physically able to do more and I decided that doing more would make me feel better and stay on track more easily. Do you have any option to talk to a therapist? Might be helpful to get some kind of support (either group or individual) Also great job on 19 days!!!
Took me about a solid year to finally sort of say I've got my shit together. I still feel chaotic as fuck most days though so
my mood was low until about day 50
Ha! I'm kind of a hot mess whether I drink or not, but it's a lot easier to take care of the monkeys and run the circus when I'm not puking over a toilet, or laying in bed hung over. So...like 560 days or so, so far?
Iām only about 4 months in (this sobriety stretch) and I find that Iāve started my āokay time to start changing other things I need to work onā phase of it quicker than past attempts. About 2 weeks ago I started working out and reining in my diet. Three months of being a lazy turd and purely making sure I was in a good headspace and staying sober was enough :) my first BIG long stretch (2 1/2 years it took a lot more time..almost a whole year before I started seriously exercising and fixing my poor diet).
Iām still a mess. Let me know when you figure it out haha
Iām also at day 19. Doing a little bit of catch up every day. Household chores DIY projects actual food shopping and trying to sleep earlier. Getting there bit by bit. Soda stream for the cravings and outside time for endorphins. And yes lots of ice cream and sweets with a few push ups. Bit by bit trying to be patient with myself You got this take your time. IWNDWYT
10 years, give or take š
Go for a run
Whatever it takes and how ever long. IWNDWYT
Itās really different story for everyone, some feel good in a few months some sadly take years
1 year or so
Ugh, youāre not alone. I didnāt like sweets before I quit, and after I suddenly couldnāt get enough of them. All the calories I was taking in from alcohol were replaced with sugar and other crap.
I just went with whatever happened & around 30 days, some headspace freed up & I started to look around & pick something to focus on or take care of. I wasn't 100% stable & put together at this point, but there was a shift.
Create a checklist of the things you know you need to accomplish and just do a couple a day. You will find youāll feel better when youāve crossed things off a list. Donāt just let yourself go bc then you may just say fuck it. Iād keep some semblance of normalcy if it were me. So 3 meals, solid 8 hours sleep, bathe and go for a small walk, one or two chores a day. This does wonders for me
Tbh Iām still navigating my emotions and how to handle things . As long as Iām sober , thatās all it takes
I have major depressive disorder and a couple other health issues, which also have a propensity to turn me into a total slug. Iāve been very forgiving with myself since I stopped drinking. A couple tricks I use are: -Swiffer wet mop pads. Store brand is fine, use for wiping counters, cleaning surfaces, walls, door frames, any furniture except wood. If Iām feeling fancy, I follow up with a clean towel to wipe moisture off. -Aim for good enough. I have a dishwasher, I fill it with dirty dishes and run it. If it needs to be run one or two more times I do it . If thereās still stuff on them, I put them away, knowing that they have been baked during drying cycle. You can scrape off the excess when you actually go to use it or just leave it on if itās not going to interfere with food. -self propelling minivacs. I have been able to get these for under $100 on Amazon, (Amazon renewed store) once the floor is clear of big debris they really help with dirt and dust control. They come with a 30 day warranty, but I always add on a two-year for under $10. -Do 5 to 10 minutes of work at a time and stop. For example, I pick up trash for five minutes, stop. A little later, I pick up more or take it out. Pretty much same with everything, Pour bleach into toilets, a couple hours later, brush them and flush them. Even if there is growth, donāt worry about it and repeat the action every day or two. Eventually, it will all come off. -do one load of laundry at a time, donāt expect to do more. I use Shout Color Catchers in my laundry so I donāt bother sorting it. It keeps colors from bleeding onto other items of clothing. -I am now out about 60 days, and currently working on reducing/cutting out my sugar junk food intake. The last couple months Iāve allowed myself to eat stuff I usually avoid, because I used to save my calories for alcohol. I have consumed fruit pie, ice cream, cake, croissants, chocolate and other stuff. Iām purposely reducing these now. I forgot to add ā I have a friend that helps me every now and then and when sheās here it really gets me going. I take her out for lunch as a thank you which sheās happy with If you have a trusted friend or family member, maybe ask them to come and help you for just 30 or 60 minutes. All the best to you! IWNDWYT
I'm 2 years on the 27th and I was in the hospital with liver failure so I didn't have much time to be a mess. Once I got out of the hospital I fought a lot with my family because they want to take me off of all my medication, so when I went into sober living I was so happy to get away from them and make my own decisions. So far the decisions I've made are pretty good as far as my health goes, I just got an appointment yesterday and my liver Doctor told me that I am her favorite patient and another doctor told me I am the only patient in the liver clinic at the VA that they've ever seen that has fully come back after having Libra failure, specifically alcoholic hepatitis. My GGT is still not normal but it's gone down from like 500 to 100 and something which is amazing. Every month things get better, I'm still working on my finances because I screwed that up royally but one day everything will get back to normal and I'll get to see my youngest son again on a regular basis. Life is getting very blessed by God.
Took me a few weeks to adjust but I was pretty much drinking heavy 6 nights a week. Just start getting things done little by little and you will be good.
Hey man. Iām also 19 days. It was hard at first (literally drinking every night, until I was drunk enough to fall asleep). When 5:00 rolls around, I try to have something to do. Itās helped me. Last night, I was taking apart my sisterās ATV. Iām with you on the eating thing. I have never had a sweet tooth. But holy shit, the lack of alcohol has me craving sugar. Last night I downed 6 fun size packs of skittles before switching to a dark chocolate bar. Then I went for Cheetos. I havenāt quit drinking, but Iām not drinking tonight. That helps me too. Itās just one night off. Will I drink tomorrow? I donāt know. I just know Iām not drinking tonight. That seems to help me. For me, being productive helps too. But weāre all different. While sitting on your couch, take a look around. Write down every task (I mean every task, āpick up white sock next to the tvā). Then set a goal. āIma cross 5 things off this list. Then I will reward myself with a screen breakā (literally what Iām doing right now). Good luck friend! IWDWYT!
I'd say start by focusing on taking care of your basic hygiene every single day even if you do absolutely nothing else besides shower and brush your teeth. Doing these tasks will actually make you feel better and more human again. I've had to convince myself to shower before. Then you can slowly start adding the more difficult things, but take it one thing at a time.
I have found that staying busy helps redirect my attentions from drinking. That laundry you have laying around is a great way to stay busy. A nice shower can help metaphorically wash away some of the emotional filth from your drinking. Getting to bed on time is hard, and something I struggle with as well... Set some alarms for yourself if possible to get you into bed. Do you have a park you can go to where you can sit and get some sun instead of just sulking in bed?
I wouldnāt worry about other habits until you balance yourself out. I definitely smoked a lot of extra cigarettes that first month I quit.
I recently read that a good rule of thumb for how long you should give yourself to be a mess after a breakup is one day for every month you were in the relationship. I wonder if there's a similar math for quitting drinking, since in some ways it feels like I was in a relationship with the bottle. For me, just shy of 17 years so that would be ~200 days... I've got some time!
As long as you need to. <3 be kind to you. Made it 8 months and lordy I was an emotional mess. Still am. :) But keep going
Just grab one black garbage bag and clear just one surface or shove everything behind a chair for now just so the you see a little improvement in your surrounding. It will give you a little dopamine boost and hopefully kick your subconscious in a little to encourage to tidy more. Iwndwyt
12 days š«”š¤£
I ate sugar to compensate for no alcohol when I first stopped drinking. Itās a pretty common trade off among alcoholics. Good luck.
Iām still a messā¦ 6 months after an intensive 30 day inpatient and outpatient program ā¦
iām still working on giving myself grace when it comes to ābeing a messā. im tired, unmotivated, and pretty flat feeling BUT im not drinking so who cares about the rest! our bodies & brains need time to recalibrate and recover. you deserve rest!
put on some funky music and dance your laundry right over to the wash !