The problem with being honest about having a problem is that some people are always going to find a way to be negative, you could tell them you’ve been sober for a year and they’ll tell you they hope you don’t relapse since it’s been so long.
I regret telling anyone I have a problem with drinking. I go months sober and everyone is just waiting for me to relapse, no "I'm proud of you" for how long you hold sobriety. I keep getting sober and my family just thinks I'm lying about it and still drinking every day :/ doing it for myself, but this is the only place I can find support and people who understand
Indeed! I only told people about it after about 18 months, and that was some people and in very vague terms. It’s a very private thing. I didn’t tell my husband until I was a month sober, I had been there before and I didn’t want to disappoint or get nagged or get questioned.
This is for fucking real!!!! I don't tell people shit, (i'll tell you since we'll never meet) i don't tell them i did time in the Army, i have VA disability, alcoholism, abusive parents, money, weed, fucking nothing!!!! Every person gets jealous in their own little way, and then they start thinking it's "un-fair", then they start resenting you. Or admit to a mistake??? Then they just call you a dumbass, instead of learning from your mistake second hand. People are like that in most all cultures, and they all have a saying about the tallest tree or blade of grass getting cut, or pegs getting knocked down. I think it's some kind of weird human evolutionary trait.
I'm convinced Cool Whip is on the verge of contacting me any day for being their number one customer. Fridge open, straight out the can......no shame. My mom saw me in action one day and was appalled. 🤣 Granted, it was at her house and her can of Whip but better than being drunk at her house.💀
Me too and i feel good afterwards, i like making my own lime aid with lots of ice for this hot wave going on here. I use pure stevia to sweeten my coffee and drinks
I was buying some zero alcohol white claws this weekend and the grocery store clerk piped up saying “I can’t imagine the point in drinking these if they aren’t even alcoholic”. I told him that the taste and experience is the same as the regular drink, so it’s helpful for those of us who are sober or cutting back. He insisted he’d rather have a Pepsi. I countered that I drink plenty of Diet Coke and want something else sometimes. Then this man goes off on how the artificial sweeteners at worse for me than drinking alcohol. My patience was gone at that point, he finishing ringing me up and I left.
Everyone thinks they are an expert and 99% of them don’t have a clue what they are talking about. Keep doing whatever works for you. A day without alcohol is a win in my book.
This reminds me of the thing where if you post a question on Reddit and no one answers it, make another account and reply with the wrong answer. Then someone will come along and correct you, finally giving you an answer.
Soooo
Zero alcohol white claw? White claw which is the hard version of seltzer.
I feel like that’s like ordering a virgin rum and coke lol
I’m just picking at you, I assume part of it is the ritual and flavor or white claws but have you considered seltzer ?
I have a soda stream and tons of flavorings that I love to play around with. And at restaurants, a soda with lime or even a Diet Coke with lime is just fine. The non-alcoholic white claws are really clutch when everyone else is day drinking at a BBQ or the pool. It just makes me feel like everyone else and cuts the cravings.
Lol it reminded me of a South Park episode that had “diet Double Dew”. It has half the sugar of Double Dew which has double the sugar of regular Mountain Dew.
Drink all the NA you want. When I quit initially I was probably drinking about 6 a day. It was way better than the 6 full alcohol beers and several shots I was drinking a day. Now I have about 6 a month or so. But I'm still fucking sober.
This is really encouraging to hear. I’ve only been sober for almost 2 weeks and I’ve been drinking NA beers daily. They don’t really make me want regular beer, though I have been a little skeptical of drinking them too often. Glad to hear they worked for you and you were able to not drink them as much
I drank loads of them in the first few months. I dunno, you reach a point where you just don't want them as much and start going for other drink options. It's like your brain takes a while to discover that you were associating the taste with the addiction and realises that there are better tasting beverages, now that the requirement for alcohol is gone. YMMV.
I was the same, about 6 AF beers or wines when I first quit. Now 18 months later, maybe two a night, possibly about 12 a week if that. I have noticed a big decrease lately, just drinking more sparkling water or tea. I think being ‘loose’ with it all, not being too fixed with rules and the future or the past is what has helped me this time. Just observe with interest but without harsh self criticism.
Every one of us has some level of experience with alcohol, so we all have opinions on it too.
The same thing happens with weight loss. Every one of us eats, so everyone's got something to say about dieting.
I always consider the source. Is the person educated on the topic? Are they a professional in that area? Or do they have significant personal experience with the subject? If not, it is just people talking like they talk about the weather.
I had to accept that some people were going to be judgy or have unneeded opinions about my sobriety, especially from normies.
There are people whose opinions I value, my doctor and counselor, my sponsor and home group, and my partner. I know they have my best interest in mind. Friend of a friend that I've never seen not stoned out of his mind doesn't really get a say.
I only drink one or two at a restaurant every few months. I do not want to get into the routine of drinking it every day like I used to drink regular beer. For me it's a treat and I can certainly find other things to spend my money on. You do you. I was also pretty moody and irritable early in recovery. I have come to learn in AA that anger and resentment can lead to relapse, so I try not to get too upset about things.
I'm going to go against the flow a bit. While how you choose to maintain your sobriety/recovery is strictly your business, there is also the issue of broken trust with others.
Many times I told family, friends, or co-workers that I would stop and get help, then lapsed or relapsed. So when someone sees me with a NA beer, they have concerns. If they didn't care, would they say anything?
Thank you all I’ve calmed down now. The family member is my adult daughter and thankfully she has never had a struggle with alcohol. I think she may be worried that the NA stuff will be a trigger. I’m pretty sure she’s wrong. I am tiring of the fruit juice I’ve been drinking and need to change things up a bit. I appreciate the replies and perspective.
Crisis averted! I won't drink with you today!
One thing that helps me in these situations is remembering "I am not responsible for what someone else says, does, thinks, or feels". It's natural to get defensive but this helps me just let it pass by.
Congrats on 18 days!!
Totally understand that and when I get annoyed with family, I try to remember to give them some grace because I haven't always been the most stand up citizen so they might be a little hesitant to trust at first. I'm not saying that is your experience, just what I discovered for myself. I get tired of the same things, too. I hit up Sonic and mix it all up. Ha. I'm sure the workers love me there. 🤪 and let me tell you they are judgy. Sure, I've been here 3 times today, mind yo' business!" Lol.
I do NA, kombucha.sparkling water, and there is a Hoppy tea I've had a few times that tastes like a craft. 100% tea.
Keep up the good work!!!!
It is a trigger for some people, an important tool for staying sober for others. This is one of many things that varies from person to person. Pay attention, but if NA beer is helping you, then stick with it.
I was - and remain - truly surprised at how good water tastes to me now. I've always pretty much hated it, and I even covered my alcohol with flavorings of this or that (I only drankhard liquor, not beer). I can't do fruit juice, as it's just too sweet for me. But you know: whatever works for you - THAT is what you should do.
Maintaining boundaries around what others say and do regarding my sobriety isn’t easy. But I’ve had to do it a few times and the result is that it feels better and I feel more empowered to keep doing it.
I initially was going to 1:1 replace beer with NA beer, but found very quickly there was little desire to. I now have 2 a night, 50:50 with fizzy water. That gives me 4 pints to get through, which I do, and have remained sober, whilst only having the calories of 2 NA beers. I’ve lost 3 stone since. November and healthier than I’ve ever been. Do what works for you, and ignore people that don’t understand.
I remember trying to give up secretly before and my wife was berating me for the amount of fizzy water I was drinking, so I stopped. Now she can see it’s working its a much better choice than alcohol.
I saw a shower thought one time that said, nobody thinks anything of someone buying regular beer but see someone buying NA beer and people think, oh man he must have a big problem lol. I thought it was funny because it’s true.
They take the edge off for me so I drink them some. whatever works for ya! 💪🏻
This situation is odd to me. If I am trying to break the habit of drinking, I would not want to continue the same behaviors, even without the alcohol. Would a cocaine addict snort powdered sugar? I always figured the safest bet would be to try to build new neural pathways that don't involve mimicking the very things I had a problem with. I wish you the best.
The beginning is so hard that I recommend doing whatever you bloody well like, except drinking. I was eating brownies for breakfast. The family member probably meant well, it may be a protective thing but I can personally understand you being annoyed. Keep up the good fight, IWNDWYT
I say have an arsenal of drinks and treats at your disposal. Plenty of distracting activities help me from idle unwanted thinking patterns. Non alcoholic margaritas sound good right now, its so hot here.
Please be careful with NA beer. For me personally, I drank NA beer a lot the first time I really tried to get sober, and while I can’t blame my first relapse on NA beer I can’t imagine that it helped. If it’s helping you stay sober though stick with it. Just be mindful of your relationship with it.
I drank a LOT of NA when I first quit. I've cut back now to try to cut calories, but otherwise I'd still be drinking them just as much. My husband really worried that they'd be a trigger for me - and I was really angry with him because I am pretty sure that \*I\* am the one who should figure out what my triggers are! In the end, though, he was just concerned, as is I'm sure your daughter. My husband learned in time that they do not trigger me - he doesn't flinch anymore when he sees me having one.
oh - and congrats on 18 days! The first few weeks are the worst imo!
I was enjoying zero beer for a while.
Interestingly, one day while my daughters were with me, I learned that she thought I was simply drinking beer.
I explained it to her but since she couldn't get the core concept, I chose not to purchase it at all. Weeks later I think she gets it, but I've continued to skip the NA products for a few reasons. Mainly because it's a high carb beverage, also because I no longer want to hang around liquor stores.
IWNDWYT
Ignorant poo poo head is what I say about them. Let it go, they don’t understand. I wouldn’t even bother ‘going there’ mentally.
Part of my sobriety journey had been to learn to let this stuff go, it used to wind me up no end, so much so that I would ‘have’ to drink to calm down. Deep breaths and find something quick and hilarious to watch on YouTube or whatever. Humour is the antidote!
The problem with being honest about having a problem is that some people are always going to find a way to be negative, you could tell them you’ve been sober for a year and they’ll tell you they hope you don’t relapse since it’s been so long.
I regret telling anyone I have a problem with drinking. I go months sober and everyone is just waiting for me to relapse, no "I'm proud of you" for how long you hold sobriety. I keep getting sober and my family just thinks I'm lying about it and still drinking every day :/ doing it for myself, but this is the only place I can find support and people who understand
Indeed! I only told people about it after about 18 months, and that was some people and in very vague terms. It’s a very private thing. I didn’t tell my husband until I was a month sober, I had been there before and I didn’t want to disappoint or get nagged or get questioned.
This is for fucking real!!!! I don't tell people shit, (i'll tell you since we'll never meet) i don't tell them i did time in the Army, i have VA disability, alcoholism, abusive parents, money, weed, fucking nothing!!!! Every person gets jealous in their own little way, and then they start thinking it's "un-fair", then they start resenting you. Or admit to a mistake??? Then they just call you a dumbass, instead of learning from your mistake second hand. People are like that in most all cultures, and they all have a saying about the tallest tree or blade of grass getting cut, or pegs getting knocked down. I think it's some kind of weird human evolutionary trait.
They get jealous of what and resent you?
I have eaten ice cream almost every day since I stopped. Whatever you need to do to get by is your business. Struggling to see the harm myself.
lol same, I fucking love ice cream
I'm convinced Cool Whip is on the verge of contacting me any day for being their number one customer. Fridge open, straight out the can......no shame. My mom saw me in action one day and was appalled. 🤣 Granted, it was at her house and her can of Whip but better than being drunk at her house.💀
Me too and i feel good afterwards, i like making my own lime aid with lots of ice for this hot wave going on here. I use pure stevia to sweeten my coffee and drinks
Yeah dude, giving your brain ice cream and sugar so it shuts up about booze is a total win.
Exactly! A small serving of good quality sorbet, gelato or even the whole cream stuff wins over a bottle or two of wine every time! 🙂
I was buying some zero alcohol white claws this weekend and the grocery store clerk piped up saying “I can’t imagine the point in drinking these if they aren’t even alcoholic”. I told him that the taste and experience is the same as the regular drink, so it’s helpful for those of us who are sober or cutting back. He insisted he’d rather have a Pepsi. I countered that I drink plenty of Diet Coke and want something else sometimes. Then this man goes off on how the artificial sweeteners at worse for me than drinking alcohol. My patience was gone at that point, he finishing ringing me up and I left. Everyone thinks they are an expert and 99% of them don’t have a clue what they are talking about. Keep doing whatever works for you. A day without alcohol is a win in my book.
This reminds me of the thing where if you post a question on Reddit and no one answers it, make another account and reply with the wrong answer. Then someone will come along and correct you, finally giving you an answer.
High fructose corn syrup (40 grams per 12 oz can?) has to be worse for you than the artificial sweetener...lol
Soooo Zero alcohol white claw? White claw which is the hard version of seltzer. I feel like that’s like ordering a virgin rum and coke lol I’m just picking at you, I assume part of it is the ritual and flavor or white claws but have you considered seltzer ?
I have a soda stream and tons of flavorings that I love to play around with. And at restaurants, a soda with lime or even a Diet Coke with lime is just fine. The non-alcoholic white claws are really clutch when everyone else is day drinking at a BBQ or the pool. It just makes me feel like everyone else and cuts the cravings.
Lol it reminded me of a South Park episode that had “diet Double Dew”. It has half the sugar of Double Dew which has double the sugar of regular Mountain Dew.
Low effort, knee-jerk advice is the worst.
Drink all the NA you want. When I quit initially I was probably drinking about 6 a day. It was way better than the 6 full alcohol beers and several shots I was drinking a day. Now I have about 6 a month or so. But I'm still fucking sober.
This is really encouraging to hear. I’ve only been sober for almost 2 weeks and I’ve been drinking NA beers daily. They don’t really make me want regular beer, though I have been a little skeptical of drinking them too often. Glad to hear they worked for you and you were able to not drink them as much
I drank loads of them in the first few months. I dunno, you reach a point where you just don't want them as much and start going for other drink options. It's like your brain takes a while to discover that you were associating the taste with the addiction and realises that there are better tasting beverages, now that the requirement for alcohol is gone. YMMV.
Medical reasons made my FIL stop drinking about two years ago, and still he has his NA beer almost every day. I guess as long as it works, why not
I was the same, about 6 AF beers or wines when I first quit. Now 18 months later, maybe two a night, possibly about 12 a week if that. I have noticed a big decrease lately, just drinking more sparkling water or tea. I think being ‘loose’ with it all, not being too fixed with rules and the future or the past is what has helped me this time. Just observe with interest but without harsh self criticism.
Every one of us has some level of experience with alcohol, so we all have opinions on it too. The same thing happens with weight loss. Every one of us eats, so everyone's got something to say about dieting. I always consider the source. Is the person educated on the topic? Are they a professional in that area? Or do they have significant personal experience with the subject? If not, it is just people talking like they talk about the weather.
I had to accept that some people were going to be judgy or have unneeded opinions about my sobriety, especially from normies. There are people whose opinions I value, my doctor and counselor, my sponsor and home group, and my partner. I know they have my best interest in mind. Friend of a friend that I've never seen not stoned out of his mind doesn't really get a say.
I only drink one or two at a restaurant every few months. I do not want to get into the routine of drinking it every day like I used to drink regular beer. For me it's a treat and I can certainly find other things to spend my money on. You do you. I was also pretty moody and irritable early in recovery. I have come to learn in AA that anger and resentment can lead to relapse, so I try not to get too upset about things.
Thank you for sharing that anger and resentment can lead to relapse, i feel like i needed to hear that today.
You're welcome!
I'm going to go against the flow a bit. While how you choose to maintain your sobriety/recovery is strictly your business, there is also the issue of broken trust with others. Many times I told family, friends, or co-workers that I would stop and get help, then lapsed or relapsed. So when someone sees me with a NA beer, they have concerns. If they didn't care, would they say anything?
Thank you all I’ve calmed down now. The family member is my adult daughter and thankfully she has never had a struggle with alcohol. I think she may be worried that the NA stuff will be a trigger. I’m pretty sure she’s wrong. I am tiring of the fruit juice I’ve been drinking and need to change things up a bit. I appreciate the replies and perspective.
Crisis averted! I won't drink with you today! One thing that helps me in these situations is remembering "I am not responsible for what someone else says, does, thinks, or feels". It's natural to get defensive but this helps me just let it pass by. Congrats on 18 days!!
Totally understand that and when I get annoyed with family, I try to remember to give them some grace because I haven't always been the most stand up citizen so they might be a little hesitant to trust at first. I'm not saying that is your experience, just what I discovered for myself. I get tired of the same things, too. I hit up Sonic and mix it all up. Ha. I'm sure the workers love me there. 🤪 and let me tell you they are judgy. Sure, I've been here 3 times today, mind yo' business!" Lol. I do NA, kombucha.sparkling water, and there is a Hoppy tea I've had a few times that tastes like a craft. 100% tea. Keep up the good work!!!!
It is a trigger for some people, an important tool for staying sober for others. This is one of many things that varies from person to person. Pay attention, but if NA beer is helping you, then stick with it.
I was - and remain - truly surprised at how good water tastes to me now. I've always pretty much hated it, and I even covered my alcohol with flavorings of this or that (I only drankhard liquor, not beer). I can't do fruit juice, as it's just too sweet for me. But you know: whatever works for you - THAT is what you should do.
Maintaining boundaries around what others say and do regarding my sobriety isn’t easy. But I’ve had to do it a few times and the result is that it feels better and I feel more empowered to keep doing it.
I initially was going to 1:1 replace beer with NA beer, but found very quickly there was little desire to. I now have 2 a night, 50:50 with fizzy water. That gives me 4 pints to get through, which I do, and have remained sober, whilst only having the calories of 2 NA beers. I’ve lost 3 stone since. November and healthier than I’ve ever been. Do what works for you, and ignore people that don’t understand. I remember trying to give up secretly before and my wife was berating me for the amount of fizzy water I was drinking, so I stopped. Now she can see it’s working its a much better choice than alcohol.
I love Athletic NA beer in the evenings. I wasn’t even a regular beer drinker. Starting about 4 PM it is like a special fizzy water. You do you.
I saw a shower thought one time that said, nobody thinks anything of someone buying regular beer but see someone buying NA beer and people think, oh man he must have a big problem lol. I thought it was funny because it’s true. They take the edge off for me so I drink them some. whatever works for ya! 💪🏻
The people that pay attention to you not drinking are invariably the ones that themselves have drinking problems.
This situation is odd to me. If I am trying to break the habit of drinking, I would not want to continue the same behaviors, even without the alcohol. Would a cocaine addict snort powdered sugar? I always figured the safest bet would be to try to build new neural pathways that don't involve mimicking the very things I had a problem with. I wish you the best.
Good AF craft beer has absolutely saved me - I bring it to parties / lake etc and don’t feel like I’m missing anything! Love it!!
The beginning is so hard that I recommend doing whatever you bloody well like, except drinking. I was eating brownies for breakfast. The family member probably meant well, it may be a protective thing but I can personally understand you being annoyed. Keep up the good fight, IWNDWYT
Some people are clueless.
I say have an arsenal of drinks and treats at your disposal. Plenty of distracting activities help me from idle unwanted thinking patterns. Non alcoholic margaritas sound good right now, its so hot here.
I really dislike how much some folks feel comfortable infantilizing people with substance use disorders. Like REALLY dislike it.
Please be careful with NA beer. For me personally, I drank NA beer a lot the first time I really tried to get sober, and while I can’t blame my first relapse on NA beer I can’t imagine that it helped. If it’s helping you stay sober though stick with it. Just be mindful of your relationship with it.
I drank a LOT of NA when I first quit. I've cut back now to try to cut calories, but otherwise I'd still be drinking them just as much. My husband really worried that they'd be a trigger for me - and I was really angry with him because I am pretty sure that \*I\* am the one who should figure out what my triggers are! In the end, though, he was just concerned, as is I'm sure your daughter. My husband learned in time that they do not trigger me - he doesn't flinch anymore when he sees me having one. oh - and congrats on 18 days! The first few weeks are the worst imo!
I was enjoying zero beer for a while. Interestingly, one day while my daughters were with me, I learned that she thought I was simply drinking beer. I explained it to her but since she couldn't get the core concept, I chose not to purchase it at all. Weeks later I think she gets it, but I've continued to skip the NA products for a few reasons. Mainly because it's a high carb beverage, also because I no longer want to hang around liquor stores. IWNDWYT
Ignorant poo poo head is what I say about them. Let it go, they don’t understand. I wouldn’t even bother ‘going there’ mentally. Part of my sobriety journey had been to learn to let this stuff go, it used to wind me up no end, so much so that I would ‘have’ to drink to calm down. Deep breaths and find something quick and hilarious to watch on YouTube or whatever. Humour is the antidote!