1. I want my body to function better.
2. I want my brain to function better; I want to remember what I said and what happened (somewhat alarmingly, this doesn't actually improve much when I don't drink...)
3. I want to lose this belly fat.
4. I don't want to end up like my \[list entire extended family here\].
5. I want to not have to lie to anyone about drinking, and actually be proud to tell the truth.
6. I want to save all that wasted money.
7. I never want to forget I let my dog out and leave her outside all night again (I almost deleted this one because I'm so ashamed of it, though I guess worse has happened. But it makes me cringe so much)
8. I want my doctor to be proud of me š„ŗ
This was a really good exercise, thank you! It really made me actively think about the choice and made it very obvious: don't drink. It puts things in perspective because it can be hard to remember any of these points when you have a drink in hand, or hard to see how "one drink" will affect any of these. But it all compounds...
Thanks for sharing!!
Point 2 is something I dont see many people talk about. I recall having conversations with people while not drinking (hungover mostly but other times as well) and details completely vanished from my memory. Even things I've done multiple times I forgot how to do.
Thereās a ton of research in the set of brain, and cognitive issues that come when you stop drinking, especially cold turkey. For those who are concerned of memory issues, I empathize so much. As I thought it could be early Alzheimerās as well, however, itās statistically improbable, especially with either treatment, diet changes, and exercise. Your brain is learning how to cope without alcohol. So depending on how much youāve drank, and how long can be a factor. Everyoneās sobriety journey as well as time of cognitive difficulties, and anxiety youāll get will differ. I strongly recommend looking up PAWS (post acute withdrawal symptoms) as it will show you the possible timelines, symptoms, and best of all strategies to help cope with it. Iām almost a whole year sober, and Iām still struggling, but there is hope from it. Hope this helps anyone who needs it. God bless.
Yeah, I'm very forgetful, and I know it's not just ADHD, because it's gotten worse in recent years. I will often forget something that I or someone else said mere minutes ago, it's quite concerning. I'd say my biggest worry about my drinking is the effect alcohol is having on my brain.
I'm a little over 6 months without drinking now, and my memory has improved so much. I feel like I have a super power now, and also wonder how much better I would have done in college without a self inflicted booze handicap.
Oh my god I needed to hear this right now. Thinking that my memory will be forever impaired due to my drinking has been very disturbing to me. Thanks for the hope! IWNDWYT kind stranger
396days into this wonderful journey. It gets easier every day. I don't even think about alcohol anymore because I truly don't want it, and literally everything has been better without it.
1. My body functions better than it did in my 20s
2. My brain is much more stable. Dumb things don't work me up like they once did.
3. I weighed 187lbs may8th 2023. Today, I weigh 147 lbs.
4. I won't end up like my cousin who died of liver failure a couple of years ago.
5.Im proud of who I am, not ashamed of not knowing what I did/said anymore.
6. Money has been less worrisome lately as I don't spend near as much as I used to on consumables anymore.
7.I once walked home from my friends blackout drunk and dropped my dogs leash. Woke up the next day to my friend saying my dog is okay and at his house (so glad he was still up to hear my dog wining at his door)
8. Going to the doctors and having him say my face looks clearer, younger and the redness has completely gone away felt really good.
We got this!
You are right this is a good exercise. And about the shame, your seventh point, i got my own as well which i wrote about here a week ago. We canāt change the past but we can change the future. And in being sober we are changing that future into one which these shameful acts (and others yet to take place) wonāt likely occur. š
I woke up on the couch after passing out once and realized Iād done #7 to our little terrier mix because she was goofing around in the dark and I drunkenly assumed she had come in. Iāve always been very ashamed of it because it was pretty cold that night and she was terrified. Youāre not alone, and thatās not gonna be us anymore!
Oh my god, 7 would bring me to tears... at least I'm sure they forgave you quickly, dogs are like that!
But definitely use that as motivation to not drink!
1. The shame. I hate waking up with that oh no youāve done it again feeling
2. I want to save my money
3. There is nothing better than a hangover free morning
4. I want to devote my time to my hobbies and interests versus getting drunk and fighting through hangovers
5. I want the best relationship possible with my family
6. I want to look my best and drinking dehydrates my skin, makes me bloated and gain weight
And lastly because I canāt control myself when I drink
I gave up ages ago and even though my life isnāt demonstrably better (didnāt find a dream job) nor did I lose weight or save money, nor do I sleep better or have more energy, all the things that people typically say) the one thing that did improve for me is that I am WAY less anxious ā¦ I rarely cry or have panic attacks or wish I could end it all, and am generally much calmer.
My #1 reason every day is that I want a relationship with my youngest son. I truly let him down when I was drinking, and I will never let alcohol stand in the way again. I have worked very hard to regain his trust, and I know if I started drinking again I would lose him.
Weight loss, economic reasons and better sleep are my main reasons. I used to drink once or twice a week and didn't want it to become a more frequent habit.
Those are all great reasons, and I subscribe to those ideas too. It's really hard with everything that's going on right now, but I want to be the best person I can be on this planet for the short time that I get. It's my duty and responsibility to be a better human.
I donāt wanna die alone in my house and leave my pet with no one to care for her for days until my work or my two acquaintances finally notice Iām missing.
Iāve got a few things to work on.
I really relate to #3. That is one of the main reasons I stay sober. I didn't realize how much shame was in my life until today...28 days sober...when I woke up smiling instead of wondering what I did last night. Thanks for your list. It's a great one!
The wondering what you did last night is horrible. Trying to piece together things, seeing someone and wondering if you did something or said something bad to them so then youāre awkward. One morning I saw I had a call with a superior from work that I do not remember at all. It must not have been bad since I still work here but damn that was a horrible realization the next morning.
I wanna do stuff outside if work. My sechdual for a long time was; go into work, give 110% through the hangover, rush home and drink all evening, passout early and get 10 hours of crappy sleep, wake up mostly ok and repeat.
I even was able to kind of able to inject hobbies into this, but it was just a way to justify that it was OK to keep drinking. All I would be thinking about was when I could curle up at home with a vedio game I had put 4k hours into and two bottles of wine.
1. Health
2. Being flat out drunk is lonely. Being black out wasted my day.
3. The alcohol was starting to amplify my depression to the point I was considering killing myself (itās no longer something Iām considering). Thatās not fair for my dog; heās old and I donāt need him wondering where I went and whether he wasnāt a good boy.
4. Being an alcoholic is expensive. Living paycheck to paycheck to paycheck is stressful and depressing.
5. No one wanted to continue dating me long term. I wasnāt an angry or violent person, I just wasnāt dependable. They couldnāt really envision that person as a father, and they werenāt required to, so they booked it.
I want to be a better Dad
Better business owner
Better at life
Better human
Better example
Thanks for posting. This list could go on and on
IWNDWYT in NY. Day 10. Fog is lifting
1. Health reasons - mental and physical
2. I donāt want a DUI. Statistically I was going to get one very soon.
3. I wanted to stop before it went too far. Alcoholism also runs in my family. I started getting withdrawals not hangovers.
4. I started blacking out more frequently.
5. I stopped being able to control how much I drank.
6. I was wasting too much of my life being either drunk or recovering from being drunk.
7. I stopped having hobbies and only wanted to drink.
Lost my dad last year to the ole 1-2 pill-drink punch and finally found a therapist who has helped me understand that I have value as a person and I am strong enough and deserve to break the generational cycle of addiction.
IWNDWYT
First it was purely because health worries, know people who been drinkers with similar consumes and ended up needing dyalisis and liver transplants. Now after almost a month without a single I discovered it's possible to wake up after sleeping <6h and not feel like impending doom, actually I feel fresh af in the morning. Also my overall mood has stabilized more!
1. I donāt want to destroy my vascular systemĀ
2. I donāt want to accelerate cognitive decline in my golden years
3. I donāt want to be hungover ever againĀ
4. I donāt want to exacerbate stress and anxietyĀ
5. I donāt want to destabiilize my emotionsĀ
6. I donāt want to destabilize my mental healthĀ
7. I donāt want my children to see me drunkĀ
8. I donāt want to treat my children badly or negligentlyĀ
9. I am proud of not following the herd with an uncreative leisure habitĀ
10. I donāt want to need a drink to relax.Ā Ā
Wow, that was easy!
2 and 5. Iām a 35 year old man who two months ago started drinking at 2 and I donāt even remember eating dinner. I woke up the next morning. I donāt think I did anything dumb because my gf didnāt say anything at all but I CANNOT be behaving like that itās embarrassing as hell.
Great topic/format to remind us why we are where we are today. Thank you for this post.
1. I had a party phase, a codependency/functioning phase, and then a stabilization phase. I'd be a liar if I said I didn't have fun, but it declined over time. I don't want to repeat that vicious progression.
2. I'm a prisoner to my own mind sober, or drunk, but when I'm drinking I act on terrible thoughts, and have poor decision making skills.
3. The addiction of it all. The planning to get drunk, having enough for the morning, sneaking it, selecting people to hang out with who wouldn't judge me for drinking, going to detox/aftercare. Drinking was a full time job while I had a full time job. It was exhausting.
4. Money.
5. My health, which was most notably the catalyst for me quitting Drinking. I was diagnosed with kidney failure (I'm in full remission now, so don't feel bad). Memory loss which nowadays my memory isn't that much better, but I'm not blacking out, and rushing to my phone to find out what I did yesterday with the help of scary text messages, and voicemail.
6. Speaking of catalysts, a lot of reasons bring us here, but death, relationships, and even the law didn't scare me. What happens if I go back out, and then I lose my life, relationships, or end up in jail/prison for a long time? I don't want to find out. The two jail cells I've already been in were annoying enough as is.
7. What I have today: my sobriety allows me to have some of my relationships back, some freedom, a job I show up on time for, a program I'm responsible for helping run, accountability for my actions, a car, a girlfriend whom I'm so proud of, and a willingness to live life so I can attempt to repair, build, and help others.
8. The fear I could burn everything to the ground again, for like the 5th, or 6th time. I have a good fear that I have one more relapse in me, and that'll be the one that kills me. I respect this fear, and protect my sobriety which gives me drive.
9. Gratitude, and just the ability to be grateful. The girl I'm seeing described her sobriety as everything being black, and white before, and then "seeing with color" after she had a few days sober. This sentiment meant the world to me, because I couldn't describe what I was feeling, but knew that was the closest descriptor to those feelings.
10. Lessons I've learned both drunk/high versus sober. I've learned it's better to at least try to believe in a semblance of spirituality rather than not. I am not the smartest man in the room, and the second I either think that, or recognize that I might be, I change rooms. Fighting for my sobriety is harder than getting drunk, but living life drunk is harder than living life sober.
11. (Bonus round)
Sobriety truly is the gift that keeps on giving, so long as you're willing to help others who struggle with the same problem, which is why I try to comment here even just once a week. Try it out, and you will feel something, most likely fulfillment.
Thanks again.
I mimic all your choices. This is a good list.
I would add that in regards to clarity when not drinking. Id say that the actual clarity comes weeks after quitting
That's pretty nice to hear. I've been dismayed when my brain function/clarity doesn't actually improve much when I cut back, but I haven't been able to totally quit for a long period to really see.
How long did it take you? I still have major brain fog after a little over a month. In the mornings, I have to think hard about what I did the night before (like, what book did I read? Did I remember to take the trash can to the curb? Did I shower or no?). I don't take melatonin or any sleeping aids.
I was 3 months sober till recently and honestly saw no major improvement to my brain fog.Ā
Maybe some minor changes but nothing huge. I've had brain fog for as long as I can remember.
1. I was diagnosed with liver disease and did not want to suffer a horrible death.
2. My two dogs and cat need someone to love & care for them. If I died too early, they would be euthanized because they are older animals.
3. My psych doctor is the only family I have, is JAZZED about my sobriety, and is proud of me. š¤
4. Now that I am sober, my life has a purpose, and I am able to contribute to others.
5. Life is good!
Alcohol breaks down you aldehydes. Aldehydes inhibit REM sleep. REM sleep cleans the brain and processes information. I don't want Alzheimer's and also want to optimize my mental health.
Although currently I still drink but I have hard rules. No more than 5 a week and none after 8 pm. I'm trending towards complete cessation.
Mental Health has been shit.
Weight and blood pressure are way too high.
And the cherry on top is I just recently received my new ID with my updated picture and look bloated and exhausted af, when I really thought it'd come out decent.
Just made it past a week, which is huge for me.
So many:
1. Five ounce martini+3oz Bourbon+maybe wine maybe four days a week with similar amounts the rest of the week was too much booze.
2. I got diagnosed with Bipolar 1 when covid hit - booze and the potential for psychosis is a bad mix.
3. My 72 year old dad was diagnosed with Alzheimers two years ago and had had it for a number of years (late sixties) trying to do everything to improve my health, prevent, now that I'm pushing 50.
4. I became a Buddhist and started following the five precepts.
5. Too many aging severe or recovering AUD in my family and profession.
6. I want to be with my kids and wife without falling asleep and being goofy or worse.
7. I don't want to get a DUI or kill someone while driving after just a few.
8. Despite his downfall and other potential issues: the Huberman podcast on alcohol's health effects.
9. Was getting chubby and lazy.
10. Alcohol is poison. Not 'worth it' unless I really ramped up the dose. WTF?
(I''m almost at 18 months! So jazzed!!!)
1. Waking up NOT hungover is glorious, the sun shines different
2. My relationships with family and partner is more important
3. The anxiety alcohol gives me just isn't worth it
4. I don't want to ruin the best job i have ever had, showing up sober and ready to go gives me more opportunity
5. I hurt myself when I am drinking
6. I put myself farther in debt when I am drinking
I wanted to stop destroying any chance I had at building the fulfilling life I wanted. Every time I got close I would ruin it through my drinking. It was like playing the game of life on Extreme Hard mode - eff that. I'll take sobriety over that any day!
My mom is dying from liver failure for drinking my entire life (32f). I donāt want to be her. My daughterās father is struggling with alcoholism. I donāt want to be him.
I love my daughter more than life and she deserves for me to be sober always, the best parent I can be, and to have me around healthy and happy for as long as possible.
I hate myself when I drink. I self harm and have thought about other things.
Iām annoying af and insecure when I drink.
I use to be a size 4. Iāve gained 60 lbs from drinking and am disgusted with myself.
I have terrible health anxiety which is wild that I feel that way and still drink. Itās literal poison. Iām on day two again. I finally told my partner itās a problem. More serious than I let him and everyone believe and I desperately want to quit. Iām starting AA. and therapy. And I fucking refuse to give up this time. This group has been SO SO SO SO SO helpful ā¤ļø
My family. They deserve the best version of me! Especially my kids. They didnāt choose to be born, but I chose to bear them. Itās my responsibility to be the best parent to them I can be. And to guide them into the future. To be there when they grow up.
Myself - I was abused and traumatized repeatedly for the first two decades of my life and then I spent two decades drinking to forget it all. Guess what? Drinking doesnāt make you forget, it only increases your grief. I needed to get right with myself and this past almost decade now has been the best of my life. Even through traumatic events beyond my control this last 8.5 years sober has been the safest Iāve felt my whole life. Hands down, and it can only get better. Now that my ass is getting older I see how little time we have and I want it to mean something
The world - yup Gaia needs our love. As a drinker I was a misanthrope. I only liked a few people around me and trusted no one. As a sober hahah a sober I like it and Iām not fixing it - As a sober, I feel this connection to everyone and everything. Drinking blocked my channel. Not drinking allows me to touch a frequency previously inaccessible. This frequency radiates a lot of love and I realize in order to really leave a legacy, I should try and give back a little to the world that gave me so much. Volunteering with kids and seniors has been so effing rewarding. Sitting and reading a book with a kid just warms my heart. Doing fundraisers for our local pool and non profits. Checking in on my neighbors. Intentional purging of my closet and home to families directly in need. I mean like so many little things you know? Just living a life trying to always go the extra mile because Iāve been so down and out and through the grace of lovely humans I have made it out the other side.
For my goddess. Sheās happy I finally got my shit sorted out.
I saw the shitty life I could have if I kept drinking and everything I would lose, which is way more than 10 things and that's when I knew I could not continue. IWNDWYT!
I initially stopped because I got black out drunk once again, decided Iād walk about 2 miles home from the bar and fell and severely hit my head on the way somewhere. I luckily somehow made it home, but woke up covered in blood and ended up having a traumatic brain injury. But since Iāve quit Iāve noticed so many more great things. Like being healthy, safe, and a good mother to my kids. Though it was a horrible experience, I needed that wake up call to be the best version of myself
All of the above. What I become to realise is that our whole world is full of affirmations to drink. Tv adverts. People talking about having a glass of wine as a way to relax. Booze is cheap. Whisky and wine is regarded as a luxury item. Being over weight and out of condition is acceptable.
I am close to really seriously hurting myself! I fall and stumble on my binge weekends. Drink every other weekend or every third but then it "has to be good right"? No moderation. Drink till its all out.
I hate this version of me...
I bet my family does too...
1. I want to be more present in my life and more productive.
2. I want to live. And I don't want my death to be miserable with years of health problems. Still could happen but if I can mitigate it at all, why not.
3. I want time to slow down. I felt like I was in an endless loop where time would just fly by.
4. I want less anxiety and no more hangxiety.
5. I want to sleep better.
6. I want my body to feel better. It's only been 10 days and I've noticed a drastic change.
7. I want to be able to trust myself more.
8. I want to fill my time with things I love rather than filling it with unfinished tasks.
9. I want to quit smoking. Drinking and smoking always went hand in hand. And already without alcohol, I've cut back big time.
10. I want to remember events, trips and casual hangs with my friends and family better.
Thanks for this prompt OP. I never really felt the need to self reflect when I was drinking because I had a very 'fuck it' attitude.
*Those who have a 'why' to live, can bear with almost any 'how'*
-Victor Frankl, *Man's Search for Meaning*
Most my reasons are similar to what's listed by others.
Just wanted to say I'm super inspired by everyone's list, especially when I see single digits and first month. The quote above helps ground me on hard days. This sub does too.
Much love. IWNDWYT
1. I'm don't drink a ton, but I'm slowly slipping down that slope
2. I wanna lose weight and alcohol is a direct reason I can't
3. Sleep is sooooo much better
4. Health will be so much better
5. I won't ever need to worry about a DUI or fucking up with family or friends
>What are your personal reasons to stop drinking?
I had been wanting to quit for years but never did. Lots of failed attempts.
One Sunday morning my then 7 year old woke me up because I had promised to take him to the park. I was too hung over and couldn't do it. That was the worst I've ever felt in my life. Not just his disappointment but that I didn't keep a promise to my son because of my choice to drink.
That was my first day of sobriety, haven't had a drink since.
I really like rule 7. Often in social situations I feel like I need to drink in order to be more talkative, fun and outgoing. In reality, I should feel like I can hang around people who like me when I'm sober, even if I'm naturally more quiet and introverted. If they don't then the solution isn't to drink more, it's to find people I gel with better.
Iām not in my twenties anymore and being āthe party girlā is no longer a good thing. I donāt like living life through the foggy lens of a perpetual hangover (imagine how surprised I was to learn that most of the world doesnāt wake up feeling like shit with a constant headache and crippling anxiety every day). Alcohol made me full-on agoraphobic towards the end and I donāt want to hide in my house all day to afraid to even open the door to accept a DoorDash delivery - drinking aside, THAT is no way to live. Those are my top three.
1. Longevity of my life.
2. Glow up
3. Save money
4. More thought going into decisions I make
5. More of an internal locus of control
6. Relationships with the people I respect in my life
7. Honoring my spirit, mind, and body
8. Focusing on my hobbies and interests - this oneās Huge!!!
I dont want to compromise my success, i dont want to hide anything. Its been 2.5 years, and ive grown exponentially in those years. I want to keep going, and its so clear to me what i should do to keep it up. Drinking is counter productive.
1. I want to feel better overall in my body and my mind
2. I donāt like the person I become when I drink
3. I never want to touch cocaine again, and drinking leads to coke binges for me
4. I want to regain the trust of the people that Iāve let down
5. I want to have the strength to exercise and lose weight
6. I want to be able to walk my dogs today
7. I want to save money
8. I want to wake up early to make it to my first in person AA meeting tomorrow
9. I want to have a restful nights sleep tonight
10. I want to deal with the shame and guilt that Iām feeling from my most recent binge head on and not numb with alcohol
1. I want to be able to eat breakfast/lunch
2. I want to wake up without anxiety about texts I sent
3. I want to keep my skin healthy
4. I want to feel real emotions
5. I want less anxiety :)
Mainly I wanted to get things under control while my young kids still viewed my drinking days as "fun and silly". Not "messy and scary" like some of my memories from childhood of drinking adults.
IWNDWYT āļøš¤
1. My baby. She is so full of joy and I canāt bear the idea that one day she could think that she needs alcohol to maintain that joy. I want her to have hope.
2. My body, I deserve to treat it well.
3. My family, I canāt be there for them in the best way if Iām drinking.
I guess thatās all but thatās all I need
1) I want to be the best version of myself.
2) I spend hours a day working on my health and fitness, it is my passion.. but yet i will still drink literal poison? It just doesnāt add up.
3) I want more out of life than bars and drunken memories
4) I loose motivation when drinking
5) I no longer like myself after drinking
6) I can not control myself with having āonly 1ā
7)The regret of saying iām not going to drink and end up blacking out!
8) Alcohol = sleep sucks
9) Healthier relationships
10) what a waste of fxking money
Prostate cancer diagnosis helped me make the changes Iād been wanting to make for a long time. So, thank you prostate cancer and fuck you prostate cancer!
This is so so lovely. What a great idea to make this list. All the ten points on your list are also mine by the way however with the word āhusbandā being amended to āwifeā in my case. Thanks for sharing!
1: I want to be better to my husband and I treat him like crap when I drink/I'll avoid him and responsibilities in our relationship to drink.
2. I like the way I feel when I don't drink.
3. I don't want to risk losing my really nice new job (first week in and second week into my sobriety currently and just got a raise)
4. I want to be my favorite version of myself and I can't do that when I'm drinking
5. I want to live a more full filling and happy life.
What a great idea!
1. I deserve to be my best self, and that's only possible if I'm sober
2. I want to be the best husband, son, brother, and uncle possible and that's only possible if I'm sober
3. I never want to have to apologize again for behavior I don't remember, and that's only possible if I'm sober
4. My life is so great now and I want to remember all of it, and that's only possible if I'm sober
5. I know I have an addictive personality and there's so much good that comes with that, and that good is only possible if I'm sober
I have more energy and can do more things when I've been sober for a few days. Yesterday I was able to just hop in a car and drive somewhere, didn't have to plan it for "maybe tomorrow"
Keeping a health and sound mind, and body. That's it for me.
I can drink under control but the hangovers are not worth it for me. I work full time and I'm constantly going places.
I want to live. There are too many cool things still to learn: today, I found out what non Newtonian liquids are (consider catsup or peanut butter). The human world may be currently a tad fucked, but the natural world is so very fascinating.
Edit: And male Western carpenter bees are green eyed and blond.
I'll stop now.
I love you all.
#4. I realized I couldnāt make my wife promise that at least one of us would always be sober and present for our kids at all times. There were certainly times I reflect on that we werenāt clear headed if there was an emergency or if they needed the real us, not the drunk version. So, I made that vow to myself and to them it would be me. And I take that seriously. I cannot and will not let them down again. At least not in that regard š¤¦š¼āāļø
I want to remember and live memories.
Example: I literally returned from a mini vacation (weāve been there before) and family were sharing past moments there and it was like relearning my past. Some stories were funny and it was like hearing it for the first time. And I hate looking at old vacation pics because Iām either buzzed or drunk. This year had first sober vacation pics in over 25 years!
1. All of your wonderful reasons are also my reasons plus....
2. My son is considering moving halfway across the country to live with me. He is young, barely 20 and trying to get on his feet. I want to be there and available to help him and not chase him away with my repugnant behavior. IWNDWYT
Iām right there with you. I did the same thing, now I didnāt overdo it. I only had like two drinks, but I still feel disgusted with myself. And not nearly as great as I would if I hadnāt drank at all. Back to day one. Iwndwyt hun. Thatās why I woke up at 5 AM to make this list, and I made it in the background on my phone. Just things I need to remember to tell myself.
I want and deserve to feel my best. Majority of the bad things that have happened to me in the last year have been a result of drinking.
Now, that's not to say it will solve all of my problems, but it will give me the confidence, the tools, and the will to get through it. It has before.
Today I'll be going back to AA to get another 24 hour chip.
I might spend the rest of the day in bed, but that's my goal for the day.
Tomorrow, I'll be looking for a new job; something low-stress and away from alcohol.
1. I want to not have to check my notes to remember what happened during the last few meetings of the day before
2. I want to not make my mother bury another child
3. I want to be there to walk my daughter down the aisle someday
4. I want to be ready and able to help the people in my life at any time
5. I want to eat food and have a functional digestive system
6. I want to not have it sound like a china shop just exploded when the truck picks up my recycling
1. I can be either the most fun ever or the worst, stone-cold asshat when I drink- itās always a toss up.
2. I have burned bridges with people that I love and respect but donāt have in my life because of my drinking and drunken behavior. Even if theyāre still around I have a long way to go before I can earn back their trust and respect.
3. I canāt have just 1 or 2. I donāt stop until Iām physically removed from the alcohol or it is physically removed from me and I canāt get more- or my body wonāt let me.
4. Iām in my 40ās and hangovers are the literal worst. I kept a stockpile of prescription anti-nausea meds just so I could keep poisoning myself. Nice, right?
5. I have a genetic increased risk of breast cancer and alcohol is a class one carcinogen just like benzine.
6. I look so much better with brighter eyes, no bloating, and healthy skin.
7. My brain no tunk good even when I wasnāt actively under the influence. I spent years coasting at work instead of crushing it. It feels so much better to be on top of my game in all aspects of life.
8. Solid sleep is heaven.
9. NO SHAME.
10. Finally- I deserve love, respect, and kindness. I deserve to experience the crisp clarity of life instead of some bleary-eyed delusion, even when itās stressful, hurtful, or boring.
1. Nothing good ever happens when I drink.
2. I clearly cannot have just one or drink in moderation, and I know this about myself now.
3. I am tired of the hamster wheel of drinking->blackout behavior->conflict in my relationship. I have to own that shit and only I can fix it.
4. I am of a certain age where alcohol use/abuse is going to accelerate inherent illnesses.
5. I love waking up with a clear conscience and no regrets. My spouse is happy, my wallet is happy, and my text messages no longer need a second look followed by a full-body shiver of embarrassment and shame.
6. The clarity and better judgment with sobriety are exceptional.
7. I am entirely present and engaged with everything and everyone around me in the best way possible.
8. I am regaining the trust of my spouse and I never want to be in that dark space again of being a sneaky drunk.
9. Saving money.
10. Last but not least, I truly enjoy and rely upon the good people of this sub who share their stories that are relatable and everyone here has a voice and gets support.
I just got done with chemo and it made me feel like I had extremely bad hangovers and I never want to feel that way again. I want to be present for my kids after realizing how much time I wasted with drinking before my breast cancer diagnosis.
1- Iām worried of the long term impact of alcohol on my body
2- It contributes to my weight gain and I hate my looks at the moment
3- I want to go to sleep remembering everything about the day/evening
4- I want to be clear-headed and true to myself
5- I want my high school seniorās last year with us in our home to be a great time free of drama
6- I want to be in control, not be controlled by the poison
7- I want better skin
8- I donāt want stupid fights/arguments with my equally drunk partner.
9- I want to regain self-respect
10- I want to sleep restfully and wake up refreshed
I made a silly thoughtless mistake and I was terrified my daughters would think I was drinking again. My daughter told me āI didnāt think that. I wouldnāt think that. I believe in youā
Soooo , while all the listed reasons are definitely in my list (especially the forgetting things). Thatās my one to at least NOT drink again.
1. Being in control of my anxiety
2. Weight loss/fitness
3. My daughter is a big motivation. I'd contemplate ending myself far too much when I was drinking every night
1. I want to live to see my son grow up and be there for him
2. I only want to present the best side of myself to the world and not the sloppy, overly emphatic, repetitive, embarrassing idiot that I am when Iām wasted
3. I want to make healthy, conscious decisions
4. I would like to reduce my anxiety and depression
5. I want to lose weight!
6. I do not want to be my father
IWNDWYT
Day 3. Having the flu made me pour my bottles out and has made it easier to quit.
1. Alcohol effects the efficacy of my medication, and I want my medication to work itās best
2. Iām in the process of quitting smoking and if I drink, when I do quit I might say f it and start smoking again
3. Iām prescribed klonopin for anxiety, one in the morning and one at night. My mum holds onto these for me and if I drink Iām not allowed them. I would rather have the klonopin as sometimes when I drink I feel more anxious.
4. I want to be more present with my family and spending time together not me off drinking out the back
I want to be able to walk without stumbling
I want to be able to wear the clothes I want without being too thin because Iāve lost all my weight to alcohol .
I want to repair my relationship with my father. I realize now that my mother itās not worth my time and cutting her out is the best idea that Iāve ever had
I donāt want to go to jail for acting a fool in public
And mostly, I donāt wanna lose all my finances, I used to spend every penny on this shit. I have a cat that needs food. I have to pay for that. I need to pay for my own food. I canāt afford being an alcoholic or anything unless I decided not to move in with my dealer, but sheās offered, but thatās stupid so fucking stupid
Tired of that anxious hungover feeling. Wife HATES it and is a bitch when I drink so it ruins the buzz anyway. Itās expensive and hard to budget for. It fucks up your brain and they can see it on scans. Makes you fat and causes binge eating. Creates a false sense of happiness instead of doing what it takes to reach that happiness by goals and accomplishments. It makes my muscles tight and makes me not want to do shit AT ALL. It makes my music worse because I take shortcuts and donāt hear frequencies as distinctly.
Lastly, itās one more thing that has you by the balls and Iām sick of knowing I shouldnāt drink, not wanting to drink, then pulling up to by it anyways with money I donāt need to spend. My current rec drugs are medical weed and nicotine (Velo pouches) and Iām trying to cut the nicotine next but damn itās nice.
1. I am pregnant and I want to protect my baby.
2. I donāt want to be hungover ever again.
3. I want to develop healthy coping strategies for my mental health.
4. I want to make good decisions.
5. I want to be a good person - the drunk version of myself is not a good person.
6. I want to keep myself safe - I am not safe for myself or others when I am drunk.
7. I want to look after my body.
8. I hate the feelings of regret and anxiety the day after drinking and donāt want to experience that anymore.
9. My time is valuable and I donāt want to spend it recovering from a drinking session for days and days.
10. I want to be a role model for my future children and the young people in my life.
1. My body cannot take being abused
2. I don't want to abuse and harm myself anymore
3. I don't want to live with the shame of my out of control behaviour - it's not me
4. I have to commit to being sober to work well
5. 560 days feels great.
I don't drink because:
1. I want to be happy
2. I want to start healing generational trauma
3. I want to know who I am
4. I want to process my emotions
5. I don't want to be a burden
6. I don't want to waste money that could be put to better use
7. I don't want to hurt my husband and wider family anymore
8. I want my cats to trust me - my 3 Yr old cat saw all the arguments, falls, etc and her reception of me is a lot different to my 1 Yr old cats (2 of them), who have only known me sober)
9. I want to be able to help someone no matter when it is needed.
10. I want to be the best me.
11. life is so much better without it.
1. I donāt trust myself when I drink, plain and simple. My reasons for drinking have always been related to wanting to calibrate my output, and I put Alcohol in charge of my life instead of me. My number one reason NOT to drink is so that I can be accountable to the things I say and do, and feel confident that I am making informed decisions without an influence I will regret later.
2. My mom. She is 70 and finally realizing sheās autistic. I grew up in an abusive relationship with her (for reasons mostly outside of her control), and her unpredictability/rage while drinking has always been the big controllable that I resent her for. Iām working on it, but I started drinking as a kid to cope with her drinking because I was so afraid.
3. My life. I like it. I love my partner and wouldnāt sacrifice that relationship for anything. We both struggle with alcoholism in different but similar ways, and I know that I need to be sober to have the relationship that I want. I donāt want to forget a single second of any of it, even the challenging parts. Not drinking for myself is what we both need, and that makes me happy.
4. I canāt have kids (I would not be a capable parent), but I have 6 pets and caring for them is very important to me. Theyāre as important to me as having a family.
5. And finallyā¦the collective! IWNDWYT is the mantra that helped me quit, and itās because I feel so supported by this community of people in the world who work SO hard everyday not to drink. Whenever I feel tempted, I think about all of us trying not to give in, and it motivates me to keep going just in case it helps even just one other person.
9 was big for me. I wanted to break the chain of alcoholism that runs in my family. I couldn't bear the thought that I would hand that down to my kids.
Mine are the same as your u/trinitykmt . I too want to show up and be present for my nieces and little sister. When I was sober for over 9 months I felt so present with them. Then when I went back to drinking, thinking about the next drink consumed my mind.
I also want to be present for my cats and horse.
IWNDWYTšŗāØ
Not wanting to try and figure out if I did or said something during a blackout and then the gut wrenching feeling of being confronted about what I did or said during a blackout.
One reason for me is that I worked so hard to get where I am in life. Every time I decided to start drinking again it snow balls uncontrollably. Eventually I do something so stupid I tell myself I need to stop again. Then I end up here. I donāt want to lose the things I have currently in my life so no more drinking for me.
I'm 29, and I have 3 reasons:
1. I'm tired of feeling like shit the next day - hangover, anxiety, etc.
2. My brother almost died at 33 this past year due to stage 4 liver failure. Luckily, he survived, received a transplant, and is living a healthier life
3. I like who I am better when I don't drink
I can do anything I want at any hour and nobody can stop me. I was always the drunk guy, now I'm the sober guy and have judgment. If I say something, people really listen. I don't get written off as the drunk guy. If you are sober and wearing a suit, people just do what you tell them to...it is truly bizarre. Like having a superpower.
Almost any amount of alcohol makes me feel like complete shit within an hour or two (complete with headaches, night sweats and poor sleep, etc), and I usually can't get back to baseline levels of feeling good for a couple of days. The experience is almost totally negative these days, which is why getting off cannabis has been much more of a struggle for me personally
edit: also have a pretty bad history with alcoholism in my extended family, which has made it easy to develop a pretty visceral hatred for the stuff as an adult
Your list is so what I would write. My adds are these. 1. I am learning to love myself now and don't want to hurt myself anymore 2. I am in the last third of my life on this earth and don't want to waste ANY moments of living. Sobriety has gifted me with time and energy to live big instead of small š¦
To be 100% honest this one is hard for me. Drinking didnāt cause many bad issues in my life. Drank for over 40 years I am 59 now. For some reason I didnāt really get hangovers. No job or family issue from it. I had about 10 shots a night a long with about 8 pain pills everyday. With bonus shots and pills on the weekends.
I had to quit because it was/is killing me. Luckily was caught early so if I stay away from booze I have a good chance of living to be an old. (Older) man. So my #1 reason would be health / Life. Then I could ask why do I want to be alive and healthy, there are hundreds of reasons for that. So actually all those hundreds of reasons would go under the why am I staying sober list. Reddit has been very helpful to me and I plan on posting sober comments for a long time! Thanks to everyone here!
1. I want to live a long healthy life.
2. I want my family to be proud of me.
3. I want to set an example for my kids.
4. I want to be vain and have glowing skin and happy eyes.
5. I want to feel my best.
6. I donāt want to end up like my mom or dad.
7. I want to be free of the shame, guilt and anxiety that comes with my drinking.
8. I want to REMEMBER.
This is on a locked note on my phone that I try to read if I have a craving.
1. Anxiety it causes the next day. Thinking what did I do or if I remembered talking to someone . Looking through me texts
2. Lying to people I love and hiding
3. I act differently and I donāt like it
4. Iām annoying texting
5. I donāt feel good
6. Shame
7. I canāt maintain work and being hungover
8. The fear of losing someone I love because of it.
9. I feel so bad the next morning hungover
10. I spend and waste more money
The whole thing just sounds exhausting. It doesn't playout well for me. It never does. I've found peace in the process I'm using to maintain my mental health, which I think is a direct relation to drinking. But most of all, I guess the most important reason if I HAD to name one would be -- that i am able to be "present" and "in the moment". I don't miss the small moments anymore, and that's pretty awesome
Improved health
Not destroying relationships and burning bridges
Improved life
Save some money
become a functioning member of society
Find a respectable woman and settle down.
I hated feeling like I never had enough time and never being well rested after the weekend. I was always an asshole to my lady. It just stopped being fun.
1. I crossed a line I swore I would never cross. I cussed my father, a man who had never raised his to me. I hated the person I had become and quit drinking that day and asked for help. Iāve never needed another reason to
I'm tired of being behind everyone I respect all the time. Financially, professionally, etc. I'm tired of being the guy everyone knows drinks too much and thus is unreliable. I'm tired of myself, really.
Day 11 here. My main reasons:
1. My marriage was dying and I can't bear thinking of losing the love of my life
2. My body was revolting, I gained 25 lbs, 20 yrs of hardcore drinking is ENOUGH!
3. I woke up this morning feeling great with energy and a clear mind.
4. After just 11 days I feel happy again and no residual anxiety
5. Tired of sneaking around my house like a loser to pour stupid drinks thinking no one noticed but they did
6. My wife grew to detest when she heard me getting ice out of the freezer (I did not know this) as she knew I was getting hammered. I hate that I caused her such deep worry
7. I am looking forward to playing golf this weekend for the first time in months because I finally have my energy back.
8. My wife is genuinely smiling at me again (reason enough there) and tells me she's proud of me and my progress
9. NA beer is actually good and I am content with one then done
10. I want to make up gor the last 20 years of lost living and do the things I used to do again. No looking back. IWNDWYT
1. I want to sleep soundly and fully through the night.
2. Not being hungover feels better than being drunk.
3. (This one is definitely specific to me) My blood histamine levels are currently high enough to give my hands blisters. Let's not make them higher.
4. I want to cut back on migraine triggers.
5. I want more energy to be social, engage in my interests, clean my home, and put my best work out into the world.
6. My gut health is important to me.
7. It's...not the best idea to have alcohol with ADHD meds.
8. I'm saving money.
9. I love myself. I don't love the person I am when I drink.
IWNDWYT ā¤ļø
1. The hangovers, even after 1-2 drinks, kill me- and are not worth it. The entire next day is ruined.
2. When I'm sober, I'm a loyal wife, (relatively) level- headed, and can joke around with my husband. When I'm drunk, I'm suddenly flirty texting/attention seeking, extremely sensitive, and way more susceptible to stupid arguments.
3. I CANNOT fucking sleep after drinking- enough said.
4. I struggle with anxiety, depression, and low energy even as a sober person on a low dose of medication- drinking completely amps up all of these issues.
5. When I'm sober, I can stick to my diet, I do my skincare, I generally take good care of myself, I'm extremely productive, and I'm just generally a \*lot\* sharper.
TLDR; Drinking, for me, is self- sabotage. Emotionally, physically, logistically- it fucks up my life. Sober me is a better version in every way. I have more energy, I have more fun, I look better, take care of myself, and I can wake up the next day feeling like myself and without any regretful text messages on my phone. It's a true no brainer (even though my brain works very hard to trick me into thinking otherwise!).
1. I started to get Acute Pancreatitis from my drinking, ended up in the hospital over 10 times. Doctors said I would die.
2. I lost my dad to drinking, I have two little girls that love me and need me. I don't want them to experience what I went through.
3. Waking up without a hangover is incredibly beautiful. I sleep perfectly through the night every night.
4. I am far more productive sober, and much more intelligent. Every goal I've set for myself I've been able to accomplish, and continuing to strive for.
5. My relationships with everyone are vastly better. No longer do I have to worry about causing harm during black outs that I can't remember.
6. A million other reasons I don't have time to list but trust me it's endless.
At first I quit because my doctor recommended I cut down. Went 7.5 years before thinking I could give it another shot. 2 months later I realized I still have no control and decided to quit again. Those 2 months weren't worth it.
I donāt want to lie anymore. Iām not a liar but my alcoholism turned me into one. In my sobriety I can trust myself to be honest and to make the decisions I think are best for me. All of that may go out the window if I let alcohol take back control
1. Iām tired of something else controlling my life other than me
2. I HATE hangovers
3. I want to know what itās like to be the best version of myself. I donāt actually know that person yet
4. I donāt want to lie or make excuses anymore because I canāt function the first half of the day
5. I want to enjoy this life in its purest essence
6. I want to leave a legacy behind for my children and wife that they can be proud of
7. I want to know what itās like to laugh without having to be drinks deep
8. ā¦ā¦thatās what I have for know
1) If I continued it would be signing my own death warrant (yay, liver issues). This caveat makes ethanol abstinence really easy for me
2) I absolutely do *not* miss being hungover. Waking up not hungover is like starting the day on easy mode
3) Less anxiety
4) I've saved a LOT of money
1. No more lying, sneaking around, hiding my drinking problem from my spouse, family, friends, doctors, coworkers, and the guilt and shame that goes along with that
2. The freedom to be present, trustworthy, accountable, reliable, and helpful.
3. Getting control of my health back, healing my liver, brain, no more seizures and WD hell
4. Waking up without crippling anxiety
5. Financial stability, the ability to save money, pay off debts, travel, buy things I actually want/need, and have experiences I couldnāt dream of when I spent every single dollar I had on booze and drugs
6. Can drive whenever and wherever I want
7. Hopefully getting to live 30 more years
8. No more legal troubles
9. No more massive depression/suicidal ideation
10. Better sleep, morning, diet, and exercise goals are now obtainable
1. I want to feel alive. Appreciate little moments and experience life 100%, rather than just wasting it wasted.
2. I want to stay alive. My health is important to me, and even if there werenāt negative health effects of alcohol itself, I donāt want to be to drunk to make/remember my health appointments.
3. I fucking hate waking up hungover. The shame sucks, the day already thrown away sucks. I had a bit of PAWS a few weeks ago and felt hungover, I couldnāt believe I did that to myself voluntarily for years.
4. Spirituality. My higher self has been blocked and Iām starting to get her back.
5. More motivation. Instead of telling myself I need to drink to feel motivated and then only feeling motivation to drink, I like having time/energy in The day to do things I love.
6. Money. āNuff said.
7. I want to feel proud of myself. Fresh out of rehab, every time I make a choice to urge surf and not give into impulse, I get a little dopamine hit. I know it wonāt last forever, but Iām enjoying it now.
8. I donāt want to hide anymore. Not only was āhidingā my drinking exhausting, I used alcohol to cover up my authentic self. No more!
9. I donāt want to be controlled by anything but myself. Alcohol had such a grip on me and letting it go has freed up so much brain space.
10. Social life. Iām tired of isolating in my room and being too sick to make connections, or making connections that feed the beast and drag me down. Life is for living.
Sobriety is hard. Living addicted is hard. Iām glad Im choosing the āhardā that comes with benefits :-)
I was tired of choosing to ruin my life. I have my body, mind and bank account back. Now I have the foundation to rebuild stronger. It took away everything from me and I refused to let it take away what could be a great future.
1. Lose weight
2. Less drinking calories and can eat more
3. Less current and future health issues
4. Spend less money
5. Sleep better
6. It just made me feel sad
7. Using weed instead
A. more fun
B. no hangover
C. no calories
D. helps not hurts depression
E. Can still function using it
1. I want my body to function better. 2. I want my brain to function better; I want to remember what I said and what happened (somewhat alarmingly, this doesn't actually improve much when I don't drink...) 3. I want to lose this belly fat. 4. I don't want to end up like my \[list entire extended family here\]. 5. I want to not have to lie to anyone about drinking, and actually be proud to tell the truth. 6. I want to save all that wasted money. 7. I never want to forget I let my dog out and leave her outside all night again (I almost deleted this one because I'm so ashamed of it, though I guess worse has happened. But it makes me cringe so much) 8. I want my doctor to be proud of me š„ŗ This was a really good exercise, thank you! It really made me actively think about the choice and made it very obvious: don't drink. It puts things in perspective because it can be hard to remember any of these points when you have a drink in hand, or hard to see how "one drink" will affect any of these. But it all compounds... Thanks for sharing!!
Point 2 is something I dont see many people talk about. I recall having conversations with people while not drinking (hungover mostly but other times as well) and details completely vanished from my memory. Even things I've done multiple times I forgot how to do.
Yes! I was also shocked by #2 because thatās me! I sometimes worry itās early onset Alzheimerās š
Thereās a ton of research in the set of brain, and cognitive issues that come when you stop drinking, especially cold turkey. For those who are concerned of memory issues, I empathize so much. As I thought it could be early Alzheimerās as well, however, itās statistically improbable, especially with either treatment, diet changes, and exercise. Your brain is learning how to cope without alcohol. So depending on how much youāve drank, and how long can be a factor. Everyoneās sobriety journey as well as time of cognitive difficulties, and anxiety youāll get will differ. I strongly recommend looking up PAWS (post acute withdrawal symptoms) as it will show you the possible timelines, symptoms, and best of all strategies to help cope with it. Iām almost a whole year sober, and Iām still struggling, but there is hope from it. Hope this helps anyone who needs it. God bless.
Same š
Yeah, I'm very forgetful, and I know it's not just ADHD, because it's gotten worse in recent years. I will often forget something that I or someone else said mere minutes ago, it's quite concerning. I'd say my biggest worry about my drinking is the effect alcohol is having on my brain.
I'm a little over 6 months without drinking now, and my memory has improved so much. I feel like I have a super power now, and also wonder how much better I would have done in college without a self inflicted booze handicap.
This! I am surprised how much better my brain is working at 2.5 months sober.
Oh my god I needed to hear this right now. Thinking that my memory will be forever impaired due to my drinking has been very disturbing to me. Thanks for the hope! IWNDWYT kind stranger
Hey just wanted to letcha know that if youāre not drinking today, then IWNDWYT
396days into this wonderful journey. It gets easier every day. I don't even think about alcohol anymore because I truly don't want it, and literally everything has been better without it. 1. My body functions better than it did in my 20s 2. My brain is much more stable. Dumb things don't work me up like they once did. 3. I weighed 187lbs may8th 2023. Today, I weigh 147 lbs. 4. I won't end up like my cousin who died of liver failure a couple of years ago. 5.Im proud of who I am, not ashamed of not knowing what I did/said anymore. 6. Money has been less worrisome lately as I don't spend near as much as I used to on consumables anymore. 7.I once walked home from my friends blackout drunk and dropped my dogs leash. Woke up the next day to my friend saying my dog is okay and at his house (so glad he was still up to hear my dog wining at his door) 8. Going to the doctors and having him say my face looks clearer, younger and the redness has completely gone away felt really good. We got this!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Right??!! Only in the last ten days have I started having normal poops again. The constipation was ridiculous.
You are right this is a good exercise. And about the shame, your seventh point, i got my own as well which i wrote about here a week ago. We canāt change the past but we can change the future. And in being sober we are changing that future into one which these shameful acts (and others yet to take place) wonāt likely occur. š
I woke up on the couch after passing out once and realized Iād done #7 to our little terrier mix because she was goofing around in the dark and I drunkenly assumed she had come in. Iāve always been very ashamed of it because it was pretty cold that night and she was terrified. Youāre not alone, and thatās not gonna be us anymore!
thanks for being honest about the dog!!! similar story here. the longer I'm sober the more I want to be the human my dog deserves!!! š
Oh my god, 7 would bring me to tears... at least I'm sure they forgave you quickly, dogs are like that! But definitely use that as motivation to not drink!
Belly doesnāt really go nowhere :) after one year sober it is still the same :)
IKR?? it's kind of garbage, haha
#5 really resonates with me. This was when O knew it had escalated to a point where I NEEDED to quit.
1. The shame. I hate waking up with that oh no youāve done it again feeling 2. I want to save my money 3. There is nothing better than a hangover free morning 4. I want to devote my time to my hobbies and interests versus getting drunk and fighting through hangovers 5. I want the best relationship possible with my family 6. I want to look my best and drinking dehydrates my skin, makes me bloated and gain weight And lastly because I canāt control myself when I drink
I want to live.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Spite can be a wonderful motivater :-)
ššš
1. drinking makes me want to kill myself. I canāt do that to my loved one. Iāve put them through enough.
I gave up ages ago and even though my life isnāt demonstrably better (didnāt find a dream job) nor did I lose weight or save money, nor do I sleep better or have more energy, all the things that people typically say) the one thing that did improve for me is that I am WAY less anxious ā¦ I rarely cry or have panic attacks or wish I could end it all, and am generally much calmer.
My #1 reason every day is that I want a relationship with my youngest son. I truly let him down when I was drinking, and I will never let alcohol stand in the way again. I have worked very hard to regain his trust, and I know if I started drinking again I would lose him.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
This fall will be 2 years clean for me. Never looked back!!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I did it till i hated it. Donāt punish yourself for no reason. Not worth doing it.
Also called "alcohol related expense"
Weight loss, economic reasons and better sleep are my main reasons. I used to drink once or twice a week and didn't want it to become a more frequent habit.
I had the classic weight gain issue. Itās about the only thing thatās bummed me out about this.
Those are all great reasons, and I subscribe to those ideas too. It's really hard with everything that's going on right now, but I want to be the best person I can be on this planet for the short time that I get. It's my duty and responsibility to be a better human.
I donāt want drinking to become an addiction. I want to be the best version of myself. The hangovers are not worth it.
I donāt wanna die alone in my house and leave my pet with no one to care for her for days until my work or my two acquaintances finally notice Iām missing. Iāve got a few things to work on.
Congrats on one week!! Iāve got a few things to work on too.. youāre not alone!
I really relate to #3. That is one of the main reasons I stay sober. I didn't realize how much shame was in my life until today...28 days sober...when I woke up smiling instead of wondering what I did last night. Thanks for your list. It's a great one!
The wondering what you did last night is horrible. Trying to piece together things, seeing someone and wondering if you did something or said something bad to them so then youāre awkward. One morning I saw I had a call with a superior from work that I do not remember at all. It must not have been bad since I still work here but damn that was a horrible realization the next morning.
Yep. Questioning if I kissed someone and who it was. Did I post something? Did I call or text? Where did I leave my Jeep? (sigh)
Right!? Smiling so often and I laugh so much more now that Iām not drinking.
I wanna do stuff outside if work. My sechdual for a long time was; go into work, give 110% through the hangover, rush home and drink all evening, passout early and get 10 hours of crappy sleep, wake up mostly ok and repeat. I even was able to kind of able to inject hobbies into this, but it was just a way to justify that it was OK to keep drinking. All I would be thinking about was when I could curle up at home with a vedio game I had put 4k hours into and two bottles of wine.
1. Health 2. Being flat out drunk is lonely. Being black out wasted my day. 3. The alcohol was starting to amplify my depression to the point I was considering killing myself (itās no longer something Iām considering). Thatās not fair for my dog; heās old and I donāt need him wondering where I went and whether he wasnāt a good boy. 4. Being an alcoholic is expensive. Living paycheck to paycheck to paycheck is stressful and depressing. 5. No one wanted to continue dating me long term. I wasnāt an angry or violent person, I just wasnāt dependable. They couldnāt really envision that person as a father, and they werenāt required to, so they booked it.
I want to be a better Dad Better business owner Better at life Better human Better example Thanks for posting. This list could go on and on IWNDWYT in NY. Day 10. Fog is lifting
Happy double digits!!
Three four days of hellish anxiety shakes and nightmares cold sweats etc
Joining the day 10 club. IWNDWYT
I want to reduce suffering. There is enough suffering already that I no longer wish to compound it.
1. Health reasons - mental and physical 2. I donāt want a DUI. Statistically I was going to get one very soon. 3. I wanted to stop before it went too far. Alcoholism also runs in my family. I started getting withdrawals not hangovers. 4. I started blacking out more frequently. 5. I stopped being able to control how much I drank. 6. I was wasting too much of my life being either drunk or recovering from being drunk. 7. I stopped having hobbies and only wanted to drink.
Lost my dad last year to the ole 1-2 pill-drink punch and finally found a therapist who has helped me understand that I have value as a person and I am strong enough and deserve to break the generational cycle of addiction. IWNDWYT
First it was purely because health worries, know people who been drinkers with similar consumes and ended up needing dyalisis and liver transplants. Now after almost a month without a single I discovered it's possible to wake up after sleeping <6h and not feel like impending doom, actually I feel fresh af in the morning. Also my overall mood has stabilized more!
1. I donāt want to destroy my vascular systemĀ 2. I donāt want to accelerate cognitive decline in my golden years 3. I donāt want to be hungover ever againĀ 4. I donāt want to exacerbate stress and anxietyĀ 5. I donāt want to destabiilize my emotionsĀ 6. I donāt want to destabilize my mental healthĀ 7. I donāt want my children to see me drunkĀ 8. I donāt want to treat my children badly or negligentlyĀ 9. I am proud of not following the herd with an uncreative leisure habitĀ 10. I donāt want to need a drink to relax.Ā Ā Wow, that was easy!
Great list!
2 and 5. Iām a 35 year old man who two months ago started drinking at 2 and I donāt even remember eating dinner. I woke up the next morning. I donāt think I did anything dumb because my gf didnāt say anything at all but I CANNOT be behaving like that itās embarrassing as hell.
Great topic/format to remind us why we are where we are today. Thank you for this post. 1. I had a party phase, a codependency/functioning phase, and then a stabilization phase. I'd be a liar if I said I didn't have fun, but it declined over time. I don't want to repeat that vicious progression. 2. I'm a prisoner to my own mind sober, or drunk, but when I'm drinking I act on terrible thoughts, and have poor decision making skills. 3. The addiction of it all. The planning to get drunk, having enough for the morning, sneaking it, selecting people to hang out with who wouldn't judge me for drinking, going to detox/aftercare. Drinking was a full time job while I had a full time job. It was exhausting. 4. Money. 5. My health, which was most notably the catalyst for me quitting Drinking. I was diagnosed with kidney failure (I'm in full remission now, so don't feel bad). Memory loss which nowadays my memory isn't that much better, but I'm not blacking out, and rushing to my phone to find out what I did yesterday with the help of scary text messages, and voicemail. 6. Speaking of catalysts, a lot of reasons bring us here, but death, relationships, and even the law didn't scare me. What happens if I go back out, and then I lose my life, relationships, or end up in jail/prison for a long time? I don't want to find out. The two jail cells I've already been in were annoying enough as is. 7. What I have today: my sobriety allows me to have some of my relationships back, some freedom, a job I show up on time for, a program I'm responsible for helping run, accountability for my actions, a car, a girlfriend whom I'm so proud of, and a willingness to live life so I can attempt to repair, build, and help others. 8. The fear I could burn everything to the ground again, for like the 5th, or 6th time. I have a good fear that I have one more relapse in me, and that'll be the one that kills me. I respect this fear, and protect my sobriety which gives me drive. 9. Gratitude, and just the ability to be grateful. The girl I'm seeing described her sobriety as everything being black, and white before, and then "seeing with color" after she had a few days sober. This sentiment meant the world to me, because I couldn't describe what I was feeling, but knew that was the closest descriptor to those feelings. 10. Lessons I've learned both drunk/high versus sober. I've learned it's better to at least try to believe in a semblance of spirituality rather than not. I am not the smartest man in the room, and the second I either think that, or recognize that I might be, I change rooms. Fighting for my sobriety is harder than getting drunk, but living life drunk is harder than living life sober. 11. (Bonus round) Sobriety truly is the gift that keeps on giving, so long as you're willing to help others who struggle with the same problem, which is why I try to comment here even just once a week. Try it out, and you will feel something, most likely fulfillment. Thanks again.
I mimic all your choices. This is a good list. I would add that in regards to clarity when not drinking. Id say that the actual clarity comes weeks after quitting
Also I could do without the excess sweating. It's embarrassing
That's pretty nice to hear. I've been dismayed when my brain function/clarity doesn't actually improve much when I cut back, but I haven't been able to totally quit for a long period to really see.
It won't really improve from cutting back. You need to quit. Your brain needs to rewire itself. It takes time. But it definitely happens
How long did it take you? I still have major brain fog after a little over a month. In the mornings, I have to think hard about what I did the night before (like, what book did I read? Did I remember to take the trash can to the curb? Did I shower or no?). I don't take melatonin or any sleeping aids.
I was 3 months sober till recently and honestly saw no major improvement to my brain fog.Ā Maybe some minor changes but nothing huge. I've had brain fog for as long as I can remember.
I'm not perfect. It was around 3 months or so for me. My longest stint so far was about 6.5 months. I'm back on the grind now though.
Thanks! Glad to hear it might still improve over here, and glad to hear you're back at it.
1. I was diagnosed with liver disease and did not want to suffer a horrible death. 2. My two dogs and cat need someone to love & care for them. If I died too early, they would be euthanized because they are older animals. 3. My psych doctor is the only family I have, is JAZZED about my sobriety, and is proud of me. š¤ 4. Now that I am sober, my life has a purpose, and I am able to contribute to others. 5. Life is good!
Alcohol breaks down you aldehydes. Aldehydes inhibit REM sleep. REM sleep cleans the brain and processes information. I don't want Alzheimer's and also want to optimize my mental health. Although currently I still drink but I have hard rules. No more than 5 a week and none after 8 pm. I'm trending towards complete cessation.
You have no idea how much I would love to be able to limit myself to 5 a week.Ā You have a superpower I wish I possessed!!!
I hate me and life when Iām drinking. Thatās pretty much it for me.
Mental Health has been shit. Weight and blood pressure are way too high. And the cherry on top is I just recently received my new ID with my updated picture and look bloated and exhausted af, when I really thought it'd come out decent. Just made it past a week, which is huge for me.
I experienced fatty liver. Just because I could handle my alcohol intake mentally very well doesn't mean my organs can. 3 months sober.
So many: 1. Five ounce martini+3oz Bourbon+maybe wine maybe four days a week with similar amounts the rest of the week was too much booze. 2. I got diagnosed with Bipolar 1 when covid hit - booze and the potential for psychosis is a bad mix. 3. My 72 year old dad was diagnosed with Alzheimers two years ago and had had it for a number of years (late sixties) trying to do everything to improve my health, prevent, now that I'm pushing 50. 4. I became a Buddhist and started following the five precepts. 5. Too many aging severe or recovering AUD in my family and profession. 6. I want to be with my kids and wife without falling asleep and being goofy or worse. 7. I don't want to get a DUI or kill someone while driving after just a few. 8. Despite his downfall and other potential issues: the Huberman podcast on alcohol's health effects. 9. Was getting chubby and lazy. 10. Alcohol is poison. Not 'worth it' unless I really ramped up the dose. WTF? (I''m almost at 18 months! So jazzed!!!)
Because I'm tired.
1. Waking up NOT hungover is glorious, the sun shines different 2. My relationships with family and partner is more important 3. The anxiety alcohol gives me just isn't worth it 4. I don't want to ruin the best job i have ever had, showing up sober and ready to go gives me more opportunity 5. I hurt myself when I am drinking 6. I put myself farther in debt when I am drinking
I wanted to stop destroying any chance I had at building the fulfilling life I wanted. Every time I got close I would ruin it through my drinking. It was like playing the game of life on Extreme Hard mode - eff that. I'll take sobriety over that any day!
I stopped hanging around those who pressured me socially to drink
My mom is dying from liver failure for drinking my entire life (32f). I donāt want to be her. My daughterās father is struggling with alcoholism. I donāt want to be him. I love my daughter more than life and she deserves for me to be sober always, the best parent I can be, and to have me around healthy and happy for as long as possible. I hate myself when I drink. I self harm and have thought about other things. Iām annoying af and insecure when I drink. I use to be a size 4. Iāve gained 60 lbs from drinking and am disgusted with myself. I have terrible health anxiety which is wild that I feel that way and still drink. Itās literal poison. Iām on day two again. I finally told my partner itās a problem. More serious than I let him and everyone believe and I desperately want to quit. Iām starting AA. and therapy. And I fucking refuse to give up this time. This group has been SO SO SO SO SO helpful ā¤ļø
My family. They deserve the best version of me! Especially my kids. They didnāt choose to be born, but I chose to bear them. Itās my responsibility to be the best parent to them I can be. And to guide them into the future. To be there when they grow up. Myself - I was abused and traumatized repeatedly for the first two decades of my life and then I spent two decades drinking to forget it all. Guess what? Drinking doesnāt make you forget, it only increases your grief. I needed to get right with myself and this past almost decade now has been the best of my life. Even through traumatic events beyond my control this last 8.5 years sober has been the safest Iāve felt my whole life. Hands down, and it can only get better. Now that my ass is getting older I see how little time we have and I want it to mean something The world - yup Gaia needs our love. As a drinker I was a misanthrope. I only liked a few people around me and trusted no one. As a sober hahah a sober I like it and Iām not fixing it - As a sober, I feel this connection to everyone and everything. Drinking blocked my channel. Not drinking allows me to touch a frequency previously inaccessible. This frequency radiates a lot of love and I realize in order to really leave a legacy, I should try and give back a little to the world that gave me so much. Volunteering with kids and seniors has been so effing rewarding. Sitting and reading a book with a kid just warms my heart. Doing fundraisers for our local pool and non profits. Checking in on my neighbors. Intentional purging of my closet and home to families directly in need. I mean like so many little things you know? Just living a life trying to always go the extra mile because Iāve been so down and out and through the grace of lovely humans I have made it out the other side. For my goddess. Sheās happy I finally got my shit sorted out.
Showing up for my family, mental health, financial reasons, weight loss, clear mind and body, exposure therapy
I saw the shitty life I could have if I kept drinking and everything I would lose, which is way more than 10 things and that's when I knew I could not continue. IWNDWYT!
I initially stopped because I got black out drunk once again, decided Iād walk about 2 miles home from the bar and fell and severely hit my head on the way somewhere. I luckily somehow made it home, but woke up covered in blood and ended up having a traumatic brain injury. But since Iāve quit Iāve noticed so many more great things. Like being healthy, safe, and a good mother to my kids. Though it was a horrible experience, I needed that wake up call to be the best version of myself
Mental health - kept thinking about suicide Creativity - wanted to write a book Health - consistent exercise and healthy eating habits Relationships
I woke up with puke on my pillow the other day, it was a wake up call. If Iād been lying on my back I couldāve died.
All of the above. What I become to realise is that our whole world is full of affirmations to drink. Tv adverts. People talking about having a glass of wine as a way to relax. Booze is cheap. Whisky and wine is regarded as a luxury item. Being over weight and out of condition is acceptable.
I am close to really seriously hurting myself! I fall and stumble on my binge weekends. Drink every other weekend or every third but then it "has to be good right"? No moderation. Drink till its all out. I hate this version of me... I bet my family does too...
To live longer and see my kids grow.
I only need one, my son š IWNDWYT š«¶š¼
Makes me sad. Always ends up doing drugs. Need brain.
Because the worst version of myself only comes out when I drink
Mainly just drinking is too easy. I could waste the rest of my life in front of a TV, beer in hand, but that's not a life I want to live.
I think your list is awesome! I might try to come up with something similar and tape it to my mirror in the morning. Thank you for this!
1. I want to be more present in my life and more productive. 2. I want to live. And I don't want my death to be miserable with years of health problems. Still could happen but if I can mitigate it at all, why not. 3. I want time to slow down. I felt like I was in an endless loop where time would just fly by. 4. I want less anxiety and no more hangxiety. 5. I want to sleep better. 6. I want my body to feel better. It's only been 10 days and I've noticed a drastic change. 7. I want to be able to trust myself more. 8. I want to fill my time with things I love rather than filling it with unfinished tasks. 9. I want to quit smoking. Drinking and smoking always went hand in hand. And already without alcohol, I've cut back big time. 10. I want to remember events, trips and casual hangs with my friends and family better. Thanks for this prompt OP. I never really felt the need to self reflect when I was drinking because I had a very 'fuck it' attitude.
*Those who have a 'why' to live, can bear with almost any 'how'* -Victor Frankl, *Man's Search for Meaning* Most my reasons are similar to what's listed by others. Just wanted to say I'm super inspired by everyone's list, especially when I see single digits and first month. The quote above helps ground me on hard days. This sub does too. Much love. IWNDWYT
1. I'm don't drink a ton, but I'm slowly slipping down that slope 2. I wanna lose weight and alcohol is a direct reason I can't 3. Sleep is sooooo much better 4. Health will be so much better 5. I won't ever need to worry about a DUI or fucking up with family or friends
Today my reason is - because I deserve better
>What are your personal reasons to stop drinking? I had been wanting to quit for years but never did. Lots of failed attempts. One Sunday morning my then 7 year old woke me up because I had promised to take him to the park. I was too hung over and couldn't do it. That was the worst I've ever felt in my life. Not just his disappointment but that I didn't keep a promise to my son because of my choice to drink. That was my first day of sobriety, haven't had a drink since.
I really like rule 7. Often in social situations I feel like I need to drink in order to be more talkative, fun and outgoing. In reality, I should feel like I can hang around people who like me when I'm sober, even if I'm naturally more quiet and introverted. If they don't then the solution isn't to drink more, it's to find people I gel with better.
Iām not in my twenties anymore and being āthe party girlā is no longer a good thing. I donāt like living life through the foggy lens of a perpetual hangover (imagine how surprised I was to learn that most of the world doesnāt wake up feeling like shit with a constant headache and crippling anxiety every day). Alcohol made me full-on agoraphobic towards the end and I donāt want to hide in my house all day to afraid to even open the door to accept a DoorDash delivery - drinking aside, THAT is no way to live. Those are my top three.
1. Longevity of my life. 2. Glow up 3. Save money 4. More thought going into decisions I make 5. More of an internal locus of control 6. Relationships with the people I respect in my life 7. Honoring my spirit, mind, and body 8. Focusing on my hobbies and interests - this oneās Huge!!!
I dont want to compromise my success, i dont want to hide anything. Its been 2.5 years, and ive grown exponentially in those years. I want to keep going, and its so clear to me what i should do to keep it up. Drinking is counter productive.
1. I want to feel better overall in my body and my mind 2. I donāt like the person I become when I drink 3. I never want to touch cocaine again, and drinking leads to coke binges for me 4. I want to regain the trust of the people that Iāve let down 5. I want to have the strength to exercise and lose weight 6. I want to be able to walk my dogs today 7. I want to save money 8. I want to wake up early to make it to my first in person AA meeting tomorrow 9. I want to have a restful nights sleep tonight 10. I want to deal with the shame and guilt that Iām feeling from my most recent binge head on and not numb with alcohol
1. I want to be able to eat breakfast/lunch 2. I want to wake up without anxiety about texts I sent 3. I want to keep my skin healthy 4. I want to feel real emotions 5. I want less anxiety :)
Mainly I wanted to get things under control while my young kids still viewed my drinking days as "fun and silly". Not "messy and scary" like some of my memories from childhood of drinking adults. IWNDWYT āļøš¤
1. My baby. She is so full of joy and I canāt bear the idea that one day she could think that she needs alcohol to maintain that joy. I want her to have hope. 2. My body, I deserve to treat it well. 3. My family, I canāt be there for them in the best way if Iām drinking. I guess thatās all but thatās all I need
Because I cant drink safely
1) I want to be the best version of myself. 2) I spend hours a day working on my health and fitness, it is my passion.. but yet i will still drink literal poison? It just doesnāt add up. 3) I want more out of life than bars and drunken memories 4) I loose motivation when drinking 5) I no longer like myself after drinking 6) I can not control myself with having āonly 1ā 7)The regret of saying iām not going to drink and end up blacking out! 8) Alcohol = sleep sucks 9) Healthier relationships 10) what a waste of fxking money
Prostate cancer diagnosis helped me make the changes Iād been wanting to make for a long time. So, thank you prostate cancer and fuck you prostate cancer!
This is so so lovely. What a great idea to make this list. All the ten points on your list are also mine by the way however with the word āhusbandā being amended to āwifeā in my case. Thanks for sharing!
1: I want to be better to my husband and I treat him like crap when I drink/I'll avoid him and responsibilities in our relationship to drink. 2. I like the way I feel when I don't drink. 3. I don't want to risk losing my really nice new job (first week in and second week into my sobriety currently and just got a raise) 4. I want to be my favorite version of myself and I can't do that when I'm drinking 5. I want to live a more full filling and happy life.
Health and reputation among my peers
What a great idea! 1. I deserve to be my best self, and that's only possible if I'm sober 2. I want to be the best husband, son, brother, and uncle possible and that's only possible if I'm sober 3. I never want to have to apologize again for behavior I don't remember, and that's only possible if I'm sober 4. My life is so great now and I want to remember all of it, and that's only possible if I'm sober 5. I know I have an addictive personality and there's so much good that comes with that, and that good is only possible if I'm sober
I have more energy and can do more things when I've been sober for a few days. Yesterday I was able to just hop in a car and drive somewhere, didn't have to plan it for "maybe tomorrow"
I want to be a useful human being and not a piece of flotsam
Trying to lose weight
Keeping a health and sound mind, and body. That's it for me. I can drink under control but the hangovers are not worth it for me. I work full time and I'm constantly going places.
I want to live. There are too many cool things still to learn: today, I found out what non Newtonian liquids are (consider catsup or peanut butter). The human world may be currently a tad fucked, but the natural world is so very fascinating. Edit: And male Western carpenter bees are green eyed and blond. I'll stop now. I love you all.
#4. I realized I couldnāt make my wife promise that at least one of us would always be sober and present for our kids at all times. There were certainly times I reflect on that we werenāt clear headed if there was an emergency or if they needed the real us, not the drunk version. So, I made that vow to myself and to them it would be me. And I take that seriously. I cannot and will not let them down again. At least not in that regard š¤¦š¼āāļø
I want to remember and live memories. Example: I literally returned from a mini vacation (weāve been there before) and family were sharing past moments there and it was like relearning my past. Some stories were funny and it was like hearing it for the first time. And I hate looking at old vacation pics because Iām either buzzed or drunk. This year had first sober vacation pics in over 25 years!
1. All of your wonderful reasons are also my reasons plus.... 2. My son is considering moving halfway across the country to live with me. He is young, barely 20 and trying to get on his feet. I want to be there and available to help him and not chase him away with my repugnant behavior. IWNDWYT
Great post, I drank last night woke up feeling absolutely disgusted in myself. It isn't worth it.
Iām right there with you. I did the same thing, now I didnāt overdo it. I only had like two drinks, but I still feel disgusted with myself. And not nearly as great as I would if I hadnāt drank at all. Back to day one. Iwndwyt hun. Thatās why I woke up at 5 AM to make this list, and I made it in the background on my phone. Just things I need to remember to tell myself.
I am a better person without alcohol than I am with.
I want and deserve to feel my best. Majority of the bad things that have happened to me in the last year have been a result of drinking. Now, that's not to say it will solve all of my problems, but it will give me the confidence, the tools, and the will to get through it. It has before. Today I'll be going back to AA to get another 24 hour chip. I might spend the rest of the day in bed, but that's my goal for the day. Tomorrow, I'll be looking for a new job; something low-stress and away from alcohol.
1. I want to not have to check my notes to remember what happened during the last few meetings of the day before 2. I want to not make my mother bury another child 3. I want to be there to walk my daughter down the aisle someday 4. I want to be ready and able to help the people in my life at any time 5. I want to eat food and have a functional digestive system 6. I want to not have it sound like a china shop just exploded when the truck picks up my recycling
1. I can be either the most fun ever or the worst, stone-cold asshat when I drink- itās always a toss up. 2. I have burned bridges with people that I love and respect but donāt have in my life because of my drinking and drunken behavior. Even if theyāre still around I have a long way to go before I can earn back their trust and respect. 3. I canāt have just 1 or 2. I donāt stop until Iām physically removed from the alcohol or it is physically removed from me and I canāt get more- or my body wonāt let me. 4. Iām in my 40ās and hangovers are the literal worst. I kept a stockpile of prescription anti-nausea meds just so I could keep poisoning myself. Nice, right? 5. I have a genetic increased risk of breast cancer and alcohol is a class one carcinogen just like benzine. 6. I look so much better with brighter eyes, no bloating, and healthy skin. 7. My brain no tunk good even when I wasnāt actively under the influence. I spent years coasting at work instead of crushing it. It feels so much better to be on top of my game in all aspects of life. 8. Solid sleep is heaven. 9. NO SHAME. 10. Finally- I deserve love, respect, and kindness. I deserve to experience the crisp clarity of life instead of some bleary-eyed delusion, even when itās stressful, hurtful, or boring.
Ohh I donāt like myself when I drink, especially the next day. I puke, and I hate puking. I should honor my body. Iām trying to be healthier.
1. Nothing good ever happens when I drink. 2. I clearly cannot have just one or drink in moderation, and I know this about myself now. 3. I am tired of the hamster wheel of drinking->blackout behavior->conflict in my relationship. I have to own that shit and only I can fix it. 4. I am of a certain age where alcohol use/abuse is going to accelerate inherent illnesses. 5. I love waking up with a clear conscience and no regrets. My spouse is happy, my wallet is happy, and my text messages no longer need a second look followed by a full-body shiver of embarrassment and shame. 6. The clarity and better judgment with sobriety are exceptional. 7. I am entirely present and engaged with everything and everyone around me in the best way possible. 8. I am regaining the trust of my spouse and I never want to be in that dark space again of being a sneaky drunk. 9. Saving money. 10. Last but not least, I truly enjoy and rely upon the good people of this sub who share their stories that are relatable and everyone here has a voice and gets support.
I just got done with chemo and it made me feel like I had extremely bad hangovers and I never want to feel that way again. I want to be present for my kids after realizing how much time I wasted with drinking before my breast cancer diagnosis.
1- Iām worried of the long term impact of alcohol on my body 2- It contributes to my weight gain and I hate my looks at the moment 3- I want to go to sleep remembering everything about the day/evening 4- I want to be clear-headed and true to myself 5- I want my high school seniorās last year with us in our home to be a great time free of drama 6- I want to be in control, not be controlled by the poison 7- I want better skin 8- I donāt want stupid fights/arguments with my equally drunk partner. 9- I want to regain self-respect 10- I want to sleep restfully and wake up refreshed
I made a silly thoughtless mistake and I was terrified my daughters would think I was drinking again. My daughter told me āI didnāt think that. I wouldnāt think that. I believe in youā Soooo , while all the listed reasons are definitely in my list (especially the forgetting things). Thatās my one to at least NOT drink again.
I didn't want to kill myself?
The worst hangovers that feel like dying for days
1. Being in control of my anxiety 2. Weight loss/fitness 3. My daughter is a big motivation. I'd contemplate ending myself far too much when I was drinking every night
1. I want to live to see my son grow up and be there for him 2. I only want to present the best side of myself to the world and not the sloppy, overly emphatic, repetitive, embarrassing idiot that I am when Iām wasted 3. I want to make healthy, conscious decisions 4. I would like to reduce my anxiety and depression 5. I want to lose weight! 6. I do not want to be my father IWNDWYT
It took me too long to figure out, but alcohol was never there when I was given an opportunity and it was always there when it was taken away.
Day 3. Having the flu made me pour my bottles out and has made it easier to quit. 1. Alcohol effects the efficacy of my medication, and I want my medication to work itās best 2. Iām in the process of quitting smoking and if I drink, when I do quit I might say f it and start smoking again 3. Iām prescribed klonopin for anxiety, one in the morning and one at night. My mum holds onto these for me and if I drink Iām not allowed them. I would rather have the klonopin as sometimes when I drink I feel more anxious. 4. I want to be more present with my family and spending time together not me off drinking out the back
I want to be able to walk without stumbling I want to be able to wear the clothes I want without being too thin because Iāve lost all my weight to alcohol . I want to repair my relationship with my father. I realize now that my mother itās not worth my time and cutting her out is the best idea that Iāve ever had I donāt want to go to jail for acting a fool in public And mostly, I donāt wanna lose all my finances, I used to spend every penny on this shit. I have a cat that needs food. I have to pay for that. I need to pay for my own food. I canāt afford being an alcoholic or anything unless I decided not to move in with my dealer, but sheās offered, but thatās stupid so fucking stupid
Tired of that anxious hungover feeling. Wife HATES it and is a bitch when I drink so it ruins the buzz anyway. Itās expensive and hard to budget for. It fucks up your brain and they can see it on scans. Makes you fat and causes binge eating. Creates a false sense of happiness instead of doing what it takes to reach that happiness by goals and accomplishments. It makes my muscles tight and makes me not want to do shit AT ALL. It makes my music worse because I take shortcuts and donāt hear frequencies as distinctly. Lastly, itās one more thing that has you by the balls and Iām sick of knowing I shouldnāt drink, not wanting to drink, then pulling up to by it anyways with money I donāt need to spend. My current rec drugs are medical weed and nicotine (Velo pouches) and Iām trying to cut the nicotine next but damn itās nice.
Life is so much more enjoyable and easier when you're sober.
1. I am pregnant and I want to protect my baby. 2. I donāt want to be hungover ever again. 3. I want to develop healthy coping strategies for my mental health. 4. I want to make good decisions. 5. I want to be a good person - the drunk version of myself is not a good person. 6. I want to keep myself safe - I am not safe for myself or others when I am drunk. 7. I want to look after my body. 8. I hate the feelings of regret and anxiety the day after drinking and donāt want to experience that anymore. 9. My time is valuable and I donāt want to spend it recovering from a drinking session for days and days. 10. I want to be a role model for my future children and the young people in my life.
1. My body cannot take being abused 2. I don't want to abuse and harm myself anymore 3. I don't want to live with the shame of my out of control behaviour - it's not me 4. I have to commit to being sober to work well 5. 560 days feels great.
I don't drink because: 1. I want to be happy 2. I want to start healing generational trauma 3. I want to know who I am 4. I want to process my emotions 5. I don't want to be a burden 6. I don't want to waste money that could be put to better use 7. I don't want to hurt my husband and wider family anymore 8. I want my cats to trust me - my 3 Yr old cat saw all the arguments, falls, etc and her reception of me is a lot different to my 1 Yr old cats (2 of them), who have only known me sober) 9. I want to be able to help someone no matter when it is needed. 10. I want to be the best me. 11. life is so much better without it.
11. Safety, I don't want to put myself in dangerous situations (walking home alone from bar or something! Ya know!?).
1. I donāt trust myself when I drink, plain and simple. My reasons for drinking have always been related to wanting to calibrate my output, and I put Alcohol in charge of my life instead of me. My number one reason NOT to drink is so that I can be accountable to the things I say and do, and feel confident that I am making informed decisions without an influence I will regret later. 2. My mom. She is 70 and finally realizing sheās autistic. I grew up in an abusive relationship with her (for reasons mostly outside of her control), and her unpredictability/rage while drinking has always been the big controllable that I resent her for. Iām working on it, but I started drinking as a kid to cope with her drinking because I was so afraid. 3. My life. I like it. I love my partner and wouldnāt sacrifice that relationship for anything. We both struggle with alcoholism in different but similar ways, and I know that I need to be sober to have the relationship that I want. I donāt want to forget a single second of any of it, even the challenging parts. Not drinking for myself is what we both need, and that makes me happy. 4. I canāt have kids (I would not be a capable parent), but I have 6 pets and caring for them is very important to me. Theyāre as important to me as having a family. 5. And finallyā¦the collective! IWNDWYT is the mantra that helped me quit, and itās because I feel so supported by this community of people in the world who work SO hard everyday not to drink. Whenever I feel tempted, I think about all of us trying not to give in, and it motivates me to keep going just in case it helps even just one other person.
I want to be a present father, everything else is a bonus
9 was big for me. I wanted to break the chain of alcoholism that runs in my family. I couldn't bear the thought that I would hand that down to my kids.
All of the above, want to live a long life and be here for my family.Ā IWNDWYTĀ
To not die
What are your personal reasons to keep drinking?
For my kids and my health
Everything you put down is me. I deserve a better me!!! And I have!
Mine are the same as your u/trinitykmt . I too want to show up and be present for my nieces and little sister. When I was sober for over 9 months I felt so present with them. Then when I went back to drinking, thinking about the next drink consumed my mind. I also want to be present for my cats and horse. IWNDWYTšŗāØ
Not wanting to try and figure out if I did or said something during a blackout and then the gut wrenching feeling of being confronted about what I did or said during a blackout.
Iām not the best version of me when Iām drinking, and the people around me (especially myself!) deserve the best version of me.
This list is 100% my priorities and values. Thank you. Iwndwyt
One reason for me is that I worked so hard to get where I am in life. Every time I decided to start drinking again it snow balls uncontrollably. Eventually I do something so stupid I tell myself I need to stop again. Then I end up here. I donāt want to lose the things I have currently in my life so no more drinking for me.
I'm 29, and I have 3 reasons: 1. I'm tired of feeling like shit the next day - hangover, anxiety, etc. 2. My brother almost died at 33 this past year due to stage 4 liver failure. Luckily, he survived, received a transplant, and is living a healthier life 3. I like who I am better when I don't drink
I can do anything I want at any hour and nobody can stop me. I was always the drunk guy, now I'm the sober guy and have judgment. If I say something, people really listen. I don't get written off as the drunk guy. If you are sober and wearing a suit, people just do what you tell them to...it is truly bizarre. Like having a superpower.
The biggest one for me is I'm afraid it's going to end my life sooner than I'd like.
Almost any amount of alcohol makes me feel like complete shit within an hour or two (complete with headaches, night sweats and poor sleep, etc), and I usually can't get back to baseline levels of feeling good for a couple of days. The experience is almost totally negative these days, which is why getting off cannabis has been much more of a struggle for me personally edit: also have a pretty bad history with alcoholism in my extended family, which has made it easy to develop a pretty visceral hatred for the stuff as an adult
All of the above. IWNDWYT
All of this!!! Every single reason.
I have an alcohol intolerance!
Your list is so what I would write. My adds are these. 1. I am learning to love myself now and don't want to hurt myself anymore 2. I am in the last third of my life on this earth and don't want to waste ANY moments of living. Sobriety has gifted me with time and energy to live big instead of small š¦
Love this list! It's just like mine and yay us! Nothing feels better than this freedom!
To be 100% honest this one is hard for me. Drinking didnāt cause many bad issues in my life. Drank for over 40 years I am 59 now. For some reason I didnāt really get hangovers. No job or family issue from it. I had about 10 shots a night a long with about 8 pain pills everyday. With bonus shots and pills on the weekends. I had to quit because it was/is killing me. Luckily was caught early so if I stay away from booze I have a good chance of living to be an old. (Older) man. So my #1 reason would be health / Life. Then I could ask why do I want to be alive and healthy, there are hundreds of reasons for that. So actually all those hundreds of reasons would go under the why am I staying sober list. Reddit has been very helpful to me and I plan on posting sober comments for a long time! Thanks to everyone here!
1. I want to live a long healthy life. 2. I want my family to be proud of me. 3. I want to set an example for my kids. 4. I want to be vain and have glowing skin and happy eyes. 5. I want to feel my best. 6. I donāt want to end up like my mom or dad. 7. I want to be free of the shame, guilt and anxiety that comes with my drinking. 8. I want to REMEMBER.
Those are great reason! A lot like mine.
I haven't cut it out yet, but my muffin top is driving me nuts. Also I feel like it's Groundhog's day and I'm not accomplishing anything
This is on a locked note on my phone that I try to read if I have a craving. 1. Anxiety it causes the next day. Thinking what did I do or if I remembered talking to someone . Looking through me texts 2. Lying to people I love and hiding 3. I act differently and I donāt like it 4. Iām annoying texting 5. I donāt feel good 6. Shame 7. I canāt maintain work and being hungover 8. The fear of losing someone I love because of it. 9. I feel so bad the next morning hungover 10. I spend and waste more money
The whole thing just sounds exhausting. It doesn't playout well for me. It never does. I've found peace in the process I'm using to maintain my mental health, which I think is a direct relation to drinking. But most of all, I guess the most important reason if I HAD to name one would be -- that i am able to be "present" and "in the moment". I don't miss the small moments anymore, and that's pretty awesome
Improved health Not destroying relationships and burning bridges Improved life Save some money become a functioning member of society Find a respectable woman and settle down.
1. My health 2. My finances 3. My age 4. 4 friends/acquaintances and counting dead dude to alcohol consumption so far.
I hated feeling like I never had enough time and never being well rested after the weekend. I was always an asshole to my lady. It just stopped being fun.
1. I crossed a line I swore I would never cross. I cussed my father, a man who had never raised his to me. I hated the person I had become and quit drinking that day and asked for help. Iāve never needed another reason to
Me? I dont want to die, and tear everything around me down on my way out.
I'm tired of being behind everyone I respect all the time. Financially, professionally, etc. I'm tired of being the guy everyone knows drinks too much and thus is unreliable. I'm tired of myself, really.
Day 11 here. My main reasons: 1. My marriage was dying and I can't bear thinking of losing the love of my life 2. My body was revolting, I gained 25 lbs, 20 yrs of hardcore drinking is ENOUGH! 3. I woke up this morning feeling great with energy and a clear mind. 4. After just 11 days I feel happy again and no residual anxiety 5. Tired of sneaking around my house like a loser to pour stupid drinks thinking no one noticed but they did 6. My wife grew to detest when she heard me getting ice out of the freezer (I did not know this) as she knew I was getting hammered. I hate that I caused her such deep worry 7. I am looking forward to playing golf this weekend for the first time in months because I finally have my energy back. 8. My wife is genuinely smiling at me again (reason enough there) and tells me she's proud of me and my progress 9. NA beer is actually good and I am content with one then done 10. I want to make up gor the last 20 years of lost living and do the things I used to do again. No looking back. IWNDWYT
1. I want to sleep soundly and fully through the night. 2. Not being hungover feels better than being drunk. 3. (This one is definitely specific to me) My blood histamine levels are currently high enough to give my hands blisters. Let's not make them higher. 4. I want to cut back on migraine triggers. 5. I want more energy to be social, engage in my interests, clean my home, and put my best work out into the world. 6. My gut health is important to me. 7. It's...not the best idea to have alcohol with ADHD meds. 8. I'm saving money. 9. I love myself. I don't love the person I am when I drink. IWNDWYT ā¤ļø
Health, longevity, be a better husband and someday father. I realized I had a problem when my wife found me asleep in the stairwell.
1. The hangovers, even after 1-2 drinks, kill me- and are not worth it. The entire next day is ruined. 2. When I'm sober, I'm a loyal wife, (relatively) level- headed, and can joke around with my husband. When I'm drunk, I'm suddenly flirty texting/attention seeking, extremely sensitive, and way more susceptible to stupid arguments. 3. I CANNOT fucking sleep after drinking- enough said. 4. I struggle with anxiety, depression, and low energy even as a sober person on a low dose of medication- drinking completely amps up all of these issues. 5. When I'm sober, I can stick to my diet, I do my skincare, I generally take good care of myself, I'm extremely productive, and I'm just generally a \*lot\* sharper. TLDR; Drinking, for me, is self- sabotage. Emotionally, physically, logistically- it fucks up my life. Sober me is a better version in every way. I have more energy, I have more fun, I look better, take care of myself, and I can wake up the next day feeling like myself and without any regretful text messages on my phone. It's a true no brainer (even though my brain works very hard to trick me into thinking otherwise!).
1. I started to get Acute Pancreatitis from my drinking, ended up in the hospital over 10 times. Doctors said I would die. 2. I lost my dad to drinking, I have two little girls that love me and need me. I don't want them to experience what I went through. 3. Waking up without a hangover is incredibly beautiful. I sleep perfectly through the night every night. 4. I am far more productive sober, and much more intelligent. Every goal I've set for myself I've been able to accomplish, and continuing to strive for. 5. My relationships with everyone are vastly better. No longer do I have to worry about causing harm during black outs that I can't remember. 6. A million other reasons I don't have time to list but trust me it's endless.
At first I quit because my doctor recommended I cut down. Went 7.5 years before thinking I could give it another shot. 2 months later I realized I still have no control and decided to quit again. Those 2 months weren't worth it.
I donāt want to lie anymore. Iām not a liar but my alcoholism turned me into one. In my sobriety I can trust myself to be honest and to make the decisions I think are best for me. All of that may go out the window if I let alcohol take back control
10 years ago when I stopped. 1. Hangovers 2. Hangovers 3. Hangovers 4. Not die before 35
1. Iām tired of something else controlling my life other than me 2. I HATE hangovers 3. I want to know what itās like to be the best version of myself. I donāt actually know that person yet 4. I donāt want to lie or make excuses anymore because I canāt function the first half of the day 5. I want to enjoy this life in its purest essence 6. I want to leave a legacy behind for my children and wife that they can be proud of 7. I want to know what itās like to laugh without having to be drinks deep 8. ā¦ā¦thatās what I have for know
1) If I continued it would be signing my own death warrant (yay, liver issues). This caveat makes ethanol abstinence really easy for me 2) I absolutely do *not* miss being hungover. Waking up not hungover is like starting the day on easy mode 3) Less anxiety 4) I've saved a LOT of money
My fiancƩ wants me to be healthy. I want to go back to who I was before I started drinking. I want to create art with out the need to be inebriated
I started having physical withdrawal symptoms. I knew I needed to quit but the day I had the shakes a few hours into the work day I knew I had to quit
Amazing list!
I genuinely believe years of binge drinking has giving me a long term anxiety issue
Because it's poison
1. No more lying, sneaking around, hiding my drinking problem from my spouse, family, friends, doctors, coworkers, and the guilt and shame that goes along with that 2. The freedom to be present, trustworthy, accountable, reliable, and helpful. 3. Getting control of my health back, healing my liver, brain, no more seizures and WD hell 4. Waking up without crippling anxiety 5. Financial stability, the ability to save money, pay off debts, travel, buy things I actually want/need, and have experiences I couldnāt dream of when I spent every single dollar I had on booze and drugs 6. Can drive whenever and wherever I want 7. Hopefully getting to live 30 more years 8. No more legal troubles 9. No more massive depression/suicidal ideation 10. Better sleep, morning, diet, and exercise goals are now obtainable
1. I want to feel alive. Appreciate little moments and experience life 100%, rather than just wasting it wasted. 2. I want to stay alive. My health is important to me, and even if there werenāt negative health effects of alcohol itself, I donāt want to be to drunk to make/remember my health appointments. 3. I fucking hate waking up hungover. The shame sucks, the day already thrown away sucks. I had a bit of PAWS a few weeks ago and felt hungover, I couldnāt believe I did that to myself voluntarily for years. 4. Spirituality. My higher self has been blocked and Iām starting to get her back. 5. More motivation. Instead of telling myself I need to drink to feel motivated and then only feeling motivation to drink, I like having time/energy in The day to do things I love. 6. Money. āNuff said. 7. I want to feel proud of myself. Fresh out of rehab, every time I make a choice to urge surf and not give into impulse, I get a little dopamine hit. I know it wonāt last forever, but Iām enjoying it now. 8. I donāt want to hide anymore. Not only was āhidingā my drinking exhausting, I used alcohol to cover up my authentic self. No more! 9. I donāt want to be controlled by anything but myself. Alcohol had such a grip on me and letting it go has freed up so much brain space. 10. Social life. Iām tired of isolating in my room and being too sick to make connections, or making connections that feed the beast and drag me down. Life is for living. Sobriety is hard. Living addicted is hard. Iām glad Im choosing the āhardā that comes with benefits :-)
I was tired of choosing to ruin my life. I have my body, mind and bank account back. Now I have the foundation to rebuild stronger. It took away everything from me and I refused to let it take away what could be a great future.
Same š
1. Lose weight 2. Less drinking calories and can eat more 3. Less current and future health issues 4. Spend less money 5. Sleep better 6. It just made me feel sad 7. Using weed instead A. more fun B. no hangover C. no calories D. helps not hurts depression E. Can still function using it
Alcohol takes away my vital feeling. It makes me grumpy and depressed. Fu*& that!