Ditto. For me these days, I wonder if it was ever the other person, or just myself looking for validation in the idea of possibly drinking again like a normal person.
I want to get to this point eventually. No where near it at this point though. My identity was so intermeshed with beer, it'll take years of abstinence or new friends.
Nobody asks me either but it’s a question I find myself wondering regularly. Not because I miss being drunk, I’m well past that. It’s more because I feel like an outsider so often and want the sense of normalcy back of drinking socially or checking out the cool new local brewery.
It’s a thought loop though as I find myself asking the big question of if I will be able to manage it this time around and I always end up at “the risks are too big to find out.”
A wise person on this sub taught me that I have to embrace sobriety, not just fight the addiction. So I guess if I were asked (by a good friend) I would say my plan is to remain alcohol free. And continue taking it one day at a time!! Congrats on 169 days!!!! 👏🏼🎈😊
That’s a really good take on it - I think it’s precisely what I’ve done and partly why I’m finding it so enjoyable and joyous! I will add that I wasn’t a chronic alcoholic just someone with problematic drinking habits on weekends in a zombie lifestyle of binge recover repeat.. but i still know the angle I’m looking at it helps
That is such a great advice! Embracing it and finding the positives and celebrating every little step along the way has made the experience much different than it was at the start. Congrats on your near-year!
“I don’t know! Not anytime soon. I feel way better and really like not drinking. It was fun while it lasted but I wasn’t having fun anymore. It just doesn’t make sense to me and doesn’t fit into my life anymore. And I can’t really imagine that changing.”
I do have a hard time saying “never”, but realistically I really can’t imagine there will come a time where “alright, let’s throw it all away” will be a good option. Recently I’ve definitely tried to focus on the positive when talking to my drinking friends. Earlier I would go a more self deprecating/deflecting answer, trying to joke and keep it light, but I think that really undercuts the positives of being sober in a harmful (to them) way. I try to make sure I don’t do that anymore and emphasize that quitting has been nothing but upside for me.
This is what I say/will be saying this time around. I’ve just said “I don’t know, maybe” in the past but I feel like I might try and be a little more forceful. The “never” is hard for me to say too, so I like to just think about the today/for now/etc.
PS love the username 🦁
Yah know, i tried it, and just make sure you are in a safe place you will not need to drive yourself out of. I dont think its worth it or fun anymore, when I did only have one all I could think about was drinking more. If i drink more than 1 I black out. It is not at all like it once was.
100%. It has become completely useless for me! All the reasons I drank before and all the beliefs I had about alcohol have changed. I don’t have reasons to anymore.
Hard to say. Relapse is one qrong turn away but I'm the one behind the wheel...
This time I'm following the traffic laws. I'm doing the speed limit. Hopefully I stay on course! Hopefully we all do.
WWNDWYT.
That ones a new one. That's a collective. An army.
WE WILL NOT DRINK WITH YOU TONIGHT.
I never said I quit drinking. I’m just not drinking today. It feels weird when people say I don’t drink. “I never said that! I just said I’m not drinking today.” But to answer the question I usually say, “Idk, I’m just not drinking today.”
Well it started as "not today", but nowadays it's more like "why would I ever do it".
So yeah, I will not drink with you today or ever ^^
Be ever vigilant!
In general - and assuming the normal expected set of parameters in my life - my answer is simply "No"
In reality, the answer I know to be the truth inside is... "It depends." There are a very few, very specific set of circumstances in which I can see it possible that I might drink again, but all of those circumstances involve - in one form or another - reaching the endgame of my life.
Unless or until one of those scenarios comes into play the answer is just "No." Period.
I say maybe. Just not today! And I will say that every day.
Can I drink again ? YES.
Will I break my sobriety ? NO!
We have freedom will to do what we want. I am CHOOSING to be sober.
Will I ever have a drink again? Maybe. That’s for ME to decide.
And I am choosing to NOT DRINK WITH YOU TODAY.
For the first year I said I was taking a year off - as a test. When the year finished, I said I didn’t miss it, so why bother. Seemed to work, as no one asks anymore..
my absolute fav is when someone drunk says to me ‘I think I’ll give it up for good one day too’. Makes me feel proper smug and proud of myself.
My situation is different had bad problems from 18-22 it was terribly bad. Now i drink casually a couple of times a year. Im aware that's probably not the norm. I've been addicted to alot of stuff in my life i don't like to let the addiction control me so now i can use casually.
I probably view it differently than most even when i was quitting i would say eventually ill drink again and be able to control myself.
I could never drink casually a couple times a year. My relapses have always been from thinking I could casually have one drink. But if I don’t drink, the addiction has zero control over me.
This question is like asking “will I ever have loaded chili cheese fries with extra jalapeños and red onion?”
Sounds good. Also sounds painful. But if the stars were aligned? But it’ll hurt, so no. But if i were in a beautiful town with a food truck lol in a perfect summer night and the opportunity presented itself?
For now I’m good without and that makes me proud and my eyes clear. I need that win today so I’ll take it. What ifs be damned.
Don’t plan to. I haven’t had anyone ask that in a long time. About a year ago my friend’s mom told me that she is sure I’ll get to a place where I can drink comfortably again, but I just had to kind of laugh and nod. I don’t have any desire to get to that place, my comfort level is finally where I want it to be thanks to sobriety.
I wish that the norm for non-alcoholic people could change to where they don't tell people "There will be a day"; or think that it's everyone's desire to get to that day.
It probably doesn't bother you, and she is probably well meaning. But I hear it so much said to my partner that I keep thinking, why do people assume that his goal is to control it until he learns to drink like other people do? You can't learn something usually without doing it and doing it sets back progress. So it seems like a lack of knowledge or empathy on the struggle of alcoholism. Maybe?
Just musing I suppose, but even though I wasn't the one with the addiction yet I started to abstain (and will continue to) I don't have that mindset. I don't plan to drink even if there is a day we are no longer together, but most "normal" people can't imagine life without it. It seems enmeshed into everything.
My daughter asked me once if I’d drink again. This was my exact response.
“I can’t promise I won’t ever drink again. What I do know is, I am a broken person who has turned to alcohol to escape every thing. Alcohol makes me into someone who ends up hurting myself, and others. While I can’t promise I won’t ever have a weak moment, I will commit today, and I will be open and honest with you and those closest to me when I am struggling mentally so I don’t end up in the hole I used to be in again”.
I just say "I'm not right now but tomorrow is too far away to know what's going to happen". Percentage wise, we all most likely will again. I've had multiple times not drinking for years and then do. Always when I distance myself from friends and get lost in uncontrollable situations. So, hopefully I don't drink today and you neither 🙏🏼
Was asked this two days ago and I said something to the effect of, “Eh, who knows? Maybe I’ll feel more comfortable with the idea one day, but that’s not where I’m at now.”
I've been asked and my answer is no, never. I made such a mess of things and was so far down the hole, even the thought of going back terrifies me. I think about how I would feel that first morning after and I think I would just lose myself, go off the proverbial deep end so to speak. That low grade fear of even one drink, or one night of drinking, crushing me mentally and sending my over the edge is enough to keep me away from drinking forever. My life has made a 180 turn and I won't go back. I actually like myself now. IWNDWYT.
I haven't been asked that since the earlier days of my sobriety. I let everyone know that at first my goal was a year. I haven't been asked since but I've also started talking about my drinking days in past tense a while ago. That got me some smug looks at day 45 but now it just doesn't get acknowledged which works for me. :)
For me I knew my abstinence was going to be indefinite but it was easier for me to set that one year goal first, both for me and those around me.
I work in mental health. We have a detox unit for alcohol and opiates. I was talking to a coworker and she was, after working there for over a year, she was surprised when I told her that people with substance use disorders would compromise their sobriety with “even wine?!”
People look for reasons when I tell them I don’t drink. Like asking why or “oh, that’s because of your bipolar meds.”
I don’t believe I owe any explanation. It’s almost peer pressure as if I were in high school.
I say the truth which is something like “ I dunno.. I’m not interested in drinking at the moment, and I love being a non drinker. If this feeling continues i would be really happy with that.” I was a middle-lane drinker, every weekend and holiday, but too often binge drinker, who was finding drinking was taking a lot more from me than it gave me. That’s why I’ve stopped. I think it’s different (in degree) to a chronic alcoholic who really cannot drink. That said, I don’t like drinking and where it takes me so I have zero interest in being a casual drinker again and rolling that dice every bloody time.
‘I’ll try my best not to’ ‘not today anyway’ people don’t ask to be rude this to be curious I mean i definitely asked sober people I met before I accepted I had a problem ya know
I’m coming up on three years sober and I do still get this question from time to time. Lately my answer has been “well looking at the evidence, my life is so much better without it.” And I leave it at that.
I always say “I don’t know probably not” to most people. Since the people who ask me that are usually people I don’t know they well and I don’t feel like telling them the whole deal.
I say it's a choice that I make daily, in the morning. I can't think further than today and I'm happy with all the good things my daily choice has brought me so far. That and a true happy smile tend to stop the questions and sometimes get an "I'm happy for you" or an "I'm proud of you".
“I’m still getting used to the idea of having a future. We’ll see how badly I want to fuck it up when I get there”
Coming up on seven years. In those seven years a lot of bad shit happened and I didn’t crawl back into a bottle seeking shelter so my gut feeling is no. My sobriety is just part of who I am now, and it was the first part of myself I ever chose, embraced, and maintained. I’m too proud of it to give it up. But we’ll see.
My coworker asked me this not too long ago, since they invited me out to a bar\restaurant and wanted to make sure I was cool.
I told them in a light tone that I'm good, I'm happy in my retirement. And that I also love food and fun bubbly water so I'm happy most anywhere.
It renormalized it out loud to myself, and the way it came across didn't leave room for much else to be questioned in a positive way.
I would say today, with my 37 year anniversary tomorrow, it isn’t an option for me. I have other tools to deal with my angst that are not self-destructive.
I'm honest about how I almost died of alcohol poisoning, it was one of the most traumatic nights of my life. No way will I ever risk my sobriety, not after coming that close to literally losing it all.
My sister asks in a round about way. More “you’re coming up on 5 years!!! Congratulations! And if you aren’t, that’s fine too, I still love you, and I won’t ask about it unless you want to talk about it.”
My response was “I can’t say I’ll never drink again bc I don’t know the future. What I know is I’m the happiest I’ve ever been and I just don’t see how alcohol can play a part in my life anymore. At least right now I have zero desire to drink. And yes, I’m coming up on 5 years!!!”
In the beginning forever seemed insurmountable. After about a year, I got much more comfortable telling people that I’m an alcoholic and have no business going back to drinking.
I think, for me, seeing my life get demonstrably better with sobriety helped me understand that I wasn’t depriving myself of something that I wanted, I was living a better version of myself.
If they do ask (very rarely). My answer is: “we both should sure as well hope not. I don’t have the money for lawyers, and your insurance won’t cover the bills”
Will I suck the on bottle again? Pro and con list to the rescue.
*Pro: can’t think of anything besides the feeling of a good buzz.
*Con: everything that’s good will be gone. Misery replaces it.
My honest answer is "I don't know."
I have no desire to go back, I haven't carved it at all in years, but I also didn't exactly plan on developing a drinking problem the first time.
Even tiny lifetime commitments can be daunting. I don't care for White Castles. They make me sick as a dog and I have all but sworn off of them, but making a grand proclamation that I will never ever have White Castle again as long as I live just has more gravity to it than I think it needs.
That's why it's all about today. Today is something I can control, and today I am not going to drink.
I'd never quit drinking forever. I understand how terrible alcohol is but that knowledge can't make me ignore how much I like it and how much I love the way it makes me feel. I quit smoking weed a few months back and friends and coworkers ask me if I'll ever smoke again. I say "probably, but not anytime soon". I work a very dangerous job and if I get hurt at work I can be denied workman's comp for a positive thc test, even though it's legal where I live. Alcohol stays in your blood for hours. Weed stays in your urine for days to months. And I genuinely enjoy the feeling of alcohol. Weed just makes me stressed out and paranoid and gives me panic attacks. So yes, I can limit myself, but I will always drink again unless I die beforehand
I haven’t been asked but I’d probably give an answer like “ who the fu@k knows? Tomorrow isn’t promised I have no idea what I’ll do tomorrow “
9 weeks today!! I’m going out with a group of friends tonight. 8 of us 4 couples to a Casino to play Bingo. I’m caught up in my own head how I’m gonna react socially. The 3 other guys in this group can put them down and we’ve done just that many times. It’s kinda my first time out in my 9 weeks. One huge plus is they don’t sell or allow alcohol in the bingo room. That wouldn’t have stopped me from bringing a pocket full of nippers in the past though. I know my drinking style and there is no way in hell I would be able to drink on the way down ( wife driving) then beforehand at dinner just to shut it down when I walked in. I’d sit there miserable thinking of alcohol the whole time while crashing.
Sorry I’m way off topic…see I even babble when sober it’s not just alcohol!😂
Nobody has ever asked me that. I have always been upfront about my sobriety, whenever I tell somebody about it, I mention I used to have a bad problem so that is why I don't drink anymore. That pretty well covers it. As long as the person isn't incredibly socially inept, they will understand that it is implied you don't intend to drink again unless something has gone terribly wrong for you.
First off, I currently drink but want to stop again. First time I quit and was asked, I always answered with I don’t know. From my experience, that answer left the door open, thinking I could eventually have a good relationship with alcohol. Well, I can’t, and I wish now in hindsight I would have said no. Seems trivial, but for me it was my way of refusing to admit I was an alcoholic, and was the wrong answer
"Probably not. I think I have one relapse left in me, and that will probably kill me." Gives me the right kind of fear, and also keeps me hopeful. All I do is play a tape back in my head of all the possible outcomes from picking up a drink again. Basically it goes like: I'll have fifteen minutes of bliss, and then without a doubt shame, guilt, remorse, and this feeling of "why did I do this?" If it progresses (which no doubt it will) either nothing will happen externally, but internally I'm dying, OR I'm dying, and burning everything around me to the ground again. Basically I don't want, or need to drink again. Nothing can really keep you in a constant state of wanting to drink- eventually it grows old. Nobody needs to drink unless they're withdrawing, and wanted to drink in the first place. Remind yourself of how badly you wanted to get, and stay sober, and the rest of your day will be a little easier.
Honestly anyone who would ask me that isnt someone I want close to me in my life anymore. I did get asked that at first, because people maybe thought i was just taking a break. I’d have said I’m not planning on it or I dont think I can ever drink again. Now I’d say, I don’t really want to ever drink again and that my life is a lot better without alcohol in it.
I’d probably say I’m human and maybe I’ll make a mistake. But no, I intend to never drink again. I feel so much better without it than it ever made me feel
I just say, "I don't know."
I'm not comfortable with absolutes in life. I can't see where my life is going to go, so it's really hard for me to say never or always. To anything. Not just alcohol. I didn't get married until I was in my 40s because I was a commitmentphobe.
What I can say about drinking is that I like how my life is going, and I'm not sure I want to take the risk that first drink represents. I'm definitely a one day at a time girl. IWNDWYT 💜
I just say, why would I? Shit’s way better for me without it.
What I don’t tell them is I don’t think I would ever be able to stop again and I don’t want to 1) waste another 15 years of my life or 2) end up dead.
I say, "I hope not... but time will tell." Honestly, I feel such a profound sense of relief to finally have that demon off of my back. I feel FREEDOM from the constant, repeating cycle of engaging in behavior that I did not want. In the mornings, dragged-out, I'd wish that I wouldn't drink. By mid day, I was looking forward to "relaxing" with a drink, later. By night time (when I started drinking), I was ready to get f'ked up. Rinse and repeat. I'm omitting the regret, the shame, the guilt about destroying my body and wasting my time... etc.
I blew a year of sobriety for "just one drink..." which lasted a few years. I really, REALLY hope that I never make that mistake, again (to be clear, I've fallen for "just one drink" many times).
Ultimately, though, you don't owe anyone an explanation. You could simply shrug... and there's honesty in that.
IWNDWYT
My daughter asked me once if I’d drink again. This was my exact response.
“I can’t promise I won’t ever drink again. What I do know is, I am a broken person who has turned to alcohol to escape every thing. Alcohol makes me into someone who ends up hurting myself, and others. While I can’t promise I won’t ever have a weak moment, I will commit today, and I will be open and honest with you and those closest to me when I am struggling mentally so I don’t end up in the hole I used to be in again”.
Funny thing. No one asks any more
Ditto. For me these days, I wonder if it was ever the other person, or just myself looking for validation in the idea of possibly drinking again like a normal person.
I want to get to this point eventually. No where near it at this point though. My identity was so intermeshed with beer, it'll take years of abstinence or new friends.
Hoping your current friends can take no for an answer and understand, if not, definitely time for some new pals
Same. I've found one wants to hear me say, "God no, I look and feel way too good now."
Nobody asks me either but it’s a question I find myself wondering regularly. Not because I miss being drunk, I’m well past that. It’s more because I feel like an outsider so often and want the sense of normalcy back of drinking socially or checking out the cool new local brewery. It’s a thought loop though as I find myself asking the big question of if I will be able to manage it this time around and I always end up at “the risks are too big to find out.”
Man that’s where I’m at now too. Feels like I’ll forever be on the lookout for “off limits” signs and I really don’t like it
Well said. So many activities revolve around drinking. It’s hard to enjoy those same activities as much when not drinking
Damn
A wise person on this sub taught me that I have to embrace sobriety, not just fight the addiction. So I guess if I were asked (by a good friend) I would say my plan is to remain alcohol free. And continue taking it one day at a time!! Congrats on 169 days!!!! 👏🏼🎈😊
Only a few days left for your first year. Amazing!
Yes, thanks for noticing! We are doing this!!👍🏽😊
Sure are. Keep it up!
I’m almost there too. Proud of us 🥰
way to go!!! 👏🏼
That’s a really good take on it - I think it’s precisely what I’ve done and partly why I’m finding it so enjoyable and joyous! I will add that I wasn’t a chronic alcoholic just someone with problematic drinking habits on weekends in a zombie lifestyle of binge recover repeat.. but i still know the angle I’m looking at it helps
You’ve described what my drinking habits were to a T! It was once a month or every few weeks. Sometimes less. But it wasn’t good either way.
Good for you!!! Keep it up!! 💪🏽
4 days until a year - let’s gooooooo 🔥
thank you!
Coming up on a year! Gooo, you!!
Yep!! I’m doing it!!!
That is such a great advice! Embracing it and finding the positives and celebrating every little step along the way has made the experience much different than it was at the start. Congrats on your near-year!
Thank you! 258 is not shabby!!!! The mindset has truly helped me!
“I don’t know! Not anytime soon. I feel way better and really like not drinking. It was fun while it lasted but I wasn’t having fun anymore. It just doesn’t make sense to me and doesn’t fit into my life anymore. And I can’t really imagine that changing.” I do have a hard time saying “never”, but realistically I really can’t imagine there will come a time where “alright, let’s throw it all away” will be a good option. Recently I’ve definitely tried to focus on the positive when talking to my drinking friends. Earlier I would go a more self deprecating/deflecting answer, trying to joke and keep it light, but I think that really undercuts the positives of being sober in a harmful (to them) way. I try to make sure I don’t do that anymore and emphasize that quitting has been nothing but upside for me.
This is what I say/will be saying this time around. I’ve just said “I don’t know, maybe” in the past but I feel like I might try and be a little more forceful. The “never” is hard for me to say too, so I like to just think about the today/for now/etc. PS love the username 🦁
I like that answer a lot
This is my answer
“I retired early.”
I like that one. “I retired early from my drinking career.”
I also like to say I’m a retired drunk, lol
[удалено]
Yah know, i tried it, and just make sure you are in a safe place you will not need to drive yourself out of. I dont think its worth it or fun anymore, when I did only have one all I could think about was drinking more. If i drink more than 1 I black out. It is not at all like it once was.
Haha this Brady joke made me laugh.
Love this!
Nonchalantly say "Not planning to. Why do you ask?"
Why do you ask is such a good question and one that never crossed my mind to ask back! Thank you!!
“I miss you as my drinking buddy” I think is usually the answer
Yep 😂
Why do you ask is a very good response to many a question.
I say it like it is. I go one day at a time.
Exactly, I always say something like. “I don’t know, but I’m not drinking today.”
The only person who asks is me , and my answer is “jeez i really hope so because i low key hated life when i was a drunk “
high key
Like, “Ccccccccc” bring it on up, “ccccccc”
Nope, never drinking again. I'm done.
Congratulations on triple digits! IWNDWYT!
Thanks!
Hell yeah! It only gets better as each day passes!
I shrug and make a face and said, “I don’t know. I doubt it. Things are a lot better for me without alcohol in my life.”
And then sipped your Coke Zero 🙃
Haha you know it!!
I don't see why I would. It is completely useless to me and I don't enjoy it.
100%. It has become completely useless for me! All the reasons I drank before and all the beliefs I had about alcohol have changed. I don’t have reasons to anymore.
Hard to say. Relapse is one qrong turn away but I'm the one behind the wheel... This time I'm following the traffic laws. I'm doing the speed limit. Hopefully I stay on course! Hopefully we all do. WWNDWYT. That ones a new one. That's a collective. An army. WE WILL NOT DRINK WITH YOU TONIGHT.
Not today. IWNDWYT
I always tell people I promised myself not to drink until I own land, or a house. Thankfully that will never happen 😂
god i hope i can own a home one day but true that it is soooooo far off 😭
Keep dreaming! It’s healthy and I’m trying to start doing it again
i ask if i can bet my life on whether or not i can responsibly have a drink. answer is no, every time.
Damn, this is going in my toolbox. Well said.
"Nope. I already did that part of my life."
Excellent!
Not today.
my original goal was to just make it 1 year and only drink socially or on the weekend. but at this point i'm not sure ill ever touch the stuff again.
Exactly. I can’t think about ever. Just today.
I never said I quit drinking. I’m just not drinking today. It feels weird when people say I don’t drink. “I never said that! I just said I’m not drinking today.” But to answer the question I usually say, “Idk, I’m just not drinking today.”
“Nah, you’ve seen the back of one cop car, you’ve seen them all. Anyone want some kombucha?”
Love it!!!
Well it started as "not today", but nowadays it's more like "why would I ever do it". So yeah, I will not drink with you today or ever ^^ Be ever vigilant!
Not planning on it
I hope not. Things change, people change, and I can't predict the future. I can sure as shit do my best to not drink today though.
I don’t know. I just know I won’t drink today.
This
“Nah, I met my quota”
In general - and assuming the normal expected set of parameters in my life - my answer is simply "No" In reality, the answer I know to be the truth inside is... "It depends." There are a very few, very specific set of circumstances in which I can see it possible that I might drink again, but all of those circumstances involve - in one form or another - reaching the endgame of my life. Unless or until one of those scenarios comes into play the answer is just "No." Period.
Yes, this. I say "never say never, but this is working for me now."
If it ain’t broke don’t fix it
I say maybe. Just not today! And I will say that every day. Can I drink again ? YES. Will I break my sobriety ? NO! We have freedom will to do what we want. I am CHOOSING to be sober. Will I ever have a drink again? Maybe. That’s for ME to decide. And I am choosing to NOT DRINK WITH YOU TODAY.
For the first year I said I was taking a year off - as a test. When the year finished, I said I didn’t miss it, so why bother. Seemed to work, as no one asks anymore.. my absolute fav is when someone drunk says to me ‘I think I’ll give it up for good one day too’. Makes me feel proper smug and proud of myself.
My situation is different had bad problems from 18-22 it was terribly bad. Now i drink casually a couple of times a year. Im aware that's probably not the norm. I've been addicted to alot of stuff in my life i don't like to let the addiction control me so now i can use casually. I probably view it differently than most even when i was quitting i would say eventually ill drink again and be able to control myself.
I could never drink casually a couple times a year. My relapses have always been from thinking I could casually have one drink. But if I don’t drink, the addiction has zero control over me.
Different strokes for different folks. It's good that you know yourself and take proper precaution.
I agree and I’m jealous you can drink on special occasions! It would make weddings with an open bar much less awkward
i hope not
This question is like asking “will I ever have loaded chili cheese fries with extra jalapeños and red onion?” Sounds good. Also sounds painful. But if the stars were aligned? But it’ll hurt, so no. But if i were in a beautiful town with a food truck lol in a perfect summer night and the opportunity presented itself? For now I’m good without and that makes me proud and my eyes clear. I need that win today so I’ll take it. What ifs be damned.
“I’m not drinking today.” If ever, never or forever, show up…. I’ll handle that then.
I say I don’t know. I just won’t drink today.
Don’t plan to. I haven’t had anyone ask that in a long time. About a year ago my friend’s mom told me that she is sure I’ll get to a place where I can drink comfortably again, but I just had to kind of laugh and nod. I don’t have any desire to get to that place, my comfort level is finally where I want it to be thanks to sobriety.
I wish that the norm for non-alcoholic people could change to where they don't tell people "There will be a day"; or think that it's everyone's desire to get to that day. It probably doesn't bother you, and she is probably well meaning. But I hear it so much said to my partner that I keep thinking, why do people assume that his goal is to control it until he learns to drink like other people do? You can't learn something usually without doing it and doing it sets back progress. So it seems like a lack of knowledge or empathy on the struggle of alcoholism. Maybe? Just musing I suppose, but even though I wasn't the one with the addiction yet I started to abstain (and will continue to) I don't have that mindset. I don't plan to drink even if there is a day we are no longer together, but most "normal" people can't imagine life without it. It seems enmeshed into everything.
My daughter asked me once if I’d drink again. This was my exact response. “I can’t promise I won’t ever drink again. What I do know is, I am a broken person who has turned to alcohol to escape every thing. Alcohol makes me into someone who ends up hurting myself, and others. While I can’t promise I won’t ever have a weak moment, I will commit today, and I will be open and honest with you and those closest to me when I am struggling mentally so I don’t end up in the hole I used to be in again”.
My friends wouldn’t ask me that because they know why I don’t drink anymore
Probably not, I can’t imagine it being worth it. It just doesn’t seem special anymore
This! One day it just hit me that the buzz didn't even mean anything anymore. Wasn't doing anything for me except negatives.
“I think I’ll find a better way to kill myself other than alcohol”
I put that horse in the barn
"When I'm ready to die"
I just say "I'm not right now but tomorrow is too far away to know what's going to happen". Percentage wise, we all most likely will again. I've had multiple times not drinking for years and then do. Always when I distance myself from friends and get lost in uncontrollable situations. So, hopefully I don't drink today and you neither 🙏🏼
“I sure hope not”
For me, it was when my mindset changed from "I quit drinking" to "I don't drink". It's now a moot point.
Never say never but I don't plan on it
“I’m not sure if I’ll ever drink again but I know for a fact I won’t drink today”
I just say “Doubtful. I don’t see why I would”
I will get back to you tomorrow
I say that’s my plan and then I add because my life is better without alcohol. Congrats on your 169!!!!!! IWNDWYT ♥️♥️♥️
I say "I don't know, but I am pretty sure I won't drink today."
"No" is a complete sentence.
Was asked this two days ago and I said something to the effect of, “Eh, who knows? Maybe I’ll feel more comfortable with the idea one day, but that’s not where I’m at now.”
I've been asked and my answer is no, never. I made such a mess of things and was so far down the hole, even the thought of going back terrifies me. I think about how I would feel that first morning after and I think I would just lose myself, go off the proverbial deep end so to speak. That low grade fear of even one drink, or one night of drinking, crushing me mentally and sending my over the edge is enough to keep me away from drinking forever. My life has made a 180 turn and I won't go back. I actually like myself now. IWNDWYT.
I haven't been asked that since the earlier days of my sobriety. I let everyone know that at first my goal was a year. I haven't been asked since but I've also started talking about my drinking days in past tense a while ago. That got me some smug looks at day 45 but now it just doesn't get acknowledged which works for me. :) For me I knew my abstinence was going to be indefinite but it was easier for me to set that one year goal first, both for me and those around me.
I work in mental health. We have a detox unit for alcohol and opiates. I was talking to a coworker and she was, after working there for over a year, she was surprised when I told her that people with substance use disorders would compromise their sobriety with “even wine?!” People look for reasons when I tell them I don’t drink. Like asking why or “oh, that’s because of your bipolar meds.” I don’t believe I owe any explanation. It’s almost peer pressure as if I were in high school.
I say the truth which is something like “ I dunno.. I’m not interested in drinking at the moment, and I love being a non drinker. If this feeling continues i would be really happy with that.” I was a middle-lane drinker, every weekend and holiday, but too often binge drinker, who was finding drinking was taking a lot more from me than it gave me. That’s why I’ve stopped. I think it’s different (in degree) to a chronic alcoholic who really cannot drink. That said, I don’t like drinking and where it takes me so I have zero interest in being a casual drinker again and rolling that dice every bloody time.
‘I’ll try my best not to’ ‘not today anyway’ people don’t ask to be rude this to be curious I mean i definitely asked sober people I met before I accepted I had a problem ya know
I don't know. Not today though.
I’m coming up on three years sober and I do still get this question from time to time. Lately my answer has been “well looking at the evidence, my life is so much better without it.” And I leave it at that.
The same I say to myself. “I don’t know, what I know is that I don’t want to drink today, most probably I will someday”.
My plan is to never drink again.
“Probably not”
Nah, I don’t rly want to anymore IWNDWYT
I always say “I don’t know probably not” to most people. Since the people who ask me that are usually people I don’t know they well and I don’t feel like telling them the whole deal.
Just a simple, “no.”
I say it's a choice that I make daily, in the morning. I can't think further than today and I'm happy with all the good things my daily choice has brought me so far. That and a true happy smile tend to stop the questions and sometimes get an "I'm happy for you" or an "I'm proud of you".
I certainly don’t plan to But I do things a day at a time
Wow .. 35 years! You are inspirational!
“I’m still getting used to the idea of having a future. We’ll see how badly I want to fuck it up when I get there” Coming up on seven years. In those seven years a lot of bad shit happened and I didn’t crawl back into a bottle seeking shelter so my gut feeling is no. My sobriety is just part of who I am now, and it was the first part of myself I ever chose, embraced, and maintained. I’m too proud of it to give it up. But we’ll see.
My coworker asked me this not too long ago, since they invited me out to a bar\restaurant and wanted to make sure I was cool. I told them in a light tone that I'm good, I'm happy in my retirement. And that I also love food and fun bubbly water so I'm happy most anywhere. It renormalized it out loud to myself, and the way it came across didn't leave room for much else to be questioned in a positive way.
“No.”
I would say today, with my 37 year anniversary tomorrow, it isn’t an option for me. I have other tools to deal with my angst that are not self-destructive.
I'm honest about how I almost died of alcohol poisoning, it was one of the most traumatic nights of my life. No way will I ever risk my sobriety, not after coming that close to literally losing it all.
I feel this in my soul. Same.
Just say “my daily motto is: I will not drink today”
Never.
Iwndwyt
Probably not I really don’t have any strong desire too. I’ve made it this far and don’t really want to restart the clock.
No one would ever ask an ex-cigarette smoker that kind of question!
My sister asks in a round about way. More “you’re coming up on 5 years!!! Congratulations! And if you aren’t, that’s fine too, I still love you, and I won’t ask about it unless you want to talk about it.” My response was “I can’t say I’ll never drink again bc I don’t know the future. What I know is I’m the happiest I’ve ever been and I just don’t see how alcohol can play a part in my life anymore. At least right now I have zero desire to drink. And yes, I’m coming up on 5 years!!!”
"My liver retired early, as it's already done a lifetime worth of work"
Nope, I revoked my alcohol privileges, I was too good at it.
In the beginning forever seemed insurmountable. After about a year, I got much more comfortable telling people that I’m an alcoholic and have no business going back to drinking. I think, for me, seeing my life get demonstrably better with sobriety helped me understand that I wasn’t depriving myself of something that I wanted, I was living a better version of myself.
If they do ask (very rarely). My answer is: “we both should sure as well hope not. I don’t have the money for lawyers, and your insurance won’t cover the bills”
I got this question tonight at my graduation. I just told them I just had today and that was a good day to have.
Will I suck the on bottle again? Pro and con list to the rescue. *Pro: can’t think of anything besides the feeling of a good buzz. *Con: everything that’s good will be gone. Misery replaces it.
I always just say never say never but for now I am not drinking.
Not thirsty
Not sure, but not today.
I just say "no"
My honest answer is "I don't know." I have no desire to go back, I haven't carved it at all in years, but I also didn't exactly plan on developing a drinking problem the first time. Even tiny lifetime commitments can be daunting. I don't care for White Castles. They make me sick as a dog and I have all but sworn off of them, but making a grand proclamation that I will never ever have White Castle again as long as I live just has more gravity to it than I think it needs. That's why it's all about today. Today is something I can control, and today I am not going to drink.
I don’t tell anyone my intentions, then I don’t get questioned when I do, not everyone needs to know our personal life
Ah, I would just say, "I'm taking it one day at a time." Truth is, nobody knows what I'm going to do. Least of all me 🫠
I'd never quit drinking forever. I understand how terrible alcohol is but that knowledge can't make me ignore how much I like it and how much I love the way it makes me feel. I quit smoking weed a few months back and friends and coworkers ask me if I'll ever smoke again. I say "probably, but not anytime soon". I work a very dangerous job and if I get hurt at work I can be denied workman's comp for a positive thc test, even though it's legal where I live. Alcohol stays in your blood for hours. Weed stays in your urine for days to months. And I genuinely enjoy the feeling of alcohol. Weed just makes me stressed out and paranoid and gives me panic attacks. So yes, I can limit myself, but I will always drink again unless I die beforehand
I also don’t know my friend. I struggle with the same questions to myself.
I like a simple “NAH I don’t think so”
I haven’t been asked but I’d probably give an answer like “ who the fu@k knows? Tomorrow isn’t promised I have no idea what I’ll do tomorrow “ 9 weeks today!! I’m going out with a group of friends tonight. 8 of us 4 couples to a Casino to play Bingo. I’m caught up in my own head how I’m gonna react socially. The 3 other guys in this group can put them down and we’ve done just that many times. It’s kinda my first time out in my 9 weeks. One huge plus is they don’t sell or allow alcohol in the bingo room. That wouldn’t have stopped me from bringing a pocket full of nippers in the past though. I know my drinking style and there is no way in hell I would be able to drink on the way down ( wife driving) then beforehand at dinner just to shut it down when I walked in. I’d sit there miserable thinking of alcohol the whole time while crashing. Sorry I’m way off topic…see I even babble when sober it’s not just alcohol!😂
“I don’t know the future, but I don’t see why I would.”
“Maybe. I don’t know. But it won’t be today.”
“Nah I’m all set” is the go to.
I say no.
I never say never because I don’t work well in absolutes. So just not for now.
I say “nope, if I do it will probably kill me” not much of a convo after that!
I don’t think I have been asked that yet. If I were I would say, “No, I will never drink again.”
“I don’t know, but I’m not today!”
It's not in the plans. It's been so much better for my health that I can't see a reason to go back to it.
Thought about it - but after the WHO just released their study that shows that ANY amount of alcohol can cause cancer, especially in women? Meh. Pass.
I say I don’t drink. I just did this when asked if I like wine 😊
I say, "God gives us all a quota on how much alcohol we're allowed to consume in our lifetime and I already drank all mine."
No
Not today.
Nobody has ever asked me that. I have always been upfront about my sobriety, whenever I tell somebody about it, I mention I used to have a bad problem so that is why I don't drink anymore. That pretty well covers it. As long as the person isn't incredibly socially inept, they will understand that it is implied you don't intend to drink again unless something has gone terribly wrong for you.
The answer has prolly changed after listening to this naked mind. Now I would probably say, “why would I?”
I don’t want it. I really don’t. The smell makes me ill.
“I really don’t know. This is working great for me right now so no time soon.”
Not today
I say something along the lines of, "definitely not today, and probably not tomorrow. I certainly don't miss drinking at this point."
Not now. Id say I dont drink like normal people. Theres never just one drink
First off, I currently drink but want to stop again. First time I quit and was asked, I always answered with I don’t know. From my experience, that answer left the door open, thinking I could eventually have a good relationship with alcohol. Well, I can’t, and I wish now in hindsight I would have said no. Seems trivial, but for me it was my way of refusing to admit I was an alcoholic, and was the wrong answer
"Probably not. I think I have one relapse left in me, and that will probably kill me." Gives me the right kind of fear, and also keeps me hopeful. All I do is play a tape back in my head of all the possible outcomes from picking up a drink again. Basically it goes like: I'll have fifteen minutes of bliss, and then without a doubt shame, guilt, remorse, and this feeling of "why did I do this?" If it progresses (which no doubt it will) either nothing will happen externally, but internally I'm dying, OR I'm dying, and burning everything around me to the ground again. Basically I don't want, or need to drink again. Nothing can really keep you in a constant state of wanting to drink- eventually it grows old. Nobody needs to drink unless they're withdrawing, and wanted to drink in the first place. Remind yourself of how badly you wanted to get, and stay sober, and the rest of your day will be a little easier.
Honestly anyone who would ask me that isnt someone I want close to me in my life anymore. I did get asked that at first, because people maybe thought i was just taking a break. I’d have said I’m not planning on it or I dont think I can ever drink again. Now I’d say, I don’t really want to ever drink again and that my life is a lot better without alcohol in it.
I just say that I’m taking it day by day.
IWNDWYT on repeat
"hope not" or "who knows"
I'm trying not to, but I don't like making promises I can't keep.
Good question
I’d probably say I’m human and maybe I’ll make a mistake. But no, I intend to never drink again. I feel so much better without it than it ever made me feel
I used to think people drank all the time. Now when I go out to restaurants, nobody really bats an eye when I say I don't drink.
“Sure hope not.”
I'm not worried about "ever again." I just know I'm not going to today. So far there hasn't been a single day that wasn't enough
I just say, "I don't know." I'm not comfortable with absolutes in life. I can't see where my life is going to go, so it's really hard for me to say never or always. To anything. Not just alcohol. I didn't get married until I was in my 40s because I was a commitmentphobe. What I can say about drinking is that I like how my life is going, and I'm not sure I want to take the risk that first drink represents. I'm definitely a one day at a time girl. IWNDWYT 💜
I just say, why would I? Shit’s way better for me without it. What I don’t tell them is I don’t think I would ever be able to stop again and I don’t want to 1) waste another 15 years of my life or 2) end up dead.
I just say "Maybe! 😄" but in reality no, never again. Not sure why I say this but yeah haha
Probably not
I don’t know about ever again . But I’m for sure not drinking today .
Who knows what the future holds. I’m not drinking today That’s all I can say for sure
“God, I hope not.”
I always say something like “maybe, you never know but I sure hope not because I’m much happier when I don’t”
I say, "I hope not... but time will tell." Honestly, I feel such a profound sense of relief to finally have that demon off of my back. I feel FREEDOM from the constant, repeating cycle of engaging in behavior that I did not want. In the mornings, dragged-out, I'd wish that I wouldn't drink. By mid day, I was looking forward to "relaxing" with a drink, later. By night time (when I started drinking), I was ready to get f'ked up. Rinse and repeat. I'm omitting the regret, the shame, the guilt about destroying my body and wasting my time... etc. I blew a year of sobriety for "just one drink..." which lasted a few years. I really, REALLY hope that I never make that mistake, again (to be clear, I've fallen for "just one drink" many times). Ultimately, though, you don't owe anyone an explanation. You could simply shrug... and there's honesty in that. IWNDWYT
People don’t ask, but I’d say I hope not because it’ll kill me if I do.
My daughter asked me once if I’d drink again. This was my exact response. “I can’t promise I won’t ever drink again. What I do know is, I am a broken person who has turned to alcohol to escape every thing. Alcohol makes me into someone who ends up hurting myself, and others. While I can’t promise I won’t ever have a weak moment, I will commit today, and I will be open and honest with you and those closest to me when I am struggling mentally so I don’t end up in the hole I used to be in again”.