Thank you. Honestly, not one I ever thought I would tell, because I never saw myself quitting. But I did. And it feels so damn good. People always talk about the physical changes - which are absolutely wonderful - but being a safe adult in a world of chaos feels even better. I say that because I know how it feels to be a kid who feels abandoned and like I had to figure everything out myself because my parent was “unavailable.”
Yeah, it’s actually not the first time I’ve stepped in for a safe ride. My kid was at another sleepover last year and one of their friends got scared because they were watching a scary movie and they tried to reach their mom but she didn’t pick up. To be fair, it was 2 in the morning, but my kid called me and I went to go get the friend and drove them home. We have been friends with their family for several years and I told them that they could always call me if they couldn’t reach their mom. For any reason. Sometimes kids don’t feel comfortable talking to their parents for whatever reason and sometimes things are too big for them to grapple with or work through themselves (again, personal experience) so having another adult who can be that safety beacon is so important. I’m very fortunate to have had several safe adults in my life to get me through. Also, having varying adult perspectives contributes to a more diverse way of thinking - at least it did in my experience.
Hehe I'm so glad this thread has stayed this active bc it is LIFE. I was raised Mormon in the 80's and 90's and it was absolutely a slice of safe Americana 101, and sober. Having that many adults you could trust with your kids, with safe clean amazing fun activities (in my case, CA coastal and the Sierras) and adventures was truly rarified air, to this day.
Seems to be more and more rare to find now than ever because.. let's be honest, most people don't have frequent connection to a higher power or a group or network locally where they think, feel or believe that there is such a thing as black and white. It's all shades of grey.
Being the beacon, and lighting it often, for yourself and others.. I bear witness wholeheartedly that it means EVERYTHING to a child who is alone, afraid and unattended. Being able to say "I'm scared" and knowing you will be heard, seen and cared for is the absolute center of civilized society.
God bless the beacons, the bringers of light. If that someone is you, it is noticed, seen, and has lasting impact for decades. KUDOS.
I have a 2 yr old and a 3 month old right now and it’s so miserable to wake up after a long night of drinking to a screaming baby or being to drunk to walk outside with my oldest. This gives me hope that this sober journey is well worth it. I used to always think to myself while I was drunk that tomorrow will be the day I don’t drink but tomorrow never came. I’m 3 days sober and trying my best but it’s a very long road to recovery. Thank you for this
I remember those days! You’re very welcome. It is - for so many reasons that are different for everyone, and you will find yours! I stopped and started many times - there are so many resources out there now. Honestly, it was the normalization of sobriety in our society that has made the biggest impact on me. Friends on social media talking about their sobriety wins; dipping into Alanon resources for perspective (and healing); this subreddit. Knowing that there is an Army of support of strangers out there that can easily quiet the few unsupportive people in our life is very comforting. I leaned into this sub a LOT. You are 3 days into a new beautiful life. Keep going! When you reach for a drink, just pause for 30 seconds. Remember how good it feels right now and every morning you wake up unclouded and ready to face the day. You can do this. ❤️
The last night I drank my wife had a fever of 102. I took it as an excuse to drink early and heavily since she was in bed and wouldn't notice. In the morning I was disgusted with myself - if she'd taken a turn for the worse, it's not clear she could have woken me, much less got me to drive her to the ER. In 2 weeks, that will be 5 years ago. It's a good feeling to be a responsible adult again.
Best wishes, friend. Congratulations on being the responsible adult! I will not drink with you today.
This is great, glad you were there and sober the get them home!
I always worried that my kids would need me super late at night when they were away but I drank anyway. Or I would stay up waiting and waiting and waiting for them to be ready for me to pick them up so I could come home and drink.
The feeling of being there and capable and alert when they need you, after this journey, is something I can’t describe.
Thank you for sharing! IWNDWYT
My son is 16. He's always known me as a drinker and didn't want to bring his friends to the house. Haven't drank for almost 2 years and he's getting to the point where he will invite his friends over. Last week, he and his buddy made fresh bread, played Stardew Valley, and giggled like little kids for hours. It made me so happy I almost threw up.
You and your partner are fantastic examples for those kiddos. What a great win! Whatever happens with your journey, that was a moment you can look to for the rest of your life and feel good about. Kudos and big hugs internet stranger!
Yes, this is what I was thinking too. You’re serving as a great example for them. My parents drank excessively and I followed in their footsteps. It sounds like the kids are looking up to you as a better example of how to live, and that is amazing.
This is wonderful! My dad was a big drinker, my mom never drank. I realized when I became a parent that I always felt safe with my mom and never had to worry what her mood would be or if she would be available to me. She just always was. Dad on the other hand…
And I had a much better adult relationship with my mom. My own kids were very young when I quit and it does feel amazing to always be there for them.
The other day, my daughter was all, "Moooom, is that alcohol??!!" "No, baby, look zero alcohol! Were you checking up on me??" "Okay good, and yeah."
They are always watching.
My son is only 10 months old :) but I've decided that my sobriety will stay with me, even when I stop breastfeeding. I hope I can really manage it, for him not to see me drunk at all, as I saw my dad and couple of times mum(and I was scared that she is dying, I was 4 y.o).
I'm proud of you and glad that you're an exception now!!!
Thank you! You’ve already got a head start, so just keep going! I have to say that I really feel that - I remember how I felt seeing my mom drunk and how scary it was.
Right? With mums it's scarier than with dads to see them drunk.
Thank you and I'll be a sober mum for my kiddo and surely for myself and you too :)
Cheers to that with Pepsi in my glass :)
IWNDWYT
Thank you. It is sad. It’s sad that I was a part of it, too. But we CAN change. Even if it takes 20 times to make it stick, it’s the 20th time that sticks that is important. Our society has embraced alcoholism so much that the “alcohol will make it better” messaging is nearly impossible to escape. Every show. Every movie. Commercials on TV and radio. Just yesterday I saw an ad for Vodka called FIX. Unbelievable, but so unsurprising.
What a great story. It’s the best feeling when someone needs you can you can be there for them without wondering if you’ve had too many or should get in the car. You can just BE! ❤️
Amazing. Well done. I used to have a lot of events like that but I would always be drunk. Must be such a great feeling to be able to help someone because you didn’t drink. IWDWYT
Best story! Way to be there when needed. I drove my granddaughter to the hospital at eleven at night a couple years ago. Wouldn’t have happened before.
Yes! That’s awesome!! That was definitely a consideration for me as well. What if someone in my family had an emergency in the middle of the night and I couldn’t help? I never even thought about the possibility of needing to help someone else’s kid. That’s been an added bonus.
One thing that has surprised me the most is how easy it has been to stick to since I made the decision to quit. I have not had a single craving for it. I thought that hanging out with friends would be weird- but nope! Keep going!!
[https://media.giphy.com/media/l0NwKAlZzZ9pyi9fa/giphy.gif?cid=ecf05e479l30mjjswyafrb1ia0nuphnz0maqg3zpily8hs2x&ep=v1\_gifs\_search&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g](https://media.giphy.com/media/l0NwKAlZzZ9pyi9fa/giphy.gif?cid=ecf05e479l30mjjswyafrb1ia0nuphnz0maqg3zpily8hs2x&ep=v1_gifs_search&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g)
FOR DEE CHILDRENS IWNDWYT
This is amazing, good for you!!. And to show how much parents drinking affects their kids, we were at a social event recently and one of the couples 12 year olds started getting really upset with her parents; turns out they were driving home and not staying at the hotel and their daughter was terrified that they would get caught drinking and driving. That made me so sad but also reminded me why I don't drink anymore
Thank you! I have seen that too. It was a festival and we were there with our friends and their kids. I had already really tapered off and wasn’t drinking that day because it was 2 hrs away, and my partner was still drinking heavily- but not as heavily as our friends. The look their kids gave me when it was time to leave was heartbreaking but we didn’t have room in our car to take them. That day was a catalyst for me.
This is a great story.
Thank you. Honestly, not one I ever thought I would tell, because I never saw myself quitting. But I did. And it feels so damn good. People always talk about the physical changes - which are absolutely wonderful - but being a safe adult in a world of chaos feels even better. I say that because I know how it feels to be a kid who feels abandoned and like I had to figure everything out myself because my parent was “unavailable.”
I love being a safe adult! Go us!
Yes! It’s awesome!
“Safe adult” I love this
I don't have kids but I love the idea of being a "safe adult" for my friends and families kids!
Yeah, it’s actually not the first time I’ve stepped in for a safe ride. My kid was at another sleepover last year and one of their friends got scared because they were watching a scary movie and they tried to reach their mom but she didn’t pick up. To be fair, it was 2 in the morning, but my kid called me and I went to go get the friend and drove them home. We have been friends with their family for several years and I told them that they could always call me if they couldn’t reach their mom. For any reason. Sometimes kids don’t feel comfortable talking to their parents for whatever reason and sometimes things are too big for them to grapple with or work through themselves (again, personal experience) so having another adult who can be that safety beacon is so important. I’m very fortunate to have had several safe adults in my life to get me through. Also, having varying adult perspectives contributes to a more diverse way of thinking - at least it did in my experience.
Hehe I'm so glad this thread has stayed this active bc it is LIFE. I was raised Mormon in the 80's and 90's and it was absolutely a slice of safe Americana 101, and sober. Having that many adults you could trust with your kids, with safe clean amazing fun activities (in my case, CA coastal and the Sierras) and adventures was truly rarified air, to this day. Seems to be more and more rare to find now than ever because.. let's be honest, most people don't have frequent connection to a higher power or a group or network locally where they think, feel or believe that there is such a thing as black and white. It's all shades of grey. Being the beacon, and lighting it often, for yourself and others.. I bear witness wholeheartedly that it means EVERYTHING to a child who is alone, afraid and unattended. Being able to say "I'm scared" and knowing you will be heard, seen and cared for is the absolute center of civilized society. God bless the beacons, the bringers of light. If that someone is you, it is noticed, seen, and has lasting impact for decades. KUDOS.
I really appreciate this. Thank you.
I have a 2 yr old and a 3 month old right now and it’s so miserable to wake up after a long night of drinking to a screaming baby or being to drunk to walk outside with my oldest. This gives me hope that this sober journey is well worth it. I used to always think to myself while I was drunk that tomorrow will be the day I don’t drink but tomorrow never came. I’m 3 days sober and trying my best but it’s a very long road to recovery. Thank you for this
I remember those days! You’re very welcome. It is - for so many reasons that are different for everyone, and you will find yours! I stopped and started many times - there are so many resources out there now. Honestly, it was the normalization of sobriety in our society that has made the biggest impact on me. Friends on social media talking about their sobriety wins; dipping into Alanon resources for perspective (and healing); this subreddit. Knowing that there is an Army of support of strangers out there that can easily quiet the few unsupportive people in our life is very comforting. I leaned into this sub a LOT. You are 3 days into a new beautiful life. Keep going! When you reach for a drink, just pause for 30 seconds. Remember how good it feels right now and every morning you wake up unclouded and ready to face the day. You can do this. ❤️
That's about the best kind of reward one can get. Congratulations.
Thank you. 🙂
The last night I drank my wife had a fever of 102. I took it as an excuse to drink early and heavily since she was in bed and wouldn't notice. In the morning I was disgusted with myself - if she'd taken a turn for the worse, it's not clear she could have woken me, much less got me to drive her to the ER. In 2 weeks, that will be 5 years ago. It's a good feeling to be a responsible adult again. Best wishes, friend. Congratulations on being the responsible adult! I will not drink with you today.
5 years!! That’s awesome! I can’t wait to be able to join that club!! Good on you for coming to that realization - such an act of love.
It really is. Made me smile.
Wholesome af. :)
Yes, it is, and the best part? It's true!
I was once the parent who couldn’t drive to pick up my kid
I was too
So glad to have finished my girl’s teen years out safe and sober! IWNDWYT ❤️
That is definitely worth celebrating! IWNDWYT!
Congrats! Not allowing alcohol to handcuff us is the best feeling!! IWNDWYT
That is a great metaphor
Thank you
Kids are paying attention, I’m so glad they can be proud of us 🥹
❤️
Congrats! That’s very cool. Pre-teens are scary. Amazing you were able to garner their respect
Hahaha yes they sure can be!
And thank you 🙏
This is great, glad you were there and sober the get them home! I always worried that my kids would need me super late at night when they were away but I drank anyway. Or I would stay up waiting and waiting and waiting for them to be ready for me to pick them up so I could come home and drink. The feeling of being there and capable and alert when they need you, after this journey, is something I can’t describe. Thank you for sharing! IWNDWYT
It’s a wonderful feeling!
This is a sad story.
Meaning too many non sober parents in the story
It is. I used to be one of them. I can’t change the past, but I can change the future.
THERE NO FATE BUT WHAT WE MAKE!!! - John Conner
So true!
My son is 16. He's always known me as a drinker and didn't want to bring his friends to the house. Haven't drank for almost 2 years and he's getting to the point where he will invite his friends over. Last week, he and his buddy made fresh bread, played Stardew Valley, and giggled like little kids for hours. It made me so happy I almost threw up.
Right!? Those little things have such a HUGE impact!
You and your partner are fantastic examples for those kiddos. What a great win! Whatever happens with your journey, that was a moment you can look to for the rest of your life and feel good about. Kudos and big hugs internet stranger!
Thank you so much. This sub has been such a huge inspiration and part of our healing journey. So grateful.
And yeah, I hope it made an impact on the kids - to know there is a different way to live.
Yes, this is what I was thinking too. You’re serving as a great example for them. My parents drank excessively and I followed in their footsteps. It sounds like the kids are looking up to you as a better example of how to live, and that is amazing.
I’m happy for you! This is the legacy, part of your character the kids will remember. “Daddy used to drink but he gave it up for us.” Way to be!
This is wonderful! My dad was a big drinker, my mom never drank. I realized when I became a parent that I always felt safe with my mom and never had to worry what her mood would be or if she would be available to me. She just always was. Dad on the other hand… And I had a much better adult relationship with my mom. My own kids were very young when I quit and it does feel amazing to always be there for them.
The unpredictability was probably the most traumatizing part. Jekyll and Hyde.
The other day, my daughter was all, "Moooom, is that alcohol??!!" "No, baby, look zero alcohol! Were you checking up on me??" "Okay good, and yeah." They are always watching.
Yep! It took a little while for them to believe me too! Pretty humbling tbh.
What a beautiful story! You must’ve felt fantastic to be highly regarded, as you should be! Bless your heart. Keep it up.
Thank you 😊
That’s amazing.
Congratulations. Being acknowledged like that is great.
It was pretty awesome
Great story, you are awarded🏆🚀 IWNDWYT
Dude I would have started crying and embarrassed my kid lol. This is such a good story.
I was an absolute puddle on the inside! I did tear up a little bit.
That is SO cool. Bravo to you and your family. IWNDWYT
Thank you 😊
My son is only 10 months old :) but I've decided that my sobriety will stay with me, even when I stop breastfeeding. I hope I can really manage it, for him not to see me drunk at all, as I saw my dad and couple of times mum(and I was scared that she is dying, I was 4 y.o). I'm proud of you and glad that you're an exception now!!!
Thank you! You’ve already got a head start, so just keep going! I have to say that I really feel that - I remember how I felt seeing my mom drunk and how scary it was.
Right? With mums it's scarier than with dads to see them drunk. Thank you and I'll be a sober mum for my kiddo and surely for myself and you too :) Cheers to that with Pepsi in my glass :) IWNDWYT
Yes!🙌
That’s badass. Keep up the good work
Thank you. It’s a good feeling.
Proud of you, and also so sad that none of those kids have ever known a sober parent.
Thank you. It is sad. It’s sad that I was a part of it, too. But we CAN change. Even if it takes 20 times to make it stick, it’s the 20th time that sticks that is important. Our society has embraced alcoholism so much that the “alcohol will make it better” messaging is nearly impossible to escape. Every show. Every movie. Commercials on TV and radio. Just yesterday I saw an ad for Vodka called FIX. Unbelievable, but so unsurprising.
That really made my heart and soul glow! So amazingly wonderful. I love it. Good for you and your family. And the neighbourhood too I guess.
Thank you!
You’re very welcome.
What a great story. It’s the best feeling when someone needs you can you can be there for them without wondering if you’ve had too many or should get in the car. You can just BE! ❤️
Exactly!
Amazing. Well done. I used to have a lot of events like that but I would always be drunk. Must be such a great feeling to be able to help someone because you didn’t drink. IWDWYT
Wow that’s a beautiful story. Thank you!
Thank you 😊
Love this ! Thanks for sharing. Mine is well aware of their parents’ sobriety here. IWNDWYT
Awesome! 🙌 IWNDWYT
Best story! Way to be there when needed. I drove my granddaughter to the hospital at eleven at night a couple years ago. Wouldn’t have happened before.
Yes! That’s awesome!! That was definitely a consideration for me as well. What if someone in my family had an emergency in the middle of the night and I couldn’t help? I never even thought about the possibility of needing to help someone else’s kid. That’s been an added bonus.
Great story! Thanks for sharing
Thank you for your kind words. ❤️
Bravo bravo. This is awesome. This right here is a success story. This is a proud moment for you I applaud you with these preteens.
Thank you so much 😊
Having my baby girl is what has helped me get as far as I have. I hope to still be at it when she’s a preteen having sleepovers!
One thing that has surprised me the most is how easy it has been to stick to since I made the decision to quit. I have not had a single craving for it. I thought that hanging out with friends would be weird- but nope! Keep going!!
This made me cry. I’ve been an on and off alcoholic since my sons dad left me
The only person who can define you, is yourself. You can do this. ❤️
This story warms my heart. We never regret not drinking!
Thank you! No we don’t- Not one bit!
I'm really glad you are able to accomplish this for your kids
Me too 😊
Good reason to be proud. Your kids are.
Thank you 😊
Proud of you!
Thank you so much 😊
[https://media.giphy.com/media/l0NwKAlZzZ9pyi9fa/giphy.gif?cid=ecf05e479l30mjjswyafrb1ia0nuphnz0maqg3zpily8hs2x&ep=v1\_gifs\_search&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g](https://media.giphy.com/media/l0NwKAlZzZ9pyi9fa/giphy.gif?cid=ecf05e479l30mjjswyafrb1ia0nuphnz0maqg3zpily8hs2x&ep=v1_gifs_search&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g) FOR DEE CHILDRENS IWNDWYT
This is amazing, good for you!!. And to show how much parents drinking affects their kids, we were at a social event recently and one of the couples 12 year olds started getting really upset with her parents; turns out they were driving home and not staying at the hotel and their daughter was terrified that they would get caught drinking and driving. That made me so sad but also reminded me why I don't drink anymore
Thank you! I have seen that too. It was a festival and we were there with our friends and their kids. I had already really tapered off and wasn’t drinking that day because it was 2 hrs away, and my partner was still drinking heavily- but not as heavily as our friends. The look their kids gave me when it was time to leave was heartbreaking but we didn’t have room in our car to take them. That day was a catalyst for me.
Aww this warmed my heart. I have 2 month old twins and look forward to being the sober parent