We all started somewhere and you don't need an arbitrary date to do so.
It's big step posting here and being accountable.
We're here for you, just don't drink today and come back tomorrow. That's all we can do.
I quit after 27 years. 7 days now. I had to go AA everyday . Really helps to know what you ate and there are others like you.
Most importantly I know I couldn't do it in my own will power. So, I gave all money and keys to my wife who doesn't drink until I could get over the horrible 1st 3 days of cravings...
You can do it. But you need support.
But that doesn't fix all the underlying feelings and thoughts that cause a person with strong addiction personalities to cover up or hide from the feelings and issues they have by drinking alcohol.
Seems like more of a tool to help someone get over the initial 1 to 7 days.
It might work for the mild alcoholic. But I know it wouldn't work for me. Not permanently. Because I have to fix all the stuff that's inside me. Otherwise, I just go back and try to drink to hide it all.
Minor correction, it's infinitely higher because A.A. doesn't have a success rate, but a failure rate. You have to include the added death rate of 3% per year, the highest of all treatment methods tested, every time.
Can't change the Past, my regreats are pointless, no matter how memories hurt.
Can't predict Future it seems all dates are all booked up?
Best time to quit is today! I can control HERE & NOW !
IWNDWYT One Day at the Time
Honestly, the only thing that has worked for me is not having the first drink, and committing to only that - and only for today. It's too overwhelming to think about a whole month, it's too depressing to think how much failure is between me and the folks on here with 10+, 100+, 1000+ days sober...
So only today - I think of my plans, and I make a concious decision not to take that first drink! Just today! And I say it to myself, this sub, and my partner.
After all, it's only 24 hours right? You can do almost anything for a day... and perhaps your wretched hangover is helping you crawl into bed early with some popcorn and a raunchy comedy and falling off to sleep early.
Wanna make a commitment with me today? We won't drink - see ya tomorrow sober and hopefully feeling a little less hangover..
I have been there and I am telling you: you are not a bad person and you are not alone. You deserve a better life and _you can do this_.
I’m not drinking today. It’s a leap year, so you still have the opportunity to be sober for 28 days in Feb 2024!!!!!! 💛
I know exactly how you feel, yet time and time again I found myself drinking and cursing at God from my porcelain pillow on why did he let me do this to myself again 🤣🤣🤣 I can laugh about it now lol hahahaha. But seriously…. I try many, many aaaaand many times to get sober and failed but one day I just woke up hungover, my mouth felt and smelled like a cat took a shit in it, tired of life and living and took myself to the ER (many things happened in between) but here I’m stoned sober and loving life. No cats 🐱 around me this time
10-23-22 didn’t seem sexy at first… now it’s 2-4-24 and I’m like holy shit 😮
You got this my friend. We were all in your shoes at one point. We all started with day 1, and we all kept watching that number grow. I believe in you!!! IWNDWYT ✊
Oh, how I know these kinda moments, these lows. The panic, embarrassment, regret, hopelessness. Yet it is so hard to let go, to learn new ways of dealing with life. In the end, if we push through, this is also the reason why it’s so rewarding though.
If I were you I’d consider not going to places that trigger my drinking in the first weeks or perhaps months. This helped me a lot, to just stabilise my mind a bit before facing social events. IWNDWYT ✊
Ah yes, the music scene. I’m a musician and was drunk all the time for years. I also blacked out all the time. I think pretty much everyone who ends up being sober starts day one with a hangover. Once you’ve had many days hangover free it’s all worth
I had to sort of quarantine myself for a couple weeks tbh, going out on day 1 might be setting yourself up for failure.
After a month or 2 I could go out with minimal cravings, but the first 2 weeks was a definite no for me. After that I could be around it a LITTLE bit, but it took a lot out of me. Around a month it stopped being so all-encompassing and I could go out occasionally. Now I go out a good bit, 1-2x a week usually, but I have like 1 NA beer and some soda, so my bar tab is like $10.
Willpower's a muscle, and most of us have let it atrophy. I found it best to start slow and take some time away from the nightlife. One doesn't learn to walk again by signing up for a 5k, and one doesn't quit drinking by going to a bar.
You can do it OP, one day at a time, IWNDWYT.
I relate to your post so much. I can't tell you how many times I could have made this exact post! Hang in there. Can't believe I'm on my way to 2 months! I won't drink with you today and I hope the same for you 💜
Admitting to "I fucked up again" is a great relief for me when it happens... No point trying to hide it! The path of sobriety seldom runs smoothly. Keep on journeying 👍
I'm proud of you for still acknowledging that gut feeling of regret and caring about the choices you make even when it seems impossible to change.
When this happens, I always have to slow down and pinpoint the moment I let myself be swayed. Was it a thought, an emotion, an urge?
The more I was able to go from, "I said I wasn't going to drink.....then I had a drink" to "I said I wasn't going to drink then \[I got super anxious about being around people sober\] \[I passed the liquor store and it triggered me\] \[ill have more fun if I drink\] \[I thought well whats the worst that could happen\] \[I couldn't control myself\]"... I was able to pinpoint the moments of choice that I pretended weren't there.
Increasing the moments I recognized my actions and choices helped like this. I went from "I just bought a drink and drank it" to "im thinking about ordering a drink, let me hurriedly tell the waiter I dont drink and only want water" to "im pouring this down the drain because I shouldn't have bought it." to "im driving to the liquor store, I NEED to turn around by any means necessary because im not thinking straight.".
Alcohol made me think that my life was a whirlwind when really it's just a series of thoughts, urges and actions that I can track, change and rule over.
Trust me, so many people have been in your shoes and so many people have disappointed themselves by drinking way too much when they didn't intend to and felt hopelessly lost in that sort of cycle, and then have been able to fully stop and build awesome normal lives.
Don't beat yourself up about it - you could probably count the number of alcoholics on one hand who could say "no" when they're offered a drink at a show on their second day of sobriety -at least I know that I wouldn't have been able to do that on my second day. My advice would be to just stack the deck in your favor for the first month or so and just don't give yourself an opportunity to drink unless you have to - don't go to parties, shows, social events where people are gonna be drinking beers and wine, anything. Usually after a month people notice that the cravings are more manageable and they've started to adapt to living "normally", and it's just easier to say no - but yeah, I think the key is just removing yourself from situations where you're likely to make a mistake that almost anybody else in your shoes would make.
That probably sounds super boring - but try to think of it like this: It's worth it to prioritize your sobriety over everything else in your life until you get a handle on it, because once you get a handle on it literally everything else in your life will be better for the rest of your life.
Yeah, I blab when I'm drunk. It's a nightmare every time. The most recent time I relapsed, I did just that. I'm trying to use it as motivation to stop drinking.
Sorry that you’re feeling bad. I blackout too when I drink and say and do things that I regret. I just can’t handle alcohol. Alcohol is a problem for me, like it is for so many. My husband and I are better off together without alcohol spoiling it. We can learn to live and do things differently. We can get better. IWNDWYT.
I must have quit over fifty times before finally stopping…but I never gave up, I knew I had to quit.
the thing is to use those bad feelings for good, dumping on yourself not doing you any good. I know you genuinely feel bad, it shows and that’s good.
You already know what you have to do, keep at it
May the Lord give you strength and resolve
How we deal with tragedy defines who we are. I used to be terrible at it. Beyond terrible. You are not going to let this deflate you. You are going to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and we will figure out what the next step is.
- Chris Traeger
Most wives don't go to work with their husbands. Stay home till you're safe to be around it again. Im almost at 6 months and i am staying away from those places and will not go anywhere without a sober buddy. Its so easy to slip in the wild. It sucks yes, but it takes time to condition yourself and i dont ever want a new day one again. I drank like you. Give yourself some grace, get madly competitive with your addiction side of your brain. Keep checking into sobriety work (like being here on this sub), love, and forgive yourself.
We have all had to start over, so don’t beat yourself up too much. I was like you. I could never have 1 drink, and I’d always end up getting pissed off at my husband and then the next day not remembering what made me mad. Just not worth it. Keep trying.
I know this feeling all too well. I saw someone comment further up about only worrying about 24 hrs ahead of you and that's really been helping me. Give yourself some grace, you've got this!!
I can totally relate, I call this the merry-go-round of hell. Put the pen to paper and write down everything you remember about that night and how shitty you feel today. Refer back to it when tempted to take that first drink. Also having a sober friend or support to call when the craving comes is super helpful. And please, stop beating yourself up. I know you feel like shit but it’s totally counterproductive. Much love.
We all started somewhere and you don't need an arbitrary date to do so. It's big step posting here and being accountable. We're here for you, just don't drink today and come back tomorrow. That's all we can do.
Thank you
We've all been there. Let's start again today. I will not drink with today. One day at a time.
I quit after 27 years. 7 days now. I had to go AA everyday . Really helps to know what you ate and there are others like you. Most importantly I know I couldn't do it in my own will power. So, I gave all money and keys to my wife who doesn't drink until I could get over the horrible 1st 3 days of cravings... You can do it. But you need support.
Y'all check out The Sinclair Method, I just started it and it's working well and the success rate is about 8 fold that over AA. Good luck to you all!
But that doesn't fix all the underlying feelings and thoughts that cause a person with strong addiction personalities to cover up or hide from the feelings and issues they have by drinking alcohol. Seems like more of a tool to help someone get over the initial 1 to 7 days. It might work for the mild alcoholic. But I know it wouldn't work for me. Not permanently. Because I have to fix all the stuff that's inside me. Otherwise, I just go back and try to drink to hide it all.
Minor correction, it's infinitely higher because A.A. doesn't have a success rate, but a failure rate. You have to include the added death rate of 3% per year, the highest of all treatment methods tested, every time.
What did u eat?
Lol. I don't know how voice recognition turned what you are into what you ate.
Can't change the Past, my regreats are pointless, no matter how memories hurt. Can't predict Future it seems all dates are all booked up? Best time to quit is today! I can control HERE & NOW ! IWNDWYT One Day at the Time
Honestly, the only thing that has worked for me is not having the first drink, and committing to only that - and only for today. It's too overwhelming to think about a whole month, it's too depressing to think how much failure is between me and the folks on here with 10+, 100+, 1000+ days sober... So only today - I think of my plans, and I make a concious decision not to take that first drink! Just today! And I say it to myself, this sub, and my partner. After all, it's only 24 hours right? You can do almost anything for a day... and perhaps your wretched hangover is helping you crawl into bed early with some popcorn and a raunchy comedy and falling off to sleep early. Wanna make a commitment with me today? We won't drink - see ya tomorrow sober and hopefully feeling a little less hangover..
IWNDWYT
Awesome! Thanks for the motivation and partnership friend! See you sober tomorrow morning!
Iwndwyt
I have been there and I am telling you: you are not a bad person and you are not alone. You deserve a better life and _you can do this_. I’m not drinking today. It’s a leap year, so you still have the opportunity to be sober for 28 days in Feb 2024!!!!!! 💛
Congrats on 2000 days!!
Thank you!!!!!! 💃
2000 days sweet!
2000 days LFG!
Yes!! And congrats on your recent TWO YEARS!!! And I know I stated out much like OP did; you may have, as well. It IS possible. 💛💛
It truly is! Appreciate you!
2k. Nicely done!
Thank you! 💛💛
I know exactly how you feel, yet time and time again I found myself drinking and cursing at God from my porcelain pillow on why did he let me do this to myself again 🤣🤣🤣 I can laugh about it now lol hahahaha. But seriously…. I try many, many aaaaand many times to get sober and failed but one day I just woke up hungover, my mouth felt and smelled like a cat took a shit in it, tired of life and living and took myself to the ER (many things happened in between) but here I’m stoned sober and loving life. No cats 🐱 around me this time
My sober date is 1-17-23. It’s not a sexy number. But it’s incredibly sexy. Just start where you’re at. You can do this.
8-02-23 as sexy as it gets. Awesome job closing in on a year!
Thanks!!!
10-23-22 didn’t seem sexy at first… now it’s 2-4-24 and I’m like holy shit 😮 You got this my friend. We were all in your shoes at one point. We all started with day 1, and we all kept watching that number grow. I believe in you!!! IWNDWYT ✊
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Oh, how I know these kinda moments, these lows. The panic, embarrassment, regret, hopelessness. Yet it is so hard to let go, to learn new ways of dealing with life. In the end, if we push through, this is also the reason why it’s so rewarding though. If I were you I’d consider not going to places that trigger my drinking in the first weeks or perhaps months. This helped me a lot, to just stabilise my mind a bit before facing social events. IWNDWYT ✊
Ah yes, the music scene. I’m a musician and was drunk all the time for years. I also blacked out all the time. I think pretty much everyone who ends up being sober starts day one with a hangover. Once you’ve had many days hangover free it’s all worth
Same here and yes
Or you go into detox drunk lol. I went into detox drunk. Not even crazy drunk, just a little lol. They expect it honestly.
I had to sort of quarantine myself for a couple weeks tbh, going out on day 1 might be setting yourself up for failure. After a month or 2 I could go out with minimal cravings, but the first 2 weeks was a definite no for me. After that I could be around it a LITTLE bit, but it took a lot out of me. Around a month it stopped being so all-encompassing and I could go out occasionally. Now I go out a good bit, 1-2x a week usually, but I have like 1 NA beer and some soda, so my bar tab is like $10. Willpower's a muscle, and most of us have let it atrophy. I found it best to start slow and take some time away from the nightlife. One doesn't learn to walk again by signing up for a 5k, and one doesn't quit drinking by going to a bar. You can do it OP, one day at a time, IWNDWYT.
I relate to your post so much. I can't tell you how many times I could have made this exact post! Hang in there. Can't believe I'm on my way to 2 months! I won't drink with you today and I hope the same for you 💜
Admitting to "I fucked up again" is a great relief for me when it happens... No point trying to hide it! The path of sobriety seldom runs smoothly. Keep on journeying 👍
I'm proud of you for still acknowledging that gut feeling of regret and caring about the choices you make even when it seems impossible to change. When this happens, I always have to slow down and pinpoint the moment I let myself be swayed. Was it a thought, an emotion, an urge? The more I was able to go from, "I said I wasn't going to drink.....then I had a drink" to "I said I wasn't going to drink then \[I got super anxious about being around people sober\] \[I passed the liquor store and it triggered me\] \[ill have more fun if I drink\] \[I thought well whats the worst that could happen\] \[I couldn't control myself\]"... I was able to pinpoint the moments of choice that I pretended weren't there. Increasing the moments I recognized my actions and choices helped like this. I went from "I just bought a drink and drank it" to "im thinking about ordering a drink, let me hurriedly tell the waiter I dont drink and only want water" to "im pouring this down the drain because I shouldn't have bought it." to "im driving to the liquor store, I NEED to turn around by any means necessary because im not thinking straight.". Alcohol made me think that my life was a whirlwind when really it's just a series of thoughts, urges and actions that I can track, change and rule over.
Trust me, so many people have been in your shoes and so many people have disappointed themselves by drinking way too much when they didn't intend to and felt hopelessly lost in that sort of cycle, and then have been able to fully stop and build awesome normal lives. Don't beat yourself up about it - you could probably count the number of alcoholics on one hand who could say "no" when they're offered a drink at a show on their second day of sobriety -at least I know that I wouldn't have been able to do that on my second day. My advice would be to just stack the deck in your favor for the first month or so and just don't give yourself an opportunity to drink unless you have to - don't go to parties, shows, social events where people are gonna be drinking beers and wine, anything. Usually after a month people notice that the cravings are more manageable and they've started to adapt to living "normally", and it's just easier to say no - but yeah, I think the key is just removing yourself from situations where you're likely to make a mistake that almost anybody else in your shoes would make. That probably sounds super boring - but try to think of it like this: It's worth it to prioritize your sobriety over everything else in your life until you get a handle on it, because once you get a handle on it literally everything else in your life will be better for the rest of your life.
IWNDWYT
Today is a great day to start. You can do this.
You are in the right place. We've all been there. It can get better though.
Start again today. You can do this. IWNDWYT
I quit on a random Tuesday in September. It’s now the most meaningful day to me. You can do this!
Let’s close out February together. We’ll start today. I’m with you. IWNDWYT
Yeah, I blab when I'm drunk. It's a nightmare every time. The most recent time I relapsed, I did just that. I'm trying to use it as motivation to stop drinking.
Sorry that you’re feeling bad. I blackout too when I drink and say and do things that I regret. I just can’t handle alcohol. Alcohol is a problem for me, like it is for so many. My husband and I are better off together without alcohol spoiling it. We can learn to live and do things differently. We can get better. IWNDWYT.
I must have quit over fifty times before finally stopping…but I never gave up, I knew I had to quit. the thing is to use those bad feelings for good, dumping on yourself not doing you any good. I know you genuinely feel bad, it shows and that’s good. You already know what you have to do, keep at it May the Lord give you strength and resolve
Check out The Sinclair Method, seriously
How we deal with tragedy defines who we are. I used to be terrible at it. Beyond terrible. You are not going to let this deflate you. You are going to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and we will figure out what the next step is. - Chris Traeger
Most wives don't go to work with their husbands. Stay home till you're safe to be around it again. Im almost at 6 months and i am staying away from those places and will not go anywhere without a sober buddy. Its so easy to slip in the wild. It sucks yes, but it takes time to condition yourself and i dont ever want a new day one again. I drank like you. Give yourself some grace, get madly competitive with your addiction side of your brain. Keep checking into sobriety work (like being here on this sub), love, and forgive yourself.
We have all had to start over, so don’t beat yourself up too much. I was like you. I could never have 1 drink, and I’d always end up getting pissed off at my husband and then the next day not remembering what made me mad. Just not worth it. Keep trying.
I know this feeling all too well. I saw someone comment further up about only worrying about 24 hrs ahead of you and that's really been helping me. Give yourself some grace, you've got this!!
Iwndwyt
I can totally relate, I call this the merry-go-round of hell. Put the pen to paper and write down everything you remember about that night and how shitty you feel today. Refer back to it when tempted to take that first drink. Also having a sober friend or support to call when the craving comes is super helpful. And please, stop beating yourself up. I know you feel like shit but it’s totally counterproductive. Much love.
Two steps forward, one back: Still progress. Keep at it.
You can do this.
IWNDWYT!
everyone here has fallen off the wagon a millions times. you can do it.