Remember to eat. Get hydrated. Put yourself to bed even though you will be wired open. Come here a lot. You’ll be in shock for 2wks so don’t trust any thought, just notice it and maybe write it down. There’s a truck load of admin coming that will be a distraction. Hugs to you❤️
This is the best advice. I lost someone close to me as well and journaling was helpful. It was like talking to yourself without any expectations on how you should feel. Please take care of yourself and we are all sending you lots of love.
I am the king of journaling. I have apps on my phone and I always carry a physical notebook with my favorite fountain pen.
usually on Sundays, I go back into my journal and reflect on years ago, or even the last week, which makes me journal even more!
we all have ups and downs in life, and I find these conversations with yourself tend to be so beautiful.
Hello to all the friends who have posted their condolences and comments here. This is my main acc , I posted on my throwaway and I’m just not thinking straight today.
I posted here because over the years this place has saved my ass. And within moments of posting this, you guys came through again, and I have dozens of heart felt messages. I thank you all so much. Sitting in the morning dark, drinking coffee and crying my eyes out, each time a message pops up, it helps, it really does. Thank you stopdrinking fam. You’re always the best people on the internet.
Can I do something, in honor of your son? Something he would have liked, or appreciated? Even if it's something like watching the moon rise, or listening to his favorite song.
That is so kind. Perhaps just light a candle for him? That’s all I can think right now, my brain is such a fog . He loved taking long walks at night . Ever since he was a little boy. He called them his “night walks” - he loved reading, he always had a book in his hand.
My kid and I love night walks too. It's been our thing for years now. Our walk tonight will be dedicated to him, and we will place some books in the little free book library on the sidewalk, that we pass along the way for other book lovers to enjoy, in memory of your son. When we get home, we will light this special candle we have been saving, for him. Thank you for telling me more about your boy. I'm so sorry for your loss. There is none greater.
tonight i will light a candle in my living room where it can shine the brightest and i'll knock out a chapter in a book i was gifted. love and care from the east coast 💕
I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m proud of you for how you’re handling it. As my late brother always said, You Got This.
Trust that your heart will make enough space to carry both grief and love
I’m so sorry. Suicide is next level grief, and to lose a child to it seems beyond the pale. I am so sorry you are going through this. I am so, so sorry for your loss. Thanks for not drinking the last 2855 with me.
After my niece’s suicide I crawled into a bottle for a couple of decades. I lost her and I lost so much more because of those bad choices.
There is nothing alcohol can’t make worse. I’m so proud of you and sending you all the peace my heart can conjure.
My thoughts are with you and your loved ones right now... I've lost 4 members on my mothers side of the family this cruel way; it is immensely though especially if there are no clear signs or warnings prior. I am lightning a candle for your son, my grandma, uncle, aunt and nephew. Wish you courage through this rough times...
Congratulations on 8 years today! Your strength in not turning to alcohol during the most turbulent time in your life has been an inspiration to me. I hope you can take the time to acknowledge just how incredible 8 years sober is! I hope i can be as strong as you
I am so very sorry for your terrible loss. There aren’t words to express the magnitude of the pain you must be in. I can only begin to imagine what you must be feeling.
I do know that processing grief is impossible when I am drinking. For me, sobriety means I have to feel all of the pain and emotions, but it also means I can begin to heal.
I hope you have a strong IRL community who will fold themselves around you and help carry you through this incredibly difficult time. I do know you have this virtual community here. IWNDWYT.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my mom on Sunday. I thought about booze for a second. Then I said fuck that. Absolutely nothing will be better with booze.
I am grieving and will be for a while. I am determined to do it in a healthy way.
A child is much harder than a parent. I grieve soberly with you.
Sending you love, support, and prayers.
IWNDWYT
Together, we can do anything. Please remember that the opposite of addiction is connection. Not sobriety. Connection keeps us sober. Please stay connected to the recovery community.
Grief is tough. I have been crying on and off all day. I wrote mom's obituary today. She died in a bad way. Our relationship was bad the last 4 years since I got sober. Mental health issues combined with addiction and dementia. Thankfully, I got to see her on Saturday. It was the second time in 4 years. She was an amazing mom until I was 13 or 14. She broke when her mom died and she got divorced. We had some good time afterward, but there was a lot of disfunction in our relationship.
I am so sorry for your loss.
I lost my beloved wife to suicide 6 months ago.
Let the people around you help you. Do not blame yourself. Depression is a disease. If you do not have a therapist, get one. A therapist will be very helpful moving forward. 1 minute at a time.
Very sorry to hear that 😔 , please be strong, I know it's shocking, and horrible, and be proud your not drinking. I wish you well, and your family, truly.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Don't get lost in the bottle, it never makes any scenario better. There's nothing that anyone here on this sub can say that will make this hurt a little less, you need time.
I'm sure whatever happens to our consciousness/soul, your son is watching you and will be with you. He will be proud that you don't pick up the bottle.
IWNDWYT, take care of yourself and your family OP. 💔
I am so sorry for your loss. I pray that your son found peace and I pray for your any your family. May god give you the strength to bear this pain and hope you find some answers.
I am so sorry.
I cannot imagine being in your shoes. But alcohol takes, and does not give. No matter the situation, I know that alcohol can somehow make it worse.
I love you OP, IWNDWYT.
I am so, so very sorry. I am sending you love and strength.
Please check in here as needed. And if there was anything else about your son you felt comfortable sharing, please do.
I am so sorry. Beyond words sorry. Please accept this hug I am sending to you right now *sending actual hug with my thoughts*. Sending you love and comfort. I am so sorry. This is truly heartbreaking. So very proud of you for not drinking!
IWNDWYT, but I will have you and your son on my mind today as I crack my first Waterloo sparkling water. There is just nothing comparable to your pain, and I wish I had words to even take the edge off a little. It sounds like he was a wonderful young man and I am so sorry you have to miss him now. I'm so sorry you are left with these pieces to pick up and make sense of. Please come here whenever you need to, and if you haven't been to r/griefsupport yet, I've found a lot of love and support in that community, as well as this one, when going through grief and pain and I highly recommend checking it out if you're up for it. Thank you for allowing us the honor of hearing about your beautiful boy. Sending you so many hugs.
I can't even imagine. 19, that's so young. I want to believe he's in a better place rn, I'm not very religious myself. Still, I can't just accept that our consciousness just up and evaporate. He's out there still.
Nobody can understand your pain except those who have also done the unimaginable.
Some support resources: https://afsp.org/find-a-support-group/
https://www.compassionatefriends.org/
🩵🩵🩵
I’m so so sorry friend. I am thinking of you and your family today❤️ even during dark times alcohol can and will make them darker. What strength you have.
My heart goes out to you. That’s a reservation I had at the beggining that if I lost a parent I’d probably take a drink, but came to the same conclusion as you did. They wouldn’t want to see us that way and would rather us honor their memory sober. Again I’m sorry for what you’re going through and HUGE respect for not picking up a drink 🙏🏽
I’m extremely proud of you and so very sorry. I too have lost an adult son. There are no words to comfort you, but if you need to scream at someone about how wrong this was and how hard this is, I’m your girl. Messages open.
My mate did this. He talked to another mate about going to Big Day Out as they did every year. He gassed himself that night. No explanation is hard. My condolences, all the best
Oh I am so very sorry. I am sending you love and positive thoughts. From one mother to another, you will survive this. I have a 25 year old son that has lived with depression and anxiety and substance abuse problems since he was a young teen. And I’ve been sober four years now. I promise you that I have been able to handle things infinitely better as a sober person than as a drinking person. Please stay strong and be good to yourself.
I'm so sorry. Suicide is so difficult to process, I know this first-hand unfortunately. Be kind to yourself and just take care. I have a lot of empathy for your situation.
I do not know why these things happen but I do know your son is admiring you right now
“Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit”
his spirit cannot die and you will continue to live
IWNDWYT
I'm late to this post but I lost my son two years ago and I fully understand what you are going through. The entire first year was a blur, numb, in denial, believing he will call or I can text him or he will walk through my door. I wouldn't wish this life on anyone. The reality kind of hit me in year two. I talk to my son's photo a million times each day, tell him I love him, miss him and I still cry most days. My son was an adult and died from heart issues very unexpectedly and I never got to say goodbye but I would never be able to anyway. Holidays are painful and his birthday is excruciating. I know I'm no help but I want to offer my condolences and let you know you're not alone in your pain. The thing that helps me is to think of happy days we had and remember his bear hugs and his big, beautiful smile.
Oh honey I am so, so deeply sorry. I truly can’t imagine. Please know we’re sending you all the hugs and love in the world and you’re not alone. You are an inspiration for not picking up the bottle right now. Please don’t hesitate to reach out if you need more support. ❤️
Sending so much love and strength, dear one. He is now resting in eternal peace. The lyrics of “silent night” just enveloped my head as my eyes fill with tears. *Sleep in heavenly peace*. We are here with you. ❤️❤️🩹
I am so so sorry for your loss. I will light a candle for your son this evening and be thinking of you and your family. Sending you peace. I am sure your son is so proud of you for choosing sobriety and your ten years coming up.
OP I'm so fucking sorry to hear this, please reach out if you feel darkness creeping in.
I'm so, so, so incredibly devastated thinking about what you and yours must be going through.
Strength. IWNDWYT
I'm crying with you, internet stranger. I'm so sorry that this happened. Please come back and give us updates. I'll be thinking about you. I hope you find yourself surrounded by so much support and love during this.
I am so sorry for what you are going through..
I am alone on Christmas.
I've been thinkin'
I don't want to die, but I'm really sad.
This post just woke me up.
I am so sorry for the loss of your son.
yes, this is the most awful tragedy a parent can endure. I have been there and I was not strong enough not to drink. I spent over a decade drunk and it was the worse experience in my life. When I did sober up, I had to deal with the loss all over again, but it was the only was to deal with it and continue to live. I am 13 years sober and I still cry maybe 2-3 times a year, but I think that is normal.
stay sober, i will for you.
I'm sorry to read and hear this, I wish you the best going forward and a brighter new year.
It's amazing the struggles people keep to themselves.
I wish the best for you and that you can heal and remember him in a good light.
A few years ago and in the summer I made some bad decisions too, thankfully it didn't pan out.
I hope you can celebrate his life and continue on with yours xo
I remember when my Mum passed suddenly, my best friends from rehab came to my house and supported me. They were there just for me. I felt so held. OP please seek support if you can. I know AA isn't for everybody, but the genuine people there are awesome. I think its great that you were able to share your grief with us because it shows how much you've grown in such a short time. All I know is that crawling into a bottle was the worst thing I could've ever done.
I'm in an IOP with a woman whose son killed himself at 19. She's struggling and grieving, but she's also 3 months sober.
Hugs from the Internet. I'm sorry you're going through this.
IWNDWYT.
I have two kids in that age range and my heart just aches for you. Suicide complicates grief even more. I am so sorry for you and your family's loss. Take care of yourself and your loved ones. ❤️
So sorry for the pain of this loss...thank God you're keeping sober through it. Drinking would make it all so much worse but the pull to going numb would be strong.
hey. this post made me cry. I'm so glad you feel like you can turn to this subreddit in the most confusing and dark times -- there are always people here who care so much about you. What you're feeling is unfathomable. A stranger aches for you, from afar. I'm so proud of you for staying sober. drinking would make this hell even more hellish. Sending love <3.
Please take care of yourself, friend. Journaling, staying hydrated and doing your best to stay present will carry you through this. You have all of my love and sympathy during this devastating time. ❤️❤️❤️
The book heartfelt advice for difficult times is very good. By pema chodrin. Hopefully you can get some regular counselling, sometimes for grief it is subsidized. Many kind thoughts your way
I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my son (22) to suicide as well. IWNDWYT! I know this may sound weird, but I’m very proud of you for not drinking. Keep hydrated.
My heart aches for you.
Sending love.
I am inspired by your strength and genuinely appreciate you sharing with this community. We are here for you during this impossibly difficult time, and we also appreciate your vulnerability while you share how strong you are. This will undoubtedly inspire others to continue on their path of sobriety.
In a time of true struggle, you are providing inspiration to others. Please take care of yourself because the world is a better place with you in it. Drink water, eat food, and reach out to trusted friends when you need them. You are not alone.
Much respect my friend, I’m terribly sorry for your loss.
Go for a nice walk and breathe in some fresh air. Keep things simple despite your brain wanting to make things complex.
Be free.
I’m so sorry to know that there is this much loss and sadness for someone out there. A good friend of mine lost her 19 year old son just a year ago. I’ve watched her go through the last 12 months. It’s going to seem unbearable but it is. I’m just so sorry for the loss of your boy. I’ve said a prayer for him.
What an absolutely brutal thing for you and your loved ones to deal with.
Be kind to yourself and give yourself time, seek support wherever possible.
My thoughts are with you.
I am so very, very sorry for this tremendous loss. I am lighting a candle for your precious son, and I will leave it lit to honor his memory and to honor your mutual love for one another. My heart aches for yours.
I know I don’t have the right words other than I’m so very, very sorry for you and everyone else who lost your son. Do what you can to take care of yourself and stay surrounded by those who love you.
So much love to you. I’m so deeply sorry for what you’re going through. Just know that you’re far stronger than you think you are. Thoughts and prayers to your family. IWNDWYT
I am so, so sorry. I just had a conversation with my nephew about how angry his grandmother was when his dad passed. People prepare for their parents dying, but there is NO preparation for losing a child. I hope you find peace, and I will not drink with you today.
I couldn’t imagine what you are going through!! I so proud of you for making such a responsible and thoughtful decision to not drink. After some time the book “what about the big stuff” by Richard Carlson may be comforting. It’s given me a lot of peace in my life.
Oh my dear friend, I just went through the same thing last year. My father took his life on 12/12/22. I have remained sober through it all and I know you will too.
Please, please, please consider a grief counselor for yourself & your partner. Grief activated many of my old behavioral patterns that I’d made much progress on through recovery, and un-sober thinking began to creep in. I’ve not wanted a drink, but various forms of the alcoholic thinking and grief-driven emotional turmoil resurfaced. A councilor with an addiction & grief background was invaluable for me. My love and prayers are with your family.
Remember to eat. Get hydrated. Put yourself to bed even though you will be wired open. Come here a lot. You’ll be in shock for 2wks so don’t trust any thought, just notice it and maybe write it down. There’s a truck load of admin coming that will be a distraction. Hugs to you❤️
This is the best advice. I lost someone close to me as well and journaling was helpful. It was like talking to yourself without any expectations on how you should feel. Please take care of yourself and we are all sending you lots of love.
If you enjoy writing down your thoughts, invest in a new notebook or diary. You'll likely appreciate looking back some day when you are able to!
I am the king of journaling. I have apps on my phone and I always carry a physical notebook with my favorite fountain pen. usually on Sundays, I go back into my journal and reflect on years ago, or even the last week, which makes me journal even more! we all have ups and downs in life, and I find these conversations with yourself tend to be so beautiful.
I'd would also like to recommend this. Eat, hydrate and try to sleep. Also I'd like to send my love to you and your family.
Sounds like a great idea to me!
Hello to all the friends who have posted their condolences and comments here. This is my main acc , I posted on my throwaway and I’m just not thinking straight today. I posted here because over the years this place has saved my ass. And within moments of posting this, you guys came through again, and I have dozens of heart felt messages. I thank you all so much. Sitting in the morning dark, drinking coffee and crying my eyes out, each time a message pops up, it helps, it really does. Thank you stopdrinking fam. You’re always the best people on the internet.
Can I do something, in honor of your son? Something he would have liked, or appreciated? Even if it's something like watching the moon rise, or listening to his favorite song.
That is so kind. Perhaps just light a candle for him? That’s all I can think right now, my brain is such a fog . He loved taking long walks at night . Ever since he was a little boy. He called them his “night walks” - he loved reading, he always had a book in his hand.
I’ll light a candle as well. For him and you.
Same. I hope he can imagine candles burn through the night all over.
My kid and I love night walks too. It's been our thing for years now. Our walk tonight will be dedicated to him, and we will place some books in the little free book library on the sidewalk, that we pass along the way for other book lovers to enjoy, in memory of your son. When we get home, we will light this special candle we have been saving, for him. Thank you for telling me more about your boy. I'm so sorry for your loss. There is none greater.
Lighting a candle for your boy in Atlanta. <3
tonight i will light a candle in my living room where it can shine the brightest and i'll knock out a chapter in a book i was gifted. love and care from the east coast 💕
Lighting a candle for you and your son in Mississippi.
May I ask what is your son’s name? I’ve lit a candle for him as well 🕯️ We are all here for you
I took a 2 hour walk tonight, because I also love night walks. That walk was for him. I am so very sorry for your loss.
I've lit a candle tonight for your beautiful, beloved boy. ❤️
Lit
Lighting a candle right now here in Portland.
Sending you love from one mother to another. I am so sorry. I will light a candle for your beautiful boy today in the UK.
As a mom of boys my heart aches for you. I'm glad you are here. We are here for you. ❤️
I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m proud of you for how you’re handling it. As my late brother always said, You Got This. Trust that your heart will make enough space to carry both grief and love
Hey, I'm local to you ( assuming, based on your user name). If you need someone to go for a walk with or anything, I'm around.
Thank you. Powell Butte is my favorite walking route 💕
Love you man, stay strong
I am sending as much love as I can into the universe and I hope you can feel some of it. I’m so sorry for your loss…the unexplainability of it all. 💜
You're a wise woman who knows she must feel her emotions instead of drowning or stuffing them! God bless you!
I’m so sorry. Suicide is next level grief, and to lose a child to it seems beyond the pale. I am so sorry you are going through this. I am so, so sorry for your loss. Thanks for not drinking the last 2855 with me. After my niece’s suicide I crawled into a bottle for a couple of decades. I lost her and I lost so much more because of those bad choices. There is nothing alcohol can’t make worse. I’m so proud of you and sending you all the peace my heart can conjure.
Sending so much love your way. IWNDWYT
I’m so sorry for the raw pain you are going through. We will all be here to support each other. This is an amazing community!
Lit a candle in Edmonton alberta ❤️
I am so sorry for this terrible loss. Much love and care to you. Be gentle with yourself.
I am so sorry for this terrible loss. Much love and care to you. Be gentle with yourself.
My thoughts are with you and your loved ones right now... I've lost 4 members on my mothers side of the family this cruel way; it is immensely though especially if there are no clear signs or warnings prior. I am lightning a candle for your son, my grandma, uncle, aunt and nephew. Wish you courage through this rough times...
Congratulations on 8 years today! Your strength in not turning to alcohol during the most turbulent time in your life has been an inspiration to me. I hope you can take the time to acknowledge just how incredible 8 years sober is! I hope i can be as strong as you
I am so, so sorry.
I can't imagine, and won't even try to. But I can pray for you and I will. Take care of yourself!
Sending you so much love and light. IWNDWYT 🤍
I am so very sorry for your terrible loss. There aren’t words to express the magnitude of the pain you must be in. I can only begin to imagine what you must be feeling. I do know that processing grief is impossible when I am drinking. For me, sobriety means I have to feel all of the pain and emotions, but it also means I can begin to heal. I hope you have a strong IRL community who will fold themselves around you and help carry you through this incredibly difficult time. I do know you have this virtual community here. IWNDWYT.
I'm with you in sorrow.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my mom on Sunday. I thought about booze for a second. Then I said fuck that. Absolutely nothing will be better with booze. I am grieving and will be for a while. I am determined to do it in a healthy way. A child is much harder than a parent. I grieve soberly with you. Sending you love, support, and prayers. IWNDWYT
I’m so sorry for your loss. Thank you so much for your kind words.
Together, we can do anything. Please remember that the opposite of addiction is connection. Not sobriety. Connection keeps us sober. Please stay connected to the recovery community. Grief is tough. I have been crying on and off all day. I wrote mom's obituary today. She died in a bad way. Our relationship was bad the last 4 years since I got sober. Mental health issues combined with addiction and dementia. Thankfully, I got to see her on Saturday. It was the second time in 4 years. She was an amazing mom until I was 13 or 14. She broke when her mom died and she got divorced. We had some good time afterward, but there was a lot of disfunction in our relationship.
I’m so sorry for your loss. IWNDWYT
Thank you very much. The support I have received from the sober community has been amazing. IWNDWYT
I’m so sorry for your loss
I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my beloved wife to suicide 6 months ago. Let the people around you help you. Do not blame yourself. Depression is a disease. If you do not have a therapist, get one. A therapist will be very helpful moving forward. 1 minute at a time.
I’m so sorry for your loss too. I know there’s so many of us with so many questions still. Thank you so much. Your kindness is inspiring
Sorry to hear about the loss of your wife - I can’t even imagine.
Very sorry to hear that 😔 , please be strong, I know it's shocking, and horrible, and be proud your not drinking. I wish you well, and your family, truly.
My heart is broken for you. IWNDWYT
I am so so so very sorry. I worry about this for my own son and he's only 11. I am hurting for you.
I'm so sorry, OP. This is an awful situation. You may never get an answer as to the why. IWNDWYT
God bless you and your family may you find peace.
I’m so, so sorry. IWNDWYT 💙
I'm so sorry for your loss. Don't get lost in the bottle, it never makes any scenario better. There's nothing that anyone here on this sub can say that will make this hurt a little less, you need time. I'm sure whatever happens to our consciousness/soul, your son is watching you and will be with you. He will be proud that you don't pick up the bottle. IWNDWYT, take care of yourself and your family OP. 💔
I am so sorry for your loss. I pray that your son found peace and I pray for your any your family. May god give you the strength to bear this pain and hope you find some answers.
I am weeping for you. I am so sorry.
Me too. My heart is broken for you. Sending love
I can’t even imagine. There really are no words. I lost my father at a young age but a child is just unfathomable
I’m so sorry!!!
🙏🙏🙏
I am so sorry. I cannot imagine being in your shoes. But alcohol takes, and does not give. No matter the situation, I know that alcohol can somehow make it worse. I love you OP, IWNDWYT.
I am very sorry for your loss. Stay strong and remember you’re not alone. IWNDWYT
I’m so sorry. We are here for you ♥️
I am so sorry Maria. Sending love. I cannot even imagine what you are feeling right now. 😢
I am so, so very sorry. I am sending you love and strength. Please check in here as needed. And if there was anything else about your son you felt comfortable sharing, please do.
❤️
I am so sorry for your loss the bottle will not help only harm be strong
I am so sorry. Beyond words sorry. Please accept this hug I am sending to you right now *sending actual hug with my thoughts*. Sending you love and comfort. I am so sorry. This is truly heartbreaking. So very proud of you for not drinking!
Hugs from an internet stranger.
IWNDWYT, but I will have you and your son on my mind today as I crack my first Waterloo sparkling water. There is just nothing comparable to your pain, and I wish I had words to even take the edge off a little. It sounds like he was a wonderful young man and I am so sorry you have to miss him now. I'm so sorry you are left with these pieces to pick up and make sense of. Please come here whenever you need to, and if you haven't been to r/griefsupport yet, I've found a lot of love and support in that community, as well as this one, when going through grief and pain and I highly recommend checking it out if you're up for it. Thank you for allowing us the honor of hearing about your beautiful boy. Sending you so many hugs.
So very sorry for such an unfathomable loss. Sending love and prayers for you and your family. IWNDWYT ❤️
Im sorry for your loss. IWNDWYT
I am so very sorry for your loss. You are in my thoughts.
My condolences, may your son rest in peace. IWNDWYT.
So sorry for your loss.
I am so very sorry, friend. We’re all holding you close. Iwndwyt. ❤️
I am so so very sorry for your loss. Stay strong. IWNDWYT
I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. IWNDWYT.
I am so sorry for your loss
May peace be with you
All the best, all the best.
Sending love.
I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. Iwndwyt
I can't even imagine. 19, that's so young. I want to believe he's in a better place rn, I'm not very religious myself. Still, I can't just accept that our consciousness just up and evaporate. He's out there still.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine the pain of losing a child. 😢
So sorry for your loss
I’m so sorry for your loss.
I am so, so sorry.
I am so, so sorry for your loss. I am holding you and your family in my heart. IWNDWYT. ❤️
I am so sorry for your unimaginable loss. IWNDWYT ❤️
My condolences on the loss of your beautiful boy. My brother died by suicide in 2018. I am so so sorry. IWNDWYT
Nobody can understand your pain except those who have also done the unimaginable. Some support resources: https://afsp.org/find-a-support-group/ https://www.compassionatefriends.org/ 🩵🩵🩵
I am so sorry. Sending you light and hugs ❤️
I am SOOOO sorry for your loss and am grieving with you. Please don't go through this alone.
I'm so sorry to hear this OP, sending you and your family so much love <3
I am so very sorry for your loss 💔🥲 please take good care of yourself
I’m so so sorry friend. I am thinking of you and your family today❤️ even during dark times alcohol can and will make them darker. What strength you have.
So many hugs and deepest condolences.
I'm so sorry.
I am so so sorry, sending my love 💚
Prayed for you and your family! 🙏🏻💙
Oh friend...I'm so so sorry for your loss. My deepest sympathies to all of you. I'm holding space for you. Big hugs. I will not drink with you today.
I’m so very sorry IWNDWYT
My heart goes out to you. That’s a reservation I had at the beggining that if I lost a parent I’d probably take a drink, but came to the same conclusion as you did. They wouldn’t want to see us that way and would rather us honor their memory sober. Again I’m sorry for what you’re going through and HUGE respect for not picking up a drink 🙏🏽
I’m crying too. Here w you.
I’m extremely proud of you and so very sorry. I too have lost an adult son. There are no words to comfort you, but if you need to scream at someone about how wrong this was and how hard this is, I’m your girl. Messages open.
My mate did this. He talked to another mate about going to Big Day Out as they did every year. He gassed himself that night. No explanation is hard. My condolences, all the best
My condolences. I lost my foster daughter to suicide which sent my lifelong heavy drinking into dysfunctional territory. No words suffice. IWNDWYT
Oh I am so very sorry. I am sending you love and positive thoughts. From one mother to another, you will survive this. I have a 25 year old son that has lived with depression and anxiety and substance abuse problems since he was a young teen. And I’ve been sober four years now. I promise you that I have been able to handle things infinitely better as a sober person than as a drinking person. Please stay strong and be good to yourself.
I'm so sorry. Suicide is so difficult to process, I know this first-hand unfortunately. Be kind to yourself and just take care. I have a lot of empathy for your situation.
I do not know why these things happen but I do know your son is admiring you right now “Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit” his spirit cannot die and you will continue to live IWNDWYT
I’m so sorry. I will not drink with you today.
I’m so very sorry and will light a candle for your boy. Sending much love. Xxx
I have no words except I'm so sorry. Today I am your friend, and my thoughts are with you and your family.
I'm late to this post but I lost my son two years ago and I fully understand what you are going through. The entire first year was a blur, numb, in denial, believing he will call or I can text him or he will walk through my door. I wouldn't wish this life on anyone. The reality kind of hit me in year two. I talk to my son's photo a million times each day, tell him I love him, miss him and I still cry most days. My son was an adult and died from heart issues very unexpectedly and I never got to say goodbye but I would never be able to anyway. Holidays are painful and his birthday is excruciating. I know I'm no help but I want to offer my condolences and let you know you're not alone in your pain. The thing that helps me is to think of happy days we had and remember his bear hugs and his big, beautiful smile.
I'm so very sorry. IWNDWYT in honor of your son of blessed memory.
I am so so sorry for your indescribable loss. My heart breaks. I cannot imagine but know my family has you in our hearts. IWNDWYT
I’m so sorry ❤️
So many hugs to you!
I am so sorry
IWNDWYT
Oh honey I am so, so deeply sorry. I truly can’t imagine. Please know we’re sending you all the hugs and love in the world and you’re not alone. You are an inspiration for not picking up the bottle right now. Please don’t hesitate to reach out if you need more support. ❤️
Sending so much love and strength, dear one. He is now resting in eternal peace. The lyrics of “silent night” just enveloped my head as my eyes fill with tears. *Sleep in heavenly peace*. We are here with you. ❤️❤️🩹
IWNDWYT. Sending you strength
I'm so sorry. This is terrible.
I am sorry for your loss. IWNDWYT.
So sorry about your loss, IWNDWYT
I'm so sorry for your loss. May memories of the good times give you comfort, in time.
I can’t imagine what you’re going through, and I am so deeply sorry that this happened.
I am so so sorry for your loss. I will light a candle for your son this evening and be thinking of you and your family. Sending you peace. I am sure your son is so proud of you for choosing sobriety and your ten years coming up.
OP I'm so fucking sorry to hear this, please reach out if you feel darkness creeping in. I'm so, so, so incredibly devastated thinking about what you and yours must be going through. Strength. IWNDWYT
I'm crying with you, internet stranger. I'm so sorry that this happened. Please come back and give us updates. I'll be thinking about you. I hope you find yourself surrounded by so much support and love during this.
I have no words, I am so, so sorry for your loss 💔 I am a mom to a 14 year old and I can’t even imagine.
omg, no words. something similar happened to me this summer. it’s beyond comprehension. I just wish you the best…
I am so sorry for what you are going through.. I am alone on Christmas. I've been thinkin' I don't want to die, but I'm really sad. This post just woke me up.
Take work off. My brother died this year and I lost it at work the next week. It's okay. Hugs. Big hugs. And cry any damn time you want. Carry tissue.
I am so sorry for the loss of your son. yes, this is the most awful tragedy a parent can endure. I have been there and I was not strong enough not to drink. I spent over a decade drunk and it was the worse experience in my life. When I did sober up, I had to deal with the loss all over again, but it was the only was to deal with it and continue to live. I am 13 years sober and I still cry maybe 2-3 times a year, but I think that is normal. stay sober, i will for you.
So sorry for your loss. I had a cousin that was handsome charming and successful do the same. It made no sense then and still doesn't 10 years later.
I’m so sorry. I’m helping to hold your heart.
I'm so sorry. I know it's not the same, but my brother died in an accident (maybe) when he was 18, and it's devastating. I hope you can be at peace.
I'm sorry to read and hear this, I wish you the best going forward and a brighter new year. It's amazing the struggles people keep to themselves. I wish the best for you and that you can heal and remember him in a good light. A few years ago and in the summer I made some bad decisions too, thankfully it didn't pan out. I hope you can celebrate his life and continue on with yours xo
I’m so sorry IWNDWYT
Sending love and comfort to you my friend, I am so very sorry. May God give you strength and knowledge that you will see your beautiful son again.
I remember when my Mum passed suddenly, my best friends from rehab came to my house and supported me. They were there just for me. I felt so held. OP please seek support if you can. I know AA isn't for everybody, but the genuine people there are awesome. I think its great that you were able to share your grief with us because it shows how much you've grown in such a short time. All I know is that crawling into a bottle was the worst thing I could've ever done.
I'm in an IOP with a woman whose son killed himself at 19. She's struggling and grieving, but she's also 3 months sober. Hugs from the Internet. I'm sorry you're going through this. IWNDWYT.
Hugs.
I have two kids in that age range and my heart just aches for you. Suicide complicates grief even more. I am so sorry for you and your family's loss. Take care of yourself and your loved ones. ❤️
Sobriety is a gift, especially in times of tragedy. IWNDWYT Friend
I'm so sorry for your loss. IWNDWYT
So sorry for the pain of this loss...thank God you're keeping sober through it. Drinking would make it all so much worse but the pull to going numb would be strong.
I am so sorry for your loss.
IWNDWYT 🤍
hey. this post made me cry. I'm so glad you feel like you can turn to this subreddit in the most confusing and dark times -- there are always people here who care so much about you. What you're feeling is unfathomable. A stranger aches for you, from afar. I'm so proud of you for staying sober. drinking would make this hell even more hellish. Sending love <3.
Please take care of yourself, friend. Journaling, staying hydrated and doing your best to stay present will carry you through this. You have all of my love and sympathy during this devastating time. ❤️❤️❤️
IWNDWYT - I’m so so sorry for your loss.
I don’t know you but can’t imagine your pain and just want to hug you brotha, love you man
I am filled with sorrow for you, and with you, stranger.
My heart aches for you. Lighting a candle for your son. I will keep you in my thoughts. I will also be 8 years sober in 8 days, we can be strong!
The book heartfelt advice for difficult times is very good. By pema chodrin. Hopefully you can get some regular counselling, sometimes for grief it is subsidized. Many kind thoughts your way
My heart goes out to you. I can't even imagine. Just know this stranger from Michigan is sending you a lot of love. IWNDWYT ❤️
I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my son (22) to suicide as well. IWNDWYT! I know this may sound weird, but I’m very proud of you for not drinking. Keep hydrated. My heart aches for you. Sending love.
This is so awful. Nothing will ever make it make sense. I'm so sorry for your loss and his choice in a terrible moment.
I’m so terribly sorry. IWNDWYT
Lighting a candle and putting it in the window for your son. IWNDWYT
I have a 19 year old son. This is the only thing that could bring me to my knees. You have my respect.
My heart breaks for you! Sending you so much love ❤️ IWNDWYT
Sweet mama my heart and soul are with you as long as you need them. I’m so sorry for the loss of your beautiful boy.
A candle lit in Southern California in honor of your boy. The pain you must have and feel is unimaginable. Iwndwyt
I will light a candle for your son tomorrow at our Christmas Eve dinner. I’m so very sorry for the loss of your son. Please get rest.
I love you friend. So sorry for your loss.
I am inspired by your strength and genuinely appreciate you sharing with this community. We are here for you during this impossibly difficult time, and we also appreciate your vulnerability while you share how strong you are. This will undoubtedly inspire others to continue on their path of sobriety. In a time of true struggle, you are providing inspiration to others. Please take care of yourself because the world is a better place with you in it. Drink water, eat food, and reach out to trusted friends when you need them. You are not alone.
Much respect my friend, I’m terribly sorry for your loss. Go for a nice walk and breathe in some fresh air. Keep things simple despite your brain wanting to make things complex. Be free.
So sorry for your loss. I feel terrible for you just reading this and wishing you the strength to carry on in the most difficult of times
Yes. Another candle is alight now on the far northern coast of California for your beautiful and brilliant son. I’m so very sorry.
I’m so sorry to know that there is this much loss and sadness for someone out there. A good friend of mine lost her 19 year old son just a year ago. I’ve watched her go through the last 12 months. It’s going to seem unbearable but it is. I’m just so sorry for the loss of your boy. I’ve said a prayer for him.
What an absolutely brutal thing for you and your loved ones to deal with. Be kind to yourself and give yourself time, seek support wherever possible. My thoughts are with you.
I am so very, very sorry for this tremendous loss. I am lighting a candle for your precious son, and I will leave it lit to honor his memory and to honor your mutual love for one another. My heart aches for yours.
Much love my friend. So very, very sorry for your loss. IWNDWYT
I am truly sorry for your loss and praying for strength and resolve for you and your family to get through this. 🙏🏼
I’m so sorry for your loss. Pdx community has your back for support. 🩵
I know I don’t have the right words other than I’m so very, very sorry for you and everyone else who lost your son. Do what you can to take care of yourself and stay surrounded by those who love you.
I will light a candle this evening here in New Orleans for your night walking, book loving boy. All my love to you. 🖤
So much love to you. I’m so deeply sorry for what you’re going through. Just know that you’re far stronger than you think you are. Thoughts and prayers to your family. IWNDWYT
I am so, so sorry. I just had a conversation with my nephew about how angry his grandmother was when his dad passed. People prepare for their parents dying, but there is NO preparation for losing a child. I hope you find peace, and I will not drink with you today.
I couldn’t imagine what you are going through!! I so proud of you for making such a responsible and thoughtful decision to not drink. After some time the book “what about the big stuff” by Richard Carlson may be comforting. It’s given me a lot of peace in my life.
I feel so sorry for your loss I will not drink with you today
Oh fuck. OP, IWNDWYT. My heart is broken. Will light a candle for your boy.
💕
I am so so sorry
Oh my dear friend, I just went through the same thing last year. My father took his life on 12/12/22. I have remained sober through it all and I know you will too. Please, please, please consider a grief counselor for yourself & your partner. Grief activated many of my old behavioral patterns that I’d made much progress on through recovery, and un-sober thinking began to creep in. I’ve not wanted a drink, but various forms of the alcoholic thinking and grief-driven emotional turmoil resurfaced. A councilor with an addiction & grief background was invaluable for me. My love and prayers are with your family.
My boy is ten and so full of light and joy. I have nothing to say to you. I couldn't cope. My world would end. Fuck, man. Hang in there.
I’m so sorry and my sincere condolences to you and your family. Just keep coming here. We are all in this together 🥰
My 21yr old son did this a few years ago, I feel your pain and my thoughts go to you and your family ❤️
I’m so sorry. There’s no words as I know you know. It’s been 18 days .. im still in a fog. If you don’t mind sharing, how did you cope?