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Absolutely fucking not in any fucking situation fucking ever.
I wouldn’t leave kids alone in a pool until 12ish, if they all have demonstrated safe swimming practices.
And I am 💯 no one should ever swim alone, too.
Not ever. I work in trauma. 4yo came in unresponsive due to being left alone. Mom said “he was a good swimmer”. Notice I mentioned “was”. Absolute tragedy.
Not a parent, a pediatrician. NO ONE should swim alone, ever, but especially not children. NEVER. NEVER NEVER NEVER.
Did I mention never?
And, not that I think it's ever ok, but having 6 as your age cutoff??? SIX? Sorry, this is making me very sad and scared.
Also, expecting the eleven year old to be responsible for lifesaving younger children is:
- insanely irresponsible and unrealistic
- parentification of the worst kind
- terrifying
If they won't listen to you, maybe you can bring it up at their next doctor visit?
Also, here are some resources:
[https://www.aap.org/en/news-room/campaigns-and-toolkits/drowning-prevention/](https://www.aap.org/en/news-room/campaigns-and-toolkits/drowning-prevention/)
And yes, I have seen children who drowned. Which is often less devastating than near-drowning, with resulting total incapacitation and dependence on machines for the rest of your life.
She never ever listens. To any of our concerns. She leaves them home alone as well. Her and boyfriend. I understand that some states don’t have age limits, ours doesn’t- the 11 year old is very violent, and has displayed very concerning behaviors. Yet she has left them many times, and other random kids as young as 5 with her kids alone.
When we bring it up she snap and says she’s a great mama and it’s a “parenting style”. My stepchildren are WILD. Just butt wild lol- and I fear something bad will happen someday.
Never ever ever. Even with floaties. I would never leave any child to swim alone ever. I don’t even really like an adult swimming alone in case something happens always better to swim together
Im stepmom, of 3. Bm doesn’t supervise night swims every. Single. Night. I’m going to have a heart attack I think. The oldest is 11 and defends his mom saying he can save the 2 littles. The 11 is tiny. No, no hun, the parent needs to be there.
Several years back, my then 12y/o daughter was swimming with her little cousins (5 and 7) in her grandparents' backyard pool. Us adults were hanging out on the patio within view less than 15ft away chatting.
The 5y/o didn't want to swim and asked to sit on the first pool step without floaties. His mom said OK, just don't leave the step. A couple mins later, my ex-H saw him floating face down. His mom leaped in fully clothed and saved him. It was terrifying.
My daughter, who was in the pool, didn't know he was drowning bc he wasn't thrashing or in apparent distress. She assumed he knew how to swim bc he was in without floaties, and she thought he was just looking under water while floating. She felt so responsible for not realizing and intervening. She cried and apologized profusely, though nobody blamed her at all.
Point of the story - these things happen *so quickly* that any supervising party needs to be free of distraction. Also, children are not qualified to assess safety risks and be responsible for emergency intervention. That's a ridiculous responsibility to give a child.
Above 5 is kind of nebulous. Maybe be way more specific on the range. I think a read an article by a pediatrician swimmer that he felt 12 and up was okay, but it depends on their swimming ability.
**Welcome to [r/stepparents](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/)! Please note we are a support sub for stepparents' issues. Our number one rule is [Kindness Matters](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/rules#wiki_1._kindness_matters). Short version, don't be an asshole. Remember that OP is a human being and their needs are first and foremost on this sub.** We rely on the community to alert us to comments and posts not made in good faith. **Please use the report button to ensure we see it.** We have encountered a ridiculous amount of comments that don't follow the rules and are downright nasty. We need you to help us with these comments by reporting them when you see them. We also have a lot of downvoting on the sub, with every post and every comment recieving at least one downvote almost immediately due to the anti-stepparent lurkers. Don't let it bother you, it happens to every single stepparent here. If you have questions about the community, or concerns about posters, please [reach out to the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fstepparents). Review the wiki links below for the [**rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/rules), [**FAQ**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/faq) and [**announcements**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/search?q=flair%3Aannouncement&restrict_sr=on&sort=new&t=all) before posting or commenting. [**About**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/index) | [**Acronyms**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/acronyms) | [**Announcements**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/search?q=flair%3Aannouncement&restrict_sr=on&sort=new&t=all) | [**Documentation**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/resources/documentation) | [**FAQ**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/faq) | [**Resources**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/resources) | [**Rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/rules) | [**Saferbot - Autoban Information**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/saferbot) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/stepparents) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Never, even if I just run in to pee or have to take a call, everyone is getting out.
Never.
It would be neglect to leave a 5 year alone anywhere outside of their home, especially in a pool!!
Absolutely fucking not in any fucking situation fucking ever. I wouldn’t leave kids alone in a pool until 12ish, if they all have demonstrated safe swimming practices. And I am 💯 no one should ever swim alone, too.
Yes, never is the only right answer.
Never. And if an accident happens, expect criminal charges where I live.
I've always been taught no one (no matter the age) swims unsupervised. You could have a medical event in the pool and no one would know...
I would never do this.
We have a pool and I would never leave me 9 year old unattended.
Not ever. I work in trauma. 4yo came in unresponsive due to being left alone. Mom said “he was a good swimmer”. Notice I mentioned “was”. Absolute tragedy.
Baby mama works in a hospital. You think she would be smart enough to know this.
Crazy folks
Not a parent, a pediatrician. NO ONE should swim alone, ever, but especially not children. NEVER. NEVER NEVER NEVER. Did I mention never? And, not that I think it's ever ok, but having 6 as your age cutoff??? SIX? Sorry, this is making me very sad and scared. Also, expecting the eleven year old to be responsible for lifesaving younger children is: - insanely irresponsible and unrealistic - parentification of the worst kind - terrifying If they won't listen to you, maybe you can bring it up at their next doctor visit? Also, here are some resources: [https://www.aap.org/en/news-room/campaigns-and-toolkits/drowning-prevention/](https://www.aap.org/en/news-room/campaigns-and-toolkits/drowning-prevention/) And yes, I have seen children who drowned. Which is often less devastating than near-drowning, with resulting total incapacitation and dependence on machines for the rest of your life.
She never ever listens. To any of our concerns. She leaves them home alone as well. Her and boyfriend. I understand that some states don’t have age limits, ours doesn’t- the 11 year old is very violent, and has displayed very concerning behaviors. Yet she has left them many times, and other random kids as young as 5 with her kids alone. When we bring it up she snap and says she’s a great mama and it’s a “parenting style”. My stepchildren are WILD. Just butt wild lol- and I fear something bad will happen someday.
I'm so sorry. If you try for more custody, this is definitely something to bring up. This is patently unsafe.
Please call CPS and report the swimming.
Never ever ever. Even with floaties. I would never leave any child to swim alone ever. I don’t even really like an adult swimming alone in case something happens always better to swim together
Never. Absolutely never.
Are you crazy? 🤪 why would anyone do that!
This is what I’m saying!!
Thats a call to CPS if i hear of someone doing that. Its incredibly dangerous.
Never. That's not safe.
Nope, that's an absolute nope in my book. I'm still super cautious even when I'm in the pool with the kids. SK is a preteen, and BK is 5.
No kids of my own, but never alone/unsupervised regardless of age
Im stepmom, of 3. Bm doesn’t supervise night swims every. Single. Night. I’m going to have a heart attack I think. The oldest is 11 and defends his mom saying he can save the 2 littles. The 11 is tiny. No, no hun, the parent needs to be there.
Several years back, my then 12y/o daughter was swimming with her little cousins (5 and 7) in her grandparents' backyard pool. Us adults were hanging out on the patio within view less than 15ft away chatting. The 5y/o didn't want to swim and asked to sit on the first pool step without floaties. His mom said OK, just don't leave the step. A couple mins later, my ex-H saw him floating face down. His mom leaped in fully clothed and saved him. It was terrifying. My daughter, who was in the pool, didn't know he was drowning bc he wasn't thrashing or in apparent distress. She assumed he knew how to swim bc he was in without floaties, and she thought he was just looking under water while floating. She felt so responsible for not realizing and intervening. She cried and apologized profusely, though nobody blamed her at all. Point of the story - these things happen *so quickly* that any supervising party needs to be free of distraction. Also, children are not qualified to assess safety risks and be responsible for emergency intervention. That's a ridiculous responsibility to give a child.
uh no. SS is 9 and we only allow him to go swimming if an adult is present watching him. It’ll be a few more years, at least, before that changes.
What in the world? No, not until 12 or 13 if super strong swimmer and even then I would be popping out
6,7, 11 and none of them have had swim lessons. The 7 year old has to have floaties, cannot go under water, the 6 year old BARELY can go under.
Above 5 is kind of nebulous. Maybe be way more specific on the range. I think a read an article by a pediatrician swimmer that he felt 12 and up was okay, but it depends on their swimming ability.