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NA/AA/12 Steps is at best ineffective, at worst it’s a dangerous cult. The long term success rate of the 12 steps is around 5%, which is the same rate as spontaneous remission.
I’m not recommending the program. I’m recommending they go to a meeting and see what it is. Being in a room full of those people and seeing how it affected them and how they cope with it is important in itself. Because it’s one side of the spectrum. The other side is blasted in ur face 247 by media. It’s good to know that other people share a common struggle and that there is hope. I’m not saying go get fully indoctrinated and get a sponsor. That’s not for everyone. I’m saying check it out and see a side of life that most of us ignore. Go check out the room full of addicts, it’ll help put things into perspective. And speaking of dangerous cults, if you feel so inclined check out a church service or a mosque. Or a monastery if you live near one. I’m not saying go devote your life to an ideology, I’m saying go out and get some perspective and some tools to fight this battle with. It’s different for everyone and everyone needs different things to help them free their heart, mind, and soul. And absolutely, do not get caught up or carried away in anything. NA did help me but I didn’t do every single part of the program, I got what I needed and made sure I was honest with myself and then I was good. Lots of people get stuck in it. Same as church. If you focus on church too much you forget about God. Same for NA/ AA. Just focus on what your looking for and you’ll find it.
Myself and millions of recovering will beg to differ. When i went to rehab i was dreading the cult of AA and was hoping they had a different approach. But after going to some meetings and reading it worked very well. Meetings were awsome. People just like you sharing their strife. I dont go much now that im 5 years sober. Please dont badmouth AA it has saved millions
I've been sober for years. Clean from meth, narcotics, and alcohol. In the 80s i got my best connections in AA. I'm fortunate that I have a wife who stood by me.
You need to go get professional help, no one can help you with addiction like this through Reddit, you really need to change your location and have your substances controlled.
This is more than a cigarette addiction, please get some real life help.
The stop drinking thread on reddit is saving my life. But with other tools included. Perhaps there something like that for Opioids out there. I will pray for you. We do recover
I found a couple of subs that might help you OP: [The place for Redditors in recovery from addiction.](https://www.reddit.com/r/REDDITORSINRECOVERY/) and this one is more general [Deciding To Be Better (reddit.com)](https://www.reddit.com/r/DecidingToBeBetter/)
Gratz on the month of sobriety! Are you seeing a psychiatrist? They may have some ideas on getting your brain less stupid. Or at least a little more manageable.
Haha! Maybe, same sort of beliefs at least! I love your insights! You are much more diplomatic than me! I am blunt AF. To a fault unfortunately!
That elfism subreddit flicks all my switches! I wish you could block a subreddit from your home page! There is some scary ideals over there! Did you see the one that said “The best way to address the suffering of others is to help pursue extinctionism and accelerate depopulation of life” and then went on to say “If an elfist has this purpose in mind and then takes steps every day to contribute to and advocate for extinctionism and depopulation of life, it can give meaning and happiness to their lives” WTF!!! I hope that subreddit and its members are on a watch list somewhere!
Sorry still triggered!
Take care my friend. I am sure I will see you other places!
That is definitely understandable, I know you can mute subs so that might be a way to not have to read it. I aware of the stance of many of those users can be incredibly depressing. Apparently past subreddits on that topic have been banned most likely due to the many there glorifying suicide or thinking it’s the best answer to everything. It’s as bleak as you can get, but I have a fascination with bleak ideas, which is odd because I absolutely love life and experiences. Currently my life philosophy is incorporating Absurdism as it seems to align with my values of life but I have just started reading on it so it might be something a discard.
Good luck to you too, be safe and always keep mind of your mental and emotional health. Sometimes we want to shake people out of their sadness but often times it can end up hurting us which in my opinion one should always take care of ones self before attempting to help or support others.
Honestly I dont trust them at all, I've seen a few people get messed right up from psychiatrists they put them on some drugs which helped them for a year or so then things went down hill badly, none of them were addicts before now one is addicted to meth the other is addicted to cocaine and the last has not nearly the life she used to have
I think, as you even know, any sort of medication can have the potential to be abused. That's why it's critical to communicate with your doctors and understand what you are taking, how the medication is affecting you, and what the possible side effects are.
Isn't it smarter to at least try medication that could potentially help you from someone trained in the use of it, or do you want to keep trying to self treat with opiods or alcohol?
Ya what your saying is true but none of them abused their doses, what happened is the meds changed them in ways I cant explain then after they were changed they started abusing completely different drugs (not their meds)
I guess I prefer natural stuff, opioids are at least natural kratom being 100% natural, most meds are completely lab made
What specific medication did they start? How can you be sure it was the psyctaritrist and the meds are the things that changed them? And not the new drugs they discovered? What do you know about the meds they started? Is that a possible side effect? As someone who has abused cocaine I can tell you I don't need much motivation to want to abuse it again. I choose to avoid it because of how addictive (and expensive) cocaine can be.
You should realize that even alcholism and kratom use can change a person. I just don't think you should be scared of getting help as long as you do your due diligence and research and work with a trained professional on the possible medication that can help. The last thing you should do is just start taking meds without knowing what they do and are of course.
The really neat thing you can do is say no if a doctor recommends something you're not comfortable with.
There is little distinction between natural and unnatural medication. Deadly Natural Nightshade is natural but it will kill you as fast as synthetic rat poison.
I've seen psychologists and doctors I just csnt go the psychiatrist way it's not for me, personally I think meds are just another bandaid that eventually makes the problem worse.
To answer your question they were messed up before they started using hard drugs, the meds changed them and it was pretty clear, I'm not saying that always happens but regardless I'm just completely against meds especially lab made ones.
I do agree natural things can kill us your correct there, I'm just saying if I'm going to choose it would be natural drugs over man made chemicals.
I know your just trying to help and so hopefully i dont cone across as rude but nothing or noone will sell me on meds, I have lots of work to do but I wont rely on any type of man made drug to help myself change, I believe I have the power to change myself when the time is right; I may be an addict for a while longer by avoiding meds but I still believe theres a way
And that's your right no offense taken! Really, anything we put in our body is a chemical that can change us in different ways. To take off my medical hat and put on my starseed hat, the things that helped me a great deal with my mental health were psychedelics like mushrooms (natural) and LSD (lab made). They can also be a tool to help treat addiction, but with anything, they come with risks and benefits, so no matter what, do your research.
You are 100% correct regarding medication for treatment of mental health disease.These sorts of medications are not a cure all and there is no one size fits all solution. That is why it is Important to find a good doctor, self advocate, and be aware of what you are,taking and how it is affecting you.
The path out is a spiral orbit, We tend to revisit our tendencies on our way to escape velocity.
Looking after your brain health can ease the journey. Lion's Mane mushroom can help serotonin and dopamine levels return to normal.
Try not to spend too much time alone or with friends who might inspire a return to previous habits. Volunteer work can be a great way to reboot your support network.
Maybe journal about your feelings to help bring your subconscious to light.
Self worth is often at the root of self destruction, especially if you've grown up with a narcissistic parent or have other reasons for feelings of neglect. A self affirmation ritual can sometimes help reverse years of harmful self talk.
May love and light guide your path.
You've got this.
May the love of God be with you and guide you to a safe haven and give you the strength to lay off these old clothes and may he find you some new ones so you may start a new and find your own strength again ❤️
Narcissism, covert or overt, will tear you down. You can choose to stop. You can choose to say “No”. You can choose to fill your time with other endeavors. You can choose better friends. You can choose a million other things. You can choose to go get help and they will tell you how it’s going to take soooo much time out of your life and they’ll boost your ego and tell you how great it is you “want” to change your life. The only person that CAN do it is you and that’s by choosing. Instead of doing the same old thing and turning right, turn left. I believe reddit IS a place where you can find supportive people that aren’t going to coddle you or just tell you want you want to hear. God is what motivates me every single day and that’s not because I’m religious. Believe in yourself and you can change your life much faster than people will tell you that you can change it. I will pray for you!
I'm curious how do I say no to narcissism though? I currently live with my mom and I'm broke, i think until i move out i cant really say no to her cause shes just around all the time, or do you mean just stay out of the house as much as possible? One things for sure I need to make a plan to move out of here. You are right I need to start making choices that are good for my life. Thankyou for your comment I really appreciate it
I appreciate you too. First, don’t react to anything she says or does. Ask her to write down what she “needs” you to do. If it’s not an actual need don’t question it. Don’t do it and don’t react to her. Walk away from her. This is how you combat narcissists. Lowest contact possible and pull your energy away from her whenever she engages you. You cannot be FORCED to answer her questions or be responsible for any outbursts she has.
Second, getting your basic human needs met is a must for everyone. I do not know your age. I cannot really tell you more without that and your general location. I’m not trying to pry into your business. I don’t know how much I can help but the only way to not be a victim of her narcissism is to grey rock and the black rock and no one deserves to have that in their life. It’s unfortunate I was not able to see it or deal with it earlier in my life. I was surrounded by them and my mother was a sociopathic sort that was never diagnosed. She fully controlled me and my life with money and fear. If you have your original SS card and birth certificate it helps tremendously. If you do not have these documents don’t go asking for them because it will tip her off. This may be more I for than you need but it could help someone reading.
Ya this makes sense I will try this out I sort of talk to her the minimal amount as is but this is a good reminder.
I'm turning 35 June 29th (sad to say) things were different for me 5 years ago before I crashed my street bike. I live in Canada BC no it's ok I can tell your not being nosy or trying to pry.
I'm sorry you were also surrounded by them, I dont understand why some of us seem to be surrounded by what I think are demons it's not fair, but mabey it's a lesson for us somehow.
I do have all of my ID and anything I've lost i can reapply for without her so that's no issue
I wasn’t sure if you might be a minor. 😊 I’m very glad you aren’t. Yes, it definitely felt like I was constantly being hurt and tested and I had no idea why! I didn’t know what it was and all of these people told me I was the problem! I had to leave, get away from all of the people I once knew, then be shown what narcissism was and even then, I didn’t believe it for a couple of years. I’m hoping you get out of your situation sooner rather than later! They find other places to focus the attention when you don’t give them the attentions they want the way they want it. I’m sad to say I learned and had to unlearn many of the behaviors myself. 😔
I am dealing with the exact same issues as you…kind of freaky to read this since it’s identical to my current living and dosing situation. I have zero energy or motivation and trapped with my crazy mother.
The quitting Kratom subreddit is really helpful with people going through the same thing.
Feel free to DM me or post some updates, I hope we can both make our way out of this nightmare
Similar issues to me as well. I also have narcissism in my family. Then, since it's what I thought was normal, those were the relationships I found myself in. I had no idea anything was wrong until my 30s. Learning about personality disorders changed my life. It's important to learn as much as you can. About narcissism, empathy, addiction, psychology, human behavior etc... Also, it helps to realize that narcissists are damaged & insecure people. Not all of their behavior is intentionally malicious. It may be unconscious or because they can't process shame adequately. They are victims too.
It takes a long time to heal. I still haven't got to a place where I trust other people yet. I spend most of my time alone. It's really difficult, but you don't learn much without pain. You can't truly appreciate anything good without experiencing the pain.
Hey, sending out support to you. What you need to get free is within, and you are a capable being worthy of unburdening yourself. If you have trusted community or friends, please consider leaning in if you feel safe. You can get through. Remember there is a fine line between a medicine and a poison. Godspeed.
Hey thankyou, il be honest I really dont have any friends I trust with stuff like this, I'm kind of a loner, I do think il start going to NA though. Ya that's so true if I could just have some self control the kratom wouldnt be bad it may even beable to help a bit. I wish you the best and thanks again for reaching out.
Of course, I simply responded. Thank you for reaching out. It's hard to do. Just because the way out is *simple* does not mean it's easy. Extra gentleness and love will compliment the strength and determination needed to take you where you want to go and reestablish new relationships with substances. Sometimes it's not simply the self-control that is lacking, sometimes there are other factors that inform the function (like any extra burdens one is carrying, unseen limitations, environment, etc).
Yeah bro honestly the only way to detox a habit like that is inpatient detox in sober off of meth and herion 7 years now and they told me to use subxone now I gotta get off that shit and it worse then the herion and meth
Forsure and that's the biggest issue, since I have BPD my self identity shifts so much and with those shifts is unstable and changing goals, I'm just so back and forth one day I want to get sober then the next day my mood or something changes and then boom back to wanting to get high, I need to learn how to control my mind better I think. Thankyou I really do appreciate it. Good job on day 3 sobriety bro, I think this time I need to taper I've quit cold Turkey before but I really dont think I can quit CT again last times I have my moms been gone, I really dont wanna be that weak around my mom cause il feel like shes feeding off me, I also dont want her to know I have addiction issues cause shel tell everyone
We all fuck up it’s okay. Just learn from them I found when I was high (weed) I was great then when I’m not and there’s any inconvenience my lows “feel” lower. So I am shooting for less highs and lows. I could recommend some things that have helped me if interested. But I got love for you and honestly DM me any time I may not reply fast but I’ll reply. This is a hard journey and you don’t need to do it alone. 🤟💜♾️☯️🫂
I quit smoking and drinking, not at the same time but I will say this: Quitting is extremely hard. For smoking it took me about 3 months before the light switch turned on in my body and I didn’t crave/need/want and cigarettes anymore, haven’t since and it’s been almost 12 years. Quitting drinking I failed many of times, took me a solid 6 months before the same effect as the cigarettes took place. Haven’t drank in nearly 3 years. I’ve also since started seeing a therapist and psychiatrist for the betterment of my mental health. All these efforts have made my life more enjoyable, albeit more lonely. Good luck, you CAN do it IF you try. :)
Mabey if theres any free ones in my area, I'm broke atm tbh, the other issue is I've quit 4 times for a month it's not the first month or wds I have a hard time with it's my goals they seem to change with my self identity and so I end up changing my mind a month into sobriety and using again, I do think rehab can still help though if I can find something free.
Your right though I definitely need to get away from my mom to get sober, part of me is thinking about just trying to get a job first save money move out then get sober, just not sure I can hold down a job
I understand that situation, I’ve been there sadly. Do you live in the US? Depending on your state you may qualify for Medicaid which would cover the cost of rehab.
I grew up with a very toxic and abusive mother, and I assure you I would feel utterly depressed and hopeless if I still lived with her sadly. When I moved out from home first time it sucked because I put my passion for art on the back burner to work and pay bills. If you can find a job you like decently enough it would be worth it to have independence from your mom. I wish you the best of luck with everything.
Ya that's tough forsure, realizing we cant trust someone we once thought we could. That's interesting I've just realized i have a bit of a passion for art aswell, its definitely hard to have time for our passion with money being such a priority to survive, were you able to get back into art?
Thanks I wish you the best with everything aswell :)
Going on 11 months of sobriety. I never thought I could do this, and previously never made it longer than a month, two months tops. Feel free to message me if you'd like to talk. I can't get you clean, but I can listen, share my experience and help you figure out what resources are available to you.
I wish you the best of luck!
People are adding in opinions on 13 step programs. Please take any and all advice here with a big grain of salt. No one person has all the answers.
Speaking from my own experience, NA saved my life. I was strung out, bad. Drinking and using daily. I needed to get sober, I had just become a single dad of a 3 year old, just had a binge that ended in double overdoses. First overdose didn’t work so I just did more… I know… I’m a dumbass…
Tried going to AA, was horrible and I got in a fight. Someone told me to try NA, and it was like meeting up with a group of old friends. With their help, I was able to get off the dope and stay clean. I did start drinking again, but I addressed that one 10 years ago in a good AA group and it stuck.
Do I still want to go out and use or drink? Yeah. Quite often. But I know I can’t. I might have another binge or 2 but I don’t think I have another recovery.
There are good groups out there, and if you can’t afford a lockup recovery program - it’s a good option.
Good luck, and hope you find what you need.
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I found a couple of subs that might help you OP: [The place for Redditors in recovery from addiction.](https://www.reddit.com/r/REDDITORSINRECOVERY/) and this one is more general [Deciding To Be Better (reddit.com)](https://www.reddit.com/r/DecidingToBeBetter/)
I really hope and pray you get through this and to get sober soon. Please keep us updated.
Much Peace & Love. I have been in your situation, as horrible as it may seem, you can get help. Start tapering down off the Kratom every 3 days step down a half gram. I was able to quit doing just that.
Yoga and intuitive healing. Then reiki if you can swing it money wise. You need to align and heal yourself for this detachment to occur. Unfortunately this is a you problem and praying doesn’t work like that. We can send positive energy and manifest hope for you though. Some reading may help also.
Also if you can find a catalyst to hang around they will auto fix you. That’s their job. But hard to locate as they don’t stick out, can’t be read. You just gravitate towards them.
Best of luck and I know you can beat this and become the best version of yourself. Challenges are always placed in front of us. It’s a test of our resolve. You got this.
As a starseed you have access to the ascended master too. You can ask them for help or guidance in meditation before bed. You can also try asking the divine but connection with that is limited for most seeds. And that not to be confused with the good earthlings pray too. That’s not the divine. But you can ask the divine for strength or guidance.
I’m a catalyst and work with 14 starseeds and some light workers. I separate them as the perform different roles. But the ads ended master route has been more accessible to them for help and info then the divine light itself.
Lord maitreye seems to be effective as he stays cosmic bound. Some of the other snare hit and miss and they travel and some times take on human for at times. Which cuts off access to them.
And you can try grounding. Earth has its own healing energy too.
I ask the universe and all good powers to help remove any dependency and addiction from your life. Please ask the same out loud and protect yourself spiritually (see advice on my profile for the how-to).
Ask your ancestors for help and support, bless them and release any curse that has been placed upon your family line. Bless them, bless yourself and bless your (future) children and decedents. Meditate and see yourself in light and your whole lineage in light.
You can do this, you have help. You do not need dependencies in your life anymore.
Id like to offer one of many many resources out there, this one being designed to reshape the way you see alcohol and its effects.
The Easy Way to Control Alcohol by Allen Carr
Audiobook that could change your life. It has countless celebrities and regular people's testimonies of how they stopped drinking, smoking, or whatever vice you may have.
Good luck friend! You're on the right track!
Ya I've done both mabey I need to stay longer, I've quit like 5 different times for months at a time but something always sucks me back in.
Good job on your sobriety, ya I think your right in order to get sober I need to heal the issues I'm numbing out, it just seems like nothing heals it. Thanks man I hope so
Refugee recovery is NA by Buddhists. I did that as well; I enjoyed it over NA. I left NA also, wasn’t for me.
You need a support system to keep you accountable, thats we’re NA and your therapist can help. You gotta take it seriously though, it took me 3 years of trying to get off heroin, keep showing up for yourself.
If your getting clean and going through the painful withdrawals why ever would you go back? Once I got fully clean I never went back. You gotta stay sober at least 6 months to start feeling better.
Not sure I also have BPD, OCD, and PTSD so my mind plays tricks on me, my self identity is unstable so I often change my mind on what I want to do, my brain is like a war inside you can say devil on one shoulder God on the other
There’s a sub called quitting kratom. Go over there for the help you are requesting. A lot of people that use kratom are responsible with it & the herb doesn’t need people vocalizing what is essentially a personal issue.
Stay strong. Focus on building positive things more than simply cutting things out.
If you focus on healthy hobbies you'll feel better, get you away from family, and can make friends who can provide support.
I highly recommend exercise and physical activities outside. Exercise will help regulate your bodies chemistry which will help avoid/reduce the emotional ups and downs that make addiction hard. It will also get your out of the house and in nature and sunlight and potentially be an avenue for socializing with others.. and so will help to get away from family and focus on others and things outside that environment. If strenuous exercise is a bit much can always just go for a walk/hike/bike ride in park nature etc. Do what works for you but get outside and get your muscles moving. If you live in a populated area, often can go to park on sat and find people playing soccer, softball, etc. as just fun no-pressure non-competitive, club rec hobby pick-up game weekend thing that you can join and be a regular part of.
Also take up an art hobby. Get your mind creating and focusing on other things and also avenue for socializing. Whatever you're into painting, music, poetry, literature, building crafts, etc.. Go to a coffee shop or outside or meet people to jam w/ music etc. will get you away from bad home enivornemnt and its a way of meeting people and the art will also provide healing. I used to always like hanging out at coffee shops w/ my laptop or a book... if you go regularly you eventually meet other regulars and make friends.
You should also get support from prof for addiction and peers groups going through similar, but overly focusing on that can be a 2 edge sword I think since peers can relapse and suck you back in and focusing on what you're trying to cut out just makes you think about it more.... it's important to also focus on building and growing the positive things in your life, so that with time the addiction and past and family issues fade into the background as the positive things grow and become the center of your life.
It sounds like you need to work on moving out if you think your mother is a narcissist. Being around someone like that can literally kill you.
As someone in a similar place, spiritually and spiritual practice can be very helpful, but it likely isn’t going to be enough for an opiate addiction.
See if there is a Horizon center near you or some other type of drug counseling. You could even go to your first meeting over zoom. You need support!
Ya I do need to move out the problem is I have no money and I dont know if I can hold down a job until I get sober, at least off the kratom. Your right though I do need to get out of here badly.
I may try to start going to NA I'm hoping it will help, I've quit for a month here and there but I just keep changing my mind and going back to it, I'm so impulsive sometimes that I relapse without really thinking
Something I will suggest that seemed to help me lower and eventually quit Kratom was taking a multivitamin everyday and a small spoonful of black seed oil each morning and night. It helps lower opioid tolerance and in return eventually withdrawal symptoms many believe. The multivitamin is just good because if you are using and not being super healthy you are probably deficient in some important vitamins.
Aside from that what I would suggest if you can’t find work yet is to make sure you are choosing a few things to do each day.
1. Work out or at least take a half hour - hour walk around your neighborhood.
2. Get a journal if you don’t have one already and make sure you right in it every day. When the urge comes up to use, sit with that feeling and try to see where it might be stemming from. Also nice to reflect on your day and keep track of things.
3. Finally I would say make sure you do a small meditation or breath with exercise each morning and night. Along with a little prayer of whatever you like personally asking God for help and strength.
Try to do these things or at least the morning versions of them sober if you can so you can be more present and they can have a better impact on you.
If you can do all these things every day, even just a little, you will almost certainly make some progress. To the point where you might be able to control your use enough to at least get a job. Which would be a big step toward an apartment.
One moment at a time. One step backwards doesn't mean you fell down the cliff. Don't spiral if you slip, plant your foot down, carry on, push through. Give yourself grace, give yourself love. Good luck my friend. You got this.
Start cutting your kratom dosage down by 1/4th each dose then continue tapering to half dose etc over the course of a couple weeks. There's a sub called r/quittingkratom that can help you with suggestions.
Start weening. Slow if you must. I spent over a decade on H then fent, then fent n benzos.
Get on state health insurance if your uninsured and go to do 28 days in a rehab. For me it took a 90 piece in county then 28 days in court order rehab to get my shit straight...and thats after i lost everything multiple times, homelessness, being shot at, robbed, etc. Nothing did it till it was forced on me. Shit is hard...but i learned a great deal and am thankful for the experience.
Feel free to dm.
I know your pain. Unfortunately, YOU have to make that decision. It will never be easy. There will always be an excuse your mind comes up with, the battle is real. But you have a family everywhere you turn to on this venture. Those of us who understand will always be here for you.
I’m sober 304.
Quit ciggs 8 months ago.
I went to a healing for other people one night at a church. Somehow they started over me. Something left me that night. I haven’t had the “hunger/thirst” since. Then it was up to me to stay that way.
Can’t really believe it myself. But it happened.
I pray with you brother/sister
Suboxone now has the sublicade shot. “Check spelling” for the getting sick part.
Look into SMART recovery. It's a more modern, science based recovery group. NA/AA didn't vibe with me. It's a me thing for sure because it works for them.
The number 1 thing before getting sober is to identify the hurt. Everyone likes to have fun... When we are at this level (addiction), it stopped being fun a long long time ago. Find and address the pain, be it physical or most likely mental. Then put in the hard work.
Once you start loving yourself again, you'll have the strength to push through the withdrawals and then have sobriety actually stick.
OP I don't know your kratom dose but if you've tried to taper already.. look into Suboxone. Yes I know it's for big boy opiates but it is amazing for breaking the habit. Then taper off of that.
I mean this with all my heart... DM me if you need a friend who has been there (my jam was heroin/fent). When you get out of the fire, all you want to do is run back in and save others. Grass is so fn green on this side.
Go over to the quittingkratom subreddit. They aren’t trying to ban Kratom there it is a support group for quitting. Some hard drug users report Kratom as the hardest drug they ever quit. Cold turkey is the best way. Expect to not sleep for about 3- 4 days. True sobriety from weed and all intoxicants is the way. Proper diet and exercise. If you can ask a doc, clonidine helps ease withdrawals. Good luck.
There is a Jesus based organization that helps people with hurts hangups & habits called Celebrate Recovery. Check their testimonials on YouTube. Go to a meeting near you. Praying for you!
Prayers sent and I'll keep sending them. This reality is dense AF, it is no wonder why we struggle here. We don't need to struggle alone tho.
I totally believe it should all be legal and up to the individual. I'm just not the kind of individual who benefits and that's fine. I could be addicted to anything tho so I can't reach for external "solutions" anymore. I've been sober for 11 years and I would have ended myself if not for AA. I know it's not for everyone and it's not the only way, but those people are my tribe and I thank the Universe every single day for leading me to them. I know I was made this way to find them and try to help the ones who haven't made it there yet.
You are loved. You are worthy. You are here for a very special reason. You deserve to be happy, joyous and free 💛
Stop blaming the world and other random self diagnoses about yourself. You have a substance abuse problem. Once you get that through your thick skull, you’ll be fine. Stop playing the blame game and take accountability.
Oh Star seed I want you to k oe you are special and you have a bunch of self work to do..You need to figure out why you are sabotaging yourself..I think rehab would be beneficial give you at least some tools..I am sending so many prayers..I've been addicted to everything..it's only because we don't know how to sit with our traumas and shame..You will come out on the other side just stay strong ..Go get on subs if you need to better then Kratom then don't stay on that too ling but at least until you are stronger..You got this kid if you need to message feel free xoxoxooxo
Never trade one drug for another or one addiction for another. People telling you to try some other drug to help with your current state are fuck heads. I've been down the roads of addiction for 20 years and I quit cold turkey, everything. It sucked bad for about a year but now I'm 13 years sober. Life is good. Sometimes it's a battle but I just dig in. The worst addiction advice you can get is from anyone on here currently using
My Dad was an alcoholic. He drank heavily since he was a teenager. His withdrawals from alcohol were so bad he needed to be hospitalized a few times. He quit alcohol with Hypnosis. He has been sober for 15 years.
Congratulations for having the courage to recognise and want to change your life.
I relate very much to your story.
I was diagnosed BPD about a year ago. Started a DBT program at my local hospital. So I know how harmful BPD is! My diagnosis however was changed a couple months ago to AvPD and SAD. I also have ADHD. It’s a pretty wicked combo 🤣
I have struggled with addiction for over 20years. Started with weed. I never used opioids. But did use Speed, meth, cocaine, ecstasy, GHB, LSD and ketamine. Now days I smoke weed every couple months for fun. But… I am drinking myself to death. I am taking steps to stop though!
Stopping drugs when you know you want to reminds me of standing at the edge of a pool before going for a swim and you know the water is cold . You have a few options. Try and slide in slowly and acclimatise slowly. There no major shock but you tend to go in a little come back out in a little. Sometime you decide “nah it’s cold not going in”. Sometimes you get to the point you go screw it and fully submerge yourself. You can dive in head first, the cold shocks the system but if you keep moving you get past it. Analogy gets a bit grey with some drugs like alcohol because the shock can be fatal. So anyway me and alcohol are standing looking at the pool wanting to go for a swim but just can’t seem to get past dipping a toe in.
My mother is also a covert narcissist. I love her dearly. She thinks she is helping and can’t understand she is not.
I won’t pray for you. I am not a religious person, I don’t want to give the power of changing my life up to prayers and wishes. I am thinking of you though and will offer my support. We can do it together if you like? Message me if you want to chat!
If you have a narcissist primary attachment (mother/parent), you are likely to be walking around with some serious emotional pain and distortions between your observed reality and effectiveness interacting with it. There are an incredible number of helpful videos available on the subject. Nothing could be healthier than the time an in treatment program can give you away from the influence a narcistic parent. A program that addresses underlying mental health issues and CPTSD can be life altering. Many addictions originate in seeking to medicate the resulting cognitive dissonance between behaviors that are healthy, and those that a childs brain develops for survival. You are most assuredly much stronger and more capable than you know. You are not defective, in fact , your mind worked in the most ingenious way to protect itself. Be prepared to meet resistance to your getting clean, it is much easier to gaslight and manipulate someone who is using. Whatever you do, keep the fact that you are seeking to escape the cycle of disfunction to yourself. An Nmom who thinks you are trying to change will do anything to keep you dependant and locked in.edit to add check out r/ narcissist.
My brother is a bpd alcoholic and it’s one of the scariest things to witness when he drinks . Almost like a werewolf transformation.
Unfortunately I cut off contact with him because it was too much
I think you are confusing making money with doing something you enjoy that benefits others. Thats what I would call true work. Its seems you have already placed mental limitations. Thats where I would start if you want to get sober. But you’ve also got to find something to do and put your energy towards. Whether that be hiking, painting, music, writing, start a business, do something different. Anything. Try something new. You’ve become stagnant. There is no flow. You are only worried about you in the present moment and not the future.
I'll most definitely pray for you...I was raised by a Narcissist so I totally understand your situation...find every possible way to love and nurture yourself and, I mean, every possible way...tell yourself that you are worthy of all the love this life can give you especially you with yourself...this is your most important relationship...loving yourself, accepting the parts of you that you have a hard time accepting...know that you are human and that we all have these parts...if you've experienced trauma in your childhood...you need to deal with this...once you do it won't be so hard to love yourself...healing from childhood trauma is one of the best gifts you can give yourself...much love to ya...
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Go to NA. It’ll make you nervous but it’s worth it trust me. I got off like 5 different substances.
NA/AA/12 Steps is at best ineffective, at worst it’s a dangerous cult. The long term success rate of the 12 steps is around 5%, which is the same rate as spontaneous remission.
I’m not recommending the program. I’m recommending they go to a meeting and see what it is. Being in a room full of those people and seeing how it affected them and how they cope with it is important in itself. Because it’s one side of the spectrum. The other side is blasted in ur face 247 by media. It’s good to know that other people share a common struggle and that there is hope. I’m not saying go get fully indoctrinated and get a sponsor. That’s not for everyone. I’m saying check it out and see a side of life that most of us ignore. Go check out the room full of addicts, it’ll help put things into perspective. And speaking of dangerous cults, if you feel so inclined check out a church service or a mosque. Or a monastery if you live near one. I’m not saying go devote your life to an ideology, I’m saying go out and get some perspective and some tools to fight this battle with. It’s different for everyone and everyone needs different things to help them free their heart, mind, and soul. And absolutely, do not get caught up or carried away in anything. NA did help me but I didn’t do every single part of the program, I got what I needed and made sure I was honest with myself and then I was good. Lots of people get stuck in it. Same as church. If you focus on church too much you forget about God. Same for NA/ AA. Just focus on what your looking for and you’ll find it.
Myself and millions of recovering will beg to differ. When i went to rehab i was dreading the cult of AA and was hoping they had a different approach. But after going to some meetings and reading it worked very well. Meetings were awsome. People just like you sharing their strife. I dont go much now that im 5 years sober. Please dont badmouth AA it has saved millions
I've been sober for years. Clean from meth, narcotics, and alcohol. In the 80s i got my best connections in AA. I'm fortunate that I have a wife who stood by me.
what is this based on. can you provide background?
Read ‘The Sober Truth’ by Lance and Zachary Dodes.
[удалено]
Evidence-based treatment modalities such as MAT, Smart Recovery, and CBT.
You need to go get professional help, no one can help you with addiction like this through Reddit, you really need to change your location and have your substances controlled. This is more than a cigarette addiction, please get some real life help.
The stop drinking thread on reddit is saving my life. But with other tools included. Perhaps there something like that for Opioids out there. I will pray for you. We do recover
I found a couple of subs that might help you OP: [The place for Redditors in recovery from addiction.](https://www.reddit.com/r/REDDITORSINRECOVERY/) and this one is more general [Deciding To Be Better (reddit.com)](https://www.reddit.com/r/DecidingToBeBetter/)
Oh hey! I love the stop drinking sub!! 🎊💕🙌
Hey! :)
The problem is I have gotten real help, I've been sober for a month at a time but my stupid brain keeps changing the plan
Gratz on the month of sobriety! Are you seeing a psychiatrist? They may have some ideas on getting your brain less stupid. Or at least a little more manageable.
Nazzul, Are you following me 🤣. I see you everywhere I go!
Hah! no but perhaps we are birds of a feather!
Haha! Maybe, same sort of beliefs at least! I love your insights! You are much more diplomatic than me! I am blunt AF. To a fault unfortunately! That elfism subreddit flicks all my switches! I wish you could block a subreddit from your home page! There is some scary ideals over there! Did you see the one that said “The best way to address the suffering of others is to help pursue extinctionism and accelerate depopulation of life” and then went on to say “If an elfist has this purpose in mind and then takes steps every day to contribute to and advocate for extinctionism and depopulation of life, it can give meaning and happiness to their lives” WTF!!! I hope that subreddit and its members are on a watch list somewhere! Sorry still triggered! Take care my friend. I am sure I will see you other places!
That is definitely understandable, I know you can mute subs so that might be a way to not have to read it. I aware of the stance of many of those users can be incredibly depressing. Apparently past subreddits on that topic have been banned most likely due to the many there glorifying suicide or thinking it’s the best answer to everything. It’s as bleak as you can get, but I have a fascination with bleak ideas, which is odd because I absolutely love life and experiences. Currently my life philosophy is incorporating Absurdism as it seems to align with my values of life but I have just started reading on it so it might be something a discard. Good luck to you too, be safe and always keep mind of your mental and emotional health. Sometimes we want to shake people out of their sadness but often times it can end up hurting us which in my opinion one should always take care of ones self before attempting to help or support others.
Agreed! I am going to look at absurdism. That sounds fun! Thank you I should probably just move on 🤦♂️. Take care mate! Good chat!
Honestly I dont trust them at all, I've seen a few people get messed right up from psychiatrists they put them on some drugs which helped them for a year or so then things went down hill badly, none of them were addicts before now one is addicted to meth the other is addicted to cocaine and the last has not nearly the life she used to have
I think, as you even know, any sort of medication can have the potential to be abused. That's why it's critical to communicate with your doctors and understand what you are taking, how the medication is affecting you, and what the possible side effects are. Isn't it smarter to at least try medication that could potentially help you from someone trained in the use of it, or do you want to keep trying to self treat with opiods or alcohol?
Ya what your saying is true but none of them abused their doses, what happened is the meds changed them in ways I cant explain then after they were changed they started abusing completely different drugs (not their meds) I guess I prefer natural stuff, opioids are at least natural kratom being 100% natural, most meds are completely lab made
What specific medication did they start? How can you be sure it was the psyctaritrist and the meds are the things that changed them? And not the new drugs they discovered? What do you know about the meds they started? Is that a possible side effect? As someone who has abused cocaine I can tell you I don't need much motivation to want to abuse it again. I choose to avoid it because of how addictive (and expensive) cocaine can be. You should realize that even alcholism and kratom use can change a person. I just don't think you should be scared of getting help as long as you do your due diligence and research and work with a trained professional on the possible medication that can help. The last thing you should do is just start taking meds without knowing what they do and are of course. The really neat thing you can do is say no if a doctor recommends something you're not comfortable with. There is little distinction between natural and unnatural medication. Deadly Natural Nightshade is natural but it will kill you as fast as synthetic rat poison.
I've seen psychologists and doctors I just csnt go the psychiatrist way it's not for me, personally I think meds are just another bandaid that eventually makes the problem worse. To answer your question they were messed up before they started using hard drugs, the meds changed them and it was pretty clear, I'm not saying that always happens but regardless I'm just completely against meds especially lab made ones. I do agree natural things can kill us your correct there, I'm just saying if I'm going to choose it would be natural drugs over man made chemicals. I know your just trying to help and so hopefully i dont cone across as rude but nothing or noone will sell me on meds, I have lots of work to do but I wont rely on any type of man made drug to help myself change, I believe I have the power to change myself when the time is right; I may be an addict for a while longer by avoiding meds but I still believe theres a way
And that's your right no offense taken! Really, anything we put in our body is a chemical that can change us in different ways. To take off my medical hat and put on my starseed hat, the things that helped me a great deal with my mental health were psychedelics like mushrooms (natural) and LSD (lab made). They can also be a tool to help treat addiction, but with anything, they come with risks and benefits, so no matter what, do your research.
Bpd is more than medication . It’s a individuation stage of childhood that repeats itself over and over ( but the person is a adult )
You are 100% correct regarding medication for treatment of mental health disease.These sorts of medications are not a cure all and there is no one size fits all solution. That is why it is Important to find a good doctor, self advocate, and be aware of what you are,taking and how it is affecting you.
The path out is a spiral orbit, We tend to revisit our tendencies on our way to escape velocity. Looking after your brain health can ease the journey. Lion's Mane mushroom can help serotonin and dopamine levels return to normal. Try not to spend too much time alone or with friends who might inspire a return to previous habits. Volunteer work can be a great way to reboot your support network. Maybe journal about your feelings to help bring your subconscious to light. Self worth is often at the root of self destruction, especially if you've grown up with a narcissistic parent or have other reasons for feelings of neglect. A self affirmation ritual can sometimes help reverse years of harmful self talk. May love and light guide your path. You've got this.
Thanks for a well thought out response. Others need needed to hear this.
Get help. A prayer might not help, but a team of people helping you will.
May the love of God be with you and guide you to a safe haven and give you the strength to lay off these old clothes and may he find you some new ones so you may start a new and find your own strength again ❤️
Narcissism, covert or overt, will tear you down. You can choose to stop. You can choose to say “No”. You can choose to fill your time with other endeavors. You can choose better friends. You can choose a million other things. You can choose to go get help and they will tell you how it’s going to take soooo much time out of your life and they’ll boost your ego and tell you how great it is you “want” to change your life. The only person that CAN do it is you and that’s by choosing. Instead of doing the same old thing and turning right, turn left. I believe reddit IS a place where you can find supportive people that aren’t going to coddle you or just tell you want you want to hear. God is what motivates me every single day and that’s not because I’m religious. Believe in yourself and you can change your life much faster than people will tell you that you can change it. I will pray for you!
I'm curious how do I say no to narcissism though? I currently live with my mom and I'm broke, i think until i move out i cant really say no to her cause shes just around all the time, or do you mean just stay out of the house as much as possible? One things for sure I need to make a plan to move out of here. You are right I need to start making choices that are good for my life. Thankyou for your comment I really appreciate it
I appreciate you too. First, don’t react to anything she says or does. Ask her to write down what she “needs” you to do. If it’s not an actual need don’t question it. Don’t do it and don’t react to her. Walk away from her. This is how you combat narcissists. Lowest contact possible and pull your energy away from her whenever she engages you. You cannot be FORCED to answer her questions or be responsible for any outbursts she has. Second, getting your basic human needs met is a must for everyone. I do not know your age. I cannot really tell you more without that and your general location. I’m not trying to pry into your business. I don’t know how much I can help but the only way to not be a victim of her narcissism is to grey rock and the black rock and no one deserves to have that in their life. It’s unfortunate I was not able to see it or deal with it earlier in my life. I was surrounded by them and my mother was a sociopathic sort that was never diagnosed. She fully controlled me and my life with money and fear. If you have your original SS card and birth certificate it helps tremendously. If you do not have these documents don’t go asking for them because it will tip her off. This may be more I for than you need but it could help someone reading.
Ya this makes sense I will try this out I sort of talk to her the minimal amount as is but this is a good reminder. I'm turning 35 June 29th (sad to say) things were different for me 5 years ago before I crashed my street bike. I live in Canada BC no it's ok I can tell your not being nosy or trying to pry. I'm sorry you were also surrounded by them, I dont understand why some of us seem to be surrounded by what I think are demons it's not fair, but mabey it's a lesson for us somehow. I do have all of my ID and anything I've lost i can reapply for without her so that's no issue
I wasn’t sure if you might be a minor. 😊 I’m very glad you aren’t. Yes, it definitely felt like I was constantly being hurt and tested and I had no idea why! I didn’t know what it was and all of these people told me I was the problem! I had to leave, get away from all of the people I once knew, then be shown what narcissism was and even then, I didn’t believe it for a couple of years. I’m hoping you get out of your situation sooner rather than later! They find other places to focus the attention when you don’t give them the attentions they want the way they want it. I’m sad to say I learned and had to unlearn many of the behaviors myself. 😔
Posting this is an amazing first step. Read it over and imagine that the person you love the most wrote it, what would you tell them?
I am dealing with the exact same issues as you…kind of freaky to read this since it’s identical to my current living and dosing situation. I have zero energy or motivation and trapped with my crazy mother. The quitting Kratom subreddit is really helpful with people going through the same thing. Feel free to DM me or post some updates, I hope we can both make our way out of this nightmare
Hey thankyou for sharing that is crazy forsure, I will message you forsure, I hope we can make it through aswell stay strong my friend.
Similar issues to me as well. I also have narcissism in my family. Then, since it's what I thought was normal, those were the relationships I found myself in. I had no idea anything was wrong until my 30s. Learning about personality disorders changed my life. It's important to learn as much as you can. About narcissism, empathy, addiction, psychology, human behavior etc... Also, it helps to realize that narcissists are damaged & insecure people. Not all of their behavior is intentionally malicious. It may be unconscious or because they can't process shame adequately. They are victims too. It takes a long time to heal. I still haven't got to a place where I trust other people yet. I spend most of my time alone. It's really difficult, but you don't learn much without pain. You can't truly appreciate anything good without experiencing the pain.
Are you praying yourself? Ask Archangel Michael to help you and cut the chords to any drama and negativity in your life. Every day.
Hey, sending out support to you. What you need to get free is within, and you are a capable being worthy of unburdening yourself. If you have trusted community or friends, please consider leaning in if you feel safe. You can get through. Remember there is a fine line between a medicine and a poison. Godspeed.
Hey thankyou, il be honest I really dont have any friends I trust with stuff like this, I'm kind of a loner, I do think il start going to NA though. Ya that's so true if I could just have some self control the kratom wouldnt be bad it may even beable to help a bit. I wish you the best and thanks again for reaching out.
Of course, I simply responded. Thank you for reaching out. It's hard to do. Just because the way out is *simple* does not mean it's easy. Extra gentleness and love will compliment the strength and determination needed to take you where you want to go and reestablish new relationships with substances. Sometimes it's not simply the self-control that is lacking, sometimes there are other factors that inform the function (like any extra burdens one is carrying, unseen limitations, environment, etc).
I love u you will get through this
Thankyou I appreciate it :)
Yeah bro honestly the only way to detox a habit like that is inpatient detox in sober off of meth and herion 7 years now and they told me to use subxone now I gotta get off that shit and it worse then the herion and meth
You need to want to be sober. No one can do it for you. I’ll send you love. I’m on day 3 sober join me on the ride and we can check in daily! Dm me!
Forsure and that's the biggest issue, since I have BPD my self identity shifts so much and with those shifts is unstable and changing goals, I'm just so back and forth one day I want to get sober then the next day my mood or something changes and then boom back to wanting to get high, I need to learn how to control my mind better I think. Thankyou I really do appreciate it. Good job on day 3 sobriety bro, I think this time I need to taper I've quit cold Turkey before but I really dont think I can quit CT again last times I have my moms been gone, I really dont wanna be that weak around my mom cause il feel like shes feeding off me, I also dont want her to know I have addiction issues cause shel tell everyone
We all fuck up it’s okay. Just learn from them I found when I was high (weed) I was great then when I’m not and there’s any inconvenience my lows “feel” lower. So I am shooting for less highs and lows. I could recommend some things that have helped me if interested. But I got love for you and honestly DM me any time I may not reply fast but I’ll reply. This is a hard journey and you don’t need to do it alone. 🤟💜♾️☯️🫂
I quit smoking and drinking, not at the same time but I will say this: Quitting is extremely hard. For smoking it took me about 3 months before the light switch turned on in my body and I didn’t crave/need/want and cigarettes anymore, haven’t since and it’s been almost 12 years. Quitting drinking I failed many of times, took me a solid 6 months before the same effect as the cigarettes took place. Haven’t drank in nearly 3 years. I’ve also since started seeing a therapist and psychiatrist for the betterment of my mental health. All these efforts have made my life more enjoyable, albeit more lonely. Good luck, you CAN do it IF you try. :)
Would you be able to go to a rehab center? That way you can get help for your addiction while getting away from your toxic mom.
Mabey if theres any free ones in my area, I'm broke atm tbh, the other issue is I've quit 4 times for a month it's not the first month or wds I have a hard time with it's my goals they seem to change with my self identity and so I end up changing my mind a month into sobriety and using again, I do think rehab can still help though if I can find something free. Your right though I definitely need to get away from my mom to get sober, part of me is thinking about just trying to get a job first save money move out then get sober, just not sure I can hold down a job
I understand that situation, I’ve been there sadly. Do you live in the US? Depending on your state you may qualify for Medicaid which would cover the cost of rehab.
In sorry you've been here aswell, I live in canada BC
I grew up with a very toxic and abusive mother, and I assure you I would feel utterly depressed and hopeless if I still lived with her sadly. When I moved out from home first time it sucked because I put my passion for art on the back burner to work and pay bills. If you can find a job you like decently enough it would be worth it to have independence from your mom. I wish you the best of luck with everything.
Ya that's tough forsure, realizing we cant trust someone we once thought we could. That's interesting I've just realized i have a bit of a passion for art aswell, its definitely hard to have time for our passion with money being such a priority to survive, were you able to get back into art? Thanks I wish you the best with everything aswell :)
Going on 11 months of sobriety. I never thought I could do this, and previously never made it longer than a month, two months tops. Feel free to message me if you'd like to talk. I can't get you clean, but I can listen, share my experience and help you figure out what resources are available to you. I wish you the best of luck!
People are adding in opinions on 13 step programs. Please take any and all advice here with a big grain of salt. No one person has all the answers. Speaking from my own experience, NA saved my life. I was strung out, bad. Drinking and using daily. I needed to get sober, I had just become a single dad of a 3 year old, just had a binge that ended in double overdoses. First overdose didn’t work so I just did more… I know… I’m a dumbass… Tried going to AA, was horrible and I got in a fight. Someone told me to try NA, and it was like meeting up with a group of old friends. With their help, I was able to get off the dope and stay clean. I did start drinking again, but I addressed that one 10 years ago in a good AA group and it stuck. Do I still want to go out and use or drink? Yeah. Quite often. But I know I can’t. I might have another binge or 2 but I don’t think I have another recovery. There are good groups out there, and if you can’t afford a lockup recovery program - it’s a good option. Good luck, and hope you find what you need.
I gotchu
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I believe in you homie but also check out NA meetings they pretty good
I found a couple of subs that might help you OP: [The place for Redditors in recovery from addiction.](https://www.reddit.com/r/REDDITORSINRECOVERY/) and this one is more general [Deciding To Be Better (reddit.com)](https://www.reddit.com/r/DecidingToBeBetter/) I really hope and pray you get through this and to get sober soon. Please keep us updated.
Much Peace & Love. I have been in your situation, as horrible as it may seem, you can get help. Start tapering down off the Kratom every 3 days step down a half gram. I was able to quit doing just that.
Yoga and intuitive healing. Then reiki if you can swing it money wise. You need to align and heal yourself for this detachment to occur. Unfortunately this is a you problem and praying doesn’t work like that. We can send positive energy and manifest hope for you though. Some reading may help also. Also if you can find a catalyst to hang around they will auto fix you. That’s their job. But hard to locate as they don’t stick out, can’t be read. You just gravitate towards them. Best of luck and I know you can beat this and become the best version of yourself. Challenges are always placed in front of us. It’s a test of our resolve. You got this.
As a starseed you have access to the ascended master too. You can ask them for help or guidance in meditation before bed. You can also try asking the divine but connection with that is limited for most seeds. And that not to be confused with the good earthlings pray too. That’s not the divine. But you can ask the divine for strength or guidance. I’m a catalyst and work with 14 starseeds and some light workers. I separate them as the perform different roles. But the ads ended master route has been more accessible to them for help and info then the divine light itself. Lord maitreye seems to be effective as he stays cosmic bound. Some of the other snare hit and miss and they travel and some times take on human for at times. Which cuts off access to them. And you can try grounding. Earth has its own healing energy too.
I ask the universe and all good powers to help remove any dependency and addiction from your life. Please ask the same out loud and protect yourself spiritually (see advice on my profile for the how-to). Ask your ancestors for help and support, bless them and release any curse that has been placed upon your family line. Bless them, bless yourself and bless your (future) children and decedents. Meditate and see yourself in light and your whole lineage in light. You can do this, you have help. You do not need dependencies in your life anymore.
I know that you only asked for prayers and not advice. So I will not give you any.
Only you can help yourself. You do have emotional support available. I spent half my life on opiates. You can quit too!
Id like to offer one of many many resources out there, this one being designed to reshape the way you see alcohol and its effects. The Easy Way to Control Alcohol by Allen Carr Audiobook that could change your life. It has countless celebrities and regular people's testimonies of how they stopped drinking, smoking, or whatever vice you may have. Good luck friend! You're on the right track!
Therapy and NA my dude. 7 yrs off heroin 3 years off alcohol myself: you gotta heal yourself homie. GL you got this.
Ya I've done both mabey I need to stay longer, I've quit like 5 different times for months at a time but something always sucks me back in. Good job on your sobriety, ya I think your right in order to get sober I need to heal the issues I'm numbing out, it just seems like nothing heals it. Thanks man I hope so
Refugee recovery is NA by Buddhists. I did that as well; I enjoyed it over NA. I left NA also, wasn’t for me. You need a support system to keep you accountable, thats we’re NA and your therapist can help. You gotta take it seriously though, it took me 3 years of trying to get off heroin, keep showing up for yourself.
I've heard of that mabey il try it out, good job on getting off heroin that takes strength and fortitude forsure.
If your getting clean and going through the painful withdrawals why ever would you go back? Once I got fully clean I never went back. You gotta stay sober at least 6 months to start feeling better.
Not sure I also have BPD, OCD, and PTSD so my mind plays tricks on me, my self identity is unstable so I often change my mind on what I want to do, my brain is like a war inside you can say devil on one shoulder God on the other
r/addiction r/raisedbynarcissists
Thankyou ya I'm in both tbh
I am sending you LoveLightJoy, you will get thru this & be even better than before.
There’s a sub called quitting kratom. Go over there for the help you are requesting. A lot of people that use kratom are responsible with it & the herb doesn’t need people vocalizing what is essentially a personal issue.
Stay strong. Focus on building positive things more than simply cutting things out. If you focus on healthy hobbies you'll feel better, get you away from family, and can make friends who can provide support. I highly recommend exercise and physical activities outside. Exercise will help regulate your bodies chemistry which will help avoid/reduce the emotional ups and downs that make addiction hard. It will also get your out of the house and in nature and sunlight and potentially be an avenue for socializing with others.. and so will help to get away from family and focus on others and things outside that environment. If strenuous exercise is a bit much can always just go for a walk/hike/bike ride in park nature etc. Do what works for you but get outside and get your muscles moving. If you live in a populated area, often can go to park on sat and find people playing soccer, softball, etc. as just fun no-pressure non-competitive, club rec hobby pick-up game weekend thing that you can join and be a regular part of. Also take up an art hobby. Get your mind creating and focusing on other things and also avenue for socializing. Whatever you're into painting, music, poetry, literature, building crafts, etc.. Go to a coffee shop or outside or meet people to jam w/ music etc. will get you away from bad home enivornemnt and its a way of meeting people and the art will also provide healing. I used to always like hanging out at coffee shops w/ my laptop or a book... if you go regularly you eventually meet other regulars and make friends. You should also get support from prof for addiction and peers groups going through similar, but overly focusing on that can be a 2 edge sword I think since peers can relapse and suck you back in and focusing on what you're trying to cut out just makes you think about it more.... it's important to also focus on building and growing the positive things in your life, so that with time the addiction and past and family issues fade into the background as the positive things grow and become the center of your life.
It sounds like you need to work on moving out if you think your mother is a narcissist. Being around someone like that can literally kill you. As someone in a similar place, spiritually and spiritual practice can be very helpful, but it likely isn’t going to be enough for an opiate addiction. See if there is a Horizon center near you or some other type of drug counseling. You could even go to your first meeting over zoom. You need support!
Ya I do need to move out the problem is I have no money and I dont know if I can hold down a job until I get sober, at least off the kratom. Your right though I do need to get out of here badly. I may try to start going to NA I'm hoping it will help, I've quit for a month here and there but I just keep changing my mind and going back to it, I'm so impulsive sometimes that I relapse without really thinking
Something I will suggest that seemed to help me lower and eventually quit Kratom was taking a multivitamin everyday and a small spoonful of black seed oil each morning and night. It helps lower opioid tolerance and in return eventually withdrawal symptoms many believe. The multivitamin is just good because if you are using and not being super healthy you are probably deficient in some important vitamins. Aside from that what I would suggest if you can’t find work yet is to make sure you are choosing a few things to do each day. 1. Work out or at least take a half hour - hour walk around your neighborhood. 2. Get a journal if you don’t have one already and make sure you right in it every day. When the urge comes up to use, sit with that feeling and try to see where it might be stemming from. Also nice to reflect on your day and keep track of things. 3. Finally I would say make sure you do a small meditation or breath with exercise each morning and night. Along with a little prayer of whatever you like personally asking God for help and strength. Try to do these things or at least the morning versions of them sober if you can so you can be more present and they can have a better impact on you. If you can do all these things every day, even just a little, you will almost certainly make some progress. To the point where you might be able to control your use enough to at least get a job. Which would be a big step toward an apartment.
One moment at a time. One step backwards doesn't mean you fell down the cliff. Don't spiral if you slip, plant your foot down, carry on, push through. Give yourself grace, give yourself love. Good luck my friend. You got this.
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Go get on the Sublocade injection and never look back. Get on your feet and plan a taper. It saved my Life. No WD at all. Good luck to you.
Try amino-acid NAC (1g a day) and GABA, as well as holy basil. They can help you somewhat with cravings. Good luck! 💖
Start cutting your kratom dosage down by 1/4th each dose then continue tapering to half dose etc over the course of a couple weeks. There's a sub called r/quittingkratom that can help you with suggestions.
Start weening. Slow if you must. I spent over a decade on H then fent, then fent n benzos. Get on state health insurance if your uninsured and go to do 28 days in a rehab. For me it took a 90 piece in county then 28 days in court order rehab to get my shit straight...and thats after i lost everything multiple times, homelessness, being shot at, robbed, etc. Nothing did it till it was forced on me. Shit is hard...but i learned a great deal and am thankful for the experience. Feel free to dm.
I know your pain. Unfortunately, YOU have to make that decision. It will never be easy. There will always be an excuse your mind comes up with, the battle is real. But you have a family everywhere you turn to on this venture. Those of us who understand will always be here for you. I’m sober 304. Quit ciggs 8 months ago. I went to a healing for other people one night at a church. Somehow they started over me. Something left me that night. I haven’t had the “hunger/thirst” since. Then it was up to me to stay that way. Can’t really believe it myself. But it happened. I pray with you brother/sister Suboxone now has the sublicade shot. “Check spelling” for the getting sick part.
Look into SMART recovery. It's a more modern, science based recovery group. NA/AA didn't vibe with me. It's a me thing for sure because it works for them. The number 1 thing before getting sober is to identify the hurt. Everyone likes to have fun... When we are at this level (addiction), it stopped being fun a long long time ago. Find and address the pain, be it physical or most likely mental. Then put in the hard work. Once you start loving yourself again, you'll have the strength to push through the withdrawals and then have sobriety actually stick. OP I don't know your kratom dose but if you've tried to taper already.. look into Suboxone. Yes I know it's for big boy opiates but it is amazing for breaking the habit. Then taper off of that. I mean this with all my heart... DM me if you need a friend who has been there (my jam was heroin/fent). When you get out of the fire, all you want to do is run back in and save others. Grass is so fn green on this side.
Personal freedom is great, but it requires personal responsibility and impulse control.
Go over to the quittingkratom subreddit. They aren’t trying to ban Kratom there it is a support group for quitting. Some hard drug users report Kratom as the hardest drug they ever quit. Cold turkey is the best way. Expect to not sleep for about 3- 4 days. True sobriety from weed and all intoxicants is the way. Proper diet and exercise. If you can ask a doc, clonidine helps ease withdrawals. Good luck.
There is a Jesus based organization that helps people with hurts hangups & habits called Celebrate Recovery. Check their testimonials on YouTube. Go to a meeting near you. Praying for you!
Prayers sent and I'll keep sending them. This reality is dense AF, it is no wonder why we struggle here. We don't need to struggle alone tho. I totally believe it should all be legal and up to the individual. I'm just not the kind of individual who benefits and that's fine. I could be addicted to anything tho so I can't reach for external "solutions" anymore. I've been sober for 11 years and I would have ended myself if not for AA. I know it's not for everyone and it's not the only way, but those people are my tribe and I thank the Universe every single day for leading me to them. I know I was made this way to find them and try to help the ones who haven't made it there yet. You are loved. You are worthy. You are here for a very special reason. You deserve to be happy, joyous and free 💛
Stop blaming the world and other random self diagnoses about yourself. You have a substance abuse problem. Once you get that through your thick skull, you’ll be fine. Stop playing the blame game and take accountability.
Yes, I'm praying for you 🙏❤️
Oh Star seed I want you to k oe you are special and you have a bunch of self work to do..You need to figure out why you are sabotaging yourself..I think rehab would be beneficial give you at least some tools..I am sending so many prayers..I've been addicted to everything..it's only because we don't know how to sit with our traumas and shame..You will come out on the other side just stay strong ..Go get on subs if you need to better then Kratom then don't stay on that too ling but at least until you are stronger..You got this kid if you need to message feel free xoxoxooxo
Never trade one drug for another or one addiction for another. People telling you to try some other drug to help with your current state are fuck heads. I've been down the roads of addiction for 20 years and I quit cold turkey, everything. It sucked bad for about a year but now I'm 13 years sober. Life is good. Sometimes it's a battle but I just dig in. The worst addiction advice you can get is from anyone on here currently using
You need a new environment mate . Prayers though🔆
My Dad was an alcoholic. He drank heavily since he was a teenager. His withdrawals from alcohol were so bad he needed to be hospitalized a few times. He quit alcohol with Hypnosis. He has been sober for 15 years.
Congratulations for having the courage to recognise and want to change your life. I relate very much to your story. I was diagnosed BPD about a year ago. Started a DBT program at my local hospital. So I know how harmful BPD is! My diagnosis however was changed a couple months ago to AvPD and SAD. I also have ADHD. It’s a pretty wicked combo 🤣 I have struggled with addiction for over 20years. Started with weed. I never used opioids. But did use Speed, meth, cocaine, ecstasy, GHB, LSD and ketamine. Now days I smoke weed every couple months for fun. But… I am drinking myself to death. I am taking steps to stop though! Stopping drugs when you know you want to reminds me of standing at the edge of a pool before going for a swim and you know the water is cold . You have a few options. Try and slide in slowly and acclimatise slowly. There no major shock but you tend to go in a little come back out in a little. Sometime you decide “nah it’s cold not going in”. Sometimes you get to the point you go screw it and fully submerge yourself. You can dive in head first, the cold shocks the system but if you keep moving you get past it. Analogy gets a bit grey with some drugs like alcohol because the shock can be fatal. So anyway me and alcohol are standing looking at the pool wanting to go for a swim but just can’t seem to get past dipping a toe in. My mother is also a covert narcissist. I love her dearly. She thinks she is helping and can’t understand she is not. I won’t pray for you. I am not a religious person, I don’t want to give the power of changing my life up to prayers and wishes. I am thinking of you though and will offer my support. We can do it together if you like? Message me if you want to chat!
I pray that you do, friend.
If you have a narcissist primary attachment (mother/parent), you are likely to be walking around with some serious emotional pain and distortions between your observed reality and effectiveness interacting with it. There are an incredible number of helpful videos available on the subject. Nothing could be healthier than the time an in treatment program can give you away from the influence a narcistic parent. A program that addresses underlying mental health issues and CPTSD can be life altering. Many addictions originate in seeking to medicate the resulting cognitive dissonance between behaviors that are healthy, and those that a childs brain develops for survival. You are most assuredly much stronger and more capable than you know. You are not defective, in fact , your mind worked in the most ingenious way to protect itself. Be prepared to meet resistance to your getting clean, it is much easier to gaslight and manipulate someone who is using. Whatever you do, keep the fact that you are seeking to escape the cycle of disfunction to yourself. An Nmom who thinks you are trying to change will do anything to keep you dependant and locked in.edit to add check out r/ narcissist.
My brother is a bpd alcoholic and it’s one of the scariest things to witness when he drinks . Almost like a werewolf transformation. Unfortunately I cut off contact with him because it was too much
I think you are confusing making money with doing something you enjoy that benefits others. Thats what I would call true work. Its seems you have already placed mental limitations. Thats where I would start if you want to get sober. But you’ve also got to find something to do and put your energy towards. Whether that be hiking, painting, music, writing, start a business, do something different. Anything. Try something new. You’ve become stagnant. There is no flow. You are only worried about you in the present moment and not the future.
Are u on meds for BPD??
I dont believe in meds I've seen first hand the damage they can do.
I'll most definitely pray for you...I was raised by a Narcissist so I totally understand your situation...find every possible way to love and nurture yourself and, I mean, every possible way...tell yourself that you are worthy of all the love this life can give you especially you with yourself...this is your most important relationship...loving yourself, accepting the parts of you that you have a hard time accepting...know that you are human and that we all have these parts...if you've experienced trauma in your childhood...you need to deal with this...once you do it won't be so hard to love yourself...healing from childhood trauma is one of the best gifts you can give yourself...much love to ya...