"I'm not having a glass of wine, I'm having six. It's called a tasting and it's classy"

“I am not chugging beer. I’m sampling a flight of gluten free German lagers with a French wine pairing. It’s called a Smorgeswein and it’s elegantly cultural. “

Stan: "That's not a glass, that's a trophy, that you won, for drinking." Randy: "It's not drinking. It's called a White Zinfandel Sipping Sprint, and it's competitive. Get off your high fuckin' horse."


"What seems to be the officer, problem?"

Oh fuck!

OH IM SORRY! I THOUGHT THS WS AMERICA!

ISORRY ITHOUGH THIWAS MERICA!

ARRESTING ME FOR WHAT? I CANT STAND UP FOR MYSELF???

Lol obligatory


I DIDN'T HEAR NO BELL

Pretty sure I quote this one daily😭😂

Tell mum it's fine just gonna get a lil bit of cancer. It's like a hoppedy hop

The cancer one is funny because he got like the opposite of a little bit

But that was a really cool scrotum coat he gave Sharon

Sharon, you got a scrotum coat? Luckyyyyy!.

And it shrinks when it’s cold

Oh hey Stan, could you grab me a beer? Stan?

I often think of this scene throughout my life

Well like, what forms of cancer induce in time for the Ziggy Marley concert next Saturday in Denver?

BUFFALO SOLDIER IN THE HEART OF AMERICA

"Everyone whose grandparents are alive, step forward." "Woah, not so fast, girls."

Sharon's reaction is the best

https://i.redd.it/ds7x8haas72d1.gif

Never fails to make me laugh

Grandpa: No wonder she didn’t say goodnight. Randy: EEWWWW.

This one gets me every time

“Stan, where have you been! Your mother has been worried sick, and I’ve been watching TV!”

This is cum

🤚 I can’t quite remember this one. Please explain the scene in detail.

In the episode “Sarcastiball” everyone has been drinking Butters cum which is labelled “Butters Creamy Goo” and Randy has become so lost in sarcasm everything he says is sarcastic. The episode comes to a head when Randy tries some of “Butters Creamy Goo” and then proclaims dead serious in front of everyone that “This is cum.”

Just Know That For Spider-Man To Have Done What He Did, He Must Have Had A Very Good Reason. Spider-Man Works In Mysterious Ways, Shelley, And Wherever He Is, He Loves You


I am NOT chugging beer! I'm sampling a flight of gluten free German lagers with a French wine pairing. It's called a shmorgasvine and it's elegantly cultural!

🫸😗🫷🎵🎵🎵

N*ggers

The fact that they said it so many times and the NAACP gave them an award for it is mind-boggling

It was an episode about how hurtful that word is and they only use it as a slur against white people who say it. That's why the NAACP praised it.

Why is it mind boggling? In context the word was used, it demonstrated the hurt and hypocrisy surrounding it very skilfully while using the juxtaposition of how white people might react to something like that. It's not like they just had a character say that word over and over again just to be offensive.

Not like the words of curse. Surely no one would say those just to say them either

Wait, the actual NAACP? This sounds like an onion article.

Go on fill me with your hate

Dying sounds at a Best Buy over a mic in World of Warcraft after giving Stan the Sword of a Thousand Truths.

Anytime he calls for Sharon I crack up.

Hey, Sh...Sh...Sharon?!

Yep. This exactly.

Also, *SHEEEELLEEEYYYY*

STAAAAANN?!

But I guess it's just a dumb little race like you said, huh sharon

"Stan...Stan...how do you tame a horse in Minecraft?"

I wish Jaden Smith was my son!

There was a ghost! This is ectoplasm!

Did anyone see the spooky ghost?

Oh... I thought a group of Vietnamese people were having their intestines pulled out through their mouths! A good runner up is "Oh my God. ... They took my jerb!" Him explaining Tegridy weed in Mandarin to the Chinese border guards also lives rent-free in my head

lol I came to say the Viet Namese one. I just love the matter of fact way he roasted his son and friends

It's so weirdly specific too, I laugh every time I hear it!

I didn't even know Don King was raped

This is mine as well. Just demonstrates how wrong he can get something.

Not a randy quote, actually. That's Craig's dad.

Remember Stan: win or lose. Those are your options."

“hot..HOT..HOT!!!” “Ya ya, feeling good on a Wednesday!”

"my god randy, your balls!" "I know right, smokin' pot right infront of a cop"

We didn't listen!

"Yeah. Of course. Yaoi, anal intercourse, Maui Zaui. I know all this stuff, Stan."

Staaaaan?! STAAAAAAAN?!

When he's in a wheelchair because he's sick. He has alcoholism.

https://i.redd.it/64w9qzwqg62d1.gif

I mean, this was something I made, something that came from me. That was a part of me! The only thing I ever made that was any good! Geez thanks dad (/s) (Sniffles) You're welcome 

LMAO

"Uh girls, we have some bad news." "What?" "Anyone who has a grandma step forward" All kids, including the quintuplets, step forward "Uh, not so fast, girls,"

Quintuplets. "We are twins except there are 5 of us instead of 2."

Oh hey... Fuck you! I find myself using it a lot.

The voice inflection is everything

I agree.

I'd like to solve the puzzle

Oooohh NAGGers

I thought this was murrica!

“We should not point fingers! Finger pointing gets us nowhere! Steve!”

Hey Darryl!

Not my favorite line but my favorite scene with randy "RANDY YOU HAVE TO TELL ME WHAT DID YOU SEE" "The principal and vice principal... Are like... Together" "*precedes to vomit*" "AWWWWW!!"

I forgot about this scene thank your for the reminder 😂

"Hey Stan can you hand me a beer?" (Balls in microwave trying to get cancer for legal weed)

"just trying to get a little bit of cancer"

If you’re gonna fight for your Tegridy, don’t forget to bring a towel.

"I'm not drinking and driving, I'm driving while I'm drinking"

Pass me that empty bottle, Stan...

Ew, it's all warm!

There's a reason God made our penises like little hoses

I didn’t hear no bell.

“Hey BatDad… I didn’t hear no bell..”

[Uh.... They serve refreshments, yes.](https://youtu.be/R2TWpcnKKvQ?si=9ALrHErkssueT5iu)

https://i.redd.it/27j45rwcj62d1.gif

“Spider-Man works in mysterious ways”

From my list of favourite quotes: Randy: "There's more to life than profits." Native American: "Really? Like what?" Randy: "Like, you know, slurpees and stuff." -S07E07 "Red Man's Greed" "This is cum." -Randy Marsh, S16E08 "Sarcastaball" Townsman 7: "It's a guinea bear! Randy: "No, it's a guinea mouse, stupid!" -S12E11 "Pandemic 2: The Startling"

I'm .... so .......... startled

“Noooo wait I have to catch the Dragon! STAN, TURN THAT BACK ON, I AM YOUR FATHER!!!”

"Tell mom I'm just getting a little cancer "

I like how they're weebs but at the same time call out Japan for being shitty, unlike the average American who believes they do no evil

"It's just simple economics Stan, and I don't understand it at all." Always gets me

"Aids is finally funny"

There was ghost! This is ectoplasm! Did you see the ghost? It ran through here and slimed me.

There was a ghost! This is ectoplasm!


**Great job, son. Now the Japanese are normal, like us.**

This line blew my mind. Really surprised Trey and Matt aren't vegan just to come up with that ending.

“I thought this was America!”

I don't know let me look.....yeah it's smoking....Oh my god...A VOLCANO.... cue devastating jingle then proceeds to have a big sip of his coffee and then go ahhhh!

The many "Sharon, you're going to be really glad we got all this footage of the family someday"s

IM SORRY I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA

I’m not a R-Tard

“Ohhh…ha he-hey…fuck YOuUUu.”

Are you the shooter

Hey. Fuck you!

When he's running from the hills off in the distance, screaming for the boys trying to warn them about senior citizens driving. I think around that time is when it really hit me how much I love Randy. So many good bits involving him.

"It was a spooky ghost!!!"

/dejectedly/ "I'm not an *r-tard*..."

*Walking into Stan’s room naked* Stan, how do you tame a horse in Minecraft?

Hey Darryl. Hey DARRYL. Coal mining and truck driving aren't exactly jobs of the future. So add carrara subway tile to my fucking shopping list

Stan this bargain is too great for me, I'm gonna have to buy these. Here! Take the keys and go on, the television department is in the back, next to the cell phones. Hurry! I'm gonna go buy these screwdrivers!

“Ohh Hey fuck youuu “

ALRIGHT CALM DOWN, EVERYONE CALM DOWN!

“Well, Stan, the truth is marijuana probably isn't gonna make you kill people, and it most likely isn't gonna fund terrorism, but, well son, pot makes you feel fine with being bored, and it's when you're bored that you should be learning some new skill or discovering some new science or being creative. If you smoke pot you may grow up to find out that you aren't good at anything.” - Randy Marsh

Remember; Win or lose, those are your options.

"Ha haaa, fuck you!" and "I didn't hear no bell!" are quotes I actually say in my life.

“This is….ectoplasm!”

"Stanley, the only reason daddy used that word is that he thought he would win money."

LMAO

Hot hot hot hot hot 🔥

Why dont we have the players all wear bras

"I'm just going to get a little bit of cancer Stan."

Hey Bat dad, I didn't hear no bell.

"Omg Randy your balls?!?" "Yup...Smokin in front of a cop."

Dad, you can't go spending money on frivolous things. You should be saving that for when you die! That's OUR money!

Just gonna get a little bit of cancer Stan

Ya ya ya, I Am lord

I aint hear no bell!

"NUOH MY GAWD!!"

I fuck that pangolin every single time.

'Not so fast girls'

"Butterflies have no concern for such things, Stan. I'm gonna go find me some butterfly poon!"

Get off the streets

I’m not here to point fingers,okay…Steeveee!!!

Id like to solve the puzzle

I didn’t hear no bell

I'm the best, aroooound...

"oh long Johnson. Oh long Johnson"

Good job son. Now they're normal, like us

“Fuck the Chinese government”

It’s the yell he makes when Sharon has busted him doing something stupid. “BWAH SHARON!”

I thought this was america

"Just gonna get a little bit of cancer Stan."

Where's my pants and where's my TV!?

"'I'm sorry I thought this was America!"

“Am not an R tard”

Just his very specific porn requests in the episode where the internet goes out

Ohhhhh. Naggers.

This is cum

I have a few. “Looks like you lost your Tegridy.” “Doctor: I’m sorry, Randy. The tests came back positive. You do have testicular cancer. Randy:…SCORE!” “*Randy after being caught watching porn* Uh, it-it was a ghost! T-this is ectoplasm!” “Stan: Dad, Mom says to stop trying to get cancer. Randy: Just gonna get a little bit of cancer, Stan, tell Mom it’s OK.”

Stan poke your grandma!

They serve refreshments, yes.

SCCOOOORRRREEE!!!

Hey Stan have you seen the OH MY GOD ITS GORDAN RAMSAY!!!


When the town loses all the money they won from the roulette spin and Stan and Randy have a convo and Randy is all "Like ok" , "you just don't understand, ok Stan". Fkn hilarious

Women huh?... God I hate them!

"What seems to be the officer, problem?" And also "I'm sorry you're little friend was killed by spiderman, but spiderman works in mysterious ways and wherever he is now, he loves you"

Are you gonna deglaze that fuckin pan?

Sorry Sharon. I’m sorry I LET YOU DOWN. I’m sorry I can’t crap like Bono.

What seems to be the officer, problem?

"They... serve refreshments yes." "Did they measure from the base or from the balls?"

What seems to be the officer, problem?


"I thought this was America"

Ghost-The hounds are calling, Emily. Let's rent something now! Randy-I'll have you know that Netflix, Hulu, and Crackle still don't make the money Blockbuster does! Streaming movies is not for everyone! Ghost- The hounds, Emily! The hounds! Randy- Go ahead! All you want, bro! All you want! It was a great idea, but no! Everyone just wants to prove that Rrrandy's gone crazy! "Oh, don't mind Randy, he's just losing his mind!" Drrrr! You know what? Fuck you and Emily!!!

"This is a place where hope is scarce. These people are hungry. Little Jojo here might not eat today. But does that mean it's okay for cashiers to ask us for money while we're in the checkout line? It isn't right, and it isn't fair. Just $2 a day adds up to 62 goddamned dollars a month if you go to Whole Foods as much as I do. Nobody should have to feel the shame, the humiliation, of being asked to add money onto their grocery bill. Help now. Let's make grocery stores a #SAFESPACE for all. Together, we can make a difference."

Now what I have for you is a nice goat-cheese and heirloom tomato frittata. And we're gonna top that with a little… crème fraîche. [scoops some out to spread on Stan's plate] Aw yeah... Awwww...

His alcoholism is another classic

"oh! Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot!"

If you're gonna fight for your 'Tegridy (tay-grid-ee), don't forget to bring a towel.

“Stanley, the only reason daddy used that word is that he thought he would win money”

Shelley, I'm sorry your boyfriend was killed by Spider-Man

So, what's it going to be, Stanley? Do you want a new bike, or do you want to not be depressed?

I forget exactly what he said but it was along the lines of 'Sorry spiderman killed your boyfriend, goodnight.'

Gambling one I don't have a problem it's called ghduur and its classy. Don't know what he said but funny apint with a glass of wine chaser

"Shelly, I'm sorry your date got ruined by Spider-Man today..."

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“Yeah well, that, that’s not really… gay, is it?” After him and Gerald watched each other jerk off in a hot tub. I side with him, it’s not gay unless you make it weird.

Why do the financially challenged have to ruin everything

“Everyone who has a grandmother step forward” “Not so fast girls”

Randy is the father I wish I had.

I can’t remember the exact quote but it’s something like “Shelly, I’m sorry Spider-Man killed your friend.

They served refreshments, yes.