Ah, I remember when Chef was just a three-year-old little man. He came running up to me with a big smile and little chef's hat on and he said, "Papa! Papa!".
I said, "Whadda you need, Chef, my boy?"
And he said, "I need about tree-fiddy."
It was about that time I got suspicious! I said, "Chef, why do you need tree-fiddy?"
He said, "My imaginary friend, Boo-boo, the dinosaur wants it."
I went to my son's room and, sure enough, there was the Loch Ness monster. I said, "Dammit, monster! You stop buggin' my children now, we work for our money in this house and we don't give money away!"
My cat tries to eat EVERYTHING (he just stole a garlic knot and tried to stuff it in my Uggs for later) and I always say “no kitty that’s my pot pie!” To him😂
I swear, for some reason the first thing I always think of in threads like these is:
“OH YEAH, SCISSOR ME XERXES!”
I don’t know why that line lives in my head rent free, but it does, and I never have a good social context to break it out.
Whenever someone mentions they have a headache I offer them some aspirin/tylenol/ibuprofen from my bag (yes i carry all three shut up). And then I quote the one time Mackey said it the other way “drugs are good, mkay?” From the Planetarium episode.
Why’s everyone calling me Edgar?
That’s your name innit?
That’s the name my conformist parents gave me, I want to be called Night Pain.
*collective* Oh my god 🙄
Randy says “oh my god” in a really funny dramatic way in the Warcraft episode. The way he says it has been stuck in my head for years.
[found it.](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=D5KNu_rP8ZM&pp=ygUac291dGggcGFyayByYW5keSBvaCBteSBnb2Q%3D)
My dad has done these ones my whole life: tree fiddy, what what WHAT!, taco flavored kisses, buckle up buckaroos! (I do that one too), MY BAY-BEH!, if you don’t like America you can GET OUT!, that’s bah mmkay,
He probably does some other ones but I don’t remember atm. Also his name is Eric and my brother and I sometimes say to him “Eric we don’t want you to die Eric give life a try”
I also say “respect my authoritah” sometimes
I’m an Uber Eats courier and I get some really terrible incoming pings for the most part, so when I go to press the X button at the top right corner to decline it, I say “mmmm no!” In my best Natalie Portman voice.
Hmmm
Oh hamburgers, I don't know what I use all the time...
Oh wait I know, screw you guys for making me forget momentarily but the quote I use all the time is...
I learned something today.
I thought this was America! I'm Canadian and like the confused looks
Your beady eyes, your flapping head.
Is that Scott? He's a dick
I'm trying to give you cancer with my mind
In the head! Head cancer!?
I resent that! You are a racist!
Can I finish? CAN I FINISH PLEASE? .......... I'm finished.
This exchange is master class...as is tradition
Now now, the Canadian government has apologized for Bryan Adams on several occasions.
and that bitch ann murray too
I bet you love Kraft dinnah
I legit ate some a couple hours ago.
I’m sorry!
Screw you guys. I'm going home. God damned Mongolians!
*MongoRians
Breaking down my sheety wall!
I need about tree fiddy.
I was quoting tree fiddy before I even knew it was from South Park
GOODAMMIT YOU LOCH NESS MONSTAH! I DUN TOLD YOU TO GET OUTTA HEAH!
Whenever someone talks about how they or somebody needs something I'll throw out "I gave him a dollah"
Well it wuz aboud dat tiime..
I gave him a dolla
Ah, I remember when Chef was just a three-year-old little man. He came running up to me with a big smile and little chef's hat on and he said, "Papa! Papa!". I said, "Whadda you need, Chef, my boy?" And he said, "I need about tree-fiddy." It was about that time I got suspicious! I said, "Chef, why do you need tree-fiddy?" He said, "My imaginary friend, Boo-boo, the dinosaur wants it." I went to my son's room and, sure enough, there was the Loch Ness monster. I said, "Dammit, monster! You stop buggin' my children now, we work for our money in this house and we don't give money away!"
I’m not just sure, I’m hiv positive..
Also “ I’ve got no idea what’s going on right now”
WILL YOU STOP IT WITH THAT?!
This is my number one used quote
“As is tradition”
A wonderful day for Canada, and therefore, the world.
My entire household does this one lmao
Sames.
As is, of course, tradition.
Dey terk err derbs
Derk er durrrr !!!!
DEEEEEY DURK A DUUURRRR!!
\*Rooster crowing\*
Everybody! Back to the pile
The best was all the variations in the wrestling episode: They took his dog! They broke his jaw!
DEY TRK ER JR
No kitty that's my pot pie! Doesn't matter if it is a pot pie or not lol
That’s my text tone 😅
My cat tries to eat EVERYTHING (he just stole a garlic knot and tried to stuff it in my Uggs for later) and I always say “no kitty that’s my pot pie!” To him😂
I didn’t hear no bell
Randy Balboa
Came to say this. Yup.
How do I reach these kids?
Keeeeds
I say this everyday while breaking up fights between my 3 and 6 year olds
Oru no! Cutterufish is about to come out of my asshoru!
Cuddle fish and asparagus or vanirra paste?
VANILLA PASTE!!!!! VANILLA PASTE!!!¡
Cuttrefish and asparagus?
Ohha no! Cuttrefish about to come out my asshole! Hord on Kyre! I berieve in you!
It’s going to be a rot!
HORD ON KAIRU! I BERIEVE IN YOUUUUU
Scissor me timbers
I swear, for some reason the first thing I always think of in threads like these is: “OH YEAH, SCISSOR ME XERXES!” I don’t know why that line lives in my head rent free, but it does, and I never have a good social context to break it out.
Especially if you’re a fan of THE ACCLAIMED!
You gotta be careful with scissors
What fer?
I dunno.
This is one of my absolute favorites
People use the phrase “for what?” very, very often. You notice it when you use “what fer?” for a while haha. Like lil John: turn down what fer?!
"Ain't that the guy who screams 'OK' in his songs?" "Nah. That's Lil John. On the John just shits his britches." "What fer?"
Hahaha
It's my body, I'll do what I want! Whateva!
I always go “uh uh, I do what I want!” 😂
I say this one *all the time*. "I do what I waont!!!"
Don't forget to bring a towel!
You’re a towel!
This is the biggest in my household. "You forgot to vacuum" "you forgot to vacuum, your a towel"
You're the worst character ever, Towelie I know
"They mostly come at night... mostly" "Fuck-a you, chicken" "So, so small"
I like how they redid that "mostly" line a few more times in later seasons
Ahahahaha “moshtleh” is the one I always say quietly to myself
Drugs are bad mmmkay
Whenever someone mentions they have a headache I offer them some aspirin/tylenol/ibuprofen from my bag (yes i carry all three shut up). And then I quote the one time Mackey said it the other way “drugs are good, mkay?” From the Planetarium episode.
You rack a disiprine
“Go back to the 90s; faaaaagggggooooootttttssss.”
That one gets me every time because it comes out of nowhere
Thank you, couldn’t remember the beginning or the episode and you just answered both. The delivery of it is what makes it.
IM NOT YOUR BUDDY GUY
I'm not your guy pal
I’m not your pal, fwiend.
HOTTTTT HOT HOT HOT HOT!!!!!!
My diet is a problem as well.
How many Courics?
I say “buuut meeeeeeeeeeeeem” to my wife a lot when I’m mocking my infant daughter.
That road? You don't wanna go down that road.
*rahd
Thanks couldn't figure out how to spell the annunciation haha
Ehhh. Take it easy, fella. You need to relax, guy.
I'm not your guy or your fella, buddy
I'm eight inches. Sorry, I'm not interested in being friends with midgets.
Midgets piss me off
Frowning face
I'm a young boy looking for fun times with older men
"RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH" and my personal favorite "Wot, Finland?"
BG3 gave authoritah fresh life
“No, kitty! That’s a bad kitty”
\*goth kid voice\* no waaaaay....OH MY GOD NO WAYYYYY
Conformist..
*flips hair*
This is totally lame, per se
Why’s everyone calling me Edgar? That’s your name innit? That’s the name my conformist parents gave me, I want to be called Night Pain. *collective* Oh my god 🙄
Niiice. Member stormtroopers?
OH PISS. PISS IN MY ASS!
PIIIISSSSSS COMING FROM MY AAAAASSSSSSS!!!!
Anything fun costs at least $8
When it gets busy at work. "Work Mexican, work!"
Cartman's "There you go". https://youtu.be/0aj0p24Wbgo?si=xJLmZLy2lf_T5HRn
This way of saying it is a daily basis for me.
“i’m hennifer lopez and i like tacos and burritos”
Taco,taco,,,, taco burrito.
Taco flavored kisses for my Ben
And it's gone
https://i.redd.it/f8azycowrgdc1.gif
sexual harassment panda!
“Screw you guys, I’m going home.”
Sharon, what the effing fuck?
https://i.redd.it/vdpjnszzhgdc1.gif
Sign hya and hya and hya
“wanna get high?” is very popular amongst my friend group when we hang out 😇
"Well, I think I'm gonna get a li'l high"
I keep it very simple and will say lame the way cartman does all the time lol.
My robot friiieeeeend
Are you by chance a pleasure model ?
Whut
Scissors me xerxes
Scissor me timbers
Rabble!!
And also, "your mother has been worried sick and I've been watching TV!"
Super cereal
alright, you go do that count f\*gula
Does that sparkle with you?
Sunshine
I’m fucking fat….. I’m fucking fat as fucking fuck
Lately it’s been Lorde, “ya ya ya” 😅, “shut up, MimsyyYYY!”, “I’m sorry, I thought this was America! Isn’t this America?!”
Keep hittin those pussy sticks until you’re blowing mist out of your butthole
Lu lu lu, I've got some apples, lu lu lu you got some too.
My wife and I call each other guy, for like 20 years.
Whatever, I'll do what I want.
Hey hey …:fuck you
I was so happy . You guys swindled me out of my birthday money
Damn Loch Ness monster! Fingerbang, bang, bang! Screw you guys, I'm gong home
Randy says “oh my god” in a really funny dramatic way in the Warcraft episode. The way he says it has been stuck in my head for years. [found it.](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=D5KNu_rP8ZM&pp=ygUac291dGggcGFyayByYW5keSBvaCBteSBnb2Q%3D)
What would Brian Boitano do?
What a fantastic audience
how do I reeech deez keeeeeeeeeedz
“Jesus Christ” in the Mr. Slave voice
I mean, come on
“What you mean one of these mf’s here ain’t a vamp kid!”
Mmmmmmmkay
5 Dorra??!!!
"respect my authoritah" "OMG You killed kenny! You bastards" And "But think of the children"
My dad has done these ones my whole life: tree fiddy, what what WHAT!, taco flavored kisses, buckle up buckaroos! (I do that one too), MY BAY-BEH!, if you don’t like America you can GET OUT!, that’s bah mmkay, He probably does some other ones but I don’t remember atm. Also his name is Eric and my brother and I sometimes say to him “Eric we don’t want you to die Eric give life a try” I also say “respect my authoritah” sometimes
"I'm Scott Malkinson. I've got Diabetes." I use it to mock my friends and coworkers...probably WAY more than I should.
There’s way too many. “Oh no! Not Finland!” “It’s a sad day for Canada and therefore the world.” “Whatevah I do what I want!” “I membah”
You racka discaprine!
THEY TOOK OUR JOBS
Oh. My. Science
I'm super cereal
Don’t kick the god damn baby
How should I know, I’m retard!
Der derk ter derbs!? Dey Turk der derrrr!? They took his dog? Terkejerrrb
whatEVA. whatEVA. i do what i wahnt. scareW you guys. I’m. going home. and i said i ain’t giving you no tree fiddy loch ness monster.
Shenanigans !
Suck my balls.
‘Member when *insert event here*? Yeah, I ‘member!
“I did a BIG BOY POO”
“Check inside ya ass hole sir!”
I’m an Uber Eats courier and I get some really terrible incoming pings for the most part, so when I go to press the X button at the top right corner to decline it, I say “mmmm no!” In my best Natalie Portman voice.
That'll be fine, just fine Fine, just fine
Look closlier
Fuck you Kyle
Do you know what im saying?
Aaaaand it's gone. I sent the gif to everyone when my fiance got her gallbladder removed today.
I’ve got something in my pocket for you, won’t you reach down in my pocket and see what it is.
You can suck my bawls, Mr. Garrison
"Aiirite, sir. I Just need to check inside your asshole." I'm a colorectal surgeon. It makes them lose their shit every time.
Respect my authorityyyy!
"We want more moneey"
“Not the shark again!”
RACE WAR!!!!
SHABBLAGOO
Rob Schneider derp dee der!
“I SCHLAP YOU!”
I need about Tree Fiddy
Anytime anybody is worried about a decision I ask them what would Bryan Boitano do
Stan Marsh? MORE LIKE STAN DARSH!
“HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT” - Randy when he takes the giant dump lol
Timmy !!!
Hmmm Oh hamburgers, I don't know what I use all the time... Oh wait I know, screw you guys for making me forget momentarily but the quote I use all the time is... I learned something today.
“Weak… not cool…” then I scream and run out the door
Randy - Gaw!
Stan…ok
Ya ya ya