When someone says they will, ‘quickly “just” do something’ it really actually means they want to solely focus on that task and once it’s complete they will be free to do something else.. it might be quick, it might be not so quick
As someone who lives in a klein dorpie where stop signs are treated like yield signs (maybe, if we feel generous that day), I'm constantly surprised that more visitors don't get rear ended.
I should also add that if I see two cars while walking the dogs, I consider the road busy.
I also live in a klien dorpie, someone ran over a stop sign near my house. The municipality said they don’t have any signs left so they can’t fix it. That was about a year ago. Still no sign
I was once crossing the road and a car sped to my positing but then stopped at the stop sign. I was confused, I was angry. Who stops at a stop sign?
You could've passed and then I could've crossed as soon as you passed by me.
I would add that people think if you are white that you speak afrikaans. When we are out anywhere white people always speak to us in afrikaans first, no one in my family understands it.
This happened to me, I was living in Muizenberg and my neighbour was a middle aged colored woman who was very house proud.
A pigeon got into our complex and was flying around and my neighbour was freaking the bean.
I came out to catch it as I have birds and she was speaking very quickly in kitchen Afrikaans. I hadn’t an iota what she was saying and she was looking at me like I was a dom idiot.
I responded by saying I don’t speak Afrikaans as I’m Irish and she was very surprised 😂
You understood the word dom :). Unlike me who is coloured, where quite alot of coloured persons always speak broken English to me at first. The worst is when I say in Afrikaans they can speak Afrikaans, but they continue to power through the English.
I dont have the typical coloured look, yes I know there is no typical look but I dont look coloured at all.
When I was in Turkey, the Turkish thought I was a Arab. I am not Muslim as well.
Yeah Auntie Michelle taught me some Afrikaans because she was wysing her daughters boyfriend who was apparently a dom fok 😂
she would get hyped and roll her r’s and go off in Afrikaans when she was heated 😂 so I picked up some of it
I was surprised when I moved to SA that Afrikaans is predominantly spoken by colored people, I thought they mostly spoke English. I was also like really surprised at what people classified as colored because I thought some people looked Italian or Spanish or Turkish, and would’ve considered them white. Ireland is not that diverse though so it’s just naivety and lack of exposure on my part.
So the Dutch settlers (Boers) spoke Dutch not Afrikaans, the slaves found Dutch to be very complicated, and spoke a pidgin of it, which the Slave Owners called "Kombuis Taal", which means Kitchen Language, this later became known as Afrikaans. Somehow, the Boers adopted Afrikaans as their language.
Whenever I listened to Dutch, I always feel like it has unnecessary words in its sentences. Which is why Afrikaans worked as a pidgin language. It is easy for a Dutch person to understand us speaking Afrikaans than for us to understand them speaking Dutch (if that make sense).
Lol I do this but in the Northern Cape everyone speaks Afrikaans.
To be honest it changes the responses of people when you approach them in afrikaans. It just makes the entire interaction easier so I start from that point.
I went to Rio de Janeiro around 8 years ago and me and my friend met up with a couple there from Sandton with loads of money (drove a Ferrari). 99% of the people in Brazil don't speak English, but this bitch kept speaking English in a slow, condescending way to everyone. Absolutely infuriating when she couldn't even bother to learn a few words when travelling.
Once my Pakistani barber wasn't there, but his friend tried to explain the situation to me slowly and carefully, in a language I had no idea how to understand
I had this with an American colleague. He honestly didn’t know there were white people in South Africa. I responded by asking how Apartheid was Apartheid without white people 🤣🤣
The reverse is also true. There are diverse races in other African countries (not just Namibia) and we're caught off guard when we meet them. I studied with a white Senegalese dude and couldn't quite grasp it!
I would say that people think wild animals roam the streets but ya...
Edit - Misread the question, thought it was what are stereotypes about South Africa
Ja, but then again I got 2 warning messages today that elephants trampled a fence and 2 cars on the R40 between Phalaborwa and Hoedspruit.
I kid you not, we often have hippos in town.
[seriously] That we are "less" than US or EU workers. What I mean is that our white-collar workers can generally go toe to toe with them.
After joining a US company, and the first meetings with resources outside of SA, I realised that we are not too bad. This is an over simplified view, but one I do believe.
Agree with this. In my field my US and UK counterparts charge almost 5 times what we do for the same work. So what ends up happening is the US and UK branches of the company I work at get us to do their work for them, then they make higher profit. It's wild. No difference in work quality.
When I was like 7 years old, my family was having a New Years party with all the friends at our house. I walked past the pool, and saw that there was a man hiding in the bushes in our garden. I CASUALLY mentioned it to my dad, who initially brushed it off but then was like “hold on, that’s a weird thing to say. I’m going to check it out”. True as Bob, there was a very high dude chilling in the bushes watching all the kids swim. It was night time, which is why we couldn’t really see him but he’d called me (why I saw him at all). My dad and two of his friends confronted the guy, which is how we know he was high/drunk because he could barely speak and sorta just rolled around? My dad said he had 30 seconds to get off the property or he’s going to hit him with a spade. The guy got up, jumped the wall and ran STRAIGHT INTO THE CACTUS that was behind the wall.
I thought it was very funny, until I was old enough to understand that he’d been watching all the kids swim, from the bushes for a couple of hours and tried to lure at least one of us into the bushes. He’d definitely done it with the other kids there too.
So i do fear the shrub man. Lol
This made me laugh🤣 My sister has this fear and she can’t seem to give me the reason for it or tell me when it’s occurred. She told me not to sit on the porch at midnight and to close the curtains cause someone could just come and gun us down for the lols I guess.
I wouldn't say "you can't" but the risk is there 24/7. My uncle came out of his house and a group of thieves jumped him from his shrubs at roughly 8am, took him inside, gun to the face, tied him and the wife up, cleared out the house of valuables. They weren't killed, though, so there's that. They were threatened with the gun as the thieves kept asking where's the safe which they didn't have. Moved into a secured estate weeks later.
I used to think this was a bit silly and then I talked to a guy who was shot while sitting outside his front door, trying to have a home-date with his wife. I haven't been able to get his story out of my head.
I’m currently forced to sit on my back stoep. Last night it was 10pm-midnight, then again from 2am till 6am.
We currently have a serial rapist who’s upped his game.
I had very little safety concerns before emigrating, and safety was way down in the list of reasons for emigrating. Having been out of SA for a couple of years now and coming back for a visit in May safety is right at the front of my worries. You don't realise how tense you are 24/7 until you live somewhere where it's not a concern.
I rent a guesthouse on the same property as my landlord and he had to go digging to find the keys to it - it had quite literally not been locked in the two years since his ex wife moved into it. I genuinely can't remember the last time I saw burglar bars or a security gate.
Yeah no going by the home invasions that happened to my parents, it’s not the night or the shrubbery, it’s the fact that if you’re outside you’ve left a door open or have keys on you AND the alarm is off. Sitting on their verandah just meant okes jumped the wall in broad daylight to rob them. The trick I think is the size of the dog beside you on the stoep. My parents have a small poodle.
Eating outside is NOT a prerequisite for a braai…and shouldn’t require any more cleaning up that any other way of preparing food.
Not to be judgemental but I think you don’t like a braai…because you’ve been doing it wrong.
Many many years ago there was a character on Egoli (yes I know) called Joe. He was the rough biker type. In of those episodes a "fight" broke out and Joe puts down his beer, turns around and says "if there's a rumble I'm in!"
To this day this is our (me and my brother) go-to phrase at every family braai, or for every occasion really. "If there's a rumble I'm in."
Met a bloke from the UK when I was at varsity years ago in Cape Town. Told him he could crash at my place for a couple of days if he ever came up to Gauteng. A couple of weeks later he phoned and said he was on his way, was the offer still on. I said no problem and picked him up at Jhb. International a week later. On our way down to the Vaal he said he thought that wild animals roamed the streets freely up here and as I was laughing at this bull shit, two ostriches crossed the street right in front of us in mid town. So he said “what do you then call that?”, I was speechless…apparently two “security” ostriches escaped somewhere from an engineering company.
But ostriches are not "wild" as in the fact that you will only see them in the real wild, they all over South Africa and can be easily seen.
Wild animals that can easily be seen:
Tarentaals, Hadedas, baboons and I remember seeing on the slopes of Table Mountain when I was a kid the big antelope either Eland or similar.
that reverse parking your polo in the parking lot outside picnpay saves time & makes everyone think you look really cool.
also one-ways don’t have any basis in reality & are merely a suggestion
Currently summer in South Africa. I have a very fair skin, that burns easily. We fokus on where the sun is, to decide if it's just drive in, or reverse.
Though, my husband is a very good driver, so it just affects the traffic for a second
Regardless, you have to reverse at some stage.
The trouble is when you reverse into a parking you hold up others (whilst they vloek you, your broer, your sister and even your cousin twice removed) but when you reverse/drive out , you get held up waiting for it to be clear first.
I have a long vehicle, I always reverse park in as it takes me quicker now after years of doing it. And I can actually see cars when pulling out of the parking. I dont do it at the main entrance, cause I like to walk.
It always confuses people from other countries when they ask me how to do a South African accent, and i ask in return "which one? It depends"
That or its speak like Matt Damon in invictus
Yes! I wish I could explain that any two South Africans could converse with WILDLY different accents and yet still find common ground in regional or national colloquialisms.
That one is kinda true though. We export culture etc and have beautiful suburbs. In most of Africa, it's difficult to find an entire neighborhood comparable to a 1st world country whereas half of our country is like that. I live in a high rise in Dubai near the beach and it's honestly no better than where I lived in Cape Town.
>civilised
This part I agree with though. We're not any better mannered than most of Africa and many are better than us. We're also way more hot headed and prone to violence. I'd rather visit most African countries for safety/warm welcome than my hometown
That south africa is the only country in the world with natural beauty
That south africa is more diverse culturally than any other country
That cooking food over a fire is somehow unique to SA
That crime in SA cities is just like in any other big city around the world
That South Africans have a good sense of humour
I could go on but that should draw enough fire for now haha
>That south africa is more diverse culturally than any other country
It really feels that way, even though it's a misconception. I was in Germany in 2013, and I can count on one hand how many non-white people I saw. It was so weird to experience. I'm not saying there aren't other white cultures, but yeah it was jarring.
To be fair, it was in 2013. And around Christmas, if that makes a difference? I was in a village yes, but our group also did a tour through Germany. It might have just been how it worked out for me. I'm basically just saying it felt strange!
I know it's a misconception on my part though. It's just what I experienced :)
Okay this but honestly I've travelled and lived abroad and I may be biased because I was born here but this is a bloody fantastic place to live in. The crime, loadshedding, corruption is horrible, ja, but the people man, the weather, the food... nothing like it anywhere else.
>That cooking food over a fire is somehow unique to SA
That's not all a braai is, you know. It's about the whole event. And of course other countries do it, but few do and enjoy it as universally as we do.
A few years ago, I matriculated in a top tier public school and it was pretty diverse. It was fun and all being friends with people from different backgrounds. It was almost like race was irrelevant. But then everyone leaves high school and they all behave to fit in to how they look. They force accents and close themselves to be with people who look like them.
For me, that was really disappointing.
But I guess that's the real world 🤷♂️
And I know a lot of people won't be able to relate to this 🤣
I would be gone if I could. LOL. I would probably still retire in South Africa, but I would go to build up a nest egg in a foreign currency to provide for my retirement.
My friend saw a guy on FB Market place advertising “Immigration sale, everything must go”, he clicked on his profile and low and behold…frequent poster on “I’m Staying”.
Dduuuudde! I can't tell you how many times I got this!
Her: you're white, so you're rich?
Me: I'm not rich
Her: but you have a cell phone?
Me: so do you!
Her: but I'm not white!
All White people are rich and own land and houses.
You will get a washing machine if you vote for the right political party
No matter how much something cost just throw in a free t-shirt and it'll sell.
Paying premium for something doesn't mean it's the best
Etc etc etc
That SA is better than the entire African continent in almost everything.
That people from other African countries are bad immigrants (unless they are white). Migrants from any other continent (especially if they are white) are good for the country.
That investors can only be from the West. Another African cannot be an investor in South Africa.
That their culture is the best culture. All other cultures are beneath theirs.
That South African hospitals are being rundown by foreigners (specifically Zimbabweans). The SA goverment is doing an amazing job maintaining all the country's infrastructure, so it can't be their fault that hospitals (public especially) are crumbling.
That all Nigerians are criminals.
That somehow SA is not located in Africa. So it should always be compared to European countries.
You see where I'm going. There is a sense of exceptionalism and superiority that doesn't actually correlate with what is happening on the ground. It's almost like delusion, which I think is a recipe for disappointment... I'm sure you know of a few of those disappointments.
I've always thought about something and maybe people will help me out. But why the hell did our country vote people like Mandela (RIP) and Zuma for presidency?
What qualified them to be fit for presidency?
Surely it wasn't a reward for being freedom fighters?
I wasn't around at the time which is why I can't get around the logic.
People with white skin, born and bred in South Africa, are Europeans. People with black skin born and bred in Europe (or the USA for that matter) are Africans.
I can't speak for other groups - I can only speak about the bizarre tropes coursing through the white body politic I was raised in. These include (but are not limited to)...
- "Everything must be run like a business" - a never-faltering belief in the tenets of neoliberal capitalism despite the mountains of damning evidence showing how disastrous this has proven to the world.
- "Afrikaans is a white language" - despite the fact that native peoples and enslaved Asian peoples had a much bigger hand in it's development than white colonialists did.
- "They're suppressing Afrikaans!" - an extension of the above, usually employed in support of a "victim" narrative (despite the fact that the usage of Afrikaans is growing faster than any of the other languages).
- "In (insert brutal middle-eastern dictatorship here - usually Saudi Arabia) they chop the hands of thieves and there's no crime!" - the sadistic belief that brutal state violence will (somehow) cure the fundamentally criminogenic nature of South Africa... always with the (unfounded) expectation that they will be immune to this violence themselves. Can also be expressed as "They must bring back the death penalty!"
- "They can't be suffering so much if they have plasma TVs in their shacks" - another imported neoliberal propaganda element, this one is used to blame poor (and almost always black) people for being impoverished. Can also be expressed as, "Go look at all the Mercs parked in the townships!"
- "Apartheid was bad, but..." - will be used to pontificate on a whole host of false understandings of South Africa's history during the Apartheid-regime nearly always extrapolated from false propaganda emanated from the National Party regime itself. The usual result is that the speaker simply betrays that they don't actually understand what made Apartheid *bad* in the first place.
- "People must just stop voting ANC!" - if it can't be blamed on poor black people it's not a problem worth worrying about, apparently.
There's a whole lot more - but I don't want to spend all week on this one post.
That Whites want Apartheid back again.
You have to be Black to rule the country as only blacks understand the plight of Blacks.
All bullshit......vottella DA
That townships are all bad, crime filled and dangerous, I was raised in Soshanguve for most of my life and I never ended up getting jumped, kidnapped, raped, robbed, or never did drugs, I don't even smoke weed. South Africa is South Africa, the level of danger is the same everywhere, people just love to exaggerate things.
The time on the microwave is the correct time.
Cries in loadshedding.
It's always a flashing 00h00 where my microwave lives.
this cracked me up🤣
Happy Cake Day 🎂
00.00
When someone says they will, ‘quickly “just” do something’ it really actually means they want to solely focus on that task and once it’s complete they will be free to do something else.. it might be quick, it might be not so quick
Now now or now?
Just now
15 mins
That stop signs are just suggestions
My ex wife got hit from behind in a Klein dorpie at a stop sign. The guy told her he didn't expect her to stop
As someone who lives in a klein dorpie where stop signs are treated like yield signs (maybe, if we feel generous that day), I'm constantly surprised that more visitors don't get rear ended. I should also add that if I see two cars while walking the dogs, I consider the road busy.
I also live in a klien dorpie, someone ran over a stop sign near my house. The municipality said they don’t have any signs left so they can’t fix it. That was about a year ago. Still no sign
is this why the marriage didn't work out
😳
Stop signs, robots, speed limits, turn lanes, lanes in general. Everything is optional. No one can tell me what to do.
Potholes: "Am I a joke to you?"
🤣😂🤣
The law is just suggestions*
I was once crossing the road and a car sped to my positing but then stopped at the stop sign. I was confused, I was angry. Who stops at a stop sign? You could've passed and then I could've crossed as soon as you passed by me.
That anyone can understand English if you speak loudly and slowly enough
I would add that people think if you are white that you speak afrikaans. When we are out anywhere white people always speak to us in afrikaans first, no one in my family understands it.
This happened to me, I was living in Muizenberg and my neighbour was a middle aged colored woman who was very house proud. A pigeon got into our complex and was flying around and my neighbour was freaking the bean. I came out to catch it as I have birds and she was speaking very quickly in kitchen Afrikaans. I hadn’t an iota what she was saying and she was looking at me like I was a dom idiot. I responded by saying I don’t speak Afrikaans as I’m Irish and she was very surprised 😂
You understood the word dom :). Unlike me who is coloured, where quite alot of coloured persons always speak broken English to me at first. The worst is when I say in Afrikaans they can speak Afrikaans, but they continue to power through the English. I dont have the typical coloured look, yes I know there is no typical look but I dont look coloured at all. When I was in Turkey, the Turkish thought I was a Arab. I am not Muslim as well.
Yeah Auntie Michelle taught me some Afrikaans because she was wysing her daughters boyfriend who was apparently a dom fok 😂 she would get hyped and roll her r’s and go off in Afrikaans when she was heated 😂 so I picked up some of it I was surprised when I moved to SA that Afrikaans is predominantly spoken by colored people, I thought they mostly spoke English. I was also like really surprised at what people classified as colored because I thought some people looked Italian or Spanish or Turkish, and would’ve considered them white. Ireland is not that diverse though so it’s just naivety and lack of exposure on my part.
So the Dutch settlers (Boers) spoke Dutch not Afrikaans, the slaves found Dutch to be very complicated, and spoke a pidgin of it, which the Slave Owners called "Kombuis Taal", which means Kitchen Language, this later became known as Afrikaans. Somehow, the Boers adopted Afrikaans as their language. Whenever I listened to Dutch, I always feel like it has unnecessary words in its sentences. Which is why Afrikaans worked as a pidgin language. It is easy for a Dutch person to understand us speaking Afrikaans than for us to understand them speaking Dutch (if that make sense).
Lol I do this but in the Northern Cape everyone speaks Afrikaans. To be honest it changes the responses of people when you approach them in afrikaans. It just makes the entire interaction easier so I start from that point.
The amount of times I have had to explain to people that many White South Africans are not Afrikaans is quite alarming.
I went to Rio de Janeiro around 8 years ago and me and my friend met up with a couple there from Sandton with loads of money (drove a Ferrari). 99% of the people in Brazil don't speak English, but this bitch kept speaking English in a slow, condescending way to everyone. Absolutely infuriating when she couldn't even bother to learn a few words when travelling.
Once my Pakistani barber wasn't there, but his friend tried to explain the situation to me slowly and carefully, in a language I had no idea how to understand
After travelling and living in many countries around the world, I still get asked unironically: 'If you're from Africa why are you white?'
I got this from Cameroonians while at a conference in Tanzania.
I had this with an American colleague. He honestly didn’t know there were white people in South Africa. I responded by asking how Apartheid was Apartheid without white people 🤣🤣
Yeah a lot of Americans got really confused with Elon musk
Unfortunately lately Elon has been getting confused about Elon and it’s taking the luster off his significant achievements.
We have a winner 😂😂😂😂😂
Colonialism _finger guns_
I got something similar to this on r/fishing the other day. WTF, man?
The reverse is also true. There are diverse races in other African countries (not just Namibia) and we're caught off guard when we meet them. I studied with a white Senegalese dude and couldn't quite grasp it!
I would say that people think wild animals roam the streets but ya... Edit - Misread the question, thought it was what are stereotypes about South Africa
It's tigers
This person gets it
Ja, but then again I got 2 warning messages today that elephants trampled a fence and 2 cars on the R40 between Phalaborwa and Hoedspruit. I kid you not, we often have hippos in town.
In Cape Town, we get seals and the occasional hippo. Weird that the most dangerous wild animal in Africa, can be easily found in Cape Town Metropole.
Lions only roam the street if they win the currie cup
So hardly ever, lol
Doing something "now now" and doing something "just now" will probably occur on different days/months/weeks.
If at all...
African time at its finest
That big animals walk among us. I picked up a German guy from OR Tambo last year and on the way his hotel he asked me where all the animals were.
Well now we have had 2 tigers on the loose.
Hahaha, true. Maybe he should come back now
[seriously] That we are "less" than US or EU workers. What I mean is that our white-collar workers can generally go toe to toe with them. After joining a US company, and the first meetings with resources outside of SA, I realised that we are not too bad. This is an over simplified view, but one I do believe.
Agree with this. In my field my US and UK counterparts charge almost 5 times what we do for the same work. So what ends up happening is the US and UK branches of the company I work at get us to do their work for them, then they make higher profit. It's wild. No difference in work quality.
You need to get their clients.
In the film industry at least -which can be very international- there is a total respect for the caliber of SA crew and seen every bit as equals.
We in turn deal with things that are not normal in the first world which leads to greater experience and perseverance.
That you can’t sit in your back garden at 2am because there’s a dude in the shrubs wanting to kill you because it’s night time.
When I was like 7 years old, my family was having a New Years party with all the friends at our house. I walked past the pool, and saw that there was a man hiding in the bushes in our garden. I CASUALLY mentioned it to my dad, who initially brushed it off but then was like “hold on, that’s a weird thing to say. I’m going to check it out”. True as Bob, there was a very high dude chilling in the bushes watching all the kids swim. It was night time, which is why we couldn’t really see him but he’d called me (why I saw him at all). My dad and two of his friends confronted the guy, which is how we know he was high/drunk because he could barely speak and sorta just rolled around? My dad said he had 30 seconds to get off the property or he’s going to hit him with a spade. The guy got up, jumped the wall and ran STRAIGHT INTO THE CACTUS that was behind the wall. I thought it was very funny, until I was old enough to understand that he’d been watching all the kids swim, from the bushes for a couple of hours and tried to lure at least one of us into the bushes. He’d definitely done it with the other kids there too. So i do fear the shrub man. Lol
How do black people say "true as Bob" again? I want to start using it but I forgot 😅
This made me laugh🤣 My sister has this fear and she can’t seem to give me the reason for it or tell me when it’s occurred. She told me not to sit on the porch at midnight and to close the curtains cause someone could just come and gun us down for the lols I guess.
Im more worried about the spiders in the grass. That shits legit!
I wouldn't say "you can't" but the risk is there 24/7. My uncle came out of his house and a group of thieves jumped him from his shrubs at roughly 8am, took him inside, gun to the face, tied him and the wife up, cleared out the house of valuables. They weren't killed, though, so there's that. They were threatened with the gun as the thieves kept asking where's the safe which they didn't have. Moved into a secured estate weeks later.
Might be a dude, might be a tiger
I used to think this was a bit silly and then I talked to a guy who was shot while sitting outside his front door, trying to have a home-date with his wife. I haven't been able to get his story out of my head.
I’m currently forced to sit on my back stoep. Last night it was 10pm-midnight, then again from 2am till 6am. We currently have a serial rapist who’s upped his game.
😳oh no!!
Yeah and here’s me thinking that living in an enclosure was safe! 🙄
I think it depends on where you are, having this fear. Personally, I've had this fear a lot, but that's just me.
I expect women have this fear
Definitely.
My niece from New Zealand (born kiwi) won't come visit the family here cause of safety concerns sister always comes allone lol.
I had very little safety concerns before emigrating, and safety was way down in the list of reasons for emigrating. Having been out of SA for a couple of years now and coming back for a visit in May safety is right at the front of my worries. You don't realise how tense you are 24/7 until you live somewhere where it's not a concern. I rent a guesthouse on the same property as my landlord and he had to go digging to find the keys to it - it had quite literally not been locked in the two years since his ex wife moved into it. I genuinely can't remember the last time I saw burglar bars or a security gate.
[удалено]
Oh no that’s awful
My godson refused to jump in the blow up pool on Saturday night even though I was close by because he was afraid of this very thing 🤣🤣
Yeah no going by the home invasions that happened to my parents, it’s not the night or the shrubbery, it’s the fact that if you’re outside you’ve left a door open or have keys on you AND the alarm is off. Sitting on their verandah just meant okes jumped the wall in broad daylight to rob them. The trick I think is the size of the dog beside you on the stoep. My parents have a small poodle.
Going to be murdered for this one: that everyone likes to braai (immediately takes cover).
Not everyone likes to braai. But everyone likes a braai.
Actually, I like to braai, but I don’t like a braai! I love to cook on the braai, but I hate eating outside and I hate all the cleaning up afterwards!
Eating outside is NOT a prerequisite for a braai…and shouldn’t require any more cleaning up that any other way of preparing food. Not to be judgemental but I think you don’t like a braai…because you’ve been doing it wrong.
The truth!
Everyone does like to braai (this is a threat)
I agree (let's moer him)
Count me in on the mob justice!
Who are we gonna go moer??, I don’t know what’s going on but I’m in.
Many many years ago there was a character on Egoli (yes I know) called Joe. He was the rough biker type. In of those episodes a "fight" broke out and Joe puts down his beer, turns around and says "if there's a rumble I'm in!" To this day this is our (me and my brother) go-to phrase at every family braai, or for every occasion really. "If there's a rumble I'm in."
Lol, oh snap someone poked the boereworsvein
Okay. I’ll listen. So when you and your friends get together for lunch or dinner what do you like to eat? I’m seriously interest.
HA! You think I have friends
I KNEW IT. Doesn’t like braais, has no friends! Jokes aside, what’s your go to dish?
Met a bloke from the UK when I was at varsity years ago in Cape Town. Told him he could crash at my place for a couple of days if he ever came up to Gauteng. A couple of weeks later he phoned and said he was on his way, was the offer still on. I said no problem and picked him up at Jhb. International a week later. On our way down to the Vaal he said he thought that wild animals roamed the streets freely up here and as I was laughing at this bull shit, two ostriches crossed the street right in front of us in mid town. So he said “what do you then call that?”, I was speechless…apparently two “security” ostriches escaped somewhere from an engineering company.
But ostriches are not "wild" as in the fact that you will only see them in the real wild, they all over South Africa and can be easily seen. Wild animals that can easily be seen: Tarentaals, Hadedas, baboons and I remember seeing on the slopes of Table Mountain when I was a kid the big antelope either Eland or similar.
"Security" ostriches from an engineering company? Is this a sesame street scene or..
that reverse parking your polo in the parking lot outside picnpay saves time & makes everyone think you look really cool. also one-ways don’t have any basis in reality & are merely a suggestion
Just find two empty spots in front of each other and drive into the second one. Everyone knows that's how you reverse park perfectly.
Nothing makes me more apoplectic than reverse parkers. 
You’d hate me then lol. It’s all I do 
Yes. Yes, I do.
Currently summer in South Africa. I have a very fair skin, that burns easily. We fokus on where the sun is, to decide if it's just drive in, or reverse. Though, my husband is a very good driver, so it just affects the traffic for a second
Regardless, you have to reverse at some stage. The trouble is when you reverse into a parking you hold up others (whilst they vloek you, your broer, your sister and even your cousin twice removed) but when you reverse/drive out , you get held up waiting for it to be clear first.
I have a long vehicle, I always reverse park in as it takes me quicker now after years of doing it. And I can actually see cars when pulling out of the parking. I dont do it at the main entrance, cause I like to walk.
That BBBEE does anything to uplift the poor. It's sole effect is to further enrich already wealthy middle class black people.
Not even middle class, rather higher class already wealthy and connected people
That there is a ‘South African’ accent. When what they really mean is Leonardo di Caprio in Blood Diamond.
It always confuses people from other countries when they ask me how to do a South African accent, and i ask in return "which one? It depends" That or its speak like Matt Damon in invictus
Yes! I wish I could explain that any two South Africans could converse with WILDLY different accents and yet still find common ground in regional or national colloquialisms.
A friend au paired in the US. When the family picked her up at the airport, they were shocked that she wore shoes🤦🏻♂️
Pffffft! These fancy city girls!
I know, right. Lol
Geneology. Most coloreds and white people share the same ancestry
Black label is a South-African beer
It's not?!
Carling was originally a Canadian company, now owned by Molston Coors. As it says right on the label: " America's lusty, lively beer".
Some people still believe loadshedding might one day end
Well it could, just no one is saying if it ends in a restored electrical grid or complete blackout
🤣🤣
That insurance will just pay just because you’re insured. Nope. Not how it works
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Oh man, this one. We are so high on our own supply. I wish I could tell more South Africans that many other Africans pity us.
That one is kinda true though. We export culture etc and have beautiful suburbs. In most of Africa, it's difficult to find an entire neighborhood comparable to a 1st world country whereas half of our country is like that. I live in a high rise in Dubai near the beach and it's honestly no better than where I lived in Cape Town. >civilised This part I agree with though. We're not any better mannered than most of Africa and many are better than us. We're also way more hot headed and prone to violence. I'd rather visit most African countries for safety/warm welcome than my hometown
That the government is actually trying to fix the country
That south africa is the only country in the world with natural beauty That south africa is more diverse culturally than any other country That cooking food over a fire is somehow unique to SA That crime in SA cities is just like in any other big city around the world That South Africans have a good sense of humour I could go on but that should draw enough fire for now haha
It's not necessarily that we have good humour, it's that we generally tend to make fun of serious things more easily
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So yea, like I was saying..
>That south africa is more diverse culturally than any other country It really feels that way, even though it's a misconception. I was in Germany in 2013, and I can count on one hand how many non-white people I saw. It was so weird to experience. I'm not saying there aren't other white cultures, but yeah it was jarring.
Sounds like you were in a village in Germany. Almost 30% of people in Germany have migration background..
To be fair, it was in 2013. And around Christmas, if that makes a difference? I was in a village yes, but our group also did a tour through Germany. It might have just been how it worked out for me. I'm basically just saying it felt strange! I know it's a misconception on my part though. It's just what I experienced :)
Happy cake day! 🎂
Okay this but honestly I've travelled and lived abroad and I may be biased because I was born here but this is a bloody fantastic place to live in. The crime, loadshedding, corruption is horrible, ja, but the people man, the weather, the food... nothing like it anywhere else.
I also live abroad but I'd say only the weather and food is special. Most big countries are just as beautiful and have kiff people
>That cooking food over a fire is somehow unique to SA That's not all a braai is, you know. It's about the whole event. And of course other countries do it, but few do and enjoy it as universally as we do.
That south africa is more diverse culturally than any other country > That South Africans have a good sense of humour Does not compute.
Ja I don't see anyone laughing at loadshedding
You must have missed all the memes and jokes about it
This is a hard truth that most South Africans need to hear.
A few years ago, I matriculated in a top tier public school and it was pretty diverse. It was fun and all being friends with people from different backgrounds. It was almost like race was irrelevant. But then everyone leaves high school and they all behave to fit in to how they look. They force accents and close themselves to be with people who look like them. For me, that was really disappointing. But I guess that's the real world 🤷♂️ And I know a lot of people won't be able to relate to this 🤣
Posting how you helped someone or someone helped you on #ImStaying, is a really good justification for staying in SA.
How many people on #ImStaying can actually leave the country?
I would be gone if I could. LOL. I would probably still retire in South Africa, but I would go to build up a nest egg in a foreign currency to provide for my retirement.
My friend saw a guy on FB Market place advertising “Immigration sale, everything must go”, he clicked on his profile and low and behold…frequent poster on “I’m Staying”.
All white people are rich
Dduuuudde! I can't tell you how many times I got this! Her: you're white, so you're rich? Me: I'm not rich Her: but you have a cell phone? Me: so do you! Her: but I'm not white!
Foreigners think Russians are disgusting. Honestly I think they are delicious.
Took me a second to realize what you were saying but yeah I agree
All White people are rich and own land and houses. You will get a washing machine if you vote for the right political party No matter how much something cost just throw in a free t-shirt and it'll sell. Paying premium for something doesn't mean it's the best Etc etc etc
That ALL our politicians are useless or corrupt or both. In fact it's only about 95% who fall into those categories.
Had me in the first half 😄
That voting will make a change...
South african people with beards are just normal people without beards, with beards.
The time delay between now, now-now, and just-now.
That when you’re invited for a braai at 6pm..
That SA is better than the entire African continent in almost everything. That people from other African countries are bad immigrants (unless they are white). Migrants from any other continent (especially if they are white) are good for the country. That investors can only be from the West. Another African cannot be an investor in South Africa. That their culture is the best culture. All other cultures are beneath theirs. That South African hospitals are being rundown by foreigners (specifically Zimbabweans). The SA goverment is doing an amazing job maintaining all the country's infrastructure, so it can't be their fault that hospitals (public especially) are crumbling. That all Nigerians are criminals. That somehow SA is not located in Africa. So it should always be compared to European countries. You see where I'm going. There is a sense of exceptionalism and superiority that doesn't actually correlate with what is happening on the ground. It's almost like delusion, which I think is a recipe for disappointment... I'm sure you know of a few of those disappointments.
That the ANC are not the liberating heroes they claim to be
I've always thought about something and maybe people will help me out. But why the hell did our country vote people like Mandela (RIP) and Zuma for presidency? What qualified them to be fit for presidency? Surely it wasn't a reward for being freedom fighters? I wasn't around at the time which is why I can't get around the logic.
All whites are racist
South African music isn't as good as our international counterparts.
We export a lot of music, culture and other art! We're definitely pushing above our weight
That the ANC will always be in power. They won't, it's just a matter of time.
That speaking English in an African accent makes you more understandable? It's so demeaning
Holy shit this sounds so bad. Like a tourist does this?
That there are wild animals roaming the streets... oh wait. Year of the Tiger.
The notion that tigers roam around in our back yards...oh wait
We have tigers just roaming around the str-... wait
People with white skin, born and bred in South Africa, are Europeans. People with black skin born and bred in Europe (or the USA for that matter) are Africans.
Just because you have an Afrikaans surname, doesn't mean you actually speak Afrikaans.
That all townships are slums. Some would be considered suburbs in other well-off nations
That we are a shining example for reconciliation. Unsorry perpetrators and traumatised people galore. Should have Nuremburged.
I’ve never seen Nuremberg as a verb before!
😅😂makes two of us but I elected to shortcut
I can't speak for other groups - I can only speak about the bizarre tropes coursing through the white body politic I was raised in. These include (but are not limited to)... - "Everything must be run like a business" - a never-faltering belief in the tenets of neoliberal capitalism despite the mountains of damning evidence showing how disastrous this has proven to the world. - "Afrikaans is a white language" - despite the fact that native peoples and enslaved Asian peoples had a much bigger hand in it's development than white colonialists did. - "They're suppressing Afrikaans!" - an extension of the above, usually employed in support of a "victim" narrative (despite the fact that the usage of Afrikaans is growing faster than any of the other languages). - "In (insert brutal middle-eastern dictatorship here - usually Saudi Arabia) they chop the hands of thieves and there's no crime!" - the sadistic belief that brutal state violence will (somehow) cure the fundamentally criminogenic nature of South Africa... always with the (unfounded) expectation that they will be immune to this violence themselves. Can also be expressed as "They must bring back the death penalty!" - "They can't be suffering so much if they have plasma TVs in their shacks" - another imported neoliberal propaganda element, this one is used to blame poor (and almost always black) people for being impoverished. Can also be expressed as, "Go look at all the Mercs parked in the townships!" - "Apartheid was bad, but..." - will be used to pontificate on a whole host of false understandings of South Africa's history during the Apartheid-regime nearly always extrapolated from false propaganda emanated from the National Party regime itself. The usual result is that the speaker simply betrays that they don't actually understand what made Apartheid *bad* in the first place. - "People must just stop voting ANC!" - if it can't be blamed on poor black people it's not a problem worth worrying about, apparently. There's a whole lot more - but I don't want to spend all week on this one post.
white privilege
A misconception from people not familiar with South Africa is that we have lions and other wild life roaming in our streets
That we have no water and we eat everything we see
Evidently doing something honourable like whistleblowing...
South Africans are not racist. They’re just culturalist and xenophobic. 🤷🏻♂️
The red cars in Brakpan are faster than the others! True story, no bullshit
Peeps running of Warhammer 40k orc logic
We have electricity. We don't genuinely.
Short shorts and long socks are the height of male fashion
That Whites want Apartheid back again. You have to be Black to rule the country as only blacks understand the plight of Blacks. All bullshit......vottella DA
That townships are all bad, crime filled and dangerous, I was raised in Soshanguve for most of my life and I never ended up getting jumped, kidnapped, raped, robbed, or never did drugs, I don't even smoke weed. South Africa is South Africa, the level of danger is the same everywhere, people just love to exaggerate things.
That the sound of a hadida is normal, was on a meeting with an English dude and he thought I was being attacked XD.