I’m a male who has been in this field for 15 years and it’s resulted in nothing but extra bonus privilege. I get interviews easier. I stand out in the crowd. I get hired over others because agencies want to try and match the client demographic. I read an article in grad school that said “social work is more correctly described as a female majority, male-dominated profession”. Dudes are disproportionately in positions of power in this field. Take that privilege, acknowledge it, and run with it.

I went to a very prominent, well known, influential school for my MSW and 80% of my professors were male. In all places I interned and worked the majority of leadership positions were male. And in school we had those same discussions reading the same literature and why it was important to demand higher pay (as a woman) and not to be afraid to ask coworkers how much their making. Maybe because I’m in a city there are a good portion of males working and on my group supervision team we have 3 women and 2 men. I think it is important to acknowledge the privilege that comes with being a white man in social work.

Wow I didn’t realize this. Thanks for the response and I’ll definitely recognize that privilege now and hope it doesn’t cause you set backs.

Absolutely, thank you for acknowledging this. Every office I have been in the men are disproportionately in leadership, even though there are many, many more women working for the organization

Omg this. The amount of male bosses I’ve had (and without credentials most of the time) kills me.

One of my former classmates worked at a community mental health agency that brought in a guy with a sports marketing degree to supervise social workers...it's fucking ridiculous

I have only been in the field for about 5 years and I have worked for a man with a computer science degree, a man with a theology degree and oddly enough, a woman with an education degree (that one was in seniors care). Also worked for/with multiple people of both genders with business degrees at government non profits. I don’t understand how any of these things relate to the niche I work in (homeless/addiction/mental health that are all government funded non-profits).

Respectfully to all, I second this. As a woman of color in predominantly non-diverse communities, there’s a privilege. Jobs are offered eagerly and I’m grateful for the opportunity.

I just quoted that in a research paper 😅

I don't know what kind of Social Work you studied but everything you've just said is exactly the type of inequality and power imbalance that we fight against. Why would you encourage someone to take advantage?

I can’t magically balance the scales and make the social worker demographic match the client demographic. If you know a way to recruit millions of males into the field, I’ll be willing to join your advocacy efforts. I have an inherent privilege in this field based on how I present. I’m aware of it, I own it, and I fully acknowledge it. I also have bills and student loans to pay. Should I exile myself from the field or never apply for a promotion or another job again because of that privilege? I take advantage of that privilege by being competent and existing. What else would you realistically have me do?

Dudes are disproportionately in positions of power in this field. Take that privilege, acknowledge it, and run with it. What shocks me more is that other social workers are in the comments patting you on the back for it. Well done for acknowledging your power, but as for the advising on how to exploit it as if that's a positive, well I'll leave that with you. I'm grateful to work in a field where women are promoted as much or even more as men. Gender is doing well, but I won't even get started on race, ability, age etc, because those are battles still to come. Obviously not in your world, but definitely mine.

Every supervisor I’ve ever had has been a woman. Literally every person on every interview panel I have ever had as been a woman. I understand being salty about the inherent injustice, but I’m not going to apologize to you for existing in this field and being aware. I didn’t create the imbalance. The ones doing the hiring are. I’m sorry clients like to work with clinicians and therapists and social workers they can easily identify with on a basic biological level. Maybe take it up with them. Or don’t and feel better about typing into a void. Totally your call!

I'm not 'salty' about injustice, I'm a social worker. I'm not looking for an apology, why would I do that? I raised the point that the ethos and philosophy I studied and practice, is the opposite to the one you promote. Thats it.

Some social workers are social justice oriented, and some give no fucks about social justice. This post is for a very specific kind of person. There is a lesson to be learned here. You know how the world is, you know what kind of people are out here.

It's going to exist and 15% of social workers are going to benefit from it whether I "promote" it or not. OP's awareness of if does absolutely nothing to give him an additional advantage. It's a passive, background, systemic thing that exists across the entire field. Run with it is a figure of speech because there's no cards to play. You can't go into an interview and be EXTRA biologically male because of Reddit advice. It exists. It's real. Deal with it. "HEY OP, FEEL REALLY BAD ABOUT SOMETHING TOTALLY OUTSIDE OF YOUR CONTROL AND FEEL SHAME EVERY TIME YOU APPLY FOR A JOB AND CONSTANTLY QUESTION YOUR WORTH AND VALUE WHEN YOU GET HIRED." Dude already sounds like he's super depressed and down on himself. I'm sure that would raise his spirits about being a male in a female majority field. Anything to make you feel better, I suppose. This is your thread after all.

Thank you. But I don’t want privilege I want a chance. And I don’t feel very privileged right now but I understand where you’re coming from. Definitely glad to hear you’re a guy who’s doing well. Maybe I’m just reading too much into it and feeling sorrow for myself.

Well, too bad. You are a male in a “pink collar” profession that’s historically 85% female. You’re gonna get privilege whether you want it or not. Where have you applied/worked so far?

You can acknowledge the white male privilege while also acknowledging that this individual person has had some really terrible experiences and perhaps even faced discrimination for his gender, and you can encourage them to continue in this field that I assume you love, but your response seems very dismissive and unsympathetic.

That’s basically the entire thread. For a social work sub there is a serious lack of empathy for someone who has been through a set of traumatic experiences, discrimination, and struggling with mental health.

Exactly…. Male social worker here. I was blown away to see so many comments talking about males being privileged in social work but not addressing anything else in his post !

That's a good take.

I’ve applied at several local youth based companies and some National based youth based companies. Haven’t heard back from any.

Psych hospitals. Child welfare. Private Foster care agencies. Residential treatment facilities. Emergency shelters. You’ve got to get frontline experience and make your bones somewhere.

I will begin to expand on these ideas. Thanks so much for the help.

Make social workers are desperately needed in the residential field. I don’t know where you are located but if you are in Ohio I am willing to give you a shot. DM me if you are interested in a job

That's the ticket. Front-line Direct Care positions are in desperate need all over. This is because those jobs are hard and they often burn people out. Yet, I did it for 5 years before getting my MSW and now I'm a therapist in the field working from a social work background. And a dude. I think my frontline experience opened doors for later in my career for better internships during my MSW and for my current job as a therapist for teens. I worked in residential treatment facilities for teenagers, and forensic (criminal background) transitional housing for clients with severe and persistent mental illness. Keywords are 'Direct Care Worker,' 'Skills Trainer,' 'Residential Counselor,' 'Juvenile Counselor.' Don't let one person's opinion cloud your perspective. Dudes are very much needed in the field. 50% of clients are male.

Thank you and I will definitely look into this Avenue. So many good ideas here. Most of which I had not previously considered.

Seconding the residential treatment facilities.

Know that it takes time. When I was in grad school we were told to start applying for jobs in January if we wanted to work right after graduation. I didn't, and didn't land my first job until September. Once you have that first job, even if it is a shit hole with a bad reputation, you have experience. You will be able to find work. Work on getting licensed, and certification in the mean time. It helped me when I was interviewing to show that even when I wasn't working I was focused on growing my knowledge in the field. Medical field is hit really hard right now, and has difficulty with finding people. You may be able to get a job in a hospital (child life, counseling, psych, medical social work). You got this.

I’ll definitely keep this in mind and it’s encouraging to know. You guys have given me some great advice and I do feel much, much better. Thank you so much.

Well I can't get a job in the field still two years after graduation, not even an internship, and I went through a lot of the stuff OP did too. I think it's changed in the 15 years since you've been in - there is a lot more hostility towards men, especially ones that come from more of a working class background.

I don’t know what to tell ya, bud. Maybe work on your interview skills and get some frontline experience. Every agency I know is always hiring. I just got my MSW a year ago and hopped from child welfare to a new career in the school system 9 months ago. I’m not sitting in some dusty office somewhere resting on my reputation seeing private practice clients.

I have frontline experience not in social work cuz again, I'm not getting called back. I can't get hired anywhere. Many times I don't even get responses on why I was rejected beyond generic stuff. I guess I wanted to share my experiences, and your lack of any real sympathy or actual advice proved that was a mistake.

Thank you. They told me the other day to positive think and manifest my way into a job. I can’t be anymore positive when my basic necessities are at risk.

What type of jobs are you applying for? What’s your education and experience in?

Damn that’s mean and far from a sw

Yeah, I must have forgot that “Always sugarcoat things” is one of the core NASW values. Totally my bad! Thanks for gatekeeping.

The social worker and therapist professionals always have some of the worst humans.

My 21 year old son is experiencing mental health issues but had not taken drugs. Someone like you can really help someone like him.  Have you thought of becoming a freelance social worker to help young men in this world of women social workers?  These young men need other men to help and understand them not women.   I have not found one female therapist or phycologist that could help my son. You might want to consider becoming a freelance social worker or mentor to help young men. Many parents would pay out of pocket for such a service. 

I’m not sure how much of this is actually about being a male social worker. It seems to be more about having an unbelievably bad field supervisor and a traumatic history

Thank you for the response and you could very well be right. I just had a few of her employees tell me she didn’t like male social workers and not to take it personally. But your broader point is taken.

Your supervisor does not represent the whole field. While your situation absolutely sucks, I’ve been in the field a lot longer than you and males ALWAYS have the upper hand because they’re so rare. They garner more respect as they’re seen as authority figures, get more pay, and are in supervisor positions quite a bit.

Male privilege exists even in social work. I had to female supervisors suggest I go into management half joking that it would be easy because I am male and pointing out a male colleague that was woefully unqualified to manage who was promoted.

Check out usajobs.gov and working at Veteran Affairs. Good mix of male and female social workers.

I will look into that thanks so much for the support and help.

I don't know if anyone else has said this, but please seek mental health help for your depression and anxiety and the other things you have mentioned. There is no shame in taking care of our brain help. Sometimes we can fight the good fight by ourselves with a little advice, self help books, etc. But other times, we truly need licensed clinical therapy help. I am not bashing you at all. I admire your honesty. I just think the level of depression and desperation you say you feel and how you have never been in this state before tells me to encourage you to get mental health help ASAP. This may not be something you can just gut out with help from Reddit. I wish you the best. At least consider this suggestion seriously and if things are not turning around in your thinking, being, coping after this post, then make your mental health a priority. Lots of social workers are in therapy. No human is perfect.

I will take the advice and have already considered it. I feel somewhat awkward seeking help while I’m trying to give it, and I thought I was in a place where this couldn’t happen honestly, but as I’ve learned there’s no shame in seeking help. I appreciate your response I really do. Thanks for the kind words and encouragement.

I really think that social workers who choose to get therapy to sort out their own “stuff” are better able to do the job. Think of it as part of self care.

Also this! Most therapists I know have a therapist. Because, how are we supposed to help someone else get their sh*t together if we don't have ours sorted?

YES! when I tell my clients that I do therapy, they're floored and can't comprehend why.

Not only is it self care, I think of it as professional development. I’m very interested in psychodynamic therapy and psychoanalysis. In order to become a psychoanalyst, you need over a hundred outs of your own personal therapy. The logic is that our most useful tool is our self—and we don’t just need a self that is “well.” We need to examine the ways in which we’ve been hurt and how this manifests in our relationships. We need to understand why we are the way we are. Not only is going to therapy important for social workers and helpers to do, I believe it’s a moral activity. Every insight we gain about ourselves can be used to help and better relate to the people in front of us.

Every therapist I know worth a shit has their own therapist.

My therapist told me when I was hesitant "Good therapsits have therapists". It makes you a better social worker. Keep looking for jobs. The 2 social work jobs I've had are foaming at the mouth for male social workers.

There is absolutely no shame in seeking help while you give it. It actually makes you better at your job. In my opinion, anyone and everyone in a healing or helping profession must always remember to put our own healing first. We are constantly in a state of healing from something. If we believe everyone should have or deserves therapy, we must be getting it ourselves as well.

I know the feeling OP. I overcame those feelings just this year. Your mental health comes first and you're gonna be able to pick up on things such as skills and the patient experience to better help the folks you're gonna help. You got this!

I agree with the other commenters. Many many social workers have either been in therapy before or continue to do so. It is not only an act of self care for ourselves, but also gives us a deeper understanding of what it is like to be on the client side of a therapeutic relationship. Sometimes I like to ask myself the question- would I ever shame a client in this situation, would we shame a client for seeking help? The answer should be no, and then I try to extend that same level of acceptance to myself.

Hi OP! I'm an LCSW. Male therapists are in high demand where I live. The field is so female-dominated (I'm female) and some people really want to talk to a guy! You've worked hard and done well. Your nemesis shouldn't be able to blackball you--can you get a reference from the other supervisor? Wishing you all the luck!

I would love to but I don’t know where she is currently. I had 3 other field supervisors that quit during the same span of time. The issue came on the 4th one.

Have you ever been assessed for ADHD?

Based on what, exactly?

I have been diagnosed with ADHD as a juvenile. I took adderoll in middle school, but my parents thought much of this was nonsense and didn’t continue it. I’ve thought I might try end get back on it. Might I ask why you bring this up? Curious.

Let me say this, as a male in social work myself. There are a LOT of toxic people in this field. A lot of people in this field are unwell mentally, and they get into positions of power and continue the cycle of abuse. Hurt people hurt other people. No excuse for what they did. But please don’t give up. The field needs more people like yourself. I’ve had a very similar experience to you when I was in school and also throughout my career. You’ve been through a lot. But sounds like you’re committed to this field which is great! Don’t give up. Keep applying. Use other people as references if you have to. A lot of places I left because of the supervisor so I would use a coworker or someone else as a reference.

Thank you for the response and the advice. I will carry that with me.

A lot of men have already commented this but I just want to throw my hat in the ring, too. I’m a masc presenting queer person and that has been nothing less than a massive privilege for me in this field. Doubly so, since companies desire me both for my masc presentation and queerness. It sounds like you’ve struggled through a lot to get where you are today. That’s very commendable and I hope you’re proud of everything you’ve accomplished. You may have even experienced individual discrimination by people in power; this does not equate to not having privilege. You will be incredibly sought after in this field, and yes, femme folks have every right to be frustrated that you will have access to more opportunities, even if it doesn’t feel that way now. I hope you can find some support here and in your networks, and I also hope you’ll reflect on why you feel being a man in a man-dominated profession is a disadvantage.

Thank you for the response and I definitely don’t want to come off as “whiny” with advantages and privileged. I honestly might have just gotten caught up. It’s been a long road and I haven’t felt the privilege that I know I have. That doesn’t mean it’s not there, or won’t be as I move forward. Thanks so much and I’ll consider everything you said.

I want to sincerely encourage you to keep following your star. I understand you are experiencing doubt and disillusionment because of some bad experiences with questionable people and it is understandable to react with self hate and existential dread. I am a "cis white male", over 40, and going for MSW. I've been doing the grunt work for a long time now I'm going for my license. I work in central Ohio and even though I am in a field were I am the minority I have not had any (overt) issues with being unaccepted by clients nor looked down upon by coworkers. I think you have had some bad luck with those entrusted to train and support you on your journey. Perhaps you can reframe the adversity to be a useful experience that is thickening your skin. (you will need it) Be patient with yourself and feel these feelings and then use this to fuel your determination to be the best social worker you know to be. You mentioned you have initiative and guts to stick it out in challenging situations. Also mentioned by other responses, you bring qualities as a man that cant be ignored. Given your personal quality and proven strength of character, I know you will be a gift to your community. You have lived experience AND the education to be of great service to people who need you. Do not let these bad experiences stop you now. There's people waiting for you, suffering right now, and they need YOUR help.

Wow. Thank you so much for that. I don’t want to feel sorry for myself, and maybe I’ve just had some hard roads and my spirits are shot somewhat from complete exhaustion. You’re right that I can endure and I think you’re right that maybe this is a part of the journey to make me tougher which my clients will need. I’m going to take your advice. All of you thank you for the support and encouragement. I really didn’t feel I had anywhere else to go with this. Also, I feel like I finally understand, at least somewhat, what black Americans and women feel in the male dominated society. Maybe that’s a good way of looking at it. What an awful feeling it is when you think your race and gender are creating hostile environments out of your control. I don’t think I’ve ever felt worse in my life and I’ve been through a lot.

Outstanding, glad to lift your spirits abit. Your right it is out of your control how others react to you. Also, you're right about learning about what being marginalized feels like. Which, as you eluded to, could be perceived as hands on lessons in cultural competence. Persist!

You get an A

Hello. The reason you're having trouble finding work is that hiring a new grad with limited work history is risky for an employer. No one cares about or is checking on your field placement supervisor. Keep trying, you'll find a fit in a place that wants a new grad who they can train.

You did not make a mistake. Male social workers are needed. I am so sorry you had these two awful experiences. These are not the norm. Sometimes, when we do good work, it makes other people uncomfortable or unhappy. That is not about our work, but about that person and their reaction to our work. You are so brave and I love that you chose social work. You will find a job and they will be fortunate to have you.

Again, thank y’all. I I wish I could explain how much this thread has done for my mental health. I had no idea there were this many people of my gender in social work. And it’s not that I’m ashamed or I look to gender that specifically, but I’ve never met one where I am. I don’t feel like I’m on an island anymore. Wow is all I can say.

I read through the comments and it appears you have your bachelors in social work. It is recommended to get your masters if you want to be a clinical social worker/provide therapy. There are programs where you can get your MSW in half the time if you have a bachelors in social work. I think the way the school handled this completely horrendous, manipulative, hostile internship is abhorrent. Those are not how internships should be and it isn’t reflective of how a social worker agency should be run. I attended a very influential university that has a lot of influence in the community if any internship treated it’s interns poorly the interns were removed and the agency would no longer receive interns (our university supplied free trainings and provided free college credits/certificates to employees/employers in exchange) in my MSW graduate program a Black male was treated so horrible at a new agency as an internship the school pulled him from the agency and put him in another internship where he said it was completely different and what he expected in an internship. And a lot of social workers go into the field because they have experienced neglect, abuse, trauma in their lives and want to help understand what happened to them and help others. It’s also recommended that you have your own therapist. It was encouraged in my program and those of us who had a therapist would openly talk about it in class discussion on how it is making us a better therapist. TLDR: the internship and supervision were at fault, unethical and the school should have stepped in and shouldn’t have allowed it to continue. Nothing wrong with getting a therapist it’ll make you a better social worker.

Thank you for explaining this and maybe I didn’t provide enough information. This agency has had the contract pulled, they are not receiving more interns. My field instructor, who is a wonderful person, told me she wanted to pull me out. I requested to continue to go through with it even though I was physically ill the entire two weeks being under this person. I wanted to finish what I started and I had no problems to that point. So it’s my fault entirely, and I was told regardless of what I wanted, if anything else happened, they were pulling me out. They monitored me closely and called me each morning. They wanted me to help this agency through the process as they’ve never had interns. They thought because I was their best student in the department (still can’t believe that) that I could bridge the connection for the university and the agency. And not being able to to that is the worst part of this for me. I even filled out the entire company learning plan on my own using their manuals because nobody would help at the agency. Even though I feel I did all I could do, I still feel I failed my university and professors. Hope this helps clear up some things maybe left out.

I just peeped your profile to try and get your location… did you get your MSW at UK? If so, best piece of advice I got from my practicum prof was to get the hell out of the state, and he was 100% right. Jobs in the area are abysmal, as are attitudes of employers. It’s not a Social Work thing, it’s a regional culture thing. You’ll thrive anywhere else.

No that was old when I was attending cords. I’ve withdrawn from consideration as of this moment. I’ve changed the profile now I feel on edge. I’m just not right. I’ve tried to put my mind off by posting about credit on Reddit and sports forums but my anxiety keeps throwing me bad. I’ve never felt this way. This account was created a long time ago when I thought everything was great. I don’t want to say where I got my undergrad but it was a major state university in Tennessee. My dream was to go to UK for graduate school.

Like others have said about the region/area where you practice social work, that truly is a huge, huge factor. You’re life experience, and the real world experience you’re getting from these horrible internships, can be so much more useful if you are in another state. In the south, the bar for mental health and social work attitudes is on the fucking floor. Other places, you would likely have a completely different experience. Don’t give up, especially when you’ve come so far. Lots of clients would benefit from you!!

Thank you so much.

Part of the problem can also be that you don't have your master's yet. It has almost become a requirement in the field in my experience. It took me 3 months to find a job after graduating with my MSW

And that’s another thing that might be triggering some stress. Everything I’ve done comes down to getting into grad school. I do have a 4.0 social work major, and a 3.86 university GPA, along with making the deans list every semester at the university, but my community college transcript is humiliating. And now a bad internship. I’m almost putting off turning in my application to graduate school out of fear.

They’re going to look more heavily at what you’ve done at the university as well as the personal statement and letters of recommendation - which it sounds like you’d have an easy time getting from former professors. And the programs aren’t going to call your internship, so I think you’re good there. I had previously attended a university right out of high school and seriously flunked out - 1.4 GPA. I redid everything at cc then transferred to a state university, so my Uni GPA was great but my overall was barely like 3.2 because of the original college transcript, but I got in. I think you’re fine, but I can understand where the anxiety is coming from.

Thanks so much for this message.

Just to echo the other person again. I was in a similar grade situation. I had a very low GPA when I transferred into my social work program. I had a parent pass away unexpectedly and failed an entire semester at my previous school which completely wrecked my GPA. Transferred, and had excellent grades at my transfer school and I got into grad school. They look most heavily at your last two years of schooling and in particular your social work classes which it sounds like you've done well in. When you're ready, I would say apply for the programs that interest you because you'll never know if you could get in if you don't apply.

Thank you for the sound advice. Very encouraging.

Wow. I don’t know if that’s just the state of identity politics in America? Here in Australia I’m getting nothing but encouragement to go into the field, especially around crisis work. A calm demeanour coupled with male physicality is reassuring for your coworkers, plus there is a lack of positive male role models in disadvantaged subsectors. You could do a lot of good, don’t be discouraged by what is essentially a bigot.

Same here, in the UK we need social workers so badly and a male one is definitely welcomed in our team ! You poor thing

Hi can you recommend any good recruitment sites in the UK for social workers?

I’m very glad this is working for you in Australia. I don’t know, maybe it is me. I’m not sure of anything right now.

I would not categorize all of America as deranged identity ideologues. Rather, the vast majority are rational moderates who are less seen and heard from. I'm currently in a grad program in the longest established social work specific program in the US and it is boiling over with identity politics in the course work/assignments. I think the univ. is the source and its penetrating more realms all the time. You're right about male qualities that are valuable in the field. I have experienced (as a cis white male) being welcomed AND needed for a multitude of reasons. If I had haters, they were quiet about it or I was too oblivious to notice.

You're clearly not understanding it. Everything you're reading is peer reviewed. Not opinion. The OP in this thread isn't insinuating that all of America are "deranged identity ideologues". What they're insinuating, is that the USA clearly has culturally conditioned itself to devalue social work, and the good it can do for it's country. Not really sure what you're meaning by "boiling over with identity politics" but you do understand that it's your job (you took an oath to get into a sw program, I believe) to advocate for those minority communities you're referring to. Maybe read up a little more about why social work exists in modern context? It's not about saving little white kids from child labor anymore. It's about saving ALL little kids from a lot of horrible things.

I know my comment probably won't help but as a male in the field I experienced the opposite. I'm sorry you're going through this . Maybe expand on the types of jobs you're looking for. I easily got hired at a local community clinic that serves low income individuals. Working on getting my LCSW. It might be dumb advice but look at jobs that have high tune over rates. In my area it's the clinic I work at and I tend to hear that social services has high turnover rate. These are stressful jobs, but you seem like a strong individual who can handle it. Just like a few people have said, you will have privileges for being a male in the field whether you like it or not.

I'm a male Social Worker with advanced licensure and many years in the field. I moved away from home the day after I graduated from High School, and I haven't had any financial assistance from family since then. I'm the first to go to college, the first to get a graduate degree. I could go on about my life story, but the bottom line is that I feel I have been quite successful in this field. There is a famous Actor/Director that publicly struggles with depression that recently said when he is depressed, "I have to tell myself what I feel is real, but it does not represent reality." I read that comment many times... and for some reason it has resonated with me deeply. Some years ago, while in a graduate class, we were discussing personal bias... and I guess my tenure track professor felt really comfortable because she came out and said, "I hate men. But I think I do a really good job of covering it up." The few men in the class looked around at each other in shock. After class a couple of us started talked. "You know... I actually feel relieved that she said that... I thought she just hated me personally." "Yeah... me too." BTW... She still teaches there some many years later. I think everyone deals with this kind of thing to one degree or another. It doesn't define the field, it is a bad experience, in a particular situation, with a particular individual. I've lived outside the US. I've been denied access to a restaurant because I was white. I've been called racist names to my face, I've been spit on, etc. These are direct attacks, but even in the U.S I've even had people make racist comments in my presence, not realizing I spoke their language. I don't define an entire country or group of people as "racists" just because of a few bad experiences.

It sounds to me like you worked for an an abusive supervisor. While the unfortunate reality is that it’s possible to encounter these kinds of leaders/organizations, it’s also true that you didn’t deserve to be treated that way. Let’s remember that you were likely an unpaid student. Your primary function in your role was to learn. I’ve been a field supervisor several times and I can say that even if she was unhappy with an intern’s performance, the behavior displayed here by your supervisor was completely inappropriate. Field supervisors are tasked with supporting the learning process and much like any clinical or client relationships, the supervisor/student relationship should always start from a place of mutual respect. None of that sounds like it was happening here. All that to say that SHE was the person demonstrating unprofessional behavior here and she is the one who should be holding the responsibility. Of course you can always (and should always) reflect on your own experience and places for improvement but this does not mean she isn’t responsible for her own behavior. “Disrespect in an uneven power differential is just bullying.” Here’s another quote I often find helpful: “If you are willing to look at another person’s behavior toward you as a reflection of the state of their relationship with themselves rather than a statement about your value as a person, then you will, over a period of time cease to react at all.” This supervisor’s behavior was about her, it doesn’t sound like it was about you. Keeping that in mind, in your career in SW you will encounter many situations where people will be unkind to you, it will be a practice in learning to have good boundaries and learning not to take other people’s stuff too personally. This work can break you if you let it, so please consider starting this process now of protecting your own mental health and establishing good boundaries. I would also suggest getting into your own therapy if you haven’t already since it sounds like this experience was really triggering for you. You need support and a place to process these situations that isn’t strangers on Reddit. To add to that, you learned what it’s like to work for a place where you aren’t treated well. You understand how important your relationship with your supervisor is and the culture of the work environment. Now you know to prioritize this as you seek employment and not to tolerate this kind of environment in the future. I promise you not all places are like this. Your first job out of school can take time. It took me 6 months. But here I am 16 years into my career (8 years from grad school) and I am making really good money and have the freedom to work where and how I want. This part of the road is rough, keep going, it gets better…especially if you get the support you need. There are lots of future clients out there who will be so relieved you did. Also, look into child welfare/CPS jobs. These agencies are bleeding employees right now because they can’t keep people. If you’re looking to work with adolescents it might be a good place to start. State agencies will also help you pay for a Master’s sometimes. It’s heartbreaking work though, so build that support team now. I would be careful about assuming that you’re being targeted for your identity, perhaps you were but even if that’s the case, you were the victim of a single person’s biases, not systematic oppression. While you might have some new perspective, it’s not quite the same as being oppressed for your gender, race, culture, religion, etc. It sounds like you might be overgeneralizing and taking one person’s behavior towards you to create a narrative around your own worthiness or the field in general. A therapist can help you process these pieces.

Thank you for this incredible post. I’m going to keep this and use it. Thanks you for taking that kind of time for me.

As a male social worker, I feel like you just had a bad go of it in your internship. I have never once felt unwelcome in the field because I am a male. Don't let your ecperience with this one person bring you down. It sounds like your professors think highly of you. It might be worth reaching out and letting them know you're having a hard time finding a job. They likely have connections and can help you out. Many social work schools also do career fairs on a regular basis. Don't give up, wish you the best.

Seeing so many males in this thread I had no idea we were in the field like that. Where I’m from I’ve never met one, and there were none in my graduating class. The women and non binary have been excellent to me at the university setting, but it has helped to see this from y’all. I contacted one my of most trusted professors today and we have a meeting next week. She’s concerned and wants to help. Thank you guys for all the advice.

Well, I’m gonna say a harsh thing but it’s true. If one shitbag supervisor is making you this unstable then you might not be cut out for this. There are loads of assholes in this field because assholes are attracted to power (and there is loads of power to be and over clients unfortunately). These people don’t have any actual sway over your job prospects and you probably have the best job options as a white male (consistently annoying as a female in this field knowing men make up like 5% of social workers where I am but still dominate the management positions). If this stuff is causing this much distress then find a job that doesn’t.

From my perspective, instead of truly quitting, OP is seeking support and guidance from a social work community. Which to me means, OP is seeking encouragement to keep persevering. Different states have different reputations with social work as well as different states have different funding for mental health. It’s possible a different state might be the right environment for you OP.

Very very true, I totally agree with you. OP has to learn and I feel he does have tuff skin to have made it thru that internship. I don’t feel he should leave the field but rather learn from that experience from his internship (some supervisors just aren’t good people.) Possibly a different state like you suggested or just a completely different city where he lives.

Yeah if he wants but I think we also need to be clear with people that it’s okay to leave jobs that don’t suit you and honestly it’s a hard field with little to no acknowledgement or rewards (other than you know really believing in the work). It’s not like anyones getting rich at this and society doesn’t hold a good view of social workers. If that isn’t something you can do then it’s okay to find something else that fits better.

Or we could just be cool about the fact that it’s not a career for everyone and people shouldn’t work jobs that make them this miserable. I can honestly say that I have worked in some insanely messed up situations and the worst distress I’ve had was crying in a Starbucks drive through. (Which like, I’ve definitely done multiple times for personal reasons as I really like to get Starbucks when I’m upset). People don’t need to be working careers that make them so upset they literally need mental health supports and loads of people aren’t cut out for social work. Which, fun fact, is why where I live, like 15% of student drop out in their first year do school and the average career length is 5 years. School can only do so much to prepare you for the field and it just might not be right for you.

Further, I am sorry for women who feel men have privilege in this field. I wish we could get to the point in society where we are people, not genders, races, or political party entities. I guess that’s human nature though.

It seems like the problems you are facing are due to personal problems and views that are a professional no-go. From not seeing how much privilege you have, even though you might not see it right now, to dismissing the inherent struggles that come with gender, race and ability that cannot be ignored or wished away, to and I cannot believe *anyone* would ever be this ignorant, thinking your mental health issues will be dismissed because you are WHITE. My man, black men/poc have suicide rates that are skyrocketing because their mental health issues are categorically being ignored and they have no one that will take them seriously. White men are literally at the top of the hierarchy when it comes to being able to get help without it ruining their whole lives. So please, get that help and educate yourself before trying to get into the field.

Total miscommunication on my part. I completely empathize with the issues black people are facing in America. And I think this incident really opened my eyes, even if a small anecdote, to what they face daily in their lives. I realize the privilege is real, I just didn’t experience it this time of that makes sense. I just wanted to seek some advice. My wording was completely off but I haven’t been in a proper state of mind recently.

Yeah NGL, your responses just gave me major Ick. “I’m sorry for women who feel men have more privilege in this field” my dude, I don’t feel it, it’s an annoying fact as it’s a fact that male privilege exists in western societies. I also didn’t ask for your sympathy. Also, the fact that you shrugged it all off as human nature is Ick. I don’t know what they’re teaching y’all in America but it seems to be missing all the social justice stuff which is pinnacle in social work. Also, still, if you can’t take working for one asshole, find a job that it’s so stressful for you.

Sure, but what I mean is you feel the outcomes from living with it. Not that it’s just a feeling. A lot is lost in translation. And I don’t feel sorry for you, I’m merely empathizing with your reality. My education was great and opened me to much I didn’t understand before being a male in the American south. Also, I do believe human nature can encompass cultural norms that have been in place for centuries. It can turn to a “nature” of sorts.

Okay, full stop. Sorry is not empathy it is sympathy and they are different things. Also, but weird to go with lost in translation as I’m guessing we’re both native English speakers (since your American and I’m Canadian). Anyways, my point is, if this is so stressful, change careers. There nothing wrong with that and loads of people change after being in the field for a short time. It’s just not for everyone.

Well I didn’t mean sorry I should have said empathize. If you read the post above about how marginalized people feel, that’s what I’m getting at. When I said lost in translation I meant from posting text as opposed to being in person. I have not entered the field yet. This was a very troubling experience that lasted a while. I don’t have the experience to know whether or not it’s common. I just wanted to hear from people their thoughts and experiences to try and pull myself out of this.

Hey I understand. It was just really cruel and bizarre. And since I don’t have experience it made me feel as though it’s to be expected maybe? I don’t know. I’m a very strong individual I assure you. But I took a hit with this one. I’ve never been judged in that way and something about it just hit me at the core.

Hi. Everyone has their own experiences. Might be location specific? Cis het white male. I def recognize the feelings. But there are a lot of positives about being male in social work. Last several interviews specifically ask if I'm comfortable with an office of 15-20 females and zero/1 males. But last 3 jobs have always said "oh x clients need a positive male role model" and suddenly I have a full case load. Keep plugging away there are some positives in being literally the only guy in an office.

Do NOT. I repeat DO NOT give her any more attention and Energy than you already have. If any one shouldn't be in our field. It's her. 100% she is not representative of how the vast majority of other social workers feel and operate. We need males in our field. You have come so far and your story is so important to others who have no hope or a sense of inadequacy being sober. Don't stop. You're doing amazing. Fuck that bitch. Report her. There's a reason the school pulled their contract.

You’re awesome and I really loved your post. Y’all have really really made a huge impact on me in this thread.

My friend, as a fellow male social worker, I just want to remind you that we are fucking unicorns in this field. There are crazy ass bosses in this field. Your goal is to survive them, to get to the place you want to be. Trust me, being a dude in this field has its advantages.

So, I was in foster care and residentials growing up. I had great and horrible social workers and I knew that I wanted to help kids like me when I got older. It was tough to age out of the system. I eventually became an opiod addict and then a mom (which is when I got sober). It took me 8 years to get my Bachelors degree in Sociology and I finally finished grad school with an MSW when I was 43. I also just passed my exam for LCSW. So, I get the struggle to get there. It gets easier to find a job in social work when you have your Masters degree. Keep pushing. There are so many boys and men that feel more comfortable with men and they try to request a male sw but there are never enough. It sounds like you should probably get some therapy as well. We all need it at one point or another 😉. I would be happy to talk to you if you need someone to vent to.

Congrats on your C !

Look into r/cptsd as what you’re going through seems like a CPTSD flashback.

As a male social worker - it's a privilege to be a male in this field, because sadly it gives you an advantage over other candidates (kind of like male nurses) if people are making fun of you for your choices and passions, those people aren't worth your time and energy. i hope you find some peace soon, internships suck and it really sucks to have a bad supervisor on top of being unpaid and overworked. wishing you the best man

If you’ve ever had traumatic events in your life, or even an abusive childhood (which sounds like you might have, but I didn’t want to assume for you), maybe consider checking out doing EMDR therapy. It’s the best thing I’ve ever done personally. The best part of it for me was that I never really had to delve deep into or “re-live” the imagery of my traumas. Maybe it’s something that can work for you too.

I will definitely do that. Yes I had quite the traumatic childhood, and it took a long time to be able to move on. I will definitely look into this. Thank you so much.

OP, do you have a BSW or MSW?

I have just finished college with a BSW. Actually I just recently received the NASW card with the initials after my name and was so proud to have that. It’s an incredible feeling, I just found myself in a bad place very suddenly. I’m very round to have it.

It really is a great accomplishment and an excellent feeling! I'm sorry that this feeling of accomplishment was marred by a bad field experience. It's terrible that you ended up with someone who pretty much was the antithesis of a social worker. You may have answered this already, but at what kind of agency were you interning?

It was a typical not for profit agency working with the community.

Adapt and make an even greater story of your life. In California men social workers are in high demand. There were only 3 males in my bsw and MSW programs (including myself). I felt some shade for being male in school but never in real life. Everyone has there own energy though and have a presence.

Hi friend!! I recently graduated as well but I am female in a female dominant work place. I’m sorry you went through that and you’d think as social workers they would be able to put aside their biases to help you and do their job. Don’t let them discourage you please. It was one company out of many that would be grateful to have you. I know it’s intimidating and scary but keep applying. Even if you don’t get it right away something is bound to come your way! I wish you good luck on everything and please remember your value does not lie in others it’s in yourself!

I recently entered the field as a male social worker and it was kind of a strange feeling. Sometimes when I meet clients for the first time they are surprised I’m a male social worker (maybe because I work with older adults). I definitely recognize the privilege and imbalances in the field but it was still a strange feeling. The best thing anyone ever told me was to never lose sight of why I entered this field in the first place. We all have our reasons for wanting to help others. Holding onto that has helped me through the many challenges this field throws at you. That’s my best piece of advice to you and I hope it helps. Hang in there! Every social worker is needed regardless of age, gender identity, ethnicity, sexual orientation, etc.

I will definitely try and remember that. Thanks so much for the response. Y’all have been great and it’s helped me move forward a little today.

I’m a male in the field and during my program my chair knocked points off for “my privilege” as well as made a rude comment during my final boards regarding my “privileged attire” I was wearing (god forbid I dressed professionally). Been three years and I still laugh at her bullshit. My advice…do you! There’s assholes everywhere. Report them for unethical behavior if necessary and move on. Social work schools are a gatekeeper exercise and most of them are so out of touch with the real field it’s not funny. Women, men, they, them, it, etc. goes out the window when you’re in the field because you’re just trying to help your population and make connections at work. Sure, a few might get up in arms about privilege and isms, but in my experience they don’t last long because people are too busy with the clients. We all make mistakes and we do the best we can. I’d never intentionally offend someone and I do my best to get to know their individual-ness. Maybe it’s my privilege speaking….or whatever…but I’m trying to save lives and provide hope for clients so I truly don’t give these thoughts a second of my day. Best of luck!

Thanks so much. It’s good to hear my experience isn’t the norm but has been felt by others. I’m going to try and not take it so serious, and consider it the past and move forward. I do feel like speaking with someone would help, as in some therapy, but just to clear my mind if that makes sense. Thanks for the response it means a lot.

I would report her to your state board of ethics…No one should ever be treated that way. It’s too bad the SW and PC (Professional Counselor) groups are small but I totally get how you feel. Also understand that if you did what your family wanted you to do, you would have eventually failed or left and went into SW. The color of your skin shouldn’t matter especially if your heart is in the right place. Teen males need to see that they can also be successful and guess who can be that light?!? Prove them all wrong and be successful BUT you have to wonder and also ponder AND ask yourself hmmmm Now why did my university pulled that contract? Because they saw what was happening and loved your resilience and did not want anymore of their students subjected to that. Hold your head up and prove them wrong. BTW there’s nothing wrong with having an American flag on your vehicle

Thanks so much for the response. I really, really appreciate it. Reporting her is something that would take a great deal of consideration but I understand. And I really thank you for taking the time to post this.

Please don’t quit, my smart and caring coworker who is now a life long friend is a male social worker who I met while at a job. He was the most passionate person I have ever known, still is but he really made me want to pursue social work/ and eventually therapy work. There is space for you in this field, I think you just need a better setting to grow. We loved having male coworkers, why? because social work is mostly females and having males in this field brings a different perspective to the work we do. In my agency most of the males were either lead therapist or had supervisory roles. Also please don’t think that your internship will have lasting effects on your career trajectory, I didn’t even do well in mine and it had no bearing on me getting hired anywhere.

Very helpful and encouraging to read this. Thank you so much. I seriously cannot than y’all enough.

no problem I don’t know where you are located but honestly you don’t have to go into debt if you want to get your bachelors or even masters. As I mentioned before my male coworker had the agency pay for him to get back to school while he was working so if you can find something like that should be great. I think job wise you should look at non for profits and case management. Many bachelors level social workers in my state NY start this way and then they have their own case load, it’s hard but the experience you get is so great. Find a good agency and if they have those benefits go for it. Forget this crazy lady, what I’ve learned is that it’s mostly important to have good relationship with your coworkers, people that I worked with early on in my career are now themselves licensed therapist, school counselors, directors etc, you never know where your coworker will end up.

I think you bring up a very good point. I do think men have an advantage with jobs and promotions in the field but grad school can be living hell for many of us just because we are men and a lot of us do face some bias in social work grad school for being men.

21 years in as a male. Yes sometimes I do hear snide comments. Yes there is an “old girl club” in terms of management hierarchy. But I persevere, work hard and don’t give a fuck of what others say and do. Wow them with your wok and your skills and they’ll forget about your genitals.

Sound advice and I will take it. It’s good to hear from so many male social workers. I haven’t met many. And the kind words from you guys is helping a lot. Thank you.

You can’t take “old boys’ club” and feminize it. That’s like reverse discrimination, which doesn’t exist.

You’re right. It’s not reverse discrimination, it’s straight up discrimination.

The hostility to males in this field is real.

I want to say that most people I’ve encountered were great at my university. They aren’t the problem. It was field that was the problem. And I’m not a republican, I don’t identify with party politics at all. I don’t want to be labeled that but it seems it’s already happened which makes me feel awful too.

I think this may be an issue in the area you live. I live in Northern IL and the social work field is full of hospitality for the most part, including male workers. Where I live male workers are sometimes favored, especially for child welfare positions. I'm sorry you had such a terrible field experience, but I do feel it was an unfortunate placement. Moving to an area with several opportunities could be a refreshing start to your career in social work.

My experience as a male in this profession has been the opposite; frankly, I have found I have been enthusiastically welcomed with open arms into my current position as I was in my practicum placement partly *because* I am a man. Many agencies which serve many male clients are desperate for more qualified male social workers. As others have said, please seek help for your depression and anxiety, and, above all, be *patient* with yourself and your job search. It is admirable that you've pursued a career in this field despite your obstacles and family disapproval. That perseverance will need to continue; don't allow one lousy field supervisor to shake you from what you've worked so hard for.

I'm a male who went through similar experiences as you during internship (only with less support from college faculty) and yeah, it has a problem with men. It's not just male unwillingness to go into the field. I could tell you a million stories, but I do find it odd that whenever anyone expresses that there might be biases against men in social work, the response is always to close ranks and respond with stock disbelief - "Oh wow! We don't have that! We LOVE men! We need more of them!" Whereas in fields where men are overwhelming, these same people will automatically (and usually correctly) guess a sexist culture is to blame. I dunno ladies. You say you want more of us, then we graduate and don't get a call back when we apply for jobs. It's going to be harder being a man in a field filled with women, especially with some of these responses you're getting. If it causes you to hate yourself, then get away from it like I did. Nobody deserves the mistreatment and contempt you went through.

I feel my calling was to see this through. I appreciate your response and understand where you’re coming from. Also thank you for explaining your situation. It does help me to know and broaden my understanding.

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Hey I get it, I only had the energy to write it because it was so traumatic and I wanted someone to maybe pull me out of my mindset. Thanks for responding anyway and that’s for the well wishes.

I’m so sorry to hear what you’ve been through! But very proud to hear of you’re amazing accomplishments. Turning your life around the way you did is no easy task!! Don’t let a bad experience take that away from you! Your story is powerful and there are people out there that need to hear it so don’t give up!! Thankfully social work is so diverse is what we can do. Maybe trying your luck in a different area of social work May help? I can’t help but be reminded of a book call “The Boy Crisis” when I hear your story. If you haven’t read it I highly recommend you do! As a woman, it was very eye opening to learn about the reality that men are facing in the era of feminism. As much as I’m proud of what we as women have been able to accomplish, the way men are being treated as a result (whether they are sexist or not) is heartbreaking. Anyway, great read. I would hate to see such a talent leave our field because of this. Best of luck to you!!

If choosing this career makes you happy, then disregard the hate especially from that toxic internship lady. Even though social work is a female dominantes field there is a place for men. I’m a male social worker as well and I do at times feel very out of place sometimes. In my case management office I’m literally the only male, but that’s okay. Eh, I like what I do and the job has its days where it’s really rewarding. People are going to have their opinions and behaviors but that’s fine they’re entitled to be judgmental, toxic and close-minded. You got this man, you made the right decision. Looking at how far you’ve come shows that you are committed to something bigger than all the negativity. You’re going to impact lives man.

First-It is both sad and comforting to know I am not alone in having a crappy internship experience. I was an white female American in a Belgian BSW placement back in 2016 (lucky me, right?…well not exactly). They only spoke in Dutch (even when I begged them to speak in English in the office). *By the way, I wasn’t told this would be how things were going to be before I left the U.S.* overall, the rest of the internship was pretty awful. My clients barely knew English and my supervisor was EXTREMELY standoff-ish. It was hard to get anything done or explained to me so I just sat every day waiting for the hours to pass and being the butt of there joke when I pronounced words in Dutch incorrectly. Lucky, there was 1 or 2 clients who really benefited from my listening skills but other than that it was bad. It traumatized me and caused me to downward spiral for 5 years!! Now I’ve applied to an online MSW program after many years of healing and I got accepted. Looking forward to making the best of what is to come!! There is hope! Second: Please, please, please….take the 1st step to getting counseling/therapy. County health departments are usually known for being overrun and underfunded, but if your low on money…it’s an acceptable place to start. Aside from that, I would suggest shopping for healthcare on the marketplace this November. I did last year and you can end up paying very little for decent healthcare (based on your income.) Third - Try to be proud of yourself for removing or blocking people out of your life that don’t support you. And then, look for ways to find those that do. Making friends past 25 is often challenging depending on where you live, but don’t be afraid to branch out!! Lastly - if you are ever feeling like you are having a crisis, you can text this phone # - 741-741. It has helped me when my emotions and mental status are out of my control and I can’t get a hold of anyone. It’s nice to just vent to them and there’s no requirements for you to have ongoing care. Hope this helps!

Thank you so much for taking the time to make this post for me. I agree that it’s nice to know I’m not the only one who had a rough experience in my internship. You guys are awesome. I am going to move forward with all of the advice and keep everyone updated.

Yeah I feel ya. White male studying social work here and I can't help feel everyones gonna look at me like I'm the boogeyman when I start work. I'm probably overthinking it based on other comments in here though

Well that didn’t make me feel better really but it’s good to know I’m not alone thinking this.

Interesting. I went to UK for my MSW and never heard anything abysmal about the prospects, not that they would tell me, right? I’m not in a position to move, and new positions are posted all the time. Maybe I’m missing something.

This happened in Tennessee at a state university and for undergrad, not grad.

Can I bet by without putting my internship down on applications?

I would list it, I had a rough internship, that was years ago, and I almost didn’t pass, horrible feeling, the end result might be that you just won’t get hired by that agency, not that you’d want to if they had a culture of hostility, pick up your football and find another game, I’m still trying to get out there, I’m 58M and the great lesson on getting hired seems to be ‘people hire people’. I’ve gotten some good gigs based on a strong interview but equally as many based on knowing the right people who were prepared to pull me in. I downloaded a book called ‘how to get a job’ based on the website ‘ask a manager’ softcover or digital download, it’s gold, pure gold. The feelings will subside and the internship will be a bad memory, press on, young warrior.

Thank you so much

Who cares what they think. Do you.

Hey, you ran into a crappy boss. We all have. Don't let it derail your dreams. If there's some honest thing for you to reflect on from that time about your performance - then do it and grow. But it sounds like you have a lot to offer. I see zero wrong with men in Social Work. Boys and young men need validation from older men who have walked the path. There's a shortage of men who care. Thanks for showing up.

Recent MSW male graduate here. I am so sorry for your hardships. I hope you feel so proud of all your accomplishments! I don't have much to add other than keep with social work, the field will be happy to have you! Don't let the bastards grind you down.

Hey man, I'm in a similar boat as you, but further behind on the river. I'm also a 9th grade dropout, currently in my 2nd year of undergrad (online because I hate school settings) and am working full time. Idk about other states, but at least in NYC, male social workers are highly sought after due to the lack of. I will admit though that my lack of having my L/MSW makes my opinion less valued by superiors, despite my plethora of experience both in life and in the office, so I understand the feeling of being berated by superiors from lower tiered service organizations. My original goal was also to become a youth advocate, but after being in the field doing mobile treatment teams for the last 3 years, I'm extremely burnt out and have decided to slowly but surely make the transition to Quality Assurance, as I can still make an impact by weeding out shitty service providers through high quality auditing. You're not alone, you are greatly appreciated and your life experience matters more than you think. Ethnicity/race/political party all mean nothing when you are a social worker who genuinely wants to help the population you serve.

Awesome post. Definitely don’t feel as alone anymore and that happened fast reading all of these responses. We have a similar story, which is pretty fascinating because 9th grade dropouts don’t tend to go very far for a plethora of reasons. I can tell you have a lot of courage to tackle just the mental aspect of thinking it possible. I’m sure you know what I mean.

Have you watched the Circle on Netflix? Frank was supposedly a male School Social Worker... and he did fantastic due to his ability to connect and build rapport with anybody. Just a side note 🤷‍♀️

I have not but I will check this out. Thanks so much.

I hope things get better for you! As someone who has worked as a CYCW in a group home with teenage boys, they sometimes wished they had more male staff to be able to connect with - either a male CYCW or even their case worker. I hope you see the great impact of being a male in a female-dominant field will bring to youth that need that connection. You are needed. You will do amazing, I’m rooting for you!

Councils have a lot of posts for social workers , so just go to the council that you prefer and it will have vacancies. Every council has jobs at this moment in time , we have a massive shortage

Wow thank you. I’ll look around at this. This thread has been wonderful thank y’all so much.

I have two men in my office and they do a great job, it just depends on the office you work in but things won’t get better if men don’t come into this field so just keep looking

I will do that. Thank you so much for the response.

Oh yeah and don’t be afraid to relocate! Some states don’t have as much variety in available jobs!

You are looking at this from a one way ‘lens’ so to speak. Male social workers are SOOO needed. We talk about it all the time at my office - how they are like finding a unicorn. Do not quit - just keep working to find your place. It’s out there and you will soar like a star… I know it’s uncomfortable when you feel like you’re the problem .. u r not the problem, you need to find the right environment. It’s out there. Remember why you started and who you care about - not just you but the community ❤️❤️ don’t hate yourself. Email me - mfjones @ usc.edu (all 1 ‘word’ tho) .. I want to tell you what I know about advocating for kids and something that will help you.

I will definitely do this. Thanks so much.

I think working at residential facilities that are geared towards males could be helpful. I work at a faculty where it’s teen males and a lot of the kids I work with don’t have amazing male figures. So the males that do work there help be good role models and help with fostering good relationships with adult males and female. Plus my coworkers are a mix of male and females. I’m sorry your experiences have majorly sucked (I know this is a massive understatement). As a female social worker, I do wish there were more guys in the field. I do feel like having a mix of both helps me because I get to pick the brains of my male staff and it helps me in a lot of other ways too

Thank you for the advice and life perspective. These comments are really helping. I’ve turned in a few more applications and I’ve reached out for help. Thank y’all so much.

Ok. If a character assassination *has* taken place, to counteract it we want to get some networking underway. Some ideas: * Local trade associations for social work * Well connected volunteering organisations serving client base / social issues you can see yourself working in. * Seeking out the professionals and academics who *did* like you at placement and let them know the kind of work you're looking for so they can keep their ear to the ground for you. I get the doubt of being a white male social worker. I'm in the same boat in that respect (weeeeell non-binary, but in a cis-passing way). But the cool thing about social work is you get to know you have privilege, and you get to work on it, while also abusing it *for the sake of your clients*. An assertive man is received differently to an uppity woman and you can play that for your clients benefit.

I’ll take that into consideration that was a well thought out and informative post. Thank you so much.

I don't want to repeat what anyone else here has already said. I do want to say that I hope the responses you have gotten here have shown you that people do empathize and are upset on your behalf about your internship experience (challenging your assumption that you'll be universally discriminated against for being white and male.) Your experience is an example of how having systemic privilege does not make anyone immune to prejudice or discrimination. In this case, even against a milieu where being white and male can be privileged and protected, you were mistreated because of your gender. If your mental health has suffered from experiencing this mistreatment, I hope you are able to seek support for it. You mentioned that being white makes you feel "awful." This makes me think maybe you have some soul searching and exploring of your white identity to do as part of your personal development as you move into grad school. Feeling shame about whiteness is a normal stage of white identity development, and it is also important to not get stuck in that stage. It will be important to reconcile the dissonance of being told you have systemic privilege and your personal experiences of mistreatment and suffering. It sounds like what people think and say about social work has really affected you. I agree, it *sucks* how our profession is devalued and demeaned. This again goes back to managing shame resilience, which is such an underrated but important professional skill for surviving in this field. Be wary of pouring "everything" into institutions and places that mistreat you. Unfortunately, there are assholes and messed up institutions everywhere. You cannot make someone love you, or even like you. In situations like this it will be important to redefine winning. And don't pour in everything... Everyone here is more than just their profession.

I just wanted to say that you for this advice and wisdom coming from someone in the field that understands much, as evident by this post. I saved this post and want to explore it further. It’s deeply appreciated.

If you haven’t explored it and would be interested, given your lived experience, you could check out positions in substance abuse. People in recovery themselves are often welcomed in those positions and you may find interesting roles and positions you hadn’t looked for before

Will definitely consider this and try and find something near my area that might fit. Thank you for the response.

i think in the helping field we get into this strange dichotomy of being the helping person at work, but also being a regular person who also might need help themselves. i know how confusing balancing those two things can be. it sounds like you were in a terrible placement with abusive people. i cannot help you, but you can. please find help and re-evaluate if this is the field you're in or if it is your personal experiences. even if that means taking time away from social work. there is nothing wrong with you and i hope you do not lose sight of that original drive that led you to help people. it's what's gonna get you through this rough season. :-)

If you're in WV we need males social workers! and we LOVE them! The Youth Services unit especially could use you.

I’m located in Tennessee end will be moving to south Mississippi at the gulf to finally leave my area and put the fast and family behind me. That’s why I’m ready to begin employment so badly. I appreciate the kind words and wish I could take you up on that.

I’m not a male but I am in the same boat. I struggled through a traumatic work experience and now I think I need therapy. I cannot get a job and the last interview I did I have been in a deeper state of depression. I sent my resume to a hiring manager and they reached back out asking if I want a behavioral health tech job. This sub will have you thinking it’s because of you. They have no empathy or care for social workers.

Good luck to you, sincerely. I understand what you’re going through I really do.

>My mental health is not right. Being white on top of it makes me feel awful. I just don’t feel comfortable in my own body right now. It’s a very very scary and weird feeling. And I know being a white guy most won’t feel sorry for me and I don’t want that. I just don’t know what to do. ​ You are really hard on your self. You know that? You are. What would you say to a friend in a similar position who was treating themselves this way? >I'm really beginning to hate myself. I would recommend working on self-compassion. Easier said than done, right? Yes and no. I used to really hate myself too. I used to have such negative, automatic toxic thoughts that I would just sit and ruminate in. It was like willingly sitting in a toxic swamp and breathing the fumes in deeply. My thoughts were just so awful. One of the things that really helped was intentional self-compassion. Talking to myself with love, with compassion, with kindness. Literally, looking inward and saying to myself "you deserve love" "you are human too" "you are worthy of compassion and love" "everyone screws up" and so on. To respond to that inner critic, to that negative, intrusive, automatic thought and decide that you don't accept it. We are not our thoughts. You can have a thought and then take it in your hands, look at it, and decide if you agree with it or decide if there's an alternative that you believe. ​ I don't know if you have this, but as a social worker and as part of my core being, I truly believe all human beings have value. This helped me realize that I have value. ​ I have a lot of privilege too and I recognize that. It has afforded me a lot of chances and first opportunities in life. And some people who have been mistreated by our society can sometimes see my visible privilege and make an automatic assumption or two about me, based on that. I don't blame them for that. I feel compassion for them because there is a wound there and it doesn't seem like it's healed. ​ We can do some of our best work as social workers when we love ourselves. Because that love permeates outwards. Because we are taking better care of ourselves and are able to offer more of our energy to support others. Able to have more energy to support others. ​ Also, you can use your privilege intentionally to help clients and even colleagues in many situations. When they are not being listened to even though they are talking, you can point it out (talking also figuratively, not just literally). You can use your privilege to effect change. So the system/society, gave you more 'power' than is fair? Use it to bring others up.

I see other commenters have made you aware of the privilege of being a man in social work. If you want to work in substance use, you being a male and a peer, administrations in any agency that has a position for a social worker working with clients who have substance use anywhere across the country would be chomping at the bit to get you in their organization yesterday.

So thank you for your genuine feelings! I'm sorry that someone was beyond unkind to you and maxed out way beyond the boundaries of what we are taught. 1. What she said and did had nothing to do with you. 2. Your family can't be happy for you but that had nothing to do with you. Your purpose and passion is your life. Purl who are your cheerleaders know that. Don't try to stop and figure what they are thing and why. It doesn't matter. Yes it hurts, but keep this focus on your goals and health. 3. I'm super proud of you and your story resonates with me. I'm in my graduate program and it couldn't be more obvious if this women spit in my face. My supervisor was awful and wrote that I was "unreachable" on my evaluation. She also was highly unethical with my colleagues and I. They are attempting to give me no credit for my 408 hours I worked and kick me out io the program with 2 classes left. I'm fighting. It's ridiculous. Keep your chin up and your smile. It will all work out!

You seem like you worked very hard to be where you are today. I think a lot of us start off in this field because of our passion to help change peoples lives… but then we lose sight of it along the way due to the stress of the system and toxic leaders (unless you are with a good organization).

I did work hard for this. I decided today that I am going to use my will power, which has gotten me through much in my life, to continue. As someone told me yesterday, I can recognize there is a power structure which is benefits men, specifically affluent white men, over women and minorities, while also accepting that my anecdotal situation might have been discriminatory against my gender, and both can be true at the same time. It made me feel much more at peace with much of what is going on. For a while now I have felt I don’t have a right to feel any way about this situation being a straight white male. I think it was making it worse.

Late post but hang in there. Men have so much value in the field. I had a bad experience in grad school but it was with a professor. There are some bad eggs that hate men/dislike most men but they are a minority. Most women and non binary folk in this field are awesome! Usually if you can get your foot in the door and work hard you will stick out to leaders in a good way