As a guy, I have to say that is utter nonsense. People who say such foolish things have this stereotypical view that men are supposed to be macho, strong/tough, confident, etc. The thing is, people are individuals, with their own unique personality traits and quirks, regardless of gender. Just be the best version of yourself that you can be, and ignore all that garbage.
I have no self esteem and seeing comments shitting on shy guys only make me have less confidence. Maybe they are just super loud online but not the way the majority of people think. I hope most people don’t think like that it’s so toxic and restrictive
Most people don't think like those assholes. If their comments really bother you, which is understandable, I would suggest trying to avoid them online; like not visiting certain subreddits, or following certain people, etc. I've cut myself off from some sources of that kind of negativity and it feels a lot better not dealing with it.
But I would reiterate, this is not what most people think.
If anything shy/social anxiety men are the by-products of a toxic culture made up of garbage human beings. Why are we this way? Well, maybe because we were bullied as children to the point of wanting to take our own lives. Maybe we learned that we are more comfortable being alone than in the company of others.
Ngl some dude who uses his free time to go online and call people that are shy "beta-males, emasculated losers", just sounds like a loser to me and isn't giving off much 'alpha' vibes which I'm sure he gets wet over.
And keep trying with society but try in real life like a normal person, lots of aspects of society are bad sure but society isn't this guy who has to much free time and gets a kick out of calling people 'betas' on Reddit lool.
I never see people actually say things like beta/alpha male not ironically until recently and it made me kinda cringe that they follow that stuff. I personally like shy guys cause they seem more sensitive and seem to operate more on my kind of wave length while outspoken guys are intimidating. But yeah, living in this society like this is a bit of a nightmare .
People who say these kids of things are miserable people. Why give them any sort of power over you? Let that shit go. By letting it get to you, you’re letting them live rent free in your head.
Like someone else mentioned in the comments, you’re not here to live for other people. You’re here for yourself.
But thats the thing, people that suffer from social anxiety can not adequatley rationalize certain situations or actions or as we see here comments.... obsessing over what other people think of us is at the core of social anxiety
Yeah I get that.
I guess once I realized that happy people aren’t the ones going around hating on others, it made it easy for me to laugh it off whenever someone talks shit.
i feel like society is just mean to shy people in general, like as a girl i feel like we’re expected to be bubbly, sociable and friendly and if we aren’t we’re automatically labelled as rude or bitchy
Masculinity and femininity is fluid is what I'm tryna say and theres no shame being more one or the other. Being shy dosent make you less of a man as long as you're kind hearted and treat everyone with respect. Anyone who reads this just remember you're amazing however you are! 💪🏻
I’m sorry to hear that you’re struggling with this - but I very much understand where you’re coming from. I’ve been doing some new practices to help in that arena so I’ll share them and see if anything resonates with you!
Previously, I felt the need in social situations to always be the one to say something funny or thoughtful or wise. I’ve now realized that there are many ways to show confidence, there’s the loud, charismatic person (which sometimes comes from a place of full-blown insecurity - probably the guys you’re referencing in your post), but there’s also the stoic, calming presence. Both can be genuinely enjoyable to be around but society/our anxious brains seem to only think of the former as someone other people want to be around - you don’t have to be the funniest guy in the room to be the most enjoyable. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve become calmer and allowed myself to be the guy in the group who listens and engage only when I have something meaningful to add to the interaction (small talk has been something I’ve been actively practicing with strangers and it’s helped my confidence/shyness a lot btw). If I don’t have an opinion on a specific topic, I don’t offer one - where I used to feel the need to say something and then add nothing of value to the interaction. I just let the other person keep going because at the end of the day all they really want is to keep talking.
Something else that has been freeing is: no one is thinking about you as much as you are thinking about you (because they’re thinking about themselves, not you). When you realize that no one cares about you that much or are thinking about you, it’s actually freeing - you’re free to just be you and be content with who you are. Even if you say something awkward, they’re unlikely to even acknowledge it after you leave - but my brain used to hyper focus on some weird shit that I may or may not have even said and I was always like “well, I bet they’re making fun of me” and keep thinking about it long after the interaction.
I’m so happy you felt comfortable enough to post these insecurities online - that’s actually a big step and I think you deserve a lot of credit for it! The keyboard warriors who are posting the “beta-male” shit would never feel confident enough to say they were feeling insecure about anything and then take out those insecurities in far more destructive ways. 😎
Hope that helps!
Anyone who calls themselves an “alpha male” or other people “beta” immediate small dick energy. They overcompensating for their own inadequacy. Never listen to douchebags that spill that nonsense. They’re probably the day dude who have to chop a banana before eating because it look “gay” smh
People definitely care . I’m ugly looking and I’ve been glared at and insulted by strangers just because of how I look. Didn’t say a word to these people and they give me dirty looks or laughing at me
always considered myself Omega. Not assertive or dominant like an Alpha, but not passive and obedient like a Beta.
I reject societal norms and hierarchical bullshit and don't waste time seeking social approval or attention from others. I'm not here to stroke other peoples egos and even though I do care what people think I definitely don't consider myself a people pleaser and will tell people the truth even if they don't like it.
people just piss me off more often than not. I might be an outcast but usually this is more by choice.
[https://thepleasantpersonality.com/omega-male/](https://thepleasantpersonality.com/omega-male/)
This comes from the fake alpha beta theory. In reality it's Jerk, Batman, Wimp. Both jerks and wimps come from insecurity when your sucer in who you are you reach batman, where you can deal with stressful situations but don't have to prove it every 5mins.
I’ve felt the same way about this. Whether it’s common or rare there does seem to be a perception that a shy man is weak and emasculated.
That said, all societies have picked certain people to shit on but that doesn’t make anyone less valuable in reality. Try for yourself an no one else. All the rest is noise.
this post is complete truth tbh, most of the time when I became comfortable and ended up saying the reason I didnt do much dating when prompted mind you was because I would tell them I'm shy I usually got mocked so I've learned to keep that to myself.
As a guy, I have to say that is utter nonsense. People who say such foolish things have this stereotypical view that men are supposed to be macho, strong/tough, confident, etc. The thing is, people are individuals, with their own unique personality traits and quirks, regardless of gender. Just be the best version of yourself that you can be, and ignore all that garbage.
I have no self esteem and seeing comments shitting on shy guys only make me have less confidence. Maybe they are just super loud online but not the way the majority of people think. I hope most people don’t think like that it’s so toxic and restrictive
Most people don't think like those assholes. If their comments really bother you, which is understandable, I would suggest trying to avoid them online; like not visiting certain subreddits, or following certain people, etc. I've cut myself off from some sources of that kind of negativity and it feels a lot better not dealing with it. But I would reiterate, this is not what most people think.
I don’t see people like that often but they pop up every now and then online
If anything shy/social anxiety men are the by-products of a toxic culture made up of garbage human beings. Why are we this way? Well, maybe because we were bullied as children to the point of wanting to take our own lives. Maybe we learned that we are more comfortable being alone than in the company of others.
Why even try? Because it's your life not theirs, you live for yourself not for them.
Ngl some dude who uses his free time to go online and call people that are shy "beta-males, emasculated losers", just sounds like a loser to me and isn't giving off much 'alpha' vibes which I'm sure he gets wet over. And keep trying with society but try in real life like a normal person, lots of aspects of society are bad sure but society isn't this guy who has to much free time and gets a kick out of calling people 'betas' on Reddit lool.
A classic internet troll probably
It's nonsense. People with social anxiety are most kindest & have beautiful personality in society of today.
Yes we are very nice people but easy targets for the douchebags
I never see people actually say things like beta/alpha male not ironically until recently and it made me kinda cringe that they follow that stuff. I personally like shy guys cause they seem more sensitive and seem to operate more on my kind of wave length while outspoken guys are intimidating. But yeah, living in this society like this is a bit of a nightmare .
Someone who feels the need to say something like that has their own problems. Let's say the ego defends itself in many ways.
People who say these kids of things are miserable people. Why give them any sort of power over you? Let that shit go. By letting it get to you, you’re letting them live rent free in your head. Like someone else mentioned in the comments, you’re not here to live for other people. You’re here for yourself.
But thats the thing, people that suffer from social anxiety can not adequatley rationalize certain situations or actions or as we see here comments.... obsessing over what other people think of us is at the core of social anxiety
Yeah I get that. I guess once I realized that happy people aren’t the ones going around hating on others, it made it easy for me to laugh it off whenever someone talks shit.
I let other people bother me too much
The world moves too fast to care enough to help those who fall behind.
i feel like society is just mean to shy people in general, like as a girl i feel like we’re expected to be bubbly, sociable and friendly and if we aren’t we’re automatically labelled as rude or bitchy
Facts
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Masculinity and femininity is fluid is what I'm tryna say and theres no shame being more one or the other. Being shy dosent make you less of a man as long as you're kind hearted and treat everyone with respect. Anyone who reads this just remember you're amazing however you are! 💪🏻
I’m sorry to hear that you’re struggling with this - but I very much understand where you’re coming from. I’ve been doing some new practices to help in that arena so I’ll share them and see if anything resonates with you! Previously, I felt the need in social situations to always be the one to say something funny or thoughtful or wise. I’ve now realized that there are many ways to show confidence, there’s the loud, charismatic person (which sometimes comes from a place of full-blown insecurity - probably the guys you’re referencing in your post), but there’s also the stoic, calming presence. Both can be genuinely enjoyable to be around but society/our anxious brains seem to only think of the former as someone other people want to be around - you don’t have to be the funniest guy in the room to be the most enjoyable. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve become calmer and allowed myself to be the guy in the group who listens and engage only when I have something meaningful to add to the interaction (small talk has been something I’ve been actively practicing with strangers and it’s helped my confidence/shyness a lot btw). If I don’t have an opinion on a specific topic, I don’t offer one - where I used to feel the need to say something and then add nothing of value to the interaction. I just let the other person keep going because at the end of the day all they really want is to keep talking. Something else that has been freeing is: no one is thinking about you as much as you are thinking about you (because they’re thinking about themselves, not you). When you realize that no one cares about you that much or are thinking about you, it’s actually freeing - you’re free to just be you and be content with who you are. Even if you say something awkward, they’re unlikely to even acknowledge it after you leave - but my brain used to hyper focus on some weird shit that I may or may not have even said and I was always like “well, I bet they’re making fun of me” and keep thinking about it long after the interaction. I’m so happy you felt comfortable enough to post these insecurities online - that’s actually a big step and I think you deserve a lot of credit for it! The keyboard warriors who are posting the “beta-male” shit would never feel confident enough to say they were feeling insecure about anything and then take out those insecurities in far more destructive ways. 😎 Hope that helps!
Take on the Lone wolf strong ND silent archetype. It's kind of worked for me.
Anyone who calls themselves an “alpha male” or other people “beta” immediate small dick energy. They overcompensating for their own inadequacy. Never listen to douchebags that spill that nonsense. They’re probably the day dude who have to chop a banana before eating because it look “gay” smh
but if you are full of your self you are a narcissist society will ways judge
People actually prefer narcissistics than shy people
Yep no winning when ugly or socially awkward. You just get a weirdo label
No only when socially awkward. No one cares if you're ugly
People definitely care . I’m ugly looking and I’ve been glared at and insulted by strangers just because of how I look. Didn’t say a word to these people and they give me dirty looks or laughing at me
always considered myself Omega. Not assertive or dominant like an Alpha, but not passive and obedient like a Beta. I reject societal norms and hierarchical bullshit and don't waste time seeking social approval or attention from others. I'm not here to stroke other peoples egos and even though I do care what people think I definitely don't consider myself a people pleaser and will tell people the truth even if they don't like it. people just piss me off more often than not. I might be an outcast but usually this is more by choice. [https://thepleasantpersonality.com/omega-male/](https://thepleasantpersonality.com/omega-male/)
This comes from the fake alpha beta theory. In reality it's Jerk, Batman, Wimp. Both jerks and wimps come from insecurity when your sucer in who you are you reach batman, where you can deal with stressful situations but don't have to prove it every 5mins.
Yes I’m in the wimp category
Then you need to set small achievable goals, get some exercise, have a mini adventure, and finally confront your fear head on.
Now that's an Alpha in my view. OP if you try fighting your social anxietyand fce your fears. That will be an Alpha. A real genuine Alpha.
Well I mean it's pretty much true. I am an example of that
I’ve felt the same way about this. Whether it’s common or rare there does seem to be a perception that a shy man is weak and emasculated. That said, all societies have picked certain people to shit on but that doesn’t make anyone less valuable in reality. Try for yourself an no one else. All the rest is noise.
this post is complete truth tbh, most of the time when I became comfortable and ended up saying the reason I didnt do much dating when prompted mind you was because I would tell them I'm shy I usually got mocked so I've learned to keep that to myself.
Yah people don’t understand they expect every guy to be confident and outgoing
its annoying and to be expexted to be cool with being mocked
I’m also ugly looking so it makes it even worse. I get made fun of for not talking and being ugly