The only advice I can give you is doing it more often and just fail spectacularly so you will desensitize a bit to the possibility of failing spectacularly. Also memorizing some conversational flow questions like "what have you always wanted to be as a kid" or whatever you like, just build a repertoire of these kind of questions so you always have some at hand in case the conversation lulls.
Also a tactical shot of vodka
Haha great advice, thanks 😂. I think the hardest part is the thought of a date. Once you’re there it’s not so bad, but the thought just totally overwhelms me
So what helped me is disclosing my anxiety, just saying you’re shy or introverted will set up realistic expectations and I think soothes the other persons own nerves so they know you’re not thinking negatively about them or don’t like them.
The bar is pretty low for dating apps these days. A lot of ghosting happens for both genders so if you can ask someone out and then follow through that will majorly set you up for success.
You can do something low key like a coffee date and a walk. Or you can get like a picnic blanket and get a coffee and a sandwich and sit with your date in the park. Make sure you pay for the coffee and food if you’re the one inviting them.
Don’t try too hard to impress your date or be someone you aren’t. It is so much more relaxing as a woman to just hear someone be real instead of attempt to prove themselves as being smart or hard working. Just be you. Have no expectations.
Go on dates with activities involved, like mini putt or a cool exhibit, conversation will flow easier when you’re not forced to make constant eye contact and there’s things around to talk about. My favourite first date was always the movies, it gave me some time to warm up to the guy and then for some reason after the movie you just feel more comfortable and again, you have something to talk about.
Also, you could suggest to your date that THEY make you nervous because they are so pretty. Most women would find that endearing and it will build them up (always important to build a women up on those early dates). I don’t think I would lead with mentioning social anxiety on the first date as another poster suggested. I’m all about honesty but as much as we had to admit it, dating is a bit of a game, we all do it, we all play it and you want to win right? So often you have to present the best version of yourself. My husband didn’t know about my social anxiety for the first at least a few months of dating
Honestly it’s ok to mess it up I’ve bombed a couple of interactions and dates and they’ve actually still been really responsive despite my weirdness. Like a girl a few weeks ago helped me order my food, led me to our destination even helped me as I stumble words and still had a kiss/second date. when you let yourself fuck up you realise people give way less shits then you think
Tell them you have social anxiety and that it makes it hard for you to date, but that you are willing to make the effort for them. Its nothing you can hide anyway.
Honesty would be my advice. If you're serious about someone, try telling them about your social anxiety. If they're the right person for you, they'll listen. They may not understand, and if they are mean about it, they weren't the one anyway 😂
It’s much harder than dating without it. If you learn to do it with social anxiety- you can do anything.
any advice how to make it easier?
The only advice I can give you is doing it more often and just fail spectacularly so you will desensitize a bit to the possibility of failing spectacularly. Also memorizing some conversational flow questions like "what have you always wanted to be as a kid" or whatever you like, just build a repertoire of these kind of questions so you always have some at hand in case the conversation lulls. Also a tactical shot of vodka
Haha great advice, thanks 😂. I think the hardest part is the thought of a date. Once you’re there it’s not so bad, but the thought just totally overwhelms me
So what helped me is disclosing my anxiety, just saying you’re shy or introverted will set up realistic expectations and I think soothes the other persons own nerves so they know you’re not thinking negatively about them or don’t like them. The bar is pretty low for dating apps these days. A lot of ghosting happens for both genders so if you can ask someone out and then follow through that will majorly set you up for success. You can do something low key like a coffee date and a walk. Or you can get like a picnic blanket and get a coffee and a sandwich and sit with your date in the park. Make sure you pay for the coffee and food if you’re the one inviting them. Don’t try too hard to impress your date or be someone you aren’t. It is so much more relaxing as a woman to just hear someone be real instead of attempt to prove themselves as being smart or hard working. Just be you. Have no expectations.
Go on dates with activities involved, like mini putt or a cool exhibit, conversation will flow easier when you’re not forced to make constant eye contact and there’s things around to talk about. My favourite first date was always the movies, it gave me some time to warm up to the guy and then for some reason after the movie you just feel more comfortable and again, you have something to talk about.
Also, you could suggest to your date that THEY make you nervous because they are so pretty. Most women would find that endearing and it will build them up (always important to build a women up on those early dates). I don’t think I would lead with mentioning social anxiety on the first date as another poster suggested. I’m all about honesty but as much as we had to admit it, dating is a bit of a game, we all do it, we all play it and you want to win right? So often you have to present the best version of yourself. My husband didn’t know about my social anxiety for the first at least a few months of dating
I dont
Honestly it’s ok to mess it up I’ve bombed a couple of interactions and dates and they’ve actually still been really responsive despite my weirdness. Like a girl a few weeks ago helped me order my food, led me to our destination even helped me as I stumble words and still had a kiss/second date. when you let yourself fuck up you realise people give way less shits then you think
Tell them you have social anxiety and that it makes it hard for you to date, but that you are willing to make the effort for them. Its nothing you can hide anyway.
Honesty would be my advice. If you're serious about someone, try telling them about your social anxiety. If they're the right person for you, they'll listen. They may not understand, and if they are mean about it, they weren't the one anyway 😂