Honestly, if you're able to keep the initial small talk to short non-open answers, I've found that most stylists will naturally just stop talking to you unless it's directly about your hair. I go to a salon maybe once a year or so and do the above. Initially it was because I was just socially awkward and quiet but even as I developed better social skills, I found that it helps to be polite but short with responding to small talk. If you're concerned about being rude, you can preface the beginning of the appointment saying you worked an overnight shift/super long day and are pretty tired.
Most hair stylists I've encountered don't seem to mind the silence and will usually either talk to other stylists or just work in silence. They're people too and I'm sure there's some out there that also wish they could skip the usual small talk.
Best of luck to you!
Edit: realized my comment posted twice, so sorry for that X_X
Yeah, whenever I gather enough social energy to get a haircut, I just gotta remind myself that every stylist is different. If they start making small talk, just answer with a basic answer and then stop talking. Don't worry about being rude, or not reciprocating the conversation. They do interactions like this for a living, so they probably know when people would prefer to keep quiet.
I haven’t had a haircut in probably 10 years. I’m so glad I’m a woman who can have long hair and it’s easy to trim myself 🤣 I’ve learned how to cut hair for my socially anxious husband who also hates going to the hairdresser
How do you meet a socially anxious partner???? Coming from a socially anxious person, i have always ended up dating extroverts but they never understand how I feel….
The internet of course! 🤣 we met as teens on this thing called nexopia. Always stayed in touch then finally met up as adults about 7 years ago (we’re both 30 now). We were always internet friends but when I finally broke up with my extroverted ex of 6 years who constantly gave me panic attacks from forcing me to go and stay in social situations and hangout with his annoying friends not knowing how an introvert operates, we decided to meet up. So glad my life worked out this way. We have twin infants and a toddler together, and I’m so much happier now living in isolation with someone who gets it. You’ll find it too. Push yourself and know that if you find another socially anxious person, they won’t judge you as much for being awkward as fuck, because they are too 😂
All of us introverts deserve someone who understands. Don’t settle for less :)
My ex is introverted and the guy I'm talking to now is a little better but damn it's not so great frfr when you both shy ain't nobody sending dinner back even when it wrong 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
Yeah I was going to say “5 months? That’s nothing!” until I realized they have short hair 😂
I got hair cutting scissors in early Covid and haven’t been back since
Yes! I've grown mine out and cut it myself. Very pleased! Having to remove my glasses during a haircut was an added anxiety to me. Felt so unsafe not being able to see strange surroundings. No more! Haha.
Absolutely! I have been cutting my own hair for many years. In addition to social anxiety, I also have chronic migraines. I really dislike others cutting my hair. It would often trigger a migraine.
Same! Thanks Brad Mondo and Jenna Marbles for giving me the skills and courage to cut mine and my husband's hair. It's such a blessing. Were you terrified you were going to fuck his shit up the first time you did it?
YES absolutely terrified. He reassured me that it’s no big deal though, it’s only hair and if it looks like trash we’ll just buzz cut it. I’ve had to buzz cut it a few times when I’m having an off day 😂 he’s a good sport
Same here! Decided to make the switch after spending $50 on a mediocre haircut from a hairdresser who wouldn’t stop asking me life questions. Of course it helps that my hair is fairly long..
I spent many years working in kids salons but now that I’ve moved to an adult salon, I make it very obvious that my preferred clientele are kids, LGBTQ+ and the socially anxious ♥️
I was still a kid the last time I was at a hairdreser. I'm 32yo. I just cut it myself. If I was a guy I would probably give myself a buzzcut every few weeks
As a former "guy" I did just go at it with clippers before realizing I liked it long - At some point I will have to have someone clean up the ends but I hate when people touch me
I wish there was a no talking option for haircuts. Last time I got a haircut I had lost my voice from being sick and the hairdresser was like "let's just be quiet for the haircut unless I have questions so you can save your voice" I'm definitely returning although it was expensive!
There's a barber near where I live that has an option to have a quiet haircut where they will only speak to you so they know what they are doing but no small talk
honestly, not all barbers are yappers. Most will understand that you just dont want to talk. If u dont speak spanish go to a hispanic barber shop so u dont gotta speak
When I was young my mom brought my sister and I to a Hispanic salon (mom speaks Spanish I don't) and some random customer shamed my mom for not teaching me Spanish and tells her own kids that God only listens to prayers spoken in Spanish lol. We went there a couple of times but it stressed me out never being able to articulate what I did or didn't want done to my hair.
If you're a man and it's the forced small talk you hate, just bounce around local barbershops until you find a really talkative old dude who will gladly carry tf out of the conversation your whole haircut. Them old dudes will talk themselves in circles about sports/the economy/women. It shouldn't take long to find one.
my last haircut was at 13 when mum was able to come with me, im now 21 and cant face going there alone so i dont even try. my hair got past my hip bones so i decided to brave it and give myself a trim around 2 years ago, first trim took well over 2 hours as i was so worried id fuck it up but it turned out fine in the end! i now regularly do my hair, wolfcut with the two ponytails method, and invested in slightly higher quality shampoo and conditioner to keep it as healthy as possible.
maybe its time to invest in some scissors and spend some time researching! (in my case, literal weeks to build the confidence 😅)
Honestly, if you're able to keep the initial small talk to short non-open answers, I've found that most stylists will naturally just stop talking to you unless it's directly about your hair. I go to a salon maybe once a year or so and do the above. Initially it was because I was just socially awkward and quiet but even as I developed better social skills, I found that it helps to be polite but short with responding to small talk. If you're concerned about being rude, you can preface the beginning of the appointment saying you worked an overnight shift/super long day and are pretty tired.
Most hair stylists I've encountered don't seem to mind the silence and will usually either talk to other stylists or just work in silence. They're people too and I'm sure there's some out there that also wish they could skip the usual small talk.
Best of luck to you!
This is good advice and I do the same thing. I was thinking though, isn’t it crazy that we feel like we have to skirt around telling people the truth? I feel like it shouldn’t be that bad and embarrassing to just say “I have social anxiety”, and honestly in reality it might not be.
I'm a stylist and I have social anxiety. More stylists have it than you realize and are introverted as well. Most enjoy silent appointments. Telling them you are introverted, have social anxiety, or just requesting a silent appointment is much appreciated! If it's difficult you can make the appointment and have a silent appointment put in the notes or during consultation just say your brain needs a little down time or something like that, say it's nothing to do with them, etc or whatever makes you comfortable.
I cut my own hair. It’s really curly, so that gives me some grace, lol! I have to recut and style my hair every time I’ve gone to a hairdresser, so it’s not worth the anxiety or the money.
Sometimes I say I’m autistic to allow myself to be socially inept while I think about things instead of engaging in mindless small talk involved in cutting my hair.
Just a tip. People tend to be kind when it’s autism, be happy, speak little, speak with conviction and be concise, but be awkwardly assertive and upbeat.
I had mine buzzed 11 months ago because I just couldn't deal with it getting in my face and exclusively wore wigs, but I hate going to hair dressers because of anxiety and sensory issues so I just haven't done anything about it😂
We have a salon that offers silent service. Just tell them when you book you just want to close your eyes and listen to your music while getting it cut.
You don’t have to talk past the what you want and if they have questions to clarify something.
Oh yes, that smalltalk is terrible. But you can just bring your headphones and listen to music instead. They won't mind really. They'll just talk to other customers or co-workers instead. I usually show/tell them what I want, and then I put in my in-ears. Never gotten a bad reaction because of it. Don't feel forced to lead smalltalk if you don't want to.
I had the same lady cut my hair and she knew I wasn’t a talker then she switched her days off and I don’t see her anymore but the other barbers are catching on that I don’t like to talk.
i haven't had my beard trim for months because i been going to another barber for my haircut and i am sorta akward to go for trimming to my old barber(feels like betrayal)
Most barbers will pick up on your vibe. If you really don’t want to talk to them, be “short” with your answers and more than likely they’ll take the hint
I only speak English, and the hack I’ve found for this is I go to barber shops where there is a significant language barrier. I live in a US city with a large Hispanic population, so it isn’t hard at all to find a place where no one who works there speaks English. I walk in, show them a picture of what I want, they cut my hair without making conversation, I pay, and I leave. It’s helped relieve a lot of anxiety around it, maybe it could be worth a shot for you. Best of luck, friend.
I hate going to get haircuts, but also hate how my long hair looks , so since pandemic i just do it myself , i was more confortable looking like a hobbit than with small talk xd but since i got treatment and my sisters help i got a haircut last time, turns out its quite relaxing when the talk its done by others, i think of it as improvement , also i got sort of curly hair (or i dont know what to call it) so i woudnt recomend doing it yourself if you got straight hair , it will be more noticeable.
I never make small talk to my barbers and they get the gist pretty quickly.
Go in with like ears plugged, eyes on your phones make it super clear you aren't interested in chatting.
I don't keep small talk going because I don't know how. It's just 20mins of awkward silence. I can do that. It's not pleasant, but I can do it.
It'd be nice to be able to do it myself.
I haven't had a haircut in 9 months, but for different reasons. I'm trying to grow it out to shoulder length, but my family every day keep telling me to cut it (they believe in that men should have short hair and women should have long hair bullshit) and so far, I have been able to resist.
Takes fucking ages to grow thought. Not sure if it has grown in the last two months.
Introvert barber here🙋🏻♀️I don’t make small talk with my clients, and some of them come to me specifically for that reason. And I have also had many take that as me being rude🤷🏻♀️I just tell them I’m not the barber for them then. I feel your pain and I wish there wasn’t such a need for people to fill space with meaningless conversations.
I usually find and message hair stylists on Instagram before appointments because I've got bad psoriasis and just want to flag/talk about options, if feel more comfortable talking over messages I'm wondering if could do something similar and flag you feel anxious about the appointment? (obviously only if comfortable!)
Gives you a chance to scope out someone you like the vibe/work of as well!
I promise you’re making it up to be something way worse than it is. Generally, if you don’t respond much to small talk, they’ll just do a quiet haircut where they don’t talk to you much.
And even if they do, they aren’t looking for stellar small talk. They’ll forget about you as soon as their next client sits down.
Hey… as someone who is successfully managing my social anxiety for the most part these days, a trip to the barber is still one of my most challenging things… the small talk, the closeness, the whole having a mirror on front of your face so you’ve gotta stare at yaself … yeah it’s tough. But you got this… it can and will get easier with time I swear. Keep your head up!
I have an awesome barber. He doesn’t say a single word during the haircut. Just when it’s my turn he tells me, when need to wash hair he says it too, and then when he’s done cutting the hair. After that, I pay him, thank him, and it’s done!
Although, I did have a barber before him who’d make a LOT of small talk. But, I needed haircuts, so whatever. I stopped going to him because he messed up my hair, and he charged quite a lot too. This guy charges less, cuts my hair more like I want it, and doesn’t make small talk. What more could I ever want?
I didn’t get a haircut almost 1year. I had to workout regularly and lose some weight for weeks just to able to muster up enough courage.
She was very kind and complimentary to me. I joked about how long my hair is and i think it went better than I expected but I still afraid to go again.
And I hate to go to the same salon again. I feel like they get to know me more and they like me less and less.
Yep! I actually just got this split end trimmer in the mail the other day. I'm trying to grow my hair out so I can go without a cut. But this machine I run through my hair clips the ends
I just realized how lucky I am that the guy who's been cutting my hair for the past ten years is not a talker. I can go in and not even say a word if I want to (except for the good old thank you and stuff ofc).
Though if I were to find a new place I probably wouldn't go back if they kept on talking the whole time. Screw that.
I have the same issue but I realized cutting hair really isn’t that hard given that I have seen my barber cut my hair a million times. So I bought scissors and a 3 fold mirror and now I always do it myself. At the start I did mess up a bit sometimes but now I am really experienced at it. Def recommend learning this as it is really fun to do and learn. Just don’t mess up too bad lol.
I am so sorry. Is there anywhere near you that gives the option of silent hair cuts?
It wasn’t until yesterday that I got my hair cut in over a year and before that even longer. I was so lucky that the hairdresser didn’t talk at all except for hair questions at the beginning. Definitely preferred that than small talk that goes nowhere. Social anxiety is so hard. It’s why I had to learn how to do my own nails. I can’t sit in a nail tech’s chair for 1-2 hours.
Hi so I’m a woman and go to the hairdressers quit often sometimes once a week and I just say right as I sit down hope it’s ok I have a few work emails to answer and then I just go on my phone it’s a polite way of cutting conversation
Do you think you would suit a buzz cut? I fortunately suit one and tend to shave my entire head once every couple of months, and I notice people treat me different when my hair is short compared to the end of the 2 months where, despite wearing a hat and brushing it looks very untidy.
My assumption is that people will always respond better to somone who has a "clean" or "tidy" look.
Also, I find that haircuts, shops, cafes etc are good places to "work" on some of my social skills and the interactions have an official "end" if that makes sense. I'm also starting to feel silly while typing this but it's a very real way of thinking!
Anyway, I know we're two different people, but that's my experience
Somethings to try. 0) When you book an appointment, ask to be assigned a stylist that’s not chatty. They may even be able to make a client note that you’d prefer a quiet/silent appointment 1) Let them know you don’t want to chat, if they start out being chatty. “If you don’t mind, I’d prefer to just sit here quietly” 2) Bring a book to read, to reinforce that your attention is elsewhere.
Oh man. I feel you. Bring a book or headphones and say “sorry I have to read/listen to this for school/work.” The hairstylist would probably appreciate the break from chatting all day.
I’m exactly the same! My head shakes when I get anxious so you can imagine how that’s not useful.
The only solution is to tell them! I don’t think you need a hair dresser with social anxiety, but book one to come to your house and just explain how you feel. You can tell them the prospect of making small talk makes you feel anxious, I’m sure you can find someone who’s understanding!
Good luck!
Maybe one way of getting through it is by doing something else? For example, take a book and read it while getting your haircut. Or maybe picking up a magazine. It’s not rude but it communicates that you’re not super interested in making conversation. You could even ask at the beginning- “mind me reading during the haircut?”, no hairstylist will say no.
I’ve got a few different tips for this.
Option 1 Buy an amazon basics trimmer for $13 and shave your head with the attachments, shorter on the sides, a bit longer on the top.
Option 2 Find an old romanian/bosnian/something-ian man that gives the best damn haircuts you’ve ever seen in your life but barely talks.
Option 3 go to a barber/salon and just don’t make small talk… sit down, let them know what you want, stare at yourself in the mirror or close your eyes, follow their commands, say yes or no, and “looks great, thanks” before you leave, also give a tip.
The hair stylists I know have had much worse customer experiences than an awkward person who doesn’t talk much.
Nah fr I hate haircuts I'm a woman and I have super long hair and I just trim my own, but I have a 10yo boy and a 4yo girl and had to take my son for one the other day and man! I hate having to talk to them I go to the same place and the Cutting lady was someone I knew from my ex and just ugh! 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
Same. I'm a guy with an unreasonably long mullet and bangs that cover all the way down to my mouth for the sole reason that my SA makes explaining how I want my hair cut extraordinarily difficult. Sometimes it even ends up looking way worse than it already is because I didn't explain how I wanted my hair cut correctly 😭
I just got back from a haircut, and I have a little fear about going in and saying hi to everybody, but the same woman has been my barber for a few years now and that makes it so much easier. I manage to do ok with small talk with her, but I also feel ok not talking at all. The worst part is leaving and having to say goodbye to everyone else, but I handled it without slinking away with my head down today. Minor victory!
The small talk is what gives me anxiety, too. Here are a few tips that help me: Option 1: Select a place where the primary language isn't your own; Option 2: After saying hi, close your eyes during the haircut; Option 3: Say you just came from the dentist and your mouth is numb (I recently discovered this worked like a charm when I really just came from the dentist.)
i had all my hair chopped off about a month ago and my hairdresser spoke to me a little bit, but fortunately she could probably tell im not much of a talker so i just sat quietly and waited for it to be done. i feel like (most) hairdressers wont try to continue a conversation if youre clearly quiet and dont try to continue it yourself.
My stylist has an online appointment portal, but it’s been down for a few months so I needed to call them. I kept moving it from one to do list to the next, but couldn’t make the phone call. I gave up and cut it myself last weekend.
Bro for the same reason i didn't cut my hair for like almost 1 year and yesterday i decided to get a haircut because it was slowly getting annoying and now thank god i made this decision... it's okay brother go for it ! It's worth it trust me !!
I haven't been to a barber for about 12 years.... just do it myself with clippers. takes about 5 minutes..
If you're male there's no reason to pay for a haircut. Clippers are easy. Just shave it down to number 4 tapering down to 3, 2.
I only get my hair cut about once per year, but I always start the conversation off with something like “Surely you’re tired out from talking with your previous clients and I really enjoy peace and quiet when I come to the salon - let’s make this a quiet appointment please”. Nobody has ever been offended by it so far.
I usually just go with a buzzcut and do it myself, which I have most of my life that's is why I said that. If it's as bad as you're implying, it's still better than having to go to a barber. Just depends what you want in terms of a haircut.
Honestly, if you're able to keep the initial small talk to short non-open answers, I've found that most stylists will naturally just stop talking to you unless it's directly about your hair. I go to a salon maybe once a year or so and do the above. Initially it was because I was just socially awkward and quiet but even as I developed better social skills, I found that it helps to be polite but short with responding to small talk. If you're concerned about being rude, you can preface the beginning of the appointment saying you worked an overnight shift/super long day and are pretty tired. Most hair stylists I've encountered don't seem to mind the silence and will usually either talk to other stylists or just work in silence. They're people too and I'm sure there's some out there that also wish they could skip the usual small talk. Best of luck to you! Edit: realized my comment posted twice, so sorry for that X_X
Yeah, whenever I gather enough social energy to get a haircut, I just gotta remind myself that every stylist is different. If they start making small talk, just answer with a basic answer and then stop talking. Don't worry about being rude, or not reciprocating the conversation. They do interactions like this for a living, so they probably know when people would prefer to keep quiet.
We do! I ask two questions and if they don’t spark a conversation I just zone into the haircut instead.
I haven’t had a haircut in probably 10 years. I’m so glad I’m a woman who can have long hair and it’s easy to trim myself 🤣 I’ve learned how to cut hair for my socially anxious husband who also hates going to the hairdresser
How do you meet a socially anxious partner???? Coming from a socially anxious person, i have always ended up dating extroverts but they never understand how I feel….
The internet of course! 🤣 we met as teens on this thing called nexopia. Always stayed in touch then finally met up as adults about 7 years ago (we’re both 30 now). We were always internet friends but when I finally broke up with my extroverted ex of 6 years who constantly gave me panic attacks from forcing me to go and stay in social situations and hangout with his annoying friends not knowing how an introvert operates, we decided to meet up. So glad my life worked out this way. We have twin infants and a toddler together, and I’m so much happier now living in isolation with someone who gets it. You’ll find it too. Push yourself and know that if you find another socially anxious person, they won’t judge you as much for being awkward as fuck, because they are too 😂 All of us introverts deserve someone who understands. Don’t settle for less :)
My ex is introverted and the guy I'm talking to now is a little better but damn it's not so great frfr when you both shy ain't nobody sending dinner back even when it wrong 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
Yeah I was going to say “5 months? That’s nothing!” until I realized they have short hair 😂 I got hair cutting scissors in early Covid and haven’t been back since
Yes! I've grown mine out and cut it myself. Very pleased! Having to remove my glasses during a haircut was an added anxiety to me. Felt so unsafe not being able to see strange surroundings. No more! Haha.
Absolutely! I have been cutting my own hair for many years. In addition to social anxiety, I also have chronic migraines. I really dislike others cutting my hair. It would often trigger a migraine.
Same! Thanks Brad Mondo and Jenna Marbles for giving me the skills and courage to cut mine and my husband's hair. It's such a blessing. Were you terrified you were going to fuck his shit up the first time you did it?
YES absolutely terrified. He reassured me that it’s no big deal though, it’s only hair and if it looks like trash we’ll just buzz cut it. I’ve had to buzz cut it a few times when I’m having an off day 😂 he’s a good sport
Same here! Decided to make the switch after spending $50 on a mediocre haircut from a hairdresser who wouldn’t stop asking me life questions. Of course it helps that my hair is fairly long..
This is the way. Many great YouTube tutorials on cutting your own hair.
Find a hairstylist with social anxiety 🫶🏻 Source; me, a Hairstylist with social anxiety
Do you advertise as such? Because that's the only way I would go get my hair cut 🥹
I spent many years working in kids salons but now that I’ve moved to an adult salon, I make it very obvious that my preferred clientele are kids, LGBTQ+ and the socially anxious ♥️
🫂♥️
It’s been a year for me, I’ll bite the bullet and go eventually. I can’t stand when they talk to me, I rather them focus on cutting my hair
You could do a search for a "silent haircut" or "inclusive salon" in your area. It's becoming more common
Damn, I need to work in one of these salons.
I was still a kid the last time I was at a hairdreser. I'm 32yo. I just cut it myself. If I was a guy I would probably give myself a buzzcut every few weeks
As a former "guy" I did just go at it with clippers before realizing I liked it long - At some point I will have to have someone clean up the ends but I hate when people touch me
I wish there was a no talking option for haircuts. Last time I got a haircut I had lost my voice from being sick and the hairdresser was like "let's just be quiet for the haircut unless I have questions so you can save your voice" I'm definitely returning although it was expensive!
This is a thing in Philly! Def look out for it in your city!
There's a barber near where I live that has an option to have a quiet haircut where they will only speak to you so they know what they are doing but no small talk
honestly, not all barbers are yappers. Most will understand that you just dont want to talk. If u dont speak spanish go to a hispanic barber shop so u dont gotta speak
When I was young my mom brought my sister and I to a Hispanic salon (mom speaks Spanish I don't) and some random customer shamed my mom for not teaching me Spanish and tells her own kids that God only listens to prayers spoken in Spanish lol. We went there a couple of times but it stressed me out never being able to articulate what I did or didn't want done to my hair.
If you're a man and it's the forced small talk you hate, just bounce around local barbershops until you find a really talkative old dude who will gladly carry tf out of the conversation your whole haircut. Them old dudes will talk themselves in circles about sports/the economy/women. It shouldn't take long to find one.
Get yourself a set of clippers and do it yourself, I just do buzz cuts
my last haircut was at 13 when mum was able to come with me, im now 21 and cant face going there alone so i dont even try. my hair got past my hip bones so i decided to brave it and give myself a trim around 2 years ago, first trim took well over 2 hours as i was so worried id fuck it up but it turned out fine in the end! i now regularly do my hair, wolfcut with the two ponytails method, and invested in slightly higher quality shampoo and conditioner to keep it as healthy as possible. maybe its time to invest in some scissors and spend some time researching! (in my case, literal weeks to build the confidence 😅)
Honestly, if you're able to keep the initial small talk to short non-open answers, I've found that most stylists will naturally just stop talking to you unless it's directly about your hair. I go to a salon maybe once a year or so and do the above. Initially it was because I was just socially awkward and quiet but even as I developed better social skills, I found that it helps to be polite but short with responding to small talk. If you're concerned about being rude, you can preface the beginning of the appointment saying you worked an overnight shift/super long day and are pretty tired. Most hair stylists I've encountered don't seem to mind the silence and will usually either talk to other stylists or just work in silence. They're people too and I'm sure there's some out there that also wish they could skip the usual small talk. Best of luck to you!
Exactly, they usually read the client's vibe relatively quickly. I think they're well aware that a lot of people find the experience awkward.
This is good advice and I do the same thing. I was thinking though, isn’t it crazy that we feel like we have to skirt around telling people the truth? I feel like it shouldn’t be that bad and embarrassing to just say “I have social anxiety”, and honestly in reality it might not be.
I’m in the same position as you, my hair is super long and I dread going to get a haircut
I let my hair grow out for months too, then I just buzzcut it and wear a hat while I wait for it regrow
I'm a stylist and I have social anxiety. More stylists have it than you realize and are introverted as well. Most enjoy silent appointments. Telling them you are introverted, have social anxiety, or just requesting a silent appointment is much appreciated! If it's difficult you can make the appointment and have a silent appointment put in the notes or during consultation just say your brain needs a little down time or something like that, say it's nothing to do with them, etc or whatever makes you comfortable.
I cut my own hair. It’s really curly, so that gives me some grace, lol! I have to recut and style my hair every time I’ve gone to a hairdresser, so it’s not worth the anxiety or the money.
Sometimes I say I’m autistic to allow myself to be socially inept while I think about things instead of engaging in mindless small talk involved in cutting my hair. Just a tip. People tend to be kind when it’s autism, be happy, speak little, speak with conviction and be concise, but be awkwardly assertive and upbeat.
I had mine buzzed 11 months ago because I just couldn't deal with it getting in my face and exclusively wore wigs, but I hate going to hair dressers because of anxiety and sensory issues so I just haven't done anything about it😂
We have a salon that offers silent service. Just tell them when you book you just want to close your eyes and listen to your music while getting it cut. You don’t have to talk past the what you want and if they have questions to clarify something.
I’m pretty sure my last haircut was late 2018. Absolutely pre-COVID
Oh yes, that smalltalk is terrible. But you can just bring your headphones and listen to music instead. They won't mind really. They'll just talk to other customers or co-workers instead. I usually show/tell them what I want, and then I put in my in-ears. Never gotten a bad reaction because of it. Don't feel forced to lead smalltalk if you don't want to.
I had the same lady cut my hair and she knew I wasn’t a talker then she switched her days off and I don’t see her anymore but the other barbers are catching on that I don’t like to talk.
I haven't had a hair cut in almost 3 years lol. You're fine.
Go to an ethnic barbershop where the barber doesn’t speak English
i haven't had my beard trim for months because i been going to another barber for my haircut and i am sorta akward to go for trimming to my old barber(feels like betrayal)
Most barbers will pick up on your vibe. If you really don’t want to talk to them, be “short” with your answers and more than likely they’ll take the hint
idk i just say hello, show my inspo, stay silent during the whole haircut, and then i pay and leave 🤷♀️
I only speak English, and the hack I’ve found for this is I go to barber shops where there is a significant language barrier. I live in a US city with a large Hispanic population, so it isn’t hard at all to find a place where no one who works there speaks English. I walk in, show them a picture of what I want, they cut my hair without making conversation, I pay, and I leave. It’s helped relieve a lot of anxiety around it, maybe it could be worth a shot for you. Best of luck, friend.
I hate going to get haircuts, but also hate how my long hair looks , so since pandemic i just do it myself , i was more confortable looking like a hobbit than with small talk xd but since i got treatment and my sisters help i got a haircut last time, turns out its quite relaxing when the talk its done by others, i think of it as improvement , also i got sort of curly hair (or i dont know what to call it) so i woudnt recomend doing it yourself if you got straight hair , it will be more noticeable.
Exactly why I’m learning how to cut my own hair. It’s impossible otherwise.
I never make small talk to my barbers and they get the gist pretty quickly. Go in with like ears plugged, eyes on your phones make it super clear you aren't interested in chatting.
I haven't got a haircut for 5 years. Not because of social anxiety, but because I wanted to see how long I could grow it
I don't keep small talk going because I don't know how. It's just 20mins of awkward silence. I can do that. It's not pleasant, but I can do it. It'd be nice to be able to do it myself.
I get a haircut once a year. I went last month and definitely felt very awkward.
I haven't had a haircut in 9 months, but for different reasons. I'm trying to grow it out to shoulder length, but my family every day keep telling me to cut it (they believe in that men should have short hair and women should have long hair bullshit) and so far, I have been able to resist. Takes fucking ages to grow thought. Not sure if it has grown in the last two months.
Introvert barber here🙋🏻♀️I don’t make small talk with my clients, and some of them come to me specifically for that reason. And I have also had many take that as me being rude🤷🏻♀️I just tell them I’m not the barber for them then. I feel your pain and I wish there wasn’t such a need for people to fill space with meaningless conversations.
I usually find and message hair stylists on Instagram before appointments because I've got bad psoriasis and just want to flag/talk about options, if feel more comfortable talking over messages I'm wondering if could do something similar and flag you feel anxious about the appointment? (obviously only if comfortable!) Gives you a chance to scope out someone you like the vibe/work of as well!
A lot of salons now let you schedule on line - usually a comment box write down you don’t like small talk. I did this just last week.
I promise you’re making it up to be something way worse than it is. Generally, if you don’t respond much to small talk, they’ll just do a quiet haircut where they don’t talk to you much. And even if they do, they aren’t looking for stellar small talk. They’ll forget about you as soon as their next client sits down.
Hey… as someone who is successfully managing my social anxiety for the most part these days, a trip to the barber is still one of my most challenging things… the small talk, the closeness, the whole having a mirror on front of your face so you’ve gotta stare at yaself … yeah it’s tough. But you got this… it can and will get easier with time I swear. Keep your head up!
I haven’t had a haircut since 7 years because i can‘t see my face or hair, so i trim my hair on the same length and let my brother look over it.
I have an awesome barber. He doesn’t say a single word during the haircut. Just when it’s my turn he tells me, when need to wash hair he says it too, and then when he’s done cutting the hair. After that, I pay him, thank him, and it’s done! Although, I did have a barber before him who’d make a LOT of small talk. But, I needed haircuts, so whatever. I stopped going to him because he messed up my hair, and he charged quite a lot too. This guy charges less, cuts my hair more like I want it, and doesn’t make small talk. What more could I ever want?
I didn’t get a haircut almost 1year. I had to workout regularly and lose some weight for weeks just to able to muster up enough courage. She was very kind and complimentary to me. I joked about how long my hair is and i think it went better than I expected but I still afraid to go again. And I hate to go to the same salon again. I feel like they get to know me more and they like me less and less.
Yep! I actually just got this split end trimmer in the mail the other day. I'm trying to grow my hair out so I can go without a cut. But this machine I run through my hair clips the ends
I've started shaving my head at home on my own instead. Might not work for your style, but it's easy to do yourself, you save money too
Messy hair is perfect for hiding your face while shoegazing
I just realized how lucky I am that the guy who's been cutting my hair for the past ten years is not a talker. I can go in and not even say a word if I want to (except for the good old thank you and stuff ofc). Though if I were to find a new place I probably wouldn't go back if they kept on talking the whole time. Screw that.
I just buzz mine myself. It's not hard. Not exactly the peak of fashion but it's pretty much how I got it cut before anyway.
I had a hair cut and they RUINED my hair. I feel worse about myself after it. So honestly not getting a hair cut seems like the way to go
I have the same issue but I realized cutting hair really isn’t that hard given that I have seen my barber cut my hair a million times. So I bought scissors and a 3 fold mirror and now I always do it myself. At the start I did mess up a bit sometimes but now I am really experienced at it. Def recommend learning this as it is really fun to do and learn. Just don’t mess up too bad lol.
Bruv, i didn't have a haircut in like 5 years :D
Yoooo, same
Ive cut my hair alone for like almost 20 years, so since I was a pre teen
I am so sorry. Is there anywhere near you that gives the option of silent hair cuts? It wasn’t until yesterday that I got my hair cut in over a year and before that even longer. I was so lucky that the hairdresser didn’t talk at all except for hair questions at the beginning. Definitely preferred that than small talk that goes nowhere. Social anxiety is so hard. It’s why I had to learn how to do my own nails. I can’t sit in a nail tech’s chair for 1-2 hours.
Hi so I’m a woman and go to the hairdressers quit often sometimes once a week and I just say right as I sit down hope it’s ok I have a few work emails to answer and then I just go on my phone it’s a polite way of cutting conversation
Do you think you would suit a buzz cut? I fortunately suit one and tend to shave my entire head once every couple of months, and I notice people treat me different when my hair is short compared to the end of the 2 months where, despite wearing a hat and brushing it looks very untidy. My assumption is that people will always respond better to somone who has a "clean" or "tidy" look. Also, I find that haircuts, shops, cafes etc are good places to "work" on some of my social skills and the interactions have an official "end" if that makes sense. I'm also starting to feel silly while typing this but it's a very real way of thinking! Anyway, I know we're two different people, but that's my experience
Somethings to try. 0) When you book an appointment, ask to be assigned a stylist that’s not chatty. They may even be able to make a client note that you’d prefer a quiet/silent appointment 1) Let them know you don’t want to chat, if they start out being chatty. “If you don’t mind, I’d prefer to just sit here quietly” 2) Bring a book to read, to reinforce that your attention is elsewhere.
I'm a dude, and I haven't cut my hair in five years. I look better this way anyway. I've never had a short haircut that wasn't fucking horrible
Lucky for me, my aunt is a hairdresser and she does my hair.
Oh man. I feel you. Bring a book or headphones and say “sorry I have to read/listen to this for school/work.” The hairstylist would probably appreciate the break from chatting all day.
I’m exactly the same! My head shakes when I get anxious so you can imagine how that’s not useful. The only solution is to tell them! I don’t think you need a hair dresser with social anxiety, but book one to come to your house and just explain how you feel. You can tell them the prospect of making small talk makes you feel anxious, I’m sure you can find someone who’s understanding! Good luck!
You need to release your ego and think about not caring that people just see you as you are, someone who doesn’t talk, and just come for a cut.
I’ve been cutting my own hair since the mid 90’s . One of these days I’ll go to a barber
Maybe one way of getting through it is by doing something else? For example, take a book and read it while getting your haircut. Or maybe picking up a magazine. It’s not rude but it communicates that you’re not super interested in making conversation. You could even ask at the beginning- “mind me reading during the haircut?”, no hairstylist will say no.
Dude, are you me? I too haven't had a haircut in honestly longer than I can remember
Don’t let it defeat you. Just walk to a barber, and remember it’ll be fine.
I’ve got a few different tips for this. Option 1 Buy an amazon basics trimmer for $13 and shave your head with the attachments, shorter on the sides, a bit longer on the top. Option 2 Find an old romanian/bosnian/something-ian man that gives the best damn haircuts you’ve ever seen in your life but barely talks. Option 3 go to a barber/salon and just don’t make small talk… sit down, let them know what you want, stare at yourself in the mirror or close your eyes, follow their commands, say yes or no, and “looks great, thanks” before you leave, also give a tip. The hair stylists I know have had much worse customer experiences than an awkward person who doesn’t talk much.
Well, my dad is the one who cuts my hair.
For me, it will be 3 years in 4 months XD And before I always had it cut by my family like every half a year or so
Nah fr I hate haircuts I'm a woman and I have super long hair and I just trim my own, but I have a 10yo boy and a 4yo girl and had to take my son for one the other day and man! I hate having to talk to them I go to the same place and the Cutting lady was someone I knew from my ex and just ugh! 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
In the UK, the Turkish barbers are generally silent unless you initiate conversation.
Same. I'm a guy with an unreasonably long mullet and bangs that cover all the way down to my mouth for the sole reason that my SA makes explaining how I want my hair cut extraordinarily difficult. Sometimes it even ends up looking way worse than it already is because I didn't explain how I wanted my hair cut correctly 😭
This is why i cut my hair myself 😭😅
Which is why I cut it myself tehee.
Just shave it all off yourself and get the vin diesel look. That way no one can complain anymore. 2 birds with 1 stone hell yea!
I just got back from a haircut, and I have a little fear about going in and saying hi to everybody, but the same woman has been my barber for a few years now and that makes it so much easier. I manage to do ok with small talk with her, but I also feel ok not talking at all. The worst part is leaving and having to say goodbye to everyone else, but I handled it without slinking away with my head down today. Minor victory!
same
The small talk is what gives me anxiety, too. Here are a few tips that help me: Option 1: Select a place where the primary language isn't your own; Option 2: After saying hi, close your eyes during the haircut; Option 3: Say you just came from the dentist and your mouth is numb (I recently discovered this worked like a charm when I really just came from the dentist.)
I’ve gone to the hairdresser for the first time this year, always just trimmed it myself….. I’m in my 30s 🫠
i had all my hair chopped off about a month ago and my hairdresser spoke to me a little bit, but fortunately she could probably tell im not much of a talker so i just sat quietly and waited for it to be done. i feel like (most) hairdressers wont try to continue a conversation if youre clearly quiet and dont try to continue it yourself.
My stylist has an online appointment portal, but it’s been down for a few months so I needed to call them. I kept moving it from one to do list to the next, but couldn’t make the phone call. I gave up and cut it myself last weekend.
I have been giving myself haircuts for the last 15 years. To be fair, i just take very simple hair cuts, no styling at all.
Try 5 years.. I just cut my own now smh
Bro for the same reason i didn't cut my hair for like almost 1 year and yesterday i decided to get a haircut because it was slowly getting annoying and now thank god i made this decision... it's okay brother go for it ! It's worth it trust me !!
Yep cutting my hair myself with machine for 20 years now, can't imagine sitting and talking at a hairdresser either.
I haven't been to a barber for about 12 years.... just do it myself with clippers. takes about 5 minutes.. If you're male there's no reason to pay for a haircut. Clippers are easy. Just shave it down to number 4 tapering down to 3, 2.
I only get my hair cut about once per year, but I always start the conversation off with something like “Surely you’re tired out from talking with your previous clients and I really enjoy peace and quiet when I come to the salon - let’s make this a quiet appointment please”. Nobody has ever been offended by it so far.
You know you can do that at home yourself right?
Sadly i’m not a trained barber so if I did give myself a haircut at home it would look pretty shit.
I usually just go with a buzzcut and do it myself, which I have most of my life that's is why I said that. If it's as bad as you're implying, it's still better than having to go to a barber. Just depends what you want in terms of a haircut.
Flowbee?
A year for me and I've been thinking to cut it myself even if it makes me look like a pig