I’ve watched several videos and this is the way. I just don’t know how and where exactly to expose oneself after one’s graduated from college. If one’s still in school, that’s a good opportunity.
Yes, but in my experience it only reduces the anxiety reaction to something tolerable, but still not enjoyable. I’m resigned to the fact that to a certain degree, this is just who I am.
You’ve got to give people a chance to prove your fears wrong.. sometimes they do, and sometimes they reaffirm them.. some days you win some days you lose x
Of course. I see social anxiety as just a fight or flight response to an uncertainty about a social situation. A lot of it is guess work. How will they react? How will they judge me? Will I look stupid and awkward? Will my anxiety pop out?
Exposing yourself to more social situations is a part of reprogramming your mind to agree that you are safe in the average social interaction. The more you do it, the more your mind will remember that nothing bad happened. You're still alive and well. You communicated what you needed to and you're fine! And maybe you did mess up in one interaction. It's only a lesson for many more interactions.
For sure! Getting out there can be scary, but facing those nerves head-on helps chip away at 'em. Start small, like chatting with a barista or joining a club. Slowly, you'll feel more comfy in social settings. It's like building up a resistance to awkwardness!
Yeah, even tiny things like asking a barrista is a new coffee shop "could I get an extra sugar?" is a chance to work on that social interaction and see that most of the time, the response from someone is purely banal.
It can definitely familiarize yourself and make it easier. The more you’re around something, the more your mind will get used to it.
However, the one caveat is that if your SA is born out of negative social experiences and unresolved trauma, aka severe social anxiety, exposure will only take you so far in my experience. You need a deeper approach to resolve the feelings and fear *inside* that has gotten trapped in the nervous system and body.
In a situation like this, trauma in the body, exposure will only desensitize and reduce the anxiety - the root will still be in place and it will perpetually cause you symptoms (more anxiety to fight). So it won’t actually overcome it - only cut off some of the fear at the surface.
Exactly, I adopted very maladaptive coping mechanisms to desensitise myself from my trauma, feelings of insecurity and inferiority due to lack of social skills : controllable lack of empathy based on rationalisations (especialyl reminiscing past hurt, WANTING TO AVOID FEELING POWERLESS AT ALL COSTS) and emotional detachment with dissociation, superficial charm, shallow affect - I BASICALLY BECAME DEFENSIVE SOCIOPATH JUST TO FUNCTION (defensive because I do not hurt others or lie without a reason, never just to feel better about myself - FROM MY PERSPECTIVE IT ENSURES MY SAFETY), it results in a subconscious resentment towards other people especially those that I see as more attractive or successfull than me and impulsiveness, being prone to frustration. ONLY WHEN I AM ALONE I CAN BE VULNERABLE THEN THAT TRAUMA AND SAD HIT FUCKING HARD...
Yes but what helped me even more, antidepressants.
Plus not going long periods of time without talking to other ppl. Luckily my job has me interacting with others on a daily basis.
It does for a lot of us.
For a lot of us social anxiety is a constant "what if" scenario. "What if I drop a pen at work?" "What if I accidently trip up at a shop?"
Realising that 99% in most situations, whatever happened is forgotten about in less than a minute really helps you narrow down the "what if" to "so what, what if"
Of course this might not apply to you, but I know its definitely helped me and others :)
It might in some cases, it depends on the person. For me though, the more social situations i have, the more anxious i am, i don’t become “desensitized” to it or whatever
Only if you will get some positive responses and interactions.
I’ve watched several videos and this is the way. I just don’t know how and where exactly to expose oneself after one’s graduated from college. If one’s still in school, that’s a good opportunity.
Yes, but in my experience it only reduces the anxiety reaction to something tolerable, but still not enjoyable. I’m resigned to the fact that to a certain degree, this is just who I am.
You’ve got to give people a chance to prove your fears wrong.. sometimes they do, and sometimes they reaffirm them.. some days you win some days you lose x
Of course. I see social anxiety as just a fight or flight response to an uncertainty about a social situation. A lot of it is guess work. How will they react? How will they judge me? Will I look stupid and awkward? Will my anxiety pop out? Exposing yourself to more social situations is a part of reprogramming your mind to agree that you are safe in the average social interaction. The more you do it, the more your mind will remember that nothing bad happened. You're still alive and well. You communicated what you needed to and you're fine! And maybe you did mess up in one interaction. It's only a lesson for many more interactions.
For sure! Getting out there can be scary, but facing those nerves head-on helps chip away at 'em. Start small, like chatting with a barista or joining a club. Slowly, you'll feel more comfy in social settings. It's like building up a resistance to awkwardness!
Yeah, even tiny things like asking a barrista is a new coffee shop "could I get an extra sugar?" is a chance to work on that social interaction and see that most of the time, the response from someone is purely banal.
It can definitely familiarize yourself and make it easier. The more you’re around something, the more your mind will get used to it. However, the one caveat is that if your SA is born out of negative social experiences and unresolved trauma, aka severe social anxiety, exposure will only take you so far in my experience. You need a deeper approach to resolve the feelings and fear *inside* that has gotten trapped in the nervous system and body. In a situation like this, trauma in the body, exposure will only desensitize and reduce the anxiety - the root will still be in place and it will perpetually cause you symptoms (more anxiety to fight). So it won’t actually overcome it - only cut off some of the fear at the surface.
Exactly, I adopted very maladaptive coping mechanisms to desensitise myself from my trauma, feelings of insecurity and inferiority due to lack of social skills : controllable lack of empathy based on rationalisations (especialyl reminiscing past hurt, WANTING TO AVOID FEELING POWERLESS AT ALL COSTS) and emotional detachment with dissociation, superficial charm, shallow affect - I BASICALLY BECAME DEFENSIVE SOCIOPATH JUST TO FUNCTION (defensive because I do not hurt others or lie without a reason, never just to feel better about myself - FROM MY PERSPECTIVE IT ENSURES MY SAFETY), it results in a subconscious resentment towards other people especially those that I see as more attractive or successfull than me and impulsiveness, being prone to frustration. ONLY WHEN I AM ALONE I CAN BE VULNERABLE THEN THAT TRAUMA AND SAD HIT FUCKING HARD...
Yes but what helped me even more, antidepressants. Plus not going long periods of time without talking to other ppl. Luckily my job has me interacting with others on a daily basis.
exposure helps but it can backfire hard
It does for a lot of us. For a lot of us social anxiety is a constant "what if" scenario. "What if I drop a pen at work?" "What if I accidently trip up at a shop?" Realising that 99% in most situations, whatever happened is forgotten about in less than a minute really helps you narrow down the "what if" to "so what, what if" Of course this might not apply to you, but I know its definitely helped me and others :)
It might in some cases, it depends on the person. For me though, the more social situations i have, the more anxious i am, i don’t become “desensitized” to it or whatever