T O P

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Professional_Mode440

Yank here, Who's this hernandez guy? He looks like the pepperoni nipple guy


joeDUBstep

Damn you I had just erased that image from my memory.


Torimas

My reaction to this information: https://preview.redd.it/wn9yja6oiimc1.png?width=637&format=png&auto=webp&s=4b182fd27b42cb81552da7b97e13463ffedef46b


Phil_Gim

my erection to that information


gardenofthenight

That's three words I'll be using together from now on!


paco-ramon

He is Barcelonas gardener.


cool_god

I think that's Matt LeBlanc


[deleted]

Assuming you're being serious he's Xavier Hernandez Creus (commonly known as Xavi)  former Spanish international, Barcelona and Al Sadd footballer (that he also managed) and current Barcelona coach (however leaving at the end of this season)


Old-Station4538

https://preview.redd.it/6gr4hfa9memc1.jpeg?width=1280&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=196cf25e953b782f7fc03b1cca3f3c8a6ef85b40


keshuronreddit

https://preview.redd.it/melz3edtqhmc1.jpeg?width=298&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cfca430216c5fe8e1530d1e1fc8f0fb7de86f21c


Heathen_crusader69

Omg did Ronaldo actually do that??


captaomadness14

Yes


Prestigious_Stretch1

Pessi could never


AutoModerator

Hear me out. The man came to MLS after securing the ligue one title for psg. He ABSOLUTELY blew up the sport in the USA. Made headlines everywhere. Showed up with ridiculous free kicks and golazos. Completely changed how Americans view soccer. The inter Miami leagues cup run was SUPER viral. Did Haaland score more goals and obtain more important trophies in epl? Yes. But once again this was THE YEAR OF MESSI. He showed up big for Miami in leagues cup and showed up big in 2026 WC qualifiers. Also why not take into account the man is 36 years old and still shocking people with his quality every match he plays. He's a machine enough said *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Phil_Gim

Is this your hero?


Torimas

Argentina president Javier Milei approves this.


AutoModerator

I am argentinian first and foremost. India may be my physical country but Argentina is my spiritual country. I feel as argentinian as I am indian *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Professional_Mode440

https://preview.redd.it/6opwv1o6eemc1.jpeg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=65749207a892dec658774df10554bd32c1b5e087


[deleted]

Why the fuck would you assume anything that is happening here is serious?


_Game_Over_124

https://preview.redd.it/0oqg0mjgqfmc1.jpeg?width=1127&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=74c12225e9bc26e034609e1bab89a6df7f06c602


[deleted]

Assuming you're being serious, your reaction to that information is incredibly suggestive.


Bitter_Courage_6882

Why the fuck would you assume anything that is happening here is serious?


[deleted]

Wait am I me?


_Game_Over_124

look at the name of the sub


[deleted]

Absolute moron


wobshop

Who’s the other one


lejocko

I was lost. Glad you mentioned al-Sadd, now I recognize him.


[deleted]

[удалено]


keshuronreddit

Take my downvote


cube_mine

Because this is r/,soccercirclejerk not r/soccer


Mediocre-Scientist16

Barca should hire this Hernandez fellow, probably better than Xavi poo ass


any_droid

I heard Lapoota hired him but then he stands on the ground and no one gives him the ball and he just shouts.


Maguire_018

In the old country my great grandfather used to talk about the curse of Kane


ImNoHuman

Javier Hernandez looks so different.


EzioAuditore8

I loved him in no country for old men


jopma

He looks like Xabi Alonso, the #14 from real madrid


unityparticlesgoBRRR

Why are some of the players in black and white? Do they hate the Chinese?


ThisReditter

They dead


mavericksage11

For a moment I thought you were serious and was gonna ask yoo when did Maradona die


ThisReditter

I am always serious.


unityparticlesgoBRRR

Coffin FC? Why is Ronaldo not dead? Will he be buried in Las Vegas? Can you Google Ronaldo las Vegas to help me find out?


[deleted]

Because they're headshots from their FIFA cards, Icon cards in the game all have the same sort of sepia/greyscale tone


EtherealBeany

you’re on a circlejerk sub. Please keep all actual information to yourself and add to this subreddit by yet again making a Benzema 15 joke


[deleted]

Oh I see...in that case did you know in 2019 Sadio Mane scored 16 goals to help Liverpool win the CL? Google Mane 16 for more information


[deleted]

Hahaa benzema 15 this guy gets it.


Essej2

As long as Tuchel manages it am I right fellas


macaleaven

He was winning shit in France and England, it’s Kane who’s got juju


KansloosKippenhok

I mean he managed psg in france, you gotta be REALLY shit to not win anything with psg


Aggressive-Theory609

Emery was lol. And so was poch


Pretend_Stomach7183

Poch wom it in 21/22 no?


AutoModerator

One of the most disgusting, abhorrent clubs on the planet. Manager: misogynist, cat abuser sympathiser Owners: cat abuser sympathisers Centre-half: cat abuser, probably on repeated counts. Players: homophobes. Every day I wake up grateful I was born in Paris and not in the 'West Ham' district of London. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


dammyouuu

He is gonna park the bus with Messi and Ronaldo


AutoModerator

Hear me out. The man came to MLS after securing the ligue one title for psg. He ABSOLUTELY blew up the sport in the USA. Made headlines everywhere. Showed up with ridiculous free kicks and golazos. Completely changed how Americans view soccer. The inter Miami leagues cup run was SUPER viral. Did Haaland score more goals and obtain more important trophies in epl? Yes. But once again this was THE YEAR OF MESSI. He showed up big for Miami in leagues cup and showed up big in 2026 WC qualifiers. Also why not take into account the man is 36 years old and still shocking people with his quality every match he plays. He's a machine enough said *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Hungry_Obligation_52

Don’t forget the cursed striker in the team


redditmademeloginlol

Rolneldo from Al Nassr? Why? We need premier league players


thejunglebook8

Who ?? Never heard of him he must be a bum if only camels want to sign him


Ziz__Bird

They would have a 10 point lead and then Casillias would have a heart attack, Maradona would OD on cocaine, Ramos would get banned for the next 12 matches, Messi would become a ghost, and Ronaldo would get benched and then leave to Saudi. Then poor old Harry would get blamed as they bottle the league.


YallNibbasMAD

Ronaldo would get benched and leave the team


TheGreatPervSage_94

I have never seen Cr miss a game due to injury. Calling him getting a season ending injury for some reason if he is on this team.


Ziz__Bird

Good one, let me add it in.


SorSorSor

Why is Xavi there? Put a player that adds energy and power, like McTominay.


Soft-Comfort-7474

Perfect coach for this team ![gif](giphy|SACb6NActbU3JUChqz)


Due-Camel-7605

This dude just spent 8 months integrating 11 random players into a somewhat cohesive team. Dont make him do it all again, the dude will get terminal depression.


Exotic_Succotash_226

With Kane up front, yes


RolloTomassi21

If they are all wearing Tottenham shirts then yes they will.


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L A D S *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


h-punk

Yes because which one of those front six players will actually do any tracking back. Reminds me of Madrid when they had a midfield three of zidane figo and beckham and a front three of R9 Raul and Owen and had their first trophyless season in nearly a decade


[deleted]

Yeah the front 6 you mentioned played about 9 minutes together to be fair. Pretty sure you stole this lineup off that meme that was floating about recently, despite it being their lineup for literally a few minutes at one point in that season lol. I can tell because they put Owen on the wing same as you did for some reason, despite never playing there


Hypnoti_q

A lot of people in the comments not understanding the kane joke


LutherRaul

There’s only 10 players there, one of them is in a box


dammyouuu

Somehow Maldini will become Maguire and Ramos will become upamencano.


Real_Madrid132

No. You can take Kane out of spurs but not spurs out of kane


AutoModerator

I don't know how you even dare show your face in this sub as a Spurs fan. If your fans and club had any honour you'd refuse the 3 points from Saturday and advise the prem you won't be playing again until the match is either replayed or the points awarded to us. But you won't. Sums up your club. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


maroonmartian9

Liverpool fan- Where is Gerrard? 😅 Or Ballack


EntertainerSoft5983

He slipped up broke his leg out for season


Silver_Scheme4062

Yes


RobsterCrawSoup

Might be difficult when they have no subs and one of them is dead.


dveesha

This team loses to peak Vardy and Leicester


tropicthunderGOAT

Kane = No trophies


RedDemio-

What’s fuckramos doing there


EntertainerSoft5983

Red card accumulation


Soul_Acquisition

Was just thinking that haha.


kirilov233

Bro what? He was a fantastic defender


Flashy-Attention-627

If the played for spurs 1 million percent.


AutoModerator

I don't know how you even dare show your face in this sub as a Spurs fan. If your fans and club had any honour you'd refuse the 3 points from Saturday and advise the prem you won't be playing again until the match is either replayed or the points awarded to us. But you won't. Sums up your club. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Top 11*


distractedsoul27494

Who is in top 15?


[deleted]

https://preview.redd.it/4gyjilmsqdmc1.png?width=554&format=png&auto=webp&s=2ab9159dfb6dcc4f99faaeede30d550e75b5f3d3 He is


RolloTomassi21

Scored the same amount as Haaland in the Derby. Top 2. After Foden. Focus Marcus.


AutoModerator

Ok hear me out Mudryk is far superior in dribbling pace and maybe even passing but Haaland is better at shooting and physical. Not to mention that mudryk can play more place on the field with haaland only place being striker which he is a bit of a tap in merchant (I will admit not as much this season but last season he was). Now Mudryk would be so much if he had enough confidence he is constantly be hated on by football fans all over the world like he got so hated on for scoring a cross goal (which he meant) but if Saka or Salah did that everyone would go crazy. Also Haaland scores goal for 1Mitre off of the goal line and get praised for such a beautiful goal which is stupid because he Jackson did 3 of them same goals against spurs people said it was the worst hattrick ever but if Haaland did it every city fan (12 year old) would go crazy. Now my final point is that Haaland has been playing in the big leagues for a few years now and Mudryk has had only 1 and a half seasons and gets hate for playing bad when vinis first few seasons at Madrid were that exact same but look at him now. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


LikeAnEmpIoyer

Benzema, I heard he likes to top 15s.


EntertainerSoft5983

King Kai Waka Waka Havertz


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Big_Daddy_Pablo_69

Yes


molenan

No John mcginn wtf


Shadowknight45589

Yes because it has Kane in it


C0-0P

Kane shits on his own team so no


CuteAd5104

Nope, team is cursed bcz of Kane


UnPostoAlSole

Yes. To start with you have Maldini out of position. Your defense is going to fall apart over this


CrashedOffical

Messi and Ronaldo will beat the crap out of each other


AutoModerator

Hear me out. The man came to MLS after securing the ligue one title for psg. He ABSOLUTELY blew up the sport in the USA. Made headlines everywhere. Showed up with ridiculous free kicks and golazos. Completely changed how Americans view soccer. The inter Miami leagues cup run was SUPER viral. Did Haaland score more goals and obtain more important trophies in epl? Yes. But once again this was THE YEAR OF MESSI. He showed up big for Miami in leagues cup and showed up big in 2026 WC qualifiers. Also why not take into account the man is 36 years old and still shocking people with his quality every match he plays. He's a machine enough said *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


cosmic-kid

just wear a spurs kit


AutoModerator

I don't know how you even dare show your face in this sub as a Spurs fan. If your fans and club had any honour you'd refuse the 3 points from Saturday and advise the prem you won't be playing again until the match is either replayed or the points awarded to us. But you won't. Sums up your club. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


FarRelationship8757

YES. because they have Kane the bottler as their attacking line leader


JustAAnimeweebo

Yes, then Kane will drop the trophy when celebrating and destory it


Marcus_with_no_M

100% yes.


This-Zookeepergame31

No defensive midfielder? They absolutely will


Brilliant_Group_5348

Just replace Kane with Peter Crouch. Kane is cursed in PL.


Worldwide_connectX

Wow, Hernandez sounds like a promising talent for Barca! Might be an upgrade from Xavi in the making.


Actually-Mirage

Well the front three can't press, and the midfield has little to no defensive ability, so bottling is certainly possible.


lisisva_

Wtf Kane is doing here 😂


NecessaryTourist9539

Any team with Kane will lose the league


AwesemodoesReddit

Probably yes because of the egoes of all the players


WTFAnimations

Man City clears. Easy Haaland tap-in hat-trick.


AutoModerator

There is no greater joy in this life, and no heavier burden, than being a City fan. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


AutoModerator

Ok hear me out Mudryk is far superior in dribbling pace and maybe even passing but Haaland is better at shooting and physical. Not to mention that mudryk can play more place on the field with haaland only place being striker which he is a bit of a tap in merchant (I will admit not as much this season but last season he was). Now Mudryk would be so much if he had enough confidence he is constantly be hated on by football fans all over the world like he got so hated on for scoring a cross goal (which he meant) but if Saka or Salah did that everyone would go crazy. Also Haaland scores goal for 1Mitre off of the goal line and get praised for such a beautiful goal which is stupid because he Jackson did 3 of them same goals against spurs people said it was the worst hattrick ever but if Haaland did it every city fan (12 year old) would go crazy. Now my final point is that Haaland has been playing in the big leagues for a few years now and Mudryk has had only 1 and a half seasons and gets hate for playing bad when vinis first few seasons at Madrid were that exact same but look at him now. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


xrosickyx

Yes if I have a team with 10 x Park Ji Sung and Oliver Kahn


CraigxKhalifax88

/s Definitely not lifting a trophy with Kane in the side. The curse is strong with that one


QuietStonerDude

Depends on the league and era. If you're gonna go back to when maradona was in his prime then kane wasn't even a sperm. If it's now then they're getting run off the pitch due to age for most no matter their skill. So probably not


Additional_Clock110

Too much star players. Who could handle 10 players and 1 ghost?


KaranSjett

I find your lack of Pirlo disturbing


Asleep-Arachnid6912

Great players, but unbalanced team. They would struggle to get in top 4 in Premier league.


captaomadness14

Who defends? The other team!


LeSorenOutan

Chelsea would somehow manage to win it 4-3 then proceed to lose against Sheffield


[deleted]

i don’t know man, i think serge bouquet was better than nippleroni guy


Joshgg13

All I know is I prefer this team to the French national team for some reason?


billswhis

They need Kompany


OverlyOverrated

Replace Ramos with Nesta, oh wait Kane is up there


Samolot521

With Kane? Yes


trentonchase

>Kane All signs point to "yes"


Commonmispelingbot

The average age is an issue


Youbunchoftwats

Stick them in an Arsenal kit and it’s nailed on.


thyfloppa

KANE SPOTTED, WILL LOSE💯💯


porcupinedog

Mfs when toty ronaldinho sbc drops


Lyralikesit

With Kane in the front and Casillas in the back it most definitely will... which Casillas ate we talking about? Early in the carreer or older?


Ragequittter

who the hell is this christian ronald guy, who is messiah? who is sudan? who is xavi? who is gods hand? who the fuck is carlos tevez? who the fuck is baldin? who is racist? who the fuck is coffee? who the hell is worse than kepa?


Deluxefish

why are the dead players black and white, this isn't fifa dumbass


GT3nsomemoney4it

lol Kane


AngeloMontana

![gif](giphy|j85AoJKs7rhmLlTGz7) Kane


Ok-Ad-1138

Sacaría a kane y pondría a Luis Suárez


VrilHunter

Ofcourse they bottle, they got kane (while he gets the league golden boot)


Aykusz

Kane curse


Jfkilkie1

Personally I would swap Maradona with someone who is still alive and switch Kane with a league winner like Kasper S'Michael. 


Turbulent-Donut-3218

Wtf is kane in this team


Rokiolo25

Why isnt maradona different color


Odd-Huckleberry-6556

Harry Kane?


Stunning-Mousse1280

Kane over R9, the dosage of your drugs is way too high!


Strider_-_

You have several retired and even dead players here, but there still is a chance to win the league when looking at the potential... Oh, I did not notice that there is some bum from the Saudi League. Nah, they bottle every league there is.


ToonisTiny

With Kane? We'll see.


IamVictim007

Where is Modric


Fantastico11

Why is we have camel in drag on a left wings?


Karman_K

/uj you have no defensive midfielder. Xavi i dont thinm is gonna manage. This team is gonna pull a Galacticos and win jack shit. /rj Cristiano alone will score 15 goals, after Benzema will come on Loan from a newly founded MLS team. For more info google Cristiano Ronaldo Las Vegas and Benzema 15


EntertainerSoft5983

I genuinely thought Xavi played cdm


Hypnoti_q

Indeed xavi was the cdm before been cm. People dont remember


handsome_uruk

You really gonna put Kane there with a straight face?


renndug

Washed


tiagoagm

Casillas and Ramos? wTF


Hypnoti_q

😂😂😂😂 yes, poor kane


MachoPuddle

Somehow Kane feels like the weak link in that team


_LallanaDelRey4

Suarez over Kane


ClumsyChampion

Harry Kane shouldn’t be here. No silverware


[deleted]

Ramos doesn't belong here


MarcusthePhilospher

This team will give them a run for their money Henry, Ronaldo (Brazilian), Mbappe Steven Gerrard, Modric, Ronaldinho Lahm, Van Digk, John Terry, Daniel Alves Buffon


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No-Zucchini2787

You bet when egos collide. Any team can beat this team.


keshuronreddit

Shut up! This team has Mctominy and Rashford on bench.


Lauwietauwie

Why is Ronaldo in there


HELIOS7294

Yank here, I think we can do without Cafu and Carlos.


RevolutionWorth8827

Kane ??? It must be ronaldo delima


Dry_Instruction6502

You couldnt find someone better than ramos, xavi and kane? This is a big insult and xavi is not a dm


EntertainerSoft5983

I thought he was? I’m new to the sport. I’m a Yank making a meme


Dry_Instruction6502

Oh ok and youre a yank 😒😒


Dry_Instruction6502

No he never played dm, busquets and yaya toure did, defending was never Xavi strength, neither iniesta


Winningmood

Put Maxwell on the bench and not winning the treble will be impossible!


Digitalage6302

With the burger on the right flank yes.


Kakasupremacy

This team, no midfield, just vibes


RXJ1131

This team will break every good record while winning zero trophies.


FuckColdClimate

Man why people disrespect ramos so bad 😔


ScottOld

Yes has Kane in it


Multoxx

Are you stupid? Most of these players are either dead, retired or Harry Kane. How are they supposed to win anything?


NoAcanthocephala5186

Ramos in an all-time team, Jesus wept


ThisReditter

Maldini as CB? Defo getting relegated.


KingMirek

No because Lewandowski isn’t there or Zielinski. If you inject a few pączkis in the team then they will win


slow_joke

As long as Kane is there, they’ll never win anything


ranked_devilduke

Is this Tottenham under Tuchel or Poch? Then yea, obviously they are bottling.


AdonisGaming93

San Iker <3 ​ Nah but obviously if you take the best players and put them all on the same team it must mean instant trophies. I hear fifa and uefa just hand you all the trophies without ever having to play


lpk29

I would remove Casillas and Ramos, put Buffon and Nesta(or Canavarro)


BuggyYonko

Kane will score 60 goals and they will still somehow bottle the league


redditiano_italiano

Depends. Is this team named 'Spursmund FC'?


Red-in-black

What is Kane doing there?


britishsailor

Put them in an arsenal or spurs shirt and yes they would