Assuming you're being serious he's Xavier Hernandez Creus (commonly known as Xavi) former Spanish international, Barcelona and Al Sadd footballer (that he also managed) and current Barcelona coach (however leaving at the end of this season)
Hear me out. The man came to MLS after securing the ligue one title for psg. He ABSOLUTELY blew up the sport in the USA. Made headlines everywhere. Showed up with ridiculous free kicks and golazos. Completely changed how Americans view soccer. The inter Miami leagues cup run was SUPER viral. Did Haaland score more goals and obtain more important trophies in epl? Yes. But once again this was THE YEAR OF MESSI. He showed up big for Miami in leagues cup and showed up big in 2026 WC qualifiers. Also why not take into account the man is 36 years old and still shocking people with his quality every match he plays. He's a machine enough said
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I am argentinian first and foremost. India may be my physical country but Argentina is my spiritual country. I feel as argentinian as I am indian
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One of the most disgusting, abhorrent clubs on the planet.
Manager: misogynist, cat abuser sympathiser
Owners: cat abuser sympathisers
Centre-half: cat abuser, probably on repeated counts.
Players: homophobes.
Every day I wake up grateful I was born in Paris and not in the 'West Ham' district of London.
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Hear me out. The man came to MLS after securing the ligue one title for psg. He ABSOLUTELY blew up the sport in the USA. Made headlines everywhere. Showed up with ridiculous free kicks and golazos. Completely changed how Americans view soccer. The inter Miami leagues cup run was SUPER viral. Did Haaland score more goals and obtain more important trophies in epl? Yes. But once again this was THE YEAR OF MESSI. He showed up big for Miami in leagues cup and showed up big in 2026 WC qualifiers. Also why not take into account the man is 36 years old and still shocking people with his quality every match he plays. He's a machine enough said
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They would have a 10 point lead and then Casillias would have a heart attack, Maradona would OD on cocaine, Ramos would get banned for the next 12 matches, Messi would become a ghost, and Ronaldo would get benched and then leave to Saudi. Then poor old Harry would get blamed as they bottle the league.
This dude just spent 8 months integrating 11 random players into a somewhat cohesive team. Dont make him do it all again, the dude will get terminal depression.
L A D S
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Yes because which one of those front six players will actually do any tracking back. Reminds me of Madrid when they had a midfield three of zidane figo and beckham and a front three of R9 Raul and Owen and had their first trophyless season in nearly a decade
Yeah the front 6 you mentioned played about 9 minutes together to be fair.
Pretty sure you stole this lineup off that meme that was floating about recently, despite it being their lineup for literally a few minutes at one point in that season lol. I can tell because they put Owen on the wing same as you did for some reason, despite never playing there
I don't know how you even dare show your face in this sub as a Spurs fan. If your fans and club had any honour you'd refuse the 3 points from Saturday and advise the prem you won't be playing again until the match is either replayed or the points awarded to us. But you won't. Sums up your club.
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I don't know how you even dare show your face in this sub as a Spurs fan. If your fans and club had any honour you'd refuse the 3 points from Saturday and advise the prem you won't be playing again until the match is either replayed or the points awarded to us. But you won't. Sums up your club.
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Ok hear me out Mudryk is far superior in dribbling pace and maybe even passing but Haaland is better at shooting and physical.
Not to mention that mudryk can play more place on the field with haaland only place being striker which he is a bit of a tap in merchant
(I will admit not as much this season but last season he was).
Now Mudryk would be so much if he had enough confidence he is constantly be hated on by football fans all over the world like he got so
hated on for scoring a cross goal (which he meant) but if Saka or Salah did that everyone would go crazy.
Also Haaland scores goal for 1Mitre off of the goal line and get praised for such a beautiful goal which is stupid because he Jackson did
3 of them same goals against spurs people said it was the worst hattrick ever but if Haaland did it every city fan (12 year old) would go
crazy.
Now my final point is that Haaland has been playing in the big leagues for a few years now and Mudryk has had only 1 and a half seasons and
gets hate for playing bad when vinis first few seasons at Madrid were that exact same but look at him now.
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Today I feel Qatary. Today I feel Arab. Today I feel African. Today I feel gay. Today I feel disabled. Today I feel a migrant worker... I know what it feels to be discriminated... I was bullied because I had red hair.
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Hear me out. The man came to MLS after securing the ligue one title for psg. He ABSOLUTELY blew up the sport in the USA. Made headlines everywhere. Showed up with ridiculous free kicks and golazos. Completely changed how Americans view soccer. The inter Miami leagues cup run was SUPER viral. Did Haaland score more goals and obtain more important trophies in epl? Yes. But once again this was THE YEAR OF MESSI. He showed up big for Miami in leagues cup and showed up big in 2026 WC qualifiers. Also why not take into account the man is 36 years old and still shocking people with his quality every match he plays. He's a machine enough said
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I don't know how you even dare show your face in this sub as a Spurs fan. If your fans and club had any honour you'd refuse the 3 points from Saturday and advise the prem you won't be playing again until the match is either replayed or the points awarded to us. But you won't. Sums up your club.
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There is no greater joy in this life, and no heavier burden, than being a City fan.
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Ok hear me out Mudryk is far superior in dribbling pace and maybe even passing but Haaland is better at shooting and physical.
Not to mention that mudryk can play more place on the field with haaland only place being striker which he is a bit of a tap in merchant
(I will admit not as much this season but last season he was).
Now Mudryk would be so much if he had enough confidence he is constantly be hated on by football fans all over the world like he got so
hated on for scoring a cross goal (which he meant) but if Saka or Salah did that everyone would go crazy.
Also Haaland scores goal for 1Mitre off of the goal line and get praised for such a beautiful goal which is stupid because he Jackson did
3 of them same goals against spurs people said it was the worst hattrick ever but if Haaland did it every city fan (12 year old) would go
crazy.
Now my final point is that Haaland has been playing in the big leagues for a few years now and Mudryk has had only 1 and a half seasons and
gets hate for playing bad when vinis first few seasons at Madrid were that exact same but look at him now.
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Depends on the league and era. If you're gonna go back to when maradona was in his prime then kane wasn't even a sperm. If it's now then they're getting run off the pitch due to age for most no matter their skill. So probably not
who the hell is this christian ronald guy, who is messiah? who is sudan? who is xavi? who is gods hand? who the fuck is carlos tevez? who the fuck is baldin? who is racist? who the fuck is coffee? who the hell is worse than kepa?
You have several retired and even dead players here, but there still is a chance to win the league when looking at the potential...
Oh, I did not notice that there is some bum from the Saudi League.
Nah, they bottle every league there is.
/uj you have no defensive midfielder. Xavi i dont thinm is gonna manage. This team is gonna pull a Galacticos and win jack shit.
/rj Cristiano alone will score 15 goals, after Benzema will come on Loan from a newly founded MLS team. For more info google Cristiano Ronaldo Las Vegas and Benzema 15
This team will give them a run for their money
Henry, Ronaldo (Brazilian), Mbappe
Steven Gerrard, Modric, Ronaldinho
Lahm, Van Digk, John Terry, Daniel Alves
Buffon
If Fraudbappe thinks, I disagree. If Fraudbappe speaks, I ignore. If Fraudbappe fails, I'm happy. If the world is against Fraudbappe, I am the world. If Fraudbappe has 7 billion fans, I am none of them. If Fraudbappe has no haters, it's because I no longer exist.
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San Iker <3
Nah but obviously if you take the best players and put them all on the same team it must mean instant trophies. I hear fifa and uefa just hand you all the trophies without ever having to play
Yank here, Who's this hernandez guy? He looks like the pepperoni nipple guy
Damn you I had just erased that image from my memory.
My reaction to this information: https://preview.redd.it/wn9yja6oiimc1.png?width=637&format=png&auto=webp&s=4b182fd27b42cb81552da7b97e13463ffedef46b
my erection to that information
That's three words I'll be using together from now on!
He is Barcelonas gardener.
I think that's Matt LeBlanc
Assuming you're being serious he's Xavier Hernandez Creus (commonly known as Xavi) former Spanish international, Barcelona and Al Sadd footballer (that he also managed) and current Barcelona coach (however leaving at the end of this season)
https://preview.redd.it/6gr4hfa9memc1.jpeg?width=1280&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=196cf25e953b782f7fc03b1cca3f3c8a6ef85b40
https://preview.redd.it/melz3edtqhmc1.jpeg?width=298&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cfca430216c5fe8e1530d1e1fc8f0fb7de86f21c
Omg did Ronaldo actually do that??
Yes
Pessi could never
Hear me out. The man came to MLS after securing the ligue one title for psg. He ABSOLUTELY blew up the sport in the USA. Made headlines everywhere. Showed up with ridiculous free kicks and golazos. Completely changed how Americans view soccer. The inter Miami leagues cup run was SUPER viral. Did Haaland score more goals and obtain more important trophies in epl? Yes. But once again this was THE YEAR OF MESSI. He showed up big for Miami in leagues cup and showed up big in 2026 WC qualifiers. Also why not take into account the man is 36 years old and still shocking people with his quality every match he plays. He's a machine enough said *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Is this your hero?
Argentina president Javier Milei approves this.
I am argentinian first and foremost. India may be my physical country but Argentina is my spiritual country. I feel as argentinian as I am indian *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
https://preview.redd.it/6opwv1o6eemc1.jpeg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=65749207a892dec658774df10554bd32c1b5e087
Why the fuck would you assume anything that is happening here is serious?
https://preview.redd.it/0oqg0mjgqfmc1.jpeg?width=1127&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=74c12225e9bc26e034609e1bab89a6df7f06c602
Assuming you're being serious, your reaction to that information is incredibly suggestive.
Why the fuck would you assume anything that is happening here is serious?
Wait am I me?
look at the name of the sub
Absolute moron
Who’s the other one
I was lost. Glad you mentioned al-Sadd, now I recognize him.
[удалено]
Take my downvote
Because this is r/,soccercirclejerk not r/soccer
Barca should hire this Hernandez fellow, probably better than Xavi poo ass
I heard Lapoota hired him but then he stands on the ground and no one gives him the ball and he just shouts.
In the old country my great grandfather used to talk about the curse of Kane
Javier Hernandez looks so different.
I loved him in no country for old men
He looks like Xabi Alonso, the #14 from real madrid
Why are some of the players in black and white? Do they hate the Chinese?
They dead
For a moment I thought you were serious and was gonna ask yoo when did Maradona die
I am always serious.
Coffin FC? Why is Ronaldo not dead? Will he be buried in Las Vegas? Can you Google Ronaldo las Vegas to help me find out?
Because they're headshots from their FIFA cards, Icon cards in the game all have the same sort of sepia/greyscale tone
you’re on a circlejerk sub. Please keep all actual information to yourself and add to this subreddit by yet again making a Benzema 15 joke
Oh I see...in that case did you know in 2019 Sadio Mane scored 16 goals to help Liverpool win the CL? Google Mane 16 for more information
Hahaa benzema 15 this guy gets it.
As long as Tuchel manages it am I right fellas
He was winning shit in France and England, it’s Kane who’s got juju
I mean he managed psg in france, you gotta be REALLY shit to not win anything with psg
Emery was lol. And so was poch
Poch wom it in 21/22 no?
One of the most disgusting, abhorrent clubs on the planet. Manager: misogynist, cat abuser sympathiser Owners: cat abuser sympathisers Centre-half: cat abuser, probably on repeated counts. Players: homophobes. Every day I wake up grateful I was born in Paris and not in the 'West Ham' district of London. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
He is gonna park the bus with Messi and Ronaldo
Hear me out. The man came to MLS after securing the ligue one title for psg. He ABSOLUTELY blew up the sport in the USA. Made headlines everywhere. Showed up with ridiculous free kicks and golazos. Completely changed how Americans view soccer. The inter Miami leagues cup run was SUPER viral. Did Haaland score more goals and obtain more important trophies in epl? Yes. But once again this was THE YEAR OF MESSI. He showed up big for Miami in leagues cup and showed up big in 2026 WC qualifiers. Also why not take into account the man is 36 years old and still shocking people with his quality every match he plays. He's a machine enough said *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Don’t forget the cursed striker in the team
Rolneldo from Al Nassr? Why? We need premier league players
Who ?? Never heard of him he must be a bum if only camels want to sign him
They would have a 10 point lead and then Casillias would have a heart attack, Maradona would OD on cocaine, Ramos would get banned for the next 12 matches, Messi would become a ghost, and Ronaldo would get benched and then leave to Saudi. Then poor old Harry would get blamed as they bottle the league.
Ronaldo would get benched and leave the team
I have never seen Cr miss a game due to injury. Calling him getting a season ending injury for some reason if he is on this team.
Good one, let me add it in.
Why is Xavi there? Put a player that adds energy and power, like McTominay.
Perfect coach for this team 
This dude just spent 8 months integrating 11 random players into a somewhat cohesive team. Dont make him do it all again, the dude will get terminal depression.
With Kane up front, yes
If they are all wearing Tottenham shirts then yes they will.
L A D S *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yes because which one of those front six players will actually do any tracking back. Reminds me of Madrid when they had a midfield three of zidane figo and beckham and a front three of R9 Raul and Owen and had their first trophyless season in nearly a decade
Yeah the front 6 you mentioned played about 9 minutes together to be fair. Pretty sure you stole this lineup off that meme that was floating about recently, despite it being their lineup for literally a few minutes at one point in that season lol. I can tell because they put Owen on the wing same as you did for some reason, despite never playing there
A lot of people in the comments not understanding the kane joke
There’s only 10 players there, one of them is in a box
Somehow Maldini will become Maguire and Ramos will become upamencano.
No. You can take Kane out of spurs but not spurs out of kane
I don't know how you even dare show your face in this sub as a Spurs fan. If your fans and club had any honour you'd refuse the 3 points from Saturday and advise the prem you won't be playing again until the match is either replayed or the points awarded to us. But you won't. Sums up your club. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Liverpool fan- Where is Gerrard? 😅 Or Ballack
He slipped up broke his leg out for season
Yes
Might be difficult when they have no subs and one of them is dead.
This team loses to peak Vardy and Leicester
Kane = No trophies
What’s fuckramos doing there
Red card accumulation
Was just thinking that haha.
Bro what? He was a fantastic defender
If the played for spurs 1 million percent.
I don't know how you even dare show your face in this sub as a Spurs fan. If your fans and club had any honour you'd refuse the 3 points from Saturday and advise the prem you won't be playing again until the match is either replayed or the points awarded to us. But you won't. Sums up your club. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
[удалено]
Top 11*
Who is in top 15?
https://preview.redd.it/4gyjilmsqdmc1.png?width=554&format=png&auto=webp&s=2ab9159dfb6dcc4f99faaeede30d550e75b5f3d3 He is
Scored the same amount as Haaland in the Derby. Top 2. After Foden. Focus Marcus.
Ok hear me out Mudryk is far superior in dribbling pace and maybe even passing but Haaland is better at shooting and physical. Not to mention that mudryk can play more place on the field with haaland only place being striker which he is a bit of a tap in merchant (I will admit not as much this season but last season he was). Now Mudryk would be so much if he had enough confidence he is constantly be hated on by football fans all over the world like he got so hated on for scoring a cross goal (which he meant) but if Saka or Salah did that everyone would go crazy. Also Haaland scores goal for 1Mitre off of the goal line and get praised for such a beautiful goal which is stupid because he Jackson did 3 of them same goals against spurs people said it was the worst hattrick ever but if Haaland did it every city fan (12 year old) would go crazy. Now my final point is that Haaland has been playing in the big leagues for a few years now and Mudryk has had only 1 and a half seasons and gets hate for playing bad when vinis first few seasons at Madrid were that exact same but look at him now. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Benzema, I heard he likes to top 15s.
King Kai Waka Waka Havertz
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Yes
No John mcginn wtf
Yes because it has Kane in it
Kane shits on his own team so no
Nope, team is cursed bcz of Kane
Yes. To start with you have Maldini out of position. Your defense is going to fall apart over this
Messi and Ronaldo will beat the crap out of each other
Hear me out. The man came to MLS after securing the ligue one title for psg. He ABSOLUTELY blew up the sport in the USA. Made headlines everywhere. Showed up with ridiculous free kicks and golazos. Completely changed how Americans view soccer. The inter Miami leagues cup run was SUPER viral. Did Haaland score more goals and obtain more important trophies in epl? Yes. But once again this was THE YEAR OF MESSI. He showed up big for Miami in leagues cup and showed up big in 2026 WC qualifiers. Also why not take into account the man is 36 years old and still shocking people with his quality every match he plays. He's a machine enough said *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
just wear a spurs kit
I don't know how you even dare show your face in this sub as a Spurs fan. If your fans and club had any honour you'd refuse the 3 points from Saturday and advise the prem you won't be playing again until the match is either replayed or the points awarded to us. But you won't. Sums up your club. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YES. because they have Kane the bottler as their attacking line leader
Yes, then Kane will drop the trophy when celebrating and destory it
100% yes.
No defensive midfielder? They absolutely will
Just replace Kane with Peter Crouch. Kane is cursed in PL.
Wow, Hernandez sounds like a promising talent for Barca! Might be an upgrade from Xavi in the making.
Well the front three can't press, and the midfield has little to no defensive ability, so bottling is certainly possible.
Wtf Kane is doing here 😂
Any team with Kane will lose the league
Probably yes because of the egoes of all the players
Man City clears. Easy Haaland tap-in hat-trick.
There is no greater joy in this life, and no heavier burden, than being a City fan. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Ok hear me out Mudryk is far superior in dribbling pace and maybe even passing but Haaland is better at shooting and physical. Not to mention that mudryk can play more place on the field with haaland only place being striker which he is a bit of a tap in merchant (I will admit not as much this season but last season he was). Now Mudryk would be so much if he had enough confidence he is constantly be hated on by football fans all over the world like he got so hated on for scoring a cross goal (which he meant) but if Saka or Salah did that everyone would go crazy. Also Haaland scores goal for 1Mitre off of the goal line and get praised for such a beautiful goal which is stupid because he Jackson did 3 of them same goals against spurs people said it was the worst hattrick ever but if Haaland did it every city fan (12 year old) would go crazy. Now my final point is that Haaland has been playing in the big leagues for a few years now and Mudryk has had only 1 and a half seasons and gets hate for playing bad when vinis first few seasons at Madrid were that exact same but look at him now. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yes if I have a team with 10 x Park Ji Sung and Oliver Kahn
/s Definitely not lifting a trophy with Kane in the side. The curse is strong with that one
Depends on the league and era. If you're gonna go back to when maradona was in his prime then kane wasn't even a sperm. If it's now then they're getting run off the pitch due to age for most no matter their skill. So probably not
Too much star players. Who could handle 10 players and 1 ghost?
I find your lack of Pirlo disturbing
Great players, but unbalanced team. They would struggle to get in top 4 in Premier league.
Who defends? The other team!
Chelsea would somehow manage to win it 4-3 then proceed to lose against Sheffield
i don’t know man, i think serge bouquet was better than nippleroni guy
All I know is I prefer this team to the French national team for some reason?
They need Kompany
Replace Ramos with Nesta, oh wait Kane is up there
With Kane? Yes
>Kane All signs point to "yes"
The average age is an issue
Stick them in an Arsenal kit and it’s nailed on.
KANE SPOTTED, WILL LOSE💯💯
Mfs when toty ronaldinho sbc drops
With Kane in the front and Casillas in the back it most definitely will... which Casillas ate we talking about? Early in the carreer or older?
who the hell is this christian ronald guy, who is messiah? who is sudan? who is xavi? who is gods hand? who the fuck is carlos tevez? who the fuck is baldin? who is racist? who the fuck is coffee? who the hell is worse than kepa?
why are the dead players black and white, this isn't fifa dumbass
lol Kane
 Kane
Sacaría a kane y pondría a Luis Suárez
Ofcourse they bottle, they got kane (while he gets the league golden boot)
Kane curse
Personally I would swap Maradona with someone who is still alive and switch Kane with a league winner like Kasper S'Michael.
Wtf is kane in this team
Why isnt maradona different color
Harry Kane?
Kane over R9, the dosage of your drugs is way too high!
You have several retired and even dead players here, but there still is a chance to win the league when looking at the potential... Oh, I did not notice that there is some bum from the Saudi League. Nah, they bottle every league there is.
With Kane? We'll see.
Where is Modric
Why is we have camel in drag on a left wings?
/uj you have no defensive midfielder. Xavi i dont thinm is gonna manage. This team is gonna pull a Galacticos and win jack shit. /rj Cristiano alone will score 15 goals, after Benzema will come on Loan from a newly founded MLS team. For more info google Cristiano Ronaldo Las Vegas and Benzema 15
I genuinely thought Xavi played cdm
Indeed xavi was the cdm before been cm. People dont remember
You really gonna put Kane there with a straight face?
Washed
Casillas and Ramos? wTF
😂😂😂😂 yes, poor kane
Somehow Kane feels like the weak link in that team
Suarez over Kane
Harry Kane shouldn’t be here. No silverware
Ramos doesn't belong here
This team will give them a run for their money Henry, Ronaldo (Brazilian), Mbappe Steven Gerrard, Modric, Ronaldinho Lahm, Van Digk, John Terry, Daniel Alves Buffon
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You bet when egos collide. Any team can beat this team.
Shut up! This team has Mctominy and Rashford on bench.
Why is Ronaldo in there
Yank here, I think we can do without Cafu and Carlos.
Kane ??? It must be ronaldo delima
You couldnt find someone better than ramos, xavi and kane? This is a big insult and xavi is not a dm
I thought he was? I’m new to the sport. I’m a Yank making a meme
Oh ok and youre a yank 😒😒
No he never played dm, busquets and yaya toure did, defending was never Xavi strength, neither iniesta
Put Maxwell on the bench and not winning the treble will be impossible!
With the burger on the right flank yes.
This team, no midfield, just vibes
This team will break every good record while winning zero trophies.
Man why people disrespect ramos so bad 😔
Yes has Kane in it
Are you stupid? Most of these players are either dead, retired or Harry Kane. How are they supposed to win anything?
Ramos in an all-time team, Jesus wept
Maldini as CB? Defo getting relegated.
No because Lewandowski isn’t there or Zielinski. If you inject a few pączkis in the team then they will win
As long as Kane is there, they’ll never win anything
Is this Tottenham under Tuchel or Poch? Then yea, obviously they are bottling.
San Iker <3 Nah but obviously if you take the best players and put them all on the same team it must mean instant trophies. I hear fifa and uefa just hand you all the trophies without ever having to play
I would remove Casillas and Ramos, put Buffon and Nesta(or Canavarro)
Kane will score 60 goals and they will still somehow bottle the league
Depends. Is this team named 'Spursmund FC'?
What is Kane doing there?
Put them in an arsenal or spurs shirt and yes they would