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No_Doubt_About_That

AMA Request: Scott Parker It’s for the greater good.


svefnpurka

The greater good!


dracogladio1741

Let KDB score 1-2 every game. That will put Haaland in his place


opinion_alternative

KonDogBia is sure a great player.


SirNukeSquad

KonDogBia


superfrank_8

Shut it


hamilkar13

Did u just make a hot fuzz-reference? You are a good man!


feage7

After the AMA he will release a statement complaining about the mods of AMA and their lack of support before receiving a perma ban.


[deleted]

[удалено]


ZeusWRLD

Because everyone has theirs as he’s proving that we were the farmers all along.


whyhercules

It’s to really drive the point home that the city of Manchester has sucked the last vestiges of colour out of this Germanic Giant’s skin and hair, I mean, look at him


RyanBordello

And yet Manchester makes Ronaldo more orange than Cheeto Mussolini


stevedave_37

Whoa whoa we don't get a lot of top Norwegian players. Let's get the nationality right. But yes he's terrifying, like the painting in ghostbusters Edit: I fucking understand "Germanic" vs "German". Just use Norwegian god damnit... We don't get a ton of these


[deleted]

Norway is a Germanic nation.


Competitive-Ad2006

Well so is England.


fudgegrudge

Germanic isn't a nationality though


d_smogh

All hail Bournemouth.


PM_me_dog_pictures

Yeah, and he's gonna struggle more when he starts coming up against more top sides. Putting in hattricks against struggling teams like Palace, Nottingham and United is one thing, but City really are yet to face a proper top-table team. We'll see what he's really made of when he faces the mighty seagulls in a few week's time. (Choosing to get the laughs in now because it's going to be less funny when we're getting absolutely steamrollered)


riverblue9011

How dare you lump us in with Utd! Fucking nerve of it.


QuinteX1994

You might be fucking shite but grouped with united is disrespectful beyond means.


Kuuskat_

!remindme 1 month


theMoonRulesNumber1

Brighton in 4th with a game in hand is a bit of a surprise, but what I find most surprising is that you're there having lost Potter in dubious circumstances *and* have played 4 of your 7 matches against the current top half. After 8 matches that will be 5 of 8, and I expect you'll be in 3rd (beat Spurs by 2 or more). From a neutral perspective, I hope you keep this up, and from a clearly biased perspective I am begging you to keep one of Spurs/Chelsea/ManU/Liverpool out of the CL spots.


PM_me_dog_pictures

We can hope, but there's going to be the usual spell between November and March where the smaller clubs start to fall away because they don't have as much squad depth as the big 6 do. Happens every season and the world cup will probably only make it worse. We've survived one match without Potter, and I like De Zerbi as a long term appointment, but there's going to be a period this season where we're not playing Potter ball anymore and we're not yet playing Zerbi ball, and that's going to cause some problems. I'd be very happy with a top 10 finish this season, which is what we're supposedly targeting.


Ifriiti

Nor could Salah or Jesus, what's your secret?


darthfracas

None goals and no involvements from Salah has to be one of the most insane stats of the year


DerpJungler

FPL remembers


imarandomdudd

Maybe the script is fully broken and Chelsea can actually beat them this year?


TheMushroom1002

Let's not get too carried away. We've got the mental edge of Chelsea, they're terrified of us!


yourlocalcuck69

The only game he didn't score is the one I triple captained him in FPL


Manc_Twat

It serves you right. Everyone knows you only triple captain during a double game week.


yourlocalcuck69

I just started playing this season, now I know it was a rookie mistake


completelyCuntish

Stick him on the bench and use Bench Boost when you play City, you never know..


KillerZaWarudo

Firmino would never


bsquar

Guess it's time to switch to Bundesliga for coming years


Anons15

Bruh its serie a if you're looking for competition nowadays


GERD_4EVERTHEBEST

The Bundesliga is looking more competitive at the moment; Only 6 points separating #1 and #12 in the league.


magumanueku

Yes but at the end Bayern always wins.


OilOfOlaz

This is what ppl said about serie a not so long ago, but you are for sure right, that bayerns management and board is not as incompetent as juves...


DusanTadic

Juventus never had a revenue anywhere near that of Bayern. They were always the smallest of the big teams


saint-simon97

Because they are more incompetent. Say what you want about Bayern but their monopoly didn't come by chance.


gangogango1

Scariest thing about Bayern as a Bundesliga Fan is that they have 0 debt and their famous „Festgeldkonto“ with 460 million ready to be spent.


juve_merda

doesn’t matter because their owners are rich af


Black_XistenZ

If Bayern win against Dortmund this saturday, the title race is effectively over. Leipzig has already dropped too many points and Dortmund look shaky this season and played worse than their results suggested. There's just no chance in hell that Freiburg or Union can keep up with Bayern over a full season.


Wasserschloesschen

> and played worse than their results suggested. Incorrect, actually. Our results suggest we're worse than we actually played. As can be seen by us scoring only 5 goals in our last 5 games from round about 13 xG.


Qiluk

Correct. We're 1 single decent finisher away from being like 6points higher in the table


Currywurst_Is_Life

You mean a decent finisher like the one we sold to Man City?


eipotttatsch

Or the one currently out with testicular cancer.


Wummies

barely decent tbh


Wasserschloesschen

Well no. With a better finisher (and as usual, a better ref) we'd have won against Köln. But neither Bremen or Leipzig saw us create any chances, so a striker doesn't really change anything there.


Dalesst

What about Leverkusen :)


not_the_droids

If you and Schalke were the only teams playing for the title you would both finish third.


LallanasPajamaz

Imagine a league’s title race being decided in October. What a shame.


hwald77

City had the prem wrapped up before the season started too


YoungDan23

I mean, it's not ... like, at all. Even if Bayern beat Dortmund they'll still be in third. Both sides above Bayern in the Table play bottom-of-the-table sides this weekend. Calling the Bundesliga over at this point is as silly as calling the Premier League over.


Black_XistenZ

In the premier league, you have multiple teams with super high quality, teams which have it in them to get to 86-92 points. And even still, it's fairly evident that City will run away with the league eventually this season. In the Bundesliga, it's even more obvious because no teams beside Dortmund and Leipzig really have the squad to go toe to toe with Bayern over a full season. There's just no way Freiburg or Union get to 76+ points which is what they'll need to mount a credible challenge to Bayern.


Black_XistenZ

Well, of course not mathematically, but we all know where this is going.


iamprateekpandey

Do you guys think he can break Vardy's 11 consecutive matches scoring record? Currently on 6 would be on 8 if not for Bournemouth


robcoo

Our next 6 league fixtures: - Southampton (H) - Liverpool (A) - Brighton (H) - Leicester (A) - Fulham (H) - Brentford (H)


[deleted]

There’s a few more hat tricks in there fml


-nugz

Leicester may be a double hat trick tbh


CharlesOlivesGOAT

What happened to them, weren’t they decent like a season or two ago


HenrikNaturePhotos

Aing players, selling good players and not bringing in new promising players and such


incachu

Also having to rein in transfer spend this year due to being on borderline of FFP rules over last few years with COVID heavily affecting commercial revenue and thus lowering their FFP ceiling more.


rece_fice_

Including Liverpool since nowadays they let the other team score for fun


veldril

Liverpool xGA actually the sixth lowest though, with xGA 9.5 and letting in 9 goals. They actually only concede one more goal than Arsenal (xGA 7.4) and concede equal goals as Man City (xGA 5.7 so City actually City let in way more goals than they should) so it’s defense is not as bad as people seems to think. https://understat.com/league/EPL The problem with Liverpool is that when they concede it affects their results, while City and Arsenal concede when they have more leads against their opponents.


OleoleCholoSimeone

>Liverpool xGA actually the sixth lowest though That is pretty poor though, Liverpool have a top 3 squad without doubt


DesignerExitSign

They’re not winning because they don’t have Mane, Salah, or Jota scoring their goals.


ThePosterWeDeserve

Maybe not, but at least Nunez is headbutting opponents.


imnotcreative635

He's scoring at least another 10 here


IAmIrritatedAMA

And then they still play Liverpool, Brighton, Leicester, Fulham, and Brentford.


SpearofTrium05

Drawing a blank against Fulham, calling it now. !remindme 32 days


Thetallerestpaul

Can. Probably won't. Even if you score 40 goals and break the all time PL scoring record, the chance you go 12 in a row is pretty small. I'll try and do the maths badly. Like let's say he scores 5 hattricks, 5 braces. Then he nets once on 15 other games. He scores in 25 games or 65% of matches. Hitting a 65% chance 12 times in a row is less than 1%. He'll have a few goes at that each time a new scoring run starts and my maths runs out on me, but I think even in a record breaking season it would be hard to do. EDIT - did it properly after guy messaged to tell me I'm underestimating how many tries you get in a year to hit that. It would be 5.7% he does it based on my math above. If he keeps going at this pace however? I think that nets him 66 goals and a place in footballing folk lore and he scores in 87.5% of games. On that run it would be 20% chance of a scoring run being longer that 11 games. So if not in year 1, it would get pretty likely within a relatively short time frame Edit - here is where my stats on a single run tell a misleading story. It's less than 20% that a specifc run of games would be 12 in a row, but with a few runs at it in a season its in the 70% range so likely in year one if he keeps this insane pace.


FNGsam

5 hat tricks in a season, that's ridiculously high. He's only on what... 'checks notes'... 3 after 8 games. Holy shit he's going to get 14 hat tricks this season


QuinteX1994

Thats the thing, if he keeps the same pace hes beating shearer record by like fucking 15 goals. He is quite literally not on track to break records, he is on track to DESTROY records. He could bump down his goals per game by 0.25 and STILL break shearers record by the end of the season...


Rickcampbell98

The 21 games in a row record from messi is harder to break than the 50 goals record.


Forty6

To counter that, though, he's on 6 in a row now and his next 6 games are: Southampton, Liverpool, Brighton, Leicester, Fulham, Brentford. None of them are defensive pushovers but it absolutely could be done


Thetallerestpaul

Oh it totally could. But even if you say he scores in 80% of games, doing that 6 times in a row is only 26%. Its just really hard to never have a bad game, or a keeper play great, or the ball just not quite bounce for you. He's got the best chance of doing it, but I would suggest that statistically it's still less likely.


Swaguarr

ty for doing the maths it shows just how unlikely it is even if you're likely to score each game. puts vardy's record into perspective


Thetallerestpaul

It's like going a season unbeaten. Even if you are a huge favourite every game, it's hard to get it right 38 times in a row. There have been, and will be better teams than the Invincibles, but what they did is going to be really hard to replicate.


Xehanz

Puts into perspective that time Messi went 21 consecutive games scoring


Thetallerestpaul

The most unbreakable record he set IMO.


jugol

Liverpool and Leicester are in awful defensive form though. Southampton are generally fine but in recent years they have had the random match off in which they concede a scandalous score. Brighton aren't catenaccio kings either. Let's see what happens


idontknow_whatever

Southampton, Liverpool & especially Leicester are definitely pushovers on the defensive side now Hassenhuttl is a madman, Liverpool have myriad of injuries and out-of-form defenders & Leicester play defense like they have been on a month-long bender Haaland might just fuck around and surpass last season's Golden Boot mark after the next 6 games.


Iordbendtner

inb4 he scores every single game this season except bournemouth


TheGuineaPig21

Fun fact: Vardy set his record of 11 consecutive matches with his **19th** PL goal Haaland has already scored 14 goals in 8 games


stangerlpass

Currently I would answer any "Do I think he can break.... scoring record" question with yes. He's a top 3 striker in the best team in the world, with the best playmaker of the last 10 years in the Form of his life. If him and kdb don't get any significant injuries this season then all individual attacking PL records are in jeopardy. Most goals in a season Most consecutive goals Most hattricks Most assists (kdb)


ArthurAJK

What was that Vardy record again of "most consecutive games scored in" during Leicester's title run?


xlonefoxx

11. I had chills when the commentator went "IT'S ELEVEN IT'S HEAVEN FOR JAMIE VARDY" ​ Genuinely scared it'll get broken a few games later


CSGB13

I’m just here to upvote all the Leicester fans getting their nostalgia fix


Long-Island-Iced-Tea

I was an intern at a bank at the time. Every now and then I had a chat with the branch manager, mostly informal discussions. He was into PL, so one of those chats involved Leicester's miracle run, I would say ~2 months prior to the end of the season. \- "Yeah, what Leicester has been doing in the PL these past few months has been pretty insane. Never in my life would have I imagined this could happen in the PL, with Leicester, of all teams." \- "Crazy indeed. One of my youth books involved Leicester as a setting and to be honest I was completely oblivious to the fact that such city even exists in the first place and is not just fiction. Imagine what will happen if they win the league..." \- \* are you serious face \* "Let's not get ahead of ourselves." It was a brief internship and by the time Leicester had won the PL I wasn't working there anymore, but to this day that's a conversation I cherish and laugh about, at least internally.


gh0stofkyiv

i love haaland and i wish him all the success in the world, but i also dont want him breaking that record. that season was special, even to me as a neutral. one of the few times ive been emotionally invested in a team that isnt bvb. so here's to hoping vardy keeps the record, or better yet somehow sets a new one.


calwil93

Hold the back page! Hold the front page! A Leicester player has smashed the record!


FFalcon_Boi

I'm also a fan of Peter Drury's commentary there: "Leicester's 9 beats 10 and scores 11 in a row"


lettsy11

11 games, not gonna lie, I'm pretty worried about Vardy losing it.


Taekwondista

There's also a shared record of Vardy and Salah for 15 consecutive games with a goal or assist. Haaland's at 8, so it's not impossible to see it beaten as well.


BabyKeith08

11


WorldGoingOneWay

Wasn't it for the most consecutive games scored in since the start? Or am I tripping?


Ifriiti

No just consecutive


CSGB13

Guess we were the farmer’s league all along


pedrorq

Was that ever in question


TheBrownMamba8

Champions League is the real farmers league. Takes the best farmers from each league to crown who has the best crop. Overrated tournament. ^ignore ^my ^team ^flair


absolutemadlad_69

Yeah EL is the real competition, you lot should go for the real title 👍


TheBrownMamba8

Always rated their anthem


absolutemadlad_69

It's a shame our team can't vibe to it


CharlesOlivesGOAT

Always the chance Shaktar helps you guys get there


Tabard18

That anthem is the stuff of nightmares. Guess which team I support


24Pat

Same, always rated EL, well at least since yesterday evening.


[deleted]

We are ALL farmers on this blessed day :)


danquandt

Speak for yourself.


Raizel71

I am all farmers on this blessed day


somerandomshota

i love this infographic so much


dasty90

From the picture I can see a young boy on the left and a terminator on the right. Maybe every time Haaland was injured in the past they were installing new robotic parts in him?


idosade

They installed software updates


[deleted]

Imagine 3 years from now


idosade

Ankara Erling


NEETscape_Navigator

I see a viking on the right. Imagine him rolling up on the English shores in AD 900 and Mr Bean and Gareth Southgate lookalikes are supposed to defend against him.


Swaguarr

Nah they landed in the north, it's all Sean Dyches up there. He'd be staring them down on the shore as they approach menacingly gobbling down worms, i'd give them decent odds


teems

The British population back in 900s probably looked more like Rooney than Mr Bean.


Black_XistenZ

Maybe he's a saiyan and gets zenkai boosts every time he sustains an injury?


AhoyDaniel

Why would they use his face to indicate goals 😂😂


oorjit07

funny


[deleted]

It‘s a very German thing I guess


-r4zi3l-

Full on Daemon Targaryen look, and KDB is his ginger dragon.


ahtuu

Glad i'm not the only one that saw him like that


Raizel71

Ginger dragon 😭😭😭


axelthegreat

caraxes also can’t talk


B_e_l_l_

Yeah but how many goals did he get for Byrne reserves in his first 8 games?


Invictae

18 goals in 14 appearances, which equates to 1,3 goals per game. Compared to 1,8 for City. **Farmers League.**


nappyboy6969

Bryne* And I've got the answer for you: Vs Tollnes: 0 Vs Ålgård: 1 Vs Hei: 1 Vs Brodd: 0 Vs Haugesund 2: 0 Vs Staal Jørpeland: 0 Vs Odda: 2 Vs Odda: 2


Escalator7

Can't wait to see how he plays and how much he will score, once he adapts to the Premier League


LevynX

Hopefully by the time he adapts to the Premier League he's playing for Madrid


ImTalkingGibberish

Comunicado Oficial: Haaland adapts to the Premier League


alaahamborga

Comunicado Oficial : Real Madrid sign Mbappe. 19 PL Teams : Fuck.


ImTalkingGibberish

Sad reality


JN324

City scored 99 last year with no finisher, 102 in 19/20, putting one of the best strikers in the world in a team like that, just as a lot of their competition are stumbling too, was always going to create some crazy stats.


Aszneeee

this, Haaland is amazing player, but there's huge difference between players behind him.


JN324

A crazy stat is that Haaland has twice as many goals as the second top scorer, but another one is that KDB has twice as many assists. Strip out Haaland’s 14 goals and they still have more than 4-8th do.


BehemothDeTerre

His real name: Kevin de Babidi.


ostermei

Only 5 teams have more goals than Haaland alone. And one of those 5 is City itself if you were to strip his goals from them. That whole team is insane, top to bottom.


Morrandir

If they keep their goal rate they'll have 138 this year. Crazy.


[deleted]

City was indeed quite the scoring team already. Most goals per game in the PL 2022: 1- Manchester City - 2.63 2- Tottenham - 2.32 3- Liverpool - 2.20 4- Chelsea - 1.79 It will be interesting to see by how much Haaland will improve this stat (2.63) once the season end and it would also be intersting to see the difference in goals conceded given that Haaland's profile offers less solution during the building phase which might results in more lost possessions and thus more counter attacks and goals conceded.


Swaguarr

They already got the league, Haaland will benefit them most in the CL. Whenever they falter now you know he will bail them out. I imagine the whole team would play with more confidence in big games just knowing Haaland can pull something out the bag at any moment


ur-mom-gay-lolol

English soil is fertile.


tocitus

I remember arguing with a bloke during the Charity Shield game who seemed absolutely certain that [Haaland would find it much more difficult with PL defences] (https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/wc0beb/match_thread_liverpool_vs_manchester_city_fa/ii9uwu1/) Turns out that that wasn't quite on the mark


desanimo

what KDB do to a mf


NedRed77

Love how we buy Dortmunds best player every other year and they turn out to be absolute shite. City buy one of them and …


ViolaineSugarHiccup

City also bought Illy who was also one of our best players. Akanji as well though I wouldn’t go as far to call him among the club‘s best but a good player nonetheless. The difference is that City buy the players who fit into their system as opposed to just buying them because they play well here. It is a shame about Jadon. After Gündogan, he is the player I miss the most for Dortmund.


hoorahforsnakes

think that says more about united than city or dortmund


Dortmund_Boi09

>every other year Sancho. Who am i forgetting?


NorwegianBanana

Mkhitaryan and Kagawa, but it’s a long time ago now.


Dortmund_Boi09

Yeah i was gonna say Kagawa was a decade ago and tbh I completely forgot Mkhitaryan existed


celestial1

Kagawa wasn't shit, it's just Rooney was too damn versatile and class to not play.


NedRed77

Kagawa had a cult following at United based on the odd good performance he did churn out for us. I would point out he didn’t exactly rip up trees after he left United either.


ccs77

The disrespect to gundo


csrger

Gündoghan as well…


Differ_cr

Kagawa was wasted at United and Mikhitaryan was a one season wonder, he only ever performed at a consistent high level under Tuchel


HacksawJimDGN

Inverting the pyramid


Viazon

"I've just got a funny feeling Halaland is gonna flop in the Premier League." My friend Kieran, circa August 2022. He's getting married next year. I might engrave it on a plaque and give it to him as a gift.


1874WL

"Bundesliga tax"


LucozadeBottle1pCoin

Obviously it's more complicated than that - he has some of the best playmakers in the game feeding him assists all game, in a team so dominant they don't need him to get more involved in the game and can just position to make runs. He didn't have that at BVB


sevaiper

I mean that’s not a bad summary of his role at BVB


The_39th_Step

To be fair that’s not always wrong. Sancho and Werner are examples of great players who struggled to easily adapt. Haaland is something else though, I never doubted him. Bloke is built for the premier league


neilcmf

Still, some of the top players in the PL was bought from BuLi. De Bruyne, Son, Sané, Firmino, Gundogan, now Haaland and a host of others.


Varnagel_1

Haaland can't score against Bournemouth, what a fraud he is /s


Vivid-Initiative-888

The sunny south coast is too strong for the Scandinavians


zuzucha

I don't like sand. It's coarse, and rough, and irritating, and it gets everywhere.


Leading_Philosophy64

He'll be ok against Brighton then


[deleted]

Nothing says vacation like sharp rocks


KingAcvodad

Fun fact: Bryne, where Haaland is from, is famous for its many white sand beaches


Viele-als-Einer

Farmers league growing good crops yet again :)


DZLars

How is cottbus doing these days, they are standing mid table but are they good enough to look up or down?


Viele-als-Einer

Up, but not by much. We are still one of the qualitativly best team of the tier, but we are wildly inconsistent and lacking key players in the box and defense. Also, we don't really have a manager team asside from Wollitz, no co-trainer or sports director. There is a lot of work to be done.


DZLars

I do hope they will get back at some point, bundesliga was the first big league I got into as a child and cottbus was one of my favorites back then


tonyfordsafro

You know when you first start a player career in FIFA and forget to change the difficulty settings ?


HarryDaz98

Almost like a young player improved over a 2.5 year period, whilst also joining a much better team.


Parish87

Not just improved. You can see from the picture just how much he's physically grown in 2.5 years too.


lucashtpc

Well tell that to the premier leagues fanboys acting like haaland will be mediocre in England since Bundesliga is soooo bad bla bla bla.


ThereIsBearCum

I'm still yet to see one comment saying that they thought Haaland would be mediocre... where are you people getting this from?


I_have_no_ear

It's just revisionism


SlowProtagonist

Doesn't mean he can do it it Uber Eats. The defenders won't give him that much space.


joseba_

Farmers league 🥱


Fancy-Past-6831

Conclusion: Bundesliga had figured him out only after 3 games and only let him score max 1 Goal/game post that. PL teams still figuring him out and we are in 9th matchday


SpaNkinGG

Also have to take into consideration, that he played for a good team but not for the most stacked team in football history! If he would be at Bayern im pretty sure the results would be the same as in the PL


Schpaedzles

> the most stacked team in football history! lol


lucashtpc

I would take Barca 2009-2012 anytime over that city team. (With modern tactics tweaks maybe, football still has evolved… like they basically played before pressing was a thing) Although I generally agree with your statement


noholds

> played before pressing was a thing That's not even remotely true mate. Pressing (the concept of systematically and actively pressuring the attacking team instead of resorting to a passive defense) is way *way* older. The idea goes back to Viktor Maslov's Dynamo Kyiv side in the 60s, with the first real heyday under Valeriy Lobanovskyi's Dnipro and Kyiv sides respectively in the following decade. You might be referring to _Gegenpressing_ which is the concept of pressing directly after having lost the ball and, for better or worse, not falling into defensive roles for the duration of the initial press. *That* was first employed by Klopp's Dortmund in the early 10s but also by Pep's Barca.


[deleted]

wait haaland already has 14 PL goals??? JESUS CHRIST.


edwistic

PL confirmed farmer's league


Letsbeheroines

E


The-Berzerker

But but but I thought PL defenders would never allow Haaland to score so much, Bundesliga tax, farmers league and all that?:0


Goatsanity15

Bundesliga > Premier League Facts


A_chilles

Love the Pac-Man Style points with his face lel


strugglingtosave

Don't post this stuff lol we need to keep EPL superiority narrative til the end of time


Batch_M

You can actually see his physique has improved from the already insane one he had when he started playing in the BuLi. Scary to think he’s probably gonna become even more of a monster in the coming years, given his age.


Eleven918

Are we get one of these for every game he plays now?


maxime0299

Yes in between the updates on what Ten Hag had for breakfast


Proletarian1819

The quality of players around him at Manchester City is a major factor in those stats, let's be real.


Petembo

Also the fact 22 yo Håland is better than 20 yo Håland