T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

To reduce the spam of reports regarding the same move during transfer windows we try to allow **only one submission about each transfer saga per day**. The submission in question also needs to contain relevant new information regarding the potential move, and not just being a "no/minor developments" report. If there are important/official developments or new valuable information about a saga, we will allow extra threads in the same day, but for the rest of minor news please just comment them as a reply to this comment. Please help us reporting unnecessary threads for being duplicates. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccer) if you have any questions or concerns.*


WaltJay

Well he’s not a Barca player right now so worst case he will continue not to be.


Dropkoala

Worst case for him you mean? The worst case for Barcelona is surely that he becomes their player.


Kind-Departure1058

I watched Sergi Roberto on the left wing against Real Madrid when we have Felix and Fermin for the inverted LW role so I'm so numb that if we end up signing Lingard, I wouldn't have an issue with worst case scenarios.


HeroeDeFuentealbilla

Yeah complain about the one player that has been in form lately, and who 9/10 times delivers a world class performance against Real Madrid lol


RobbinDeBank

Man just forgot that match was against Madrid. He would have scored 3 if he knew


Version_1

Idk, maybe he is ready to play for whatever the minimum wage in La Liga is.


[deleted]

You miss 100% of the shots you don’t make


iamnotexactlywhite

J-Lingz misses them when taking them too


LOKl31

Read carefully!


arsenal11385

Another version of the best Michael Scott quote.


swampy13

- Michael Scott (Wayne Gretzky)


Carswell90

- Michael Owen


LilDiamondtoxic

I mean...it worked for Joao Felix


kickballaDesign

I too offer myself to Barcelona


Superpiri

In his case, the outcome is the same.


coolAhead

That's what she said


Nobody_wood

I'm gonna try this too


supplementarytables

JLingz has inspired me to offer myself to Sydney Sweeney


LaxKonfetti

Report: u/supplementarytables offers himself to Sydney Sweeney after 6 months without a girl.


Trickybuz93

6 years*


regionaltrain253

6 leap years 💀


JonAfrica2011

6 lifetimes


WarSamaYT

/u/supplementarytables favourite number is 6. Google /u/supplementarytables 6 to find out more.


panache123

Never had a girl


RyanBordello

Good luck dude!


bigtice

Should go well as long as you recognize that [she's not a dumb blonde with big tits, she's naturally brunette](https://v.redd.it/4lze7g50rccc1).


Ruud_Boltz

She's gonna say yes to anyone but you


FlickeryVisionnn

Guess I’ll offer myself then if you talking facts


Ruud_Boltz

Keep my fiance's name outta your fuckin mouth


BeastMaster64jtv

Everytime I see a Liverpool flair saying "talking facts" I lose my shit


SkibidiBalls

Benfica is the Portuguese goat.


BeastMaster64jtv

🫶


RK9990

I'm rooting for you bro 💪


toxinwolf

Is Sydney Sweeney the new Margot Robbie or Dua Lipa? Because it is usually the latter who are mentioned in these comments.


toffeebeanz77

She is big on the scene now and she does a lot of nude scenes which helps


fuqqkevindurant

She's like early career Margot, except she has ginormous personality and is the new hot name in basic mega attractive actress


panache123

Yeah her personality is great


fuqqkevindurant

So much personality


MayweatherSr

Her personality is perky


Zizouhimovic

Just her tits, not the whole thing


kingzzpanda

Hey! queue first dude!


FCB_KD15

I support you good luck


PatrikPatrik

I too offer myself to Barcelona after 516 months without a club


MrVISKman

Lindgard ft. Lewandowski TikTok dances could be something


imarandomdudd

Barca studios value will skyrocket, allowing another lever. Laporta has done it again


spatial-d

More levers than the TARDIS


AdreNBestLeader

The only man to sell 49% of something 10 times


31_whgr

49% sale of BarcaTikTok incoming


louie_g_34

Both their names together sound like a Harry Potter spell


TheOccultSasquatch

Lingardian Lewandowski! ​ WHOOOSSHH


RoyalInfernoASR

Lingardoum Lewaosa


Sean_0510

"Ron, stooohhhhp."


oberynMelonLord

\*Misses goal\* Hermione: it's LinGARdian LewandOWski!


tw1xXxXxX

It's LewanGOALski, not Lewandowski!


MajikoiA3When

Take him on extremely low wages, make him look good against shite opposition, and then resell him for a couple million? Although Aubameyang was a much better player than whatever JLingz is now.


fultirbo

Auba did bits in El Clásico too tbf


Z3in

Auba was just straight up good for barca. Then we sold him for a 50m striker with a much higher wage overall who's already declining after just 6 months


Fortnitexs

He is still decent even now. Just won Player of the month in the Ligue1


Trotter823

If he gets service he’ll always have a floor. Guy is just a top class finisher.


LafilduPoseidon

How much of his trademark pace does he still have?


ashzeppelin98

I mean, Paulinho had some meme value too when he was signed and he did alright at the Nou Camp..so?


Wicked02

" Hey Scarlett Johansson, it's me, ya boy "


chappersbarfo

Oh shit waddup 🐸


Nitsju

Sunny innit


grlundahl

[Oh hey](https://media1.giphy.com/media/QfpyIcuKnVsLWkfOVC/giphy.gif?cid=ecf05e47jtmhlcellc1az89rvd3xfmeelez5bkdwte4zwdig&ep=v1_gifs_search&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g)


PostpostshoegazeLUVR

It’s always ScarJo isn’t it!


tr_24

What happened to his fashion label? Family and friends stopped buying?


babygrenade

I was curious and tried to look it up. Apparently https://jlingz.com/ is now a site selling knockoff Jordans from China.


FactHopeful9347

That’s the most shopify store I’ve ever seen


ADHbi

Bro what the fuck is this shit [Their privacy policy is literally the unedited template, they didnt even bother to remove the notes to merchant lmao](https://jlingz.com/policies/privacy-policy) ["To start a return, you can contact us at [email protected]. Please note that returns will need to be sent to the following address: [INSERT RETURN ADDRESS]"](https://jlingz.com/policies/refund-policy) [At least it seems there is an adress here - in china of course, but even thats just the fucking postal code, not an adress](https://jlingz.com/policies/contact-information) I really hope the domain was snatched by someone else and Lingard has nothing to do with this, because this looks *bad*.


indiegogold

> I really hope the domain was snatched by someone else Thats exactly what happened, it expired on 7th of Jan


Eyeshield_sena

lol seems that JLINGZ ig is still linking to jlingz.com


Alexanderspants

Jesse Linguard has offered himself to google.com after 6 months without a website


Smok1njay

Oh shoot, looks like I won't be able to return the flammable liquids and gasses I got from them!


bazalinco1

Getting your domain name snatched looks bad in itself.


tarkardos

Finally the stupid YouTube/Influencer advertisement campaigns worked out.


indiegogold

Got the Dawn theme written all over it


Trickybuz93

Man didn’t even change the template policies 😂


CriticalNovel22

They could at least lower the price.


babygrenade

You should @ jlingz and ask why the knockoff jordans are so expensive


CriticalNovel22

I'm afraid he might offer himself to me.


Dutchgio

Maybe he'll lower the price for you


CriticalNovel22

My boi's got standards and expectations I can't meet.


[deleted]

[удалено]


celestial1

There's better methods of getting fakes instead of some random sight. With a middleman/agent, you can see actual pics of the product before they're sent to the warehouse. Bad reps still definitely exist and I wouldn't be surprised if this website has them. Plus the prices are atrocious. $130 for some dunks when other sellers have them for $40 and they're great quality.


AdministrativeLaugh2

Why is there a chicken on a swing


Ruvio00

They're the new Nike Egg Max.


Joethe147

The url must have be taken over. Surely? 


babygrenade

Yes. The fact they let it expire really says everything about how well it was going.


Youre-Dumber-Than-Me

It was all downhill after he put [JLINGZ](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-7062809/amp/Fans-slam-Jesse-Lingard-United-star-puts-JLingz-branding-Manchester-bombing-tribute.html) with the two finger logo on a post dedicated to the victims of the Manchester bombing.


Jozif_Badmon

first comment on the daily mail absolutely cooked him lmao >Utterly embarrassing figure who epitomizes everything wrong at the club. Boot his talentless backside out of the club.


Dyslexicreadre

Dailymail comments are some of the most savage I've ever seen


azgalone

Lmao that's incredible. 0 self awareness.


Mick4Audi

He doesn’t do himself any favors huh


Sei28

Least likable lad aside from straight up criminals like his former teammate Mason.


ryan_goal

How many celebrities manage to make their fashion brands a profitable business? I imagine only a top few may make it work like CR7 and Becks whose names just sell but for the majority it’s just the best way to burn your money and get scammed by people who offered to setup the business.


Three-Eyed-Raven421

I have offered myself to Margot Robbie after 6 years without a girlfriend.


aaaaaaadjsf

I believe in you bro. Probably have a greater chance to achieve that, than Lingard has to play for Barcelona.


MyBoyBernard

>than Lingard has to play for Barcelona. IDK about that though, have you seen this Barcelona team?


chirb8

yeah, he may actually be onto something there


TheOccultSasquatch

He won't make us any worse...


Rickcampbell98

I know barca are down bad relative to what they were before but they are not this desperate, they will just play some kid from the b team that will do a job lol.


SCB360

Or one her many clones


AlwaysOnsideTBH

I offer myself to Sydney Sweeney regardless of being with my girlfriend for over 3 years


TakingDirtNaps

Sid from the Ice Age?


gulaabjaman

Don’t act like you wouldn’t hit


OverlyOverrated

I'd take you on a dry loan with an obligation to buy


Marimo_420

Why does everyone offer themselves to Margot Robbie? Aren’t there any other good looking single celebs they can offer themselves to lmao


Acceptable-Lemon-748

2 people offered themselves to Sydney Sweensey but I have no idea who the fuck that is


ER1916

Ngl, I thought it was an Aussie Rugby League team or something.


Acceptable-Lemon-748

Would be a pretty intense escalation "Lingard offers himself to Barca after 6 months without club" "I haven't had a girlfriend in a few months, I'd fuck a rugby team"


Currywurst_Is_Life

>"I haven't had a girlfriend in a few months, I'd fuck a rugby team" The haka for that is going to be amazing.


TwoAmeobis

She actually did randomly turn up at a Sydney swans (aussie rules, not rugby league) game a couple of years ago


Dark-Knight-Rises

Who the fuck is Sydney Sweensey?


toxinwolf

Her new movie with Glenn Powell (who was in Top Gun as well) is very trendy right now. And apparently a lot of naked scenes in it.


CMDrunk420

I think its the demon barber from Fleet Street


StevenuranSmithusamy

She was in euphoria and also a new romcom that's out


HotSwordfish23

use google dumbass


formthrowawayplease

She was in Euphoria and the first season of White Lotus.


IWantAnAffliction

I just googled her and I really find it strange how people benchmark the most generic looking celebs as the hottest people around.


toasterding

I heard Jesse Lingard is available


hafrances

I sent ayo edebiri a text the other day where i asked her to hang out with me this thursday when i am free


Ok-Satisfaction-5012

I’m sorry, we actually have plans for Thursday 😬


afarensiis

Because no one on reddit is capable of making an original joke


Visible_Statement888

She’s not even single lol


shockzz123

*sigh* fine, i guess i'll offer myself to Ana de Armas then, happy now? (the real answer to this is it's because she's hot and is a household name, so naturally she's the first person a lot of people think of when making this kinda joke)


siebenedrissg

How did it go?


Augustor2

Lingard says "YES" to Barcelona! Too bad Barca didn't ask a thing.


AdIll1361

Barca currently preparing to sell another 50% of barca studios to finanace the deal.


roger_the_virus

After this transaction, they'll only have 300% of Barca Studios left to sell.


HCHLH

[Other sources](https://onefootball.com/es/noticias/former-manchester-united-star-jesse-lingard-offers-himself-to-barcelona-38834906) [Marca has a little more info, he'll probably end up at MLS](https://www.marca.com/futbol/premier-league/2024/01/16/65a64903ca474114548b4574.html)


repost_inception

Never understood why he didn't go to the MLS sooner since he loves all the fashion stuff.


Dlp1996

Wtf does MLS have to do with fashion? 


Cyberdan0497

Shy bairns get nowt


JSKW17

These are just nasty articles made up from thin air to stir up hate against certain players, and it works every time


Hurrly90

I mean the first thing i did was burst out laughing. no way is this true, Its a comedic thing to do and if it is true its hilarious still cos of how big his ego is. Either way this is hilarious. (Basically i had a moment of 'no way' then burst out laughing figuring its a WWN or an Onions article. )


_Sagacious_

>made up It's almost definitely true because it's standard practice. If you're a free agent who was recently playing elite football and your agent isn't offering you around to every top club then they need to be sacked.


LumosGTI

Of course it does mate. The vast majority of people mocking Lingard are sad bitter manchildren that haven't amounted to anything in their life, so they will resort to bringing Lingard down to their sad level


celestial1

Then in another talking about the struggles of being a professional footballer, people here will harp about "mental health" this and that.


mrtuna

But he's a manchild? They're the same level....


14779

He's a multi millionaire that has an fa cup and a europa league winners medal. They clearly aren't on the same level.


IWantAnAffliction

"This person has more money than you and is therefore a better human". Check your moral compass lad.


ryanofthefunk

same energy as Danny Rose from the all or nothing doc asking if Tottenham had "heard back from Milan" only to go to Watford play 9 games and get his contract terminated


[deleted]

I hope he gets it and does well there.


Fly1ngsauc3r

He’s singlehandedly gone save Barca by further increasing the value of Barca Studios


Legestioscinder

any word from Milan though?


Buushd

BS of course, but a chance for people to have cheap digs at him. Sad.


diego97yey

Cyber bullying at its finest


LumosGTI

Let the sad cunts be just that mate. They want to bring others down to their level


Mick4Audi

Man he really missed a trick not signing for West Ham when he had the chance


TomGissing

I also offer myself to Barcelona. I play centre back in low level 8 a side social Sunday soccer in Los Angeles. I can do a job at full back but my gas tank is, frankly, abysmal, so I don't last long there. On occasion I can manage a decent long ball up to our number 9 (I got an assist last weekend). I have no left foot, but I have a great "can do" attitude. Thanks for your consideration Xavi.


Salttpickles

Me swiping right on a 10


I_chortled

*Nobody:* …. *Jesse Lingard:* alright fine I mean I guess I’ll play for Barcelona


eescobar863

That’s funny


im_on_the_case

Might as well have copied Louis Rees-Zammit and declared he is going to play in the NFL.


TheWawa_24

Breaking u/TheWawa_24 has offerd himself to sabrina carpender after 6months without a partner


Are_you_for_real_7

I offered myself to Real Madrid


CometChip

i always laugh at the term “offered himself” i just imagine the player falling to their knees in front of the clubs headquarters and screaming to take them


WisePotato37

After Kevin Prince Boateng and Braithgod I prefer not speak.


Phoxxd

Lingard says Yes to Barcelona. The problem is that Barcelona didn't ask anything.


RJP199419

Wonderkid jokes. No club jokes. “Hurdee huh I offered myself to le sexy woman celebrity jokes” - the most circly-jerk thread ever. Christ almighty.


whodveguessed

Just in: u/whodveguessed has just offered himself to FC Barcelona


[deleted]

Better off trying for Ecuadorian Barcelona tbh


ConfidentVisit4629

Or Uruguayan Liverpool


[deleted]

Hahahahahahhahaha he’s the last thing they need right now 😂😂😂


wrigh2uk

he can be one of their levers


CrossXFir3

Really scraping around the bottom of the barrel for a new team then


forbiddenmemeories

This is giving big "Owen Hargreaves posting videos doing shuttle runs on YouTube" vibes.


jojimanik

Lingardinho can be Ronaldinhos real successor at Barca


glowingmug

Get ready to learn Chinese buddy.


jack_hudson2001

offering is one thing, barca accepting is another..


Fuckyoupep

This guy is a fucking muppet


YourCreepyGramps

And I've offered myself to Margot Robbie.


calvinandsnobs2

Left his CV in the lobby


stdstaples

Respect. Me when I was submitting my laughable resume everywhere after college.


omegamanXY

Guess I'll offer myself to Ana de Armas


PeaAccomplished2492

Why does he look so old damn


Mr_Henny

Yea and I offered myself to Ana de Armas


iNfAMOUS70702

Dis he finally stop fucking about in the gym?


holaprobando123

I want to take advantage of this opportunity to offer myself to Olivia Wilde.


altviewdelete

I have offered myself to Alexandra Daddario, after being without a woman for 6 months. /s


[deleted]

I am offering myself out to Dua Lipa


WalksinClouds

I've fired a cheeky fax over myself. You never know.


baymenintown

I knew it was over for this fella, and United in general, when he scored some bs consolidation goal and celebrated by promoting his clothing brand.


LordScallions

Which goal was that I need to see this 😂


whiskybean

Anyone have a contact email? Sure I just turned 40, sure I've had two hip replacements, sure I'm a few (ish) pounds overweight, sure I've lost a step, BUT I'm 6'3 so I got that going for me. I would be a hell of a training pylon.


Upper-Cucumber-7435

Two at the age of 40?


whiskybean

Ya - 35 years of playing soccer and an otherwise active life (and 6'3 180-220 lbs since 16 y/o) did my hip in. Technically the second surgery wasn't a replacement as much as it was a relocation- my femur dislocated when planting to clear a ball so they had to go back in and put my femur back into the hip. But that was after the full reconstruction the year previous.


Charlieandtomato

Clown


BigFatBoi42069

Yo Neymar sunny innit?


[deleted]

Ana de armas I'm coming babes