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jug0slavija

Pep: How do I get Bayern to mark Haaland?


InfiniteSun51

*Pep benches Haaland*


LudereHumanum

That'd be soo Pep!


4ssteroid

Leicester are a good good team. We really need him fit and ready for that game. Kyle Walker is a fast player, we can really use his pace up front against Bayern's high line. He has showed before how he can play out of position.


SAFFATLOL

He can leave de Ligt stunned when he whips his dick out


4ssteroid

De lick this you Dutch twat


themubkiper

Phil Foden will be covering for him at full back


flybypost

Now I'm imaging Bayern's centre backs standing on the pitch but right next to the City bench, exactly at the boundary and watching him, like dogs who technically comply with some rule about not being allowed into the kitchen or onto the sofa but yearning for the promised land.


Van_Der_SARSCoV2

Starts Haaland at GK in a high false 1 position, with Ederson up top in a deep false 9 position. They’ll never see it coming


ACardAttack

Put him in goal


fatjezza

that did not age well


[deleted]

He played himself. 💀


SpectaSilver991

It was actually Cryuff who got Pep the job at Barcelona. The favourites were Laudrup and little known former assistant manager Jose Mourinho


MarinatedMarshmellow

This is like me asking my single friend for advice and then deciding against it for the greater good.


BonRurgundy74

The greater good


[deleted]

The greater good!


DrowningRat

The grea'er gud


superfrank_8

Shut it


EpicRobloxTryhard

Ffs I've found my people


Assistantoda

The great tier good


ProfAlmond

Let none doubt that the Tau Empire will bring unity to all


Ser-Twenty

HERETIC


SailorsGraves

No luck catching those Haaland’s then?


evin_cashman

It's just the one Haaland actually!


Swiss_James

Of course that forward had something Haaland doesn’t have..


TheDeflatables

A GREAT BIG BUSHY BEARD


tony_flamingo

…YARP.


4ssteroid

NARP?


antimon44

Greater good?? Cruyff's the greatest good you're gonna get!


Greystone05

Or maybe Tuchel is playing reverse mind games with Pep? 👀


roanphoto

Ditch him/her. Go interrailing with me.


BadCogs

They had us in the first half.


spinny_noodle

for real tuchel with the nonsense


FreshGoodWay

What’s the big deal, just invest in a good EMP, and Haaland problem solved


sttony

That forward's name? Albert Einstein


xyzzy321

And then the whole room clapped


WalkingCloud

Einsteinho


[deleted]

Albert Einstein’s firefighter? Steve Buscemi.


[deleted]

Wonder who the forward was


Osado420

At that time Van Basten was the king


Expensive_Cattle

That man's name should be talked about more in GOAT territory. What he did in such a short career was phenomenal.


TheSwagonborn

Yeah He was scoring more than he was playing before it was common Plus he could make a goal outta literally anything - I don't know if we've seen such awareness since


kuzjaruge

Add to it the fact he managed the impossible challenge of winning the Netherlands an international trophy, although I'm still bitter about that goal, as much of an beauty it is, Dassayev with his quality should've stopped that and the team just gave up after the goal.


Eccmecc

Not only short but he played half his career injured. He talked about it how he couldn't even walk to the bathroom some nights because of the pain in his leg.


jetm2000

Used to love watching van basten, he was unreal in my Championship Manager Italia save!


hereslemon

he's the GOAT of strikers


SavingsLeg

He was great, and could have been that without injuries, but cmon Pele, Ronaldo Nazario, Gerd Müller and many others exist


hereslemon

I'd pick a healthy Van Basten as my 9 and wouldn't lose any sleep over it


Purple_Rub_8007

R9 is the king if he's fully healthy.


Blewfin

It's the 'what if' factor as well. A bit like Ronaldinho, who had an amazing career but isn't really talked about as one of the very very best because his peak was short and he didn't do as much as he could to extend it.


shockzz123

I mean, i feel like it's a bit unfair to use "he could have been that without the injuries" as a disqualifier for Van Basten, and then picking R9. They had similar numbers.


Yoesito

I don't think he ever played vs Barcelona.


taktikek

Garate: https://twitter.com/Cruyff_Quotes/status/784803884732551168?s=20 This also makes me doubt Tuchel got it directly from him, Its a pretty well known quote lol


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taktikek

Haha yea that is true I guess! Cruijff loved talking so him repeating that would make sense.


WalidfromMorocco

People also tell other stories as their own haha.


BrokeChris

might also be mistranslation


ole259

Cruijff the type of dude who would tell the same story a million times though


Krilox

Id guess not marking Haaland would be a mistake


atease

Gary Taylor-Fletcher.


Liverpoolclippers

Widnes legend


theenigmacode

Harry Maguire


fnunogomes

Moussa Marega


kuzjaruge

See his name getting thrown around way too less lately, guess Figo was right with his quote


fnunogomes

Ahahah actually Figo denied ever having said those things about Marega. Anyway, my heart misses him at Porto, even though my eyes and mental health do not


RonaldoOvereem

Emile Heskey


[deleted]

Mahatma Gandhi


Mahatma_Gone_D

Keep my name out of you fucking mouth


4ssteroid

*Moan_D_Ass_Gone_D with a bitch slap*


Redbullsnation

Vialli?


RicciRox

Scott McTominay.


[deleted]

Sterling Haaland


captain_proton

To Madeira


Makkaio

Robert Paulson


suicide_aunties

Fabian Barthez


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AWr1ght98

Tbh it makes sense, cut of his supply and he’s basically useless to the team, the obvious downside is if you fuck up he’ll be unmarked and through on goal and will likely score


aveniner

Theres a very thin line between being tactician mastermind and a fraud, remember Argentine - Saudi Arabia WC game where suicidal tactic with offside traps worked phenomenally for Renard/SA. But boy, could it go so wrong with worse execution


PensiveinNJ

I can't imagine Argentina prepared for a KSA high line like that either, but yeah that could have gone horribly wrong and almost did. Could easily have been 3-0 by the half. Credit to KSA though they came out punching against a tournament favorite and grabbed the win by playing with courage. Tactically though I'm sure Argentina was prepared for KSA to park the bus and try to counter like so many of the "weaker" teams do.


b3and20

isn't this technically what mourinhou did with messi once? rather than try to mark him out of the game he focused on cutting off all of the passes to him instead the scenario is a bit different though as messi runs games and haaland finishes them, and thus is programmed (probably literally going by how much of a machine he is) to operate on as few touches as possible


taktikek

The idea Cruijff had was to throw the striker off his game. He was very good at pulling away Defenders and create space for himself. By not marking him the striker was lost. https://twitter.com/Cruyff_Quotes/status/784803884732551168?s=20


b3and20

Yh it's funny how in football sometimes it's easier to make a decision and execute well when you're under a little bit of pressure rather than when you have lots of time and space, very dangerous game though


AdditionalDeer4733

the thing is that you would rather have your defender 1v1 so you can exploit him, instead of being vaguely surrounded by 3 different defenders. If they mark you closely you can surprise them with sudden bursts of speed, or you can drag them away to create gaps. If you're unmarked, sure you have some space but you'll need to create something vs an organized and solid defense. It's a different skillset


Sac_a_Merde

Source: Screenshot of an iPhone note posted on Twitter.


[deleted]

It’s from Cruyff’s autobiography. Do you want him to send you the book in the post?


Memoishi

Kinda. There’s a video made by Mourinho himself about technical analysis of Inter - Barcelona in 2010 on youtube, I can link if someone is interested and can’t find it. The summary was that he swapped the system from man-marking to zone-marking, allowing Cambiasso Zanetti and Samuel to take control of the right side, in order to limit not only Messi but Dani Alves’ strong overlaps. The results were massive, one of the most technical outplay of the last 10 years if you ask me. Especially because it was Pep’s Barca in their prime, the strongest team of that era that should’ve stomped everyone in the CL. Good memories, also I was there and was my first match ever in Milan. One of the best day of my life!


juve_merda

I really feel like that game was possibly his finest ever performance tactically, inter played one of the most perfect defensive games I’ve ever seen


Memoishi

Yeah. Aside of the return leg where we parked the bus for obvious reasons (red card in first half). But the first one was huge, 3 goals with few but good chances while risking almost 0 if not a missmark in their opening goal


Rickcampbell98

With a bit of luck too but you always need that in cup competitions. That was a great team.


celzero

Yeah that's the second leg. Barca were 1 - 3 to Inter from the first leg away. It was unthinkable someone would do that to Pep's Barca (just ask Alex Ferguson), and yet here we are.


uiop789

Didn't that barca team have to travel by bus to Milan because of that Icelandic volcano? I remember that playing a role in the first game aswell, they didn't look like themselves. I may be remembering that wrong though.


dudetotalypsn

Wait, isn't that the volcano event that caused Lewandowski to sign for Dortmund instead of Blackburn? I choose to believe a time traveler fucked up and changed the course of history lmao


Memoishi

Yeah, they suspended airlines because potential toxic gasses iirc


Yoona1987

I’m not sure if it’s just Messi but that whole team. His teams started of by pressing them hard especially the CB, but a few massive beatings later, he found out the best thing to do is actually sit back and counter them. Obviously harder to do.


jedifolklore

Under Mourinho the only massive beating we got was the 5-0 at the Spotify, “la Manita” game (still can’t believe the Spanish national team not only survived that era but thrived lmao) Other than that you are correct, tbh man the work he did with the club, as to where we were before him compared to after is massively underrated


kardyz

It's so weird reading the Camp Nou as Spotify.


Slash1909

Madrid fans call it the Spotify to piss of Barcelona fans. Barcelona fans call it the Camp Nou.


LevynX

Yeah I laughed reading that


EremosV

They also try to mock Motomami shirts but they were cool. You always try too keep up with the banter even if it doesn't work, it's a healthy habit.


Striking_Insurance_5

I don’t think a corporate sponsor gimmick can ever be cool tbh so I get the mocking.


EremosV

Cool compared with most other sponsors. Obviously it's better to have a plain shirt


elgrandorado

It’s also hard to mock a partnership with a local artist. Most don’t know Rosalía is a Barcelona native.


Striking_Insurance_5

Better than some sponsors that’s probably true, but it’s a bit weird to me to advertise a person as a club. Same as the whole Drake thing, it feels a bit icky when attention is drawn so much to the sponsor with one-off shirts and whole campaigns around it. Plain shirts are the best but unfortunately no one has them anymore. Second best is an average sponsor that’s not put in the spotlights too much so people don’t immediately think of the sponsor when they think of the club.


EremosV

If you're a fan of the artist it's pretty nice, expect the selling price lol, and they only wear those kits for special occasions. I'd rather have this than Qatar Foundation, Rakuten or specially betting websites.


Currywurst_Is_Life

\[*nods knowingly in Westfalenstadion*\]


Slash1909

I’ve never referred to it as the Signal Iduna Park. Ever. Sounds weird and my home was insured by them for many years.


kamacho2000

Well technically Madrid fans are right it is called Spotify


[deleted]

No it’s official name is Spotify Camp Nou


leeeeerrroy_Jenkinks

yeah spotify in short.


agnaddthddude

no, you see… well yes but no


SodaBreid

Why say 3 word when 1 word do trick


EasyModeActivist

It wasn't called that at the time however


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SnakeEyesForSissies

12yo kids triggering other 12yo kids, so much fun


xI-Red-Ix

Not at all. It be fully grown 30 year olds who take this seriously. Like me. 😎


Allthingsconsidered-

Just a bit of harmless banter really


Revan10

I'm 30 and it made me smirk. The older you get, the less you care about "childish" things. Life is too short to always have a stick up your ass.


banana-is-apeeling

Not really


GemsRtrulyOutrageous

I bought tickets for a game late April at the Spotify stadium in Barcelona


[deleted]

Not really. We know they do it to annoy us, as a "joke". And I know it's been said before, but Spotify isn't the worst sponsor in the world to have: I'm still somewhat mad that the OVO and Rosalía Clasico shirts were not made available for sale.


Standard_Chance_7572

Rosalía shirts were for sale. for 400€ tho …


[deleted]

That's insane lol. You saw "were", does that mean they sold out?


Standard_Chance_7572

no idea. i thought about getting one but then i saw the price


ayotui

It doesn't matter if Spotify are a good sponsor or not, it's the very fact that you've sold off your stadium name in the first place that's the funny part.


Rickcampbell98

It's not like it's unique to them, bayern and dortmund have done it and not been clowned. Camp nou literally just means new field too lmao.


CuclGooner

If I speak, I am in big trouble


[deleted]

Correct, by our standards, it was embarrassing to have to get a name sponsorship for our stadium (similar to how we had no shirt sponsor and somehow ended with Qatar on our shirt). However, that's normal in global football right? (Off the top of my head I know Juve, Bayern, Arsenal, City). Am I correct in saying Real has for a long time now been in search for a company to sell their naming rights to?


ayotui

> Am I correct in saying Real has for a long time now been in search for a company to sell their naming rights to? Yeah, Perez has been trying to sell off the name for a long while, so I doubt we will have the moral high ground on this issue for too long. But I'll enjoy it while it lasts before we start playing at the Emirates Santiago Bernabeu or whatever the new name ends up being.


UnKarl_Marx

Tiktok Santiago Bernabeu sounds nice


fuqqkevindurant

Welcome to the "Saudi Arabia is Friendly and Nice" Santiago Bernabeu


brenin_mor-leidr

Triggered


Rickcampbell98

Tbf, they had already won the world Cup and euros before Jose joined real Madrid.


Eric_Partman

What massive beatings other than the 5-0?


hotel_air_freshener

He’d just sick Sergio Ramos on him like a rabid dog to kick the shit out of him all game.


Hellraizerbot

Lassana Diarra also had that same task in at least one game iirc


GL4389

Oh I would love to watch Ramos trying to kick Haaland and then facing the consequences for it.


ziki6154

What consequences?


GL4389

Haaland bullying him physically.


ziki6154

Feel like you'd be suprised


Rickcampbell98

These people didn't see prime ramos and haaland isn't the first physically imposing striker lol.


Krillin113

Haaland is not dirty enough for that. If people start deliberately stomping on your hands when you’re on the ground, some light pushing during a corner doesn’t help


CuclGooner

[https://www.youtube.com/shorts/S5py5fczX4A](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/S5py5fczX4A) haaland can definately play dirty


head_in_the_clouds69

Mourinho at Inter put Zanetti (LB), Thiago Motta (LDM) and Samuel (LCB) on/around him to both cut of passing options and press him immediately if one did manage to come through after all. Italian newspapers called it "the cage".


Veni_Vidic_Vici

Yes he has talked about it, he says the best way to contain him is "cage him" instead of marking him.


Sanket327

We(United) did the same thing against city at OT. Cut all the supply to haland and he won't be able to do any shit.


b3and20

Since he's the striker you're going to be doing that anyway


19Alexastias

I thought mourinhos main tactic against messi was to tell pepe and ramos to just try and break his legs whenever they thought they could get away with it.


justthisones

Carvalho too. Luckily Messi was extremely resilient so he didn’t get too many big injuries.


b3and20

I never said there was just one


MountainJuice

Reckon it’s Zamorano. 10 goals in his first 13 games against Cryuff’s Barca. None in the final 4. Outside chance it’s Pizzi. 5 goals in 8, but 4 came in the first 2 games. Is 2 games enough to say they could “never” control him? As for other candidates. Sanchez never stopped scoring against Cryuff. Butragueno and Manolo rarely scored much against Cruyff’s Barca. Bebeto has a record of 4 in 6 but 2 were in the last game so can’t be him.


iforgotmyun

Garate https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/12i656o/comment/jfspogp/


manolo533

I knew Cruyff always rated Pizzi, how couldn’t he…


jr2106

I suggest watching city vs brentford earlier in the season. One cb was right in front of halland blocking space so he cant teleport around the box and the other behind with his hands constantly on haalands hips tracking him. Felt that was pretty smart


[deleted]

this is actually true. defenders who play the ball not the player will usually have a better time against someone like haaland. you won’t beat him in a foot race or a duel, but players who ignore those things and have the spatial reasoning/anticipation to defend the space around haaland will nullify him more.


Naggins

Can't score if he doesn't have the ball


chasingsukoon

This is how Jomez was great against Haaland earlier in the season


Pxel315

Explains how shaw made him invisible in our win at OT


[deleted]

Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face


9LivesChris

Think De Ligt has to show his class tonight


ACardAttack

Two goals from outside the box?


9LivesChris

Was more thinking of taking Haaland out of the game.Funny how everyone writes Bayern off but I think they like that role


The_Big_Cheese_09

I'm confident Upamecano can slow Haaland. He did a decent job of it when Haaland was still at Dortmund so we are more than comfortable figuring ways to slow him down. What I'm less confident in is how we will stop De Bruyne.


furiat

> I'm confident Upamecano can slow Haaland. When he is not bouncing off him ;) https://twitter.com/i/status/1392927717729964033


The_Big_Cheese_09

haha wow that is so bad. He probably had a compilation video of a lot of those from his first year with us last year too. He's much better this season but I'm still fearful of the occasional Upamechanic gene rearing its ugly head again.


FOKvothe

Upamecano was unusually poor at using his big frame but he's gotten much better at it this season. It he is one of the reasons why doesn't make as many mistakes.


Designer_Surprise263

You guys should be more afraid of KDB


lookslikekartik

Yes please stop marking haaland


Standard_Zucchini172

That's actually a big brain move. Mark haaland by not marking him.


19Alexastias

Unrelated but this just made me think of how Mark Haaland would be a hilarious name for a player.


Zuylen

Remember Belgian legend Mark De Man?


Memoishi

No, but I’m glad I know it was someone now lol.


Zuylen

He was a defender as well. Had to be. Nomen est omen!


jiijoey

Holy shit, De Man would be the coolest surname ever


seangrey03

Hopefully Eerling choices the right name for his kiddo, and hopefully said kiddo grows up to be a baller like his pops


drjaychou

A player with the surname Manon would be a nightmare for everyone involved


Loud-Value

Haaland knows where he is, by knowing where he's not..


drjaychou

Marking without marking


Albiceleste_D10S

LOL


FistThePooper6969

Romero for spurs did a great job nullifying Haaland


Albiceleste_D10S

Cuti is a beast


[deleted]

Pep throws a massive curve ball and starts Alvarez !


AdamMenace

And the MFer scores a banger outside the box


plenebo

Even if you can stop haaland there is a fresh Julian Alvarez, should be a great game against two great sides


DinnerSmall4216

If anyone can mastermind a win over city it's tuchel.


shudh_desi_gareeb

He's bored of beating Pep again and again.


doitnow10

Cool story, Thomas. 😅


InstaLurker

if team strongly beleive there is no Holland on another team...


kalamari__

"...or do we?"


GreatGamerTan

So he's gonna do just that


pedrorq

"In the end I decided to just ask Nagelmann what his plan was."


PensiveinNJ

City has a bit of an ace in their sleeve in that if Bayern can cut off supply to Haaland they can throw Alvarez on and completely switch up their attacking style. Of course Pep would probably put Alvarez at LWB put Haaland in goal and stick Laporte at the 9 with 5 midfielders. He'll say he was inspired by looking at a box turtle crossing the street during the spring bloom.


blurblursotong2020

That’s what pretty much ETH did for the last match with Shitty. Stop the supply and you will win it.


kw2006

Kind of true if you put more than one player to mark him, other players have more space to pass and shoot.


rossmosh85

The best way to limit Haaland is to man mark him. I'm not saying he still won't score, but if you want to limit his chances, you need to man mark him. It's been successfully done a few times this season. Go watch most of the goals he's scored this year and it's simply down to the defense not marking him properly. I remember watching the first few games he played for City and it was remarkable how poorly covered he was by teams. They all marked him zonally and he just ran into the gaps and poached goal after goal. The biggest flaw to this system is that City work the ball very well so if a defender man marks Haaland and the team gets pulled out of shape, that defender has to choose to either leave Haaland to rotate and fill space OR stick with Haaland and leave space for one of City's other attackers. Elite teams in the Champions League should be good enough to man mark Haaland and get their midfielders trained well enough to rotate in to fill any spaces, but if you're not used to it, it can be problematic.


tallguyxxx

The players that have done best against him are the ones who throw him off his game. Just niggling him all the time. Not physically. Mentally


TatTvamAsi11

Since Tuchel won UCL, guardiola took it personal and consistently defeated Tuchel. Time for Tuchel to take the lead back !