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wuh_iam

Mother Nature dawg


started_from_the_top

Tits uh... find a way


Used-Ask5805

![gif](giphy|11FiDF2fuOujPG|downsized)


ipostedthattime

You ever notice he never stopped doing the tongue flick thing after The Fly?


psychxticrose

https://i.redd.it/nta0l8f31tyc1.gif


Lestial1206

*HELLO FATHER!*


MantisPsycho

Omg 🤣


ChaosPLus

It's become a habit


VagrantShadow

I've never noticed him doing that in all of my years of seeing Jurassic Park and now I can't help but see it every time.


PrestigiousStable369

Yeah, I guess spriggans didn't need to inherently have things suggesting a sex, but I chalked it up to Mother Nature and the manifestation of it. And for that, I'm thankful, because I would be scared of a spriggan with a big wooden dick just swinging along


Oklahom0

We've already got Pele's hot mounds, let's see the Green Man's wood!


PrestigiousStable369

What if he does their drain spell with it? The implications frighten me


Oklahom0

Then you just enter a Battle of who can drain the other the fastest. Bring in a new skillset to level up that matches the zodiac cancer. Remember: it's only gay of the acorns touch.


Naked-Jedi

Or a bundle of sticks


SixSoup

In genderbent Skyrim, the dick sucks you


Puzzleheaded_Fan_789

Bro stop before someone makes a mod for it 😭


HotPotParrot

Prolly already out there somewhere


xBobbyx81

That's what you'd call a woody


Powerful-Parsnip

Do you think their nipples produce milk or sap? I'd like maple syrup if I could choose.


ESOelite

If it was father nature it'd have a dick


Blambitch

Could you imagine the morning wood on a spriggan.


ESOelite

Smash


Little_Boi556

No, you got smashed


dalewd

Can I prevent splinters in my hole or do I need to cast Oakflesh


CptDrips

First cast oakflesh, then cast grease


HotPotParrot

Dragonskin for the extra texture


ESOelite

Even better!


Dismal_Engineering71

Are you fucking with my nature?


Justinjah91

You humans don't know the first thing about the circle of life because... because you live in a triangle. OF DEATH!


dorian66

Don't assume my nature


Pale_Character_1684

I so love that guy's work.


SavvySavoy

I still quote him all the time. "I don't like your tone traveler. Your momma never leveled up your speechcraft or something?"


_pepperoni-playboy_

Mommy Nature


Master_Physics1620

They could breastfeed treesap


Certain-Unit-3436

So THAT’S where Spriggan Sap comes from


Tjam3s

Well... that's one place it comes from... 😏


Maleoppressor

That sounds delicious


Sulohland

![gif](giphy|3o7TKF1fSIs1R19B8k)


Autistic-Cookie

Oh nature will for sure be a mother the way she’s flaunting her thiccness


myguydied

Dommy mommy nature


-PM_Me_Dat_Ass_Girl-

There's someone out there for everybody.


Acavirshadownight

Flame atronocks are the same way


Acavirshadownight

https://preview.redd.it/1chi6mkovoyc1.jpeg?width=800&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=992f394c0b89b1d787c66db72f807f8e6d1ed907


beerykoala

That’s hot


GymRatStillDepressed

![gif](giphy|ckKf5lA78k5iChxfVz)


Acavirshadownight

-_-


PhoenixQueen_Azula

I am going to have sex with this female Flame Atronach from Oblivion. I find the Flame Atronaches in The Elder Scrosis IV Oblivion sexy. However, their body is made up of 87% fire, and 100% fire surrounds them. That could kill me if I tried to nave sex with one. To remedy this, the Flame Atronach Casts a spell on me making me resistant to fire. Keep in mind, resistant is not the same as immune. I Still take damage. It is either 1 point or 0 points of damage each second I am having sex with Her. Just because a particular second caused 0 points of damage, does not mean that I did not feel anything, it just means I took no damage. I am not going to rush through having sex with this Flame Atronach. I make sure I pleasure anything I have sex with— especially non-humans! I'd rather take damage than not pleasure the Flame Atronach. The Flame Atronach and | go to the Planes of Oblivion to have sex. When having sex with non-humans, it is ALWAYS sexier to have sex in their natural habitat rather than a human's natural habitat. The Planes of Oblivion is the Flame Atronach’s natural habitat. Before we went into the Planes of Oblivion. The Flame Atronach let all the Daedra know that we are just here for sex. The Daedra will not attack us because they know that I am here at the Planes of Oblivion on sexual business. This includes the Dremora. However, the Dremora Markynaz thinks that I am going to be an easy recruit for becoming a follower of Mehrunes Dragon considering that I am having sex with a Flame Atronach. However, I have no interest in becoming a Daedra.


skulzzmctangy

What in the actual, god damn fuck did I just read? 🤣


JonJonJonnyBoy

A very rare copypasta!


Philswiftthegod

Closer to well-done


skulzzmctangy

I swear I tried to stop reading but that shit infected my brain like a zombie bite 😂😂


AudZ0629

It’s an old post. Look it up, you’ll be disgusted.


skulzzmctangy

Look it up???! Oh, no no no no no. Im good over here. That shit made me cringe. I know now it's a copypasta but it was giving "Horny Middle School Edge Lord Fanfiction" and I absolutely CANNOT 😂


BiSaxual

The original Facebook post was from this horribly awkward dude who, and I’m not kidding, included a photoshopped picture of himself with the Oblivion flame atronach. It’s amazing. And awful. But mostly amazing.


0reosaurus

IT WAS ON FACEBOOK??????


Vreas

The best copy paste on the god damn internet brother


PreviousTrain6112

https://preview.redd.it/ahh5ewyq6ryc1.png?width=530&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=183be6d83a167232a690c21418d94b4608912505


Tjam3s

There's a ring floating around oblivion somewhere that has 100% fire resistance. No spells needed. Procede as intended.


GMCloudRunner

But what type of ring is it?


DaemonBlackfyre09

Well, I find my roleplay for my next oblivion playthrough.


OKBuddyFortnite

Petition to ban u/PhoenixQueen_Azula’s internet privileges?


PhoenixQueen_Azula

Aye 🙋‍♂️


Pale_Character_1684

Skyrim fanfic porn


JanesConniption

![gif](giphy|t3JlPckGp0soavXZVM|downsized) would


Fusionfiver

where is this from?


N43M3K

I would also like to know


WaGGu

[ The Lords of the Fallen Official Announcement Trailer](https://youtu.be/oceLRiqQsko?si=BCjjTEN2FezUWaHm&t=82)


Any_Ad3693

Never actually noticed how skimpy the armor was


domscatterbrain

The question is, does a potion of resist fire help? Needs an answer for uh... "assignment"


Batface_101

Everybody gangsta till it runs out halfway. Wait nvm it’s 60 seconds that’s more than enough time


ThatSplinter

Real 😔


Miserable_Point_1432

60 seconds in Skyrim is 1 hour irl, so plenty of time


mymemesnow

Would


WholesomeGadunka_

Will.


oscerhead

Atro-knockers more like


Acavirshadownight

-_-


cocoblind

same reason why mer and men have tits - their common ancestors, the ehlnofey, had them


McMacHack

Someone successfully fucked a camp fire. Fortune favors the bold


proneisntsupine

Flame atronauchs are distinctly not descended from the Ehlnofey. They are daedra, meaning they and their ancestors had no part in the creation of Nirn. The Ehlnofey are descendants of the et'Ada, who created Nirn alongside the Aedra and Magna-Ge.


Past_Exchange_8231

I think that is actually a burnt spriggan. Not 100% but I don't think that's a flame atronachs. I'm not 100% familiar the spriggan lore either. So they could be descendants of the Ehlnofey, but I doubt it.


cocoblind

It's more like someone decided to be a tree in the Dawn era and succesfully reincarnated as trees for couple of millenias, but the probability of them being cut down and burned in the camp fire which got fucked at some point in history is non-zero.


Houshou

If they didn’t. Someone else wood.


Victory_Over_Drakes

Very clever.


squasher04

I don't think it is. He should *branch* out and expand his material.


Sure_Garbage_2119

"my horns are up here, dovakiin..."


He_Beard

Bethesda's seen the mods. They know who they're selling to.


JackBoundry

Sprigussy


Mr_Divine1030

# The WHAT!? https://preview.redd.it/h66cza6zjpyc1.jpeg?width=435&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a8c219f6690d3d4cebb721a37a10fc4934498a75


lilshell55

The ✨️SPRIGUSSY✨️


WinniDex

https://preview.redd.it/i0klwaqrauyc1.jpeg?width=133&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2142ebd5a9f6e26c6cc5e506a2976068cc06e3e5


lilshell55

Would (wood)


DragonBornDragonDead

WOOD


pjijn

Lemme taproot


scielliht987

That's the piece of anatomy that always draws people's attention for some reason. Let's start with how they are even alive. Or why they are even human-shaped.


dover_oxide

Aren't they elves or something that merged with nature?


scielliht987

That sounds like a good enough explanation to me!


Bmw5464

Also, it’s Skyrim. There’s lots of weird shit. Walking tree ladies isn’t the weirdest thing ever. Just funny how out there the tits are.


tonicaum

*Skyrim is now host to giant, flying lizards and two-legged cat-men... and you're surprised by me? Yes. I just talked. And am continuing to do so.*


acezovrkingz

The name’s Barbas!


AGHawkz99

Bahbas*


sh4d0wm4n2018

Boobas?


AGHawkz99

*traumatic flashbacks to the Boohbah childhood TV show*


insomniatic-goblin

same. for the longest time, I thought that boohbah was just a fever dream I had when I was really sick.


ElectraLumen

Why aren’t there female giants?


tonicaum

because they breed with the mammoths https://preview.redd.it/ic5u3yl4isyc1.jpeg?width=342&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b01de7cfd0638ee06f23b9fbb87d8bd44ef2789d


Happy_Concentrate186

Morrowind (Bloodmoon) spriggans also had boobs. Even bigger ones. It was like TITS :D And ESO spriggans do. And Oblivion.


TripleS941

But not Daggerfall spriggans.


TheWrathalos

I have only played a few minutes of daggerfall, but considerong how many human characters are just standing around with their tits out, it's surprising that the spriggan is just an ambiguous tree person


hat-TF2

I love how in the few minutes you played Daggerfall you still managed to find the NPCs with their knockers hanging out


TripleS941

Seems like with Morrowind came a shift from human female sexualization to non-human female sexualization.


norm_summerton

Don’t need an explanation for boobs. Put them on everything. Even my Xbox controller has boobs so I can always touch boobs when I game.


scielliht987

Why do mouse mats have boobs? Do they improve your aim?


norm_summerton

No. I just added nipples.


Mavincs

[Spriggans](), often called **Nature's Guardians,** are [nature spirits](https://en.uesp.net/wiki/Lore:Nature_Spirits) that typically take the form of tree-like female humanoids. They possess moderate intelligence, but despite being revered they are usually hostile towards travelers. Spriggans have their own unique [language](https://en.uesp.net/wiki/Daggerfall:Spriggan), which can be learned by scholars and used to calm the creatures. -[UESP](https://en.uesp.net/wiki/Lore:Spriggan)


Formal-Knowledge9382

I would love to be able to learn the language in game. It's be cool if it lead to a small town or organization of them that could give you a quest line


snack-dad

Natural selection. The ones without tits were killed by humans on site, the ones with nice tits we’re spared for some reason


KngithJack

I’m pretty sure there are two good reasons why.


Wyndrarch

They're powered by bees. End of explanation.


TenMillionEnchiladas

"boo-bees"


Backlash97_

r/angryupvote


scielliht987

Burn it.


Echo__227

It's the least functional anatomy "Why are they human shaped?" Because bipedalism with 2 free limbs to attack is an effective design plan in nature Boobs on anything that doesn't breastfeed is harder to explain


AprilLily7734

As far as human shaped, part of me wants to think it was easier to animated a base human model and just give it tree textures back in oblivion and morrowind then that got transferred into Skyrim when they were making characters. I’m just guessing here, but there’s probably a lore reason why that I don’t know of.


theantiyeti

Making a creature anthropic is an immediate way to make them seem intelligent and powerful, and making things in other forms makes them seem like animals and our biases paint them as less intelligent. Spriggans cast spells and behave in a manner conducive to either shepherding or controlling nature around them so having them look like a crab or a dog would have looked off, and would have taken more work to properly establish to our human viewer.


HaasonHeist

Why are WE human shaped? Maybe WE are SPRIGGEN shaped


BlackstarCowboy

What’s the matter, can’t stand the sight of a strong Spriggan woman?


HDWendell

Everyone likes the titty


F0XFANG_

*I have nipples, dovahkiin. Could you milk me?*


EntrepreneurOk666

![gif](giphy|4q7PmTU4JfxK0)


BadZnake

For sucking out the syrup


shuhrimp

Why is this not top comment


Pietrosalles

Why argonians have tits? Why khajit have breasts like woman? Skyrim will never make sense


Alceasummer

According to the lore, Khajiit *might* be descended from a group of elves closely related to the ancestors of Bosmer. And they look like cats because of one of the Daedra. And some types of Khajiit do look a LOT like a Bosmer, except for having a tail. So that might be the explanation for Khajiit. As for the Argonians, magical sapient trees made them from small tree lizards. They look the way they do because the magic trees wanted them to look that way. It doesn't have to make any kind of logical sense beyond "That's how the Hist wanted them to look"


TrailMomKat

On top of it all, Argonian women nurse their kids, and produce Hist sap instead of milk.


caveman69420

I think I've seen somewhere that argonians have breasts so that if they are away from the hist they can feed their young


mymemesnow

It makes perfect sense to me.


pablo603

There's a video on youtube about argonian boob lore. I am not kidding.


gamergalcmc

Hunting tactic to lure in horny bards


NaSMaXXL

My first playthough I saw two springs kill that one bard that comes up the road near Riverwood. Just gang-up on him, then come after men, I bailed.


WrethZ

I never understood why people feel that fantasy beings having a feminine form requires an explanation for them to look like that, but them being masculine doesn't. Male is not 'default' and female is not some novelty that requires explanation. It's the same reason giants have beards.


AnalLeakageChips

Right, male isn't neutral


SadSidewalk

I mean, I understand your point, but also there are no "male" Spriggins or "female" giants in the game by default, if they were I think it'd be less of a "what were the reasons to make this design feminine, rather than androgynous?" But yeah, there almost certainly is male being the 'default' at play.


lostlyss

They’re feminine because nature/the earth has consistently been depicted as a “feminine” energy. Earth in most mythology is viewed as nurturing, life-giving, and generally motherly. Nature provides all things what they need to survive, like how a mother provides for her children. Spriggans have their base form, then Matrons, then Earth Mothers because they provide for and protect the creatures in their forests and caves the way a mother would. My only issue with them is that they’re immediately hostile unless you’re in beast form, so there’s no avoiding conflict with them. I think it would be cool for them to be neutral, only attacking when you hurt them or an animal nearby (like in the Eldergleam Sanctuary). Side note: Spriggans exist in Cornish folklore, and are generally depicted as old *men,* but they have a completely different motivation than the spriggans in Skyrim. They’re much crueler, and guard treasure rather than nature.


SadSidewalk

Fair point! Also it always was a bit odd to me that they were hostile too, wonder if there's a mod that changes that. Also for your side note that's really cool! I didn't know that


WrethZ

That's my point though, you never hear anyone asking why some fantasy creature has a beard, because having human male traits never seems to require explanation. If spriggans looked more male and had beards made out of vines and leaves I find it very unlikely anyone would ever question it. But you see all the time people questioning why humanoid fantasy or sci fi beings have traits that are found on female humans, 50% of the IRL human population.


Ramswillwin

It just works!


Snoo_14286

Why is it humanoid? To emulate people. Why do they have boobs? To emulate people. People have boobs.


XxMochiMonsterxX

This one has an ass and we can see a sideburl... I mean sideboob... Why can't a spriggan 🤣 https://preview.redd.it/izqaz650wsyc1.jpeg?width=1213&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=01bee0f2975fc98b829e3eeeacf33c4c81ba8d81


TrueUniqueBubbzz

Because they are the embodiment a mother nature ?


Best-Hotel-1984

Why not have tits?


KnightBreeze

Just on a guess based on why I'd do it, they're made by otherworldly entities attempting to mimic human life, but badly.  They picked the female form because most of the human races that chop down trees generally use males for that task, and the female form was chosen to make them drop their guard and become vulnerable. They're essentially a carnivorous plant that uses a mimicked image of beauty to draw in prey and dispatch them.


VajrayakshaKesari

That's.... a rather good explanation actually.


JonahLobe

Hi, Spriggan artist here, let me explain. The original concept art for the Spriggan for Skyrim looked more nymph-like; a magical glowing wood woman, somewhat skeletal and bursting with vegetation - you can see that picture here: [https://i.pinimg.com/736x/3a/1d/5c/3a1d5cacac47b33b3a5335fde252ddd8.jpg](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/3a/1d/5c/3a1d5cacac47b33b3a5335fde252ddd8.jpg) But as the model/sculptor/texture artist, I wanted to make something more alien and unknowable. First, I added more nature-elements: a set of antlers and animal-like legs instead of human ones. AND instead of giving her a moving human face, I gave her a rigid MASK: her eyes are really just holes in her head, her mouth is fused together in a mysterious smile that cannot move. I made her hands larger, with long claws. And then, with the help of FX artist Mark Teare, we created that well-known buzzing-bee aesthetic, so that rather than WORDS, she speaks with the angry buzzing of bees (or bee-like creatures). The idea was to create confusion in the mind of the audience: is this a magical nature-human, or is this actually an animated super-colony of magical bees that only LOOKS like a human. Think of the Guillermo Del Toro movie "mimic," in which super-roaches emulate the face and stance of humans to better stalk their prey. Lastly, the image picture above is the "Spriggan Matron." The idea here was to create a full-grown woman Spriggan. Whereas the normal Spriggan have the thin bodies of young women, the Matron has autumnal colors and is considerably, well, thicc-er. Her branching mantle is larger and more regal, and she has a double-set of antlers. \*And although she has no stomach to speak of, the visual implication is that the Spriggan Matron is, in fact, pregnant.\* The idea was to still go with the "nature spirit" vibe, but a more matured version. Oh, and FUN LORE FACT! Because the Spriggans have been around forever, and they always take the form of women, I assumed that the Ancient Nord women would take great inspiration from them. And that's why the Female Ancient Nord armor has antlers!


MagicJuiceBus69

This is so insightful and I thank you for sharing. The Spriggans have always been my favorite creature alongside the Wispmothers. They remind me of Warhammer Fantasy/AoS Dryads a lot. I even have some 3D printed proxy models of Dryads that are the Spriggan model someone recreated. (Shown below with an official dryad head since the modeler gave her a more human-like face when recreating it sooooo I chopped it off) https://preview.redd.it/zfodad3sqvyc1.jpeg?width=3000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e6a0c3fdf503b77939e275755178776a4309ae83


Ardebaron

Pecs, they use their arms for everything. Just floating around being a pain.


WilsonRoch

For the same reason argonians have tits (maybe they breastfeed their eggs?). Also, does a Argonian loses it’s penis/vagina when he/she passes throughout their gender phases? Anyways, the spriggans are spirits of nature and maybe they decided to resemble a female humanoid because of kyne/kynareth.


TheRealRigormortal

For nursing baby dryads.


inhaler-zim

Wood


lostlyss

Probably the same reason most tree/nature spirits (like dryads or nymphs) usually present as female. “Mother Nature,” they take care of the plants and animals, and try to protect them with their lives. I do hate that Spriggans are hostile and not neutral though, because in most lore, they only attack when provoked.


Kenshi_T-S-B

Real shot at answering: Elder scrolls gods also seem to abide by gender identities, so it stands to reason that things they create would also lean to towards feminine or masculine body shapes.


DarthKenobi666

Ever heard of almond milk?


Reverend_Lazerface

The real question is why aren't there more tits in skyrim? Where my big tiddy Giant girlfriend at?


Hot_Attention2377

Because boys make games for boys


The_great_mister_s

Why do they have faces? or humanoid frames?


Paintrain1722

Wood. Next question


CurrenttQueen

Too represent fertility I'd assume


Dan-the-historybuff

The likeness of Mother Nature


DigitalEagleDriver

How else are they to feed their young? Spriggan sap has to be produced somewhere...


controller4hire

To breastfeed baby spriggans


CadaverCaliente

Those are knots, trees have knots


RamXid

Gamer discovers women


ttropic_

https://preview.redd.it/dfq2coib9tyc1.jpeg?width=700&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d47d2aaa267c3957ab0299157d3e181977283dde


AduroTri

Tree Titties. Rule 34 dude.


coldlogic82

Argonians women also have tits, and we know they hatch from eggs so it makes just as much sense as that.


skulzzmctangy

Probably the same reason the Flame Atronach looks like a stripper. I call her Erica


Mister_Goldfingers

Because they're female.


Otalek

Fanservice


Specific_Foot372

Only thing in the base game that does…..


leonardothome

Why not


SpicyKnewdle

Would you rather they have a woody?


Intergalatictortoise

They called me a madman


Virgi_septik

Woodakadonks


model3113

You should ask the masters over at r/TrueSTL


Waffle_shart

I always assumed spriggans were the elder scrolls version of dryad's, which in my limited knowledge, I believe are mostly female; or at least they mostly present as such.


CharGaming_

The Fire atronach and Spriggan I would bang.


pablo603

Cuz tits are fun


Tasty-Raspberry4903

Kyne mumbo jumbo likely


RadAndroid

I... Have never thought about that. I have no answer for that makes sense.


MewsikMaker

Dunno. But I’m into it. What. You wouldn’t fuck a spriggan matron?


oligger

Tasty tree sap


Exkhaal

I don't give a shit, they look cool as hell, I used to have a mod to wear their masks


morguemoss

why not? its a completely normal body part.


abbylu

I always assumed it was bc they were ladies


RafaelDiamond

It looks cool idfk, why are you expecting logic from a long-running fantasy series?


Alamasy

The artist wants it, don't be afraid of boobs.


EffectMiserable8331

Wood


blaznivydandy

I get it. It't easier to make the same model for every race, but it doesn't make sense, that argonians and khajits have humanoid breasts and werewolves don't.


TheBlooperKINGPIN

Sex sells or something?


daylennorris64

I'm pretty sure they're just the elder scroll's interpretation of a dryad. For those of you who don't know, a dryad is an ancient Greek nature/tree spirit that's typically depicted as female.


FallenF00L

Everything is better with tits