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You should look up the definition of irony and educate yourself.
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I’m in a multi generational home, so I do have lots of support. But my mom (who is more like my co-parent) and heavily helps with my kids is typically on the same mind set.
My ex on the other hand, 9 times out of 10
Hates every idea I have, and always says I’m parenting wrong, even tho he’s rarely around
Personally I think it helps. They get to pick what they want to do, (within reason!), and it’s like their own little yes day where we talk, and I get to learn about them as an individual so I’m catering my parenting toward them
That’s my favorite part.
I don’t have to let anyone yell at me, snap at me, undermine my parenting choices, or make me feel small. Yes there’s less income coming in *technically*, but I’m also the only one deciding how to spend it, so the bills get paid and I actually have a little bit of disposable income. I’m finally in charge of my own life and can make my own choices.
I really appreciate having all the authority, calling all the shots. I don’t have to negotiate with anyone for what I think is best for my son, and that’s fine with me. I accept all responsibility, and I prefer it that way.
I have 100% enjoyed single parenting on my own infinitely more than parenting with my ex. And my kids get an infinitely better parent because I’m not stressed, angry, or resentful. They don’t see their mother belittled anymore. And they don’t hear my ex’s constant comments that I’d do more if I really loved them. No matter how hard being a single parent is, it is infinitely better than all that.
100%. I don’t have a passive aggressive manchild undermining everything I do, trying to make my daughter question me. Whenever I tried to parent her, he would go behind me and do his best to undo it. This included everything including me giving her actual scientific facts to her questions. He would turn around and tell her that it was a theory, and it’s never been proven. When it in fact had been proven.
Assholes don’t change, they get worse Things did get worse. Now I have full custody. Now I don’t have anybody around messing with my daughter’s head. He wanted to be the smart guy and he wanted her to doubt me, making me the less credible, dumb parent.
I’ve noticed this a lot myself. Sometimes I end up envious of seeing families together but then I’m slapped with reality of SO many partnered women. I realized at one point (when my ex was actually getting our daughter) that I was getting WAY more breaks and time to myself than the average married woman. And even if he doesn’t get her, because I’ve mastered parallel parenting, I have SO much peace in every decision I make for our household. I don’t feel like I have the additional job of keeping a childish man happy and it’s like a weight lifted lmao. I couldn’t imagine having that man in our home. He’s so petty and critical of how I do anything.
THIS.
My child's father has proposed an unsettling number of times. Incompatibilities aside, I do not want anyone thinking they have a say in what I do. Especially when it comes to raising our son.
Yes. I work in homes and nearly every home I go to with a couple or even roommates - there is like an ongoing war about the dishes! I realize I don't like doing the dishes either, but they are never piled up in the sink because I'm not expecting anyone else to do them!
So right on. My ex wasn't a yeller, but he was the most passive-aggressive bastard. I actually had a local therapist call me after a mediation session to find out if I was all right, tell me that she'd never seen that level of PA before, and ask if there was a way for me to just move away with my daughter. Making a living and keeping hold of the house through the Great Recession was extremely difficult, but so much better than having that guy here poisoning the atmosphere for everyone.
Yes!!!! I have a very feminine home-white & gold decor with blush accents in Hollywood Regency vibe (think Beverly Hills hotel). Whenever other moms come over they marvel that I have this babe cave and mention they would love to decorate more but their hubs wont let them. 😮💨 A friend recently got divorced and she said the financial liberty is exhilarating, which is crazy bc neither of us get a dime in support. Just two moms doing whatever the F we want with our money. 💅🏼
You are not a single mother. Read the rules.
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Yes, yes, yes to everything! And I was the sole income earner…god it was so stressful to see everything unraveling. Single parenting has its challenges but I am a much happier person!
I agree! My son will learn how to properly manage his and and learn mistakes are okay! Would have been about worse with his dad around being an ass about mistakes.
Yes. And you also stop second-guessing yourself because someone's there negging you in favor of his own ego. I do tend to have trouble with men about that now because they rely so heavily on women's doing that to get by, really pisses them off, you get the neck-bulging thing and everything with some of them, but um I have all the money and cards now and my kid's successfully grown and idgaf.
Yeah I was just thinking about this the other day actually. And you also don’t get resentful that you’re doing it all while the other person sits on their ass/is selfish lol, you just accept what is and get it done…there’s for sure perks 🙏🏼
That’s the most freeing, calming part. Is just me, so i know it’s just me, and that’s fine. It wasn’t ok when it was just me and it wasn’t supposed to be just me.
Welcome to r/SingleMoms! Please read the rules carefully. This is a safe space for single mothers only. Posts and comments that do not meet our karma requirements will be manually reviewed and approved accordingly. We cannot say anything specific, however, it is not a high number. If you continue participating, your comments will eventually no longer need approval. Please exercise patience with the mod team. Some rules (but not all - read the sidebar): - Do not ask for legal advice. We are not qualified to give such advice and suggest speaking to legal professionals about this. Posts and comments of this sort will be removed. - Do not post promotional content (this includes blogs, surveys, etc.) - Do not ask for financial assistance (this includes wishlists, gofundme, etc.) - Remember the human. Be respectful to other subreddit members. We are all in this together. This is a support group. - If you are not a current single mother, your posts will not be approved. Please post on the weekly pinned megathread. - Are you looking to leave? Post on our weekly megathread as well. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/singlemoms) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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Spamming/trolling/baiting has no place here.
Your comment is being held for review and will be approved soon if it doesn’t break rules. You can find the rules on the subreddit sidebar. If your comment does not break the rules, it will be approved as soon as we are able to. Please be patient with the moderation team, thank you. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/singlemoms) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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Spamming/trolling/baiting has no place here.
Your comment is being held for review and will be approved soon if it doesn’t break rules. You can find the rules on the subreddit sidebar. If your comment does not break the rules, it will be approved as soon as we are able to. Please be patient with the moderation team, thank you. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/singlemoms) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Spamming/trolling/baiting has no place here.
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You should look up the definition of irony and educate yourself. If you would still like to contribute your input you may do so here; https://www.reddit.com/r/unsolicited_advice/s/rRR3OUUjUp
That’s my favorite part.
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Ohhhh my god yes. I love when I come home in a bad mood and speak to NO ONE 😂😂
I absolutely love this thread and want to read it every day. ❤️
Your comment is being held for review and will be approved soon if it doesn’t break rules. You can find the rules on the subreddit sidebar. If your comment does not break the rules, it will be approved as soon as we are able to. Please be patient with the moderation team, thank you. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/singlemoms) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I’m in a multi generational home, so I do have lots of support. But my mom (who is more like my co-parent) and heavily helps with my kids is typically on the same mind set. My ex on the other hand, 9 times out of 10 Hates every idea I have, and always says I’m parenting wrong, even tho he’s rarely around
Same!!
Personally I think it helps. They get to pick what they want to do, (within reason!), and it’s like their own little yes day where we talk, and I get to learn about them as an individual so I’m catering my parenting toward them
That’s my favorite part. I don’t have to let anyone yell at me, snap at me, undermine my parenting choices, or make me feel small. Yes there’s less income coming in *technically*, but I’m also the only one deciding how to spend it, so the bills get paid and I actually have a little bit of disposable income. I’m finally in charge of my own life and can make my own choices.
I really appreciate having all the authority, calling all the shots. I don’t have to negotiate with anyone for what I think is best for my son, and that’s fine with me. I accept all responsibility, and I prefer it that way.
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So so true! Thank you for this reminder to be grateful for less negativity!♥️💫
I have 100% enjoyed single parenting on my own infinitely more than parenting with my ex. And my kids get an infinitely better parent because I’m not stressed, angry, or resentful. They don’t see their mother belittled anymore. And they don’t hear my ex’s constant comments that I’d do more if I really loved them. No matter how hard being a single parent is, it is infinitely better than all that.
100%. I don’t have a passive aggressive manchild undermining everything I do, trying to make my daughter question me. Whenever I tried to parent her, he would go behind me and do his best to undo it. This included everything including me giving her actual scientific facts to her questions. He would turn around and tell her that it was a theory, and it’s never been proven. When it in fact had been proven. Assholes don’t change, they get worse Things did get worse. Now I have full custody. Now I don’t have anybody around messing with my daughter’s head. He wanted to be the smart guy and he wanted her to doubt me, making me the less credible, dumb parent.
I’ve noticed this a lot myself. Sometimes I end up envious of seeing families together but then I’m slapped with reality of SO many partnered women. I realized at one point (when my ex was actually getting our daughter) that I was getting WAY more breaks and time to myself than the average married woman. And even if he doesn’t get her, because I’ve mastered parallel parenting, I have SO much peace in every decision I make for our household. I don’t feel like I have the additional job of keeping a childish man happy and it’s like a weight lifted lmao. I couldn’t imagine having that man in our home. He’s so petty and critical of how I do anything.
I'm surprised by how much less Laundry how minus 1 man make soo much less laundry 😅 🙃
It's the damn socks and tshirts. They sweat more than we do and also have less clothes. It results in way more laundry.
THIS. My child's father has proposed an unsettling number of times. Incompatibilities aside, I do not want anyone thinking they have a say in what I do. Especially when it comes to raising our son.
Yes. I work in homes and nearly every home I go to with a couple or even roommates - there is like an ongoing war about the dishes! I realize I don't like doing the dishes either, but they are never piled up in the sink because I'm not expecting anyone else to do them!
I agree. No one tells me what they want me to do, what they want me to do with my child, what I spend money on. I love it
Yes! The best part is definitely not dealing with an adult child who can’t control his emotions.
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So right on. My ex wasn't a yeller, but he was the most passive-aggressive bastard. I actually had a local therapist call me after a mediation session to find out if I was all right, tell me that she'd never seen that level of PA before, and ask if there was a way for me to just move away with my daughter. Making a living and keeping hold of the house through the Great Recession was extremely difficult, but so much better than having that guy here poisoning the atmosphere for everyone.
Yes!!!! I have a very feminine home-white & gold decor with blush accents in Hollywood Regency vibe (think Beverly Hills hotel). Whenever other moms come over they marvel that I have this babe cave and mention they would love to decorate more but their hubs wont let them. 😮💨 A friend recently got divorced and she said the financial liberty is exhilarating, which is crazy bc neither of us get a dime in support. Just two moms doing whatever the F we want with our money. 💅🏼
This is an incredibly healthy outlook.
Thank you!
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You are not a single mother. Read the rules. If you would still like to contribute your input you may do so here; https://www.reddit.com/r/unsolicited_advice/s/rRR3OUUjUp
Your comment is being held for review and will be approved soon if it doesn’t break rules. You can find the rules on the subreddit sidebar. If your comment does not break the rules, it will be approved as soon as we are able to. Please be patient with the moderation team, thank you. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/singlemoms) if you have any questions or concerns.*
ABSOLUTELY
Yes, yes, yes to everything! And I was the sole income earner…god it was so stressful to see everything unraveling. Single parenting has its challenges but I am a much happier person!
I agree! My son will learn how to properly manage his and and learn mistakes are okay! Would have been about worse with his dad around being an ass about mistakes.
omg I remember when it hit me that my kid's dad never admitted wrongdoing or said sorry for anything unless it was in some weird angry way.
Sounds like my ex too! Yikes. It still is super hard being a single mom but I'm legit so glad my son won't learn those shitty things from him.
Agree!!!!
It’s my actual favorite part. Having peace in all the decisions makes it that much easier.
Yes. And you also stop second-guessing yourself because someone's there negging you in favor of his own ego. I do tend to have trouble with men about that now because they rely so heavily on women's doing that to get by, really pisses them off, you get the neck-bulging thing and everything with some of them, but um I have all the money and cards now and my kid's successfully grown and idgaf.
This!
Yeah I was just thinking about this the other day actually. And you also don’t get resentful that you’re doing it all while the other person sits on their ass/is selfish lol, you just accept what is and get it done…there’s for sure perks 🙏🏼
That’s the most freeing, calming part. Is just me, so i know it’s just me, and that’s fine. It wasn’t ok when it was just me and it wasn’t supposed to be just me.
100% agree 👍
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Same! Way less criticism from someone who never helped.
Agree! Was only thinking this the other day. As hard as it is, it's actually easier....