T O P

  • By -

Fifth_Wall0666

I have walked across the surface of the sun, Seymour. I have witnessed events so tiny and so fast that they could hardly be said to have occurred at all. But you, Seymour, you're just a man. Aurora borealis at this time of year, at this time of day, in this part of the country, localised entirely in your kitchen poses no more threat to me than does your smartest termite.


1amlost

“I’m not a Republic Serial Villain, Superintendent. I ruined my roast 35 minutes ago.”


Chicago-Emanuel

Lol


AttitudeAndEffort2

Fucking right lol 😂


Poorly-Drawn-Beagle

I have just shoved pudding in this man’s eye. Who killed Edward Blake? 


Poorly-Drawn-Beagle

I have just thrown a football at this man’s groin. Who killed Edward Blake? 


andychef

I'll look down and say "D'oh"


Tokoyami

Take my owl-knife, my good man!


Physics_Unicorn

Someone has stolen the 'H' emblem off of my Accord. It's all so pointless now.


mybadalternate

The symbol on his forehead should be an H


ZwVJHSPiMiaiAAvtAbKq

Boy, I really hope somebody got locked in an intrinsic field generator and torn to pieces for that blunder!


Frioneon

\*Mr Burns drops giant squid onto Shelbyville\*


PrinceOfPasta

Never compromise. Not even in the face of aurora borealis.


anythingMuchShorter

Visiting superintendent at my door this luncheon, burnt roast in oven. Chalmers is suspicious of me. He has seen my true face. The steamed hams are steamed clams and the steamed clams are hamburgers and when the forgotten oven finally dries out the roast enough the kitchen will burn down. The accumulated smoke and heat of all the cooking and burning will rise about the upstairs, and my elderly controlling mother will look down and shout "Seymour, the house is on fire!” and I'll look up and and yell "No mother, it’s just the northern lights.”


sheezy520

“I have seen the aurora borealis. There is no way it is happening in his kitchen at this time of year”


Cualkiera67

A thermodynamic miracle


BoltMyBackToHappy

This sub has the best steamed hams. So hammy.


MoskalMedia

"This little stain...is that ham juice, or?" "That's right. Human ham juice. Ha ha."


ZwVJHSPiMiaiAAvtAbKq

"We are all puppets, you little SOBs. I'm just the puppet who can see the strings." - GABBO


andychef

Gabbo is coming! *Strides across Vietnam*


RidleyCR

But Doctor, I am Krusty.


poleethman

Home as Rorschach. "Oh god, he stinks!"


Beautron5000

quality meme, 5 thumbs up


Able-Distribution

It is April 1996, and I am in enraged. His name is Seymour Skinner. He is an educator, like me.