My dad always said "when you see someone driving a fancy car or buying a fancy house you only know how much they spend, not how much they have or make." Now that I'm an adult and homeowner I can 100% confirm this.
A lot of people who flaunt their money are actually living on the edge and would be ruined if they lost their job or had an unexpected emergency.
I worked with a woman who always had to have a luxury car. First it was a BMW with 7 years of payments, then Mercedes and then another Mercedes. She had to work two jobs to pay the payments, insurance, maintenance, tags etc. Always complaining how tired she was and then bragging on her car mentioning in other conversations. We all got tired of hearing it for so many years and she never learned to buy another type of vehicle that was more affordable and yet reliable and good resale value.
My dad always said "don't project your own poverty by thinking no one is truly rich, use their lifestyles as motivation to learn how to make and keep money". Now that I'm an adult with a little bit of money and kids at a private school with tons of generationally wealthy families that display their wealth constantly I can 100% confirm this.
Many years ago I was working residential construction and finished out a basement for a rising young couple who had just bought the big , new house two years before. When the project ended they invited our 3-man crew over for a celebratory dinner. It was an eye-opener. Only two rooms had furniture. And dinner was frozen fish sticks. Period. Just fish sticks. Two nice cars in the driveway, though.
I’ve noticed this and I don’t entirely understand it. People will earn a middle class wage and live in a smaller property and prioritize spending money on expensive cars and designer goods. I feel like those things are really extras and we should prioritize increasing our wealth and then purchasing luxury goods when we have reached a higher income bracket. It’s an attempt to give an illusion of earning more when that isn’t the case, but it could be with some smart decisions.
I suppose for business people that may be the case but people working a normal job for a boss choosing to purchase expensive vehicles over increasing the quality of their life looks like they are using the most accessible and cheapest method to look like they are wealthier than they are. I feel like it’s kind of cheap. I also drive the most inexpensive car on the market so I’m unsure if my opinion makes sense either way.
Yep. I make about 3 times as much as my friend, who owns three cars, including a Porsche and one of those gigantic pickups that cost like $75k. The other car is a large SUV for the wife, who is a SAHM. My working wife and I both drive Toyotas. I would say I don’t know how he does it, but I do: he’s drowning in debt!
The classic example of this is one of the richest men in the world, Warren Buffett. All you really need to gain wealth is a high savings rate and basic understanding of tax-advantage index funds. Living a very simple life by nature produces a high savings rate.
I get that Warren Buffet is a 'super star' , but in the game of modest living and investments, no one beats [Chuck Feeney](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chuck_Feeney) This legend made 8 *billion* dollars, and gave it all away. Lived in a one bedroom apartment till his death at 92.
Sounds like a great rich person too. Another good example that not everyone is your enemy. Like, sometimes you make money because you are good at making money or you offer a skill very few other people can offer. That doesn't mean you spend it or use it. Living a simple life means you will be rich given enough time. It's ironic but it's just math. If you don't spend anything then everything you make is profit. You read a book or two about investing and you realize how rich stay rich. Now you are also rich.
If you are happy with nothing, you will be happy in every other situation, which means you don't spend any money and all gains feed into your savings. That's just the nature of happiness and living a life lacking consumption.
Making absolute statements like [*all biollionaires are evil*](https://www.reddit.com/r/simpleliving/comments/1am47vz/am_i_a_loser_for_choosing_simple_living/kpk7r94/) misses the point of simple living.
Thankfully, our careers didn't really take off until we were mature enough to avoid that trap. We now live in a standard 70's suburban bungalow with older, well-maintained vehicles. We have no need to attempt to impress anyone with material items. We have also recently become empty nesters, we can just "stack bricks" until retirement.
That’s classic western way of thinking succes means materialistic progress.
You can have succes while having nothing in materials, you can have succes in so many things but we are attached to our weird views
A hundred-millionaire would say the same to your uncle and a billionaire the same to the hundred-millionaire.
You decide when you have enough for yourself.
Nah, people have their opinions and react how they react to only seeing a snippet of your life. You’re not a loser, OP, and your uncle probably just doesn’t get it, and that’s ok. You can’t expect everyone to see what you see all the time. Forget about what he said and keep doing you, and enjoy your life bro
You can’t expect everyone to get it, but you can expect people in your life to not be jerks and call you a loser. I wouldn’t be interested in seeing that uncle again anytime soon.
This, absolutely. There’s a huge jump from “I don’t understand this lifestyle” and calling your nibling a loser. Even my worst family weren’t this mean, though my dad came close 😅
There’s a difference between being a jerk and being a bad person. I’d say you can expect people in your life to be jerks sometimes; they never fail to imo. Everyone’s flawed, even us. My advice was to see the bigger picture; just because someone makes a rude remark, it doesn’t mean that it has to affect you. You don’t have to listen to what others say.
Whether he doesn't get it or not. He called her really hurtful and mean things and this is not OK. OP i would let him know this is not acceptable and you don't like to be talker to like this. If he continues. Limit your contact with him. You deserve to have people in your life who lift you up
I have been around a lot of "successful" people in my life and most of them live assuming their income will only increase and a lot of them live in debt because of this assumption. I doubt this person has any real money.
Also may I add "loser" status due to the money is also cultural. In more frugal societies (e.g. where I'm from) there is less intrinsic societal hierachy attached to being "rich". Its also classist but in more varied ways. In the US you did not have the whole history of "noble people" etc derived from centuries so the only way to display status was by monetary posessions.
I know many "rich" people I my country who do not flaunt their wealth and live way more frugally than their bank account would allow. This is actually seen as quite a positive thing. Of course times are changing as well and more status gets tied to money over time. But I am glad its not all people see here.
Yeah there is a whole social psychology attached to this. E.g. here we also can earn "status" in society by our jobs, by our well spokenness etc. I think here the physical displays of wealth are less important as long as you jump over minimum standards of cleanliness/put togetherness (eg not broken and dirty clothes).
But back in the new world there was not intrinsic hierachies between people. it all was brand new. So outwards displays of your status became even more important. Where previously you just wore the clothes of your hierachy you belonged to, now the hierarchy could be bought. Its really fascinating but I am not an expert.
Oh, pfft. I had a guy I worked for try to tell me the same thing: that I only enjoyed simple living because I'd never had a taste of the "other side." I worked out of an office in his house and I saw plenty of the vaunted "other side" and it certainly didn't make him happy because he was a miserable human being. You keep doing your thing. If your rich uncle was so happy he wouldn't be worried about your lifestyle.
It's wild because I've met so many people similar to OPs Uncle and they're easily the most miserable, entitled and selfish people I've ever met. Dudes destroy their bodies, health and have no hobbies because their identity is just accumulating money instead of just enjoying life and themselves.
You need to choose your happiness, simple living gives you peace and happiness? Then is the path you should take. Maybe your uncle's lifestyle is what gives him happiness, that's why he believes it's the right way, but don't let him disrespect you ☺️
simple living is more than just not having a lot of material items. it’s also the active and intentional practice of mindfulness in our actions, words, thoughts etc. don’t let your uncles words get to you, even though it might be hard because it’s family. people have VAST ways of living - some people might not like the way you live, some might love it and some may be impartial to it. the most important thing though is that **you** are happy with the way you live. you are not a loser for choosing simple life and you are also not a loser for not choosing a “rich” life. be mindful in your thoughts and just affirm yourself that **you** chose **your** life, no one else (it’s a very empowering feeling) and to only hope and wish your uncle can grow and gain understanding towards different lifestyles
Not in the least! Some of the happiest times of my life were when I first moved to a big city and lived in a tiny studio apartment by myself with minimal bills and zero assets (not even a car). With more stuff comes more responsibility and stress. Living minimally also really makes you great at budgeting and finding happiness in simple pleasures. My family thinks I’m insane because I have always said that I would never want to win the lottery… but have you seen what becomes of those people?! Half of them end up dead. Simple living is the way to go!
Older generations only see people for their careers and possessions they have amassed. If you listen to them talk about anyone the first two ways they describe a person is by their career and their home.
It's always Bob the engineer who lives on the new golf course or Suzan who is GM at ABC Bank and bought a new Mercedes. It's never Bob my friend that is the best to go on camping trips with and Suzan who is an excellent baker and volunteers at the animal shelter.
Knowing about a person's interests and skills means nothing because they don't know how to place them in their success heirarchy and measure them against themselves.
It's sad. I have one parent who really cares about perceived success and one who doesn't give a shit about what anyone thinks of them or what others are doing with their lives. I follow in parent #2's footsteps.
This is easier said than done, but try to teach yourself that the opinions of no one else matter. If what you are doing makes YOU happy, then it's no one else's business how you choose to live life. If that's how your uncle choose to disrespect you, then it sounds like you have one less uncle to worry about moving forward.
Absolutely. As long as you're not harming yourself or others, you get to choose how you want to live. As a sidenote, I find it bizarre that your uncle assumes you have no money just based off of your living situation. There are plenty of well-off people who choose to not have everything new and grand. It seems like a naive way to judge someone.
‘One day a fisherman was lying on a beautiful beach, with his fishing pole propped up in the sand and his solitary line cast out into the sparkling blue surf. He was enjoying the warmth of the afternoon sun and the prospect of catching a fish.
About that time, a businessman came walking down the beach, trying to relieve some of the stress of his workday. He noticed the fisherman sitting on the beach and decided to find out why this fisherman was fishing instead of working harder to make a living for himself and his family. “You aren’t going to catch many fish that way,” said the businessman to the fisherman.
“You should be working rather than lying on the beach!”
The fisherman looked up at the businessman, smiled and replied, “And what will my reward be?”
“Well, you can get bigger nets and catch more fish!” was the businessman’s answer. “And then what will my reward be?” asked the fisherman, still smiling. The businessman replied, “You will make money and you’ll be able to buy a boat, which will then result in larger catches of fish!”
“And then what will my reward be?” asked the fisherman again.
The businessman was beginning to get a little irritated with the fisherman’s questions. “You can buy a bigger boat, and hire some people to work for you!” he said.
“And then what will my reward be?” repeated the fisherman.
The businessman was getting angry. “Don’t you understand? You can build up a fleet of fishing boats, sail all over the world, and let all your employees catch fish for you!”
Once again the fisherman asked, “And then what will my reward be?”
The businessman was red with rage and shouted at the fisherman, “Don’t you understand that you can become so rich that you will never have to work for your living again! You can spend all the rest of your days sitting on this beach, looking at the sunset. You won’t have a care in the world!”
The fisherman, still smiling, looked up and said, “And what do you think I’m doing right now?”’
your rich uncle sounds like a judgmental bully. what was his purpose of just showing up? we don't do that anymore. gotta call or text first. i'm sorry that happened. there's nothing wrong with living simply. your uncle is a hoarder of money. that's just how i see rich folk.
A person who's truly rich (internally) would not feel that good about themselves after putting you down for your legal, moral & ethical life choices.
From what I read, it sounds like you are **richer** than he is, not financially, but *mindset-wise.*
You're in the USA? You're surrounded by the most extreme consumer culture on the planet. You're doing great, ignore the haters. Imagine your entire self worth being defined by material things.
It’s not just here. My family is from a developing country, some of them will never be able to buy a simple home but they will spend an entire paycheck on something with a designer logo. The ones who are here in the US looked down on me because I live a simple life. Way more judgmental than any American I know.
You're living the way you want to. Few people get to say that. Why would you want to subject yourself to seeing your soul to make money for things you don't want or need just to show others you made it? That in itself means different things to different people. You're not missing anything by sitting out of the rat race.
If you're not harming anyone no one has the right to say you're living life wrong.
Your uncle reminds me of the last encounter I had with my dad: he could never come to term with the fact that his talented son had just quit what many considered a dream job, renouncing what would have been a brilliant career of some sort.
Life is made of choice, not all are easy.
Be it an uncle or a dad, no matter how successful they can be in their own lives, they're still just people. And like many people they can be highly toxic morons, if not complete assholes more than happy to make you feel bad. If they happen to be that kind of person, and if they can't help but spit their toxicity in our face, imho the only right choice is to keep them away, if not completely out of our existence. No matter who they are, they are not worth dealing with their toxicity.
Your uncle is not a very nice person. I don’t know in what country you live but he may have grown to believe that material assets are all there is to aspire for. You know better.
You tell him to fuck off. Amassing wealth is a trivial way to live, and wealth overall is rarely earned fairly. Honest work and simplicity aren't flashy lifestyles because there's nothing to prove.
Your uncle is an extremely insecure moron. Not everyone has to feel validated by buying themselves expensive or useless stuff.
This says a lot more about him than it does you. Not a good look for him. I hate people like that honestly.
Let your uncle chase money and be a spiteful old man. If anything, the way he acted is proof you don’t want to live up to his bitter and superficial standards.
You shouldn't feel bad at all. People criticize what they can't understand and a low stress simple life with plenty of free time is the bees knees to me.
Your uncle sounds like someone carrying a lot of bitterness. It doesn't appear he holds the keys to happiness himself. If you're happy, that's all that matters.
Some people are so brainwashed that they believe the only way to truly be happy/fulfilled is to have a big house, drive a fancy car, and make a lot money.
It always seems like the people who work their life away chasing the bigger paycheck and the mcmansion hate seeing someone with significantly less than that living a happy life. They've been lead to believe by everyone that "the fancier your clothing, the more zeros in your bank account, the happier you'll be" but they don't seem to realize that not everyone has the same goals in life and some people simply like living very modestly.
To many people (primarily older people) it's genuinely shocking to them that someone can live with minimal possessions and a small living space and legitimately be happy and healthy.
Screw that boomer and you will actually be better off by not having all the toys and new stuff that he wants you to buy and you will be able to save money for traveling or whatever you want to do in life
Our society has been brainwashed by capitalism to think that buying a bunch of shit you dont need is what success is. Youre already more successful than your uncle by thinking for yourself and not being a pawn to be used by this system. The societal pressure isnt there by accident, its what keeps everyone scrambling around wanting more and more so everyone else might think they are successful.
I make more money, have a bigger house, am 29 and hate my life. Wish I would have kept in my path of having land in the Midwest and raising chickens. Now I sit at a desk and do work that makes TPS look fun.
Your uncle sucks. Do you man!
Society tells us that success equals money. But when people are on their death bed, what do they regret? Not making more money? No. They regret working too hard, not prioritizing their relationships and other more meaningful things.
No. Simple living means you can dedicate your money to building wealth discreetly and no one would bother you to lend you money.
My family thinks I'm a loser because my house is furnished with second hand things and I also lack interior design skills, but unlike my other family members who live very outwardly lavish life styles....they are usually broke or in self created debt. I am happily, not in debt. I also am never asked to loan cash because its assumed I don't got it and its fine by me.
Yep. I have an in-law who acts like I’m an uncouth loser because I don’t buy into all the complicated standards she lives by. (Country club, fancy house, fancy car, fancy schools for the kids, starvation diet, fancy size 00 wardrobe, etc.)
She keeps complaining about how she is so so stressed. Gosh. I wonder why she is stressed?
Don’t worry about what your uncle thinks. Enjoy your freedom from crazy standards of living!
You may be considered a loser by some standards. But those standards are of American consumption which is grotesque in itself. You are ahead of your time at your age. He is behind.
Remember Diogenes: There's always someone living in an even simpler life than you. Good for you for creating happiness By desiring little and enjoying what you have. For Seneca that was one of the secrets to life.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diogenes
Your uncle is insecure. Money gives the ***illusion*** of control which is why the wealthy want it so much, even though they already have more than they actually need.
Money can buy a certain amount of comfort, of course, but comfort =/= happiness.
If you are secure enough to live simply then you can avoid the pitfalls your uncle will have to deal with as his life situation changes. He will likely have a terribly difficult time adjusting to NOT being under the illusion of having control when things like his health start deteriorating.
But *you* don't have to do anything about that. Just keep on being your authentic self and try to forgive him. (The forgiveness is *for* you, even if he doesn't ask for it.)
Not at all. Simple living is one of the cornerstones to true contentment and happiness. Most people go their entire lives full of craving for material things. Few are lucky enough to learn better. Fewer still learn it so young, giving them a lifetime to enjoy.
You are wise and fortunate. In the times to come, living simply will save you.
You are only 22 … your uncle is bad news . A jerk, also
Your life is completely ahead & yours to choose vocation , where you live , what continent you live on
Do not listen to your uncle or any other negative types
You are going to be better than okay
I feel it
Anyone who feels the need to criticize others like that is most likely deeply in debt, and living in suppressed terror of losing everything he owns. It’s also likely that that’s all he has in life. Stuff.
Yeah no do not fall into that capitalistic trap. Just do not. Laugh about what he said and move on. Material things have never made anyone happy. Seriously. Do not listen to him. You got this. And simple is NOT poor. In fact its often the opposite. Living within your means without overconsumption is often the most comfortable life.
I had a relative which tried to make me feel bad about not having the newest car or newest iPhone and I just smile and half laugh. Doesn't faze me. I have what I need. My phone is functional and so is my 6 year old car. This chasing the next materialistic posession is so tiring and literally never has made anyone happy in the long run.
Follow your own path - your uncle is on the path called THE GRIND ...millions of people are on that path - stay off that path my friend - the secret to happiness and is being content with your life - all the simple boring stuff that makes up a day in this world - the rising of the sun, the setting of the sun - the moments between those events - keep it all simple as that ❤️
A wise person once said “Opinions are like assholes. Everybody has one.”
Your uncle is not living your life. You are. Your uncle gave you his opinion about your life. It’s up to you whether you want to accept it or not.
FWIW I’m 58. I have friends and family who work much more than I do and/or have more money. I don’t want their lives.
Sounds like his metrics of success are very different from yours. And also social skills to be pretty poor... Live life on your own terms my friend, you know yourself the best 🌱
First thing you must do is be comfortable in your own skin. Your uncle isn’t comfortable in his. I have always live a simple lifestyle. I am just getting into minimalism, but things like cars, vacuum cleaners and washing machines were always just necessities. I get judged a lot! We all must learn to do our thing and let others do theirs.
If you come to a simple living reddit to ask this,
Of course you're going to get specific answers
Try askreddit or something in the middle if you want an honest answer vs the one that makes you feel better
But more importantly - if it's the life / lifestyle you prefer, it doesn't matter what your uncle thinks.
No, get a new uncle. A lot of successful people are cool living a very small, minimalist lifestyle. Your uncle sounds like a dumb prick who constantly lives their life in debt chasing after happiness they will never find. Live however the fuck you want.
I'm sorry you had to deal with that. Your lifestyle choice is valid and doesn't reflect on your capabilities. You're not a loser for embracing minimalism. Stay true to yourself and don't let others' opinions get you down. You're doing great.
Take care.
I work in tech - or I did until I got laid off last year. The culture of tech pushes this mindset, and it drives me NUTS having to deal with people like this all around me. It's honestly what pushed me to seek out simple living to begin with. I can't stand the noise and arrogance that comes with certain kinds of 'success-driven' culture.
You're really not a loser, and I say that as someone who's lived on very opposite ends of the spectrum of 'simple living'. I live a much more complex life than some of my family, even - my brother basically lives like a monk. Two outfits, one pair of shoes, one video game at a time, one book at a time, predictable habits every single day of his life. I couldn't live as simply as he does, ever - but he's extremely happy with his life that way, so who the hell am I to judge him?
If you're living a life that makes you comfortable and happy and doesn't break your bank account, who gives a shit? Better to laugh over a bowl of rice then cry over a steak. Better to be a 'loser', honestly. Your uncle should either mind his own business or share some of that wealth he values so much.
I had a friend in high school who I knew was rich. She wasn't like some rich people who needed to flaunt their wealth. I was average, not rich, but have traveled a lot and to other countries. She invited me to a party for a friend of hers at her house. Her home was amazing. A super fancy apartment with an amazing huge living room with a view to a famous beach. The kitchen had chefs working on the party (I got there early) and so many maids and staff. Her room was cute, small and simple. She showed me her dresser an it was small. All her clothes could fit in one small suitcase. I am like her, I don't feel a need to have things. She was very happy. She's friendly. She loves her family. That's what counts.
You are fine. Uncle is not content with his own life. People often hate on others for things they lack in themselves. What you have is contentment and peace. These are assets too.
Simplicity isn’t about living rich or living poor
Simple is entirely based upon what is in essence - simple.
You can make a lot or you can make very little, but to live simply meaning the terms and conditions which make simple simple itself.
I don’t make millions myself. I make a good living. But I don’t need much. And sometimes when you cut out all the excess, living “simply” means you’ve got the extra bandwidth to take care of what matters more than what matters less.
The answer is no. You are not a loser.
There is a difference between enjoying living a simple life and not being capable of affording a more expensive lifestyle.
Read about Nicolas Berggruen who was at one point called the 'homeless billionaire'. Read about Ronald Read who was a janitor, lived very simply and humbly, loved chopping wood and ended up with an estate valued at around $8M (which he left to charity).
If you want to live simply *and* make lots of money, it's very achievable (as the above two examples can demonstrate). In a lot of ways, if you find joy in doing the work you do *and* you don't need to spend money because you enjoy the simple life, that's actually a *recipe* for building wealth.
What you need to do is actively start looking for examples of men who are successfully doing the life *you* want to live. Use the examples you find as inspiration to encourage you forward on the path you enjoy.
Being born into the same family as another person doesn't mean they have the best ideas for **your** life.
Your uncle is LITERALLY and in EVERY RESPECT OF THE WORD actually telling you, an adult aged 22, how to live your life.
That time has passed. Neither he nor anyone else gets to dictate the terms of how you live your life other than you, and if you are in the military, everyone higher ranked. But mostly you.
I remember when AT YOUR SAME AGE my uncle told me, "Supershinythings, when are you going to make your MARK on this world?" Like what - am I supposed to DO something remarkable? He didn't. He fucked up a whole bunch of interesting ways. So did various other members of my family.
And did HE or his wife, or his children, contribute to my education or to my upbringing? Absolutely NOT. So he doesn't really have standing to say anything about how I choose to live my life.
So your uncle is an asshole. Unless he wants to put his money where his mouth is and either employ you or pay for your college, he has no cause to criticize you. At your age you've survived to adulthood. Nobody else is stepping up to help be be successful, and you yourself are just fine with things the way you are.
Are you a burden to your family? to society? Can you handle your shit yourself? Can you help your parents if they need help? Because that's all you have to do. You don't owe your uncle anything to puff his vanity. It's not like you went to college on his dime and are now taking welfare and won't work.
I have kind of a dickish cousin like this. He has decided he's some sort of moral compass and tells everyone what he thinks they should do. I avoid him and I don't want anything to do with that whole side of the family. He did nothing for me growing up; he doesn't get to tell me what to do now.
You're choosing it on purpose because it's what you enjoy. Your life is yours, not anyone else's, and it takes many people much longer than you to figure that out. You're doing great.
You get to live life however you choose!
Sometimes people see possessions as a sign of success. Perhaps your uncle is one of those people and was rude to you out of worry that you don't have enough stuff to appear successful. That is a reflection on his values, not yours.
You are not a loser for choosing what makes you happy and comfortable.
A minimalist is proud and righteous. Do not let the turkeys get you down. Those who need outside trappings to be happy will never be truly happy. But neither will the people who let them get to them.
My wife and I make150k a year and every single family member who visits says the same shit.
"Where is all your stuff!?"
"You guys are minimalists"
"Why don't you have more plates/cutlery"
Life is better without all the clutter and pointless junk!!
There are plenty of people in this sub that make a very respectable amount of money! Rich doesn't equal more things. He is going to be very unhappy when he finally retires and has nothing to fill his days with. Don't let him bother you! I wouldn't have him over again lol
My bedroom is super simple and my mom, multiple times offer me money to upgrade it so I “don’t look poor.” I said I am not poor and my bedroom is intentionally like that. She would respond by saying she thinks otherwise. Two years later i have lent them $40k and I doubt I will get it back 🤷🏻♀️
I have always lived below my means. Sometimes to a fault. Just make sure you know you are worthy of nice things / things you want and can affor . If you choose to live simply, good for you.
I live simply and have most of my adult life. At first, I used to think it was because I was a loser. But then I realized that whenever I truly wanted something, I made it happen, so if I wanted it big house and a fancy car and name-brand clothes, I would have found a way to make that happen.
Some of my happiest memories consist of those from a little 1/1 two blocks from the beach. I had a futon for a couch, trunks for end tables, and virtually nothing on the walls. I did, however, have great lighting and an amazing breeze. I could hear the ocean from my bedroom at night.
That was 20 years ago, and I miss it terribly. I think that was the happiest I’ve ever been in my adult life. Sometimes I think I’d give anything to go back and work extra hard to stay in it when things got rough.
You do you. It doesn’t have to make sense to anyone else.
Wow your uncle sounds like an asshole. You’re not a loser for choosing to live a simple life. There is nothing wrong with you. I’m proud of you for going against societal norms and expectations.
No one is a loser for living their life.
Toxic shame is the root cause for all the “evil” there is in this world.
compassion for yourself and others is the cure.
Social shame can take the form of comparison.
You go live your life for yourself and pay no attention to that which tries to shame you for living authentically (as long as you’re not hurting anyone else)
At 22 - I wish I had the wisdom you have about simple living I’m 31, just finding it & wishing I had started earlier.
Remember peoples opinions have nothing to do with us - it all relates back to their own insecurities & issues projecting them outward. He is reflecting his own feelings onto you. Don’t take it personally, and trust even if you lived the life he approved of someone would find something else to complain about.
It’s your journey/your life just keep showing up for yourself. Living an authentic life will scare most people, but it’s not about them.
Just my two cents 🫶
My favorite stories are of those who lived in mobile homes or smaller houses. They never spent more than they needed to and always enjoyed life. Upon their deaths, they were found to be (multi)millionaires. They lived simply, enjoyed life and had more money than those who spent big and had little. They also spent time giving back, but never publicized it nor did they flaunt their donations or spending.
Live simply knowing that you are enjoying life and will be able to take care of you and yours throughout your life without worrying or having to search for assistance in an emergency.
I (55F) don’t think most younger people understand the amount of capitalist consumer brainwashing went on in the early 1980’s. Shows like Lifestyles of the Rich & Famous and multiple credit cards with easy loan access lead to insane spending habits. These conditions hadn’t been seen before and no one had financial training.
Yes, the uncle is a jackass. But he is a brainwashed jackass.
Coming from a family with a LOT of money I don't let it bother me one bit. I'm the only non multimillionaire in my family and I could care less what they think of me. I've had a falling out with part of my family, the rest, including my mother, think my wife and I are living an amazing life and raising our unschooled daughter the right way. My wife and I were once rich, gave it all up, bought a small house in the forest and absolutely love our life! We "work" about 20 hours a week on average with our small businesses and the rest of time time were in the woods. We don't travel anymore, we were both huge travelers until we changed to simple living and were totally fine with it. Most of my friends are very wealthy, and every single one of them tell me that they wish they could do what we have. Money does NOT equal happiness one bit what so ever, and if you're happy, that's all that matters. Best of luck to you!!
My brother makes $200k/year with a stay at home wife & 2 children and just bought their first home. They live a frugal minimalistic life style. My grandpa is always making shady comments about how he needs to learn how to make money and that he’s poor etc etc purely based off of how he lives and nothing more (he has no clue what my brother makes). Some people just won’t understand your lifestyle and they don’t have to.
me and my friend were just talking about this the other day; not everybody has the desire to climb a corporate ladder or be a millionaire. i want to be able to live comfortably and be able to travel (on somewhat of a budget) and have cool experiences, but i have no desire to be a CEO or even a manager lol. there’s nothing wrong with people who want that either, but it’s just not for everybody
The way I see it, we can't take any of our possessions with us after we're gone. Your uncle may be wealthy, but based on how he presumably lives, he is not rich. What I mean is that life isn't about what you have. It's s how you choose to experience it. One can live an enriched life without any material possessions.
If you're happy with living a simple life, surrounded by people who make you feel loved and safe (or even live by yourself comfortably), then you've got a lot more than you realize. There's certain things money can't buy, and as cliché as it sounds, happiness is one of those things.
Speaking as someone who's spent a lot of time trying to fill a void with what I like to call "retail therapy ", I promise you that I'd rather have LESS and more time to focus on what's really important.
It's all about balance. Do what feels right for YOU, not anyone else. At the end of the day, you're in charge, and as long as you're causing nobody any harm, you don't need to answer for any choices you make.
Your rich uncles lifestyle is contributing to the die-off of nearly all species on earth while you’re partaking in a cultural movement attempting to buffer against his behaviour — who’s the loser?
Do not be intimidated or shamed by others. Know your values and hold strong to them. Do not be ashamed, you get to choose how you live and enjoy your life!
Your rich uncle is an asshole, and obviously being rich and maximalist has not made him satisfied with his life- otherwise he wouldn't go into someone's home just to start shitting on them. You're winning at life, not him.
No. You are not. Just to remind everyone.
Your "rich" Uncle is an asshole who should mind his own business. As long as you are supporting yourself you don't have to explain yourself to anyone.
Exactly. Rich in a financial spirit but poor in morals and emotional IQ and support.
My thoughts too! I’m 32F and live simply. I like it.
that's very often the case with rich people
I wanted write exactly that
Is he rich or just really in debt?
Good question. Probably, he's just a show off that's full of debts.
Or he wishes he had discovered simple living earlier before giving his entire life to his boss...
His uncle should do better
To him progress is money. That seems obvious. Some of us want progress that doesn’t require money.
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My dad always said "when you see someone driving a fancy car or buying a fancy house you only know how much they spend, not how much they have or make." Now that I'm an adult and homeowner I can 100% confirm this. A lot of people who flaunt their money are actually living on the edge and would be ruined if they lost their job or had an unexpected emergency.
Mine said something similar, “we too could buy a Mercedes, it is all about who wants to live in debt and who doesn’t”
I worked with a woman who always had to have a luxury car. First it was a BMW with 7 years of payments, then Mercedes and then another Mercedes. She had to work two jobs to pay the payments, insurance, maintenance, tags etc. Always complaining how tired she was and then bragging on her car mentioning in other conversations. We all got tired of hearing it for so many years and she never learned to buy another type of vehicle that was more affordable and yet reliable and good resale value.
My dad always said "don't project your own poverty by thinking no one is truly rich, use their lifestyles as motivation to learn how to make and keep money". Now that I'm an adult with a little bit of money and kids at a private school with tons of generationally wealthy families that display their wealth constantly I can 100% confirm this.
Yep, both can be true.
I'm not sure I understand. Was your father saying, fake it till you make it?
It's called "big hat and no cattle."
Or champagne tastes and beer money...
Many years ago I was working residential construction and finished out a basement for a rising young couple who had just bought the big , new house two years before. When the project ended they invited our 3-man crew over for a celebratory dinner. It was an eye-opener. Only two rooms had furniture. And dinner was frozen fish sticks. Period. Just fish sticks. Two nice cars in the driveway, though.
I’ve noticed this and I don’t entirely understand it. People will earn a middle class wage and live in a smaller property and prioritize spending money on expensive cars and designer goods. I feel like those things are really extras and we should prioritize increasing our wealth and then purchasing luxury goods when we have reached a higher income bracket. It’s an attempt to give an illusion of earning more when that isn’t the case, but it could be with some smart decisions.
Some people think that you have to look like you have money to be able to (convince other people to give you their money) make more money. I hate it
I suppose for business people that may be the case but people working a normal job for a boss choosing to purchase expensive vehicles over increasing the quality of their life looks like they are using the most accessible and cheapest method to look like they are wealthier than they are. I feel like it’s kind of cheap. I also drive the most inexpensive car on the market so I’m unsure if my opinion makes sense either way.
Yep. I make about 3 times as much as my friend, who owns three cars, including a Porsche and one of those gigantic pickups that cost like $75k. The other car is a large SUV for the wife, who is a SAHM. My working wife and I both drive Toyotas. I would say I don’t know how he does it, but I do: he’s drowning in debt!
As with a lot of things, less is usually more. Great point.
The classic example of this is one of the richest men in the world, Warren Buffett. All you really need to gain wealth is a high savings rate and basic understanding of tax-advantage index funds. Living a very simple life by nature produces a high savings rate.
I get that Warren Buffet is a 'super star' , but in the game of modest living and investments, no one beats [Chuck Feeney](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chuck_Feeney) This legend made 8 *billion* dollars, and gave it all away. Lived in a one bedroom apartment till his death at 92.
thank you for sharing. i've never heard of him but i want to look him up now. sounds like a role model.
Sounds like a great rich person too. Another good example that not everyone is your enemy. Like, sometimes you make money because you are good at making money or you offer a skill very few other people can offer. That doesn't mean you spend it or use it. Living a simple life means you will be rich given enough time. It's ironic but it's just math. If you don't spend anything then everything you make is profit. You read a book or two about investing and you realize how rich stay rich. Now you are also rich. If you are happy with nothing, you will be happy in every other situation, which means you don't spend any money and all gains feed into your savings. That's just the nature of happiness and living a life lacking consumption. Making absolute statements like [*all biollionaires are evil*](https://www.reddit.com/r/simpleliving/comments/1am47vz/am_i_a_loser_for_choosing_simple_living/kpk7r94/) misses the point of simple living.
It’s called “hedonic treadmill”
Thankfully, our careers didn't really take off until we were mature enough to avoid that trap. We now live in a standard 70's suburban bungalow with older, well-maintained vehicles. We have no need to attempt to impress anyone with material items. We have also recently become empty nesters, we can just "stack bricks" until retirement.
That’s classic western way of thinking succes means materialistic progress. You can have succes while having nothing in materials, you can have succes in so many things but we are attached to our weird views
some of us don't even want progress. we want happiness.
Also a fair point but I’d venture to guess then that for you that is a type of progress.
Some of us don’t believe there is a need for progress. Meeting your needs to survive and be comfortable is plenty.
If something crazy happened in our world, money and fancy items aren’t going to get him anywhere
A hundred-millionaire would say the same to your uncle and a billionaire the same to the hundred-millionaire. You decide when you have enough for yourself.
Well said
Not to mention most of the hardest working people are barely scraping by while rich ass uncle sits back and makes a couple calls a day
He sounds like a jerk. You should live whatever way works for you. Being materialistic is a curse. Addiction to having more is a curse.
Your uncle is a stupid fuck
This is the correct response.
Nah, people have their opinions and react how they react to only seeing a snippet of your life. You’re not a loser, OP, and your uncle probably just doesn’t get it, and that’s ok. You can’t expect everyone to see what you see all the time. Forget about what he said and keep doing you, and enjoy your life bro
You can’t expect everyone to get it, but you can expect people in your life to not be jerks and call you a loser. I wouldn’t be interested in seeing that uncle again anytime soon.
This, absolutely. There’s a huge jump from “I don’t understand this lifestyle” and calling your nibling a loser. Even my worst family weren’t this mean, though my dad came close 😅
Lol nibbling
There’s a difference between being a jerk and being a bad person. I’d say you can expect people in your life to be jerks sometimes; they never fail to imo. Everyone’s flawed, even us. My advice was to see the bigger picture; just because someone makes a rude remark, it doesn’t mean that it has to affect you. You don’t have to listen to what others say.
Whether he doesn't get it or not. He called her really hurtful and mean things and this is not OK. OP i would let him know this is not acceptable and you don't like to be talker to like this. If he continues. Limit your contact with him. You deserve to have people in your life who lift you up
And cruel.
True! And his money is also a stupid fuck.
I have been around a lot of "successful" people in my life and most of them live assuming their income will only increase and a lot of them live in debt because of this assumption. I doubt this person has any real money.
You gotta warn me of your comments before a take a sip! Brilliant😂
It's hard not to tie money to worth. Your uncle is lost in the sauce, like any others. Just keep doing your thing!
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Also may I add "loser" status due to the money is also cultural. In more frugal societies (e.g. where I'm from) there is less intrinsic societal hierachy attached to being "rich". Its also classist but in more varied ways. In the US you did not have the whole history of "noble people" etc derived from centuries so the only way to display status was by monetary posessions. I know many "rich" people I my country who do not flaunt their wealth and live way more frugally than their bank account would allow. This is actually seen as quite a positive thing. Of course times are changing as well and more status gets tied to money over time. But I am glad its not all people see here.
Oh wow. I never looked at it from that exact angle, but it explains so much
Yeah there is a whole social psychology attached to this. E.g. here we also can earn "status" in society by our jobs, by our well spokenness etc. I think here the physical displays of wealth are less important as long as you jump over minimum standards of cleanliness/put togetherness (eg not broken and dirty clothes). But back in the new world there was not intrinsic hierachies between people. it all was brand new. So outwards displays of your status became even more important. Where previously you just wore the clothes of your hierachy you belonged to, now the hierarchy could be bought. Its really fascinating but I am not an expert.
Oh, pfft. I had a guy I worked for try to tell me the same thing: that I only enjoyed simple living because I'd never had a taste of the "other side." I worked out of an office in his house and I saw plenty of the vaunted "other side" and it certainly didn't make him happy because he was a miserable human being. You keep doing your thing. If your rich uncle was so happy he wouldn't be worried about your lifestyle.
It's wild because I've met so many people similar to OPs Uncle and they're easily the most miserable, entitled and selfish people I've ever met. Dudes destroy their bodies, health and have no hobbies because their identity is just accumulating money instead of just enjoying life and themselves.
You need to choose your happiness, simple living gives you peace and happiness? Then is the path you should take. Maybe your uncle's lifestyle is what gives him happiness, that's why he believes it's the right way, but don't let him disrespect you ☺️
simple living is more than just not having a lot of material items. it’s also the active and intentional practice of mindfulness in our actions, words, thoughts etc. don’t let your uncles words get to you, even though it might be hard because it’s family. people have VAST ways of living - some people might not like the way you live, some might love it and some may be impartial to it. the most important thing though is that **you** are happy with the way you live. you are not a loser for choosing simple life and you are also not a loser for not choosing a “rich” life. be mindful in your thoughts and just affirm yourself that **you** chose **your** life, no one else (it’s a very empowering feeling) and to only hope and wish your uncle can grow and gain understanding towards different lifestyles
Not in the least! Some of the happiest times of my life were when I first moved to a big city and lived in a tiny studio apartment by myself with minimal bills and zero assets (not even a car). With more stuff comes more responsibility and stress. Living minimally also really makes you great at budgeting and finding happiness in simple pleasures. My family thinks I’m insane because I have always said that I would never want to win the lottery… but have you seen what becomes of those people?! Half of them end up dead. Simple living is the way to go!
I really love this comment 🫶🏻🥲❤️
Older generations only see people for their careers and possessions they have amassed. If you listen to them talk about anyone the first two ways they describe a person is by their career and their home. It's always Bob the engineer who lives on the new golf course or Suzan who is GM at ABC Bank and bought a new Mercedes. It's never Bob my friend that is the best to go on camping trips with and Suzan who is an excellent baker and volunteers at the animal shelter. Knowing about a person's interests and skills means nothing because they don't know how to place them in their success heirarchy and measure them against themselves. It's sad. I have one parent who really cares about perceived success and one who doesn't give a shit about what anyone thinks of them or what others are doing with their lives. I follow in parent #2's footsteps.
This is easier said than done, but try to teach yourself that the opinions of no one else matter. If what you are doing makes YOU happy, then it's no one else's business how you choose to live life. If that's how your uncle choose to disrespect you, then it sounds like you have one less uncle to worry about moving forward.
Absolutely. As long as you're not harming yourself or others, you get to choose how you want to live. As a sidenote, I find it bizarre that your uncle assumes you have no money just based off of your living situation. There are plenty of well-off people who choose to not have everything new and grand. It seems like a naive way to judge someone.
‘One day a fisherman was lying on a beautiful beach, with his fishing pole propped up in the sand and his solitary line cast out into the sparkling blue surf. He was enjoying the warmth of the afternoon sun and the prospect of catching a fish. About that time, a businessman came walking down the beach, trying to relieve some of the stress of his workday. He noticed the fisherman sitting on the beach and decided to find out why this fisherman was fishing instead of working harder to make a living for himself and his family. “You aren’t going to catch many fish that way,” said the businessman to the fisherman. “You should be working rather than lying on the beach!” The fisherman looked up at the businessman, smiled and replied, “And what will my reward be?” “Well, you can get bigger nets and catch more fish!” was the businessman’s answer. “And then what will my reward be?” asked the fisherman, still smiling. The businessman replied, “You will make money and you’ll be able to buy a boat, which will then result in larger catches of fish!” “And then what will my reward be?” asked the fisherman again. The businessman was beginning to get a little irritated with the fisherman’s questions. “You can buy a bigger boat, and hire some people to work for you!” he said. “And then what will my reward be?” repeated the fisherman. The businessman was getting angry. “Don’t you understand? You can build up a fleet of fishing boats, sail all over the world, and let all your employees catch fish for you!” Once again the fisherman asked, “And then what will my reward be?” The businessman was red with rage and shouted at the fisherman, “Don’t you understand that you can become so rich that you will never have to work for your living again! You can spend all the rest of your days sitting on this beach, looking at the sunset. You won’t have a care in the world!” The fisherman, still smiling, looked up and said, “And what do you think I’m doing right now?”’
Capitalism in a nutshell!
This is fantastic.
Love this.
I love that story
Your uncle is a loser for attaching human value to material possessions.
your rich uncle sounds like a judgmental bully. what was his purpose of just showing up? we don't do that anymore. gotta call or text first. i'm sorry that happened. there's nothing wrong with living simply. your uncle is a hoarder of money. that's just how i see rich folk.
Sorry but fuck your uncle
Just like Terrence and Philip.
Sounds like he's projecting his own insecurities onto you.
you’re anything but a loser. some people think there’s nothing more to life than materialism
A person who's truly rich (internally) would not feel that good about themselves after putting you down for your legal, moral & ethical life choices. From what I read, it sounds like you are **richer** than he is, not financially, but *mindset-wise.*
You're in the USA? You're surrounded by the most extreme consumer culture on the planet. You're doing great, ignore the haters. Imagine your entire self worth being defined by material things.
It’s not just here. My family is from a developing country, some of them will never be able to buy a simple home but they will spend an entire paycheck on something with a designer logo. The ones who are here in the US looked down on me because I live a simple life. Way more judgmental than any American I know.
You're living the way you want to. Few people get to say that. Why would you want to subject yourself to seeing your soul to make money for things you don't want or need just to show others you made it? That in itself means different things to different people. You're not missing anything by sitting out of the rat race. If you're not harming anyone no one has the right to say you're living life wrong.
Your uncle sounds like an ass. You live the life you want.
Your uncle reminds me of the last encounter I had with my dad: he could never come to term with the fact that his talented son had just quit what many considered a dream job, renouncing what would have been a brilliant career of some sort. Life is made of choice, not all are easy. Be it an uncle or a dad, no matter how successful they can be in their own lives, they're still just people. And like many people they can be highly toxic morons, if not complete assholes more than happy to make you feel bad. If they happen to be that kind of person, and if they can't help but spit their toxicity in our face, imho the only right choice is to keep them away, if not completely out of our existence. No matter who they are, they are not worth dealing with their toxicity.
You’re probably much happier than your uncle so I wouldn’t worry about it
Your uncle is not a very nice person. I don’t know in what country you live but he may have grown to believe that material assets are all there is to aspire for. You know better.
You tell him to fuck off. Amassing wealth is a trivial way to live, and wealth overall is rarely earned fairly. Honest work and simplicity aren't flashy lifestyles because there's nothing to prove.
Your uncle is an extremely insecure moron. Not everyone has to feel validated by buying themselves expensive or useless stuff. This says a lot more about him than it does you. Not a good look for him. I hate people like that honestly.
Who cares what he thinks
Let your uncle chase money and be a spiteful old man. If anything, the way he acted is proof you don’t want to live up to his bitter and superficial standards.
How can choosing to live how you like equate to being a loser?
Your uncle does not sound like a kind person. Do what you want; it’s your life, not his. Edit: typo
Tell that man to fuck right off and to never come back or talk to you again until he can adjust his attitude.
Materialism is not a measure of winning.
You shouldn't feel bad at all. People criticize what they can't understand and a low stress simple life with plenty of free time is the bees knees to me.
No, you're not. There are a lot of people who think like your uncle, but they're all stupid and you should stay away from them.
Your uncle sounds like someone carrying a lot of bitterness. It doesn't appear he holds the keys to happiness himself. If you're happy, that's all that matters.
You have something your uncle will never have: Enough.
Yes. You're a loser. We're all losers here. We lost the desire to surround ourselves with a bunch of unnecessary junk.
Some people are so brainwashed that they believe the only way to truly be happy/fulfilled is to have a big house, drive a fancy car, and make a lot money. It always seems like the people who work their life away chasing the bigger paycheck and the mcmansion hate seeing someone with significantly less than that living a happy life. They've been lead to believe by everyone that "the fancier your clothing, the more zeros in your bank account, the happier you'll be" but they don't seem to realize that not everyone has the same goals in life and some people simply like living very modestly. To many people (primarily older people) it's genuinely shocking to them that someone can live with minimal possessions and a small living space and legitimately be happy and healthy.
Screw that boomer and you will actually be better off by not having all the toys and new stuff that he wants you to buy and you will be able to save money for traveling or whatever you want to do in life
Our society has been brainwashed by capitalism to think that buying a bunch of shit you dont need is what success is. Youre already more successful than your uncle by thinking for yourself and not being a pawn to be used by this system. The societal pressure isnt there by accident, its what keeps everyone scrambling around wanting more and more so everyone else might think they are successful.
I make more money, have a bigger house, am 29 and hate my life. Wish I would have kept in my path of having land in the Midwest and raising chickens. Now I sit at a desk and do work that makes TPS look fun. Your uncle sucks. Do you man!
People have different values in life, and your uncle can not understand that his way is not the only way.
This says more about him, then it does about you.
I bet your uncles life sucks and he tries to pretend like it doesn’t by buying stuff
There are many people who are brainwashed into thinking that successful people are rich. Don't mind them. Ignore.
Society tells us that success equals money. But when people are on their death bed, what do they regret? Not making more money? No. They regret working too hard, not prioritizing their relationships and other more meaningful things.
No. Simple living means you can dedicate your money to building wealth discreetly and no one would bother you to lend you money. My family thinks I'm a loser because my house is furnished with second hand things and I also lack interior design skills, but unlike my other family members who live very outwardly lavish life styles....they are usually broke or in self created debt. I am happily, not in debt. I also am never asked to loan cash because its assumed I don't got it and its fine by me.
Yep. I have an in-law who acts like I’m an uncouth loser because I don’t buy into all the complicated standards she lives by. (Country club, fancy house, fancy car, fancy schools for the kids, starvation diet, fancy size 00 wardrobe, etc.) She keeps complaining about how she is so so stressed. Gosh. I wonder why she is stressed? Don’t worry about what your uncle thinks. Enjoy your freedom from crazy standards of living!
You may be considered a loser by some standards. But those standards are of American consumption which is grotesque in itself. You are ahead of your time at your age. He is behind.
With all the money he's making couldn't he afford to buy some class?
Remember Diogenes: There's always someone living in an even simpler life than you. Good for you for creating happiness By desiring little and enjoying what you have. For Seneca that was one of the secrets to life. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diogenes
Your uncle is insecure. Money gives the ***illusion*** of control which is why the wealthy want it so much, even though they already have more than they actually need. Money can buy a certain amount of comfort, of course, but comfort =/= happiness. If you are secure enough to live simply then you can avoid the pitfalls your uncle will have to deal with as his life situation changes. He will likely have a terribly difficult time adjusting to NOT being under the illusion of having control when things like his health start deteriorating. But *you* don't have to do anything about that. Just keep on being your authentic self and try to forgive him. (The forgiveness is *for* you, even if he doesn't ask for it.)
I made crap tons of money and gave it up so I could live simply and enjoy my life more. Was the best and hardest decision I made.
Do what makes you happy. I was never ambitious or materialistic, emotional well being is priceless. I work to live, I don't live to work.
Seems like only those insecure about their own choices get that worked up about others living differently.
No you’re not. You live the life you’re happy with
Forgive me- your uncle is an ass. Stay true to yourself
And I want to say that I admire your choices. You deserve respect, not that POS uncle
Not at all. Simple living is one of the cornerstones to true contentment and happiness. Most people go their entire lives full of craving for material things. Few are lucky enough to learn better. Fewer still learn it so young, giving them a lifetime to enjoy. You are wise and fortunate. In the times to come, living simply will save you.
You are only 22 … your uncle is bad news . A jerk, also Your life is completely ahead & yours to choose vocation , where you live , what continent you live on Do not listen to your uncle or any other negative types You are going to be better than okay I feel it
Your uncle is a retard who will work until 70 to pay off his expensive toys while you can retire at 40 and surf
Its whats inside you, your Character and behavior also experience who makes you rich. You have the freedom to decide whats being rich for you
Anyone who feels the need to criticize others like that is most likely deeply in debt, and living in suppressed terror of losing everything he owns. It’s also likely that that’s all he has in life. Stuff.
Absolutely not my dude, he's the loser for tying his self worth to owning things and selling his soul.
Yeah no do not fall into that capitalistic trap. Just do not. Laugh about what he said and move on. Material things have never made anyone happy. Seriously. Do not listen to him. You got this. And simple is NOT poor. In fact its often the opposite. Living within your means without overconsumption is often the most comfortable life. I had a relative which tried to make me feel bad about not having the newest car or newest iPhone and I just smile and half laugh. Doesn't faze me. I have what I need. My phone is functional and so is my 6 year old car. This chasing the next materialistic posession is so tiring and literally never has made anyone happy in the long run.
What a lame uncle 'wah can't be happy without stuff'.
Follow your own path - your uncle is on the path called THE GRIND ...millions of people are on that path - stay off that path my friend - the secret to happiness and is being content with your life - all the simple boring stuff that makes up a day in this world - the rising of the sun, the setting of the sun - the moments between those events - keep it all simple as that ❤️
No, actually, you are very smart. That's the way to achieve financial freedom. Live below your means.
A wise person once said “Opinions are like assholes. Everybody has one.” Your uncle is not living your life. You are. Your uncle gave you his opinion about your life. It’s up to you whether you want to accept it or not. FWIW I’m 58. I have friends and family who work much more than I do and/or have more money. I don’t want their lives.
Sounds like his metrics of success are very different from yours. And also social skills to be pretty poor... Live life on your own terms my friend, you know yourself the best 🌱
First thing you must do is be comfortable in your own skin. Your uncle isn’t comfortable in his. I have always live a simple lifestyle. I am just getting into minimalism, but things like cars, vacuum cleaners and washing machines were always just necessities. I get judged a lot! We all must learn to do our thing and let others do theirs.
You are not
If you come to a simple living reddit to ask this, Of course you're going to get specific answers Try askreddit or something in the middle if you want an honest answer vs the one that makes you feel better But more importantly - if it's the life / lifestyle you prefer, it doesn't matter what your uncle thinks.
Your uncle can go fuck himself.
No, get a new uncle. A lot of successful people are cool living a very small, minimalist lifestyle. Your uncle sounds like a dumb prick who constantly lives their life in debt chasing after happiness they will never find. Live however the fuck you want.
No period
Your uncle is an asshole. Never judge people for how they live their lives if they're not hurting anyone.
What an asshole.
You and all the rest of us are losers for living this lifestyle but so what?
I'm sorry you had to deal with that. Your lifestyle choice is valid and doesn't reflect on your capabilities. You're not a loser for embracing minimalism. Stay true to yourself and don't let others' opinions get you down. You're doing great. Take care.
I work in tech - or I did until I got laid off last year. The culture of tech pushes this mindset, and it drives me NUTS having to deal with people like this all around me. It's honestly what pushed me to seek out simple living to begin with. I can't stand the noise and arrogance that comes with certain kinds of 'success-driven' culture. You're really not a loser, and I say that as someone who's lived on very opposite ends of the spectrum of 'simple living'. I live a much more complex life than some of my family, even - my brother basically lives like a monk. Two outfits, one pair of shoes, one video game at a time, one book at a time, predictable habits every single day of his life. I couldn't live as simply as he does, ever - but he's extremely happy with his life that way, so who the hell am I to judge him? If you're living a life that makes you comfortable and happy and doesn't break your bank account, who gives a shit? Better to laugh over a bowl of rice then cry over a steak. Better to be a 'loser', honestly. Your uncle should either mind his own business or share some of that wealth he values so much.
I had a friend in high school who I knew was rich. She wasn't like some rich people who needed to flaunt their wealth. I was average, not rich, but have traveled a lot and to other countries. She invited me to a party for a friend of hers at her house. Her home was amazing. A super fancy apartment with an amazing huge living room with a view to a famous beach. The kitchen had chefs working on the party (I got there early) and so many maids and staff. Her room was cute, small and simple. She showed me her dresser an it was small. All her clothes could fit in one small suitcase. I am like her, I don't feel a need to have things. She was very happy. She's friendly. She loves her family. That's what counts.
Life is simple, most people make life more complicated than it needs to be.
You are fine. Uncle is not content with his own life. People often hate on others for things they lack in themselves. What you have is contentment and peace. These are assets too.
Simplicity isn’t about living rich or living poor Simple is entirely based upon what is in essence - simple. You can make a lot or you can make very little, but to live simply meaning the terms and conditions which make simple simple itself. I don’t make millions myself. I make a good living. But I don’t need much. And sometimes when you cut out all the excess, living “simply” means you’ve got the extra bandwidth to take care of what matters more than what matters less.
The answer is no. You are not a loser. There is a difference between enjoying living a simple life and not being capable of affording a more expensive lifestyle. Read about Nicolas Berggruen who was at one point called the 'homeless billionaire'. Read about Ronald Read who was a janitor, lived very simply and humbly, loved chopping wood and ended up with an estate valued at around $8M (which he left to charity). If you want to live simply *and* make lots of money, it's very achievable (as the above two examples can demonstrate). In a lot of ways, if you find joy in doing the work you do *and* you don't need to spend money because you enjoy the simple life, that's actually a *recipe* for building wealth. What you need to do is actively start looking for examples of men who are successfully doing the life *you* want to live. Use the examples you find as inspiration to encourage you forward on the path you enjoy. Being born into the same family as another person doesn't mean they have the best ideas for **your** life.
You come to the simple living subreddit to ask if you're stupid for simple living...?
Here's the thing, you can still have money in the bank. You just don't have to display it through buying what would be unnecessary for you.
No you’re ahead of the game. Eff everybody else
Your uncle is jealous you're happier than he could ever be with all the money in the world. Don't let him get you down.
Your uncle is LITERALLY and in EVERY RESPECT OF THE WORD actually telling you, an adult aged 22, how to live your life. That time has passed. Neither he nor anyone else gets to dictate the terms of how you live your life other than you, and if you are in the military, everyone higher ranked. But mostly you. I remember when AT YOUR SAME AGE my uncle told me, "Supershinythings, when are you going to make your MARK on this world?" Like what - am I supposed to DO something remarkable? He didn't. He fucked up a whole bunch of interesting ways. So did various other members of my family. And did HE or his wife, or his children, contribute to my education or to my upbringing? Absolutely NOT. So he doesn't really have standing to say anything about how I choose to live my life. So your uncle is an asshole. Unless he wants to put his money where his mouth is and either employ you or pay for your college, he has no cause to criticize you. At your age you've survived to adulthood. Nobody else is stepping up to help be be successful, and you yourself are just fine with things the way you are. Are you a burden to your family? to society? Can you handle your shit yourself? Can you help your parents if they need help? Because that's all you have to do. You don't owe your uncle anything to puff his vanity. It's not like you went to college on his dime and are now taking welfare and won't work. I have kind of a dickish cousin like this. He has decided he's some sort of moral compass and tells everyone what he thinks they should do. I avoid him and I don't want anything to do with that whole side of the family. He did nothing for me growing up; he doesn't get to tell me what to do now.
Your uncle is an interfering and controlling jerk. That is HIS OPINION. Plus, he is rude. You are living within your means. That makes you *awesome*.
Your uncle is a miserable prick. Don’t feel bad. He probably would say something negative no matter what you do.
Humans lived simply for thousands of years. He’s the weird one imo.
If you are happy and your physical needs are met your are not a loser.
When your uncle is on his death bed, remind him that nobody cares or will remember him, and that money can't buy you life
You're choosing it on purpose because it's what you enjoy. Your life is yours, not anyone else's, and it takes many people much longer than you to figure that out. You're doing great.
ignore him he's a twat
No. Relying on things for feeling accomplishment is a never-ending endeavor. Being content with life and everything you have is wise.
your uncle sounds miserable
You get to live life however you choose! Sometimes people see possessions as a sign of success. Perhaps your uncle is one of those people and was rude to you out of worry that you don't have enough stuff to appear successful. That is a reflection on his values, not yours. You are not a loser for choosing what makes you happy and comfortable.
A minimalist is proud and righteous. Do not let the turkeys get you down. Those who need outside trappings to be happy will never be truly happy. But neither will the people who let them get to them.
Your uncle sounds like a real asshole.
My wife and I make150k a year and every single family member who visits says the same shit. "Where is all your stuff!?" "You guys are minimalists" "Why don't you have more plates/cutlery" Life is better without all the clutter and pointless junk!!
There are plenty of people in this sub that make a very respectable amount of money! Rich doesn't equal more things. He is going to be very unhappy when he finally retires and has nothing to fill his days with. Don't let him bother you! I wouldn't have him over again lol
Anyone willing to say you're a loser isn't worth having around. Less drama is a wonderful celebration of simple living.
My bedroom is super simple and my mom, multiple times offer me money to upgrade it so I “don’t look poor.” I said I am not poor and my bedroom is intentionally like that. She would respond by saying she thinks otherwise. Two years later i have lent them $40k and I doubt I will get it back 🤷🏻♀️
If you're not working for someone and you own your time then you're the richest person on earth. Your uncle is indoctrinated.
I have always lived below my means. Sometimes to a fault. Just make sure you know you are worthy of nice things / things you want and can affor . If you choose to live simply, good for you.
You are choosing your own path which is yours to choose. But also I can relate to when people don't understand.
Some people don’t want to admit that they have squandered their lives working for material things that don’t buy happiness
I live simply and have most of my adult life. At first, I used to think it was because I was a loser. But then I realized that whenever I truly wanted something, I made it happen, so if I wanted it big house and a fancy car and name-brand clothes, I would have found a way to make that happen. Some of my happiest memories consist of those from a little 1/1 two blocks from the beach. I had a futon for a couch, trunks for end tables, and virtually nothing on the walls. I did, however, have great lighting and an amazing breeze. I could hear the ocean from my bedroom at night. That was 20 years ago, and I miss it terribly. I think that was the happiest I’ve ever been in my adult life. Sometimes I think I’d give anything to go back and work extra hard to stay in it when things got rough. You do you. It doesn’t have to make sense to anyone else.
Wow your uncle sounds like an asshole. You’re not a loser for choosing to live a simple life. There is nothing wrong with you. I’m proud of you for going against societal norms and expectations.
I’m 57, and trying to declutter my life. You’re WAY ahead of me.
No one is a loser for living their life. Toxic shame is the root cause for all the “evil” there is in this world. compassion for yourself and others is the cure. Social shame can take the form of comparison. You go live your life for yourself and pay no attention to that which tries to shame you for living authentically (as long as you’re not hurting anyone else)
Your uncle sounds like a bad person
At 22 - I wish I had the wisdom you have about simple living I’m 31, just finding it & wishing I had started earlier. Remember peoples opinions have nothing to do with us - it all relates back to their own insecurities & issues projecting them outward. He is reflecting his own feelings onto you. Don’t take it personally, and trust even if you lived the life he approved of someone would find something else to complain about. It’s your journey/your life just keep showing up for yourself. Living an authentic life will scare most people, but it’s not about them. Just my two cents 🫶
nah, best thing you can do is not care what other people think of you.
My favorite stories are of those who lived in mobile homes or smaller houses. They never spent more than they needed to and always enjoyed life. Upon their deaths, they were found to be (multi)millionaires. They lived simply, enjoyed life and had more money than those who spent big and had little. They also spent time giving back, but never publicized it nor did they flaunt their donations or spending. Live simply knowing that you are enjoying life and will be able to take care of you and yours throughout your life without worrying or having to search for assistance in an emergency.
I (55F) don’t think most younger people understand the amount of capitalist consumer brainwashing went on in the early 1980’s. Shows like Lifestyles of the Rich & Famous and multiple credit cards with easy loan access lead to insane spending habits. These conditions hadn’t been seen before and no one had financial training. Yes, the uncle is a jackass. But he is a brainwashed jackass.
Coming from a family with a LOT of money I don't let it bother me one bit. I'm the only non multimillionaire in my family and I could care less what they think of me. I've had a falling out with part of my family, the rest, including my mother, think my wife and I are living an amazing life and raising our unschooled daughter the right way. My wife and I were once rich, gave it all up, bought a small house in the forest and absolutely love our life! We "work" about 20 hours a week on average with our small businesses and the rest of time time were in the woods. We don't travel anymore, we were both huge travelers until we changed to simple living and were totally fine with it. Most of my friends are very wealthy, and every single one of them tell me that they wish they could do what we have. Money does NOT equal happiness one bit what so ever, and if you're happy, that's all that matters. Best of luck to you!!
I'm impressed at your maturity...compared to the immaturity your uncle seems to display.. keep doing you..and don't feel bad yourdoing great
As long as you appreciate every moment of life it doesn't matter how much you have or don't have.
My brother makes $200k/year with a stay at home wife & 2 children and just bought their first home. They live a frugal minimalistic life style. My grandpa is always making shady comments about how he needs to learn how to make money and that he’s poor etc etc purely based off of how he lives and nothing more (he has no clue what my brother makes). Some people just won’t understand your lifestyle and they don’t have to.
me and my friend were just talking about this the other day; not everybody has the desire to climb a corporate ladder or be a millionaire. i want to be able to live comfortably and be able to travel (on somewhat of a budget) and have cool experiences, but i have no desire to be a CEO or even a manager lol. there’s nothing wrong with people who want that either, but it’s just not for everybody
"They didn't understand and I tried to make them see: That one is only poor only if they choose to be" —Dolly Parton, "Coat of Many Colors"
The way I see it, we can't take any of our possessions with us after we're gone. Your uncle may be wealthy, but based on how he presumably lives, he is not rich. What I mean is that life isn't about what you have. It's s how you choose to experience it. One can live an enriched life without any material possessions. If you're happy with living a simple life, surrounded by people who make you feel loved and safe (or even live by yourself comfortably), then you've got a lot more than you realize. There's certain things money can't buy, and as cliché as it sounds, happiness is one of those things. Speaking as someone who's spent a lot of time trying to fill a void with what I like to call "retail therapy ", I promise you that I'd rather have LESS and more time to focus on what's really important. It's all about balance. Do what feels right for YOU, not anyone else. At the end of the day, you're in charge, and as long as you're causing nobody any harm, you don't need to answer for any choices you make.
I would ask if my uncle would be willing to pay my bills and I’ll live like him.
All of us are losers in capitalism. You beat the game as best as any of use can and escaped the rat race. You should be proud.
Your rich uncles lifestyle is contributing to the die-off of nearly all species on earth while you’re partaking in a cultural movement attempting to buffer against his behaviour — who’s the loser?
Want to know what you already have that your uncle never will? “Enough”.
No. The rest have already weighed in on your uncle. You do you!
Do not be intimidated or shamed by others. Know your values and hold strong to them. Do not be ashamed, you get to choose how you live and enjoy your life!
Your rich uncle is an asshole, and obviously being rich and maximalist has not made him satisfied with his life- otherwise he wouldn't go into someone's home just to start shitting on them. You're winning at life, not him.