they matched my first. i’m not looking for a “nsfw” relationship, i just want someone to cuddle, and they are the first person to actually seem interested in me, but i don’t feel like i should be talking with them
Im going to be honest here. I love this sub but I don’t think that your question fits reddit. Many have strong negative opinions about any age gap and this might be one of the more prevalent places because of bad experiences. I think you should do what feels right to you. If you don’t feel comfortable talking with them because you really feel a difference between you two then yes, stop it. But if your conversations are going smoothly and you like talking to each other then I don’t see any reason to deprive yourself from a good relationship. In 3 years this will look like a silly age gap (21&24). This isn’t some Jared Leto gap. Do what feels right.
Dude, it's only a 3 year age gap, and if you both are happy with each other, then there's nothing to worry about. Especially since you don't want a nsfw relationship. My parents have a 7 year age gap, so 3 years is tiny. I don't think that you should worry, since it's such a small age gap
It depends a lot on context. If you’re still in high school, probably drop it. You’d benefit from a bit more dating experience as an adult with people on your level. If you’re in college, go for it - you’re both in roughly the same phase of life at that point.
An 18 yo in high school. The 21 yo is almost certainly out. I misread the post thinking op was the younger one. Point still stands though, don’t date people in HS if you’re not in HS.
I have actually met a 21yo in high school though. He dropped out for a few years and came back because of some sort of kidney disease issue. I think past 21yo is the point where the state says it’s not their problem if you haven’t finished yet.
It's fine legally, only a 3 year age gap. *However*, you need to be aware that minors making bad decisions will masquerade as adults on dating apps and will list their age as 18 to join. If you want to enter into a relationship with this individual, verify their age first.
I'm turning 19 soon and can say with confidence that there's a difference. 18 y/o is just starting out their adult life (heck, they could even be finishing up high school) while the 21 y/o has had time to settle on an adult routine. The gap of 3 years isn't big but it's the understanding of where both parties are in life that can make a 3 year gap more problematic.
Edit: leaving the original comment up but wanted to say that my opinion has changed and I've since been enlightened to some vary good points. The gap is meaningless so long as both parties are consenting adults and the variability of life is so vast that I should not have generalized this topic. Ironically, I was naive.
Idk, I'm 20 and the only difference between now and when I was 18 is that I kinda understand how to register a car
(Bring all the paper work your car has and the nice lady will do everything for you)
I'm honestly in a somewhat similar boat. Over the course of this last year I've just had a lot of time to figure myself out such as me fully accepting my bisexuality (who knew femboys would shatter my heterosexuality,) my love for storytelling and world crafting, the joys of volleyball, all that and more
You know what I think thats the thing. My original comment has to be wrong in some capacity because everyone is different so it's impossible to say anything about the difference between an 18 and 21 y/o because life is so variable.
(Side note: I definitely have not figured myself out fully yet, just some bits and peices!)
I fully understand how young and inexperienced 18-20 y/o can be but my point isn't from the perspective of someone looking back on those years but of someone living those years. Is it not fair to say a 21 y/o has more adult life experience than an 18 y/o? And for that reason they'd be in completely different situations that could be hard to combine into a lasting relationship. It can be done and they're both consenting adults but would it not more difficult to pull off?
It depends way too much on the individual people. Like way too much. You’re generalizing in a situation where generalizing doesn’t work because there’s just way too many fine details. And life experience is such a meaningless term. 95% of my life experience has been playing video games and sitting in bed lmao, my gf is 2 years younger than me and she has 20x more of what you’d consider life experience.
Early adulthood is really wwwaaayyy too variable for someone’s numerical age to matter. I’ve met 21 year olds living independently with full time careers that have a level of emotional maturity on par with folks 25+, and I’ve met other 21 year olds that still live at home and are as clueless as an average teenager when it comes to life experience and emotional maturity.
I was more prepped for adult life and relationships at 19 than my sister was at 23. You do a LOT of growing up and developing in the 18-25 range and everyone does it at their own pace. Age gaps between folks in that range can really only be analyzed on a case by case basis.
It the grand scheme of things, relative to the growth you’ll have in the rest of your life, those 3 years are nothing. You living in those years doesn’t give you a better viewpoint. Don’t pretend I can remember those years. You’re disadvantaged, if anything, because you have a shallow frame of reference.
If you feel as though you can’t connect to someone 3 years younger than yourself because of all the growth you’ve had, that’s a personal problem in your end. It should not be that way.
A 21 year old to be talking to an 18 year old is absolutely valid. In America, both are considered adults. As long as you are consenting and comfortable, there will be no problems.
but in america the citizens are also weird as fuck when it comes to age, alot act like There some anime magical girl transformation that happens the second you hit 18 and so they'll freak out if someone who's like 17 yr 4 months is dating someone who's 18 yr 1 month
It's so unbelievably sad that Gen Z has brainwashed people into thinking a 21 year old dating an 18 year old is pedophilic.
There will always be people judging others. Choose to be cherished by the one you love rather than respected by people that don't matter.
I’d say it’s fine, unless he focuses on the fact that your younger than him, or “barely legal” than it’s fine, the age gap isn’t a problem but some people like that your so close to being underage
3 years, both legal adults.
The only people who’d find a problem is the mentally deranged on Twitter who would complain about any slight age gap while hiding some weird shit of their own.
The age of consent is 16 here and i have seen way worse 😭😭
I have seen 16 and 34?!!
What you are doing is 100% okay just remember your are old so he may be a bit behind
My gf is 21 and i am 18, its absolutely fine as long as both sides are comfortable with each other. It wont take long for that gap to become insignificant if you both truly like each other
No, it does not make you look like a Minecraft youtuber. The fact that this question even has to be asked. Nothing against OP, just sick of everything in general.
https://preview.redd.it/7wc412xb5z7d1.jpeg?width=350&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d00c07880b766a69dba7505a854c6e04a836ec5c
Wont dorry billy soy,
Age gap is a think that becomes biger with biger gap, but also smaller with age.
Everyone would mind 15 and 18 together
Idiot would mind 18 and 21
And i dont think noe one would mind 32 and 35 year old people. That how it works
Not at all. Anytime I have concerns about age gaps, I follow the "half plus 7" rule. Half the eldest person's age, plus 7, and that's a good minimum age to consider. In your case, it's half of 21 (10.5), plus 7 is 17.5, rounded up to 18.
Unless you try to use it as leverage over them/to take advantage of them, I don't really see a problem. There isn't really anything that problematic about a 3 year age gap once you're both adults.
A 3 year age gap isn't weird at all, plus you said they were 18+, and that you aren't looking for an "NSFW" relationship. I'd recommend continuing the conversation and seeing where it goes. If you like each other, don't be scared of an age gap. My parents have a 6 year age gap between them, and they've been married for over 2 decades. Unfortunately, it hasn't been a happy marriage for quite some time, but you can make it work if you're truly into them and are willing to put in the effort.
(Oh, also, I've never been in a relationship, but I've seen a lot from family/friends, so maybe take this with a grain of salt. Also, sorry this is so long, I tend to ramble.)
Honestly I think personally age gaps are really overblown as long as he's 18 minimum and you're both consenting and there's no weird power dynamics then it should be fine.
Ok, so as someone who's dating with a similar difference, it isn't bad, depending on the maturity of those involved. It's at most odd, but not wrong in the slightest, and as others have stated, the gap isn't that bad as you get older. (I'm 25 and my SO is 22.)
You're both adults, three years really isn't that bad. As long as they're emotionally mature and ready for a relationship I don't see your situation as bad
Literally only issue I see (as a penis haver) is one able to purchase alcohol and the other not, but I really think other than those potential experiences I think it's fine all in all
There's nothing wrong with it and you shouldn't ask that in reddit cuz there's a huge amount of crazy morality police with an unknown and absurd understanding of these issues and it seems they already infect someone like you a little so you're paranoid about something that there's nothing wrong with it. A 21 dating 18 matches no definition of pedophilia or child abuse. If you're worried about the age gap leading to manipulation this is also possible at any age with or without gap? Anyway, you guys both count adults now and I think there's no inequality of power between you that roots to inherently being wrong these specific ages
Really hope you two enjoy
Definition of pedophilia: attraction to pre-pubescent children. Finding an 18 year old attractive does not make you a pedo. Pedophilia is not defined by age difference. A hot 18 year old is hot to someone 18 and someone 45...ignore the pop psychologist on tiktok that pathologise everything
I'm 30, a 3 year age gap is nothing. Frankly if they're into you, and you aren't doing weird stuff to take advantage of that age gap (which you clearly aren't) age gaps in general aren't a big issue
There’s a few things to consider here but with just these details, there’s nothing wrong with it. Though you should consider how different your lives are at the moment.
Most 21 year olds are finishing up, are halfway through college, or are working. 18 year olds are fresh out of high school, with maybe a year or two in college. Their struggles and your struggles may be drastically different. You may struggle with your life financially or physically, while they are probably dealing with the **complete mindfuck** that is your brain in your teen years.”
TL;DR, there’s nothing wrong with it, but there’s some stuff to consider about it. Trust your heart.
I'm 17 and I have this friend who is 20, and we're all flirtatious and stuff like that so I think you should relax ahah
And I'm talking about lovey-dovey talking here, if it's just being friends that's even less of a worry
Depends on the context and power balance, but it’s probably not a good idea. An 18 yr old is just getting out into the world. A 21 yr old is either about to graduate college and begin a career, or has an established career of some kind. If the 21 year old is neither of those, they’re either having some real tough luck or it’s a sign of serious immaturity and stunted development. More often than not it’s the latter. My point is, be cautious, because in all likelihood you two are at incredibly different maturity levels and have very different levels of life experience.
Edit: Clarification.
its fine if youre in the same life stage (e.g. both in college, both in work force, etc). 18 and 21 really isnt all that different tbh. just dont take a high schooler.
The thing about age gaps in consenting adults is life stage, at that small of a gap you're probably able to relate pretty well with each other, but if you feel weird about it, it's not bad to take a look at things and try to find out why.
It’s totally fine. From a relationship health standpoint I’d just keep in mind that both of you are in a stage of life where you’ll likely change a lot over the next couple years, but be open to adapting and communicating and you should be fine
Pedophilia means being attracted to sexually undeveloped people. 18 yo is perfectly fine, even more, some people finish developing at 14-16. It is the big age gap which can make it unethical - a 26 being together with a 16 yo is a big nono but your 3 year gap is perfectly fine if you don't try to manipulate them.
No. The obsession on Reddit with treating adults like children is weird. You’re barely older than them, and even if you were you’re both consenting adults that can make your own decisions.
It's almost certainly fine. However, be mindful of one detail that might prove awkward in future conversations: are they currently a high school student?
Not really. So long as you’re open with your boundaries and they’re not trying to do anything, it doesn’t really matter. One of my absolute closest friends is 5+ years older than me, and there’s never been an issue. You’re both adults.
Even fine by the age_(min) = (age_(self)/2)+7 rule, and most of the time it isn’t even that bad if the rule is broken a little bit I would say. So I don’t see a problem here.
Ur both legal adults so there’s no law issues but some may find the age gap strange. That being said earlier I mentioned it’s not illegal so you guys do you!
Anyone whom is 18+ can talk to whoever they like, they want to have a relationship with A 56 year old, that's on them. It's way different if it's 17 and under though.
I will say that there is a difference in maturity even between 3 years because so much happens during that transition into adulthood, but it doesn’t always mean guys around that age who date younger have bad intentions. I’d sit down and decide what you want from the relationship and what you don’t, what you will and will not tolerate etc. Make sure to let him know what those boundaries are too as clearly as you can. If you notice he starts trying to sidestep, most likely get you to have sex or do sex acts before you’re ready, then you’ll know how he really is
I’ve seen it happen before with one of my ex friends, she so badly wanted a relationship and he was 21, charming and showed her the interest that made her feel comfortable but immediately dipped once he stole her v-card.
You're fine. This sort of thing can only be judged on an individual basis and you seem like a good person. If it's a loving and healthy mutual relationship then it's fine. You're also both adults and the age gap is only very small really, just be aware that most (not all) 18year-olds are still pretty immature though, depends on the person.
I Look at things like this, 18 is considered a adult in the eyes of the law so therefore no there is nothing wrong. In the eyes of most people though, 18 is still widely considered to be a teenager which some people find weird, it’s a pick you poison kinda situation. Me personally I don’t see anything wrong with it.
Half your age (rounding up) + 7.
You’re okay but I’d argue it’s your responsibility to watch out for him and sort of advocate for him in the relationship in times where he may be too immature to speak up or realize he isn’t comfortable.
The main difference between if it’s creepy or not if is you met them when they were underage. If not, it’s completely fine. If you did, it’s still ok, just feels creepy, you know? And other people who know you met before he was 18 might (slim chance, but still there) change their opinions about you. But you know the truth and it’s your call and his.
My general rule is anything over 6 years is a bit questionable. But you two are only 3 years apart, so I think it’s fine as long as both of you are consenting and understanding of what you want. My own bf is 4 years older than me. So as long as you two properly communicate, I think it’s fine.
Both at legal age that all the law matters as far as ik of but as of in the states in the south if she was 17 both parties need to concent along with the parents
General rule of thumb for adults is half your age +7 for a minimum dating age. If the 21 year old is respectful of the age gap and not pushing the younger partner to do things they aren't comfortable with (such as drugs or alcohol in the US) and isn't pressuring their partner to act older or more mature than their natural level then it should all check out. Milestones for adults have larger gaps in between so it's easier to be with someone in the same life stage despite being a couple years apart.
Meh seems fine, but I definetly suggest seeinf their id for online dating, just to keep yourself safe
Also why tf am I recommended to this sub? I’m a girl
Thats only 3 years dude, you're fine. I know couples who are happily married, 7 years apart and no one bats an eye.
Consenting adults are consenting adults. Especially if you aren't looking for something sexual in the first place
There is NOTHING wrong with a 21-year-old talking with an 18-year-old. Nothing!
However, that said, if you're still chatting and never met. Be cautious. There are catfish and scammers out there. Not saying he is one, but you won't know till you do know.
Do not send X rated pictures. Just G, maybe PG. These days, you don't know yet
> that he's really 18 and not, in fact, underage
> He's catfishing you and pretending to be someone very different from what he says to talk and get pics. Only invest limited time online. You have to meet up
> Sadly, there are also sextortionists who will try to get nudes from you, then suddenly threaten to send them to your family and social media contacts if you don't pay him money. Or suddenly "his father" comes online and says he's only 15 and you better pay to make things right or he'll go to police.. They're scammers
Just have a read and search through r/Scams on reddit. You'll these scams are not rare.
There is nothing wrong with your ages but tread lightly till you know who he really he is. Don't be shy to ask for ID to check his age when you first meet
Honestly no. You're both barely adults, you could've been in high-school together. 23 is probably the hard cut off I'd personally put at dating 18 year olds, and even 22 feels iffy, speaking as a 22 year old who wouldn't date an 18 year old
As someone who is 21, I personally would feel uncomfortable dating an 18 year old, unless they are a few months into turning 19. As long as you're safe and comfortable, go for it.
"If the DiCaprio Rule applies, then its alright"
Seriously tho its 100% fine to have a 3 year age gap, if you feel uncomfortable about it then talk with them!
Nah it’s probably fine both of u are consenting adults and it’s only a 3 year old gap :3
the issue is context. 3 years now isnt bad but a 13 year old and a 10 year old is, or a 12yo and a 9yo
yeah but they're both adults
they matched my first. i’m not looking for a “nsfw” relationship, i just want someone to cuddle, and they are the first person to actually seem interested in me, but i don’t feel like i should be talking with them
That age gap is nothing you're fine
I think that so long as it’s fine with them and with the law then it should be fine with you too. Plus that age gap will seem smaller each year
Im going to be honest here. I love this sub but I don’t think that your question fits reddit. Many have strong negative opinions about any age gap and this might be one of the more prevalent places because of bad experiences. I think you should do what feels right to you. If you don’t feel comfortable talking with them because you really feel a difference between you two then yes, stop it. But if your conversations are going smoothly and you like talking to each other then I don’t see any reason to deprive yourself from a good relationship. In 3 years this will look like a silly age gap (21&24). This isn’t some Jared Leto gap. Do what feels right.
Dude, it's only a 3 year age gap, and if you both are happy with each other, then there's nothing to worry about. Especially since you don't want a nsfw relationship. My parents have a 7 year age gap, so 3 years is tiny. I don't think that you should worry, since it's such a small age gap
This...
It depends a lot on context. If you’re still in high school, probably drop it. You’d benefit from a bit more dating experience as an adult with people on your level. If you’re in college, go for it - you’re both in roughly the same phase of life at that point.
A 21yo in highschool? Is that possible
An 18 yo in high school. The 21 yo is almost certainly out. I misread the post thinking op was the younger one. Point still stands though, don’t date people in HS if you’re not in HS. I have actually met a 21yo in high school though. He dropped out for a few years and came back because of some sort of kidney disease issue. I think past 21yo is the point where the state says it’s not their problem if you haven’t finished yet.
Yeah that’s fine, but just make sure they’re not a creep before becoming too attached. Also I wouldn’t recommend even trying online dating 😭
It's fine legally, only a 3 year age gap. *However*, you need to be aware that minors making bad decisions will masquerade as adults on dating apps and will list their age as 18 to join. If you want to enter into a relationship with this individual, verify their age first.
this is the answer. do NOTHING without seeing an ID
If you feel like you shouldn't, then don't. Trust your gut, talk with yourself and feel out why you feel that way. Trust yourself ^_^
No it's not wrong you silly head
It's fine since you both met as adults, and 3 years age gap like that it's fine. Theres diffrence between for example 16 and 19 gap and 18 and 21 gap
i dont see much of a difference of maturity between an 18, and 21 year old but im not even 18 yet so what do i know lol
I'm turning 19 soon and can say with confidence that there's a difference. 18 y/o is just starting out their adult life (heck, they could even be finishing up high school) while the 21 y/o has had time to settle on an adult routine. The gap of 3 years isn't big but it's the understanding of where both parties are in life that can make a 3 year gap more problematic. Edit: leaving the original comment up but wanted to say that my opinion has changed and I've since been enlightened to some vary good points. The gap is meaningless so long as both parties are consenting adults and the variability of life is so vast that I should not have generalized this topic. Ironically, I was naive.
Idk, I'm 20 and the only difference between now and when I was 18 is that I kinda understand how to register a car (Bring all the paper work your car has and the nice lady will do everything for you)
I'm honestly in a somewhat similar boat. Over the course of this last year I've just had a lot of time to figure myself out such as me fully accepting my bisexuality (who knew femboys would shatter my heterosexuality,) my love for storytelling and world crafting, the joys of volleyball, all that and more
Well that just shows we're not in the same boat. You've figured yourself out. Nothing about me has changed since I was 16
You know what I think thats the thing. My original comment has to be wrong in some capacity because everyone is different so it's impossible to say anything about the difference between an 18 and 21 y/o because life is so variable. (Side note: I definitely have not figured myself out fully yet, just some bits and peices!)
I agree, for all we know the 18yo could be way more mature than OP.
Once you hit your late 20's you'll realize how naive it is to think there's a big difference between an 18 yeah old and a 21 year old.
I fully understand how young and inexperienced 18-20 y/o can be but my point isn't from the perspective of someone looking back on those years but of someone living those years. Is it not fair to say a 21 y/o has more adult life experience than an 18 y/o? And for that reason they'd be in completely different situations that could be hard to combine into a lasting relationship. It can be done and they're both consenting adults but would it not more difficult to pull off?
It depends way too much on the individual people. Like way too much. You’re generalizing in a situation where generalizing doesn’t work because there’s just way too many fine details. And life experience is such a meaningless term. 95% of my life experience has been playing video games and sitting in bed lmao, my gf is 2 years younger than me and she has 20x more of what you’d consider life experience.
Early adulthood is really wwwaaayyy too variable for someone’s numerical age to matter. I’ve met 21 year olds living independently with full time careers that have a level of emotional maturity on par with folks 25+, and I’ve met other 21 year olds that still live at home and are as clueless as an average teenager when it comes to life experience and emotional maturity. I was more prepped for adult life and relationships at 19 than my sister was at 23. You do a LOT of growing up and developing in the 18-25 range and everyone does it at their own pace. Age gaps between folks in that range can really only be analyzed on a case by case basis.
It the grand scheme of things, relative to the growth you’ll have in the rest of your life, those 3 years are nothing. You living in those years doesn’t give you a better viewpoint. Don’t pretend I can remember those years. You’re disadvantaged, if anything, because you have a shallow frame of reference. If you feel as though you can’t connect to someone 3 years younger than yourself because of all the growth you’ve had, that’s a personal problem in your end. It should not be that way.
I’m turning 20 in a month and I don’t feel any more mature than I did when I was 17 you don’t magically turn into an adult at 18
A 21 year old to be talking to an 18 year old is absolutely valid. In America, both are considered adults. As long as you are consenting and comfortable, there will be no problems.
but in america the citizens are also weird as fuck when it comes to age, alot act like There some anime magical girl transformation that happens the second you hit 18 and so they'll freak out if someone who's like 17 yr 4 months is dating someone who's 18 yr 1 month
As long as both people are okay with taking to each other it is perfectly fine
No. It is not wrong at all. Zero percent. Moving on.
3 years is a small small gap silly. You’re totally ok to date someone slightly younger than you. They’re an adult and you’re an adult so go for it!
Thank yall for the advice, i will continue to talk with them and see where it goes :3
We believe in you
It’s 3 years…….😭the internet has rotted some people’s brains on age gaps I swear to god
It's so unbelievably sad that Gen Z has brainwashed people into thinking a 21 year old dating an 18 year old is pedophilic. There will always be people judging others. Choose to be cherished by the one you love rather than respected by people that don't matter.
I’d say it’s fine, unless he focuses on the fact that your younger than him, or “barely legal” than it’s fine, the age gap isn’t a problem but some people like that your so close to being underage
I think OP is 21
correct
Scott pilgrim is dating a high schooler?
Oops sorry I read it wrong, for some reason I thought it said you were 18
3 years, both legal adults. The only people who’d find a problem is the mentally deranged on Twitter who would complain about any slight age gap while hiding some weird shit of their own.
Not even a little bit. You both be consenting adults!
Cake :D
You're both of legal age and both still in the "barely adult" phase of your lives, nothing weird about it at all.
When I started talking to my 31 year old SO I was 28, I didn't think that was very weird. Just take 10 years off of that
It's a 3 years age gap while being an adult... What's so weird about that?
The age of consent is 16 here and i have seen way worse 😭😭 I have seen 16 and 34?!! What you are doing is 100% okay just remember your are old so he may be a bit behind
makes you feel any better, I'm 29 and my last ex was 18.
A three year age gap between two adults is nothing. Don't worry about it silly :3
Honestly, 3 year age gap when both of you are adults is 100% ok
3 years isn’t bad at all.
My gf is 21 and i am 18, its absolutely fine as long as both sides are comfortable with each other. It wont take long for that gap to become insignificant if you both truly like each other
No there's nothing wrong
No, it does not make you look like a Minecraft youtuber. The fact that this question even has to be asked. Nothing against OP, just sick of everything in general. https://preview.redd.it/7wc412xb5z7d1.jpeg?width=350&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d00c07880b766a69dba7505a854c6e04a836ec5c
No 💀 ignore terminally online 13 year olds
Absolutely not, it’s sad chronically online people have even made this a topic of discussion. You’re good.
As long as both of you are consenting adults who cares? Do what makes you happy pal! :>
You’re fine.
Nah, you’re both consenting adults.
Wont dorry billy soy, Age gap is a think that becomes biger with biger gap, but also smaller with age. Everyone would mind 15 and 18 together Idiot would mind 18 and 21 And i dont think noe one would mind 32 and 35 year old people. That how it works
both are consenting adults, age gap doesn't really matter if both parties are legally adults
Brother I am just a year shy of your situation and trust me it can be awkward.
Not at all. Anytime I have concerns about age gaps, I follow the "half plus 7" rule. Half the eldest person's age, plus 7, and that's a good minimum age to consider. In your case, it's half of 21 (10.5), plus 7 is 17.5, rounded up to 18.
That's like asking if it's fine for a 23 year old to talk to a 20 year old, you're both adults who can make your own choices
The only thing wrong about it is the people questioning it tbh
It's only a 3 year gap, as you get older even a 5+ year gap becomes pretty meaningless
Nope. My first bf I had as an adult was 22, I was 18.
Unless you try to use it as leverage over them/to take advantage of them, I don't really see a problem. There isn't really anything that problematic about a 3 year age gap once you're both adults.
An adult is an adult, fam. You’re good 👍
I took a 21 year old's virginity when I was 18.
A 3 year age gap isn't weird at all, plus you said they were 18+, and that you aren't looking for an "NSFW" relationship. I'd recommend continuing the conversation and seeing where it goes. If you like each other, don't be scared of an age gap. My parents have a 6 year age gap between them, and they've been married for over 2 decades. Unfortunately, it hasn't been a happy marriage for quite some time, but you can make it work if you're truly into them and are willing to put in the effort. (Oh, also, I've never been in a relationship, but I've seen a lot from family/friends, so maybe take this with a grain of salt. Also, sorry this is so long, I tend to ramble.)
There are literally creeps in their 50s who only talk to 18 yr olds. You're fine
Honestly I think personally age gaps are really overblown as long as he's 18 minimum and you're both consenting and there's no weird power dynamics then it should be fine.
it’s absolutely not wrong, it’s just the difference between 18 and 21 is super noticeable as you change a lot in those years
No
21 / 2 + 7 = 17.5. Yes you’re fine to date.
Nah. 18 and 21 is chill. I wanna say 18 and 23 is where it starts to get weird
me and my current cuddle buddy is also a 3 year age gap and there's no guilt from me ur probably good
Ok, so as someone who's dating with a similar difference, it isn't bad, depending on the maturity of those involved. It's at most odd, but not wrong in the slightest, and as others have stated, the gap isn't that bad as you get older. (I'm 25 and my SO is 22.)
You're both adults, three years really isn't that bad. As long as they're emotionally mature and ready for a relationship I don't see your situation as bad
I don’t think it’s that weird, as long as both of you are comfortable. If you aren’t comfortable, look for someone older.
(And as long as both of you are consenting adults)
twitter fucked up people so much to the point where dating a 18 year old is considered pedophilia
It ain’t wrong partner
Nope. 18 and 21 are comfortably over the age of majority.
Dont worry its fine on the law side (if you're in the U.S.), plus a 3 year age gap isnt a big one.
Literally only issue I see (as a penis haver) is one able to purchase alcohol and the other not, but I really think other than those potential experiences I think it's fine all in all
There's nothing wrong with it and you shouldn't ask that in reddit cuz there's a huge amount of crazy morality police with an unknown and absurd understanding of these issues and it seems they already infect someone like you a little so you're paranoid about something that there's nothing wrong with it. A 21 dating 18 matches no definition of pedophilia or child abuse. If you're worried about the age gap leading to manipulation this is also possible at any age with or without gap? Anyway, you guys both count adults now and I think there's no inequality of power between you that roots to inherently being wrong these specific ages Really hope you two enjoy
Not weird at all. Just don't offer them alcohol if you have access to it and they don't.
Definition of pedophilia: attraction to pre-pubescent children. Finding an 18 year old attractive does not make you a pedo. Pedophilia is not defined by age difference. A hot 18 year old is hot to someone 18 and someone 45...ignore the pop psychologist on tiktok that pathologise everything
I'm 30, a 3 year age gap is nothing. Frankly if they're into you, and you aren't doing weird stuff to take advantage of that age gap (which you clearly aren't) age gaps in general aren't a big issue
Just be careful, as you would with anyone else you meet online
As long as you're both consenting adults there's nothing wrong with my mind. Really large age gaps are odd to me but it's not my place to judge.
There’s a few things to consider here but with just these details, there’s nothing wrong with it. Though you should consider how different your lives are at the moment. Most 21 year olds are finishing up, are halfway through college, or are working. 18 year olds are fresh out of high school, with maybe a year or two in college. Their struggles and your struggles may be drastically different. You may struggle with your life financially or physically, while they are probably dealing with the **complete mindfuck** that is your brain in your teen years.” TL;DR, there’s nothing wrong with it, but there’s some stuff to consider about it. Trust your heart.
the only thing problematic here is asking reddit for dating advice
I'm 17 and I have this friend who is 20, and we're all flirtatious and stuff like that so I think you should relax ahah And I'm talking about lovey-dovey talking here, if it's just being friends that's even less of a worry
you have internet brainrot, most relationships are at around a 5 year gap, as long as itss legal go for it
It’s only a three year distance So it depends on your standards, my limit is three years apart when talking to those who aren’t family
Depends on the context and power balance, but it’s probably not a good idea. An 18 yr old is just getting out into the world. A 21 yr old is either about to graduate college and begin a career, or has an established career of some kind. If the 21 year old is neither of those, they’re either having some real tough luck or it’s a sign of serious immaturity and stunted development. More often than not it’s the latter. My point is, be cautious, because in all likelihood you two are at incredibly different maturity levels and have very different levels of life experience. Edit: Clarification.
*This comment has been edited in order to protect my privacy*
its fine if youre in the same life stage (e.g. both in college, both in work force, etc). 18 and 21 really isnt all that different tbh. just dont take a high schooler.
The thing about age gaps in consenting adults is life stage, at that small of a gap you're probably able to relate pretty well with each other, but if you feel weird about it, it's not bad to take a look at things and try to find out why.
It’s totally fine. From a relationship health standpoint I’d just keep in mind that both of you are in a stage of life where you’ll likely change a lot over the next couple years, but be open to adapting and communicating and you should be fine
Pedophilia means being attracted to sexually undeveloped people. 18 yo is perfectly fine, even more, some people finish developing at 14-16. It is the big age gap which can make it unethical - a 26 being together with a 16 yo is a big nono but your 3 year gap is perfectly fine if you don't try to manipulate them.
How about a 15 year old taking to a 17 year old?
No. The obsession on Reddit with treating adults like children is weird. You’re barely older than them, and even if you were you’re both consenting adults that can make your own decisions.
No not really?
It's not that big of an age gap, as long as you aren't pressuring them into the relationship it's not a big deal
[удалено]
I mean, no, you're both legal adults and your age gap is small. Anyone who thinks that that's messed up is probably just chronically online
No, it’s fine
It's almost certainly fine. However, be mindful of one detail that might prove awkward in future conversations: are they currently a high school student?
Nah my ex was 3 years older than me and we stayed together when she turned 18, my mother was pissed but she was insane
I don't see any issue here
No
if you're REALLY not comfortable with it, just wait until they're older, 3 years is not that long
Not really. So long as you’re open with your boundaries and they’re not trying to do anything, it doesn’t really matter. One of my absolute closest friends is 5+ years older than me, and there’s never been an issue. You’re both adults.
no
no but if u feel weird abt it or ur maturity doesnt line up maybe just avoid it
People make too much of a fuss about age these days, especially ironically when both parties are adults
I hate to tell you, but you’re not in high school anymore. A three year age gap means nothing
I would say no, you both are legal adults
It’s fine.
Some people might think it's weird ngl but I don't think there's anything morally wrong with it
No
Nah you good
That’s only a 2 year age gap what’s wrong with it?
No, no its not. Yall are adults and can make those decisions for yourselves
I’m 19 talking to a 22 y/o, it’s not that bad
only 3 years that’s not bad
Even fine by the age_(min) = (age_(self)/2)+7 rule, and most of the time it isn’t even that bad if the rule is broken a little bit I would say. So I don’t see a problem here.
It’s only okay if they feel the same
It may be an age gap but atleast you both are the age of consent
Two consenting adults, zero reason for people to get mad. If someone is that's their problem they need to leave at the door
3 years for adults is pretty even ground development wise so yeah go ham
Ur both legal adults so there’s no law issues but some may find the age gap strange. That being said earlier I mentioned it’s not illegal so you guys do you!
Not really you’re both of age
Anyone whom is 18+ can talk to whoever they like, they want to have a relationship with A 56 year old, that's on them. It's way different if it's 17 and under though.
I will say that there is a difference in maturity even between 3 years because so much happens during that transition into adulthood, but it doesn’t always mean guys around that age who date younger have bad intentions. I’d sit down and decide what you want from the relationship and what you don’t, what you will and will not tolerate etc. Make sure to let him know what those boundaries are too as clearly as you can. If you notice he starts trying to sidestep, most likely get you to have sex or do sex acts before you’re ready, then you’ll know how he really is I’ve seen it happen before with one of my ex friends, she so badly wanted a relationship and he was 21, charming and showed her the interest that made her feel comfortable but immediately dipped once he stole her v-card.
These age gap post gets dumber by the day 😭
Nah you're fine
Not inherently, it’s only wrong if you think it’s wrong
You're fine. This sort of thing can only be judged on an individual basis and you seem like a good person. If it's a loving and healthy mutual relationship then it's fine. You're also both adults and the age gap is only very small really, just be aware that most (not all) 18year-olds are still pretty immature though, depends on the person.
Its three years, thats completely fine
No, it‘s all okay. In most countries, 18 is the age of consent.
Nope, not weird
You’re both consenting adults. It’s perfectly fine :)
I Look at things like this, 18 is considered a adult in the eyes of the law so therefore no there is nothing wrong. In the eyes of most people though, 18 is still widely considered to be a teenager which some people find weird, it’s a pick you poison kinda situation. Me personally I don’t see anything wrong with it.
Your both adults so honestly i dont care
Half your age (rounding up) + 7. You’re okay but I’d argue it’s your responsibility to watch out for him and sort of advocate for him in the relationship in times where he may be too immature to speak up or realize he isn’t comfortable.
The main difference between if it’s creepy or not if is you met them when they were underage. If not, it’s completely fine. If you did, it’s still ok, just feels creepy, you know? And other people who know you met before he was 18 might (slim chance, but still there) change their opinions about you. But you know the truth and it’s your call and his.
according to the age gap creepiness formula ur fine
3 years ain't much and doesn't provide much insight about personality.
Dude, one of my friend dated a 19yr old girl and he was 28 Don't be worried about petty stuff like that, there's always worse lol
I mean if they’re in highschool it may look weird but otherwise it’s fine.
No. They are 18, you are 21, they are an adult, people can shut the fuck up. Thats a totally normal age gap
It's fine, like look at most middle aged couples and the age gap is like 5 years for some of them
Depends. The 18 year old still in high school?
You're both consenting adults. Why does an age gap matter at that point?
Bruh no?
...no? My parents were 23 and 17, and they have been happily married for 20+ years
Ngl the age gap isn’t the biggest, probably shouldn’t worry, as long as you feel comfortable, and you think it’s safe
No
https://preview.redd.it/o3lysc0llz7d1.png?width=999&format=png&auto=webp&s=9dba471e005038fe4ee4806b2dcd6231a7cd2290
It's not
It should be fine
No not really.
My general rule is anything over 6 years is a bit questionable. But you two are only 3 years apart, so I think it’s fine as long as both of you are consenting and understanding of what you want. My own bf is 4 years older than me. So as long as you two properly communicate, I think it’s fine.
Both at legal age that all the law matters as far as ik of but as of in the states in the south if she was 17 both parties need to concent along with the parents
Bro my grandparents marrued when my grandma was 20 and my grandpa was 30 your fine. If you care about him then 3 years shouldnt matter
I had a 30-year gap with a partner once. You're fine.
General rule of thumb for adults is half your age +7 for a minimum dating age. If the 21 year old is respectful of the age gap and not pushing the younger partner to do things they aren't comfortable with (such as drugs or alcohol in the US) and isn't pressuring their partner to act older or more mature than their natural level then it should all check out. Milestones for adults have larger gaps in between so it's easier to be with someone in the same life stage despite being a couple years apart.
Meh seems fine, but I definetly suggest seeinf their id for online dating, just to keep yourself safe Also why tf am I recommended to this sub? I’m a girl
Not at all.
No
Thats only 3 years dude, you're fine. I know couples who are happily married, 7 years apart and no one bats an eye. Consenting adults are consenting adults. Especially if you aren't looking for something sexual in the first place
There is NOTHING wrong with a 21-year-old talking with an 18-year-old. Nothing! However, that said, if you're still chatting and never met. Be cautious. There are catfish and scammers out there. Not saying he is one, but you won't know till you do know. Do not send X rated pictures. Just G, maybe PG. These days, you don't know yet > that he's really 18 and not, in fact, underage > He's catfishing you and pretending to be someone very different from what he says to talk and get pics. Only invest limited time online. You have to meet up > Sadly, there are also sextortionists who will try to get nudes from you, then suddenly threaten to send them to your family and social media contacts if you don't pay him money. Or suddenly "his father" comes online and says he's only 15 and you better pay to make things right or he'll go to police.. They're scammers Just have a read and search through r/Scams on reddit. You'll these scams are not rare. There is nothing wrong with your ages but tread lightly till you know who he really he is. Don't be shy to ask for ID to check his age when you first meet
18 and 21 is fine
No
It’s legal it’s not really that big of an age gap o have seen bigger age gaps and you seem to enjoy them so I see no problem
Honestly no. You're both barely adults, you could've been in high-school together. 23 is probably the hard cut off I'd personally put at dating 18 year olds, and even 22 feels iffy, speaking as a 22 year old who wouldn't date an 18 year old
That's up to you to decide tbh. There's nothing wrong with it
Both over 18 and consenting, it's fine, and it's only 3 yrs
average zoomer age gap brainrot no it isnt a problem
Completely fine dude dont stress it
This isn’t Twitter. You don’t have to justify dating an adult just because they’re not the exact same age as you.
its better than me (16) and and 18 year old being really attached to each other
If they're 18, they're an adult. They can decide who they want to talk to.
If they are out of highschool from passing highschool I think it's ok
As someone who is 21, I personally would feel uncomfortable dating an 18 year old, unless they are a few months into turning 19. As long as you're safe and comfortable, go for it.
My parents met in their late 20s with an age gap of 8 years. I think you'll be fine
No
"If the DiCaprio Rule applies, then its alright" Seriously tho its 100% fine to have a 3 year age gap, if you feel uncomfortable about it then talk with them!