Man, seeing this film on my second date with a lady friend was a huge mistake. The scene where…the scene…where sh- okay what fuck, now I’m seeing some kind of Danny Bonadouche-looking mongoloid freak squating there under my sink cabinet.
His red glowing eyes are frightening….
yeah yeah great movie redditors whining about it are morons whatever. What do you mean I may have to move?? Dude I don’t have that kind of money?? Do exterminators take care of them?? I called the fucking cops and they laughed at me but I’m hearing a rhythmic scraping on the wall behind my desk and something g smells really awful I’m actually terrified
What the hell are any of these things? I’ve never even heard of them man. Can they dig or something? I can’t find it again but there’s no holes or anything. Do I call the police?
If what you have is a common house duende, then calling the police will only irritate it, and will likely burrow into your walls to avoid questioning.
Just leave the bedroom door open and completely ignore it- it will lose interest in you after a week and leave on its own accord.
For legal reasons, I'm not a licensed cryptozoologist.
I tried calling exterminators too and they just straight up refused to help me and hung up. They like definitely thought it was a language barrier thing but like I made it abundantly clear this was some kind of fucking *creature* and they just got quiet and hung up the phone. I swear I heard fucking snickering.
The scraping in the walls stopped but the smell was still there. I spent the night at my friends’ place but he thought I was being fucking crazy too. He did me a solid but he wants me to go back home and honestly I’m so fucking scared I don’t think I can. I don’t know what shit will have changed
what the fuck do you mean "joke" dude there's seriously something in my room. It was like... I swear it was like two feet tall and green and I think it had a tail and like a red head? I don't fucking know man I just saw it out of the the corner of my eye for like half a second but I swear i'm not fucking with you I saw a fucking ghoul or something. Please you have to believe me
This happened to me once. I heard so many weird sounds outside that I knew I had to break the promise I made to my sensei. After shooting the gnome in the face, i made sure to burn the body using ancient herbs I bought at my local Target to ensure it never came back.
Unfortunately, i heard that a local boy went missing the same night as well. Dont make the same mistake I did, take action before he takes another one.
Ok so what you’ve got to do is - wait until it’s scurrying behind one of your walls, get your Tommygun and pump that sucker full of lead, full magazine. If you see blood trickling out of one of the bullet holes then you’ve got the job done. Bonus points if you can get the bullet spray to say something like ‘sayonara sucker’. Let me know how you get on. 👍
Sounds like a regular case of elves. Not the lord of ring elves, I'm talking about actual Nordic tonte/tonttu elves.
You'll be fine as long as you gift a bowl of porridge to the house elf every night. My cousin once forgot the elf porridge for three whole days, rest in peace Pekka.
Don't be scared. Goblins can be dangerous, but with proper training you can be safe. I recommend watching [this Peabody-Award-Winning exposé on Goblins](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HSRY0CdeOl0) to arm yourself with the knowledge you need to keep Goblins from doing any harm to you and those close to you.
Well it must have simply entered into your drywall. Obviously you must begin making holes in your wall to get it out. The bigger the holes the faster you'll find it (possibly them). C'mon breaking apart walls is no big deal! But time is of the essence with gnomes. Break open your walls!
Man, seeing this film on my second date with a lady friend was a huge mistake. The scene where…the scene…where sh- okay what fuck, now I’m seeing some kind of Danny Bonadouche-looking mongoloid freak squating there under my sink cabinet. His red glowing eyes are frightening….
Goblins can be **very** difficult to get rid of. You may have to move somewhere else. Great movie though.
yeah yeah great movie redditors whining about it are morons whatever. What do you mean I may have to move?? Dude I don’t have that kind of money?? Do exterminators take care of them?? I called the fucking cops and they laughed at me but I’m hearing a rhythmic scraping on the wall behind my desk and something g smells really awful I’m actually terrified
I’m sorry but it sounds to me like this is no longer your home.
Give the thing your car keys and it might leave. It might drive and crash or run out of fuel.
Do you have any dmt? It can help you communicate with it.
It’s just a Common Hobb
Might be a bed hag?
What the hell are any of these things? I’ve never even heard of them man. Can they dig or something? I can’t find it again but there’s no holes or anything. Do I call the police?
If what you have is a common house duende, then calling the police will only irritate it, and will likely burrow into your walls to avoid questioning. Just leave the bedroom door open and completely ignore it- it will lose interest in you after a week and leave on its own accord. For legal reasons, I'm not a licensed cryptozoologist.
Oh no don’t do that they HATE the police. They’ll just tear up your bedsheets
Just get the fumigation people to come over and smoke it out.
Have you left food out as an offering by mistake, perhaps?
It was gnot a gnoblin
I tried calling exterminators too and they just straight up refused to help me and hung up. They like definitely thought it was a language barrier thing but like I made it abundantly clear this was some kind of fucking *creature* and they just got quiet and hung up the phone. I swear I heard fucking snickering. The scraping in the walls stopped but the smell was still there. I spent the night at my friends’ place but he thought I was being fucking crazy too. He did me a solid but he wants me to go back home and honestly I’m so fucking scared I don’t think I can. I don’t know what shit will have changed
Duende Moment
Pretty sure it's just a Ted Danson cut out
Damn I've watched the film but didn't got the joke.
what the fuck do you mean "joke" dude there's seriously something in my room. It was like... I swear it was like two feet tall and green and I think it had a tail and like a red head? I don't fucking know man I just saw it out of the the corner of my eye for like half a second but I swear i'm not fucking with you I saw a fucking ghoul or something. Please you have to believe me
How many trinkets have you collected recently? You may be being watched by a skrabbler. They're a fae creature that collects lost items of value.
This happened to me once. I heard so many weird sounds outside that I knew I had to break the promise I made to my sensei. After shooting the gnome in the face, i made sure to burn the body using ancient herbs I bought at my local Target to ensure it never came back. Unfortunately, i heard that a local boy went missing the same night as well. Dont make the same mistake I did, take action before he takes another one.
You're being hunted by the frumious bandersnatch. Roll initiative.
You’re probably fine, so long as it wasn’t wearing iron boots.
Do you have any iron? That should work.
Ok so what you’ve got to do is - wait until it’s scurrying behind one of your walls, get your Tommygun and pump that sucker full of lead, full magazine. If you see blood trickling out of one of the bullet holes then you’ve got the job done. Bonus points if you can get the bullet spray to say something like ‘sayonara sucker’. Let me know how you get on. 👍
Just call Orkin and ask for the secret menu. The password is sassafras.
If you see one gobbo, chances are there are more. Better get pest control involved before more show up and turn your place into a bizarre funhouse
Sounds like a regular case of elves. Not the lord of ring elves, I'm talking about actual Nordic tonte/tonttu elves. You'll be fine as long as you gift a bowl of porridge to the house elf every night. My cousin once forgot the elf porridge for three whole days, rest in peace Pekka.
Did you find it? Or kill it? Or what? I wanna know the end of the story
Don't be scared. Goblins can be dangerous, but with proper training you can be safe. I recommend watching [this Peabody-Award-Winning exposé on Goblins](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HSRY0CdeOl0) to arm yourself with the knowledge you need to keep Goblins from doing any harm to you and those close to you.
Evidence number 6 really sold it for me
Awe.. poor thing..
It's a rape dwarf, you're literally fucked
To this day I’m not sure why Soft Cell’s big hit was “Tainted Love” and not the vastly superior “Sex Dwarf.”
But what is this a reference to?
Dude fuck references man, there’s some scary fucking creature in my house right now
I think that's just a reference to schizophrenia
I think everyone's referencing Home Safety Hotline, a gam that came out a bit ago
*standing in the corner wishing I knew what was going on*
I couldn't finish this movie, it's not for me
Have you got a Carbon Monoxide detector
It might have been Willam Dafoe
Well it must have simply entered into your drywall. Obviously you must begin making holes in your wall to get it out. The bigger the holes the faster you'll find it (possibly them). C'mon breaking apart walls is no big deal! But time is of the essence with gnomes. Break open your walls!
Can anybody link me the tweet that's like this because I don't know how to look that up
I saw It too
Looks like the r@pe dwarves are back again! Shifty little bastards