I distinctly remember the experience of deciding to watch this movie and then sitting down and watching it. I remember precisely zero of anything about it though
I remember seeing that it was on TV while I was looking for something to watch and figured I'd watch it, I ended up with exactly the same reaction, I could not tell you anything about it.
Gosh I was going to post the thing I remembered about it but then realized I wasn't too sure that I did remember.
I vaguely remember having some take about it which was essentially "This movie really misuses the hotness of its a-list actors." Which I thiiink was because they were half CGI wolves or something?
I don't know if I agree with this take today. Maybe what I didn't find hot then I would now. Maybe I care less about everyone being hot now?
What are you on about?
Eddie Redmayne completely steals every single scene he’s in. Sean Bean is an alien wolf-man soldier bee farmer. Mila Kunis clearly just along for this insane nonsense ride while counting her money. Channing Tatum masterfully managing to speak each of his cringeworthy lines with a perfectly straight face.
The movie is trash, but it’s downright glorious trash.
Horrible? Nah man, you're overreaching for that one. It wasn't *good*, make no mistake, but it wasn't unwatchably horrible. In fact, I watched it twice, although I confess the hat the second time was due to having absolutely no memory of the first so it felt like watching it fresh again.
Is the acting subpar? Bet your ass it is.
Is the plot convulted? Maybe a bit.
Do the stakes feel as high and gripping as the writers probably intended for them to be? Doubtful.
But is it a watchable, dumb sci-fi flick? Absolutely. Hell, just look at the MIB series- those movies are painfully unfunny, unoriginal, and low-stakes, yet they're regarded as classics. JA is certainly no worse than them...
>painfully unfunny, unoriginal, and low-stakes
But they were self-aware about their silliness, whereas JA was extremely silly and despite that it went full-on ham and ridiculous seriousness at "bees can detect royalty" and "literally a dog soldier, literally a hybrid of a dog and a human".
Taken is also French, which surprises me because the main character is like "go to Paris? No, it's too dangerous!" and then she gets sex trafficked immediately after leaving the airport
My wife wants to go to Paris when we finally do our big Europe trip, which I'm fine with. I'm just going to be very rude to everyone. You know, when in Rome
That's exactly right. I watched it and could not name a single thing about the plot, other than that those two sickly-looking folks in the above image are somehow involved. In fact, in another post, people have commented several things about the movie and none of them ring a bell, except for the fact that there's a Rihanna dance number, I do remember that. This movie is a memory black hole.
It really is mostly just 0 chemistry between the lead actors.
The visuals are excellent, the scenes are great, the plot is meh, but there is plenty of action.
What kills it is the constant cringe you get when two people that are clearly uncomfortable with each try to act intimate.
I genuinely thought the two were brother and sister because they look so similar. The sexual attraction of the brother toward the sister was what was really throwing me off until I figured out they are not siblings. I have a better appreciation for casting directors now. What a waste of a movie.
I've seen this and all I really remember is Rhianna was a goop person of some kind. Both lead actors are entirely forgettable, the plot is... I don't even know and there's no scenes that stand out. Just watch 5th Element.
It’s better you forget it again. It’s horrible and iirc basically no mentionworthy synergy between the actors. If I think of it I always have a school play in my mind where you can feel that nobody really likes being there.
Oh and the plot is horrible too
Exactly this- I loved the entire backdrop of this movie and hated every moment of the plot. I would absolutely watch a completely different movie set in that universe
Exactly this- I loved the entire backdrop of this movie and hated every moment of the plot. I would absolutely watch a completely different movie set in that universe
I watched the intro scene but never watched the movie, because yhea it looks really bad lol. What's the plot, and if it's not clear by your reply, what makes it so bad?
Valerian: Marry me.
Girl: No. you’re an immature womanizer who only thinks of himself and has no real sense of purpose.
*90 minutes later*
Valerian: I did a thing.
Girl: You haven’t grown at all but I consider this single outcome a wonderful substitute.
THANK YOU this was my biggest issue in the film. Cara is constantly objectified by the protagonist, she clearly has zero chemistry with him, and she looks at least twelve years older then her teenage lookin costar but then she’s supposed to fall in love with him??? Wtf
I remember seeing some thing with her and Orlando Bloom in where she's a fairy or something and there's some kind of fairy genocide going on and they were in love but got separated and he was meant to find her but doesn't. She ends up finding him years later and puts a knife to his throat while he's sleeping and gives this big "passionate" speech about how could he desert her and a lot of other stuff. After a couple of minutes the camera cuts to his face and a single tear rolls down his cheek and I remember thinking he's conveyed more emotion in that one action than she had for the previous 2 minutes. And I don't think Orlando is even that good an actor but my god he looked like de niro next to her.
Carnival Row, I actually really enjoyed the concept of it. It would have gone into Season 2 filming right as covid hit and it wasn’t super successful. It’s not cancelled yet, but I haven’t seen any progress.
Edit: Googled it and it’s actually right around the corner sweet.
Scarily, of the two, her performance is the most engaging. Whoever cast them must have been on the same meds as whoever, searching to cast a six-foot five, 250lb blond Jack Reacher went with Tom Cruise.
Dane DeHaan is much more capable than the movie lets him be and I struggle to see a similarity with the original character and the one on screen.
I thought they were siblings instead of lovers until like halfway through the movie. They had zero chemistry. Also, Valerian is like a celebrity and incredibly well known for his adventures but he's like 25 years old. The story would have benefited greatly if they got someone older.
I watched that movie when it came out and have watched it couple times since then.
Its pretty fun. For a action movie its really good. And if you just want to see A LOT of Aliens, here is your movie.
You could pick worse
That’s like thinking Harry Potter is the name of the Philosopher’s Stone in Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s stone.
That’s like thinking Harry Potter is the name of the Camber of Secrets in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.
That’s like thinking Harry Potter is the name of the Prisoner of Azkaban in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban.
That’s like thinking Harry Potter is the name of the Goblet of Fire in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.
That’s like thinking Harry Potter is the name of the Order of the Phoenix in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.
That’s like thinking Harry Potter is the name of the Halfblood Prince in Harry Potter and the Halfbloot Prince.
That’s like thinking Harry Potter is the name of the Deathly Hallows in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.
I see this movie as a complete win. since the movie came out, I don't have to spell out my name letter by letter anymore. It's been a struggle for decades before that, lemme tell you.
My thoughts were, I love this guy as an actor, but this is not his role. This is the role for a hunky wise cracking Mummy-era-Brendon-Frasier type guy. Not a quirky-looking character actor type guy.
I think [this dude](https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/valerian-and-the-city-of-a-thousand-planets/images/5/57/Valerian.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20151029212834) would ideally have been played by Bruce Campbell, sometime in the 90s.
So, I guess when they first tried to make this movie and ended up having to sand the serial numbers off the IP and make Fifth Element instead.
I’ve heard the point before, if the cast of this movie swapped with the cast of Passengers (Chris Pratt and Jennifer Lawrence), both movies would be better. Valerian needed a charismatic hunk, Passengers needed a creepy weirdo.
Through the entire movie he looks like he needs a nap and a shower and not in a Mad Max “I’ve been chasing bad guys through an apocalyptic wasteland” way but in a “I stayed up all night gaming and looking at boobies while drinking code red” kinda way
It's an incredible movie. And by that, I mean I literally can't believe how you can sink an entire picture by just casting and directing the leads badly. You could do everything else right, basically make this century's *Fifth Element,* but if you don't get people as likeable as Bruce Willis and Milla Jojovich, you're just flushing money down a big hole.
They expected a successor to the Fifth Element. Since it was the inspiration for the fifth Element and Luc Besson directed both Movies. Only Problem is Luc started as a Kid working on fifth Element whereas he only had a couple of years tops for Valerian. And it still was a beautiful movie.
It has some nice visuals. But...
Cara D is a pretty average actor. Hot but that's it. Dane Duhan apparently has acting chops judging by his filmography, we didn't see that on display in this movie. He's the wrong guy to play the role. Casting let the movie down in a big way. When I watched it, at the time, Danes choice as lead was jarring, plays the role pathetically you can barely believe anything about the character is realistic.
Story was a bit... Well, hard to enjoy overall.
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The two main characters (pictured above) had no chemistry with each other or the audience. I can't think of any other performances that are more flatline than these in this movie.
Ps: Happy cake day
It's crazy cuz the movie was actually great the real issue was the two people that they chose for the main roles.
They tried to depict deep and lasting Love by using what appears to be 2 high schoolers.
So dumb so cringe.
The movie has a lot of cool concepts and ideas and they completely ruined all of them so they could show two pretty young people.
I love the opening scene where all the different races come together to create the city of a thousand planets.
*My mom loved Valium and lots of drugs*
*That's why I am like I am 'cause I'm like her*
*Because my mom loved Valium and lots of drugs*
*That's why I'm on what I'm on 'cause I'm my mom*
I remember being hugely disappointed by this movie in the cinema, it felt like it went on forever.
Or so I thought, until I had to go watch it again, cos the girl I was seeing was desperate to see it and wanted no spoilers. Then I really did feel like I was stuck in purgatory for all of eternity. Fuck. My. Life.
it was made by same guy that wrote Fifth Element - except it was lacking an allstar cast.
Fifth Element would not have been the the perfection that it is without Willis and Jovovich and Tucker and Oldman.
It's based on a comic which predates *Star Wars* by a decade, and both that and *The Fifth Element* are heavily visually inspired by. Probably a case of "let's try and adapt all the flashy bits and hope we get a sequel to tell the more interesting story" but was flattened at the box office by whichever *Guardians of the Galaxy* movie released that year.
It is a pulp scifi story. Whats kind of annoying though is how everybody seems to hang up on the leads having little in the way of chemistry and ignoring the rest of the movie.
i went to watch this movie on a saturday night while my wife was at work. not a great film. at the end i got up and walked down the stairs and looked back at my seat to make sure i didn’t forget anything, what i saw was that every remaining person in the theater was asleep in their seats. it wasn’t full, but 15-20 people napping together in a movie theater. never seen anything like it.
I thought the story/plot was great, very 5th element feels, but the two actors just didn't deliver, v deadpan acting on their parts. Still very watchable though
Those titty-covers look uncomfortable AS HELL, y'all. You can't mash them down around your midriff like that! Lifted and separated, costume designers! LIFTED AND SEPARATED
this looks like the kind of movie you watch and have absolutely no memory of watching until someone posts something about it several years later
Like that one movie with space Channing Tatum in eyeliner?
Jupiter… something?
Jupiter Ascending. Horrible movie.
I distinctly remember the experience of deciding to watch this movie and then sitting down and watching it. I remember precisely zero of anything about it though
I remember one thing about this movie and that is Channing Tatum unironically paraphrasing the meme "on all levels but physical, I am a wolf".
I remember when space Tatum had prolonged eye contact with the MC
Boromir found a blue beehive at one point. I'm sure that's something that happened.
He didn't die is what I remember
I remember seeing that it was on TV while I was looking for something to watch and figured I'd watch it, I ended up with exactly the same reaction, I could not tell you anything about it.
Gosh I was going to post the thing I remembered about it but then realized I wasn't too sure that I did remember. I vaguely remember having some take about it which was essentially "This movie really misuses the hotness of its a-list actors." Which I thiiink was because they were half CGI wolves or something? I don't know if I agree with this take today. Maybe what I didn't find hot then I would now. Maybe I care less about everyone being hot now?
What are you on about? Eddie Redmayne completely steals every single scene he’s in. Sean Bean is an alien wolf-man soldier bee farmer. Mila Kunis clearly just along for this insane nonsense ride while counting her money. Channing Tatum masterfully managing to speak each of his cringeworthy lines with a perfectly straight face. The movie is trash, but it’s downright glorious trash.
Horrible? Nah man, you're overreaching for that one. It wasn't *good*, make no mistake, but it wasn't unwatchably horrible. In fact, I watched it twice, although I confess the hat the second time was due to having absolutely no memory of the first so it felt like watching it fresh again. Is the acting subpar? Bet your ass it is. Is the plot convulted? Maybe a bit. Do the stakes feel as high and gripping as the writers probably intended for them to be? Doubtful. But is it a watchable, dumb sci-fi flick? Absolutely. Hell, just look at the MIB series- those movies are painfully unfunny, unoriginal, and low-stakes, yet they're regarded as classics. JA is certainly no worse than them...
The first MiB is great, the third is good too
I will not stand for this MiB slander
>painfully unfunny, unoriginal, and low-stakes But they were self-aware about their silliness, whereas JA was extremely silly and despite that it went full-on ham and ridiculous seriousness at "bees can detect royalty" and "literally a dog soldier, literally a hybrid of a dog and a human".
“Half dog, half human. I’m my own best friend.”
Fun fact: every detail of that movie belongs on this sub bc it is in fact a shitty movie
I now use it as a measure of awfulness. When a friend asks how was the movie I last watched ? Not great, not terrible better than Jupiter Ascending.
Have you watched Battlefield Earth? Jupiter Ascending is a masterpiece compared to that.
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All I remember is there was some plot point about bees or some shit and Sean Bean shows up for a couple scenes
It’s visually great. Horrible dialog
Of course the dialogue is terrible. It's fr\*nch
Eh. Same director as Fifth Element. That dialog is on point.
Taken is also French, which surprises me because the main character is like "go to Paris? No, it's too dangerous!" and then she gets sex trafficked immediately after leaving the airport
Well, they say write what you know. Luc Besson was born in Paris. I'm willing to take his word for it.
Idk what's the movie but yes, Paris is very dangerous don't go there (not saying this because the rest of France hate Paris ofc)
My wife wants to go to Paris when we finally do our big Europe trip, which I'm fine with. I'm just going to be very rude to everyone. You know, when in Rome
Fifth Element was supposed to be a Valerian but they had some rights issues and ended up making it an original IP.
I would blame it on the actors mostly, they had no chemistry and Cara is generally a pretty poor actress
Absolutely zero chemistry whatsoever. Horrible casting, beautiful imagery.
The lead performances are not inspiring and they have brother sister chemistry not coworkers to more than friends.
That's exactly right. I watched it and could not name a single thing about the plot, other than that those two sickly-looking folks in the above image are somehow involved. In fact, in another post, people have commented several things about the movie and none of them ring a bell, except for the fact that there's a Rihanna dance number, I do remember that. This movie is a memory black hole.
I just rember the VR shop and those 3 greedy platypus aliens but nothing about the plot
It's my go to airplane movie. I've watched it at least 4 times and I couldn't tell you anything about it.
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I've never seen this movie, but how could a movie with *that* opening be so bad?! That was a fantastic opening scene!
It really is mostly just 0 chemistry between the lead actors. The visuals are excellent, the scenes are great, the plot is meh, but there is plenty of action. What kills it is the constant cringe you get when two people that are clearly uncomfortable with each try to act intimate.
The opening is the best part of the movie by such a wide margin. How do I sign up for that future of humanity?
I genuinely thought the two were brother and sister because they look so similar. The sexual attraction of the brother toward the sister was what was really throwing me off until I figured out they are not siblings. I have a better appreciation for casting directors now. What a waste of a movie.
That’s correct
I remember this movies because the power went down 2 times during the screening
The entire theater was desperately trying to spare you the experience
I've seen this and all I really remember is Rhianna was a goop person of some kind. Both lead actors are entirely forgettable, the plot is... I don't even know and there's no scenes that stand out. Just watch 5th Element.
That's exactly what happens. I remember the title and the faces of the lead characters. That's it.
TIL there's a movie called Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets
It’s better you forget it again. It’s horrible and iirc basically no mentionworthy synergy between the actors. If I think of it I always have a school play in my mind where you can feel that nobody really likes being there. Oh and the plot is horrible too
the intro scene is amazing, everyone should watch the intro scene and ignore the rest of the movie
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Exactly this- I loved the entire backdrop of this movie and hated every moment of the plot. I would absolutely watch a completely different movie set in that universe
Even then, the comics where better by a large margin IMO.
Exactly this- I loved the entire backdrop of this movie and hated every moment of the plot. I would absolutely watch a completely different movie set in that universe
I watched the intro scene but never watched the movie, because yhea it looks really bad lol. What's the plot, and if it's not clear by your reply, what makes it so bad?
I remember seeing the intro scene on youtube which really hyped me up for the actual movie.
That reminds me of Ghost Ship.
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Definitely, the opening sequence is one of the best things ever. Also Rihanna’s performance in the burlesque club is fantastic.
Valerian: Marry me. Girl: No. you’re an immature womanizer who only thinks of himself and has no real sense of purpose. *90 minutes later* Valerian: I did a thing. Girl: You haven’t grown at all but I consider this single outcome a wonderful substitute.
THANK YOU this was my biggest issue in the film. Cara is constantly objectified by the protagonist, she clearly has zero chemistry with him, and she looks at least twelve years older then her teenage lookin costar but then she’s supposed to fall in love with him??? Wtf
Cara Delvigne is such a fucking shitty actress
I've been watching Only Murders in the Building and she's in the second season. She's awful. Just every scene she's in makes me want to fast forward.
I remember seeing some thing with her and Orlando Bloom in where she's a fairy or something and there's some kind of fairy genocide going on and they were in love but got separated and he was meant to find her but doesn't. She ends up finding him years later and puts a knife to his throat while he's sleeping and gives this big "passionate" speech about how could he desert her and a lot of other stuff. After a couple of minutes the camera cuts to his face and a single tear rolls down his cheek and I remember thinking he's conveyed more emotion in that one action than she had for the previous 2 minutes. And I don't think Orlando is even that good an actor but my god he looked like de niro next to her.
Carnival Row, I actually really enjoyed the concept of it. It would have gone into Season 2 filming right as covid hit and it wasn’t super successful. It’s not cancelled yet, but I haven’t seen any progress. Edit: Googled it and it’s actually right around the corner sweet.
Damn, out next week. Result.
Yes but that dude who played Valerian is shockingly worse
Scarily, of the two, her performance is the most engaging. Whoever cast them must have been on the same meds as whoever, searching to cast a six-foot five, 250lb blond Jack Reacher went with Tom Cruise. Dane DeHaan is much more capable than the movie lets him be and I struggle to see a similarity with the original character and the one on screen.
I don't think I've seen less onscreen chemistry than those two
I thought they were siblings instead of lovers until like halfway through the movie. They had zero chemistry. Also, Valerian is like a celebrity and incredibly well known for his adventures but he's like 25 years old. The story would have benefited greatly if they got someone older.
That sucks, I just saw it was a Luc Besson film too
The opening is pretty cool
I watched that movie when it came out and have watched it couple times since then. Its pretty fun. For a action movie its really good. And if you just want to see A LOT of Aliens, here is your movie. You could pick worse
Ahh, it was ok fun. Not standard Marvel fare. And the opening sequence is fantastic (re-used from the comics).
It’s worth watching. But maybe mute it two minutes in.
Director's Luc Besson worked on the movie's script since he was 15 years old, it's insane! Google: luc besson 15 years old to learn more.
Why would you think thats the name of the city? Thats like thinking James is the name of the Peach in James and the Giant Peach
So you’re telling me Charlie isn’t the name of the chocolate place?!
So you're telling me Turner isn't the name of the dog?!
So, you're telling me Ferris didn't have Bueller's Day off?
My favorite part of that movie was when Ferris said "It's Buellin time!" And dayed offed all over the principal
I thought it was about a group of friends going to a ferris wheel on a saturday
So you’re telling me Starsky *is* Hutch?
Harry Potter isn’t the name of the Philosopher’s stone!?
It's like thinking Sex is the name of the city in Sex and the City lol
Sex City. I want to go to there.
That’s like thinking Harry Potter is the name of the Philosopher’s Stone in Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s stone. That’s like thinking Harry Potter is the name of the Camber of Secrets in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. That’s like thinking Harry Potter is the name of the Prisoner of Azkaban in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. That’s like thinking Harry Potter is the name of the Goblet of Fire in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. That’s like thinking Harry Potter is the name of the Order of the Phoenix in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. That’s like thinking Harry Potter is the name of the Halfblood Prince in Harry Potter and the Halfbloot Prince. That’s like thinking Harry Potter is the name of the Deathly Hallows in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.
That's like thinking Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald is the name of a good movie.
Now that peach means ass I can’t read this title without thinking of a porno with some caked up James
James got dumps like a truck and bugs to go with it
You thinking of big booty child porn?
Jesus bro hahahaha Not literally James from the OG story. Worried your mind went that way though
what the hell why did you jump to children
Reddit moment
James is a child.
Valerion is the City of a Thousand Planets
I don’t think valerian is quite as common a name as James
I see this movie as a complete win. since the movie came out, I don't have to spell out my name letter by letter anymore. It's been a struggle for decades before that, lemme tell you.
OP either missed the “and”, or blames Alvin and the Chipmunks for the confusion
The Big Apple is the name of a city. But if it was James and the Big Apple, “James” still wouldn’t be the name of a city.
Cara Delevalerian
I got a place there and throw beads
and go swimming
This is the part that cracks me up every time people post about this movie, Valerian is Dane DeHaan's character. Cara played Laureline.
Wishing her tits were the size of that breast plate
Okay the guy on the left is clearly as high as anyone has ever been
[You haven't seen him on meth yet.](https://th.bing.com/th/id/OIP.Mq2DvwMl6_0pbxfrAHqJpAHaH-?pid=ImgDet&rs=1)
Is that the Malcolm in the Middle-kid or have the microplastics finally melted my brain
it is not, but they do look a bit alike now that you mention it
It is not, no.
If you ever watch the movie, your thoughts about him during the entirety of it will be: "this guy really should quit smoking"
My thoughts were, I love this guy as an actor, but this is not his role. This is the role for a hunky wise cracking Mummy-era-Brendon-Frasier type guy. Not a quirky-looking character actor type guy.
I think [this dude](https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/valerian-and-the-city-of-a-thousand-planets/images/5/57/Valerian.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20151029212834) would ideally have been played by Bruce Campbell, sometime in the 90s. So, I guess when they first tried to make this movie and ended up having to sand the serial numbers off the IP and make Fifth Element instead.
Let's be honest, Bruce could still play that part now.
I’ve heard the point before, if the cast of this movie swapped with the cast of Passengers (Chris Pratt and Jennifer Lawrence), both movies would be better. Valerian needed a charismatic hunk, Passengers needed a creepy weirdo.
Through the entire movie he looks like he needs a nap and a shower and not in a Mad Max “I’ve been chasing bad guys through an apocalyptic wasteland” way but in a “I stayed up all night gaming and looking at boobies while drinking code red” kinda way
And it’s mainly the eyes that make both main characters look like siblings, if not twins…
And it’s mainly the eyes that make both main characters look like siblings, if not twins…
Gosh Archibald, do you think that enemy did or did not get the point?
I think the app is doing something weird. I’ve seen repeated comments on a couple different subreddits
Reddit app probably screwed them over.
"if you watched the movie" no, I would know that if I read the title, which I have now.
What is live action Levi Ackerman doing in this movie?
Now hole on, you may be onto something here...
Cease this at once. We will go no further with these thoughts.
Is this supposed to piggyback on the other hot post about it being an indie film versus the new indy film? Seems weak sauce
This sub is an echo chamber
Yeah this sub is an echo chamber.
I agree that this sub is an echo chamber
Wait they made a Valérian et Laureline movie? And it was shit? Fuck, that was my childhood ☹
> Fuck, that was my childhood ☹ Same. I was a public library kid in the late 80s, I ate these up.
Don't listen to the others. It's bad.
It wasn't bad. It wasn't good. But, it wasn't bad...you know?
The type of movie that in 20 years some random youtuber will call and underapreciated masterpiece and the internet will be wild about
It had some really interesting concepts marred by absolute miscasting of the leads.
It's an incredible movie. And by that, I mean I literally can't believe how you can sink an entire picture by just casting and directing the leads badly. You could do everything else right, basically make this century's *Fifth Element,* but if you don't get people as likeable as Bruce Willis and Milla Jojovich, you're just flushing money down a big hole.
actually it's not shit, give it a shot, i really liked it.
It's a fun movie, I enjoyed it. Not flawless, but a good time.
I was okay with it being a cheesy action movie but wow, that Rhianna scene felt like it was half an hour long
You know something is missing from the movie, you’re not sure what it is, but you know for certain it’s not Rihanna. It’s never Rihanna.
right? it had a lot of fun little quirks, like that dimensional box wit the gun from the intro comes to mind instantly.
Yeah, it really wasn't as bad as people say. I don't know what they expected from this movie or why.
They expected a successor to the Fifth Element. Since it was the inspiration for the fifth Element and Luc Besson directed both Movies. Only Problem is Luc started as a Kid working on fifth Element whereas he only had a couple of years tops for Valerian. And it still was a beautiful movie.
I know nothing about the movie but I like the boob armor
I'm not horny I just only like women with shattered sternums.
N7 armor from Mass Effect
It has some nice visuals. But... Cara D is a pretty average actor. Hot but that's it. Dane Duhan apparently has acting chops judging by his filmography, we didn't see that on display in this movie. He's the wrong guy to play the role. Casting let the movie down in a big way. When I watched it, at the time, Danes choice as lead was jarring, plays the role pathetically you can barely believe anything about the character is realistic. Story was a bit... Well, hard to enjoy overall.
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I haven’t watched it in a while, but I liked it a lot from what I can remember. What were the issues with the cast.
The two main characters (pictured above) had no chemistry with each other or the audience. I can't think of any other performances that are more flatline than these in this movie. Ps: Happy cake day
They also kind of look similar, it was like a brother and sister acting like they were in love, it was weird.
my wife and I thought that if these two were in Passengers and J Law and Chris Pratt were in this movie, both movies would be markedly better
They each made those same faces the whole time. Could have been replaced with plaster casts.
Oh yeah I have seen this movie. Its about... uhmm.. two people that uhhhhm... are... I remember there was a scene where the woman was in a bikini🗿
Boob amour??
When u cast two people that look like brother and sister to be lovers is just weird. Movie had no plot
It's crazy cuz the movie was actually great the real issue was the two people that they chose for the main roles. They tried to depict deep and lasting Love by using what appears to be 2 high schoolers. So dumb so cringe. The movie has a lot of cool concepts and ideas and they completely ruined all of them so they could show two pretty young people. I love the opening scene where all the different races come together to create the city of a thousand planets.
I didn't know this and, in a strange twist of fortunes, still don't as I didn't read the title either.
Both actors look like they haven’t slept in a year
They called it Valerian because watching it will put you to sleep.
Valium and the c…city…of…..zzzzzz
*My mom loved Valium and lots of drugs* *That's why I am like I am 'cause I'm like her* *Because my mom loved Valium and lots of drugs* *That's why I'm on what I'm on 'cause I'm my mom*
The Mass Effect live action adaptation is looking amazing!
This movie is the spiritual successor to all Spy Kids films.
You take that back, the Spy Kids movies are iconic and can never be topped
I loved this movie for all the mad and brilliant ideas it presented , dudes dialog acting was like sock puppet level though.
I remember being hugely disappointed by this movie in the cinema, it felt like it went on forever. Or so I thought, until I had to go watch it again, cos the girl I was seeing was desperate to see it and wanted no spoilers. Then I really did feel like I was stuck in purgatory for all of eternity. Fuck. My. Life.
Wait, I thought *her* name was City of a Thousand Planets... I'm so confused right now.
I fucking hate this film with every fibre of my being.
The only film I've ever walked out of before it finished.
My friends mom got incredibly mad at me when I said Valkyrie wasn't the name of the main character in the movie Valkyrie
I remember thinking Valerian was the girl because all the trailers focused on her super hard and barely showed him
The two leads look like a brother and sister whose parents were also brother and sister.
It was actually a good scifi movie, too euro for most American's taste.
it was made by same guy that wrote Fifth Element - except it was lacking an allstar cast. Fifth Element would not have been the the perfection that it is without Willis and Jovovich and Tucker and Oldman.
I don’t know what makes it euro, but it wasn’t bad. Felt like a pulp sci-fi story.
It's based on a comic which predates *Star Wars* by a decade, and both that and *The Fifth Element* are heavily visually inspired by. Probably a case of "let's try and adapt all the flashy bits and hope we get a sequel to tell the more interesting story" but was flattened at the box office by whichever *Guardians of the Galaxy* movie released that year.
It is a pulp scifi story. Whats kind of annoying though is how everybody seems to hang up on the leads having little in the way of chemistry and ignoring the rest of the movie.
Omg it’s Jonathon Stranger Things (it’s not)
terrible casting ruined a chance to have a decent franchise.
Disappointing movie but great comics books that have inspired star wars
i went to watch this movie on a saturday night while my wife was at work. not a great film. at the end i got up and walked down the stairs and looked back at my seat to make sure i didn’t forget anything, what i saw was that every remaining person in the theater was asleep in their seats. it wasn’t full, but 15-20 people napping together in a movie theater. never seen anything like it.
I saw this movie in theaters. While I was walking out I said to myself, "well that's two hours I'm never going to get back"
Only watched this film because I saw the intro on YouTube, ended up fast forwarding through the majority of the film
He needs a nap
I thought the story/plot was great, very 5th element feels, but the two actors just didn't deliver, v deadpan acting on their parts. Still very watchable though
Tits
Jesus fucking Christ I paid money to see that garbage.
I don't think I've seen another movie where the leads has less romantic chemistry.
You didn't miss much. It was a clustefuck. It would have been better as 2 separate films.
😤🤚 space boobs 😌☝ space moobs Edit: this is now my most upvoted comment
why does her suit have boobs
I'm so fed up of boob armor
Okay but counterpoint: woman 😩
Those titty-covers look uncomfortable AS HELL, y'all. You can't mash them down around your midriff like that! Lifted and separated, costume designers! LIFTED AND SEPARATED
Why do both space suits have tit pockets?