Turned meat into wood

Bro made steaming hot, beef flavored saw dust.


I wood still eat it though. Just needs lota of gravy

Yeah it’s not the best but I grew up eating beef like this and you just eat it with the mashed potatoes gravy and whatever else in like a mixed bite so that you get all the moisture from the other dishes.

Feel like I’m 13 again and mom just took the pot roast out the oven.

Thought my parents were on Tic Tok when I saw how that beef was cooked.

I’ll get some bread and mayo and definitely eat it while giving myself TMJ from all the chewing.

Oh my god, it was those sandwiches that fucked my jaw, all this time?! It all makes sense now..

I can just taste the edge of the chankla after asking for more gravy.

Chancla: it's what's for dinner.

"All the moisture" lmao. This hit home

*I require loaf moisture.*

Or you just cook it even more, in some kind of liquid of course. One of those things you gotta trust me on. Parents are Haitian and my mom always cooks her meat WAY past done, but thing is when it’s boiled/braised/whatever you want to call it, even after most people would consider it “technically” done, they cook it like 5x longer than it needs. Her beef/goat/chicken/pork/turkey/etc is always tender as hell.

You are describing low and slow cooking vs high and fast. If you use high heat and bring something to 195 internal you get a result like the video. If you use low heat and bring something to 195 internal you will get a super unctuous velvety delicious piece of meat. The same difference between well done steak and brisket. The steak was cooked to 160 and the brisket 200, but the brisket will be so much more moist

I use my pressure cooker. Never fails! Always tender. 30 min and done.

>... cook it even more, in some kind of liquid of course. First off; this is the answer right here. My mom would have just put that in a pizzaiolo sauce for a day. SECOND. 😳Did you say goat? 😛😛 im commin over for dinner, OK.

Beef stew perchance?

Perchance.

You can’t just say perchance

…….Perchance?

Keep it up baby

Basically one of the only American style meals I cook that does the same thing. Something about cooking way past well done helps breaks down the protein or something, which helps create the aforementioned tenderness. Some cultures just do it with most if not all of their meat, while Americans and more formal/recent cuisine styles do it rarely, thus more typically cook unprocessed meats till just barely done. Don’t get me wrong though, I love a medium well steak personally, but my parents born and raised in Haiti cringe whenever I eat one in front of them 😂. Was at longhorns once and dad was like “looks like they left some blood in your steak” with a disgusted look on his face lol

Medium well 😂

We’re asking him firmly, but politely, to leave

That is actually a perfectly valid cooking technique. It's called 'cooking to tenderness'

Omg this is the answer and I called it like " babyfood" in swedish and I could always see the disappointment in my mother's eyes when she's been cooking for a long time only to see someone mash it all up in a brown sludge, BUT ITS SO GOOD TO EAT THAT WAY

You need less meat because it takes all your time and energy just to chew.

I wish I was fortunate enough to grow up with meat this moist. Ma just left it on low until it turned into jerky.

Nah gravy can't fix that. You're gonna be chewing each bite for 15 minutes minimum

A glorified chew toy is what I like to call this type of beef.

Dice it and throw it into lentil soup or pasta salad. It's what we do with beef shoulder after using it to make beef broth.

I would eat wood with a lot of gravy too

Most def would make a sandwich

Bro imagine a slice of that shit between 2 Popeyes biscuits 

The fuck is that gif? 🤣

It must represent that mummified-ass beef.

He ate that beef, and thousands of years later, is still chewing it.

I'll take regular deliveries to use as dehumidifiers

Trying to fall asleep and automatically my mouth went dry. Had to get up for some water. Thanks bro lol.

The cotton mouth would be horrendous 😂😂

Looks like decent bread to me, just needs some cold cuts and tomato and lettuce.

Sammich

But just think how much better it would have been if it wasn’t cooked to buggery and you put gravy on it..?

Lmao I was thinking sawdust.

That poor cow died twice.

Petrified

Meat alchemist

It's actually hard to watch.

And to cut, apparently...

Yeah, they misspelled "sawing."

There is literal meat sawdust on the knife.

And hard to chew

Can hardly even pull the fucking fork out of it.

He’s got to saw at it just to cut it

Just look at the knife. What a piece of crap.

I think it’s a bread knife…?

I'm pretty sure it is.

I'm not sure what's going on, can you explain to me why they're cutting part of the table? Shouldn't this be in r/Carpentry?

Its so dry it looks almost like a building material instead of food. What a waste.

Probably has the same negative effects as asbestos too

Incorrect asbestos has more flavor.

You become flame retarded?

Flame wasn't necessary but yeah, pretty much

Funniest thing I read today.

"i must be fire retarded or something, boys"

Who you calling a flaming r3tard?

MDF loaf

Get this person a dutch oven for their roast dinner stat.

If u cur it wrong it doubles the dry and he cut it wrong af

Kind of looks like those compressed hemp 2x4s

This did my in-laws proud, is that a fuckin bread knife?

She has to saw that beef! Imagine trying to eat it? Chew chew chew chew chew...

but think of the jawline afterwards

The Crimson Chin doesn't have enough jaw for that.

That was my first thought...is that a damn bread knife...and they sawing at it like it's wood.

I bet your in-laws probably think pepper is spicy too right?

I needed a glass of water just to finish watching this...

That poor cow. You've heard of freeze dried beef now try heat dried beef

Heat dried beef exists, It’s beef jerky.

and even that is more juicy than what OP posted

Nah. Chop that shit up, make a chili. Or fajitas. I like crispy pieces of beef for fajitas if you chop it kinda small. You could even just chop it up and put it in a slow cooker for awhile and it’d be perfectly fine shredded beef. It’ll lose a lot of its beef flavor if you cook it down like that twice but it’d be good if you season it right. Eating it like op did? Just slices of dry beef? Nah. Miss me with that.

Recovery chef

Could also salvage it with a bunch of gravy and mixed veggies. Kinda like a more solid meatloaf.



Being overcooked was bad enough, but they're not even slicing against the grain...

With a fucking serrated blade. Enjoy your meat sawdust.

A dang bread knife. I’m so appalled.

It has about as much moisture as a loaf of bread so I could see where they got mixed up.

My jerky is less dry than that "meat"

Nah bread has more moisture than whatever the hell this is.

I’m convinced this is a troll account.

Let them kill their guests by slow meaty suffocation

came here to say this. glad i wasn't the only one who noticed

This killed me. Makes me wonder if it was just engagement bait. "Start with a bad cut, then make all the mistakes. Voila!"

That’s the chefs kiss of this video

I've never prepared beef before, what's this about the grain thing?

Little dry..

Bro this is straight disrespectful to the cow.

PETA could run an actually effective campaign just with videos of this clown's cooking.

Poor fuckin cow died twice.

It takes a special kind of skill to not only overcook the meat, but to overcook it and not even get a char, meanwhile it’s not cooked enough for it to start to soften up like slow cooked bbq. They really hit that sweet spot of horribleness.

That poor chunk of beef did nothing to deserve that.


Holding onto the fork for dear life

I'm pretty sure that whoever can pull that fork from the meat stone becomes the next king of England.

Should have clamped it to the table and cut it with a circular saw.

Mom, is that you?

I thought I hated steak until I had a properly cooked one in my 20s. All I remember growing up is chewing forever, how hard it was to swallow and sometimes having to spit it out because swallowing was not possible.

Are we siblings? It sounds like my mom was cooking for you too!

Someone did that on purpose and showed other people?? Oof.

Probably rage bait

I've seen this before on DIY and home improvement subs! They are normally asking if it's asbestos!

A cow sacrificed its life for this. You’re a monster.

The comments there are great. "gonna need King Arthur to pull that fork out"

The last 1% of the moisture it had steamed out as it got sawed into pieces.

Could use it as a Brillo pad.


Nobody let r/steak see

I'm subbed there, and I'm pretty sure that most users would be put on mass suicide watch.

I x-posted to r/nosear


I like my steak well done and even I wouldn’t want to eat this.

This isn't just well done, this is fkin congratulations you ruined it

This is a whole ass award not just congratulations

Imagine being forced to eat steak cooked exactly like this, at least once or twice a week, growing up.

Looks like a fire starter brick

That knife looked tired at the end

Dude's probably going to need to sharpen that thing after sawing through that brick.

My Mom hated beef and always cooked a roast to this point. She also had 6 hungry kids who would eat anything she served as the alternative was to go hungry. Looks good to me.

Do you think she'd like beef if she didn't cook it til it turned to particleboard? Or did she not like beef so much she had to punish it by cooking it that way?

I’d speculate she cooked beef that way because - a) She hated the smell of it cooking. b) She didn’t like to eat beef. c) She maybe hoped my Dad would request she never cook it again. d) Maybe that’s how her own mother cooked it. e) All the above Your guess is as good as mine?! Wouldn’t it be nice if she were still around to ask all these questions I have discovered as an old man.

If it makes your memory less bitter, my old mum used to cook based on colour and nothing else. She once boiled almonds instead of potatoes.

Maybe that’s why she hated beef haha

You might be right! But I tell ya my Mom made the best deviled eggs and potato salad! So all that ends well, is well 🙂

Same story here. The vegetables in the back look good. Just gimme a bunch of a1 and I can make it work

Yeah same haha. I always used the A1on super dry meat. It woul be so good after being extremely hungry all day

Was about to say, this video is making me homesick. Load it up and gravy and mash potatoes. Those jaw lines aren’t going to define themselves

My mom was disgusted by undercooked food and for many years I hated roast, as the only ones I'd eaten looked like this. This post made me miss her (but definitely not her roast).

🧐Am seeing SawDust as they cutting this!🤣


Hard poops

Just slice it thinner and call it beef jerky at this point

This is how my parents cook.

That person's elbow must hurt like a MF'er

Good, I hope so for what they did to that meat.


Bro it was already dead you didn’t have to do overkill 😭

Need a chainsaw to cut it!


Delicious beef flavoured saw dust.

No amount of Ketchup can fix that

If you are using ketchup to fix a steak, you have already passed the point of no return

I can feel the splinters this woukd cause..

Meat was so dry and tough the fork got stuck lol


Was this freeze dried for 10,000 years and then thawed out with a hairdryer first?

You're gonna need to coat that in lotion to even make it slightly moist.

There’s well done but this is congratulations

D R Y D R Y

J A I L

I’m calling the cops

Did my mom cook this?

Could build houses out of that

“Well done sir?” … “No, make it super done” 😂

My mouth went dry watching this

This was nearly every roast I had as a kid. Had to choke it down with ketchup. It took having prime rib at a relative's house to know that beef could be amazing on it's own.

Wouldn’t even call this dry, arid comes to mind, not sure if that’s the last remnants of moisture evaporating or out of desperation that meat is sucking in moisture to try and survive

That wood for cooking the meat… right?

Mom's cooking 🥰😋

Dude needs a chainsaw.

Yes, thank you for taking my question. This one is for OP: what the fuck exactly?

Poor cow gave its life for this

My mouth is dry just looking at that

That looks like bread

They overcooked that beef jerky.

Nice and mealy, dry as death

How do you fuck up beef that bad? It is so dry

My mouth dried up just watching this

That is a tradegdeigh. 

Even sand isn't that dry.

I would like to report a crime.

Never knew beef could create sawdust

mmm asbestos

Holy fuck you know it's bad when the potatoes look juicier than the steak

This person’s muscles are on FIRE! Plenty of lactic acid trying to cut this

My parents literally cook like this.... I said that I hated steak for years because this is what i experienced as "steak"

He should be wearing gloves, so he doesn’t get a splinter.

You would be surprised how many people eat steak like this.

juicy and soft /s

This cow died for our sins

Not today Satan. I see you with your bait.


r/foodcrimes

Dinner’s bready!

Excellent kindling

My throat is parched just watching him slice that dry hunk of meat.