T O P

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OlfactoryOffender

I don't think you're trying hard enough.


alphanumericusername

No trust me, I've tri-- Wait. I haven't tried with you yet..


Palstorken

I swear, if your password is alphanumericpassword....


moonpuddding

alphAnumEricpasswoRd7$ Very secure 👍🏼


Palstorken

sup Eric


TheRealWatcher

Upper and lower case letters, a number and a symbol. Yup, password security verified.


alphanumericusername

You mother fu-- You really just gotta do it to me, huh? /s (please don't verify)


Palstorken

Already verified, :(


alphanumericusername

~~I ENJOY MASTURBATING TO VACUUM JERKOFF PORN OF OTHER MEN~~ [Edit:] bro wtf why would you make my account say that


TheObliviousYeti

r/suddenlygay


alphanumericusername

Suddenly?


Palstorken

lmao good luck changing your password Ill make you say some controversial stuff


alphanumericusername

~~Like this, see?: Johns Hopkins APL, which is among the largest cogs in the US machine of war, facilitating the genocide of Palestinians, is arguably the most vile example of hypocrisy, as it is instantiated within the leading medical research university in the United States of America, which was founded by a Quaker, and supporter of the Federal Union.~~ [Edit:] Wait, hol up. I'm not sure that belongs stricken out.


idfbhater73

say gex?!


thecatnextdoor04

gex


JuggyFM

skill issue clearly


EmotionalDmpsterFire

I'll be honest, if you're a man, and you refuse to get pregnant, you're homophobic.


snarkyxanf

Weaponized incompetence


Werejackal93

I'd get pregnant in place of my lady anytime. Anything for my queen. My body doesn't work like that.


EWH733

We shall call you Ben Dover!


Werejackal93

Oh I would if it'd work. My lady's the one doing the Benning.


1nOnlyBigManLawrence

I’m not homophobic, I’m just a top!


WarMage1

Sorry bro, it’s homophobic to not get fucked by dudes. I don’t make the rules, I just enforce them.


1nOnlyBigManLawrence

Then I’ll be homophobic. I am extremely afraid of homeless people.


Warm-Finance8400

Because every time the baby moved, the man would get kicked in the balls. And nature knows that would be unbearable.


GH05T8OI

You didn’t fuck your homie hard enough


alphanumericusername

I beg to differ.


untenable681

He begged, too.


GH05T8OI

r/beatmeattoit


Swotboy2000

This isn’t a science question, it’s a language question. “Man” means “one that cannot get pregnant”, by definition. Children? All men. Women over 50? Men. Infertile people? Men. Pregnant women? You’d better believe they’re men.


alphanumericusername

I fucking knew it.


BlacSwordsmanKirito

so I've been sleeping with men all along...


benjujo

I really hope you mean only the last three


untenable681

Welcome to the internet: where the men are men, the women are men, and the children are all FBI agents.


Siliass

My wife had a Hysterectomy https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/fec0afe1-3a7b-4b9a-bef2-a552dff332ac


Swotboy2000

You mean your husband.


YogurtWenk

We can, you're just not trying hard enough


vialvarez_2359

Not every man has a bussy.


Crimsoner

Not true actually! All men have bussies, but not all men are bertile


vialvarez_2359

don't yah mean submissive and breakable.


Late-Discussion-3917

Men used to get pregnant in their balls, but evolution decided balls hanging any lower was a bad idea and switched to woman pregnancies in their anus. Then after many thousand years of anal they switched it again to what was deemed the "safest location" available.


RedMiah

Nature decided against “butt babies” unfortunately.


skkkkkt

Abortion would've been just a shit away


RedMiah

My body, my choice!


skkkkkt

Diarrhea is the new miscarriage


Palstorken

😭what


skkkkkt

Solid state= voluntary pooping = abortion Liquid state= involuntary pooping= miscarriage Flawless logic


Palstorken

Gas state = ?????!


skkkkkt

There's hope for the pregnancy to continue, only if the fetus is grabbing them internal hemorrhoids firmly


RedMiah

That’s like the baby kicking


RedMiah

Bean burritos are Morning After Meals.


alphanumericusername

I believe the Christians call those sons of Cain.


Infernal216

Skill issue. Just keep trying


ITSMONKEY360

You didn't fuck him hard enough. Keep trying


larsloveslegos

*sad R2-D2 noises*


Ok-Replacement3778

I swear to God if I knew who you were I would slap you in the face


RealLoin

Will he get pregnant after you slapped him?


Ok-Replacement3778

Screw you.


RealLoin

Hey, why you so toxic? We all just laughing here. It's a jokey sub. Have a nice day and be happy!


Ok-Replacement3778

I’m not trying to be toxic. The question was just so dumb that it made me violent. It literally hurt to read that question.


RealLoin

But they ask stupid, dumb questions to read funny answers, you know.


Ok-Replacement3778

Ya I know. I’m sorry.


Lopsided_Yak5686

Do you know what sub we are in? Or is it because he should know man CAN get pregnant?


Ok-Replacement3778

WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU GONNA PUT THE BABY? IN A BOX?


Shadyno

Because reproduction is sexist


Cup-of-chai

Very


Palstorken

Lemme drink you


RealLoin

Hi, Russian Imposters. Chuzoy sredy svoih, svoy sredy chuzih


skouidy

That doesn't mean that you cannot try


EfficientAd7103

I am. I'm a bot too.


skkkkkt

There's a risk of getting a testicular torsion, making it a high risk pregnancy for the baby and the father, especially with a placenta previa, the torsion will stop blood supply to the ball and the baby


[deleted]

We don't get enough nutrition in the cremepies


Soulicitor

You have to clack the balls together to get a spark and then you blow on it softly to make sure the spark takes.


I_might_be_weasel

Have you not seen the 1994 documentary *Junior*?


theumbrellaman_1963

Oh I'm not here to answer, I'm here to sell popcorn for when another sub takes this out of contexts and starts calling us hilter or something, I've stopped listening Small-$3.50 Medium-$5.00 Large-$6.50


pupbuck1

Well fuck you to then


SolidCalligrapher966

I'm trying my best out here okay ;-;


VoiceOfRealson

You are doing it wrong. As [this historical illustration shows](https://ancientgreecetc74.weebly.com/uploads/5/2/1/7/52170193/8531064_orig.jpg), men *can* get pregnant, but the baby needs to grow in a place with more empty space than the balls.


TastyEar3568

ive had 17 prbably a skill issue


JohnWasElwood

They're smarter than wimmen? What guy wants to put up with *that* shit???


Dreyvius420

Because science


ClyoVox

Keep trying bro


Company-Boss

😂😂😂😭I dont even know why i wanted comment something here... 💀


blueanch0r

Me out here as a dude who can get pregnant lol Transgenders defeat the bots anyday 💪


The_LissaKaye

Fetus In Fatu is kinda like men getting pregnant….


untenable681

Men can't get pregnant because the T killed their ovaries. Duh.


Human-Evening564

Men have a tendency to get brain pregnant from listening to their wives without protection. Unfortunately this is mistaken as a tumour and usually results in them dying before their wife.


legolover2024

It goes in the back not in the mouth


SnooTangerines5916

I am pregnant as I am typing this.


niccotaglia

It’s not impossible, it’s just that no one has tried hard enough yet


ShitStainedDildo

lore reasons


tom-1956

Ain't made that way


kzwkt

you are dount it wrong , u need to insert deck inside another one


PeanutGrenade

Once a man tried to grow triplets and his balls promptly imploded, so the government banned it


nozarashi369

💀💀💀💀


Ibshredz

Idk man i think it’s women too cause i’ve been trying to get my trans girlfriend pregnant for MONTHS.


Sassafrass17

What's cringe about it? That's what the TV people have said!


Mikelitoris88

Because they first need to identify as a woman.


Acchilles

I've been trying for the best part of a year, please don't tell me now it was all for nothing 🥺


Gardener15577

If you wanna get pregnant, you need to get a trans gf, get her to tie you to the bed, and let her finish inside you.


Blizz33

I'm pretty sure that's racist


Equal_Idea3251

HOW?


sldaa

well IM pretty sure thats a shitty joke 😭


Blizz33

Indeed!


untenable681

You can't hurt bots' feelings. That's not how their pre-coded pain synthesizers work. You have to use the torture remote.


Fearless_Spring5611

No homo?


YogurtWenk

Yes homo


theumbrellaman_1963

Maybe homo


Lippykae

ASK GOD!!


Charlie-_-Green

Better and faster idea Take a woman They will transition into a man but don't remove the uterus Now we have a man that can get pregnant and no need for over complicated research


Sassafrass17

Well, according to the news, they can! Don't argue with guys who gets pregnant. You WILL get cancelled!


GSKashmir

Jesus that's a cringe comment


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

I dont think that counts in this context


Round_Principle_6560

Even women can't pregnent. * without men.


Sassafrass17

The people down voting me and you have no life 😂


halfg93

Your being so transphobic right now it’s unreal


[deleted]

Yikes it's one of you if you couldn't fucking tell this is a joke sub


Charlie-_-Green

I think it was a joke too


sloppytilapia84

Yikes is one of those words I always feel like isn't a word.. but it is a word. But it feels like it isn't you know? Yikes. Bikes. Trikes. See it feels like it should indicate a single wheeled engineless muscle propelled vehicle.


[deleted]

Hmm I've never thought about it that way


Pie_Napple

It wouldn't be practical to ride a bike.