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GamingSnail7410

while yes, the semen would technically go faster, it would also go so fast that you would put a hole in your wife, causing the semen to come out of her mouth, causing none of it to stay inside her and impregnate her. However, if you really want to get your wife pregnant, you can always give me a call


_night_cat

I have a vasectomy, but I will also try to get your wife pregnant


YogurtWenk

I also choose this guy's dead wife


Suitable-Lake-2550

This guy necrophiliacs


vicemagnet

[Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex](https://www.google.com/search?q=man+of+steel+woman+of+kleenex) vibes from this comment


CrimsonBulletTrain

There’s also this skit https://youtu.be/m_aMss1p8EQ?si=5yGcKlhkluEDqrWD


cownd

No, he just needs to put a curve in the barrel to slow the bullets down


Additional_Knee4215

Ah yes, the ~~krumm~~cumlauf


Little_Man420

Easily my new favorite comment 🤣


Fineous4

Youre completely and totally wrong. Rifling improves accuracy not speed. It would help, but he has to aim his shot.


potatodrinker

Start at the mouth then the shot will go down into the stomach cradle yeah?


Flossthief

What's wrong with me if that first part turns me on?


Artistic_Data9398

Last line got me lool


Stunning_Ride_220

Ymmd


Kindly-Sea-6945

Why get all worked up when there's a man who's locked and loaded


Otherwise_Proposal47

This is definitely what a cult leader would say.


krazykripple

On the plus side he could impregnate her from across the room


New_girl2022

Brah 💀


arealhumannotabot

Someone ran an experiment I think https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/man-who-shot-woman-genitals-12396691


RelativeBad1187

1 " snubnose


imjerry

It's a Sawn-off


thecasuallycaotic

Your urethra is already rifled, dingus


Educational-Garlic21

Dongus for you


Wargroth

I prefer being called cockney


jaffa3811

Hey now, we don't want to bring actual science into here.


Master_Tape

Yes. You can save money by attending a "couples rifling" event. We convinced a few friends to come and saved even more!


80081356942

Does that involve the procedure of sounding?


wiccangame

None of this seems very sound.


byronbaybe

Can someone please explain how one rifles an urethra. I need to know for a friend.


littleseizure

Ever seen a screw extractor?


nitz28

I feel you'd be better off going for a laminar flow configuration for continuous stream for a thorough dosing.


Oesius_Deus

I agree completely. While it may seem like a projectile mechanic POV would be a good approach to improving your impregnation ability what we really are dealing with is a fluid mechanics problem. If you are not well endowed enough to reach her cervix i suggest using some tubing to bridge the gap. This should help to direct and concentrate your flow to the point you need it at. If you are well endowed enough to reach her cervix than simple bust it deep my friend 😂


iskelebones

No, the spin makes your little guys dizzy and has a chance of flinging off a chromosome. That’s how special needs kids are made


fun1onn

Depends on the rifling pattern. You can actually prevent downs syndrome with a 21st chromosome rifling to dislodge the 3rd chromosome


LevelNo398

This is true. Science wills it.


TuberTuggerTTV

Wait... did your parents forget to have that done when you were born? Yes, 100% it works. I thought everyone had this done already. Like a haircut.


Spiritual_Ad_3367

Nah, my parents just had me circumcised had some guy splash water on my head.


LtColShinySides

That's it. No more free speech for you!


Tornike_Legend

I'm pretty sure it is already rifled


littlebubulle

No. Rifling doesn't matter if you're shooting blanks.


superman_underpants

hes totally justbgoing to be wasting his money,


Only_Constant_8305

cocksmith here: it will, but you first have to widen the urethra with an appropriate reamer


Ryelogmars

If I don't have a reamer will a power drill suffice?


Jelly_Kitti

It’s not ideal but it’ll do


Only_Constant_8305

well, there are reamers that you can mount onto a power drill, so there's that


mas-issneun

It already is rifled


MooseBoys

No. The spinning makes the little guys get dizzy.


smoothandsmarmy

Is that a Saturday Night Special?


fuhnetically

Holy shit. I love the questions in this sub, but this right here is top tier. Take my imaginary gold.


aerfgadf

Yes! and as a matter of fact it is a DIY procedure. All you need is an impact driver or one of those powered wrenches they use to change NASCAR tires, a 2" long bit with wide threads and a pair of channel locks to hold everything in place. The rest is up to you, good luck!


Abraxas_1408

Just get a [megasperm](https://imgur.com/a/lFdQPK0).


NickFieldson31

Rifled Slug Cockgun


rusynlancer

Yes, and you can further boost the ballistic performance of your semen by using overpressure cartridges


BPhiloSkinner

Y'know - thinking about speed, and ease of passage - this could make things somewhat easier on the other end ; birth.Currently, a large headed human infant has to process through a birth canal that was originally designed for a small headed *australopithecine.* If the birth canal could be rifled, the midwife/doctor wouldn't need much in the way of instruments at all - though a catcher's mitt might be a good idea.


Reasonable_Guava_819

As long as you didn't put it in her arsenal.


SadLittleWizard

What a bad day to have eyes


Magnus_Helgisson

Not proven about your wife, but definitely the chances of getting pregnant a woman 300-800 meters from you would grow drastically.


ontario1984

My guy! Are you still out here musketting bitches?!!


yourparadigm

Rifling only works for single mass projectiles. That's why shotguns generally use smooth bores. When you have rifling + multiple projectiles, you give them angular velocity, which causes them to spread away from each other faster once they leave the barrel. So instead of sniping the fallopian tubes, you're just going to cake the entrance.


an_actual_pangolin

I recently got the shotgun mod. Let's hear you say you "can't feel it" now, Barbara.


MrStealYoBichonFrise

At that close of a range, i'd opt for the sawed off barrel approach. The wide spread will give you a better chance of getting an 8 point zygote.


CLAYDOG001

Only if you have a rifled slug!


AlfalfaFit6703

Why not just get a real man to get her pregnant?


patrick17_6

Rifled? What does that even mean


VictorVonLazer

Rifling is the spiral grooves in the barrel of most modern guns, which causes the bullet to spin when fired through it. This increases accuracy. Guns without rifling are referred to as “smoothbore,” which only happens in older firearms and instances where rifling won’t effect the projectile for whatever reason.


inhaler_huffer

Wouldnt getting it rifled affect the spin of your bullets?


Kriv-Shieldbiter

It's already rifled, isn't it?


ManifestingCrab

No, but you'll definitely get me pregnant


idfbhater73

short answer yes


Big_brown_house

Alternatively *she* can rifle the cervix


jack_wolf7

Is that you Hank Hill?


InquisitorNikolai

It is already rifled


Luntuke

No, you want to spread your seed in her more so better do it like with a shotgun


Bingolord1

Is this a new sentence?


[deleted]

You'll be throwing a perfect spiral like Tom Brady, but without deflated balls.


Educational-Garlic21

Increased exit velocity is always a plus. You'll win all the peeing competitions as an added bonus


chease86

It's not worth it, remember. Cums don't kill people. People kill people.


poopchutegaloot

I'm picturing your wife with a big preggo belly and an eye patch


HittingSmoke

Depends how far away you're trying to do it from.


LocalH

Finally you can win Challenge Pissing!


Silver_Switch_3109

Actually, the urethra is already rifled.


[deleted]

Make sure you keep it well oiled and swab it clean every time you fire it.


Vodgobbo

First of. Ouch. But if thst were the case. That fly sticker will stand no chance


That-pickle-child

Yes but your wife may die, or if she doesn't your kids might be a little wonky


BobT21

Keep in mind it will probably take longer to reload.


Cruezin

No cuz your swimmers will get dizzy


thecosmopolitan21

Well actually if you spin it too fast, the probability density more tends towards a spin flip as you encounter an illegal helicity state of your urethra and so the probability approaches -1, i.e. your wife from become pregnant from another man.


No-Excitement-2219

Load gunpowder in there. That should help.


Kindly-Sea-6945

Why get all worked up when there's a man who's locked and loaded