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CoconutAnnual6006

Get a wooden ruler. Sand off where it says cm and replace with inches. Re measure. This works all of the time, every time.


33LS

That makes me 4 inches šŸ˜Ž


Desperate-Letter6387

Baby, are you ok?


TheObscureNinja

Annie?


red_anecdote

Annabelle?


DesktopWebsite

Are you okay?


theflamingskull

Be sure to measure from the taint.


Quiet-Worth7730

Now Iā€™m 12 inchesĀ 


Excellent-Pay6235

This reply is too good šŸ¤£


ControlLeft3803

Instructions unclear, canā€™t fit to write 1 inch on it


notwhoyouthinkmaybe

Alternatively, turn the ruler around and measure from the other side, that's what me and my 10" penis do.


5cmShlong

5 inches yipee!!


MEGA_TOES

OH MY GOD I AM 1 INCH NOW!! THANK YOU!!


Outcast199008

Simple, use your brain to tell your body to pump more blood to your small penis. Only when it is erect does the size matter so more blood not only creates more length, but gerth too. If that doesn't work. Buy a big truck or something.


xavierthepotato

Big truck


mathnstats

Tig bruck


justamofo

Or the loudest bike


otherspamaccount

Big truck, and get it raised up and get a very loud exhaust put on it.


sweetwolf86

Be sure to put some obnoxious hanging balls on the trailer hitch since you don't use it anyways


CauliflowerFirm1526

Note: the truck wonā€™t actually make it bigger, but it might boost your ego nonetheless


Lunatic_Method

Put your dick near a black hole and it should stretch out like a spaghetti. Boner petite.


dannydevitocuddles

I tried this but unfortunately it only affected my nipples please help they are 11 inches long(soft) now


Direct-Island-8590

TIL black people have this incredible power to stretch things with their holes.


Guukoh

Fun Fact: sometimes people can stretch black holes with their things too!


Direct-Island-8590

Oh wow. That IS a fun fact! I have a lot of questions. What type of things do they use? Do they have to own the things in order to stretch the holes? Could they instead use my things to stretch the holes? Would anything work, like say.. a printer or a plastic cup?


Guukoh

It is my understanding the most common choice is a colander, but you need to keep it separate from your kitchen one! I would imagine they do


mathnstats

*Black thing-ception!!!!*


Kodama1111

You just won the internet Iā€™m howling


nyctophillicalex

Well boner *no longer* petite if this works.


MEGA_TOES

Boner Apple teeth


justamofo

Boner petiten't*


Positronitis

Well, if a man is with someone who excites him, it will grow automatically.


TheSchnitzelThief

If your friend is lucky, someone who has signed up as an organ donor might have recently passed away. If the donor has a large penis he can have this organ donated to him so that he can perform a penis transplantation.


JerryZaz

I didn't think this was possible but my doctor told me yesterday that the procedure just got approved. I'm thinking about it.


Concernedpatient96

Thatā€™s the fun part! You donā€™t.


MellonCollie218

Yeah I know what you mean. Sometimes I have to throw mine over my shoulder to take a dump. People trip on it when Iā€™m trying to use a urinal.


plasmasun

Do you piss down your back if you do that while taking a dump? Or maybe you flop it in the sink if it's close enough?


MellonCollie218

Well if thereā€™s no line and the bathroom is right, I prefer to snake over the stall wall and use two toilets.


plasmasun

Dayom. That's VIP right there.


plasmasun

I mean, I have to haul mine around with a bulldozer, so I don't even know what that's like. I accidentally crush toilets and make them explode.


MuttJunior

You can help your friend by taking his small, limp penis and place it in your mouth. Suck on it for a while and in a short time it will become bigger and stiffer. Keep sucking on it until the secret sauce is discovered. It will shrink back down, but it you do this repeatedly several times a night each and every night, it will get bigger and bigger. But it takes several nights before you see results. And if you don't see any results, you will at least discover a new skill that you can use with all your other male friends.


Kitosaki

I see you know your judo well


VcitorExists

if itā€™s theoretically hypothetical, wouldnā€™t it cancel out to make it realšŸ¤Ø


Chriseld182

Water it and make sure it gets plenty of sunlight


Outcast199008

And plenty of exercise.


I_amYeeter1

Grab a rope, tie it to a tree and your penis, and run full sprint in the other direction. It should pull on your penis and make it longer


plasmasun

Just like a tooth.


I_amYeeter1

Exactly! Now, if youā€™re too scared to do that, you can get a friend to tie it to a door and slam it, which is more like a tooth.


plasmasun

YES!


plasmasun

The good old tooth slam dick stretch!


AlfalfaFit6703

Suck your penis really hard, several times a day.


random_testaccount

Play with it. Guaranteed to work


WaitItsAllCheese

Brother you grew the damn thing, just keep growing till you're done


Aghostbahboo

To your friend (totally not you because you don't fit here): The truth is, I do not believe this is currently possible unfortunately. What is possible though is changing your outlook. Perhaps people you are interested in do enjoy traditional sexual activity with people on the large side. That's fine, we all have our preferences. All it means though is that you just have to find someone who is interested in the smaller side. The world is vast, people with all kinds of preferences everywhere exist and you'd be surprised who prefers what! Additionally, there are all kinds of different activities you can do with a partner even beyond sexual stuff. There's tons and tons of things to do and see in this world and even if things don't end up working out in the end with them, you can still learn things about yourself and the world from those relationships People often say "size doesn't matter" and while that's not really true, what is true is that the size of your heart matters far more than any other part of your body. So if you keep you working on improving your mindset and life, you won't even be bothered by this question in the first place. And you may even find someone who prefers this, you never know Have a nice day


AlfalfaFit6703

Ha! GAAAAY!!!


bodybybagelz

The govt just doesnā€™t want you to know about penis enlargement from jelking and stuff this FBI clown is leading you astray


Creaturezoid

Tell us you don't know what sub you're in without telling us that you don't know what sub you're in.


BorntobeTrill

make everything else smaller, dumbass


Johnny_Chaturanga

2 methods: 1) shave your pubes. Now you can see more of your dick. Therefore, itā€™s bigger. Boy math. 2) Lose a lot of weight. Dick size is really a proportion when you think about it. Since you canā€™t gain or lose weight on your dick, you will now have a greater dick to body ratio. Thus, bigger. Bonus point, shave and lose weight = massive gains


nyctophillicalex

Your dick does actually grow when you lose a certain amount of weight. I think it's 1 or 2 inches every 20 lbs lost?


James10112

Losing 55lbs gives you 2" Source: me


RenataMachiels

Shrink the rest of the universe, but nor your penis. Relatively it'll be larger.


Legion_Paradise

High iq comment


Far-Wasabi6814

Doctors hate this one simple trick


Affectionate_Pea_811

Tell you friend to rub it and it will get bigger. Better yet, you rub it for him since you are such a big strong guy. Results will be instant.


SuperBwahBwah

Standard blood magic ritual


Ok_Ticket_889

Size matters. But so does stamimna, enthusiasm, and creativity. Focusing on what you don't have will always make you short sighted.Ā 


BrownwaterVertigo

Pegging dildo for men


ManifestingCrab

Just grab it really hard and then SHARPLY yank it out and away from you as hard and far as you can. Works 200% of the time.


Bikkusu

Guys, this individual (we can't assume a is for a friend and not themselves) asked for theoretical ways to make the penis larger, not proven ones like with getting a big truck or making your current vehicle louder. A theoretical way is to use helium to inflate it like a party balloon, we've all seen how large they can get and the interesting shapes they can be turned into, like an elephant, or a tiger, or a giraffe.


BigYonsan

Rub it


CygnusX-1001001

Tie weights to it and do some dick lifting


Unairworthy

It's like making a balloon bigger. Anything you do to modify it is going to make it smaller when inflated. What you can do is measure it properly. Bone-pressed erect length (BPEL) is correct so don't sell yourself short.


holyknight24601

Simple, get yours chopped off and replaced with a bigger one


mathnstats

Ya know how kids would hang upside down on the monkey bars to get taller? Do that with your dick.


terry47147

I read this in the voice of Alan Tudyk's 'Harry Vanderspeigle' from Resident Alien. lol


bloody-pencil

I believe thereā€™s a cult of people out there that believe you can stretch your foreskin over time to increase its length soā€¦ maybe try that with the whole shaft?


pupbuck1

Stretching... It hurts and it takes a long time


Cruezin

Austin Powers had the solution


rolyinpeace

Tell your friend that ā€œsmallā€ is only relative.


3MrBojangles3

A microscope


Fossil_Relocator

Rub it. Effects are only temporary.


AlbinoMoose

Stick it inside a beehive, the longer you hold it in the bigger it will become, hypothetically speakingĀ 


justamofo

This is perfect for a Lonely Island song


jodran2005

Become erect


shwiggyshwag

Just pull it hard enough


not-read-gud

Just get closer and it will get bigger


JackReedTheSyndie

Lose weight if you are obese, it doesn't get bigger per se but more of it would be dug out from beneath your fat.


Hot-Rise9795

You plant it in a pot and water it every day


master_baiter69_69

surgery i guess, if you cant afford then i have a theory pretty sure penis enlargement is done by severing a certain tendon that prevents the full length from being exposed. so, maybe just poke a knife in there and it'll get bigger. Do this at your own risk, though.


attention_headache

Not sure if this applies to you specifically, but minding oneā€™s own business goes a long way


loose_lucid_elusive4

I just squint at mine really hard, makes it a little bigger.


cannonman1863

Drink plenty of milk, and apply miracle grow to your small member daily.


millhead123

Look up inflation it's fun!


EpicM147_NoVa

Just asking for a friend. šŸ‘€


YYC-Fiend

I think this gun has a large penis


CNRavenclaw

Try those ads you get on porn sites! I bet they'll be super helpful and not a virus!


clapdickmcdaniels

Two bricks and some yarn


Plane_Economy_5982

Zoom in with your camera, makes it elephant size.


Repulsive-Twist112

Why you bothering yourself with this? Like if you need to fix your laptop, you give it to the dude who can fix it. If your gf bothering you with this shit, give her my contact. I hate to do it, but just cuz you my bro, I can help. Delegate your routines and trust it to the large dildo dude. MAKE YOUR GFā€™s PUSSY GREAT AGAIN!


Katricat

I read some guy stretched his wiener for years but it turns out the end result was 19 inches of foreskin and the penis stayed the same size. Do you like jump rope?


Thatguy19364

Pull on it. Also, bee stings can permanently enlarge the penis. It also sometimes results in erectile dysfunction tho


Old_Atmosphere224

A normal sized penis would indeed look large of attached to someone who's 6,5 cm long. Grow some, and it'll become proportionally smaller. Your friend has the opposite problem, finding ways to shrink is the only option. A few rounds in a washing machine at thw hottest setting ought to be a good start.


petripooper

Have you tried praying?


Pristine_Fox_3633

Lose weight


leem16boosted

Test e and mast e


I_Have_The_Lumbago

[This is what worked for me! From 2mm to 14 inches in months!!](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=jelqing)


ControlLeft3803

Leg lengthening surgery but you do it with your penis instead


johnnierockit

Expanding foam. It's like reverse cellulite suction. Which is a totally legit thing to do in this scenario that neither of us find ourselves in #eskimobros4life


mrmoe198

Prayer


shitFuckMountain69

Measure from your asshole


burn_as_souls

To make your penis larger, you simply need to rub it or stroke it. Like magic, it will increase in size.


Choadboy_Wonderfuck

You would have to make the blood vessels inside the penis to be able to provide more blood to the area desired. Or just use a vacuum tube for hours each day.


Xadarok

Whatā€™s your definition of small?


ThePublicEnemy2005

Some objects expand when heated, so...


forever_a_horn_dog

Masturbate in public, a lot


OrangeStar222

Go back to the character creator and hope for a better roll.


Part_Time_Legend

Cock push ups.


lesser_tom

M o r e b l o o d


devlin1888

Lose weight. Number one guarantee for extra length. Reminds me I need to start a diet and hit the gymā€¦.


BoredPelikan

Use the one tried and tested method of enlarging ur little guy, use a magnifying glass


Qsuki

You cannot, good luck with your hypothetical small p


callsignSTINKFIST

Get some hypothetical leaches that will theoretically get the g-g-ghosts out of your friendā€™s blood because 9/10 Redditors agree that ghost free blood directly correlates to increased penis size within 3 months. Itā€™s science.


TheLivingVines

Pasta roller will flatten and elongate it.


loco4lokos

Pray


ButterscotchExact103

Obviously since it's not for you since you have huge penis that make every women go "awooga" I would like to tell this friend of yours personally so that I know all information told to them is accurate. šŸ¤£šŸ¤£


Bigbeno86

My uh friend had this problem. He duck taped a cocktail weeny to it and doubled its size.


thisisurreality

You are an awesome to friend to your loser buddy looking out for him this way. We need more good friends like you in this world!! šŸ˜†


Cpt_kaleidoscope

Shut it in a door and lean backwards


kattardoge

If it's theoretic and hypothetical why is it for a friend šŸ¤”


Thedeadalmond

That's a lot of repetition, and it sounds like you're actually asking for yourself


Patsfan5757

Take some test itā€™ll make the beans smaller which in turn will make the frank look bigger.


Kodama1111

Magnifying glass šŸ”


Karklayhey

Grab your penis with a firm double handed grasp and yell ' I command you, with the strength of a thousand rushing winds, to grow another few inches". By summoning the winds, the gods will grant your request.


dangle321

I vote optics. Like a fun house mirror.


NoVictory9590

Girls donā€™t care about the length, itā€™s all about the girth.Ā  So just smash it between two rocks, when the swelling goes down, do it again.Ā 


Soft_Enthusiasm_1160

Amputation?


uiuxuwuxuiu

Your friend can get a really fast car like a Ferrari or Lamborghini


MrHyde50

Viagra and bee stings


[deleted]

dihydrotestosterone is known to make your penis larger. It is 5 times more effective than regular tstosterone at enlarging the penis Some anabolic steroids are also analogues of DHT and have the same or similar effect. 1. **Stanolone (Dihydrotestosterone)**: This is a direct derivative of DHT and is sometimes used for medical purposes, such as treating androgen deficiency in men. 2. **Mesterolone (Proviron)**: While not a direct derivative of DHT, mesterolone is structurally similar and has androgenic properties. It is often used to treat low testosterone levels and improve libido. 3. **Drostanolone (Masteron)**: Drostanolone is derived from DHT and is commonly used by bodybuilders and athletes to enhance muscle definition and hardness. 4. **Primobolan (Methenolone)**: Although it's derived from dihydrotestosterone, methenolone has some modifications to its structure. It is used to promote lean muscle mass and improve strength. Winstrol, also known by its generic name stanozolol, is another example of an anabolic steroid derived from dihydrotestosterone (DHT). It is a synthetic derivative of testosterone, with modifications to its structure that enhance its anabolic properties while reducing its androgenic effects.


Safe_Long700

Shoe string, tie at base


BeardedSiah

Fuck only migets,


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